Why, why, WHY?!?!?! (another school shooting)

[Harriet Vane]

{{{hugs}}} to everyone consumed by this today.

 

There is not an answer; there never will be an answer that assuages your fear and empathic grief for those effected. It's senseless, and no amount of news is going to change that.

 

Please, ladies, consider if being glued to the updates is serving you. It might be better to shut off all updates for a while, and move into something with sensory input (music, kneading dough, play outside with the kids). If this is feeding worry and anxiety, a better response would be to take a break.

 

You can't fix this. Wait, and later, there will be ways to help the families impacted. You can get more accurate updates later.

 

{{{more hugs}}}

 

:iagree:

[linders]

OK, all of you,

 

I will delete posts and ban members who turn this into a gun control argument.

 

ADDED: Either FOR or AGAINST. Yes, this is a discussion that needs to happen. Not tonight, not in this thread.

 

I will delete posts and ban members who say that this is bound to happen if you have your kids in public schools.

 

And those of you who want to complain about how "this place" (meaning this forum) is run on the back of THIS thread? Are you serious? Knock it off.

 

Hug your babies. Pray for those poor parents. And behave like adults.

 

NM.

 

SWB

 

Thank you, SWB.

[windmillmarie]

Thank you, SWB. I have my kids in a public school and have a spouse that works in a public school, and we are heartsick along with everyone else. I was afraid to log on earlier because I feared there would be many posts that were homeschool safety vs. public. Thankfully, everyone here is grieving together over this horrid tragedy.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Thank you, SWB. I have my kids in a public school and have a spouse that works in a public school, and we are heartsick along with everyone else. I was afraid to log on earlier because I feared there would be many posts that were homeschool safety vs. public. Thankfully, everyone here is grieving together over this horrid tragedy.

 

The place isn't to blame. We've had local shootings at malls, theaters etc. It's just a horrible tragedy, as you said.

[SunnyDays]

I think the problem is that these things *can* happen anywhere, and mostly, you'd like to think a school is a safer place than an average public venue. And the fact that senseless violence keeps happening in schools too... well, it's hard for most people to wrap their heads around. :(

 

I'm very blessed to have my son sitting here on the sofa with me tonight... there are parents out there who would give anything for that simple joy. And my heart breaks for them.

[Kathryn]

I think the problem is that these things *can* happen anywhere, and mostly, you'd like to think a school is a safer place than an average public venue. And the fact that senseless violence keeps happening in schools too... well, it's hard for most people to wrap their heads around. :(

 

I'm very blessed to have my son sitting here on the sofa with me tonight... there are parents out there who would give anything for that simple joy. And my heart breaks for them.

 

Add to that the fact that for many people, school is the one place that their young children go without them. It's the one place they desperately need to believe is safe because they won't be there themselves to help their children. I think that adds an additional feeling of helplessness. While shootings can happen anywhere, presumably with 5-10 year olds, parents would be with them at the movies or the mall.

[LadyR]

I'm very blessed to have my son sitting here on the sofa with me tonight... there are parents out there who would give anything for that simple joy. And my heart breaks for them.

 

My feelings exactly. Cuddled my boy for a long time on the sofa. So grateful for that simple joy.

[Reya]

I agree with this wholeheartedly. But at the same time, without blaming gamers as a group or gaming in general, I don't think we can completely dismiss the effects violent video games might have on people who already have something wrong with their brain wiring. (ETA: I am not advocating banning video games. I don't think that's the answer. I don't know what the answer is.)

 

Cat

 

 

 

What is this weirdness with blaming video games? Mass Effect, an RPG, is especially laughable as a target.

 

The FB page was NOT THE PAGE OF THE SHOOTER. It has nothing to do with him. Neither do video games have anything to do with the motive for what he did. It's a bogus defense attorney argument to externalize blame.

 

Want to know what "inspired" him? Chances are another school shooting.

 

And the Asperger's "diagnosis" is going to be bogus. Bogus and infuriating. Every emotionally disturbed kid is getting slapped with an AS label these days, and it is absurd. I honestly don't think an Aspie would EVER do something like this. It's an act of indirect revenge, and someone who is really on the AS could not understand it as such.

[Word Nerd]

There are no words.

 

:(

 

I think some news sources are not giving much information because there is not a lot of information yet. We should be patient and let the authorities do their jobs I would prefer it to hysterical inaccurate rumors. We may have amazing news coverage and access now but sometimes, as things are unfolding I don't find it helpful.

