How do kids play in your neighborhood?

[Rivka]

We moved from a center-city neighborhood to the outskirts of our city. Life for our kids is really, really different here. Not only do we have a nice yard where they can play without an adult, but the other kids on the block all seem to roam freely. They ride their bikes and scooters up and down the sidewalk, knock on our door to ask if Alex can come out and play, and gather in various yards to play games. The general rule seems to be that kids don't go into other kids' houses unless the parents know each other, but outside play happens with whoever is around.

 

This is how it was when I was growing up, but a visiting friend told me that he thinks that these days it is rare for kids to have a spontaneous, not-very-supervised social life. He thinks it's mostly scheduled playdates and activities.

 

How free-range are the elementary-aged kids in your neighborhood? (Poll is coming.)

[Alte Veste Academy]

Our neighborhood is exactly like your new one, except that we do know a few families well enough that we let our kids play in their houses (and vice versa, they play inside our house on occasion as well).

 

ETA: I will add that we live on a street with no outlet and that I only let DS5 out with DS9 in charge. Otherwise, I supervise. (I check on them frequently anyway.) But that is about age-appropriate boundaries and maturity (or lack thereof), not a problem with the neighborhood.

Edited March 19, 2012 by Alte Veste Academy

[frugalmama]

not at all. Most here don't let kids out without at least someone keeping an eye on them at all times. We don't let DD out without an adult right there at all times. Too many stray dogs and there is a perv down the street.

[MissKNG]

When I was a kid, I played from the second I got up to the second I had to go to bed. Very little monitoring. My parents own and live in a mobile home park so I stayed within the park.

[Cassy]

DS11 has been allowed to 'roam' for a year or two. There are a number of children locally who play together around the grounds of an old college which is now a housing complex (there is a soccer pitch, children's playground, and lots of safe, tarmac-ed paths for bikes, scooters, etc). The youngest children tend to be around 7 yo. We live just across a fairly quiet road from these grounds, but I'm still not happy about DS7 going over there with DS11, and would never even consider letting DS4 over there.

 

Cassy

[Momof3littles]

The kids roam here, and they roamed in my last suburban neighborhood. That said, I ask mine to check in if they are going from A to B. I like to know and be aware. Part of that is because I found out that the other neighbor kids (7 and 5 yo) were home alone with another neighbor's 10 yo "babysitting" on one occasion (without the 7 and 5 yo parents knowing). The 10 yo's 5 yo brother was there too. On another occasion the 5 yo was left home alone for 15 mins (!) and then on a different occasion the 5 yo let the other neighbor's 7 and 5 yos in while home alone. Soooo...I require a check in now if they are jumping house to house. I know and like my neighbors overall. We live on a non busy street. Our subdivision is just two cul de sacs and maybe 17 houses total. Our kids stay in "our" cul de sac and run between 3 houses there.

[5LittleMonkeys]

Ours is like your new neighborhood. In fact, I have 2 neighbor kids in my house right now staying for dinner, and there were 5 or 6 running around in the sprinkler earlier. We have 5 houses clustered together with 13 dc and then we have a couple kids that show up from a street over. They are all pretty good except one little guy who I've had to ban from my house and my trampoline (but he's moving in July).

[KS_]

The kids here roam, and I allow mine to do that within guidelines. They have to check in and dd isn't allowed to go to the park or to the school playground alone yet (she has to have her brother along). They're also not allowed in anyone else's house, or in their backyards (I want to be able to find them if I need to). Along those lines, I don't let any other children in my house, or backyard (I've made exceptions for my kids to show their friends our chickens, but they don't just stay in the back and play there).

[catz]

We live in a neighborhood just like yours. LOVE it!

[Chris in VA]

I voted kids meet up spontaneously--I'm referring to our old neighborhood in Dallas, not here. We don't live in a neighborhood here.

It was a very sweet experience, and we really, really miss it. Dd has never known that sort of childhood.

[stripe]

Pretty free range, often within a smaller area for younger kids, but older kids and teens have a wide berth.

 

We have open backyards plus nearby parks and kids play around in both. Because I actually go out sometimes with my kids, I am the outlier. I like my kids to be where I can see them, but they don't really listen. However, they don't go far away.

[Dandelion]

It's all scheduled where we live. Mainly because everyone here lives on large lots (5 acres or more) and there aren't that many young families in the area (so not a lot of kids).

