Impish Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 ok. So yesterday, I got a really odd email from MIL. Asking for forgiveness, apologizing for jumping to conclusions, talking about having put my email addy in wrong, etc. Neither Wolf nor I had a clue wth she was talking about. Then, I just got a vm from her. Saying she sent a letter addressed to Wolf, and to not open it, to throw it in the garbage. That the letter was 'awful, just awful'. :001_huh: Whatever letter it is, it hasn't arrived yet. Honestly, I'm inclined to open it. For one, we know that she's spread lies about my husband around extended family before, and if she's committed it to paper, then she's *absolutely* spread it around the family grapevine. Forewarned is forearmed. Two, it'd be nice to know what she REALLY thinks of him/us, yanno? I also feel that this is another NPD attention getting stunt/manipulation. WWYD? Open it, or toss it in the garbage as demanded? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindyz Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I would open it for sure. I would keep in mind the context, but I would definitely open it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrookValley. Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I'd open it. No doubt about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I'd open it, but with a sense of pre-grace in my heart that I already know she (for some reason) regrets whatever it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I am too nosy to just throw it away Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Curiosity would kill me. I would open it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Send it to me. I'll open it, tell you the gist of what it says without you having to suffer for it, and will then torch it for you if you want me to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Send it to me. I'll open it, tell you the gist of what it says without you having to suffer for it, and will then torch it for you if you want me to. :lol::lol: I would definitely open it. Of course you'll open it. Right?? All these MIL posts are making me nervous. My ILs are visiting in less than two weeks...:banghead: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bnbacademy Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I would toss it unopened into a fire. Don't give it any feet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoVanGogh Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Send it to me. I'll open it, tell you the gist of what it says without you having to suffer for it, and will then torch it for you if you want me to. :iagree:My gut reaction is that I would so be opening it! But - really, I would probably give it to a friend and have them read it, then torch it. That said, I didn't have any relationship with my mother for nearly 5 years, then she showed up at my wedding. She said a friend of her's had sent her a letter and convinced her to make amends with me. She said I can read the letter when she dies. I often wonder what the letter says. It isn't like the curiosity is killing me, but I do think about the contents of the letter on a regular basis. :tongue_smilie: So in your case, I think I would need to read the letter myself and then try to scrub it from my memory. And on a related note... We had a message on our answering machine the other day from a debt collector, looking for someone else. The message said, "If you are not John Smith, you are legally obligated to quit listening to this message immediately." Yeah, right. We listened to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I'd open it, but with a sense of pre-grace in my heart that I already know she (for some reason) regrets whatever it is. Well, this but more cynical. I'd open it knowing it was a full-on N-rage for whatever crime she thought you'd committed in not responding to the ill-addressed email. Though, I can't help thinking the acknowledgement of her own error and trying to preempt the reading of the rage letter is sort of... Advanced. Or, at least, sort of odd progress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 21, 2012 Author Share Posted September 21, 2012 Well, this but more cynical. I'd open it knowing it was a full-on N-rage for whatever crime she thought you'd committed in not responding to the ill-addressed email. Though, I can't help thinking the acknowledgement of her own error and trying to preempt the reading of the rage letter is sort of... Advanced. Or, at least, sort of odd progress. I wonder if it's more attention seeking, or something. Realization she'd be giving up Nsupply, as well as giving us proof of her behaviour. Inclined to think it's the last one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Open it. And report back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I would open it for sure. I would keep in mind the context, but I would definitely open it. :iagree: Definitely, just for information's sake for when you hear odd things from others. With your MIL, any forewarning is icing on the cake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Send it to me. I'll open it, tell you the gist of what it says without you having to suffer for it, and will then torch it for you if you want me to. :lol: On a serious note, though, a friend of mine would call me up and ask me to call her voice mail to weed through the insane, demonic-sounding rants and see if there was any pertinent information when her unmedicated, severely bipolar, NPD MIL would call. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I'd open it, but with a sense of pre-grace in my heart that I already know she (for some reason) regrets whatever it is. Open it. And report back. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I wonder if it's more attention seeking, or something. Realization she'd be giving up Nsupply, as well as giving us proof of her behaviour. Inclined to think it's the last one. I totally agree. But (at least in my mother's case), she normally lacks the introspection and planning to see that play out in advance, let alone decide that there may be negative consequences. Mine would feel completely justified, and shocked at my audacity in being offended by whatever is in the letter. And she would insist that I wrote the incorrect email address in her book. So... Yeah, connecting those dots and taking action seems advanced to me, even if it's motivated by her self interest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan C. Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Does she need you for something? Then, ooops, I sent that awful letter and they will be mad at me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Imp, you've said before that she seems to be developing dementia on top of her already very awful personality. I think you should open it and KEEP it because if she's getting to where she really can't live alone any longer, a long, non-sensical, rambling, evidence of memory failing, completely mixed up letter may be evidence in the future for when Wolf's cousin (if memory serves, his cousin is the one that is sorta keeping an eye on her) needs to take action. It probably is awful. It's not like you can expect less given her history. But, it could also be totally bizarre and proof to the rest of the family that the dementia is getting worse. :grouphug: Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Open it. Get a good laugh because you already know how bad she is, and what she says/does to about you and to you. It probably won't change how you feel about her. I mean could she really get any worse? Plus then you know what she's said and you can defend yourself if need be. And come on, you can't seriously send a letter to someone, then say don't open it and expect them NOT to! That is just beyond cruel! I'd have to know. Espescially if it was the wranting of a witch writing it. But most importantly, after you read, you have to update about it! I've been reading this soap opera long enough! No way can you go out on a cliff hanger like that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Honestly, I'm inclined to open it. Forewarned is forearmed. Two, it'd be nice to know what she REALLY thinks of him/us, yanno? I also feel that this is another NPD attention getting stunt/manipulation. WWYD? Open it, or toss it in the garbage as demanded? :iagree: I'd read it - surely she can't do anything to make you think any less of her, and forewarned IS forearmed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Send it to me. I'll open it, tell you the gist of what it says without you having to suffer for it, and will then torch it for you if you want me to. can I come over and read it too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoot Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Curiosity would kill me. I would open it. Same here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 (edited) Imp, you've said before that she seems to be developing dementia on top of her already very awful personality. I think you should open it and KEEP it because if she's getting to where she really can't live alone any longer, a long, non-sensical, rambling, evidence of memory failing, completely mixed up letter may be evidence in the future for when Wolf's cousin (if memory serves, his cousin is the one that is sorta keeping an eye on her) needs to take action. It probably is awful. It's not like you can expect less given her history. But, it could also be totally bizarre and proof to the rest of the family that the dementia is getting worse. :grouphug: Faith Ok. I'd have poured booze over it then lit it, but Faith is right. Edited September 21, 2012 by Rosie_0801 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 I wonder if the letter even exists. Is that too cynical of me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Open it and SAVE IT FOREVER so you'll have a written record of her craziness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Imp, you've said before that she seems to be developing dementia on top of her already very awful personality. I think you should open it and KEEP it because if she's getting to where she really can't live alone any longer, a long, non-sensical, rambling, evidence of memory failing, completely mixed up letter may be evidence in the future for when Wolf's cousin (if memory serves, his cousin is the one that is sorta keeping an eye on her) needs to take action. It probably is awful. It's not like you can expect less given her history. But, it could also be totally bizarre and proof to the rest of the family that the dementia is getting worse. :grouphug: Faith :iagree: It may be handy to have in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Never in a million years would I NOT open it. :) I might lie and say I didn't or admit I did depending on the situation and the content of the letter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 I'd open it, but with a sense of pre-grace in my heart that I already know she (for some reason) regrets whatever it is. This. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 What about option C: do not open it but do not throw it away. Put it in a safe place and threaten to open it next time she annoys you. Option D: Open it, then appear on television telling the nation who evil your MIL is, and follow this up with a book and a speaking circuit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 22, 2012 Author Share Posted September 22, 2012 I talked to Wolf. First, he's not at all pleased that she's once again come to me, expecting me to decieve him to cover her ass. It's his letter, he wants it. In talking, we think this is more about her realizing that she's handed us proof of her crappy behaviour, and she's normally a LOT sneakier than that. I think she's more worried that we'd have proof that we could show ppl than anything else. Faith, what you said is true too. Wolf's seriously ticked she expected me to decieve him. I don't lie to my husband, I don't keep secrets from him. He keeps mumbling under his breath about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reflections Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Since your are pretty sure of the content *I* would: a. Open it b. Read it, shake my head and laugh. c. Plan on keeping if F.O.R.E.V.E.R. d. (and this is the most important, imo) scan it onto your computer and share it with the hive!! :D I love your mil posts. I'm just sorry you have to deal with it - especially with everything you have going on. