Going with DH on an extended business trip, WWYD?

[Annie]

My husband has the opportunity to go on a month long business trip in April, and I'm trying to decide what to do. Our little guy will be a month shy of two, and the thought of trying to keep him in a hotel room for a month sounds awful, but I know he would really miss his dad if we didn't go with. DH will work 6 days out of 7 for at least 12 hours a day, plus a half hour commute, so he won't be around much, but we would at least get to spend his off day together. The pay would be good, about double what he usually makes with expenses covered. We don't really need the money, but we just bought a house, and I'm sure we would have no problem spending it on fixes. Here's some of what's swirling around in my head:

 

 

• We just bought a new house and will have been moved in for about 3 weeks when he leaves. I'm a little afraid I'll be scared in the new house by myself (:blush:).
  
• The house has a big yard, and the thought of taking little man away from it to spend April in a hotel seems almost cruel.
  
• The hotel is a suite so there would be a bedroom, living room, and kitchenette. I would have to cook most of our meals instead of eating out due to food allergies. They provide basic kitchen supplies, but gosh, it won't be easy without pantry staples or my own things.
  
• The city we would be in isn't big. There aren't things like zoos or children's museums to take up our days, but I'm sure we could find a couple of parks to play at.
  
• We would be missing little man's toddler music class four times. We've already payed for it.
  
• We have two cats that I suppose we would have to take with us. The hotel allows it for a relatively modest fee.
  
• I'm afraid we would go stir crazy in the hotel. Little man is very active and busy. He doesn't sit, and he gave up his nap at 18 months. He's a bear to deal with when he's bored.
  
• We're already scheduled to travel at the end of May and for the month of August. I feel like if I'm gone all of April, I'll never be home. Does little man need more consistency? I don't know.
  
• The little man really loves his dad, and I know he would miss him. A month is a long time for a two year old, and I'm afraid their relationship would be damaged. We would occasionally be able to Skype. I would miss him, too. A lot.
  

What says the Hive? Would you take your toddler to live in a hotel for a month so you could spend a day a week with your DH? Due to the distance and the fact that he only has one day off a week, visiting during the month isn't really an option. It's an all or nothing thing.

 

ETA: I just learned that there's a chance he will have to work evening/nights instead of days. Something like 7pm to 7am. This means I would have to keep little man quiet enough for him to sleep. Yikes. This makes me lean to not going...

Edited February 14, 2012 by Annie

[Danestress]

If he were spending a month in Florence (Italy, not South Carolina) I would be all over it.

 

But I would rather stay home then go hang out in a hotel in a boring place, with two cats and a two year old, cooking in a hotel efficiency. No thank you! I love my DH and I would have a hard time not seeing in for a month. We've actually never been parted that long. But that just sounds really tedious and painful to me. I would rather just go out for a 3 day weekend at the half way point.

[Tap]

If he were spending a month in Florence (Italy, not South Carolina) I would be all over it.

 

But I would rather stay home then go hang out in a hotel in a boring place, with two cats and a two year old, cooking in a hotel efficiency. No thank you! I love my DH and I would have a hard time not seeing in for a month. We've actually never been parted that long. But that just sounds really tedious and painful to me. I would rather just go out for a 3 day weekend at the half way point.

 

:iagree:

 

Are there any positives...other than seeing your dh for 1/2 a day and at night? Can he opt out, or is an 'expected-optional' month?

[Annie]

If he were spending a month in Florence (Italy, not South Carolina) I would be all over it.

 

Definitely not Florence. Think more along the lines of small/mid size midwestern town.

 

:iagree:

 

Are there any positives...other than seeing your dh for 1/2 a day and at night? Can he opt out, or is an 'expected-optional' month?

 

Seeing him seems like pretty much the only positive. He can opt out. It's not expected of him. It's something he thinks will be interesting, but honestly, I think he'll be bored out of his mind after a half of a week. He's really keen on going, though.

[amey311]

Will you be able to go anywhere (will you have a car)?

 

Would you consider going for the first or second half rather than the whole time? You could be home with Toddler for the first 2 weeks and then go see Dad just as you're at the "Holy CATS I need another adult" point.

[Carol in Cal.]

You know, babies like consistent company. Older children like consistent company AND surroundings. I think it's more important to have the consistent company at age 2 than anything else, including consistent surroundings.

