Tap Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That family doesn't have your back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Wow...I have no idea. I think I'm too much of a Pollyanna for most of this. I always expect things to get better than they are, and I honestly try to see the good in everyone. I love being happy waaaay too much to be bitter with life. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Wow...I have no idea. I think I'm too much of a Pollyanna for most of this. I always expect things to get better than they are, and I honestly try to see the good in everyone. I love being happy waaaay too much to be bitter with life. :D Oh I am not bitter with life; I just recognize that life holds some bitter truths. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 No. I have one. Sure, we have our disagreements and we can annoy each other sometimes, but it is a remarkably happy marriage. Not a fairy tale. A real one. I'm glad to hear people have them. But it isn't true in my family and that of all of my extended family. I'm sure they happen , but that might as well be a fairy tale for my world, kwim? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Oh I am not bitter with life; I just recognize that life holds some bitter truths. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That sometimes people, even children, die through no fault of their own. That life is very, very fragile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 In general, "people" are out for themselves, and will F$^$ you over if they get a chance. I learned this our first several years owning a business. The vast majority of business relationships are just fake B.S. People are out to get something from you ALL THE TIME. There are exceptions, of course. But, in general, TRUST NOONE (in business). Sad, but true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 No. I have one. Sure, we have our disagreements and we can annoy each other sometimes, but it is a remarkably happy marriage. Not a fairy tale. A real one. :iagree: Happy marriages DO exist. No marriage is happy ALL the time, but I am gloriously blessed with a strong marriage to a wonderful man. I didn't deserve it, still don't deserve it, but somehow, I am blessed to be one of the rare lucky ones. I do know it is rare. I do know. (And, I am saddened frequently to observe the many less happy unions all around me.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyCrazyMama Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 (edited) Wow...I have no idea. I think I'm too much of a Pollyanna for most of this. I always expect things to get better than they are, and I honestly try to see the good in everyone. I love being happy waaaay too much to be bitter with life. :D :iagree:There is a lot of sad reality in the pps but just reading the thread title (more than once) nothing sprang to my mind. ETA - Regarding happy marriages, we have one too. An awesomely, awesome marriage better than I deserve. Dh and I say we have it and there are a few other couples we say have it too, not that we can define it.:) Edited November 3, 2012 by Happyhomemama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 Oh I am not bitter with life; I just recognize that life holds some bitter truths. Actually, I find acknowledging the bad in life to be very positive. I know too many people who run from it, while I was raised to think it a mature trait to be able to admit something negative without being snowed under by it. And I am a very cheerful person. I was taken aback, as I said in the OP, to see promising people become mean or bitter or drunk or defeated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 People really do like to step on you when you are down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 :iagree: Happy marriages DO exist. No marriage is happy ALL the time, but I am gloriously blessed with a strong marriage to a wonderful man. When my mother was 89 years old, she told me she'd has 38 years of a wonderful marriage, and then 30 years of a not-wonderful marriage. I did the math. It was the year my father retired and all the kids were gone. I think that without kids in the house, she lost what she'd lived for (they had a child under their roof for 37 years, and a preschooler for 24 of them), and I don't think she would have predicted that when she was, say, 45. It is a sobering thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 People really do like to step on you when you are down. I'm sorry you have had that experience. I think I'm so inconsequential to most people, no one would bother to step on me when I was down. Too much effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 I'm sorry you have had that experience. I think I'm so inconsequential to most people, no one would bother to step on me when I was down. Too much effort. Oh, I don't think it matters at all who it is. People just like to feel superior to someone, even a random someone who means nothing to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That I am the source of my own undoing; my depression, my pitfalls, my flaws. I would love to blame it on anything else, but really, it all comes down to me. I cant blame anyone....it's a really bitter truth. But like all bitter truths, once you own it, you have the power to chose what you want to make of it. So now I know I am my own worst enemy, how then shall I live? It's scary but empowering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 When my mother was 89 years old, she told me she'd has 38 years of a wonderful marriage, and then 30 years of a not-wonderful marriage. I did the math. It was the year my father retired and all the kids were gone. I think that without kids in the house, she lost what she'd lived for (they had a child under their roof for 37 years, and a preschooler for 24 of them), and I don't think she would have predicted that when she was, say, 45. It is a sobering thought. Yeah, no kidding. That's pretty scary to envision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That I am the source of my own undoing; my depression, my pitfalls, my flaws. I would love to blame it on anything else, but really, it all comes down to me. It's a bitter truth. Worst one of all, I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justme824 Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That people can be very selfish, say they have your back 100% and things will always be good between you, and then show their true colors and walk away from you in your darkest hour. I am not a bitter person, and I am forgiving. It was a hard reality to discover someone I thought was similar in thought was actually very bitter and extremely unforgiving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elinor Everywhere Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That I will outlive my child. