Poll: Can you do it all...and do it well regarding *housework*.

[Lisa R.]

For the purposes of this poll can you answer for the average home schooling mom whose kids are older than pre-school age. (Anyone with kids younger than this is automatically absolved from any expectations in these areas.) Also, for the sake of this discussion, it doesn't count if someone is only able to achieve this by making their family and/or guests uncomfortable with their uptight behavior.

 

I've read excerpts from Martha Stewart's daughter's autobiography. Her daughter says that her mother once asked her to wrap her own Christmas presents, turned the lights off for Halloween, didn't have yummy snacks around the house, etc. Basically, she was a hands-off mother.

 

Why should anyone care about this? Well, Martha Stewart has been making moms all over the country feel guilty that they don't have an immaculate linen closet, don't make their pie crusts from scratch, and don't make customized table decorations for each dinner guest. For a long time I've realized that Martha has been creating her empire with loads of employees helping her create a beautiful home, a flourishing garden, and elegant food. Yet many people look at her beautiful home, garden, and food and think, "Why can't I live like that?"

 

So, now that we know that Martha has, indeed, not been the perfect housekeeper, do you think that these exist?

Edited October 21, 2011 by Lisa R.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I guess it depends on your idea of perfect housekeeping. I don't do crafts or overplanned events. I do have all the dishes, laundry and vacuuming done daily. I'm a low maintenance person and don't "decorate" but I like clean. To each his own.

[kathymuggle]

Some people can - but not me!

 

I once read a fridge magnet:

 

you can have a clean house

you can prepare great food

you can have happy kids

you can have a happy spouse.

 

Pick 3.

 

Yes, it is simplistic, and we are not totally in charge of other peoples happiness, but I think the sentiment is great.

[MissKNG]

I do very well with housekeeping. I can't stand the phrase "please excuse the mess" and purposed to never be in the position to have to use it in regards to my home. My "secret" is that I'm always on the move, always multi-tasking, never putting things that need cleaning off, etc. Not only does my house stay clean, I also stay fit without formal exercise. :001_smile:

 

Now, I do admit that our master bathroom suffers the most because it's not seen by company but I still clean it regularly, just not daily like everything else.

 

But that's just the "Monk" in me, I guess:D

[beaners]

Some people can - but not me!

 

I once read a fridge magnet:

 

you can have a clean house

you can prepare great food

you can have happy kids

you can have a happy spouse.

 

Pick 3.

 

Yes, it is simplistic, and we are not totally in charge of other peoples happiness, but I think the sentiment is great.

 

I'm happy with 2 out of 4!

[Alte Veste Academy]

I think it is possible for a very efficient person to do it all with housework and meals. I am personally not willing to sacrifice whatever "me time" is left over after homeschooling to keep an immaculate house. I keep it reasonably clean and that's good enough for me. I care more about how we eat so I do better at meals than at house cleaning.

 

Of course, I also voted that you can cover all subjects well in the other poll. For that, I am willing to sacrifice to make it happen. Dirty baseboards, not so much. :tongue_smilie:

Edited October 21, 2011 by Alte Veste Academy

[nukeswife]

I guess it depends on our idea of a great housekeeper. I've ever liked Martha, so if it's those standards, then no. I am, however a great housekeeper for my family, and we're not concerned with what other think of our standards.

[Alte Veste Academy]

I do very well with housekeeping. I can't stand the phrase "please excuse the mess" and purposed to never be in the position to have to use it in regards to my home. My "secret" is that I'm always on the move, always multi-tasking, never putting things that need cleaning off, etc. Not only does my house stay clean, I also stay fit without formal exercise. :001_smile:

 

Now, I do admit that our master bathroom suffers the most because it's not seen by company but I still clean it regularly, just not daily like everything else.

 

But that's just the "Monk" in me, I guess:D

 

DH would love it if I were more like Mr. Monk. :lol:

 

Do you have any secrets or tricks you would like to reveal besides constant motion or is that it in a nutshell. :bigear:

[Mergath]

I usually get all my cleaning done, but we have a tiny apartment. If we had the size house many people have, no way. Also, my dh works six or seven days a week, and we spend next to no time together. And I only have one kid.

