Can't I freak out without sounding like I'm braging?

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

Ds2.9 started reading about 3.5 weeks ago. His third birthday is on Monday. He's gone from making "bed" and "red" on his Word Builder toy to reading almost all CVC words, and is learning some consonant blend words. In 3 1/2 weeks. All from the Word Builder toy and Starfall. I did NOT do any formal instruction. Or even semi-formal instruction until this last week. And I started panicking and feeling overwhelmed when he started reading 40 words after only a week. I was not ready for this. I admit it, I love plans. I love making them and I love following through (although that rarely happens.) I always considered myself to be flexible, but this has sapped me of all of my confidence. My fil (who I look upon as my Dad) says that I'm borrowing guilt. I'm worried about screwing this up, of teaching him wrong, taking the fun out for him, not helping him progress enough and he just starts memorizing words or gets frustrated and stops because they don't follow the phonetics that he knows, something.

 

I've been asking for friends and people in my Bible study and Moms group to pray for me; for peace, confidence, and God's will. I've tried avoiding telling them about what, because I don't want to sound like I'm bragging. But eventually I have to explain. Everyone says "You should be happy! This is a good thing!" and I know that. And I am. But that doesn't take away feelings of being overwhelmed. I have even avoided posting on here, not wanting to sound like I'm bragging or like I'm looking for attention. But I process things best when I talk/express myself and I can get feedback.

 

Can I get some BTDT advice? Tell me what you did/didn't do to avoid the pitfalls I'm anticipating? A phonics based curriculum that works with really young kids? Right now we're using OPGTR. I'm very opposed to whole-word learning. Even HOP has more sight words than I like, and I'm weak on the phonics/spelling rules. I'm working on that, though. He is not a kinetic learner. Using letter tiles confuse him. He does really well watching/looking and hearing/saying. We're doing stuff advised on the blog in my signature. Is there anything else? And how do I fill his thirst for learning without completely emptying myself? He would "do words" all day. He begs for it, and cries when I say "no" or "not now." I feel bad saying "Hey, I need a break!"

 

 

Thank you if you read all of that. And thank you in advance for taking the time to respond.

[higginszoo]

Stop and breathe. Don't worry about curriculum too much -- he's going to learn this whether you teach him or not. I think that the biggest adjustment I needed to make was in my mindset -- I rarely have to teach any of my gifted children anything -- reading, math ... they pick it up with minimal curricular intervention, even now. My biggest mistake was with my oldest -- jumping in too much and trying to teach. My younger ones who I just let discover on their own are much more enthusiastic about learning.

 

My youngest has had no formal history whatsoever. Sometimes, she listens in to SOTW with her brother, but usually seems bored. Yet yesterday, I quoted "Beware the Ides of March" when I looked at the calendar. She looked at my quizzically. I told her it was from a Shakespeare play about Julius Caesar. "Oh, he's the one whose friends killed him because they didn't want him to marry that Egyptian lady named Cleopatra." Yep, that would be the one. She doesn't remember where she heard it, but I didn't teach it, and she hasn't had any curriculum that has covered it.

Edited March 16, 2012 by higginszoo

[mamakimberly]

My advice?

 

Calm down. Let him be little. There's no race. No rush.

 

Honestly, asking people to pray for you because your child is reading well for his age... well, it's a little much.

[acurtis75]

I agree with the others about taking a deep breath. The good news is you are starting off way ahead due to his natural ability. This gives you lots of time and room for making mistakes and adjustments.:lol:

 

I used ETC when dd was 3 and it worked well for her. The writing was a challenge but a lot of times we either did it orally or I wrote for her. ETA: I didn't discover OPGTR until after we were done with most of ETC but I probably would have used both if I had them. She liked doing the ETC worksheets.

 

Also, I understand that you have an older child so just waiting probably won't work. My niece and nephew who are 2 and 3 insist on "doing" some kind of school while there older siblings work. I have an only child but we have a small business so doing some "school" play together was necessary to keep dd from being bored while I worked in the afternoon. When she was 3 school was a few 10 or 15 minute sessions a day where we worked together on Bible verses, ETC, Handwriting without Tears, etc. HWOT was a great fit for us since she was reading way before she was ready to write. This didn't stop her from being frustrated because she wanted to write. HWOT helped with her frustration.

 

Also, I added Song School Latin when she was either 3 1/2 or 4 because I realized she had a great capacity for language and figured it wouldn't hurt to try. She loved it and it was a good foundation before starting Prima Latina and eventually Latin for Children.

Edited March 16, 2012 by acurtis75@yahoo.com

[Abeth78]

I can totally understand feeling the need for moral and prayer support over the unexpected paths children take. The feelings of fear come to all us moms at times when our children run far ahead of us or lag behind...and we have to keep pace with them. God will direct you and show you his plans.

[Connections]

DS taught himself to read when he was 2.5. So, I supplied him with lots and lots of books. The only negative was that he ended up needing glasses- likely due to all of the reading he did (and continues to do). :)

 

I would not even think about curriculum or teaching him to read. I would focus more on thinking about what you want him to be exposed to. My biggest challenge was keeping print away from him that he could not yet handle. He was also very sensitive.

 

The "just because they can read something does not mean they should" principle starts young with young readers.

 

For instance, at a park district craft class they used newspaper to cover the tables. He read the news and became very upset over something (I do not remember what). The teachers looked at me like I was crazy when I tried to explain what happened.

