Shellydon Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I am physically and mentally tired. I want to be alone all day in my clean house. We are entering our 6th year of homeschooling with 15 more to go. :tongue_smilie: Where do you find the strength to keep up the frantic pace of homeschooling? - By frantic, I mean anything more that me sitting quietly alone for years on end. I like being by myself. Public school will not ever be an option. If we put the kids in private school, I will need to go back to work. What strategies to you use to keep going? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 We take every fifth week off, and during that week my dad takes the kids for a day. I make sure I get breaks. I couldn't do it without them. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Right niw i am wiped out, but that is mostly due to behavioral issues from older and my own mood issues. We also just moved, so i am worn out from that. I think pacing is key. Knowing when to back off and have a read-aloud day, or just go to the par or beach. I am not good at this, but i am learning. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 When I start to get burned out, it helps me to plan a fun, but simple field trip. I have found that having something to look forward to makes the "regular" days a bit easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted September 13, 2012 Author Share Posted September 13, 2012 We take every fifth week off, and during that week my dad takes the kids for a day. I make sure I get breaks. I couldn't do it without them. Tara We don't have family that is willing to watch our kids. Maybe that is my problem- no breaks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth S Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 We did not have family (or nearby friends) to babysit our five . . . so it forced me to be a bit more creative. We school year round, so that we can take breaks when we need it. I have no idea how old your children are, but when they're young they benefit from outside breaks and less sitting-in-a-desk-all-day requirements. Training them to obey, learning to be cheerful while working (including Mom), helping with kitchen/laundry duty, etc. can relieve your stress (eventually). And knowing that they are growing into responsible young adults in the BLINK of an eye! Now mine are 10yo to 21yo, and I have LOTS of free time (in between deep discussions about all sorts of life issues) and plenty of help with the chores. It just took awhile . . . ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRG Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 We don't have family that is willing to watch our kids. Maybe that is my problem- no breaks. I'm sorry. My mom and dad surprised me by asking to take the baby a couple times of week. It has definitely helped and made a big difference on how I feel at the end of the day/week. I'm still worn out at the end of the week but thankful for that break. Do you have a daily quiet time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsingscrapper Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Breaks are important. I schedule two weeks at Christmas and various other breaks during the year. We go year around, though. During the summer months, once the heat sets in, we dial it back to math and reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeghanL Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I guess I try to keep myself based in reality. :) Sitting by myself for years on end doing nothing ceased to be an option when I chose to get married and even more so when I chose to have kids. Going back to work with your kids in private school will not allow you to have time alone doing nothing either. So, make the most of the life you have in the situation you have. If you are missing some alone time, carve out some alone time on a daily basis. Maybe after the kids go to bed (?) or earlier in the morning. Whatever is the cause of feeling unfulfilled or overburdened, find that source and focus on fixing that. But also try to keep your expectations realistic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I understand. I am going away with my dh for 5 days for the first time in 4 years. I feel totally worn down. One thing that I tend to do is to send all the kids outside when lessons are done so that I can sit alone or clean alone. It helps a bit. I also try to clean up before bed so that I can get up early and sit alone in a neat clean spot and read my bible before the day begins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverMoon Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I've found it very important to find something that will recharge me where I'm at, which is in a home full of children. Sewing, knitting, reading, things like that. I begin with the expectation that I'll probably be interrupted, and sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised. Take vacations. 6 weeks on 1 week off is a good pattern for us. Celebrate holidays and milestones. Alcohol can have a calming effect at the end of hard days. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I have made a concerted effort in the last 5 years to be "present". Just here, doing writing, or math, or whatever, and not worrying about the five other places I need to be, the laundry not getting done, the dishes on the counter. If I start to let go of being present - of being in the "now" - I get very overwhelmed. I do make lists - Once I write something down I can usually walk away from thinking about it until I have time to actually do something about it. Thinking about tomorrow, or an hour from now, when there is NOTHING you can do about it in the "now" causes nothing but stress. Do one thing - in the present - and do it well. Give it your full attention - and you'll find that you can focus and relax a bit more. Hang in there :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 We haven't been at this too long but I can get the overwhelmed feeling since I'm a strong introvert and I have two kids that never...shut...up. I'm going to institute quiet time every day this year. The kids finally have separate bedrooms so I can send them to their own rooms to play and not worry about them fighting with each other. I'm going to use this time to exercise, read, have a cup of tea, whatever. We take breaks whenever the rest of life gets too hectic. The past couple of weeks since dh was in china and dd just moved into a dorm and we were switching around bedrooms. Christmas is another time we usually take at least a couple weeks off. I may do a week where we go on lots of field trips, even if it's just to the free nature place to walk around. About once a month dh takes the kids to visit his parents for the weekend. I usually spend this time doing deep cleaning that is hard to do with the kids underfoot. I've also used it to have mother/daughter weekends with my oldest, to go away with my mother or whatever strikes my interest at the moment. Could your dh take the kids even for a day and go out and do something with them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 We haven't been at this too long but I can get the overwhelmed feeling since I'm a strong introvert and I have two kids that never...shut...up. I don't know how this happened, but dh and I, both extreme introverts had 4 kids...THREE of whom are introverts. And yes, they never hush. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenC3 Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Well I try not to forget what NEEDS to be done. Reading Writing Grammar Math History and Science are self taught subjects with me as a facilitator. READ boks and watch fun videos. This means I get to do all the fun field trips to living history places and science museums, etc. Love it! Latin and Greek are getting attention, although not hard core. Music= lessons, composer videos, and no popular music. We are adding concerts into our schedule this year. Art. DVD curriculum! Love this! Worth every penny. I buy the stuff and they do it! I say great job, no stress! Teaching my dd to cook involves me supervising and she reading directions and asking questions. She had breakfast ready today while I dozed through making my tea. EVERYBODY does chores and plays outside a LOT. If weather is not permitting we have quiet time. I also have someone come and clean every 2 weeks to help with the load. I won't do a co-op until 7 or 8th grade. Right now I'm typing and kids are out playing and it's VERY quiet:) It may be your kid's ages that is making things difficult. It may be high expectations, too many activities, or not enough Mommy time. Figure out what the core issues are and fix them. If you need a break and someone to clean, get a part time job on the weekend. Two birds with one stone. Use more computer school for a year. Spend more time having them read. A few months of non-conventional (for you) homeschooling won't hurt them. :grouphug: And even if you mostly have it figured out, you'll have a bad day. This is our 5th yr. I have a 4, 6, and 9 yr old and I'm pg. Monday I wanted everyone to go to school;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Susan Wise Bauer on quiet time: It's a life saver. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Dh understands that I need time to decompress. He is able to come home for lunch and I always go grab a coke at Sonic then. When he gets home in the evening I take 30 min. to sit outside and read. He understands that I have to have that time or my head might explode. It helps me keep from getting so overloaded that I can't stand it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 When I start to get burned out, it helps me to plan a fun, but simple field trip. I have found that having something to look forward to makes the "regular" days a bit easier. Just did this yesterday. It's so nice to get out of the house and have fun with and/or without kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 We do six weeks on, one week off. I'm ready for the week off next week. Days away, a supportive dh who lets me get away by myself, like to the walking trails or even just to putz around the store. Quiet time, necessary. A certain flexibility to call a time out. There are days when I just tell dh to bring home pizza and I'm going to bed early. When ds was little dh would take over evening stuff to help out. A hobby that is mine, not related to homeschooling, not expensive (because of our budget) and something that can mostly be done at home. I also got over feeling guilty because he might watch TV or play video games all day at least once on that one week off. Part of it is me time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Honestly, I treat myself to something like Starbucks when I'm having a hard time. I give myself a mental talking to and try to find the good in the situation. I simply have no choice about homeschooling my son right now. I'm feeling quite burned out and am enjoying this week because it's a vacation week. Hopefully I'll feel renewed enough to tackle his school days next week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Kick everyone outside for a few hours. Take a week (or two or three) off every few weeks. I was really burned out during Lent this year, between my classes, kids classes, homeschooling, so we just floated from then through the summer, I did what we HAD to do and no more. By Sept I couldn't WAIT to start. Not only because I had found the energy and excitement to, but to have routine to our days...bliss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I