Scarlett Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 I am heartbroken for my friend. Her mid 20 year old nephew killed himself last night. He texted her while we were in Bible Study which she read afterwards when we were at a restaurant having ice cream. It was nothing too dramatic...just 'thanks for being a really good aunt to me.'.....she showed it to me and said, 'something is wrong.' I kind of blew it off....told her he was probably just missing her. Got a call today from her...he was found this morning at 4 a.m. I am just so sad. I just can't believe it. She texted him last night and this morning and called his phone too....someone finally called her around noon to tell her he was gone. This boy's mother....my friend's sister....killed herself 6 years ago. I am so sad for the family. I just am in shock for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aquinas Academy Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Oh, Scarlett. So tragic. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 That's heatbreaking. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashfern Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 I am SO sorry for your friend, and will pray for her and all concerned. It is the most tragic kind of loss. My sister took her own life at age 30, so I do understand, but it is nearly impossible to explain unless you've been there. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 I am heartbroken for my friend. Her mid 20 year old nephew killed himself last night. He texted her while we were in Bible Study which she read afterwards when we were at a restaurant having ice cream. It was nothing too dramatic...just 'thanks for being a really good aunt to me.'.....she showed it to me and said, 'something is wrong.' I kind of blew it off....told her he was probably just missing her. Got a call today from her...he was found this morning at 4 a.m. I am just so sad. I just can't believe it. She texted him last night and this morning and called his phone too....someone finally called her around noon to tell her he was gone. This boy's mother....my friend's sister....killed herself 6 years ago. I am so sad for the family. I just am in shock for them. I am SO sorry for your friend, and will pray for her and all concerned. It is the most tragic kind of loss. My sister took her own life at age 30, so I do understand, but it is nearly impossible to explain unless you've been there. :grouphug: I very sorry for both of you. This hits very close to home for my family, too. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I am so sorry!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 How devastating. :( :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:How horrible! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Food4Thought Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live2Ride Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Oh my, how heartbreaking! My prayers go out to you all. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyndie Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 :grouphug: So tragic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted August 26, 2011 Author Share Posted August 26, 2011 :grouphug: So tragic. Thanks everyone. I had not known my friend for very long 6 years ago and didn't offer a lot of support then. Since then I've become really close to her and I know how devastating her sister's suicide was to all of them. I just met this nephew this past spring when he came for a visit....he seemed the picture of mental health....happy, joking, very involved in his congregation back where he lives....hard working, had a roommate....in fact he had a special trip planned to NYC next week. It is nearly inconceivable to me that this same young man took his life. He had recently asked the coronor for a copy of his mom's death certificate or report....whatever....he got the terrible details and I know that disturbed him as it would anyone. I just can't imagine that he would do this. :( I don't know what to think about the fact that he killed himself the same way his mom did....jumped from a high story public building. Also, his mom had battled mental illness for many many years. I don't think the family saw such signs in him. My friend did say that in the last two months his texts to her had gone from very high spirited and joking (sending copies of jokes and kidding around a lot) to more clipped responses. I just am in shock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patches Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Oh, that is so sad. I'm very sorry for your friend and her family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swimmermom3 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Scarlett, I am so sorry.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I'm so sorry.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovelaughs_times_three Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Oh, Scarlett! I am so sorry!! My heart and prayers are with you, your friend and everyone involved! :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homemama Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I'll be praying for you, your friend and the boy's family. So Sad! homemama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightly Salted Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I'm SO sorry :( praying for the family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the4Rs Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 Wow. :( This is just heartbreaking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 What a terrible loss. So sorry for your friend. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I am so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: How tragic. I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollie010 Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 So sorry. Praying for the family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 Oh my. :( I am so heartbroken for that family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3peasinapod Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 That's so heartbreaking. I don't know what I'd do. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 So, so sad. I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 So sorry, Scarlett. Prayers for you as you support your friend in her loss.