 

 

I lost track of how much information I read yesterday from various news sources that turned out not to be true.

[goldberry]

Heartbroken today.....grieving over the sadness of this broken world....

 

Please, God, let your kingdom come, on earth as it is in Heaven....

[Quad Shot Academy]

 

I lost track of how much information I read yesterday from various news sources that turned out not to be true.

 

Yep, they are saying that the mom did not work at the school and that the brother (that was first reported to be arrested int he woods, outside the school, in camo) had not talked to the shooter for years and was at home. Why he targeted this school is still unknown or unreleased.

[Word Nerd]

 

Yep, they are saying that the mom did not work at the school and that the brother (that was first reported to be arrested int he woods, outside the school, in camo) had not talked to the shooter for years and was at home. Why he targeted this school is still unknown or unreleased.

 

They're also reporting now that he forced his way into the building.

[Jennifer3141]

 

They're also reporting now that he forced his way into the building.

 

 

Wow. I haven't started reading the news yet but WOW. None of that sounds like what was reported 24 hours ago. Good grief.

[pdalley]

Wow. I haven't started reading the news yet but WOW. None of that sounds like what was reported 24 hours ago. Good grief.

 

 

I took our local station to task but apparently all they care about is being 'first' not being correct in their facts. :(

[Jennifer3141]

 

 

I took our local station to task but apparently all they care about is being 'first' not being correct in their facts. :(

 

 

This really bothers me and I'm afraid the issue of accuracy and the mental health crisis in our country is going to get lost in all the coming screaming about gun control.

 

I'm a huge fan of freedom of speech but I do wish our media cared a tad more about accuracy. You can see how the 24 hour news cycle just drives this relentlessly.

[Slartibartfast]

Wow. I haven't started reading the news yet but WOW. None of that sounds like what was reported 24 hours ago. Good grief.

 

 

Our desire for immediate information is resulting in Keystone Kops style reporting.

[Audrey]

 

 

Our desire for immediate information is resulting in Keystone Kops style reporting.

 

 

 

Couple that with the very UNjournalistic propensity to speculation and you've got a hot mess of non-reporting.

 

It's already an incredible tragedy. It doesn't need journalistic travesty on top of it.

[Xuzi]

One of the victims was born the day before my middle son. It takes my breath away to look at him and try to imagine him gone.

[LibraryLover]

Since many reports have been inaccurate, what to make of this from BBC:

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk...canada-20738732

 

 

 

Adam Lanza lived with his mother in a well-to-do neighbourhood of Newtown, Connecticut. The house is about five miles (8km) from Sandy Hook School, which some reports said he had attended in his youth.

He went on to Newtown High School, but made few friends. ABC News has reported his mother pulled him out of the school and taught him at home because she was unhappy with the school district's plan for his education.

Intelligent but shy and nervous were the most common memories of those who learnt beside him

 

Me: And what does it mean he was taught and home and went to high school and maybe went to Sandy Hook as a youth?

[aggieamy]

Since many reports have been inaccurate, what to make of this from BBC:

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk...canada-20738732

 

 

 

Adam Lanza lived with his mother in a well-to-do neighbourhood of Newtown, Connecticut. The house is about five miles (8km) from Sandy Hook School, which some reports said he had attended in his youth.

He went on to Newtown High School, but made few friends. ABC News has reported his mother pulled him out of the school and taught him at home because she was unhappy with the school district's plan for his education.

Intelligent but shy and nervous were the most common memories of those who learnt beside him

 

Me: And what does it mean he was taught and home and went to high school and maybe went to Sandy Hook as a youth?

 

I really don't want this kid to have been homeschooled. Our poor community gets enough negativity without adding monsters to the mix.

[LibraryLover]

*if* that article has some truth, it seems to me this family tried various ways to help him. He might have started off in school, was taken out of Sandy Hook when school wasn't a good fit, and went back to try high school. What that means to me is he was probably a child who people were tying to help not fall through the cracks. Of course it's speculation on my part, and I am trying not to speculate.

 

A sick person is not a monster. I know that's hard to consider, but some people really are sick.

[aggieamy]

*if* that article has some truth, it seems to me this family tried various ways to help him. He might have started off in school, was taken out of Sandy Hook when school wasn't a good fit, and went back to try high school. What that means to me is he was probably a child who people were tying to help not fall through the cracks. Of course it's speculation on my part, and I am trying not to speculate.