 

Also, we had pizza tonight. But I have cold! It's not my fault! :tongue_smilie:

[MissKNG]

DH would love it if I were more like Mr. Monk. :lol:

 

Do you have any secrets or tricks you would like to reveal besides constant motion or is that it in a nutshell. :bigear:

 

That is mainly it in a nutshell. Also if you keep up with it, it's easy to keep things clean if you really don't have time. Also I don't mean 2 hour cleaning sessions. 10 minutes here, 10 minutes there. I keep it broken up so it doesn't become cumbersome - 10 minutes in the kitchen to tidy up. Then when the living room needs attention, 5-10 minutes there. But I do it daily.

 

I also have the girls pick up when they are done with something before getting something else out. For example, we pick up the blocks before getting the puzzles out.

[Alte Veste Academy]

That is mainly it in a nutshell. Also if you keep up with it, it's easy to keep things clean if you really don't have time. Also I don't mean 2 hour cleaning sessions. 10 minutes here, 10 minutes there. I keep it broken up so it doesn't become cumbersome - 10 minutes in the kitchen to tidy up. Then when the living room needs attention, 5-10 minutes there. But I do it daily.

 

Right now I'm spending a half hour in the morning and a half hour in the afternoon straightening and cleaning. I'm working on foisting some more stuff off on the kids. :tongue_smilie: Cleaning in spurts throughout the day is something I need to embrace.

 

I also have the girls pick up when they are done with something before getting something else out. For example, we pick up the blocks before getting the puzzles out.

 

Yes, we are working on this. Still. After how many years? And for how many more? :willy_nilly:

[MissKNG]

Right now I'm spending a half hour in the morning and a half hour in the afternoon straightening and cleaning. I'm working on foisting some more stuff off on the kids. :tongue_smilie: Cleaning in spurts throughout the day is something I need to embrace.

 

 

 

Yes, we are working on this. Still. After how many years? And for how many more? :willy_nilly:

 

Yes! That's where the 10 minutes here, 10 minutes there comes in really handy because then the 1/2 hour afternoon cleaning won't be so cumbersome and probably not as long.

[Pretty in Pink]

We're talking about going Martha Stewart in addition to full-time homeschooling, right? I answered 'no'. Maybe it depends on the ages and number of children though.

[HS Mom in NC]

My girls are 15,13, and 6. My kids are trained to do chores by the time they turn 6.

 

It depends on what you mean. I do most of those things but I only buy low maintenance things and I am ruthless about eliminating clutter. I'm not a Martha Stewart because she probably invests far more time than we do. We probably average about 1 hour of chores every day but Sunday.

 

My kids and I all do chores on a daily basis:

The dishes are done, rooms and bathrooms straightened up, litter boxes cleaned, pets fed and watered, almost all the time. If there is a load waiting for another in the dish washer to finish I use paper plates so the dishes don't back up any more throughout the day. I use the 1 hr. cycle on the dishwasher to keep things moving. One kid unloads breakables the little one unloads non-breakables, everyone clears the table and one kid rinses them before I load them. I don't do hand dishes other than water bottles. One the little one does those. If it needs hand washing I don't own it.

 

I grocery shop for 2 weeks at a time twice a month. I clean the fridge and straighten up the pantry the day before I shop. We eat at home (and I cook) all but maybe 2 meals a month. I only do easy 30min. recipes or simple slow cooker recipes. I have a couple of frozen meals on hand for crazy days. Anything else is not worth the time. The kids help shop, freeze, do food prep, etc. My husband grills a couple of meals each week that the girls and I have prepped.

 

All our laundry is done once a week. All the kids and I haul laundry down, I push it through, and the moment the buzzer goes off everyone over the age of 3 helps put their own clothes away immediately. Yes, I will stop what they are doing for school to spend a few minutes putting it away. If it needs ironing, I don't buy it. If someone wants an item that needs ironing in my home, they iron it themselves. I make a couple of rare exceptions a year. Dress shirts have no-iron fabrics that are worth every penny. My husband is fussy about how laundry is done (zippers zipped, buttons buttoned) so he does his own.