 

At your son's age DS LOVED search books and puzzle books like those put out by Usborne. Cards with words on them were a big hit, too. I picked up a few from our local teacher's school at the time. I did not know about them at the time but you might want to look into some Montessori 3 part cards for him to read (you do not have to use them as intended). He still will read just about anything (he is turning 11 soon) and I need to be careful what is available to him- though now I am concerned about different issues, if you KWIM.

 

He has always been one to reread books over and over again (which helps with the supply issue).

 

Try and enjoy this time of exploration.

[lewelma]

My ds also first read at just before 3. But his interest for the next 2 years was in fits and spurts. My advice to you is:

 

1) Do NOT force him to continue on a linear path. Expect him to take a month or even 6 months off.

 

2) Check his pronunciation of words in his every day speech. My son had difficulty pronouncing many sounds when he was young, and by reading at a young age he mapped letters to sounds he was mispronouncing. This obviously affected his spelling.:001_huh:

 

Good luck,

 

Ruth in NZ

[blondeviolin]

Take a breather! He may be stuck doing CVC words for a while and then zoom forward. My oldest could sound out CVC words at this age, but really wasn't a fluid reader until four. I'd just follow his lead. Read to him, familiarize yourself with the rules (you might consider Uncovering the Logic of English). He also might like to play with a Tag Reader or Tag Jr.

[Ester Maria]

My advice?

 

Calm down. Let him be little. There's no race. No rush.

 

Honestly, asking people to pray for you because your child is reading well for his age... well, it's a little much.

Yes. :)

[Matryoshka]

Reading Reflex is what we used, and I think it could be easy to implement with a young child. All you need is the book, letter tiles copied/cut from the book, and a white board. You can make it a fun game.

 

I hear what you're saying about not wanting to have him teach himself a lot of sight words before you get to phonics. This is not a necessary outcome - I read at about that age, and somehow internalized phonetic reading without anyone explicitly teaching me. So, it could very well all be nothing to worry about at all.

 

However, I have a friend whose dd taught herself to read really young, and she never learned phonics properly. Anyhow, her mom tried to teach her phonetic reading at around 5, but she paid no attention, because she could already read everything. She reads like crazy in two languages, so I guess not a huge problem. But really, she has memorized all those words (in two languages!). She was in my Spanish class (third language), and she could not sound out longer words if she got stuck - beginning and end sure, but she'd just guess at the middle. My guess is there are a number of longer words in her other languages that she knows what they mean, but doesn't necessarily know how to pronounce.

 

So, a little decoding fun even if he's young couldn't hurt...

[RanchGirl]

Honestly, asking people to pray for you because your child is reading well for his age... well, it's a little much.

 

:iagree:

 

You can be excited and make all the plans you want, to yourself, but don't fly the freak flag quite so high unless you want to alienate everyone you know. You may have a very gifted reader on your hands, or you may have a bright little man... time will tell. In the meantime, just keep reading with the kids, enjoying them and having fun with them.

[Terabith]

I think asking people to pray for you because you're feeling overwhelmed with how to educate your son is fine. And for people you're close to, telling about his reading is fine. I wouldn't tell everyone about it.

 

I wouldn't worry about trying to teach him phonics. I would let him discover reading at his own pace at this age. I'd supply him with age appropriate books, let him play on starfall/ other age or ability appropriate software/ puzzles/ games, etc and continue reading to him a lot. Point out things every once in awhile. "See, when you have "sh" together it says shh."

 

I would just assume that you would teach phonics when you teach spelling, when he's at the right age to do it or he's begging. I'd make sure he has a nice moveable alphabet or some such.

 

What I would try to do is think about how you want to balance him. I'm not advocating holding him back at all, but how you can insure he is getting enough exposure to physical activities (gymnastics, swimming, playing outside), music, crafts, time for creative play with friends, whatever is important to you, especially if you think he might be inclined to use reading and academics as a replacement for other activities rather than an adjunct.

[WeeBeaks]

My oldest was like this. I didn't teach phonics at all. He picked it up without any teaching of it. He is 9-1/2 now and still finds words he knows what they mean but can't pronounce, but he just asks.

 

I didn't do any writing early on. His motor was way behind. We just read. My biggest problem then (and now) is finding intellectually challenging material without subject matter I objected to (especially in fiction), i.e., age appropriate to social level but still interesting reading. These forums were great for that actually.

 

I don't post much here as that same child is "special needs" and that is more of a problem honestly. In terms of his intelligence, I just put the resources out there for him and let him go for it in many subjects (science especially). He is good now about asking for exactly what he wants or finding it in the library himself and bringing it to me for approval on content.

[Dmmetler]

Boards like this were/are my main support for GT freak-outs. Because, honestly, most people look at DD academically and think she's what they want. The only people who really seem to "get" DD are those who either are very gifted themselves, have very GT kids or, paradoxically, have ASD kids and can see the intensities DD shows and recognize that it's not as simple as either being a straight A first grader or a very small 5th grader (or so)-and are aware that pat answers and statements drive them crazy, and can generalize. One of the most understanding people I know-one of the few I really can vent to, has a child who will never be capable of living independently-and yet is able to handle my freak outs about DD potentially finishing high school earlier than I want.