 

It's often a big mistake to turn down work assignments, especially right now, and especially ones that pay significantly more than 'normal'.

 

I'd go, and I'd ask for the toddler class to give you a credit toward classes later on, and if they wouldn't I wouldn't care.

 

I figure that a toddler can be occupied anywhere. I'd take him outside a lot no matter what the landscape was like. This is the age where they still like boxes more than the presents that come in them. Going to the supermarket is a fun outing for heaven sakes.

 

Really the question is more what you would do. And my feeling would be, read, visit the library, learn some exotic cooking techniques or a new cuisine (but then, I really like to cook!), read, work through a knitting book of obscure stitches, read, join a book group, find a church to visit regularly, pick something to study and read about it, hike if possible, read, visit historical or natural history sites, visit local places of interest, read...it would be fun. I'd go for it!

[LibraryLover]

.

Edited February 15, 2012 by LibraryLover

[T'smom]

I'd go! Pack up toys in little boxes and have him open a different box every few days. Will this location be warm at all? If you have a car (if you only have one, would it be possible to drop dh off and then go pick him up so that you have use of the car?) Pool in the hotel? Swim, baby, swim!!!! That will wear a toddler out! Are there any interesting things around the town? Small museums or such? Even if there is not, you can walk around and discover things! All the parks will be new to him, so you'll be able to use lots of time exploring them.

 

It would be difficult, no doubt. But I think it'd be worth it!!!!

[ErinE]

I'd say yes, I would do it, but I've been married for 12+ years and gone through many separations caused by work, so I'm grateful for any and all opportunities to spend with DH. It may be rough on you, but your dh will get to see his child and be with you in his free time. Having gone through long separations, I'm grateful for the time I can spend with my husband.

[Annie]

Will you be able to go anywhere (will you have a car)?

 

Would you consider going for the first or second half rather than the whole time? You could be home with Toddler for the first 2 weeks and then go see Dad just as you're at the "Holy CATS I need another adult" point.

 

I'll have our car. They'll pay for a rental for him. I don't think I could really go for half of it because it would mean driving either there or back with just me, the toddler, and the cats. It's about an 11 hour drive with no stops, and I just don't think we could manage it without DH.

[Swimtaxi234]

My family just spent four days in a hotel in a small town. Granted we were at a swim meet so we had something to do for a set number of hours twice a day, but for the rest of the day we had to find something to do.

 

The walls seems to close in on me on those cold, rainy days when we were stuck in the hotel.

 

On the other hand, when my daughter was 18-months-old my husband deployed and I was home alone with a toddler. I would have loved to have had my husband to talk with at night and watched him spend time with our daughter (even if it was just for a little while).

 

:D Can you tell I am confused on my opinion? Old memory vs a fresh memory

[5LittleMonkeys]

Under the conditions you've described, I would stay home.

 

I've lived in hotel rooms and RVs for months at a time with very young dc when my dh traveled for the FAA. What made it tolerable for us was that dh was off Fri, Sat, and Sun and we would always plan some big outing\event. He also got back to the room around 2 or 3 each day. During the week the dc and I would go to parks, zoos, museums, malls...but we were in large towns like Chicago, St. Louise, Denver, and Albeqerque. We would also go to the pool once a week. Doing all of those things cost a lot of money though as did eating out many times a week.

 

Laundry was a pain as was cooking since the kitchen space was limited and the variety of cookware I was willing to bring with us also limited the types of food I could prepare.

 

We were able to experience some amazing things and had alot of fun together but If my dh had to work as much as yours will or if it was going to be in a city with very little to do and see, I wouldn't go. In fact, there were times that we didn't go with him strictly based on the city he was going to be in. Experience had taught me that being in a boring city made for a long restless time.

 

As for your dc being away from your dh for a month. My dh traveled for 12 years and when my dc were very little we only traveled with him for half of the year. Later we only traveled with him for about 1/3 of the year (summers). The other times my dh would only be home every other weekend..occasionally he would have to do three weeks and so we would only see him for 2 days out of the month. Dh didn't stop travelling until my oldest was 10. The older three have just as close of a relationship with him as the younger ones who came along later do. I doubt a month away from Daddy will have any lasting negative effects on your dc. Talk on the phone a lot and sign up for free ooVoo. Absence make the heart grow fonder!:D

[KidsHappen]

I did exactly this thing when my youngest was a little younger than your's. It was a miserable experience and I am usually a person who is content to sit in a hotel room and read a book and order take out. It was so terrible that I haven't traveled with hubby again since then because my kids aren't quite old enough to leave home alone yet and I most certainly don't want to repeat the experience even with older children. My hubby and I are planning a few days alone in Atlanta sometime when we can leave the kids with my oldest dd.