 

Each kid does a weekly chore most days in addition to daily chores. One kid vacuums twice a week (I have hard flooring in all rooms except bedrooms) and the other mops twice a week. Even weeks each kid scrubs a bathroom (the little one helps mom in the master bath) and odd weeks each kid wipes their assigned bathroom with Clorox disinfectant wipes. Their bedrooms are vacuumed weekly. Dusting and wiping down surfaces happens at least twice weekly.

 

I don't allow loose leaf paper any more. My kids have spiral bound lined paper, computers for word processing, and artist notebooks to keep the paper monster from taking over my house. Closets get cleaned out 2-3 times a year.

 

I am a minimalist when it comes to "stuff." I ruthlessly get rid of non-essentials.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I voted no, but that it really depends on your priorities. I personally prefer a clean house, and mine is relatively clean. I also attempt to do most of my meals from whole, healthy foods. I'm also the one who does all the laundry, grocery shopping, clothes and everything else shopping, I pay all the bills, do all the yardwork and take care of the car. I also lead a Cub Scout den, organize a home school book club, take my kids to Chess Club and various other activities, and for myself, I attend a dance class once a week and walk with my friend once a week. And, I'm currently trying to make crafts to sell at 2 craft fairs. All this while trying to school two active boys. I simply cannot physically do it all to the extent that I would like to do it. Some things have to slide by until I can get to them. I do spend more time than I should on the computer, but other than that, I am constantly on the move. If someone didn't have all the external obligations, they might be able to keep a "perfect" house.

[AK_Mom4]

Martha Stewart has been making moms all over the country feel guilty that they don't have an immaculate linen closet, don't make their pie crusts from scratch, and don't make customized table decorations for each dinner guest.

 

Martha has never made me guilty. A little envious, perhaps, because she has so many good ideas (and no - I don't care if she steals them from books or got them from her mother).

 

For the record - I have asked my older DD to wrap her own presents (she does a better job than I) AND have turned the lights off at Halloween too. I don't see anything wrong with either of these.

 

As you can see from my sig, my kids are older. I actually HAVE free time in my life to spend how I choose now. I could have the whole "perfect house" thing if that was what I thought was important. You fill your days with what is important to you.

[redsquirrel]

For the purposes of this poll can you answer for the average home schooling mom whose kids are older than pre-school age. (Anyone with kids younger than this is automatically absolved from any expectations in these areas.) Also, for the sake of this discussion, it doesn't count if someone is only able to achieve this by making their family and/or guests uncomfortable with their uptight behavior.

 

I've read excerpts from Martha Stewart's daughter's autobiography. Her daughter says that her mother once asked her to wrap her own Christmas presents, turned the lights off for Halloween, didn't have yummy snacks around the house, etc. Basically, she was a hands-off mother.

 

Why should anyone care about this? Well, Martha Stewart has been making moms all over the country feel guilty that they don't have an immaculate linen closet, don't make their pie crusts from scratch, and don't make customized table decorations for each dinner guest. For a long time I've realized that Martha has been creating her empire with loads of employees helping her create a beautiful home, a flourishing garden, and elegant food. Yet many people look at her beautiful home, garden, and food and think, "Why can't I live like that?"

 

So, now that we know that Martha has, indeed, not been the perfect housekeeper, do you think that these exist?

 

Martha figured out early on that there is a lot of money to be made by making women feel like crap.

 

If you enjoy that sort of work, then by all means do it. I refuse to judge other people by the their housekeeping skills. If I go into a super tidy house I think "wow, this person really likes to do that sort of thing." I don't think "wow, this person is morally superior to me."

[Annie Laurie]

I think one can do it all in regards to the home, with beautiful meals and a beautiful home, if they don't also work outside the home, or especially, homeschool. With homeschooling, a full-time job in itself, I don't see how.