[jennynd]

my younger started sounding out around that age. she had her up and downs. just tune in what he needs and remember reading is for fun.

she is a happy reader now and first thing she want to do when we get home is find a book to read

[ApronMama]

If he is a truly gifted reader, he's going to teach himself to read no matter what you do. Phonics or any other path won't matter, he will just figure it out on his own and probably faster than you can "teach" him. In the meantime, finger paint, sing silly songs, have a teddy bear picnic and blow bubbles, because he will still be reading when he's 13, but probably won't be doing the fun things you can do together now.

 

You are going to get a variety of advice, you'll have to pick and choose by what feels right to you and meets no resistance from your child. If he enjoys learning formally, go for it, but if he's wiggly, stop. If he's begging you for more but you are "done," try to meet the need in a different way--audio books, activity books, etc. You might find out that you give him more attention when he is doing "words" and it's the attention he is after, not the learning activities.

 

Its exciting to see your child demonstrate an ability like this and might be a preview of your future, but don't let it steal this precious time with your little one. If scheduled learning activities is FUN for BOTH of you, do it. But don't pressure yourself or your child. Curriculum is not going to follow the development path of an early reader whose progress will come in fits and starts.

 

FWIW, I have a gifted reader who started early. We read Bob Books Set 1 together at 3 yo when he showed interest. We weren't formally teaching, but giving him the tools to pursue reading if he wanted to. (If you thinks phonics is best, I would highly recommend it). We purchased Set 2, but he never finished it because he had already taught himself sight words, decoding, etc. and was reading chapter books at 4. At 8, reading is his favorite thing to do.

 

Create a literature/learning rich environment, which clearly you already do, and watch him go :) Enjoy!!!

 

P.S. I should probably take my own advice, which is why instead of doing LOF this afternoon, he's out finding snail shells in the backyard. I totally understand your concerns.

[kathkath]

DS read at 3, with no help from me. I just gave him lots of easy books.

[Embassy]

:grouphug:

 

I might try phonemic awareness activities with him and just let him go off on the reading at his own pace. My 2 older kids took off with reading and phonics skills lagged behind. Spelling was quite difficult as a result. With my youngest who is just starting to read I am using Getting Ready to Read from currclick to cover phonemic awareness in a fun way. I adapt the activities so they are a bit more play-based due to her age. I am holding off on any formal reading instruction until we finish with phonemic awareness. For example, she has covered rhyming, syllables, and now she is starting to cover segmenting words. Her reading skills are growing without me doing anything, but I want to try to give her a stronger phonics base. Time will tell if she will follow in her sibling's footsteps, but I'm hoping to avoid the massive phonics/reading gap my older kids had/have.

[Iucounu]

Honestly, asking people to pray for you because your child is reading well for his age... well, it's a little much.

:iagree:

[boscopup]

My oldest taught himself to read from starfall, and yes, it was mostly sight words sort of, though he could blend - in fact, he didn't start reading until he could blend, and when that kicked in, he could suddenly READ.

 

I've addressed phonics via spelling. No big deal. He's past the 4th grade multi-syllable words now and has no trouble. So don't worry about that. It's not the end of the world if they teach themselves to read before you get phonics in. :)

 

And I totally understand the freakout moments... My youngest will be 3 at the end of May. He can already blend a little bit (not consistently, but he can do it). He does Reading Eggs for fun, and I thought he'd hit a wall pretty quick because he's only 2. Boy was I wrong! He's catching up with his 5 year old brother. :tongue_smilie: He can pick out words out of a list and he can pick out which sentence says a particular thing. He's read a few basic sentences ("I can see the cat."). He isn't anywhere near the point of really fully understanding what he's reading, but I can easily see him reading at 1st grade level when he's 3 year old. Yes, it scares me a bit. I'm used to a gifted child with math and reading, but just not THIS early. :lol:

 

Then the one that scares me the most is the one that isn't doing reading and math super early like the others, but he thinks VERY deeply and asks really detailed questions that are very difficult to answer. He studies everything and is even starting to have some logical thinking - noticing something that happened in history at one point that affected something completely unrelated at another point... a connection that we had never made with him, but he made it on his own. It was totally a logic stage type connection. His reading and math are coming along nicely, but not super accelerated or anything. It's everything else about him that scares me! :001_huh:

 

I feel like my kids will all be smarter than me by time they're in high school... or maybe even middle school. :tongue_smilie:

[SunshineMom]

My dd8 didn't read that early but when she did, she jumped two to three grade levels each year. I did try teaching her to read but really she taught herself which I think now accounts for her "not so stellar" spelling ability. My advice, enjoy this time but be prepared for more jumps without a reading program. Some just pick up reading without our help and I certainly won't push but rather have fun reading library books together.

[catz]

He begs for it, and cries when I say "no" or "not now." I feel bad saying "Hey, I need a break!"

.

 

It's absolutely fine to say no and to set limits to how much you'll do. I do get it. My oldest was really intense as a toddler and I felt like I needed to engaged him all day long. At some point, I just set my limits and left plenty of options for him to engage himself. I took him to toddler music. I let him empty cabinets. We spent quite a bit of time outside wearing him out. It took a few weeks of adjustment to get him to not expect to be engaged constantly, but it was well worth it.

 

My biggest mistake was with my oldest -- jumping in too much and trying to teach. My younger ones who I just let discover on their own are much more enthusiastic about learning.