 

I would stay and continue setting up the new home.

[Annie]

You ladies are nudging me more over to the going side. I just think it's going to be really hard either way.

 

Some folks asked about the weather. This would be a place where it's not terribly unusual to see snow in April. My guess would be that the average is probably in the mid/upper 40s at the beginning of the moth. It would probably start to be fairly nice out by the end of the month.

 

After talking to my husband, it sounds like the town is more small than mid sized. Just over 1,000 people.

 

 

One thing I just learned is that there's a chance he will have to work an evening/night shift. Something like 7pm to 7am. This means I will have to keep the little man quiet during the day while he sleeps... This new info makes it seem very difficult.

[5LittleMonkeys]

Some folks asked about the weather. This would be a place where it's not terribly unusual to see snow in April. My guess would be that the average is probably in the mid/upper 40s at the beginning of the moth. It would probably start to be fairly nice out by the end of the month.

 

After talking to my husband, it sounds like the town is more small than mid sized. Just over 1,000 people.

 

 

One thing I just learned is that there's a chance he will have to work an evening/night shift. Something like 7pm to 7am. This means I will have to keep the little man quiet during the day while he sleeps... This new info makes it seem very difficult.

 

 

Stay home and dream up amazing ways to show him how much you missed him when he gets home.

[LibraryLover]

I'll have our car. They'll pay for a rental for him. I don't think I could really go for half of it because it would mean driving either there or back with just me, the toddler, and the cats. It's about an 11 hour drive with no stops, and I just don't think we could manage it without DH.

 

 

So where is this place with nothing to do? :)

 

I think it's finefinefine for you to stay comfortably at home if you feel it's best.

Edited February 15, 2012 by LibraryLover

[Anne]

Will you be able to go anywhere (will you have a car)?

 

Would you consider going for the first or second half rather than the whole time? You could be home with Toddler for the first 2 weeks and then go see Dad just as you're at the "Holy CATS I need another adult" point.

 

:iagree: Or go for a week in the middle?

 

I would go for part of the time, but not for the whole time.

 

Anne

[Annie]

So where is this place with nothing to do? :)

 

 

Southwestern Michigan.

[Farrar]

Oops... I misread and voted wrong for the convince your dh not to go. I meant you shouldn't go. If it was a fun city (even a mildly fun city) and you didn't have to keep quiet, then I'd say do it... but not if he's going to be working nights and there's not even a children's museum in town!

[silliness7]

1,000 people? Holy smokes!! I lived in a town with 11,000. There was 1 park, a very sorry excuse for a library, very little shopping places. Wal-Mart was the place to be. I think there was only 1 hotel in the town and it wasn't a nice one (though there were some hotels off the interstate some miles down the road) It did have 2 universities. Strolling their campuses was a major pasttime.

 

1,000 people is beyond my imagination. What would you do?

[Annie]

1,000 people? Holy smokes!! I lived in a town with 11,000. There was 1 park, a very sorry excuse for a library, very little shopping places. Wal-Mart was the place to be. I think there was only 1 hotel in the town and it wasn't a nice one (though there were some hotels off the interstate some miles down the road) It did have 2 universities. Strolling their campuses was a major pasttime.

 

1,000 people is beyond my imagination. What would you do?

 

We would be in one of those hotels by the interstate. :) I think there is some tourist stuff there because it's near a big state park. There's also a township park in town, I guess... I'm not sure what we would do.

[Annie]

I have to go to bed now, I'll check in for more votes in the morning!

[amey311]

What about arranging for someone to come visit YOU while he's gone? My husband had to be gone for 2 weeks once, and I arranged for my brother to come visit for the second week.

 

I would seriously evaluate how much time your toddler is actually going to be able to spend with Daddy if "time with Daddy" is your main reason for going. It might be better for you to think of some fun things to do at home (playdates, field trips, simple crafts, etc) and then Toddler will have some things to show Daddy during daily Skype visits.

 

Also, lay in some supplies for you, since there won't be any late night ice cream/wine/whatever runs when you're parenting solo.