[justamouse]

I have seven kids, I pick my battles.

 

If I had two kids, I could rule the world. If I didn't homeschool I could rule the universe. But I'm not willing to give up my awesome kids for some podunk universe.

 

My house is pretty decent. It's reasonably clean. I wouldn't be embarrassed if someone stopped in. BUT I have been slacking on laundry this week because I've felt like crap.

[Denisemomof4]

other.

 

Until this year, yes. Now that we have afternoon activities 3 days per week, swim two evenings, no. I'm a month into my schedule and am very overwhelmed. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet.

 

ETA: I can only answer for me, so that's what I did. I wouldn't even try to vote for the average homeschool mom. Is there such a thing?

Edited October 22, 2011 by Denisemomof4

[Brigitte]

Yes, I think there are some people who can keep a neat and tidy house, prepare good meals, and homeschool their children. However, I assume that person has a spouse who takes care of all the home maintenance, car care, and all the other stuff that "the man of the house normally takes care of. The mom also does not work a job. If all that is the case, I think it can be done. That is not the situation AT ALL in my house. So, the house is a mess, but the kids are generally well fed and happy. It takes everyone in the family doing their part to make it all work.

[Dustybug]

Yes, I think there are some people who can keep a neat and tidy house, prepare good meals, and homeschool their children. However, I assume that person has a spouse who takes care of all the home maintenance, car care, and all the other stuff that "the man of the house normally takes care of. The mom also does not work a job. If all that is the case, I think it can be done. That is not the situation AT ALL in my house. So, the house is a mess, but the kids are generally well fed and happy. It takes everyone in the family doing their part to make it all work.

 

Well, I fit that description and I struggle. :glare: Of course, technically I'm "excused" from this because all of my children are under 5, but we live in a 900 sq. ft. , 2 bedroom house and it is HARD, even with minimal stuff to keep the clutter at bay. I am constantly carting boxes and bags of things off to Goodwill or consignment. We just simply do.not.have.enough.space, but we have to make do with what we have. My house is never nasty, but there are things lying around in places that would seem odd to some (books on the back of the couch, school supplies lying on the kitchen table, a stray laundry basket here or there,toy storage in the main hallway, etc. ) I am working on MY perspective because I grew up with a mom who was not the best housekeeper and I was embarrassed to invite people over. I get so uptight about how my house "should" look to have company over that we often don't. I suppose it doesn't help that my MIL and two SILs think my house should always be eat off the floor clean since "I don't have a real job." :glare:

[AnnaM]

There is only 100% of me and I can only split that 100% so many ways before something starts to suffer. I don't know how anyone could do everything 100%. At least not with out colapsing at the end of the day.

[Jennifer in MI]

Yes, I think there are some people who can keep a neat and tidy house, prepare good meals, and homeschool their children. However, I assume that person has a spouse who takes care of all the home maintenance, car care, and all the other stuff that "the man of the house normally takes care of. The mom also does not work a job. If all that is the case, I think it can be done. That is not the situation AT ALL in my house. So, the house is a mess, but the kids are generally well fed and happy. It takes everyone in the family doing their part to make it all work.

 

I agree with this. Luckily, I have a husband who has a very flexible work schedule and can take the car in on a work day and do work while waiting. I love that!

 

I can usually keep up pretty well with the housecleaning and cooking and homeschooling. But, I have three boys who know how to work a vacuum, do dishes, mop, clean a bathroom, wash a car, sew on a button, change lightbulbs, etc, etc, etc. And, I very rarely have to ask them to re-do something because they don't do it right the first time. That makes ALL the difference in my house!!!

[Audrey]

I try. Most of the time, I manage to keep on top of it all, but.... I have help. My dh does a LOT around the house. He also does all of the maintenance and repairs that make it possible to keep the place running smoothly. He does as many household chores as I do. Some things he even does better than me. I know I am very lucky.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I think it is up to the individual. Yes, I think SOME people can have an immaculate house, cook awesome meals, have a happy healthy family. Me? Nope.