 

 

Very little curriculum I started with actually was worth it. I'd use your library and keep your options open. Even at the ages my kids are now, I can only say math and MCT are worth it. All the rest is just another resource laying around the house.

 

Go easy on yourself. If your child is happy, you're doing a good job. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Follow his lead. My kids changed interest on a dime at that age. My daughter at 3 learned CVC words and then wasn't interested in doing much more until age 5 when she jumped to about 4th grade level in reading over a few months. I never used any sort of curriculum with her until she hit kindergarten age.

 

Good luck! :grouphug:

 

My biggest mistake was with my oldest -- jumping in too much and trying to teach. My younger ones who I just let discover on their own are much more enthusiastic about learning.

 

 

:iagree:

[nova147]

:grouphug:

 

I freaked out when DS7 started reading at 3. It felt like a great responsibility. And I was scared. I have learned to relax, in part because you can't stay sane at that high a level of intensity, and in part because I've realized that no one is better equipped to help him than I am. God trusted me with him - I trust Him to help me!

 

I wouldn't look for a curriculum. They aren't written for littles, and many accelerated learners do a plateau/mountain kind of thing, instead on a nice, even path. DS7 still does this, which annoys me when I try to plan ahead too far! We use AAS to teach phonics, and I find it really does help his reading. Also, I have him read aloud a little every day, from various materials, to give him practice using those skills.

 

In time, you will learn who you can talk to about his learning, and how to deal with everyone else. Some will never understand why you find his learning pace troubling. But some will. When I ask for prayers, I ask for discernment regarding my children's education. Those who do understand will talk to me about specifics and those who don't aren't subject to my freak out!

 

I agree you have to set limits on the time you are working with him. If he was asking you to play cars all day, you would have no problem saying you can only play for 15 minutes now, and then you have to do X. For him, words ARE play! Look for ways for him to keep playing without you. DS liked to read to his baby sister. When she was asleep, he tolerated reading to stuffed animals instead.

 

 

Come here and freak out any time!

[psychmom]

Boards like this were/are my main support for GT freak-outs. Because, honestly, most people look at DD academically and think she's what they want. The only people who really seem to "get" DD are those who either are very gifted themselves, have very GT kids or, paradoxically, have ASD kids and can see the intensities DD shows and recognize that it's not as simple as either being a straight A first grader or a very small 5th grader (or so)-and are aware that pat answers and statements drive them crazy, and can generalize. One of the most understanding people I know-one of the few I really can vent to, has a child who will never be capable of living independently-and yet is able to handle my freak outs about DD potentially finishing high school earlier than I want.

:iagree: This is very well put. And to the OP, maybe some people will take it as bragging, but in my book worrying about your kid is worry, even if it's about something others view as desirable.:grouphug:

[roanna]

Every time I tried to find a " program" to help us out he would be on to the next level so it was a waste of money. For us it was me reading to him that did the most help. He would read the pages with me and figure out the rules.

 

I know you are very excited for him but I don't think you need to do anything for him, he'll ask or get obviously bored if his needs are not being met but it sounds like he's having lots of fun. We are going through a lull right now where he is not craving as much so I'm not shoveling books out of the library but when the spurt hits ( which your son is prob in right now) I just try to keep up with his needs and enjoy watching him learn crazy things.

 

Enjoy it , don't try to box it up in a program to figure out what next rule he needs to learn.

 

Roanna

[Teachin'Mine]

TheYoungerMrsWarde, I understand what you're talking about and understand that you were asking for prayers, not because your son is an early reader, but because you're feeling unsure of your competence to teach him well and help him to utilize his talents. These boards can be brutal sometimes. :grouphug:

 

I went through the same thing when my dd was younger, and still have moments of it now. I had those same fears when homeschooling wasn't even really a consideration. The local public and private schools were ill equipped to deal with children advanced a year or so, let alone ones like your son and others here. Unless your school district is unusual, rest assured that you will be able to far exceed what they can provide for him. I'll duck from the tomatoes. Seriously. Even gifted programs in schools are often little more than a once or twice a week pull-out program which are entirely inadequate to meet their academic needs.

 

Just keep having fun doing all the things the little ones love to do. Build up a good library so he'll have lots of books to choose from, but undoubtedly he'll be reading his favorites over and over and over and... :lol: Keep reading to him even after he's reading fluently. And even after he reads fluently, keep doing the phonics. That's my one major regret. Dd learned to read on her own without any reading instruction, so she never learned phonics. It makes pronouncing unknown words harder as she doesn't know the rules about when a vowel should be short or long, etc..

 

It's obvious from your posts here on this forum that you've got what it takes to teach him well. :001_smile: Enjoy every minute and Happy Birthday to your son!!!

[SKL]

I understand that when your child's unusual need is the biggest thing you're working on, it's hard to keep it to yourself. I was like this - I kind of knew nobody wanted to hear about my "problem" re getting my kid accelerated in school, but it was really important to me, and we moms talk about what's really important at the time, right? I found that once I figured out what to do, I felt less compelled to share with others who did not need to hear it. And having one outlet like this board is really helpful too - when you just need to vent or share with "somebody."

 

Regarding what to do - I think you probably need to do some research of the many different options that you're hearing about, and this will take some time. Meanwhile, don't panic, but try offering broader opportunities for your son's brain to work. Pull out some things you didn't think he'd be ready for just yet, but that you can teach him. Following a recipe? Playing an instrument? Learning a new language? Making up a fantasy with a dollhouse/castle? Surely your house is full of things for his brain to do if you just point them out.