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: My deepest fear. So, so sorry, and crying for you. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That people can be very selfish, say they have your back 100% and things will always be good between you, and then show their true colors and walk away from you in your darkest hour. I am not a bitter person, and I am forgiving. It was a hard reality to discover someone I thought was similar in thought was actually very bitter and extremely unforgiving. And we have a tie, with the last worst truth. I'm getting off this thread. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justme824 Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 People really do like to step on you when you are down. I agree. Especially this year. I've been stepped on over and over again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 My most bitter truth is that the people I love end up suffering more for my mistakes than I do myself. And I end up suffering more from my dh's or children's mistakes than they do. Interconnectedness. Painful as it is wonderful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 My most bitter truth is that the people I love end up suffering more for my mistakes than I do myself. And I end up suffering more from my dh's or children's mistakes than they do. Interconnectedness. Painful as it is wonderful. :iagree: Yes, well said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That life can completely change, in the wink of an eye. But, I still love life either way, and I really can't stifle my delight in having this experience of living. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 :iagree: Happy marriages DO exist. No marriage is happy ALL the time, but I am gloriously blessed with a strong marriage to a wonderful man. I didn't deserve it, still don't deserve it, but somehow, I am blessed to be one of the rare lucky ones. I do know it is rare. I do know. (And, I am saddened frequently to observe the many less happy unions all around me.) :iagree:There is a lot of sad reality in the pps but just reading the thread title (more than once) nothing sprang to my mind. ETA - Regarding happy marriages, we have one too. An awesomely, awesome marriage better than I deserve. Dh and I say we have it and there are a few other couples we say have it too, not that we can define it.:) I'm feeling very off topic tonight:tongue_smilie:. Regarding "it". My best definition of "it" is both people in a marriage realizing that the other person is completely insane for dealing with your crud, yet totally appreciating their stupidity for dealing with you. Dh and I both acknowledge the other one is completely mental for dealing with the crud, yet we thoroughly appreciate the effort the other one puts into the marriage. It isn't "perfect", but it sure is fulfilling. It also doesn't hurt that dh is a total hottie;). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutor Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That the mundane tasks take up the majority of life. No wonder TV has so many commercial breaks... it hides the uninteresting, boring bits. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That the mundane tasks take up the majority of life. No wonder TV has so many commercial breaks... it hides the uninteresting, boring bits. :glare: :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildiris Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 What is the bitterest truth you've learned? Life is neither fair nor equal. Others will resent your success. Not a bitter truth, but a truth nonetheless: There is no perfect. Life will never look like those glossy magazine ads, and those people you might think have it all also have a pain you don't see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 I've learned the hard way that I see hard reality in many places where others are blinded-in particular, I can see sociopathic behavior easily. But I also see elements of people's personality that foreshadow later terrible downfalls. I have also tried to ignore my judgement and it has turned out badly though in the worse case, I don't see how I could have stopped the carnage that was occurring and continued to occur (that particular carnage I knew nothing about but I had observed deceitful behavior and a charming personality and knew there was a problem but also knew that what I had observed would be easily dismissed as a one time error because of time or stress or whatever. What I observed was a academic ethical problem but what was happening behind the scenes was horrific child abuse). I guess it is called discernment and it did help me when I worked (as an INS inspector) but now it just disheartens me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Actually, I find acknowledging the bad in life to be very positive. I know too many people who run from it, while I was raised to think it a mature trait to be able to admit something negative without being snowed under by it. And I am a very cheerful person. I was taken aback, as I said in the OP, to see promising people become mean or bitter or drunk or defeated. :iagree: A bitter truth I've learned is that poverty is a complex interrelated problem that education and mentoring will not necessarily solve and that chaotic lifestyles may be hardwired into brains of some folks despite their failed efforts at overcoming the chaos. After reviewing multigenerational poverty in my community and those who do manage to overcome it through intelligence and/or hard work, I have no pat answers and luck plays a bigger role than I had previously suspected. Life is not black and white; we seldom know the whole story. Developing the ability to see a situation from another person's perspective goes a long way in smoothing out disagreements. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That time does NOT heal all pain. You just get a higher tolerance for pain. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Buckin' Longhorn Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Sometimes it just simply is NOT going to be okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That being tough comes from having to do really difficult things or go through really difficult things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom in High Heels Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That the world does not, in fact, revolve around me. Indy is learning that lesson right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Actually, I find acknowledging the bad in life to be very positive. I know too many people who run from it, while I was raised to think it a mature trait to be able to admit something negative without being snowed under by it. Me too for the most part. The only problem I get really stuck on is, like others have said, people don't necessarily improve with age. When I was younger I expected people would grow up, or that I would and then I'd understand. Science fiction shows usually annoy me because there we are, four thousand years into the future, and still behaving just as crappily as now. Shouldn't we have evolved? It's been four thousand years!!! :lol: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That my parents aren't always right and that blind faith in them and their beliefs was doing me a disservice. The bitterest part is that DD may decide the same thing, and may be right. Times change, people don't always follow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That no matter how nice I try to be, no matter how much I try to help others, there will always be people who hate me, and try to destroy me just because I'm happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lailasmum Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 (edited) That I should always trust my gut. :iagree:That my gut instincts are generally right and ignoring them to please others will lead to bad things. That I can't base my own self worth on other people's views/reactions/opinions etc. I need to listen to myself and be my own best friend. That there is no point to life. We just have to get on with it, taking the opportunity to take an interesting path through it if we can. That we are all much closer to just surviving than we like to admit. Houses, jobs, people and all the other stuff can go so fast and leave us completely vulnerable. Edited November 3, 2012 by lailasmum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That it is MY attitude that affects how the children behave, not what is happening around us.(must keep positive) Yes and no matter what ideas DH and I have in our heads we need to accept our children for who they are and not what we want them to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Sometimes it just simply is NOT going to be okay. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That I am the source of my own undoing; my depression, my pitfalls, my flaws. I would love to blame it on anything else, but really, it all comes down to me. I cant blame anyone....it's a really bitter truth. But like all bitter truths, once you own it, you have the power to chose what you want to make of it. So now I know I am my own worst enemy, how then shall I live? It's scary but empowering. Oh boy, You SO nailed this one.....yes, how shall I then live? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 (edited) My bitterest lesson was that the church (denomination) I grew up in was full of... um, platitudes. I'll leave it at that, I think. ;) Another bitter lesson has been that family dynamics do not change because I put out more effort. . Edited November 3, 2012 by Sahamamama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duckens Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 I can never have the relationship and conversations with my parents that I need to have. However, not all is lost. I get a second chance at a parent-child relationship. I get the chance to be there for my kids in the relationship and conversations that THEY need. I'm going to do the best I can. And I am humbly blessed with a partner who knows what he is doing in this area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 You can only depend on yourself - being a good friend is not enough to ensure you will have good friends when you need them. It's a bitter truth, but an empowering one. I've been a happier person with happier relationships since I accepted this, but the accepting was slow and painful, and took about 25 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonnie in VA Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That I am the source of my own undoing; my depression, my pitfalls, my flaws. I would love to blame it on anything else, but really, it all comes down to me. I cant blame anyone....it's a really bitter truth. But like all bitter truths, once you own it, you have the power to chose what you want to make of it. So now I know I am my own worst enemy, how then shall I live? It's scary but empowering. In recent months I've been coming to realize what's stated in the first paragraph; I look forward to feeling the empowerment described in the second paragraph (but I'm not there yet). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 (edited) n/m Edited November 3, 2012 by DawnM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 (edited) delete Edited November 3, 2012 by DawnM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paisley Hedgehog Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 (edited) nm Edited November 3, 2012 by Shari nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 That people will be all kissy-face/huggy-bod to you and then lie about you to someone in authority over you. And that the person in authority over you will believe the lie.:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 There are problems I just cannot fix, especially in regards to poverty. I cannot save all children, not even all of those who want to be saved. Poverty does not let go easily. On the bright side...I do help save a lot of kids. I can help kids break out of generational poverty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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