 

People have their own areas that work well for them and others they struggle with.

 

Yesterday, I was on a conference call where the blanket statement was made that EVERYONE needed to study for the Praxis I and Praxis II exams in order to pass. The next comment was "Don't think you can just walk in there and pass; you can't." Who can't? I did. Not only did I pass, but I got a certificate in the mail recognizing me for getting a top score. I "studied" about an hour (though my daughter thinks that is exaggerating).

 

Now, I can't easily keep my house up. I work at it and it still isn't the way I want it to be. Tomorrow, our landlord is coming. We (the four older of us) will likely spend 30-45 minutes cleaning to get it "good enough." I'll still worry. A LOT. I feel silly about it because I know the house is cleaner than when we got it from them (they finished moving out about an hour before we started moving in). At the same time, we seem a little rougher, I fear, since we are NINE, not three like they are.

 

Most of the time, I don't mind that we aren't perfect. We do have some strict rules upon us as well as numerous regular visitors and a few pop-ins (not to mention if there were ever to be an investigation). So we do have to keep it pretty neat, (over)safe, etc.

 

Anyway, but I have met people who keep it *really* nice all the time and make it *seem* practically effortless.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

I do better some weeks than others---depends on how I"m feeling and what else is going on in our lives.....if I can get into a schedule/rhythm and keep it going then I can keep up pretty well.....easy to get side tracked though....

[MissKNG]

Yes, I think there are some people who can keep a neat and tidy house, prepare good meals, and homeschool their children. However, I assume that person has a spouse who takes care of all the home maintenance, car care, and all the other stuff that "the man of the house normally takes care of. The mom also does not work a job. If all that is the case, I think it can be done. That is not the situation AT ALL in my house. So, the house is a mess, but the kids are generally well fed and happy. It takes everyone in the family doing their part to make it all work.

 

Perhaps with some...earlier in the thread, I said I was one who keeps a tidy home, prepares good foods and homeschools. I also have a small PT work at home job, help a friend babysit, do some home care (dh has crazy work hours) and help my mother (she broke her arm last month). How do I do it?? I think having long days helps - my girls are up 15-16ish hours and just being efficient and moving without procrastinating. I enjoy having a full plate because I like to be busy. My dad is the same way - he likes to be busy and always has something going on.

[Rosie_0801]

Anyway, but I have met people who keep it *really* nice all the time and make it *seem* practically effortless.

 

According to my theory of reincarnation, the people who do can do this and manage sweet personalities are in their final incarnation.

 

Rosie

[Jean in Newcastle]

Some people are a lot better than I am. Oh well - my family is stuck with me.

[La Condessa]

There is only 100% of me and I can only split that 100% so many ways before something starts to suffer. I don't know how anyone could do everything 100%. At least not with out colapsing at the end of the day.

 

My mother in law does this, and always has--but she has told me about times when she had three small children, when she woke up curled in a ball in the middle of the floor with the baby asleep at her side, and the last thing she could remember being in the midst of some cleaning task.

[cindergretta]

 

If you enjoy that sort of work, then by all means do it. I refuse to judge other people by the their housekeeping skills. If I go into a super tidy house I think "wow, this person really likes to do that sort of thing." I don't think "wow, this person is morally superior to me."

 

This. :iagree: Most people who come into my home find it neat and clean and it is. It is not pristine or highly organized, but it is neat and clean. But I have several friends whose houses are disorganized and messy and sometimes dirty. And ya know what?! They are happy and content and have SO much fun! Kinda makes me envious because I miss out on things because I feel "responsible" for making sure "all my chores are done!" :lol:

 

I also agreed with the poster who said something about ruling the world if she only had 2 children! :lol: Oh, what I could do if I only had 2! (Huh, I'm a poet! :tongue_smilie: ) Anyway, back to the original thought - we are gone every single night with soccer (times 2 girls,) Girl Scouts (times 3 girls,) Cub Scouts, choir (times 2 children,) church, and violin & guitar lessons. We are in and out like nobody's business and we love it. We thrive on the "busy." But the house takes a hit now and then. But I can't stand dirt and disorganization, so we get it back in shape at the earliest convenience.