 

And don't ever feel badly for saying "no" or "enough." You'd say it about other things, right? If he was really good at swimming would you leave him in the pool all day long? When it's time to go home from the park and eat dinner, do you let him refuse? Reading is no exception. Besides, I've been told that reading/writing too much can hurt some tots' eyes for the long term. All things do in moderation - that's what I tell my girls.

 

Good luck!

[Runningmom80]

I would just like to suggest not freaking out. :D There is plenty of time for that. Just keep following his lead, and don't worry about a curriculum.

[Mommy2BeautifulGirls]

Stop and breathe. Don't worry about curriculum too much -- he's going to learn this whether you teach him or not. I think that the biggest adjustment I needed to make was in my mindset -- I rarely have to teach any of my gifted children anything -- reading, math ... they pick it up with minimal curricular intervention, even now. My biggest mistake was with my oldest -- jumping in too much and trying to teach. My younger ones who I just let discover on their own are much more enthusiastic about learning.

 

My youngest has had no formal history whatsoever. Sometimes, she listens in to SOTW with her brother, but usually seems bored. Yet yesterday, I quoted "Beware the Ides of March" when I looked at the calendar. She looked at my quizzically. I told her it was from a Shakespeare play about Julius Caesar. "Oh, he's the one whose friends killed him because they didn't want him to marry that Egyptian lady named Cleopatra." Yep, that would be the one. She doesn't remember where she heard it, but I didn't teach it, and she hasn't had any curriculum that has covered it.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[Truscifi]

Another "take a breath and calm down" vote. Yes, it can be overwhelming, especially if you aren't prepared for it and you are the type of person who likes to be prepared for everything. But you just adjust, and meet him where he is. I just gave ds a lot of books to read at that age - we started with Bob books, but he could already read those when I realized he was reading, so I adjusted again and we moved on to easy readers.

 

I wound up starting what I had thought would be his 1st grade program with him when he was 4, and in several subjects he has gone through way more than a grade level a year. He's now 8 and just talked me into ordering a middle school science program for him to do for the rest of the school year because he has already finished the programs I got him for this year in several subjects (that were already ahead of what I thought we would be doing). More adjustment. As far as I can tell he has not been permanently damaged by my failure to anticipate his educational needs, and I'm sure your ds won't be either. ;)

 

ETA - You can freak without sounding like you're bragging to a very select few, everyone else will not understand. And it can be really hard to tell who those few are. I can talk to both my mother and MIL, because they had similar issues with me and dh. I can talk to one friend who also has a gifted child. With most others I screen to one degree or another. I have several other friends who know ds is advanced and occasionally it comes up. They are not critical or anything, but we move on quickly.

Edited March 18, 2012 by Truscifi

[Gratia271]

Yes, it can be overwhelming, especially if you aren't prepared for it and you are the type of person who likes to be prepared for everything. But you just adjust, and meet him where he is.

 

:iagree: I struggled through this with my eldest child. Being a planner, I wanted a roadmap. Thanks to my mom (I had no one who related to me IRL and had not discovered the boards), I learned to meet her where she was, provided different materials to engage her mind, and let her progress at her pace. Now at age 13, she is the most pleasant laid-back loving highly accomplished child I know. I realize that is coming from a biased source, but I would NOT say that about my 10 year old son.... how I wish. :tongue_smilie:

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

Thank you everyone for the encouragement. Having the feedback and stories of those that have BTDT is very helpful. I'm calming down :chillpill: :001_smile:

 

Some of you talked about early readers that mostly memorized words and are poor spellers because of it. That is one of my worries. I learned to read at 4 memorizing word with no phonics whatsoever, and I am also a terrible speller and I can't pronounce new words that I've never heard before. And I am afraid of the same thing happening to my kids. Thankfully ds-turns-3-tomorrow learned his letters and sounds and putting them together is how he's reading. But he is also memorizing some words. I'm studding up on the rules I never learned so that I'm ready to explain when he comes across a new words.

 

I hear what a lot of you said about not using a curriculum. I guess I just like the idea of it because it makes me feel like I have a plan :tongue_smilie: Until this happened I had no idea I was so plan dependent! I will practice making adjustment so that he continues to enjoy learning, and I don't box him in. ( The little stinker was also born 2 months early. I don't think he will ever be on my schedule :D ) I will look into all the resources and books mentioned. I've thought about ETC but he's not close at all to writing. And AAS looks awesome, but I'm not sure if we have the money in the budget. Is that the sort of thing they sell used on here? When I tried searching for it generally on yahoo I didn't see any used for sale.

 

And I heard what you had to say about saying "enough" when I need a brake.

 

 

Thank you again, everyone, for responding. I will save my...emotional outpourings and neediness :willy_nilly: for this board :D I sincerely was not trying to brag when I was asking for prayers. I know my help comes from the Lord. He is my strength, and sometimes I need more of that than usual. But I feel much more at peace about it now, so I believe those prayers were answered.

 

-Anya

[La Texican]

If you haven't seen it mentioned yet check out reading eggs.com. It's a mixture of sight words and phonics. I sat with my kid as he did it and the program showed me what to teach. I treated it like lessons. My great aunt was just retired from teaching after twenty years. She saw a few of my sons lessons and said it used sound teaching methods, even though it's on a computer, even though it's a video game, even though she says we still need b&m schools.