 

I grew up very free range and loved it... I wish my kids could have that experience too. Sounds like you live in a great neighborhood!

[Firestar Academy]

It's all scheduled where we live. Mainly because everyone here lives on large lots (5 acres or more) and there aren't that many young families in the area (so not a lot of kids).

 

I grew up very free range and loved it... I wish my kids could have that experience too. Sounds like you live in a great neighborhood!

:iagree:

 

exactly the same here!!

 

robin in nj

[Veritaserum]

My kids are not allowed to leave our property without permission. They let me know if any neighbor kids show up wanting to play (fine with me, but I want to know who is in my yard). We also do scheduled play dates.

 

It seems that many of the neighbor kids are "free-range," but mine are not because that doesn't feel safe to me.

[twoxcell]

We have no intermingling of kids in our neighborhood that I'm aware of. The only time I really see any kids is when they get off the school bus and walk past our house down the hill. Occasionally during the summer a little girl that lives a couple houses down will come by and play with my kids on the side walk.

[FairProspects]

Well, since mine are outside right now playing with the neighbor kids, I'm going to say free range, but in reality, they have 3 yards/houses they are allowed to play in, and I know all the parents. There are other not-so-nice kids in the neighborhood that are not allowed to play here, and occasionally they decide to play with the girls across the street, which is fine too, but usually they stay away for fear of cooties, so yeah, I think we are pretty close to your neighborhood too. :)

[Tap]

I answered both your 3rd and 4th responses, because the amount of parental control varies between families and kids.

 

Kids beyond 7 are fairly free range on our Cul-de-sac, but beyond that it depends on the family. Most kids here need to check in with their parents if they go into someone's house or behind a fenced in yard. Our yard is open and since we don't have dogs to mess in the grass, we have a lot of kids in our yards quite often. Sometimes I recognize them, sometimes I don't. LOL

 

I have seen parents who were always monitoring their child's play until 8-9yo. I have seen parents who let their 3 yo run around unsupervised....and a bit of everything in between.

[Splinter]

In our neighbourhood, it's most #4, with some #3 for younger kids. My 9 year old and his friends go out on their bikes for hours, go to the corner store, the park, friends' houses etc. The only time he has to call is if he won't be home for a meal. My younger kids go with him sometimes, but otherwise stay on our street and check in before going anywhere else.

[SheilaZ]

We live on an army post and our kids play just like you described. The only difference is that we have parks and common areas on each street. The kids also walk to the shopette and the 13+ can walk to the pool, library, and movie theatre.

 

The kids just roam about but they will check in if they change areas.

[nukeswife]

Our street only has one way in and out (it's shaped like a big letter P) I live on the "Stick" part so I can see car that comes and goes on my street if I'm looking out my door.

 

Here the kids seem to roam freely after telling their parents where they plan to be. I seem to be the farthest house down the street so I'm the edge of the "Safe" range (there are still 5 houses before you hit where our road intersects with the main road we branch off of, but I think that's because the other house past me don't have kids or their youngest is almost ready to graduate high school.

 

I love living in a neighborhood where my kids can do this. I remember as a kid our rule was out of the house after breakfast and you could come in to eat or use the bathroom but other than that you should finally come in when the street lights went on.

[missmoe]

Where I live now only playdates happen. When I lived in the city of St Louis, spontanous play happened in our neighborhood all the time. Kids weren't allowed in backyards or homes, but we had a large parkway that ran down the center of the street, so the kids played there. They could be seen for a block or two from most homes. I miss that for my kids.

[joannqn]

In our old neighborhood in the city, there were five families with kids who played together. They would knock on doors and everyone would play in the yards.

 

We've seen exactly two children in our current neighborhood. One is a preschooler that I've only seen getting into or out of the car a couple of times. I did meet mom, and they were living temporarily with her parents. The other child walks to and from school and I'm guessing she's a bit younger than my older kids.

 

So, for us, it's all scheduled homeschool events (or youth group for my oldest) and play dates if anyone has the time.

[higginszoo]

Once they hit about 8, kids in our neighborhood are pretty free-range up and down the block, and into the large city park behind our house.

 

My 7 year old and her age-mate made some poor choices and had their range tightened down significantly for now after the other mom and I spent a frantic half hour tracking them down a couple of months back.