 

As for cooking, my dh handles the cooking, God bless him!!! And he cleans floors, tubs, and shower stalls. I don't think I have cleaned any of those three things in at least 12 years! :D And my dd15 is amazing about handling laundry. She is a gift, to be sure!

[Forget-Me-Not]

I'm not able to do it all, and I don't pretend to. Since I started HSing, I hire a lady to come in and deep clean twice a month :D And we've hired out the yard care for years.

 

I prefer the term 'homemaking' to 'housekeeping' anyway, because I am making a home for my family, not just keeping a house. Semantics, I know. But for me, it denotes that my priorities lie with my family. And yes, that includes a generally clean house, dinners made, etc. But it also means happy, healthy kids who are homeschooled. It also means that sometimes I take some ME time in order to preserve my sanity--whether that's vegging on the computer for a bit or eating out once or twice a week. It means that I sometimes have 3 overflowing baskets of laundry that need to be folded, but they get shoved to the bottom of the list yet again. It means that I have very obviously kid-created Halloween crafts hanging in my dining room window for all the neighborhood to see--Martha Stewart would probably cringe at them (and my circa 1990s lace valance :lol:), but my kids are proud of them and it was important for them to display them, so it was important to ME.

[Jean in Newcastle]

BTW - I could not vote. Obviously some people can do it all - they are gifted in this way and have circumstances that allow it. But I can't. So I wasn't sure if you meant that we are supposed to vote the obvious or if we were supposed to vote for our own situation.

[Renee in NC]

Yes, but it depends on your standards, your focus, your outside commitments, etc.

 

I get a LOT more done in my life when I don't visit this board!:lol:

 

My house is reasonable clean (I wish the walls got cleaned more often.)

 

The laundry stays mostly done.

 

We have decent meals daily, but dh cooks often.

 

Homeschooling gets done, even if it isn't the level I would like. I have 5 school-aged dc and 3 have language-based learning issues. A WTM education is not happening here (much to my dismay, but what can I do?)

 

We don't have a lot of "stuff" and the helps. My dd's have 2 Rubermaids of toys. My boys have Kapla blocks, 2 Rubermaids of toys, and WAY too much junk in the backyard.:glare: Not having a lot of stuff helps to keep things looking clean a lot longer. I am constantly purging because people give us stuff all the time.

[mytwomonkeys]

I'm no Martha Stewart, but my house is tidy and I make supper each night. The kids have chores though, so I'm not pulling it off alone.

[Danestress]

She was a successful business person. She was a writer, publisher, tv personality, model, stock broker, caterer. She worked incredibly hard long hours and built a successful business. If I want to compare myself to her and feel bad about myself, I will think about how small my bank account it, not how my linen closets look. She has bankrolled her daughter for many years and still employs her, and in my opinion, her daughter is a disgusting, tacky person.

 

Anyway, yes, I think most women who are not trying to earn an income can keep a basically tidy home and cook reasonable meals. It gets harder with more children, more square footage, and more crafts. I have a hard time keeping up and I do NO crafts.

[RoughCollie]

Some people are a lot better than I am. Oh well - my family is stuck with me.

 

And what a fortunate family they are! Don't go down this road -- you are a fabulous, loving person, and no one is stuck with you!

Edited October 22, 2011 by RoughCollie

[angela in ohio]

She was a successful business person. She was a writer, publisher, tv personality, model, stock broker, caterer. She worked incredibly hard long hours and built a successful business. If I want to compare myself to her and feel bad about myself, I will think about how small my bank account it, not how my linen closets look. She has bankrolled her daughter for many years and still employs her, and in my opinion, her daughter is a disgusting, tacky person.

 

Anyway, yes, I think most women who are not trying to earn an income can keep a basically tidy home and cook reasonable meals. It gets harder with more children, more square footage, and more crafts. I have a hard time keeping up and I do NO crafts.

