Celia Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Doesn't bug me at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I don't care if my kids say heck. I discipline them, but not for things that I think are fine. This thread is reminding me of an Archie comic when I was a kid where he called someone a louse because he had been griped at for saying jerk or something, then the other kids made fun of him. I cannot stand kids who gripe at me and my kids for saying words that are perfectly acceptable to most people. If you don't like it, at least have the sense to teach the difference between heck and an actual swear word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 not my favorite word for my kids to use, but i don't find it cringe worthy. like anything, it has to do with tone. did the child say, "oh heck, this is slippery" with a smile ...or... what the heck is wrong with you!!" with a growl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyJoy Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 No "heck" in our vocabulary here. "Oh, man" and "rats" and "argh" with the occasional accidental "shoot" are as wild as we get.:001_smile: I ignored "heck" from my jr. high students and focused my attention on friggin', freakin', sh*t, and crap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyJoy Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 not my favorite word for my kids to use, but i don't find it cringe worthy. like anything, it has to do with tone. did the child say, "oh heck, this is slippery" with a smile ...or... what the heck is wrong with you!!" with a growl :iagree:But I would cringe if it was directed at a person in the "What the heck is wrong with you?" vein. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paintedlady Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 No, don't let mine say, "heck", or "O my gosh", or any of the other "almost" swear words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Doesn't bother me in the slightest. Heck, one of the book series we have is Heck. :D There are some words I do ask the girls not to use when we're out, but "heck" isn't one of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I know my 3yo has said it a couple times. We quote movies excessively, and I know I often say, "The heck you say!", quoting Kermit from "Muppet Family Christmas". I don't think I've used the "major" swear words since I was a dispatcher, pre-kids, but we use a lot of slang words here. DS2 walked into a door frame the other day and I asked him if the door pwned him in the face. He knew what I meant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 It doesn't bother me. Cursing doesn't bother me either unless it is excessive or completely pointless. We embrace all manner of language in our home. (not for delicate ears) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 :iagree:But I would cringe if it was directed at a person in the "What the heck is wrong with you?" vein. me too, but not because of heck. it's rude with or without it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer L Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 It wouldn't occur to me to be bothered by "heck." In fact, when DS7 was in public school, it annoyed me that they made EVERYTHING into a "bad word." Shut up. Stupid. Dumb. Crap. Butt. Okay, fine, maybe these aren't NICE words to use with people, but they're not cuss words. Telling kids that perfectly valid words are curse words when they're not just bugs me. :iagree::iagree: Some words aren't nice words but they're not swearing. My kids have used heck before and it doesn't bother me. Especially when I hear what some other kids their ages are saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acablue Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I don't think I've heard anyone say the word "heck" in about 5 years, but it wouldn't bother me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer L Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 me too, but not because of heck. it's rude with or without it. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I don't think I would let my children say "What the -anything-." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 We embrace all manner of language in our home. Same here. It ain't gonna rain no mo', no mo'.... is now running through my head.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deacongirl Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I say it. My children say it. One was saying it at age 3. I have been too busy trying to figure out if the 4 year old with a speech issue is saying "d@mn it" to bother with a non-swear word. :tongue_smilie: ha--we have exactly the same issue here, lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 We embrace all manner of language in our home. (not for delicate ears) That was fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 :iagree: ha! One of mine does that too! We found it very funny that closed captioning does it too. We were watching Hell's Kitchen and I had muted the tv to take a phone call. Our tv automatic,y switches to closed captioning when you hit mute. So we see the scrolling diatribe of Chef Ramsey. "what the BLEEP and you Bleep bleep bleep doing with the bleep bleep sauce in this bleep bleep bleep kitchen you bleep?!":lol: :lol::lol: Not even on my radar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I thought that I was strict when it came to words....but heck doesn't even phase me. I say it all the time. My kids were saying it when they were 3 and 4. Same with dang. My 5 year old said "dang it" this morning and I didn't even blink. The best is when she says "What in tarnation??!!!" though LOL. My kids are not allowed to call names....at all. No dumb, stupid, idiot, etc. Not even shut up. Those words have never come from their mouths. I just think that they are rude. And fart. We don't fart...we toot. :tongue_smilie: I also don't like crude words such as crap (crud is okay)....or crude words for body parts either. My kids are pretty innocent in the fact that they have no idea that cuss words even exist. They've never heard one so I've never had to explain those words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 heck doesn't bother me, even as a replacement. The boys use it sometimes. Heck, their homeschool friends use it. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 For me, calling someone a name is a different thing. You're not allowed to call anyone a name or say mean things, regardless of how politely you do it. But using words in annoyance or for emphasis? Heck, that's fine, as long as you've gauged your audience as not being uptight about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Had no clue the word "heck" would offend anyone until I read this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Had no clue the word "heck" would offend anyone until I read this thread. You must not live in the Bible-belt! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 We embrace all manner of language in our home. (not for delicate ears) I love Stephen Fry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I have no problem with it or with any other substitutes. My dd, SIL and grandson came for a visit this weekend. They didn't tell him where they were going, just put him in the car and headed down the road. When he got here he was quite surprised and as soon as he came in the house, he said, "What the heck?" Just as cute as can be. I have to admit I am sometime quite surprised at what some people consider inappropriate language. Frequnetly they are words I would never give a second thought to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 It's been several hours since I first read and responded to this thread and I STILL can't stop shaking my head in absolute astonishment. Heck is even the *tiniest* bit questionable and offensive to some people? I'm floored. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I find "what on earth?" to be a nice substitute. But then, I have a Tintin reader who shocked all the neighbor kids when he was 5 by saying"billions of blue blistering barnacles!" to express the "wth" emotion. I was fortunate enough to see their faces--they totally thought he'd just said something REALLY bad. :D 4. I love this! I don't have an issue with heck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GingerPoppy Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 It wouldn't occur to me to be bothered by "heck." In fact, when DS7 was in public school, it annoyed me that they made EVERYTHING into a "bad word." Shut up. Stupid. Dumb. Crap. Butt. Okay, fine, maybe these aren't NICE words to use with people, but they're not cuss words. Telling kids that perfectly valid words are curse words when they're not just bugs me. Totally agree. Like, what the heck are they thinkin'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I actually do live in the Bible belt but was not raised here. I also live in a more liberal enclave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canadianmumof5 Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 It isn't one of my favourites to hear from the kids so I do discourage it - it just sounds too close to "what the H-E double hockey sticks". But it doesn't get said that often around here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBS Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I LOVE when a kid uses some creative, odd word to express release you'd use a curse like "Oh, cookies, mocha-muffin, butter-beans, poppycock, goober peas, good garden seed". I battled it out over ugly, nasty words, too, so the hecks and darns got lost in the shuffle. I don't remember my kids cursing when they were 3-4-5-6-7 so much. I think I was more concentrating on HOW it was said. You know, you can say in a playful, joking manner "go to hell" and it sounds like "get out of here". However you can look someone in the eye, and snarl "go to hell" and it means just that. Mean. The tone of voice one delivers the words, can be amazingly more hurtful/harmful, I guess. My kids focused on that, so that was the field upon which I had to battle it out. In the country where we live, older folks say a$$, as the the same kind of word as "bottom". It took me a while to convince my mother-in-law, a very polite lady, to not use that word around my kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Heck doesn't bother me. We don't use stupid, idiot, fart, things like that. But heck wouldn't bother me. And I will come clean and fully admit that the girls have heard worse out of my mouth. :tongue_smilie: Not often!! On occasion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 I think it is a word that has as much power as you choose to give it. It wouldn't register as an issue if I heard your four year old say it. It doesn't bother me. Cursing doesn't bother me either unless it is excessive or completely pointless. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Had no clue the word "heck" would offend anyone until I read this thread. You must not live in the Bible-belt! :001_smile: We had a family drop out of our co-op because one of the 5yo kids in her class exclaimed, This sucks! Yes he learned it at home; the 5yo's mom admitted she used the phrase and didn't see what the big deal was. But the other mom was extremely offended and decided not to continue with the group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted May 30, 2012 Share Posted May 30, 2012 Heck no, doesn't bother me at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 Heck is on their "word list" In fact we sing with it how can you sing "how in the heck can I wash my neck" without that word. My dad used to sing that song! Even my mother, who was old fashioned enough to serve every dinner on china, silver, and linen, and who was old enough to have married during the Depression, would say ah, heck when something went bad. Language changes. We had a thread about this not long ago, and I hold the radical belief that 150 years of common usage gets you out of "minced oath" territory, radical faddist that I am. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick_Mom Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 I started being daring and saying "heck" when I was about 10. It was clearly pushing the envelope. I felt very rebellious and edgy. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 (edited) My dad used to sing that song! Even my mother, who was old fashioned enough to serve every dinner on china, silver, and linen, and who was old enough to have married during the Depression, would say ah, heck when something went bad. Language changes. We had a thread about this not long ago, and I hold the radical belief that 150 years of common usage gets you out of "minced oath" territory, radical faddist that I am. ;) This quote from Wikipedia is pretty funny: It is common to find minced oaths in literature. Writers sometimes face the problem of portraying characters who swear, and often include minced oaths instead of profanity in their writing so that they will not offend audiences or incur censorship. Somerset Maugham referred to this problem in his 1919 novel The Moon and Sixpence, where he admitted: Strickland, according to Captain Nichols, did not use exactly the words I have given, but since this book is meant for family reading, I thought it better — at the expense of truth — to put into his mouth language familiar to the domestic circle. Edited May 31, 2012 by Mrs Mungo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iucounu Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 OP, I don't think you're going overboard, since you have certain boundaries that are appropriate for you and your children. I'm just happy to have weaned DS6 off the F word (long story). I remember one day at a local park, when a mother came over to me and announced that DS-then-4-or-5 had said, "What the hell". I stared blankly at her, which prompted her to say that she thought she should bring it to my attention. I mumbled something like "Kids will be kids!", which didn't seem to mollify her in the slightest. It could be far more vulgar than "heck". But again, I certainly don't fault you in any way and I get where you're coming from. Some folks would probably find my foul-mouthed little heathen charming, but others would be shocked, and that's not necessarily a good thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 I I'm floored. I was floored a few months back, too. But my heck-saying mother also used to say: takes all kinds to make the world go round. I'm such a daredevil, I insist on using "gay" to mean happy in a lilting way, "niggardly" to mean cheap, "pussy cat" to mean a felis domesticus, an "erection" to mean a construction, an "ejaculation" to mean a sudden spurt of speech, and "spinach" to mean B.S., a la the famous E.B. White cartoon of the 1930s (which minces no oaths). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 I live in the Bible Belt, always have, and I didn't know, until this thread, that some people find "heck" an offensive word. Interesting. I can often be heard saying, "What the crap?" My kids say heck, darn, dang, crap, etc. It's never crossed my mind to care. They are allowed to say stupid, dumb, etc as well, just not directed at another person. *Disclaimer: My children have heard every "real" curse word, with the exception of the one involving the Lord's name, from yours truly. Hey, I never said I was perfect. :tongue_smilie: I'm a work in progress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 I don't allow my dc to use "tweaked" swear words (dang, gosh, heck, freak, etc.). To me it sounds bad no matter what the age of the person. ;) :001_huh: "gosh" is a tweaked swear word? Explain please? Seriously. I've never heard that before. You must not live in the Bible-belt! :001_smile: I do and people around here say "heck" all the time. I don't like it, but on the rare occasion that one of my children has said it after hearing it somewhere else, I don't make a big deal of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 We had a family drop out of our co-op because one of the 5yo kids in her class exclaimed, This sucks! Yes he learned it at home; the 5yo's mom admitted she used the phrase and didn't see what the big deal was. But the other mom was extremely offended and decided not to continue with the group. Awwww geez, that sucks. For her. :tongue_smilie: I say that all the time and I don't see it as a big deal because it isn't a big deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick_Mom Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 :001_huh: "gosh" is a tweaked swear word? Explain please? Seriously. I've never heard that before. This is what I was taught as a kid -- that 'gosh' was a tamer way of saying "God." And "geez" was a tamer way of saying "Jesus." I was taught this by my mother, who had strict rules about her kids' language but swore like a sailor herself. It was quite a disconnect the first day I heard her drop an f-bomb. Some things you just don't expect a mother to do. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawna in Texas Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 If only my children would say heck more often. Luckily, my 4yo stopped putting words after "What the...". Now she just leaves it up for others to interpret. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 (edited) Here are my observations and experiences after spending my entire life living across the Bible-belt: Some people like to be offended; it is just how they are wired. They wander though life looking for a reason to be upset with service providers, in-laws, and on and on. These people are found in all groups, faith or otherwise, because this trait is just a part of human nature. (And if the stories on this board are to be believed this is not just happening in the Bible-belt. :) ) In several denominations around here you can find sub-groups of people who have a list of things that offends them because they believe them to be ungodly or tied directly to an enumerated sin. Most of these people are very nice and will only cluck quietly or silently shake their head over others exhibiting the behaviors on their list. However I have had the experience that when a person from the first group is also a part of the second group................:eek:! You can also find random people out side of the two above groups that are offended by minced oaths. My observation, however, is they largely fall in the above groups. ETA- I just want to be clear that not caring for/using minced oaths is not the same as being offended by them. I really should caffeinate better before I post! Edited May 31, 2012 by BLA5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiniBlondes Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 (edited) In our house we have a list of 'undesirable words'. They are words that are not necessarily profane, but that don't sound good coming out of little girls mouths. They include heck, dumb, stupid, suck, shut up, God (in the slang way such as OMG), freaking, fart, etc. There are more but I can't think of them all right now. It doesn't bother me so much when I hear other kids say them. It all started when my oldest was very young and she would look up at me all perfect and innocent and say a word that just didn't sound right coming out of her mouth. Over the years I have added to that list. They don't get in trouble or anything. I just wince and try to redirect them to a different word. To each his/her own, I suppose. :) Edited May 31, 2012 by MiniBlondes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwin Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 The other day I got to the grocery store, realized I forgotten my wallet. I try to swallow the nasty things I want to say, when I hear my 6yo from the backseat say "Frickety frick frick frick?" as if he is helping out and supplying me with the right words. Because apparently I say that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted June 1, 2012 Share Posted June 1, 2012 The other day I got to the grocery store, realized I forgotten my wallet. I try to swallow the nasty things I want to say, when I hear my 6yo from the backseat say "Frickety frick frick frick?" as if he is helping out and supplying me with the right words. Because apparently I say that. :lol: I've had a few shockers from the backseat, my favorite being, completely out of the blue, "I'm opposed to rape." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted June 1, 2012 Share Posted June 1, 2012 (edited) I would let them say heck. I think te older one knows the word but does not use it now at all. I of course am THAT mom who lets/would be ok with it if my kids swear, provided it is not in public and provided that they are not swearing AT someone. Language is language. We teach them to speak properly and with appropriate language but if they repeat something they hear we don't make a big deal out of it. That said, my youngest's only swear word were while pushing toy cars and saying "those d@mn drivers". He learned that from Grandpa. My 8 year old hates bad words and does not use them. Edited June 1, 2012 by kijipt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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