am physically and mentally tired. I want to be alone all day in my clean house. We are entering our 6th year of homeschooling with 15 more to go. :tongue_smilie: Where do you find the strength to keep up the frantic pace of homeschooling? - By frantic, I mean anything more that me sitting quietly alone for years on end. I like being by myself. Public school will not ever be an option. If we put the kids in private school, I will need to go back to work. What strategies to you use to keep going? I don't know what others have written as I don't have the time to read it all but I will share what I do. I take time off. YUP! when I get to feeling over run/ behind in everything I take some time. Most of the time it is a day or two but I have taken a wk or more if I need that to accomplish what needs done. I can then go back to homeschooling feeling refreshed and ready to once again instruct. I couldn't do this if I didn't allow myself this privilege. Neither public nor private school is an option for us for many reasons. We do school pretty much year around. We start in middle of August and go through the middle of July. Our life is full of Dr appointments so this can easily take a day a wk, some times more. We take a wk at Thanksgiving and 2-3 wks at Christmas(This yr it will be 2 I am thinking. I also plan a wk at Easter. If I feel I need it I take it, if not my kids don't know I had it planned in.:D This works great for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted September 13, 2012 Author Share Posted September 13, 2012 My kids are 3,5,8,10. What do you do if you don't have family to take your kids or you have a husband that works 12-14 hours a day, as my husband does? On weekends, he is doing work on the house, currently remodeling a bathroom that needed repair. I guess I am just venting, I don't see a way to change at this point in my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I try to keep up with my hobbies. If I am doing something I like, I am happier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 My kids are 3,5,8,10. What do you do if you don't have family to take your kids or you have a husband that works 12-14 hours a day, as my husband does? On weekends, he is doing work on the house, currently remodeling a bathroom that needed repair. I guess I am just venting, I don't see a way to change at this point in my life. Movie day! Would they all sit still for a movie if you make some popcorn and instruct them to not move until the movie is over? Then you sit in another room for some alone time? Obviously I'm not advocating this as a daily routine, but a once a week movie time seems perfectly reasonable to me. Could your DH just watch the kids for 1 hour on the weekend? When my kids were young, I would leave the house to just browse B&N for an hour and it was a nice little break. Some time with Dad would be great for the kids too. Their memories shouldn't be of dad working all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlktwins Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I have made a concerted effort in the last 5 years to be "present". Just here, doing writing, or math, or whatever, and not worrying about the five other places I need to be, the laundry not getting done, the dishes on the counter.If I start to let go of being present - of being in the "now" - I get very overwhelmed. I do make lists - Once I write something down I can usually walk away from thinking about it until I have time to actually do something about it. Thinking about tomorrow, or an hour from now, when there is NOTHING you can do about it in the "now" causes nothing but stress. Do one thing - in the present - and do it well. Give it your full attention - and you'll find that you can focus and relax a bit more. Hang in there :grouphug: :iagree:, but I am not good at this yet. I work on it every day though :tongue_smilie:. I have 7 year old twins and have felt exhausted since they were born -- LOL. It is getting better though (finding time to myself) now that they are getting older. I think it will get even better as time goes on. I do have my in-laws and my dad that give me several hours to myself a week. The in-laws take them occasionally for an overnight. I will sit and watch a 1/2 hour or 1 long show. Will read a book. Work on purging/organizing something that needs to be done. I would love to spend my time editing photographs and doing scrapbooks. That doesn't get done though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MommaOfalotta Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Great thread:lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I'm also an introvert. Being with my kids all day sucks the life out of me. (I love them, and I'm glad we homeschool, but I'm also being honest!) Quite Time saves me. We have it nearly every day after lunch. I need them to just not be talking to me or at me. I also use it as 'independent reading time' for them, so I don't feel like it is a total waste. Also, 'Movie Time' is a great idea. And personally, I don't have a problem with having 'Movie Time' every day. :blushing: I know, how horrible am I... But, sometimes you have to do what you have to do. We just went through 2 1/2 weeks of 'no technology' for the kids, and I told my husband that he was really just punishing me. He doesn't get it at all. FWIW, while I only have 3 kids, we have always lived far from family, so no one shows up knocking on my door offering to give me a break. And, my husband has always worked odd/crazy hours. We had years when we barely saw him. I get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thefragile7393 Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I don't know. I have so many things going on that it is hard to find the stamina to hs, work, clean, cook, my own schooling......It is just...difficult. I don't want to sound like I am complaining, as I know I am fortunate to have a schedule that permits homeschooling. Still... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I think pacing is key. Knowing when to back off and have a read-aloud day, or just go to the park or beach. :iagree: I also try to be flexible so that when we really need everyone to pitch in to clean the house, we have a light school day and clean the house together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 :iagree:, but I am not good at this yet. I work on it every day though :tongue_smilie:. I don't think I'll ever be "good" at it :) I have to constantly remind myself, lol. Well - about every 15 minutes or so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SorrelZG Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 (edited) Also, I figured out that I needed to understand my own strengths and weaknesses and style of homeschooling and work with it. Doing something, no matter how great, that goes directly against my grain takes absurdly more energy than doing something more natural to me to achieve the same end goal. Seems obvious but it appears to be an easy trap to fall into. Edited September 14, 2012 by SCGS personal details; hope some of it was helpful, though :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Honestly? I just remind myself that it's better than any alternative to which we have access. Every year or so, I get tired and stressed and start making noises about looking at school. Then my husband asks lovely leading questions about how much I think our son would learn in a school environment and whether I think the kid would be happy . . . And I sigh and admit that homeschooling, for this particular kid, is the "least worst" option. I take an evening off to go browse the bookstore or maybe go to a movie by myself, and then I get back to work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Does your DH come home for dinner? As misanthropic as it sounds, I often eat dinner alone. Now I would never do this if I worked or the kids went to school or any other circumstance where we were apart all day and this was our re-connection time. But most days we've been together for 12 hours or more by then. I feel guilty, but it also helps me with my sanity. I sometimes make dinner, sometimes DH or both of us. When dinner is ready I eat in the living room while enjoying a book or video on the computer. DH takes the kids and gets them through dinner and clears the table with them.Then I do supplements for all and he does dishes, then he gets the kid ready for bed and tucked in. He also reads their bedtime story. Then I stay up for more quiet time, 2-4 hours. So basically once DH is home I'm really just involved with dinner prep and getting supplements into the family. Otherwise I'm "off" till morning. Also see my post earlier in this thread about SWB and quiet time. I think that's how she kept her sanity while schooling 3 kids, writing a book, and teaching at a college level. For your situation, it sounds like the 10 yo could help dad with the work on the house, at least getting you down to 3 kids on the weekends? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I find my stamina by not trying to do a whole bunch of things at once. School time is for school time. Housecleaning time is for housecleaning. Break time is for breaks. Exercise time is for exercise. Self-education time is for self-education. I've been using my routine for almost a full year now, varying it for the change in the seasons. I don't feel fatigued anymore, everyone is easier in their temper, the house gets cleaned, more meals get cooked and all of us are much better rested by the fact that our routine starts around 6:30 and ends at 9:00. It would bore most people to death I suppose. But I get a lot done, and I don't feel exhausted at the end of the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I am physically and mentally tired. I want to be alone all day in my clean house. We are entering our 6th year of homeschooling with 15 more to go. :tongue_smilie: Where do you find the strength to keep up the frantic pace of homeschooling? - By frantic, I mean anything more that me sitting quietly alone for years on end. I like being by myself. Public school will not ever be an option. If we put the kids in private school, I will need to go back to work. What strategies to you use to keep going? Still trying to figure this out myself! We start our sixth year in four days, and I'm SO not ready--mentally, physically, or planning-wise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 We're in year 6 with 15-16 years to go. All I have is this hope that things will smooth out as the baby gets older. If I'm fooling myself, I don't care. It's what I hang on to! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 My three children are all sleeping now, and have been since around 3:00 pm. :D They'll wake up (slowly) in about 15 minutes. Yes, (nearly) every day they have a two hour nap. My husband is sleeping now, too, BTW. ;) But I do not take a nap. Instead, their Nap Time is my Quiet Time. The children still go to bed at 8:00 pm and sleep until 7:00 am every night, so it's working for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I have a computer in a room that's not the main play area, and I ask for (ok demand) a certain amount of alone time each day. I've also been known to hide in my room to read. I am an introvert so that alone time is essential to recharge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted September 13, 2012 Author Share Posted September 13, 2012 My three children are all sleeping now, and have been since around 3:00 pm. :D They'll wake up (slowly) in