Also check out the playroom. It's got the cutest cartoons of nursery rhymes I've ever seen.

[boscopup]

I've thought about ETC but he's not close at all to writing. And AAS looks awesome, but I'm not sure if we have the money in the budget.

 

I don't think you need to worry about it before he's writing, personally. I would just hit the phonics hard via spelling when he's ready to write. :)

 

You could pick up WRTR (Writing Road to Reading). It's cheap. Just start at the beginning YOURSELF to learn phonics, spelling rules, etc. Then you can use it for the kid when he's ready. I wouldn't start it now though. Wait until he's 4 or 5 at least. If he's not writing at that time, you can use letter tiles instead.

 

By learning the phonics yourself, you can emphasize them when he's reading. For example, while we play Reading Eggs with DS3, yes there are some sight words taught occasionally. I will sound them out and emphasize the phonics. He's getting really good at blending because he's always hearing me take the words apart and put them back together. :)

 

WRTR will teach the same phonics/rules as AAS, but is a tiny fraction of the cost. The only thing I personally prefer to change is the /i/ sound for i/y in some words (it will say "baby" is /b/-/ay/-/b/-/i/ instead of /b/-/ay/-/b/-/ee/... and yes, I know Mrs. Spalding had good reason at the time, but I think that reason is no longer necessary).

 

But again, at this age, I really wouldn't worry about it at all. :chillpill: :D

[Spetzi]

Don't bother sharing with most people because they won't understand. Even my dear, well-meaning friends just don't get it it (like I don't fully understand having a child with anxiety or autism.) It's different path. You'll probably have to get real support from a gifted group or virtual group of parents of gifted/accelerated.

 

You will have to breathe and talk to dh about what you are going to do with it. Personally, I tried to support my dc to excel at that age, not guide how/when they would learn things. Obviously your dc is motivated so let him run with it. Use lots and lots and lotslibrary books!!

[nova147]

AAS does come up On the for sale boards. I know it's expensive - I actually asked my mom to buy the first level because we didn't have room in our budget, especially if I decidEd it wasn't for us. I agree you don't need to do it now. DS started reading at 3. We started AAS when he was 5, but it would have been better to wait a year - he really struggled with the writing and I think modifying it decreased it's effectiveness (at least the way I did it). He has picked up the phonics rules so well that when we had an educational assessment done this year the evaluator couldn't believe he had never used a phonics program to learn to read.

[aug17girl]

I hear where you are coming from with the worry. Dealing with a young accelerated child is new territory for me as well.

 

If you do want to look at curriculum, you might want to look at Funnix as a supplement to Starfalls. My son 3 really liked it when he was three. We just skipped the worksheets. Once he got the hang of it, I use it like a computer game rather than a parent involved lesson. The stories are really gentle and accessible for that age.

[Rosie]

Some of you talked about early readers that mostly memorized words and are poor spellers because of it. That is one of my worries. I learned to read at 4 memorizing word with no phonics whatsoever, and I am also a terrible speller and I can't pronounce new words that I've never heard before. And I am afraid of the same thing happening to my kids. Thankfully ds-turns-3-tomorrow learned his letters and sounds and putting them together is how he's reading. But he is also memorizing some words. I'm studding up on the rules I never learned so that I'm ready to explain when he comes across a new words.

-Anya

 

He sounds like my oldest dd at that age. By 3.5 she was reading Dr. Suess level books so that is what I call her "official" reading age, but at 3 she was definitely sounding out short words. I was worried, too, about her memorizing words and then hitting a wall at some point in the future because of not learning phonics well enough.

 

What I did was use OPGTR as a guide to know what order to teach. I would make up sentences for her that had to do with her life, using words she knew and words I wanted to teach. That was our actual "teaching to read" time. But the other thing that really helped was to have her read books to me and when she stumbled on a word I would point out the phonics that she needed to know. So if she was trying to read the word "boat" I would say, "When you see OA you usually will say OH. The A is silent." That way I was sure that I was teaching the phonics that was so important and I knew I was teaching at her level.

 

Also, there ARE some words that actually need to be taught by sight. THERE. TO. THROUGH. COUGH. ROUGH. LOVE. The words that don't follow phonetic rules need to just be memorized. Using OPGTR will help you know what the phonetic rules actually are so you know which words don't follow the rules.

 

I remember being in your shoes, being worried, not sure how it would all turn out, and of course not having anyone understand why on earth I would be CONCERNED about my dd reading EARLY. My dd is now an excellent reader (reads phonetically) and speller. I don't know if it has anything to do with how I handled it all when she was 3 or if she would have turned out this way anyway, but I just wanted to reassure you that it IS possible for an early reader to learn phonics!

 

I hope that helps!

Edited March 28, 2012 by Rosie

[Starr]

I think some people are just better spellers than others. One of mine never asked and never cared about spelling. She went through the spelling programs but I think her spelling improved by seeing the spell check corrections. Go with what you've got but start working on spelling once he can write enough. Have fun.

[labellavita]

both of my children are early readers like your son. I hate phonics, find it helpful but useless at the same time ;) and thankfully my children are naturally sight readers (which we all graduate to eventually anyway). I say thankfully because of my disdain for phonics. :blush: Phonics is a tool in my house, not a course. I gave them enough phonics to know how to sound out new words (all off the cuff) and that was that, they flew.