 

Started to type a response, and then realized you ad said it exactly.

 

Martha was not a typical homemaker. I wouldn't use her as a reason to have to have a glorioous home, but even more I wouldn't use her daughter's words as a reason for not trying.

 

I said yes without making anyone crazy (I would say it's probably the opposite; thingks would be crazy and uncomfortable here if there was a mess.) I probably have different standards, though, as I prefer lived-in but tidy homes to super clean with frou-frou. I do keep things tidy and prepared, though, and I would consider our home clean. I also take care of food, but that is because I am trying to keep my kiddos (and dh and I) from SAD, so we eschew processed, ready-made, fast food meals. Instead, we go for simple, organized healthy meal plans, which makes it easy to keep up.

 

I don't have a spouse who helps with anything (he is doing something much bigger :D, so I am okay with that.) I also don't stay home all the time to do it; my dc are very active and I volunteer in whatever they are doing.

 

We have weekly meetings in our home, family parties, and relatives that stay for weeks on end. Things need to be welcoming and comfortable for them, and I think it is easier to function in an orderly home.

 

It's been easier since dc passed the preschool age, yes. I am not naturally an organized person; I am more the creative, ADHD, "start a new project and step over the old one" type person. I would happily skip doing the dirty dishes we needed for dinner in favor of hand painting a holday platter. :D However, I have adjusted to this life. The book Hidden Art of Homemaking helped a lot, as did Sidetracked Home Executives and Carol Barnier talks. I have created a home without much fluff and circumstance which is easy to care for, I raised dc who help without complicated charts and nagging from me, and I treat homemaking/mothering/wife-ing as a respectable occupation.

Edited October 22, 2011 by angela in ohio

[MissKNG]

Some people are a lot better than I am. Oh well - my family is stuck with me.

 

And my famiy is stuck with ME (and my Monk-ness)!:lol:

[Stayseeliz]

I think a lot of it has to do with your phase of life and how many kids you have. With 4 kids 10 and under, a husband who works all the time and the part-time work I do for him my house isn't going to be spotless. My kids' education and happiness is more important than a pristine house. You have to pick and choose. I have said "please excuse the mess" and I'm not ashamed of that. Some days it's a miracle if we're all clothed and fed at the end of the day.

[Janie Grace]

Hmmm, I voted no but I am not sure that is how I should have voted. I think I could do it all without making anyone CRAZY. But I think I would make people feel neglected for sure.

 

However, I homeschool 3 kids plus I have a preschooler plus I have a toddler. So yeah... they need me more than they need a perfect house or magazine-worthy food. But maybe if there were fewer kids, or they were older, I'd be able to achieve those things without neglecting them. At the same time, if I had more time, I don't think I'd necessarily devote it to cleaning/cooking. I'd rather volunteer or read a book or spend time with friends. I guess I'm weird like that. ;)

[Rhonda in TX]

I have two homeschooling friends that do this. I'm pretty confident that I know them well enough to know that they aren't making anyone "crazy". Me? I haven't mastered it yet.

[*Inna*]

I can't vote, but I remember pangs of guilt and feeling very inferior when I visited some of my acquaintances' immaculate and beautiful houses. Along with polite kids in matching outfits.

 

Then I chatted with them and learned that they have a housekeeper and a babysitter/mother's helper/doting grandparents taking the kids for hours or overnight.

[Tea 4 Three]

I don't ever respond to posts like this, but for some reason, this one caught my attention. I think there are so many variable factors (number of kids, ages of kids, husband's job, health of family members, living close to other relatives, additional workload, ability to hire outside assistance, etc.)

 

When I had two kids under 5, I was at the top of my game, homeschooled Kindergarten, worked a part time from home job, volunteered many hours at church...I did it all. My house was immaculate. Now with 5 kids (teens to toddlers), plus schooling extras, their activities, my part time job...I am sucking wind, even with a very helpful husband, well trained kids who do chores, and a 13yo who sometimes cooks better than me. Age makes a difference, mine and theirs, and I am resigned to the fact that I can't pull it all off at this phase in my life. It has taken me several years not to be frustrated with this and to realize that I don't want to miss out on these wonderful years because I am frustrated with the state of my house or my perceived vision of perfection. Someday, I will have my immaculate house back, and I know I will be missing my kiddos.