[silliness7]

Did you say you would have access to a car? How far would you be from Grand Rapids area? How far would you be from Chicago? If your dh is going to be gone for very long periods of time you might have time to swing a trip that direction. Will you be on the lake shore? Of course, it'll be chilly, you can't swim. But if you dress warmly the sand at the lake could be a very fun diversion. There are some dunes in that general area that I hear are a lot of fun too. I've not been.

 

The state park sounds promising.

[HiddenJewel]

If it was with two children, I would probably stay home. But with one child, a vehicle, and a smaller town I say go for it.

[Ellie]

Stay home.

 

Your ds won't miss his father all that much. Or, to put it another way, it doesn't sound as if he'll actually see his father all that much if you go, and that's a boatload of inconvience for the opportunity to have daddy-time on weekends.

 

If you were going to, say, Paris, or New York City, or San Francsico, I'd say go for it, but nothing you listed sounds worthwhile enough to give up being at home for that month.

[KatieJ]

Southwestern Michigan.

 

Where in SW Mi? I live in SW Mi, altho outside of a really big city. Do you want to be more exact? Those of us who live here could give you an idea of how far a drive a bigger town would be.

 

However, I am thinking it sounds like staying home would be a better option if Dad has to sleep during the day.

 

Yes, we do get snow here occasionally in April, but it melts right away. Big snow storms should be over by then. :)

[Paige]

I would stay home. It sounds like a miserable experience, IMO, for you and the little guy. I'd look at it as a time to have an adventure with your DS and yourself at home. Have fun doing whatever you want on your own schedule, exploring your own city, and making friends. My DH is military, so 1 month does not sound so long to me. I remember when it did feel like a long time and when I would be really upset and nervous about even a week alone, so I can sympathize. I think the times I've grown most as a mother and person have been on DH's extended trips. They made me stronger and more independent. It sounds like having DH around is the only plus of going with him. I had a 2yr old, 2 infants, and a cat in a hotel suite for about a week and it drove me crazy. I was so done with it after 1 week that we moved into and lived in our new house with nothing in it other than what we had packed in our car for 2 more weeks until the movers could deliver our stuff. It was better to sleep on the floor in a vacant house than to try to keep the 2yr old occupied and out of the litter box in a hotel. Maybe I would have felt different if I only had the 2yr old at the time, but I doubt it. The babies weren't the problem as they were young enough to mostly sleep all day.

[Joker]

I would go and have done just that. I haven't been away from dh more than a week since he left the Marine Corps and that's been 13 years. I've packed up and taken the kids to where he is and I'm so glad I have. Dds are huge daddy's girls and they enjoy that time, even if it's only an hour here or there. I think it's better than a month of zero time.

[FriedClams]

:iagree: Or go for a week in the middle?

 

I would go for part of the time, but not for the whole time.

 

Anne

 

:iagree:

[sbgrace]

Given the allergy cooking (do you need special ingredients/we do and even a week's vacation is a pain in food and material transport), possibility of night work, and lack of outside diversions I think I'd stay home and try to arrange very regular skypes.

[HiddenJewel]

Given the allergy cooking (do you need special ingredients/we do and even a week's vacation is a pain in food and material transport), possibility of night work, and lack of outside diversions I think I'd stay home and try to arrange very regular skypes.

 

I totally missed there was an allergy component. If it means cooking everything from scratch, I would probably be staying home. Skype is a great idea even with no allergies!

[TheAutumnOak]

I would go if DH was going...We would never choose to spend that much time apart unless there were no other choices, like he had to serve in the military or something...Knowing DH, he would either not go or insist that we go with him if he had to be away that long...Me staying home while he was gone for a month probably wouldn't be an option here, no matter how old or young our kids were...

[sassenach]

Can you go for half of it?

[Thea]

I'd stay home, but go visit him for a few days in the middle of it.

[HLDoll]

 

One thing I just learned is that there's a chance he will have to work an evening/night shift. Something like 7pm to 7am. This means I will have to keep the little man quiet during the day while he sleeps... This new info makes it seem very difficult.

 

I already voted "don't go", and this just confirmed it for me. I've done numerous separations from my husband in our 10 years due to the national guard, and while it isn't easy, kids are resilient and their relationship won't be damaged. There just don't seem to be anywhere near enough pros to going, and way too many cons.