 

Just keep reading to him, and please don't take away his joy by forcing him to read, "because he can."

 

I also have never had to do a spelling program with my children. Again, sight readers, they know how words are supposed to be spelled and they are excellent spellers. Which I now know is rather Charlotte Masony, work on that visual memory.

 

Be flexible, let him proceed at HIS pace.

 

When my DD was little I tried to graduate her to chapter books and she HATED them. She would much rather read a beautifully illustrated picture book, written at a much higher reading level than a simple chapter book. So that is what I did, I kept her well-stocked with picture books. After a while I would team read chapter books w/ her when I was doing a readaloud, I'd give her a page w/ an illustration on it so she wasn't reading (in her mind) "so much text"... When she was ready she went to chapter books. I think the issue with her was visual, all that text on a page looked overwhelming. I say that to say be flexible and don't force to many "shoulds" on him. He's already broken out of the "should" mold, work with him. Help him when he needs help and get out of the way when he's doing fine. :)

[DandelionMom]

I learned to read at 4 memorizing word with no phonics whatsoever, and I am also a terrible speller and I can't pronounce new words that I've never heard before. And I am afraid of the same thing happening to my kids.

 

This is similar to my own experience. I don't know what age I started to read, but I do remember starting kindergarten as the youngest in my class and thinking that all of the reading material was really babyish....feeling confused that we only had baby books. I remember reading books before I started kindergarten and remember memorizing whole words, so I must have been a whole word reader, and I also struggled with spelling and such.

 

I really feel for you. Both of my girls started reading by 3, self-taught, and I learned the hard way that not many people understand how, or even feel compelled to offer support. Even among the "gifted" crowd, people sometimes have a tendency to want to advice you to "slow down" or "let kids be kids." It is my belief that these opinions either arise from jealousy or from a lack of understanding of the needs of profoundly gifted children.

 

Your child obviously loves to learn, craves learning and is showing you that he is wanting more. I say follow the child and don't worry if others don't "get it."

 

Also, I encourage you to feel confident that you will intuitively know what your child needs and how to make the right choices for teaching, curriculum and educational materials. You are the best person in the world to make decisions for your child.

 

Blessings,

Kelly

[Luanne]

others who say to calm down some and let him be little. I don't agree with saying asking for prayer is a little much. Either these people don't actually have advanced children or don't understand the concept of praying. I don't think it is ever a bad idea to pray.

[DandelionMom]

:iagree:

[Iucounu]

others who say to calm down some and let him be little. I don't agree with saying asking for prayer is a little much. Either these people don't actually have advanced children or don't understand the concept of praying. I don't think it is ever a bad idea to pray.

And yet we do-- go figure, eh? It's not the praying, it's the asking for others to pray for something like that. It's guaranteed to come off a bit like, "I'm stressed out over all these lottery winnings, and need you to pray for guidance on how I should spend my winnings-- French Riviera or the Bahamas? Ferrari or Lamborghini?"

 

It might help to remember the angst and jealousy that talking about early milestones (or giftedness, perhaps much more) can cause with some people.

 

ETA: Nothing of this is meant as a slur on the OP in any way. She has realized what I would have in the same situation-- that others would likely take it as bragging. In her situation I would probably have done the same thing: if I felt the need to ask for prayer, just make a general request.

Edited March 30, 2012 by Iucounu

[Greenmama2]

Um, I don't think "slow down" and "let kids be kids" are exactly the same thing. Kids can be kids even if they love & crave learning ;)

[Donna]

Can I get some BTDT advice? Tell me what you did/didn't do to avoid the pitfalls I'm anticipating? A phonics based curriculum that works with really young kids? Right now we're using OPGTR. I'm very opposed to whole-word learning. Even HOP has more sight words than I like, and I'm weak on the phonics/spelling rules. I'm working on that, though. He is not a kinetic learner. Using letter tiles confuse him. He does really well watching/looking and hearing/saying. We're doing stuff advised on the blog in my signature. Is there anything else? And how do I fill his thirst for learning without completely emptying myself? He would "do words" all day. He begs for it, and cries when I say "no" or "not now." I feel bad saying "Hey, I need a break!" .

 

My dd was a lot like your ds. She started reading seemingly on her own very young. She has "freaked me out" a bit a number of times in her life. (I am actually used to her now. Ha!) I am also a planner. I like things to be orderly and to have a plan for everything but my dd broke me of that because she has always seemed to have her own timetable for everything.

 

What I did with her reading...I kept on doing exactly what we had been doing. It was working, so why change anything? We played games with magnetic and bathtub letters and I read to her all the time and let her read to me (whether it was something she had memorize or she was really reading it). She never needed an actual curriculum. She was reading fluently by 3.5yo. I did use Spelling Power with her for spelling starting when she was 5yo so she would have spelling words grouped according to phonics rule but she had already intuited the rules and rarely spelled anything incorrectly.

 

I agree that relaxing and letting a kid be a kid isn't the same as "holding them back" especially if you are letting your child be the child they are, following their lead, and giving them the materials and time from you they need to follow their passions.

 

I followed her lead when it came to learning and when she asked to do something I generally stopped and played with her. There were times when I had to do something else like clean or cook dinner or help a brother and I would let her know I was busy and give her a time when I would be done...she learned to tell time really quickly that way, too.