about 15 minutes. Yes, (nearly) every day they have a two hour nap. My husband is sleeping now, too, BTW. ;) But I do not take a nap. Instead, their Nap Time is my Quiet Time. The children still go to bed at 8:00 pm and sleep until 7:00 am every night, so it's working for us. AMAZING! My stop napping at 2.5. Even a 15 snooze equals a 11:00 pm bedtime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SorrelZG Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Another thing that is proving essential to my survival (in case I missed it being mentioned already) is habit formation - theirs and mine. The better our habits, the less time and energy everything takes. It's never convenient at the time but the hard work and time spent is well invested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificent_baby Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I know how you feel. So physically exhausted, I was wondering if something was medically wrong. A few things that have helped me: Brand new pillows Removing the waterproof mattress protector (bed was too hot) Forcing myself to go to bed earlier Eating more protein Praying Shower before bed to relax my muscles Hiding in my bedroom with door locked, watching a little TV after a long day of schooling Putting all their books and materials in milk crates, and setting them next to me, while I am at one table. Calling 1-2 kids over to the table at a time to ME, instead of me running from place to place all day, to get to them. Taking kids out to lunch today re-energized me and I was able to focus this afternoon I literally went from not being able to keep my eyes open late afternoon, to feeling so much better with these few changes. I also wonder if it is because I went from going to the pool several times a week in the summer, to suddenly being in the house all day once we started. I think the lack of sunshine has affected me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I am physically and mentally tired. I want to be alone all day in my clean house. We are entering our 6th year of homeschooling with 15 more to go. :tongue_smilie: Where do you find the strength to keep up the frantic pace of homeschooling? - By frantic, I mean anything more that me sitting quietly alone for years on end. I like being by myself. Public school will not ever be an option. If we put the kids in private school, I will need to go back to work. What strategies to you use to keep going? Can you enlist the help of your Dc and clean one room a week. Then just assign your oldest to maintain it daily while you move to the next room to clean? Then you will have several peaceful areas in your home where you can go while you give your Dc down time or free time daily in their own rooms so that you can have some quiet. Start at 1/2 hr and build to 1 hr. Is there a park you can take them to for a long walk or running around playtime? Do that before you give them quiet time. That should help them get out some energy first. When I start to feel as you describe, it helps me to brainstorm ways to deal with the things I find most overwhelming. Then if I can come up with a plan, I feel better--especially once I start setting it in motion. Maybe you need to make the clean house a big priority right now until you are feeling better. You could do just the basics with the oldest 2 and spend a couple of hours on cleaning each day. Think of ways your 2 youngest can help with simple things like dusting, pretending to be a vacuum cleaner. Give them their own checklists to work on. Plan a treat for when you are finished. Maybe a 1/2 hr favorite TV show, a special snack. Get creative. List the most important things that are bothering you and start coming up with ways to make them happen regardless of your limitations. Maybe the hive can help, once you have that list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 AMAZING! My stop napping at 2.5. Even a 15 snooze equals a 11:00 pm bedtime.Yeah, I think they have my husband's genes! I like to say he has a low/no-motion sensor, and when he finally stops moving, he's ASLEEP! In 0.03 seconds flat. My FIL calls it sleep-on-demand (SOD) and says my husband has been doing that since he was a baby. Obviously, my three have the SOD gene. :lol: Well.... if naps won't work at your house, ;) here are some other ideas: Play the "This Is Better than That" Game Let's suppose that you don't sleep well one night, and in the morning you are completely exhausted. Your children are (a) reading, (b) creatively crafting, © actively playing, and/or (d) imaginatively pretending. The public school bus rolls by, and you say to yourself, "This may not look like an 'ideal school day,' but (for these children, for this season) this is better than that." Or you are in the middle of a lesson, and the children are draining you dry. You say, "Put everything away! Go to the bathroom, put on your shoes, and get in the van!" Then you go to a park and let them plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy, while you reorganize your inner self. When they come to you, give them a warm hug and a kiss and then say, "Go play, have fun!" Then smile to yourself and know you've successfully avoided a Mother's Meltdown Moment, and say, "This is better than that." I do this often, can you tell? :D Teach Your Children that You Are One Person There are times when I will say to one or more of my children, "Mommy loves you (hug). I think you are wonderful (kiss, kiss). I am so glad you are God's gift to me (hug, kiss, squeeze). Now go play. I am having some time to think." They survive this. In fact, I think it sets them free from thinking that I have to direct every moment of their days. I will say, "School is done. Go play. Go." And if they are clingy, I do assess/address that. Ha (5.5) needs a