 

A sick person is not a monster. I know that's hard to consider, but some people really are sick.

 

Logically I know that BUT right now I'm not in a position to a logical person. I'm sad. I think I really need to step away from the news of this for a bit.

[ChristineW]

I'm so sad and sick. My son just turned 7 and his sister will be 6 in a few weeks. I can't comprehend 20 babies just like them gone. It hurts so much.

 

And to think of the first grade teacher who put herself between the shooter and her students so that a few could run out and escape--I know the stories are conflicting some say she hid all her kids in cabinets and was the only one shot--and the other adults who protected their charges. They were true heroes.

[butterflymommy]

It looks like he was homeschooled for part of high school.

 

http://news.yahoo.com/adam-lanzas-mom-pulled-him-school-relative-194453060--abc-news-topstories.html

 

I wonder if the mom was ever a member here? :(

[kalanamak]

I really don't want this kid to have been homeschooled. Our poor community gets enough negativity without adding monsters to the mix.

 

I know, but I have met a few moms who take kids out of high school for social problems, for poor individual plan for a 2E child, or, in two cases, because the older sib got into drugs at that age and they keep the younger home for fear of being introduced to the same crowd.

 

If you have a child who was being bullied, or not fitting in, or coming home with rages s/he can't explain, or starting up with a very bad crowd, etc etc, wouldn't many thinking mothers keep the kid home and try to help the kid through it or hope s/he will outgrow it? I'm betting there is at least one person on these boards in a similar situation.

[melmichigan]

I really don't want this kid to have been homeschooled. Our poor community gets enough negativity without adding monsters to the mix.

 

There are monsters in every community.

 

I waited until today to sit down and read anything but the headlines, there was just so much conflicting information. My heart hurts.

[Violet Crown]

At least two people, a relative and a woman from the neighborhood, are saying Lanza was homeschooled.

 

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/autistic_loner_explosion_l4kSMDgX2pADJyjxx1G4mI

http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/adam-lanzas-mom-pulled-school-relative/t/story?id=17985433

 

[melmichigan]

double post, sorry

[Audrey]

I know, but I have met a few moms who take kids out of high school for social problems, for poor individual plan for a 2E child, or, in two cases, because the older sib got into drugs at that age and they keep the younger home for fear of being introduced to the same crowd.

 

If you have a child who was being bullied, or not fitting in, or coming home with rages s/he can't explain, or starting up with a very bad crowd, etc etc, wouldn't many thinking mothers keep the kid home and try to help the kid through it or hope s/he will outgrow it? I'm betting there is at least one person on these boards in a similar situation.

 

 

 

Right now, I am homeschooling a kid like the bolded. He is my ds's best buddy. His parents have tried for years to rectify the terrible situation. After years of listening to me say, "he could be homeschooled," his parents have called my hand and dh and I are homeschooling him alongside our son. I do not see any rage in this kid, though. In the beginning, I saw a lot of sadness and broken spiritedness. Recently, I've started seeing a bit more light in the eyes. Thankfully.

[butterflymommy]

I haven't read every article but I haven't gotten the impression he was bullied. Some articles quoted students specifically saying he wasn't bullied but he was considered an oddball and just left alone.

[Spy Car]

 

 

 

Right now, I am homeschooling a kid like the bolded. He is my ds's best buddy. His parents have tried for years to rectify the terrible situation. After years of listening to me say, "he could be homeschooled," his parents have called my hand and dh and I are homeschooling him alongside our son. I do not see any rage in this kid, though. In the beginning, I saw a lot of sadness and broken spiritedness. Recently, I've started seeing a bit more light in the eyes. Thankfully.

 

Well said.

 

Bill

[kalanamak]

I haven't read every article but I haven't gotten the impression he was bullied. Some articles quoted students specifically saying he wasn't bullied but he was considered and oddball an just left alone.

 

Since threads can't be hybrided any more, I can't see who you are replying to. I did not, in mine, nor, I believe, did Audrey imply in hers, that this man was bullied. I think we simply meant that if brink and mortar school isn't "working" for you, for whatever reason, and going really badly, sensible parents can and do consider homeschooling.

 

And sometimes school, a very "social" place, doesn't work for children growing up with emotional problems. E.g. many a budding schizophrenic finds high school overwhelming in the stimuli department and quits.

 

But, looking at a picture of a "pencil protector" nerd who is bone-thin, I don't imagine the doers and the shakers at his high school smiled warmly on him.