 

I completely understand that overwhelming feeling, wondering how you can possibly provide everything this child will need or you aren't prepared for what they are able to do. As for the bragging part, no one who hasn't been in your position is going to view anything you say along those lines as anything but bragging. As for me, I share here or with a couple friends who have children similar to my own.

[Mommyfaithe]

Ds2.9 started reading about 3.5 weeks ago. His third birthday is on Monday. He's gone from making "bed" and "red" on his Word Builder toy to reading almost all CVC words, and is learning some consonant blend words. In 3 1/2 weeks. All from the Word Builder toy and Starfall. I did NOT do any formal instruction. Or even semi-formal instruction until this last week. And I started panicking and feeling overwhelmed when he started reading 40 words after only a week. I was not ready for this. I admit it, I love plans. I love making them and I love following through (although that rarely happens.) I always considered myself to be flexible, but this has sapped me of all of my confidence. My fil (who I look upon as my Dad) says that I'm borrowing guilt. I'm worried about screwing this up, of teaching him wrong, taking the fun out for him, not helping him progress enough and he just starts memorizing words or gets frustrated and stops because they don't follow the phonetics that he knows, something.

 

I've been asking for friends and people in my Bible study and Moms group to pray for me; for peace, confidence, and God's will. I've tried avoiding telling them about what, because I don't want to sound like I'm bragging. But eventually I have to explain. Everyone says "You should be happy! This is a good thing!" and I know that. And I am. But that doesn't take away feelings of being overwhelmed. I have even avoided posting on here, not wanting to sound like I'm bragging or like I'm looking for attention. But I process things best when I talk/express myself and I can get feedback.

 

Can I get some BTDT advice? Tell me what you did/didn't do to avoid the pitfalls I'm anticipating? A phonics based curriculum that works with really young kids? Right now we're using OPGTR. I'm very opposed to whole-word learning. Even HOP has more sight words than I like, and I'm weak on the phonics/spelling rules. I'm working on that, though. He is not a kinetic learner. Using letter tiles confuse him. He does really well watching/looking and hearing/saying. We're doing stuff advised on the blog in my signature. Is there anything else? And how do I fill his thirst for learning without completely emptying myself? He would "do words" all day. He begs for it, and cries when I say "no" or "not now." I feel bad saying "Hey, I need a break!"

 

 

Thank you if you read all of that. And thank you in advance for taking the time to respond.

 

My ds 17 learned to read...on his own @ 2 1/2. Just keep enjoying reading to him, having him pick books to read TO you and with you. Go through a systematic phonics program LATER, when he is in 2nd grade ...or so. Just because he can read, Does not mean he will be able to spell....

 

Also, it is difficult to find books at little kids maturity level when their reading level is so high.....start looking NOW. Ds could read ANYTHING, very young, but was NOT ready for the material at such a young age. We read tons of Hardy Boys, Johnny Quest, and older reading books like the Bobbsey Twins, etc.

 

Enjoy your baby....he is still a baby, even if he is a smart one. Cuddle up and it will all be ok......

 

Faithe

[Terrilth]

 

It might help to remember the angst and jealousy that talking about early milestones (or giftedness, perhaps much more) can cause with some people.

I learned a long time ago when my first was born that I often can't "hide" my girls' giftedness, (nor would I want to) and how other people react is just something that I can't control.

 

I don't talk a lot about my daughters' achievement, but when I do talk about my girls I don't worry about how other people are going to take it.

 

It's kind of like the old 12 step saying, "What other people think about you is not your business."

 

I think it's also fine to ask for prayers about any/everything. But that's just me.:001_smile:

[Parker Martin]

"I'm stressed out over all these lottery winnings, and need you to pray for guidance on how I should spend my winnings-- French Riviera or the Bahamas? Ferrari or Lamborghini?"

 

Yet, if a person won the lottery, he'd be especially in need of prayers.

 

My son learned to read extremely early too. He wasn't interested in phonics lessons. Now he's five, has been reading for over three years, and can read pretty much anything. He picked up phonics from the two of us reading together.

 

So my advice would be to not waste any money on phonics resources at this age. Just buy a lot of books. They'll actually be used.

[Guest Carrie1013]

:grouphug:

 

I freaked out when DS7 started reading at 3. It felt like a great responsibility. And I was scared. I have learned to relax, in part because you can't stay sane at that high a level of intensity, and in part because I've realized that no one is better equipped to help him than I am. God trusted me with him - I trust Him to help me!

 

In time, you will learn who you can talk to about his learning, and how to deal with everyone else. Some will never understand why you find his learning pace troubling. But some will. When I ask for prayers, I ask for discernment regarding my children's education. Those who do understand will talk to me about specifics and those who don't aren't subject to my freak out!

 

What she said. :) My DS started reading at 2.5 and is showing an aptitude for math as well. (He'll be 3 in June.) People always think I'm bragging when I mention it but I'm not... I'm freaking out because it's exactly what you said - overwhelming and it scares me. I've learned that some just don't get it so I stopped talking about it except with a few specific people and on my homeschooling blog where I document everything. (If readers get annoyed because they think I'm bragging, then they can just stop reading.) I'm trying to find the balance of making sure he has material that challenges him but not pushing him too far. We read a lot, play on Starfall, and use manipulatives to introduce math concepts.

 

Good luck!

 

(If you want to follow my blog to get ideas from what we're doing, it's http://lincolnfreedomacademy.blogspot.com)