No TV or Computer before school work?

[BlueTaelon]

I hit my breaking point with the kids, I think its ridiculous that getting them to do school work is taking several hours of me yelling and nagging to get work done. A few days ago I put a CMOS boot password on all the computers in the house so they can't get up at heaven knows what hour in the morning to start playing games online then having to fight them to do there school work. So what did they do? Switched to the TV all day! So I blocked the inputs since no access to the WII means no games/Hulu/Netflix (we don't have cable). Today I have very unhappy kids, my 5 yr old even went as far as trying to get it on my phone! Am I being unreasonable in insisting no computer/TV before school work? I'm sick and tired of them goofing off all morning then getting mad at me and doing half aft work when the other kids get out of school and want to play and suddenly they want to get there work done in record time and its unacceptable work, I mean really unacceptable, like they would get better scores guessing. Its not that the work is to hard, they are just rushing and not paying attention.

[StephanieZ]

Absolutely reasonable.

 

We have that rule in my house. No TV/facebook/email/computer fun/etc until all school work for the day is done and done properly. If they did a poor job on their schoolwork, I'd simply take it all away for the week until all school work was done properly for the week.

 

I think it's nuts to let kids watch TV/etc during the school day. If they need a mental break, that is fine. They can get some exercise, play with the pets, etc. Screen time doesn't give them the mental and physical break they need during a long school day.

 

Plus, in my house, no screen time anywhere other kids can be distracted by it until ALL the kids are done. That means that if one kid is done, s/he can get their touch and use headphones with it, but no Wii in the family room until all the kids are free.

[shanvan]

We used to have that rule. Now the rule has changed slightly. They have to ask their father once he gets home if they are allowed computer & TV time. Then he will find out if the behavior & attitudes warrant it or not. It takes the burden off me and I don't have to be continually asked can I use it now?

 

We still haven't ironed out how it works when Dc has a long term assignment that needs to be completed. Sometimes they want to use the computer even if they have put no time in yet on the assignment. Then we're stuck wondering if we should force them to work on it first -- even if there is a week or more before it is due.

[curlylocks]

Absolutely reasonable.

 

We have that rule in my house. No TV/facebook/email/computer fun/etc until all school work for the day is done and done properly. If they did a poor job on their schoolwork, I'd simply take it all away for the week until all school work was done properly for the week.

 

I think it's nuts to let kids watch TV/etc during the school day. If they need a mental break, that is fine. They can get some exercise, play with the pets, etc. Screen time doesn't give them the mental and physical break they need during a long school day.

 

 

 

:iagree: -- and :grouphug: because it might be rough for a while until the children get used to the new rules. ;)

[*Inna*]

Not unreasonable at all.

 

We have the same problem. If the kids watch something on Netflix in the morning or play a video game, we're going to have a carpy school day. They have problem concentrating on their work, crabby, whiny etc.

[Julie Smith]

Sounds like your kids got into a bad habit. Perhaps you can put school on hold and work on screen detox and behavior before you re-add school to the mix.

 

If it was me this screen detox means good behavior and lots of chores completed and conversation about appropriate behavior before screen are allowed back. Even then it will only be on my terms.

 

For my kids a day of the above is usually all it takes to fix any problems. (I have only had to do it once or twice. But for some reason the kids usually thing that in future

1) good behavior and school followed by nice things is much better than

2) constant chores and lectures about behavior with the only break being naps in your own room or snuggles, and more discussions and family examples about why good behavior is the right choice.

 

Mind you, you are talking to the person who started the thread, "I'm grumpy".

[LadyMSews]

That's the way it works in our house. The first days are the hardest, just stick to your decision and keep calmly reminding them that when their schoolwork is done, then they can [whatever].

 

And actually, my dc have to do much more than just schoolwork before tv/wii/computer...they have to tidy their rooms, eat breakfast, do house chores, schoolwork and music practice. Usually its well into the afternoon before they are done. And even then, it's a limited time, because then dh comes home and we start the dinner process. Sometimes my 8yo ds doesn't get his wii turn until 7:30 pm.

 

Yep, I'm a mean mommy when I need to be. :)

[Bang!Zoom!]

Blue, I have one of these in my house. You know what I did?

 

I just took it away. Unplugged it all.

 

After about a week of detox (and I am *so* serious about that word) I let her have unlimited access for Khan, ALEKS and one science interest of hers.

 

I have a huge order in right now of I think about 50 spectrum books (the workbooks) coming in, along with some other summer programs.

 

When they get here, we go outside and stay outside, period. Nothing electronic in sight, I won't even take my Kindle with me, no phone, nothing.

 

This one of mine also is a total bear in academics. Once her motor revs, it is so absolutely awe-filled as an experience, but getting her up there is no easy thing. It can take me hours of battle at home to get her focus on.

 

So you know what I do?

 

We leave the house.

 

We go to the library, and I will not allow her a card there. The computer access thing is not acceptable out there, and we've done this for years now.

 

So she goes into the library, has total free reign, I take materials and my laptop, but with the same rules of only math and science on the screen EVER.

 

We have spent enormous amounts of time per week there, the work gets done, and she gets in the zone of books, finds things I'd never think she was interested in, builds stacks and stacks of this and that.