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 22, 2012 Author Share Posted September 22, 2012 Oh, and to whoever suggested it, part of me wonders if there's actually a letter as well. I guess we'll find out next wk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 I'm with katherine the great on this one. My crazy npd mil has pulled the same stunt....but she doesn't apologize...she just tells us to laugh it off or that she didn't ever say/write that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Open it. And report back. Imp, you've said before that she seems to be developing dementia on top of her already very awful personality. I think you should open it and KEEP it because if she's getting to where she really can't live alone any longer, a long, non-sensical, rambling, evidence of memory failing, completely mixed up letter may be evidence in the future for when Wolf's cousin (if memory serves, his cousin is the one that is sorta keeping an eye on her) needs to take action. It probably is awful. It's not like you can expect less given her history. But, it could also be totally bizarre and proof to the rest of the family that the dementia is getting worse. :grouphug: Faith :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MommaOfalotta Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 I would have to open it. Absolutely. I also agree with pp, I think you should share with the hive!:D (Im sorry your husband is upset by this.. I hope it doesnt contain anything too hurtful.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Don't tell her you opened it and you won't have the drama. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 22, 2012 Author Share Posted September 22, 2012 Don't tell her you opened it and you won't have the drama. Honestly, I think that there may be fall out, *if* there actually is a letter. It wouldn't surprise me if this was just an attention grab. It'll be totally up to Wolf what happens. I predicted, back when she pulled her disappearing act, had a missing person's report out on her, and was *laughing* about all the upset she caused that once that attention died down, there would be another stunt. I'm betting this is it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAMom Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Honestly, I think that there may be fall out, *if* there actually is a letter. It wouldn't surprise me if this was just an attention grab. It'll be totally up to Wolf what happens. I predicted, back when she pulled her disappearing act, had a missing person's report out on her, and was *laughing* about all the upset she caused that once that attention died down, there would be another stunt. I'm betting this is it. YEP!! I think this is probably true, too. But, if there is a letter, you'll share it, right?:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 22, 2012 Author Share Posted September 22, 2012 YEP!! I think this is probably true, too. But, if there is a letter, you'll share it, right?:D Probably not word for word, but *if* there is indeed a letter, chances are you'll hear about it! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 That you have to read any letter because WE have to know what it says! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Curiosity would kill me. I would open it. I shake Christmas gifts. I'm FOR SURE opening that letter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 22, 2012 Author Share Posted September 22, 2012 Interesting. MIL just called for Princess' birthday. She didn't mention the letter at all. I was fully prepared to tell her, "I don't play games like that w/my husband. It'll be up to him if he opens the letter or not." There were big pauses in the convo, as if she was waiting for me to say something, but I just waited her out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 :iagree::iagree::iagree: I would have to open it to know, but you might ask dh if he wants to know. kwim? It's harder when it's your mom vs. your crazy mil. Imp, you've said before that she seems to be developing dementia on top of her already very awful personality. I think you should open it and KEEP it because if she's getting to where she really can't live alone any longer, a long, non-sensical, rambling, evidence of memory failing, completely mixed up letter may be evidence in the future for when Wolf's cousin (if memory serves, his cousin is the one that is sorta keeping an eye on her) needs to take action. It probably is awful. It's not like you can expect less given her history. But, it could also be totally bizarre and proof to the rest of the family that the dementia is getting worse. :grouphug: Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 She also may not have sent any letter and just wants to mess with your mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 22, 2012 Author Share Posted September 22, 2012 She also may not have sent any letter and just wants to mess with your mind. Yup, entirely possible. We both agree about that. We'll find out in the coming wk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan C. Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 There were big pauses in the convo, as if she was waiting for me to say something, but I just waited her out. Good job Imp! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Imp, you've said before that she seems to be developing dementia on top of her already very awful personality. I think you should open it and KEEP it because if she's getting to where she really can't live alone any longer, a long, non-sensical, rambling, evidence of memory failing, completely mixed up letter may be evidence in the future for when Wolf's cousin (if memory serves, his cousin is the one that is sorta keeping an eye on her) needs to take action. It probably is awful. It's not like you can expect less given her history. But, it could also be totally bizarre and proof to the rest of the family that the dementia is getting worse. :grouphug: Faith :iagree:I thought of her dementia as soon as I read your post. It is really somewhat surprising that she is concerned about you reading the letter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Good for you; way to use the uncomfortable pause. :grouphug:Hugs to you and everyone dealing with a monster-in-law. Interesting. MIL just called for Princess' birthday. She didn't mention the letter at all. I was fully prepared to tell her, "I don't play games like that w/my husband. It'll be up to him if he opens the letter or not." There were big pauses in the convo, as if she was waiting for me to say something, but I just waited her out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Imp, could this be a trap against you? If the letter is addressed to Wolf, could she have told you and asked you to take it so Wolf wouldn't read it. That way, later on, she can tell Wolf that you are keeping info from him and also keeping Wolf from her? Just so she can say you are causing problems between her and Wolf? Does that make sense? Walk carefully, together with Wolf through this. Don't allow her a single hair's breath between the two of you. She might be trying to divide and conquer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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