CAMom Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 My dh has gone down hard with the flu. It came on Christmas afternoon and he's still in bed. He's a pretty typical man when it comes to being sick. Frankly, my patience is wearing a bit thin.;) I know it's not his fault that he's sick but if I were that sick, he'd go off to work and I'd have to live with it. I wouldn't have the luxury of laying in bed for 5, going on 6 days. Maybe I'm jealous?:lol: Anyway, I'm trying to change my attitude about the whole thing. It's been more of a challenge because I've been "sleeping" on the couch so as to try not to get sick and have been averaging 3-4 hrs. per night and not consecutive. What do you do for your husband when he's sick? I'm hoping to comfort him and make him feel loved rather than acting out on the lack of patience I'm feeling.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mktkcb Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NatashainDFW Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I am probably not the person to ask since I have a disabled dh but when he gets something like the flu I sentence him to solitary confinement in our bedroom. This means I bring drinks and food to him in the bedroom which is about the only change. I regularly help with his bathing and dressing and what not. I also get less sleep when someone is sick in the house and because we don't have a couch I sleep upright in a chair. Smile and remember that he will get better and be back on his feet soon. The flu stinks and hopefully the rest of your household remains flu free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acurtis75 Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I've found the best option for me is leave him alone and let him sleep. I check in occasionally to see if he needs meds, food or fluids and try to stay downstairs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 When my dh had the flu a few years ago he lived curled up on the loveseat! One of the kids friends referred to him as "the specimen in the nest!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I think that "babying me when I'm sick" is the top love language of nearly every man on the planet :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 My husband just wants to be left alone when he is sick. He goes to bed and sleeps until he feels better. Then I start shoveling food down his throat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 My hubby is sick right now, but he isn't the typical man about it. He actually has been installing new baseboards while being sick. I had to tell him to stop, take a steamy shower, and REST! I do chase him around with elderberry syrup, vitamin D, hot tea, etc during the day. And bring him advil when he is moaning in his sleep, lol. I do wish he'd learn to breathe through his mouth at night though. The snoring was waking up half the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Hmm...what do I do for DH when he's sick... oh, right... nothing. :leaving: I'll occasionally go grab him a drink or some ibuprofen if that's what he needs, but in general he's on his own. :o I'm not much of a nurturer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 When my DH is sick, I let him live, and I sleep on the couch so I don't catch anything from him. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAMom Posted December 30, 2011 Author Share Posted December 30, 2011 When my DH is sick, I let him live, and I sleep on the couch so I don't catch anything from him. :D :lol:That's about what's going on here. He did ask me to vacuum his slippers this evening.:lol::001_huh: Granted, they did have dog hair on them. He also asked me to smell him because he was sure he smelled like acetone which we know as the "smell of death" from our recent hospice experience with my dad and stepmom. So, sounds like most everyone just leaves them alone. I'm fine when he's sleeping. It's when he's awake I go crazy. He starts making crazy requests and demands.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Luckily, DH doesn't really ask for anything. After the past 10 years, he's probably just glad I'm not fussing at him for ruining my day by being sick like I used to...*ahem*... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel marie Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 i know the feeling and it is the same around here when my hubby is sick. thank goodness it isn't often. women can handle all of the emotional/sickness stuff so much better than men. they have all the body strength, but we have them beat mentally. guess that's why we have the babies. i'm really good at first tending to his needs then it gets run in the ground and i am over it. if he is starting to feel better, then let him start doing a few things for himself. i know the flu is tough. maybe in the future you can persuade him to take the vaccine (if ya'll agree with it). it will be one less thing for you to have to nurse. hang in there. :glare: angel R.N. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 (edited) When DH is sick I keep the kids away from him so he can sleep all day - which might not sound much but it's a whole lot more then he does for me when I'm sick :glare: A nurturer I am not He moans and groans so much over every little thing that really - it was not my fault when I made him drive himself to the hospital when he had appendicitis because he's cried wolf so many times so to speak. Edited December 30, 2011 by sewingmama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