[lynn]

I have stayed in a hotel with young children for a month at a time. It is very doable. Chances are the hotel will have an indoor pool. What city will you be in? Do some research are there any chuck e. cheese or other indoor play places? Ask the desk clerk at the hotel for suggestions. Stop on at the visitors center on your way to your destination for brochures on the area. What larger cities are around? Anything within an hour drive for you to visit.

[Down_the_Rabbit_Hole]

I say go.

[Parrothead]

I voted before I read your ETA. Normally I try to tag along when dh goes to interesting places. We get to spend time in the big city (Boston, NYC). So that was what I voted. It is generally a great learning experience.

 

But since you will be in... well, nowhere special with a dh working nights, I'd say stay home.

 

Buy or borrow a big dog if you think you will be scared at night.

 

PS. The money and the experience he will gain is worth it. Be a rock for him. Don't hold him back.

[Brigitte]

 

One thing I just learned is that there's a chance he will have to work an evening/night shift. Something like 7pm to 7am. This means I will have to keep the little man quiet during the day while he sleeps... This new info makes it seem very difficult.

 

That would put me squarely in the "stay at home" column. Regardless, I would likely stay at home and plan a trip out at the half way point. Given the weather where he is going and the smallness of the town, I would get cabin fever in that hotel all day (even if he is on a regular day schedule).

[Ottakee]

Southwestern Michigan.

 

Can you say what city/town you would be near? We are in South West Michigan and there is tons to do around here...........likely you could arrange some play dates with other moms in the area.

 

If dh is working nights though, I would say to stay home as keeping a toddler quiet all day just isn't going to work and then he still wouldn't see dad much at all.

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

First, I wouldn't try to convince your husband not to go. With the economy the way it is, if this trip is good for his job he needs to go.

 

Secondly, under the conditions you describe I wouldn't go. I'm a veteran of going with my husband on business trips. If there is nothing more than a hotel room and a chance to see dad for a couple hours the little ones get stir crazy. Sure, if this were a location where you could come up with some great activities and adventures for the two of you that would be different. Also, is the extra expense of specialized food, transport of all your little ones amusements, and any added costs such as the cat fees, and maintenance costs for the house you leave behind going to eat up all the extra pay he makes or be worth the time and hassle involved?

 

It's not fun but lots of families survive these short term separations. There are many jobs for which they're the norm. Either way-have fun during that month.

[Sahamamama]

We packed up and left home last autumn when that hurricane was rolling up the East Coast (USA). ;) My husband was scheduled to travel that week, and I didn't want to be stuck at home with three kids, no electricity, and no hubby. :D I'm glad we went. True, our girls were older than your son, but we didn't have a car (that week) and I'm still glad we went. The hotel staff was super sweet to the girls, and that was part of what made the trip, believe it or not.

 

We went to Lancaster, PA. We spent an entire afternoon in the public library, LOL. The girls SO enjoyed reading books that our library doesn't own. They made puzzles. We did a bit of homeschool stuff. We packed PBJ, water, and apples as a picnic EVERY day. Breakfast was covered by the hotel, and supper was on the company. A person in a coffee shop nearby noticed us praying before we ate, and offered us FREE tickets to see Joseph at Sight & Sound Theater. :001_smile: That was a treat! We did spend a morning or two at a laundromat -- the girls had never been in a laundromat. We did some homeschool work and watched the clothes swish and twirl. An educational experience all around. :)

 

I'd go. Practice being adventurous. So far, we've been to VA, PA (3x), NC, and CA. In North Carolina, the librarian actually let us check out books for the week! (Sweet). :D We are heading out again soon (with a van this time, LOL), and we'll travel any time and anywhere we can.

 

States I'd love to visit: All of them! :)

Countries I'd love to visit: Most of them! :)

Edited February 14, 2012 by Sahamamama

[southernm]

First, I wouldn't try to convince your husband not to go. With the economy the way it is, if this trip is good for his job he needs to go.

 

Secondly, under the conditions you describe I wouldn't go. I'm a veteran of going with my husband on business trips. If there is nothing more than a hotel room and a chance to see dad for a couple hours the little ones get stir crazy. Sure, if this were a location where you could come up with some great activities and adventures for the two of you that would be different. Also, is the extra expense of specialized food, transport of all your little ones amusements, and any added costs such as the cat fees, and maintenance costs for the house you leave behind going to eat up all the extra pay he makes or be worth the time and hassle involved?