 

For this kid, it's the environment absolutely totally completely.

 

I can't reproduce the peace and focus of the library and what it gives her. I wish I could do it all at home, but the electronic issue is like the Great Wall of China for her.

 

If you took your kids out to the library for an afternoon, how is it for them out there?

 

I don't know if any small part of my solution would work for you, but just wanted to throw it out there with some background as well.

[fairfarmhand]

very reasonable.

 

Stick to your guns.

[Ellie]

Of course it's reasonable. In fact, it might be mandatory in situations where the dc seem to want it so badly. I might even suggest no screens at all for a few months.

 

When my dc were little, there weren't so many screens as there are now :) . My rule was that the dc could watch TV in the morning if they wanted, but only after they were dressed and had breakfast, and the TV had to be off by 9. No TV until 3, although turns out dc were either busy doing their own thing then, or we were out of the house. No TV during dinner (4:30ish). There was nothing worth watching until prime time, which is 8 p.m. on the left and right coasts, but since bedtime was between 7 and 8, no TV then, either.

[Ferdie]

very reasonable.

 

Stick to your guns.

 

:iagree: We have a password on our computer too. We even had to go as far as setting up a separate "school" account on our computer with no access to games, Facebook, Youtube etc.. That is the only computer access they have during the day. After all their school work and chores are done they can have access to the "play" account. We don't have TV stations or cable. We also lock away our Xbox gaming systems during the school year. It comes out during week long school breaks and for the summer.

Edited March 29, 2012 by Ferdie

[dirty ethel rackham]

You are absolutely NOT unreasonable. We have a no TV until after dinner rule in my household. The computers are supposed to be for school only until evenings. (Sometimes I catch them playing games on the computer, but, often it is to blow off steam while they are chewing on something from what they have read or an assignment they are pondering.)

 

When my kids were younger, we had a screen monster in our household. We had just moved, I was pregnant, exhausted, and had relied on the TV to babysit while I laid on the couch. My sweet little boys turned into whiny PITAs and they began to have an entitlement attitude toward "screens." So, we did a screen-free week. I unplugged all of the computers. We put the TV away. There were tears and gnashing of teeth for several days, but, they began to be more creative in their play and whined less and missed it less.

 

After our screen-free week, I put a limit on things and started a coupon system. They could only use the computer or TV in half-hour increments and got 1 hour a day, which could only be used after everyone was done with school. Also, they had to get permission before they could watch anything. We set timers (one with a 5 minute warning and one that indicated "turn it off now".) If they did not turn it off on time or if they went on things without permission, they lost all their coupons for the next 7 days. It worked. I only needed the coupon system for a couple months. They began to self-regulate more after that.

 

So stick to your guns. Have a family meeting and lay out the new rules. Don't expect them to like it and don't expect full compliance right away (so get rid of temptation where you can.) But, it will get better.

[Lizzie in Ma]

Not unreasonable at all. There is no computer or tv here until school and chores are done.

[PeacefulChaos]

I think you are being 100% reasonable. :)

With time, they'll get used to it. Just stick to your guns.

[mazakaal]

I've been where you are. Kids got up early, started playing games on the computer, then couldn't drag themselves away when it was time to start school. I had to make the rule that there was no tv/computer until after school was finished. The problem with that was that they would rush through their work so that they could play and watch. I had to cut back even more and make the rule that there was no tv/computer until after 6pm. So now they have plenty of time to get their work done well before they can get in front of a screen. They still have issues (dragging their feet when they're playing and I call them for schoolwork, etc) but they're a lot better than they were.

[kewb]

Not unreasonable. No electronics allowed until all schoolwork is done has always been the rule in our house. It does take a few miserable days of adjustment.

[Mommy22alyns]

Totally not unreasonable. The girls watch a little TV while they eat their breakfast before I wake up. But NO computer anything until school is done.

[Esperella]

My son has SPD ( and I think adhd) and if he sees computers/tv at all he's shot for the rest of the day. So I'm in the process of going through and getting rid of all electronics, or setting them up on an hour a day only schedule. We have so many ipads, phones, computers, tv, it's out of control.

[Tarreymere]

In my house there is absolutely no screen time of any kind until school is completed. Including homework. I'm also quick to take away electronics privileges for days or weeks for sloppy work or attitude. It has been my experience that kids will behave just like the OP described if they can get away with it.

 

We also have limited the 'screens' in our house. We have ONE tv and ONE wii. It is right in the living room, so no one can sneak playing or watching anything. We have no ipods, ipads, or smart phones. I don't even HAVE a cell phone. Dh has a basic one from his employer and there are no games on it. I have my personal laptop, my adult daughter has her personal laptop, and Dh has a desktop that is in the living room actually hooked up to the tv. No handheld electronics of any kind are available. There are no electronics in any of the bedrooms. I do have a kindle, but that does not go into a child's bedroom. The kids are allowed to use it but it stays in the living room the whole time and they had better not let me catch them playing a game.