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kchara Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 :grouphug: Oh how horrible. I'm so sorry for your friend and her family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I am heartbroken for my friend. Her mid 20 year old nephew killed himself last night. This boy's mother....my friend's sister....killed herself 6 years ago. I am so sad for the family. I just am in shock for them. My condolences and :grouphug: for your friend and their family. I also have a close family member who killed himself. there is no other pain like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 That's horribly sad! Suicides tend to run in families, partially because mental illness runs in families, partly because once the taboo of suicide is broken, some people find it more acceptable to do. I dread the day I have to explain to my children that my dad took his own life. I feel they're still too young (8 and almost 7) but within a couple of years they're going to start questioning the vague, but truthful answers I've so far given to their questions. Be supportive of your friend and don't be afraid to talk to her about it. Take your cues from her. There was nothing worse for me when I was ready to talk about my dad (not necessarily about his suicide, but memories of him) than having it followed by uncomfortable silence and then a topic-change by my friends who were very well-meaning and supportive, but truly didn't know how to handle my grief. Don't always leave it up to her to bring the topic up, but back off immediately if she doesn't want to talk about it. If you knew her nephew, share memories with her. What helped me the most was people sharing their memories -- especially stories I had never heard before. One aunt (married to my mom's brother and sort of the black sheep of the family) told me about how when she was a struggling, teen mom, married to my uncle who wasn't making much money at the time, my dad came over several times with groceries for her and asked her to keep it between them so it wouldn't hurt my uncle's pride. Out of all the things I didn't know about my dad, that touched me and helped me the most. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyofthree Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: This is so tragic. My prayers are with the family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I am heartbroken for my friend. Her mid 20 year old nephew killed himself last night. He texted her while we were in Bible Study which she read afterwards when we were at a restaurant having ice cream. It was nothing too dramatic...just 'thanks for being a really good aunt to me.'.....she showed it to me and said, 'something is wrong.' I kind of blew it off....told her he was probably just missing her. Got a call today from her...he was found this morning at 4 a.m. I am just so sad. I just can't believe it. She texted him last night and this morning and called his phone too....someone finally called her around noon to tell her he was gone. This boy's mother....my friend's sister....killed herself 6 years ago. I am so sad for the family. I just am in shock for them. :grouphug: I am so sorry. That is a horror nobody should endure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted August 27, 2011 Author Share Posted August 27, 2011 One aunt (married to my mom's brother and sort of the black sheep of the family) told me about how when she was a struggling, teen mom, married to my uncle who wasn't making much money at the time, my dad came over several times with groceries for her and asked her to keep it between them so it wouldn't hurt my uncle's pride. Out of all the things I didn't know about my dad, that touched me and helped me the most. This story made me tear up. How sweet. My friend and her husband and children have gone to her dad's house where two of her sisters are meeting up so they can all be together. I am glad they can all be together. They are so unsure of arrangements....since the boy's next of kin is his father and he is very very angry right now. My friend spoke to the police in the city where he lived and learned a lot that way. An autopsy was ordered and results should be back next week...but I would imagine a blood screen won't be back that quick right? No reason at all to suspect he was on drugs but I guess they have to check. I know that suicide does run in families and to me that is part of the shocking part...wondering who next might be at risk. I know my poor friend worries about herself, her remaining siblings and her own children. I think I mentioned earlier her sister had endured YEARS of mental illness but if this boy/man was suffering no one knew it. My poor sweet son, age 11 is convinced foul play is involved. Showing I believe how unnatural it is for us to consider someone could take their own life. Another grown friend suggested the same thing, but my friend talked to police and the details of what he did, along with the text she got the night before, pretty much proves it could be nothing but suicide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: I am so sorry! That's horribly sad! Suicides tend to run in families, partially because mental illness runs in families, partly because once the taboo of suicide is broken, some people find it more acceptable to do. I dread the day I have to explain to my children that my dad took his own life. I feel they're still too young (8 and almost 7) but within a couple of years they're going to start questioning the vague, but truthful answers I've so far given to their questions. Be supportive of your friend and don't be afraid to talk to her about it. Take your cues from her. There was nothing worse for me when I was ready to talk about my dad (not necessarily about his suicide, but memories of him) than having it followed by uncomfortable silence and then a topic-change by my friends who were very well-meaning and supportive, but truly didn't know how to handle my grief. Don't always leave it up to her to bring the topic up, but back off immediately if she doesn't want to talk about it. If you knew her nephew, share memories with her. What helped me the most was people sharing their memories -- especially stories I had never heard before. One aunt (married to my mom's brother and sort of the black sheep of the family) told me about how when she was a struggling, teen mom, married to my uncle who wasn't making much money at the time, my dad came over several times with groceries for her and asked her to keep it between them so it wouldn't hurt my uncle's pride. Out of all the things I didn't know about my dad, that touched me and helped me the most. My parents did not tell my sister and I that our Grandfather killed himself until we were in our twenties and my sister was depressed and her college friend brought all of the need from her house to my parents so my sister could not take them all. We had always been told he died of a heart attack. It made the truth harder to deal with. Don't put it off thatt long, and please, don't lie to your children about it. That was worse almost than learning about my grandpa; learning about the lie my family had kept up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I am so sorry :( :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blessed2fosteradopt Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I am so very sorry. Suicide is a devastating thing for all involved. A friend of mine took her life 6 months ago and her whole family is still asking why and wondering what they could've done. I will keep all involved in prayer. Blessings, Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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