 

It's not fun but lots of families survive these short term separations. There are many jobs for which they're the norm. Either way-have fun during that month.

 

:iagree: I've BTDT and I would not go.

[Annie]

Thanks to everyone so far. You've given me a lot to think about. I keep changing my mind either way as I read the comments. I don't think my husband has too much of a preference. I know he would love to see us on his days off, but when he gets back from a long day, I'm thinking he's probably going to just want to go to sleep for the most part. It might be easier on him those days if we weren't there. I'm afraid I'm going to want to talk his ear off the second he steps in the door.

 

It isn't really viable for me to go for half of the trip or go up to visit since it would involve an 11 hour car ride alone with an active toddler and two cats. I couldn't do many stops to let him out to run or take long meals with the cats locked up in their travel cases.

 

Did you say you would have access to a car? How far would you be from Grand Rapids area? How far would you be from Chicago? If your dh is going to be gone for very long periods of time you might have time to swing a trip that direction. Will you be on the lake shore? Of course, it'll be chilly, you can't swim. But if you dress warmly the sand at the lake could be a very fun diversion. There are some dunes in that general area that I hear are a lot of fun too. I've not been.

 

The state park sounds promising.

 

I would be not quite two hours from Chicago and an hour and a half from Grand Rapids.

 

Where in SW Mi? I live in SW Mi, altho outside of a really big city. Do you want to be more exact? Those of us who live here could give you an idea of how far a drive a bigger town would be.

 

 

I PMed you. :)

 

 

Given the allergy cooking (do you need special ingredients/we do and even a week's vacation is a pain in food and material transport), possibility of night work, and lack of outside diversions I think I'd stay home and try to arrange very regular skypes.

 

We're egg, wheat, and peanut free. I don't need that many special ingredients if I plan right, but I pretty much do need to make everything from scratch. Do you think Amazon ships to hotels? I could get the specialty ingredients we used shipped with Prime...

 

Can you go for half of it?

 

Can you say what city/town you would be near? We are in South West Michigan and there is tons to do around here...........likely you could arrange some play dates with other moms in the area.

 

I'll PM you!

[cin]

With the extra money and new house, I'd stay home and 'Pinterest' the new house. And surprise DH when he comes home with a Gorgeous New Home!!!

 

But that's just me. :D

[Osmosis Mom]

I wouldn't go and can't even fathom why you would want to go! If it were my dh, then he would arrange it so he could come home at some point, but even if not, then work is work. It does not sound as if there is any time for him to even relax if your little guy was waiting in the hotel room. Plus two cats?? No way. I would take care of my part of the deal and stay home and give the child consistency plus get the new house ready.

[NanceXToo]

If it was ME, I would go. I couldn't be without my husband/home alone for a month, and I wouldn't want my kids to be without their dad for an entire month. That's a long time!

 

I would find things to do to keep occupied. I'd bring things along, we'd go out on walks and ask around at the library and visitor center and other similar places what there is to do around there and find other things to do to keep busy with, we'd explore and make an adventure of it and seeing a new place. I might even see if there was a local homeschool/meetup group that wouldn't mind a tag along temporarily. Maybe there are people from this board in that area you can meet! Who knows! Will there be times of boredom? Sure, but aren't there at home, too? But either way, we wouldn't be home alone/lonely/wishing we'd gone/missing daddy, husband etc. for that long. But that's just my preference (and besides, I'm a big baby and don't like sleeping alone at night, I get creeped out if my tattoo artist husband works late and can't even imagine how military wives handle deployments lol).

 

I would not try to convince my husband not to go, though. The money sounds good, he wants to go, and like others have said, if this is good for his job and with the economy the way it is, it is probably for the best that he doesn't say no!

[Tammyla]

:iagree: I would need a vacation after that...

 

I wouldn't go and can't even fathom why you would want to go! If it were my dh, then he would arrange it so he could come home at some point, but even if not, then work is work. It does not sound as if there is any time for him to even relax if your little guy was waiting in the hotel room. Plus two cats?? No way. I would take care of my part of the deal and stay home and give the child consistency plus get the new house ready.

[Word Nerd]

Given all the conditions you listed, I would stay home but maybe try to visit him while he's there (I would get a house sitter for the cats).