venusmom Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 My dh is the same way and wants me to let him be 'off' duty in a way I never got to before...however - maybe it's because our kids are now a bit older - I recently have been the one sick twice now in 2 weeks...ugh! He has babied me!!!!! :blink: He brought me food, drinks, meds, and an extra blanket! I've tried to be patient with him when he's been sick and keep my unkind thoughts to myself when my patience wore thin with him in the past - and I have to say - he really returned the kindness the past 2 weeks. I am so thankful too - cause I was pretty sick. I guess I'm just saying - you never know - sometimes old dogs learn new tricks!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 He did ask me to vacuum his slippers this evening.:lol::001_huh: Granted, they did have dog hair on them. What?????? :001_huh::lol: That is one of the funniest things I've ever read here. When my DH is sick? I pretty much try to ignore him. I feel like if I give him too much attention, he will complain more. I'm better at nurturing the kids but they don't complain as much. Wow. I don't sound very nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 My DH is just the opposite. He does not like to be fussed over. It makes him very irritable. Every once in a while he wants Mrs. Grass' Chicken Noodle Soup with the Fat Ball. I kid you not. I do not understand this, but I do accept it. However, he cannot figure out what to take to feel better. Ever. He will walk up to me and say, "What should I take?" Without telling me how he feels or what his symptoms are. Thankfully, I have learned just how to quickly interrogate him at this point in the process, and that I have to actually give him the medicine myself or he will stand helplessly in the bathroom looking at the wall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 (edited) Since having kids he only seems to get sick when I'm sick and/or DS is sick and he always feels worse somehow. :001_huh: I guess he gets less on duty parenting? He was pretty good to me during two rough pregnancies, so I will repay the favor when I don't have a 2 year old and a baby. ;) Oh! I do keep his water glass filled and his Nintendo DS charged. Edited December 30, 2011 by MrsBasil Can not type a coherent sentence! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber in SJ Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I think Dh & I have different "love languages" when we are sick. When I am sick I want someone to check on me, bring me meds, juice, soup, fluff my pillows, make the bed every time I shuffle to the bathroom so I can get back into a non-lumpy bed. I want someone to bring me the laptop so I look at what I want & then take it away so the buzzing noise that only I can hear won't bother me. I want to hear someone telling everyone in the house to shush because Mommy is sleeping. I don't want any little people to come in & ask me for anything. I want to sleep knowing that my house is not being turned upside-down and inside out because I am not on my feet. None of this has ever happened, but it would be nice. This only applies to colds & flu. Vomiting or migraines mean knock on my door & die. When Dh is sick he wants to be left alone to sleep. He will get his juice when he wants it, he will get his meds when he feels like it, do not talk to him, make noise, or refer to his being sick in any way. If he sleeps for 12 hours straight, do not check to be sure he is breathing. Of course I don't think this is what he really wants; I think he wants what I want (see above :D) So he, the ungrateful wretch, can't understand why I would make the bed while he was in the bathroom. Do not bring him soup, tea, juice or anything else that reminds him that he is sick. Do not ask him if he would like to watch TV because watching TV in the middle of the day means you are sick. It has taken me 20+ years of marriage to come to terms with the fact that being left alone while sick is what he really wants and it is really all I can hope for when I am sick. Amber in SJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I think that "babying me when I'm sick" is the top love language of nearly every man on the planet :D :lol: Dh and I both came down with an awful stomach bug at the same time yesterday. I'm currently pregnant as well. Guess who has been forcing fluids and bringing food? :eyeroll: I knew that I needed to force myself to sip a bunch of water or else go to the hospital for an IV (no thanks!). Once I had rehydrated myself I started making dh drink as well. Thank goodness we are better tonight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 My dh goes to work--no matter what. When he gets home and falls into bed, I gently close the door and keep things on the quiet side until he goes to work again in the morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caitilin Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 When my DH is sick, I let him live, and I sleep on the couch so I don't catch anything from him. :D the bolded is usually all I can manage. Whining sends me round the bend. Luckily, dh is VERY rarely ill. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAMom Posted December 30, 2011 Author Share Posted December 30, 2011 i know the feeling and it is the same around here when my hubby is sick. thank goodness it isn't often. women can handle all of the emotional/sickness stuff so much better than men. they have all the body strength, but we have them beat mentally. guess that's why we have the babies.i'm really good at first tending to his needs then it gets run in the ground and i am over it. if he is starting to feel better, then let him start doing a few things for himself. i know the flu is tough. maybe in the future you can persuade him to take the vaccine (if ya'll agree with it). it will be one less thing for you to have to nurse. hang in there. :glare: angel R.N. Very good point about the physical vs. emotional. Never thought about it that way. Maybe women evolved to be tougher or the family would die out if they all got sick at the same time since the man wouldn't be able to take care of things.;) Since having kids he only seems to get sick when I'm sick and/or DS is sick and he always feels worse somehow. :001_huh: I guess he gets less on duty parenting? He was pretty good to me during two rough pregnancies, so I will repay the favor when I don't have a 2 year old and a baby. ;) Oh! I do keep his water glass filled and his Nintendo DS charged. :lol:Definitely! He always has it worse. Poor guy. He has been really sick! I must say that he's good to me when I'm sick when he's not at work and/or he's not sick at the same time.:lol: He said we need to make a plan for tonight so that I can actually sleep while I'm on the couch. Guess that means I have another date with the couch tonight.;) The two bassets think it's great that I've been on the couch. That's part of the reason I can't sleep! I keep waking up with them on top of me.