[idnib]

Charlotte Bacon, 6

Daniel Barden, 7

Rachel Davino, 29

Olivia Engel, 6

Josephine Gay, 7

Ana Marquez-Greene, 6

Dylan Hockley, 6

Dawn Hochsprung, 47

Madeleine Hsu, 6

Catherine Hubbard, 6

Chase Kowalski, 7

Jesse Lewis, 6

James Mattioli, 6

Grace McDonnell, 7

Anne Marie Murphy, 52

Emilie Parker, 6

Jack Pinto, 6

Noah Pozner, 6

Caroline Previdi, 6

Jessica Rekos, 6

Avielle Richman, 6

Lauren Rousseau, 30

Mary Sherlach, 56

Victoria Soto,27

Benjamin Wheeler, 6

Allison Wyatt, 6

 

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[amo_mea_filiis.]

:(

[LearningMomm]

:crying:

[Guest submarines]

I really don't want this kid to have been homeschooled. Our poor community gets enough negativity without adding monsters to the mix.

 

 

A mentally ill person is not a monster. This kind of thinking prevents people with mental illness from seeking help.

[pereztribe]

My heart is still so sick from what happened yesterday. My prayers go out to those poor families who lost their loved ones and to those emergency personnel and children who had to witness this tragedy. My prayers are also for our nation who is hurting because of what happened yesterday. I know as a parent all I can think about are those parents who have lost their children so close to Christmas. Now if you all will excuse me, I'm going to go enjoy my family for the the rest of the night God has blessed me with. Goodnight, and may the angels protect all of you tonight and everyday. :grouphug:

[SKL]

Feeling sad in so many ways tonight. Honoring those who gave their lives (in more ways than one) to try to save children. Grieving for those who lost sweet little children at this time of year. Hurting for the surviving family of the gunman, too.

[jennynd]

One of the Facebook friend posted a t-shirt which reads...

 

“Dear God, Why do you allow so much violence in our schools? Sincerely Yours, A Concerned Student….

Dear Concerned Student, I am not allowed in school. Sincerely Yours, God.â€

 

 

[I.Dup.]

 

A mentally ill person is not a monster. This kind of thinking prevents people with mental illness from seeking help.

 

 

No, of course not. Someone who guns down children is a monster.

[idnib]

One of the Facebook friend posted a t-shirt which reads...

 

“Dear God, Why do you allow so much violence in our schools? Sincerely Yours, A Concerned Student….

Dear Concerned Student, I am not allowed in school. Sincerely Yours, God.â€

 

 

Huh? Violence happens in lots of places where God is allowed, including houses of worship. :confused1:

 

Some areas of the world have the highest rates of atheism and the lowest rates of homicide.

[jennynd]

 

 

Huh? Violence happens in lots of places where God is allowed, including houses of worship. :confused1:

 

Some areas of the world have the highest rates of atheism and the lowest rates of homicide.

 

 

Not trying to start a debate and I think u miss the point.

[idnib]

Not trying to start a debate and I think u miss the point.

 

 

Oh, sorry. I guess I misunderstood. I'd like to understand what I missed....

[LibraryLover]

Oh, sorry. I guess I misunderstood. I'd like to understand what I missed....

 

 

It seems many from the communiity are religious, and are meeting at their houses of worship to comfort each other. There are also interfaith services planned.

[Guest submarines]

 

Oh, sorry. I guess I misunderstood. I'd like to understand what I missed....

 

 

Me too, please.

[SJ.]

Not trying to start a debate and I think u miss the point.

 

I'm not sure she did, it is a reference to religion not being permitted in schools, separation of church and state.

[LibraryLover]

 

I'm not sure she did, it is a reference to religion not being permitted in schools, separation of church and state.

 

 

I am not sure it applies here. The very first photos show nuns and priests from the community on the scene.

[Murphy101]

It's a BS quote that has nothing to do with God or this tragedy.

It is political and a poor understanding of politics at that.

And an even worse understanding of theology.

 

Nm the rest.

[Guest submarines]

 

I'm not sure she did, it is a reference to religion not being permitted in schools, separation of church and state.

 

Yes, but how is it relevant to the situation? The way I understood the reference, I found it crass and insensitive. But I hope to be wrong.

[SJ.]

I am not sure it applies here. The very first photos show nuns and priests from the community on the scene.

 

I'm not sure what photos you are referencing. I have seen the aforementioned tshirt numerous times today and yesterday on facebook without any accompanying photos.