snuggle. Ma (also 5.5) probably needs food and/or beverage. She's a grump when hungry, tired, or thirsty. Sa (7.5) needs assurance of her angelic wonderfulness. :Angel_anim: I am still just one person. My husband travels for work, can be gone for weeks at a time, and I get tired, believe it or not. So... "Go play. With each other. That's why I had three of you." :lol: They are not scarred for life, really. Recharging allows me to come back and parent them some more, KWIM? Encourage Your Children to Nurture You The introvert/philosopher in me would go up on a mountain to meditate, but... well, that's not the life I've truly chosen, is it? But sometimes I think parents can get overly-focused on their role in meeting the child's needs. How about encouraging our children to love us back? :001_wub: My girls massage my head (puts me right to SLEEP), comb my hair and "fix it up" -- I should post a pic of that, you'd all get a laugh. The Great Salon Disaster. They bring my slippers. They rub my feet. They bring cold water. They bring warm blankets. I am not kidding. And I never ask them to do these things, we've just created a climate for Pampering Mommy. It's wonderful! I highly recommend it. :D And finally... Read Unschooling Blogs & Websites Seriously, you will feel better. I know I always do. :leaving: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I put my stuff on the schedule and then I add in the extra curric. stuff. I need to have time to exercise and I need a night off (no cooking, no kids, just me, myself, and I) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MicheleinMN Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 My kids are 3,5,8,10. What do you do if you don't have family to take your kids or you have a husband that works 12-14 hours a day, as my husband does? On weekends, he is doing work on the house, currently remodeling a bathroom that needed repair. I guess I am just venting, I don't see a way to change at this point in my life. I was a lot like you. I gave into screen time for my children in order to keep my sanity. At 3 pm daily, they were allowed a children's show or video. I went in my room, closed my door, and decompressed. My husband worked 10 hour days, usually 6 days a week. We had (have) no relatives nearby. I did not leave my children with sitters. I still have a hard time getting away. I would prefer to be home alone. (I've been in this house almost 20 years, and I have been alone in it twice. Really.) I HAVE to have some quiet time. HAVE to have it! I hope you find a way to get some down time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 On days like today, I wonder if I do have the stamina. But I just put one foot in front of the other, and carried on. And once school was done, I let kids have some screen time and I took a much needed nap. I don't hit a wall everyday but if I do, I try to put on my oxygen mask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizaG Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 Also, I figured out that I needed to understand my own strengths and weaknesses and style of homeschooling and work with it. Doing something, no matter how great, that goes directly against my grain takes absurdly more energy than doing something more natural to me to achieve the same end goal. Seems obvious but it appears to be an easy trap to fall into. :iagree: I was just thinking today that we could use a book like What Color is Your Parachute for homeschooling parents. It would be a nice change from all the ones about children's learning styles (which never seem to fit my children anyway). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 I'm not creative with this. I just remind myself that adults sometimes wish they could do something else. I remind myself that there will be an end. I'm in my 13th year with six more to go after this one. It passes pretty fast, really. I've had a tyring day -- week really. We covered all subject, I made dinner, checked work, checked corrections, oversaw piano practice, paid withholding taxes on employees, balanced business checking account, corrected mistakes dh made in the checkbook (I'm having to do more of this as he is slipping), made boys do chores and clean up house. When they are done playing Monopoly, I need to vacuum and then hover until they get ready for bed. It really never ends. Or, it feels that way. Then, I'll watch a couple Criminal Minds episodes with a glass of Cabernet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted September 14, 2012 Author Share Posted September 14, 2012 I know how you feel. So physically exhausted, I was wondering if something was medically wrong. A few things that have helped me: Brand new pillows Removing the waterproof mattress protector (bed was too hot) Forcing myself to go to bed earlier Eating more protein Praying Shower before bed to relax my muscles Hiding in my bedroom with door locked, watching a little TV after a long day of schooling Putting all their books and materials in milk crates, and setting them next to me, while I am at one table. Calling 1-2 kids over to the table at a time to ME, instead of me running from place to place all day, to get to them. Taking kids out to lunch today re-energized me and I was able to focus this afternoon I literally went from not being able to keep my eyes open late afternoon, to feeling so much better with these few changes. I also wonder if it is because I went from going to the pool several times a week in the summer, to suddenly being in the house all day once we started. I think the lack of sunshine has affected me. I absolutely need to go to bed earlier. I am staying up until midnight just to have some peace and quiet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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