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAMom Posted December 30, 2011 Author Share Posted December 30, 2011 My dh goes to work--no matter what. When he gets home and falls into bed, I gently close the door and keep things on the quiet side until he goes to work again in the morning. My dh owns his own business and always at least works from home (software developer) when he's sick but not this time. He's so sick he can't manage it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 (edited) My dh only has a man-cold, but I feel for you. In our little house of 6, there are 3 sick people. I'm keeping them all three confined to their rooms to "avoid cross contamination" just in case they don't have the same thing. Besides that, it is easier for me if the man-cold stays out of my way. I stop by a couple times a day (like when I'm getting dressed or brushing my teeth) to offer soup, juice, water, medication, popcicles, fruit, tissues, and other necessities, but I try to not be anywhere near dh while he's sick. I don't even make doctor's appointments for him anymore (I used to, but he didn't go to one he asked me to make so I quit making them). Everyone is different when they are sick. I learned many years ago that my dh doesn't want to be babied when he's sick. I respect that and do what I can from a distance - even if I don't agree with the severity of the symptoms or his chosen course of treatment. I'll offer an opinion when asked, but he rarely asks unless he has something important to do at work and needs to make to the office. Edited December 30, 2011 by Karen in CO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I stay out of his way. To him, that is the most loving thing I can do. He doesn't tolerate pampering at all. He once had flu so bad that it was coming out of both ends, violently. Yet, he would NOT let me make him a bit of soup, nor even bring him Tylenol. "I'll walk to my own grave!" is his motto when ill. I don't even try to argue anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myeightkiddies Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 My dh loves to sleep (even when well), so I bring him fluids to encourage him to stay hydrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runmiarun Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 When my DH is sick, I let him live, and I sleep on the couch so I don't catch anything from him. :D HA! :lol::lol::lol::lol: This is my take, as well. I love my DH but when he is sick, he's like a life-sucking, noisy alien that fell from his planet. I leave him ensconced in our room until my sweet DH that I adore emerges. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Hmm...what do I do for DH when he's sick... oh, right... nothing. :leaving: I'll occasionally go grab him a drink or some ibuprofen if that's what he needs, but in general he's on his own. :o I'm not much of a nurturer. Haha, this is me too. I have trouble being sympathetic when I have to fend for myself and care for the kids when I am sick. He lays in bed watching tv for days, and when he feels better he goes back to work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Are nominations still open for Best Threads of 2011? When my husband had the flu, early in our marriage, I rented (remember that?) the entire Lonesome Dove miniseries for him to watch while he recuperated. Now I figure that I am done. Every time he complains that I am not "nurturing," I say, "But remember when I rented Lonesome Dove for you?" Yes, it was 12 years ago, but it is evidence that I have/once had a nurturing bone in my body. But I am NOT a nurturer to my husband. If he is sick, I all but douse him and everything in his path with Lysol, put everyone on High Handwashing Alert, and stay out of the way. Terri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 :iagree::glare: (((Big hug to op))) Take away all distractions so he can really rest. He'll be up before you know it. I think that "babying me when I'm sick" is the top love language of nearly every man on the planet :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 :lol: That was funny!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I've found the best option for me is leave him alone and let him sleep. I check in occasionally to see if he needs meds, food or fluids and try to stay downstairs. :iagree: I try to make sure that he has what he needs, and then I try to ignore him :blushing:. I love my husband, but he is such a baby when he's sick and I can't handle the whining. :leaving: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 My dh owns his own business and always at least works from home (software developer) when he's sick but not this time. He's so sick he can't manage it. Oh that stinks--I'm so sorry he's sick! The really bad part is that my dh works even when he really is truly too sick to manage it. I mean, drag a bucket up onto the tractor and carry on anyway. Not good. Driving heavy machinery and being delirious from fever just isn't a good combination, kwim? :eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 :lol: LOL! This is exactly the link I was going to post :lol: Trust me, I do NOT make a good nurse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAMom Posted December 30, 2011 Author Share Posted December 30, 2011 Oh that stinks--I'm so sorry he's sick! The really bad part is that my dh works even when he really is truly too sick to manage it. I mean, drag a bucket up onto the tractor and carry on anyway. Not good. Driving heavy machinery and being delirious from fever just isn't a good combination, kwim? :eek: Oh my!:001_huh::lol: No, that's not good.;) I heard my dh in the shower this morning and wondered what he was up to.;) Then he starts getting dressed and I asked what he was doing. He said he was going to the office. I told him no he wasn't.:) He said he was just going to sign a couple of checks and be right back. Fortunately our office is less than a mile from home. I could have signed checks except one of them was for church and I'm not on that account. He was gone all of 15 minutes and he's been asleep ever since he got back. This is day 6. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in the UP of MI Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I'm not really able to do much for dh when he's sick. It just means that, if I'm not equally sick, I take over most or all of the household duties and he decides whether or not he's sick enough to stay home from work. DH isn't really able to do much for me either. If I'm feeling really awful (as in can barely get off the couch), he might come home a little early from work so that he can make dinner. He'll feed the kids and get them ready for bed. But he doesn't really do anything for me, and I'd have to be really, really, really bad for him to stay home from work to watch the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 My dh just wants to be left alone. This works fine for me. I leave him alone. I occasionally ask him if he needs anything (I admit to always hoping the answer is no). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Oh my!:001_huh::lol: No, that's not good.;) I heard my dh in the shower this morning and wondered what he was up to.;) Then he starts getting dressed and I asked what he was doing. He said he was going to the office. I told him no he wasn't.:) He said he was just going to sign a couple of checks and be right back. Fortunately our office is less than a mile from home. I could have signed checks except one of them was for church and I'm not on that account. He was gone all of 15 minutes and he's been asleep ever since he got back. This is day 6. :tongue_smilie: Glad he stuck to the 15 minutes! Day 6 of the flu though--blah. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I let him sleep when he's sleeping and when I hear him rustling around I will ask him what he needs. Then I will bring it or have the kids work on their servant skills. ;) I serve him. I forced myself to be what I want when I am sick because in the past DH was not very nice to me when I was sick. I wanted him to see how I deserved to be treated. He gets it now, mostly. Sometimes he slips and asks what I have planned for dinner.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nukeswife Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I'm a big ol' meany and I mean MEANY. I do nothing and usually tell him "Suck it up Buttercup" and unless he's delirious from a fever I'm not going to let him just lay around either. Nobody lets me just lay around when I'm sick. I still have to take care of kids, do laundry, make meals and the rest of it, so if I have to do my job when I'm sick, he has to do his household jobs when he's sick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Dh generally refuses to admit he is sick and won't let me do a darn thing for him. I tend to leave glasses of oj all over the house near him and refuse to let him do stuff. When I'm sick, I like to moan like a baby and be pampered. Luckily dh likes to pamper me. It's terribly uneven but it works for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel marie Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 all of these posts are hilarious!! i guess we are all in same boat...noah's ark size!! :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Let him sleep as much as he needs and keep the kids out of his hair. That's it. Simple, but he really appreciates it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K-FL Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 My husband just wants to be left alone when he is sick. He goes to bed and sleeps until he feels better. Then I start shoveling food down his throat. :iagree: He gets down-right nasty! I just keep out of his way & check on him every now & again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Goldwater Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 He's a pretty typical man when it comes to being sick. Mind elaborating what you mean by this? :001_smile: When I'm sick my dear wife has learned to literally leave me completely alone to sleep, which is my greatest desire. I tell her, I'll either live, in which case I'll get up when I can, or I won't, in which case she can start looking for a date to bring to my funeral...:lol: If I'm well enough to eat, I'm well enough to make it myself...she carries on 100% of the household load when I'm completely down and out... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAMom Posted December 31, 2011 Author Share Posted December 31, 2011 Mind elaborating what you mean by this? :001_smile: Well, based on all of the other posts in this thread...;) When I'm sick my dear wife has learned to literally leave me completely alone to sleep, which is my greatest desire. I tell her, I'll either live, in which case I'll get up when I can, or I won't, in which case she can start looking for a date to bring to my funeral...:lol: So, you've never asked your wife to vacuum your slippers?:lol: If I'm well enough to eat, I'm well enough to make it myself...she carries on 100% of the household load when I'm completely down and out... And, when she's completely down and out, do you carry on 100% of the household load? ;) :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Goldwater Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 :tongue_smilie: <And, when she's completely down and out, do you carry on 100% of the household load> Why, yes, I have. :) Never requested the slipper vacuum treatment, though :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleWMN Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 In 12 years of marriage, I don't recall my husband ever bring sick. I take that back. He had the flu a few years ago and still went to work. He threw up once b/c I gave him a vitamin B pill. Lol And he had outpatient surgery once. No, twice. I guess I don't have much experience with this. He's been very fortunate with his health. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 Mine turns into a completely needy baby and whatever he has is so much worse than what I ever had. I pamper him to a certain extent, rubbing his back, bringing him pills and water, etc, then it starts getting old and then he's on his own. When I'm sick I just want to be left alone. If I'm sick, I better stay in my pajamas, because the minute I get dressed, then they think I'm fine and back to work I get. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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