[WeeBeaks]

Somewhere between the last two. The kids congregate in the end of our cul-de-sac and play there together, usually not in houses or yards but in the end of the cul-de-sac (very low traffic, just the families of the kids coming in there). They scooter, play ball, etc.

 

Very occasionally they will play in a yard. They roam pretty freely between ours and about 3 of the other houses.

 

This is only for the age 9/10 crowd though, and these kids and parents have all known each now since this group of kids was about age 2/3ish.

[readinmom]

Now, no contact whatsoever. When we first moved in, we had lots of families with young children. Constant bike riding, basketball, baseball, etc. Then the housing crisis hit. We were not fortunate enough to get out in time, saw most of our neighbors lose their houses to foreclosure. We have three original owners left on our block; the rest are now rentals, and filled with so many people coming and going that we are no longer comfortable letting dd outside.

 

It's sad for her, because my dss always had someone to play with.

[HelenNotOfTroy]

The neighbor's children are outside playing without an adult, but with an elementary aged sibling, by 1-2 years of age.

[KungFuPanda]

Our cul-de-sac has a circular grassy area that serves as a meeting place for neighborhood kids. There's no door-knocking. It seems you just ride your bike around the circle and suddenly your friends appear. Most of the play is across the front yards or in the circle. The kids mostly play outside together, but as they're becoming teens, the girls are going inside together more and the boys are playing more sports together. The way the street is laid out, you can sit on a chair in any yard and monitor cul-de-sac activities.

 

We have to make dates with the homeschooling friends. They're the ones that are more scheduled.

[justamouse]

my street is exactly like yours. kids everywhere.

[LucyStoner]

There is a park across the street. I live in a townhouse on a block with other townhouses and apartments. Kids meet in the park.

[OrganicAnn]

We have no kids on our street.

[Dustybug]

For our children, it's all scheduled playdates and activities BUT that is because we live in a fairly rural area and ALL of our nearby neighbors are retired couples. There aren't any other children in the immediate area, so we have to call up our friends and go to them or have them come to us.

[QuirkyKapers]

Kids are in and out of yards but not houses. However, we had issues because of the lack of supervision. The kids would be at our house for hours if we would let them. As they got older, there was quite a bit of conflict. It is hard to just let the conflict work itself out when you start to get concerned for your kids safety. So, our kids are less free range now. I schedule more play dates. It has helped to have a balance. The kids play better.

[meena]

We live at the end of a cul-de-sac, along with two other families with children around the same age as ours (as well as some very sweet, patient retired couples). We allow our children to play freely in the front/side yards. They have to ask permission before going inside the neighbors' houses or backyards. At this point we don't allow them to bike around the neighborhood unless a parent is with them.

[Delighted3]

My kids all have limits that expand with their age. The street we live on is only two blocks long. My kids are pretty free range, but we have lived here for 10 years and know most of the people on our street.

Joy

[Joker]

We have a large family next door and an only child across the street. If my girls go outside, it only takes a few minutes for the other kids to join. Sometimes a few from a street over will bike over to play as well. We live on a cul-de-sac and they play up and down the street and in each other's yards.

 

It's still different from how I grew up because I could bike all over my neighborhood and be gone all day. Dds definitely don't have that freedom, but what they have is enough for now.

[KidsHappen]

The older kids in our neighborhood are pretty much allowed to roam the neighborhood (playing in yards and streets - only one main street and lots of cul-de-saqs) but we have lived here a long time so we know lots of people in the neighborhood and the general rule is that the kids can go in each other's houses as long as they tell the parents where they are going. So if for instance they are all at my house then all of their parents would know they were here. Our kids also play with kids in two other neighborhoods that they kids can walk to and they are allowed to do that during the day but at night time the parents shuttle them around. On the very rarely occassion that the kids are outside playing and forget to inform their parents whose house they will be at, we do have all of the kids' cell phone numbers and then parents numbers as well. So if my dd didn't answer her phone, I would call her best friend and on down the list. Parents rarely have to call each other looking for their child. All of the parents in the neighborhood pretty much keep an eye out for all of the kids.

[Shellers]

We live out in the country and have one neighbor. Their kids are grown.

[rocketgirl]

we've finally moved to a real neighborhood where our kids can play with other kids :) They are loving the freedom of riding their bikes up and down the culdesac, although we, aware of their inexperience, still need to check on them every 5 minutes, but they know they cannot go into someone's house to "play", etc.