 

It is all about YOUR own phase in life, and living INTENTIONALLY in EVERY moment, double checking here and there to be sure my priorities are aligned correctly. I am always striving to improve areas I know are suffering, and eventually everything gets done or attended to in some manner. I learned from a wise homeschooling mom very early in my journey that to compare ourselves to others always does more harm than good. It is a struggle for me not to do this sometimes. I have had to give up reading many posts and blogs, and I have to work hard at keeping my focus on my own household. Otherwise I will defeat myself and not be the wife, mother, homemaker that I am intended to be.

[The Girls' Mom]

Honestly, I don't think you can do it all without making the people that live with you miserable. (Even if you think you aren't)

 

My mother was a complete neat freak. Her house was spotless. We were miserable. I felt like I was always "on" and had to worry more about keeping our house clean than actually living in it. Guests weren't really comfortable either.

 

I keep a fairly clean house, but we live here! There are messes quite regularly, and it's only REALLY clean about once a month.

 

Food....it's often served out of whatever it was cooked in, but it's usually homemade :)

[luvnlattes]

With homeschooling, a full-time job in itself, I don't see how.

 

:iagree:I may not have commute time but other than that, homeschooling is a full time job for me. Add to that the extra-curricular activities that take us out of the house 3 evenings per week, and I can't keep everything the way I'd like it. Our house is clean, but definitely has a "lived-in" look. Weekly meal planning keeps us eating homecooked meals, although simple is more my focus rather than elegant.

[leeannpal]

Some people can - but not me!

 

I once read a fridge magnet:

 

you can have a clean house

you can prepare great food

you can have happy kids

you can have a happy spouse.

 

Pick 3.

 

Yes, it is simplistic, and we are not totally in charge of other peoples happiness, but I think the sentiment is great.

 

:iagree: Because of the craziness lately, I've decided to prioritize even more. Keeping the kitchen and bathrooms clean and the floor vacuumed occasionally is abou the extent of my housekeeping lately.

[UnsinkableKristen]

It gets harder with more children, more square footage, and more crafts.

 

:iagree: This!

 

 

I had a very clean and well-oiled-machine type house when it was only the first two kids. After we added homeschooling, my standards dropped a little, then we added a third baby, now a fourth. The house is still clean, but I find that it is MUCH harder to not be uptight and irritated about it. I really struggle with finding a balance in making our house enjoyable for the kids to live in and clean enough for me to relax in.

 

I would be perfectly relaxed in a Martha Stewart-type house, but I know my kids wouldn't be. And I really have to remember that I'm not the only one living here :D. I never want them to remember their childhoods as "Mom was always cleaning and never sitting and playing" - you know?

[Ellie]

Yes, it's possible. I know people who do it, and they don't seem like clearn freaks and their dc aren't neglected in favor of the house.

 

I think homekeeping must be purposeful and directed. Many of us tend to try to catch up instead of staying on top of it, and we often decide it isn't worth it, because it really does take lots of brain power, lol.

 

Children will not be harmed if they have to always put their shoes away instead of leaving them in piles all around the house. They will not be harmed if they have to pick up their crayons and coloring books every.single.time they take them out. They won't be permanently damaged if they have to push in their chairs at the dining room table, or put their dishes in the dishwasher when they finish using them instead of leaving them in the sink. It only takes a few seconds longer...but it takes someone (parents, older siblings) to be focussed enough to instruct and correct.

 

And it's to the children's benefit if they can find their shoes without searching the house, if they don't have to worry about the dog eating the crayons that were left on the floor, push a button to start the dishwasher without taking 10 minutes to load it up...invite friends over on the spur of the moment without worrying about whether there will be room to play or being embarrassed because their home looks like a dog's breakfast.

 

JMHO. :)