 

We also do not have cable, so the kids have to get permission for what they want to watch if they are allowed to watch netflix or hulu. They have to get permission for wii games or computer games, and they are limited in the amount of time they are allowed to play. If someone needs to surf the internet to research something they do it right in front of me on my laptop.

 

As adults we enjoy the internet and we play online multiplayer games, but we are the adults and we put limits on the kids just like we limit their chocolate or junk food.

Edited March 29, 2012 by Rainefox

[2_girls_mommy]

We have no T.V. or computer before school ever (except for adults :) My kids also know they have to ask to use the T.V. or computer or WII. They have never had free access to electronic devices, so it sounds reasonable to me. We started these rules very early, so I haven't had to go through the withdrawals that you are.

 

Well, we have dealt with it with computers some. When they originally discovered computer games online (kid safe sites like Webkinz) they would want to play forever. I had to work on it for awhile until they understood it was just like T.V. You have to earn the priviledge ( by completing chores and school and using good manners) and it is for a set time, not unlimited, even after they have earned it.

 

DD9 still has a list hanging over her bed that we made together once of things she can do on the weekend besides play computer. She doesn't need it anymore, but we did it when it was becoming an issue once.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

I think I need to impose that at my house.........

[myfunnybunch]

My kids don't get any screen time until 5:30 p.m. and they must have chores done, all schoolwork done (unless excused by Mom), and music practice done.

 

Stick to your guns. They'll fuss at first, but once they get into the routine, it's easier. Hang in there.

 

Cat

[TexasRachel]

I had to add no piano practice until math was done 100%. Dd went from 60-70 on math to 90-100 overnight with that rule. Play time happens after work.

 

I probably need to add dd plays constantly so it was a good threat.

[Live2Ride]

That's the way it works in our house. The first days are the hardest, just stick to your decision and keep calmly reminding them that when their schoolwork is done, then they can [whatever].

 

And actually, my dc have to do much more than just schoolwork before tv/wii/computer...they have to tidy their rooms, eat breakfast, do house chores, schoolwork and music practice. Usually its well into the afternoon before they are done. And even then, it's a limited time, because then dh comes home and we start the dinner process. Sometimes my 8yo ds doesn't get his wii turn until 7:30 pm.

 

Yep, I'm a mean mommy when I need to be. :)

 

Us too. My kids watch CNN student news while they eat breakfast and read the paper...then it's time to do couple of chores and start school.

 

Hugs to the OP

[Truscifi]

We have that rule, but it is not just for school. It is also for chores and helping with anything that comes up around the house.

[Trilliums]

Yep, reasonable.

 

We are very relaxed with screen time and rules in general, but this is a general consensus we agreed upon. If the kids want to progress in academics, it is far better to get their work done first.

[Trish]

Homeschoooling would be impossible if we didn't do that first ahead of any TV or screens.

[laundrycrisis]

Desire for screens (Minecraft, Lego games on the XBox and TV shows about ninjas, legos and bey blades) became a huge problem here. We put a stop to it by limiting screen time to one our per day, at the same time, usually 6-7 pm, and no carry-overs. The first week was really tough. Now they both accept it as normal and often choose to not even use their screen time. Life is much better ! Behavior is much improved and there is a lot more creative play going on, and school is much easier to get through when they know there is no hope of getting any non-educational screen time before the official time begins. Reading Eggs, online math practice and educational DVDs from the library do not count against the screen time ration.

[catz]

That is DEFINITELY the rule at this house. No TV or recreational technology until school work is done AND 3 pm. So if they have free time before 3 pm, they need to creatively fill it on their own. I don't know how we could possibly operate any other way.

 

Good luck! I think the first 2 weeks of a change like this is the worst and then it will start to become habit.

[Puma Mom]

I thought that was a duh. There's no way my dss would have gotten anything done if they had the choice of screen time instead.

[Audrey]

No. It's not unreasonable at all, in fact I would call it a no-brainer. In our house the very firm, unwavering rule is "chores, school, then your time is your own." I think a little physical work, or warm-up, before school is vital to getting the blood flowing and the brain in gear. All those inputs (computer, tv, games, etc.) have to wait until chores and school are finished.

[laundrycrisis]

I came back to add - DS1 was rushing through and doing sloppy work trying to get to screens faster. So the "school first" rule I had originally was backfiring. Setting a specific time for the screens removed his incentive to do this. I also changed things for me. It used to be that after 3 pm, the time of my own afternoon energy lull, I was overwhelmed by the sounds of video games and TV shows I can't stand and arguing kids. Now that time of day is pretty peaceful. By 6 pm I can deal with it. And the sibling arguing has stopped because those 60 minutes are too special to waste on arguments. Once again I learned that structure is my friend :)

[Amy in NH]

Am I being unreasonable in insisting no computer/TV before school work?

 

No. Work must be done properly before play is allowed.

[Stayseeliz]

I am mean. They know absolutely no electronics until all schoolwork, chores and anything else I ask them to do is done. Ever. We just can't function any other way!

[BlsdMama]

Absolutely none.

 

No television before five o'clock.

No gaming on the weekdays. The exception is I sometimes allow the little kids an educational game.

 

 

Never fight a fight that isn't necessary. And making hard and fast rules like that save an awful lot of headache.