Miss Manners would frown about this...what do you think?

[Julie in CA]

My 2nd ds graduated in June. Though ds is very functional, he has some moderate learning difficulties, and it was a very special occasion for us both. I think most of the people who attended the party know about ds's problems, and were also glad to participate in the celebration.

 

So...ds graduated and immediately went to work--like, out of the house by 5:30 a.m. and home at 6-7 p.m. every day. On the weekends, he works a full day almost every Saturday, and then he works about 4 hours on Sunday, before and after church.

 

Here's the problem. Since the party he's handwritten every single thank you note, but they have not been sent yet, because they need to be addressed. It's been painstaking, literally, for him to get them all completed, both because of how his brain works, because of difficulties with fine motor skills (writing), and because he's working so stinkin' many hours (at hard, physical, dirty labor).

 

Would it be fine, do you think, for me to help him with the addressing of the envelopes? If you don't think so, tell me, but be kind, ok? I'm conflicted about it. :bigear: Would you be offended if you received a note that had been addressed by someone else?

Edited August 20, 2011 by Julie in CA

[Jen500]

I would not be offended.

[Liza Lee]

I think it would be a great idea for someone else to address the envelopes.

 

I have kids with writing issues, so I totally understand.

[dani3boys]

How about buying some address labels, and either you or your son could type them up.

[goodgollycr]

If the note was written by your son I'm not sure i would notice who had addressed the envelope. I think it would be ok. Better to get them sent, right?

[abbeyej]

I think it would be perfectly alright. The fact that he's writing the notes himself, by hand is commendable. I can't imagine any rational recipient thinking twice about who addressed the envelope.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would roll my eyes a bit if the insides were printed (as in typed) or written by someone else. I would not roll my eyes or frown or in anyway mar my countenance if only the address were done by someone else. If there are a couple of people that you feel like do not know or understand his fine motor problems I might put just those aside for him to do.

[----]

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[Renthead Mommy]

Not at all. It's perfectly fine, especially in your son's case, to address the envelopes. Often, in oldend days with huge weddings, the bridesmaids would get together after the wedding and help the bride not just address, but write out the thankyou notes.

 

And in this day and age, people are basically just thrilled to be getting and actual, handwritten thankyou note. Especially if the sender has issues as your son has.

 

While I haven't recieved mine yet, I'm pretty sure Kate and Will didn't personally handwrite their thank you notes, much less personally address them!

[roxanne23]

.

Edited January 4, 2023 by roxanne23

[Sparkle]

I would be absolutely thrilled to get a handwritten thank you note, and wouldn't think twice about who addressed the envelope.

 

:iagree:

[NanceXToo]

Another "it's fine, I would not be offended" post from me. :)

[meggie]

I would not be offended. I don't think we've even gotten many thank you notes over the years; the fact that he wrote the notes himself is a big plus.

[MrsBasil]

I would not be offended at all.

 

Really, I can't imagine noticing that the handwriting on the envelope is different than the thank you note and putting any thought into it at all though. :tongue_smilie: Let alone getting worked up enough to be offended or thinking it's rude.

[Hwin]

I think the address labels would be a great option. But I wouldn't notice or care if someone else wrote my address on the envelope. I mostly just notice when I don't get a thank you note :P

[~Jo]

I wouldn't even notice if the writing on the envelope was different from the card.

 

I think it is wonderful that he is writing the thank you's....I don't think I've received any Thank You notes here in the past few years for graduation gifts that we have given. :001_huh:

[Denise in Florida]

I would be absolutely thrilled to get a handwritten thank you note, and wouldn't think twice about who addressed the envelope.

:iagree: I only receive about 1 thank you per 3 gifts (estimate) so a hand written note would stand out no matter how it was addressed.

[Julie in CA]

Thank you. :001_smile:

I will get started tonight, and then they can all go out on Monday.

[ereks mom]

How about buying some address labels, and either you or your son could type them up.

 

:iagree:

[Ellie]

Of course you could help him. Why would you imagine that Miss Manners would frown on it?:confused:

[DusksAngel]

I probably won't even notice, to tell the truth. Even if I did, it wouldn't be a big deal as he wrote the actual notes inside.

[kalanamak]

"Those that matter won't mind, and those that mind don't matter."

[Chris in VA]

Oh, I would have no problem AT ALL with that!

[Zebra]

If you're worried about what people might think, then print out address labels.

 

I can't imagine anyone who knows and cares about you would care either way. I certainly wouldn't.

[HeidiKC]

While I haven't recieved mine yet, I'm pretty sure Kate and Will didn't personally handwrite their thank you notes, much less personally address them!

 

Hmmm....interesting. I have no idea! But wouldn't it be pretty rude if they didn't? How does that work, I wonder. In any case, please let us know when you do receive yours.

[jewellsmommy]

"Those that matter won't mind, and those that mind don't matter."

 

Absolutely!

[Jean in Newcastle]

Hmmm....interesting. I have no idea! But wouldn't it be pretty rude if they didn't? How does that work, I wonder. In any case, please let us know when you do receive yours.

 

I think that heads of states and other people of that sort have personal secretaries or even "autopens" (autograph machines) that sign for them. :001_smile:

[Julie in CA]

Of course you could help him. Why would you imagine that Miss Manners would frown on it?:confused:

Because for most people, taking a moment to handwrite their note and envelope is one small way of showing their appreciation for a gift received. I don't want people to have the impression that he just didn't care to take the time, or that he was unappreciative of their gifts, or that his momma is somehow sheltering him so much that he isn't really mature enough to stand on his own two feet. :001_smile: He's a nice, hard-working young man, with a heart of gold, but I've spent many years helping him through the hard stuff, and I want to make sure I'm allowing him the privilege of being an adult with all of it's rights and responsibilities. For someone like me, who over-thinks everything to an extreme degree not heretofore known by man, :D it's one of those things I thought I'd get a group opinion on.

[Parrothead]

I do not think Miss Manners would frown upon an envelope written in a different hand or even typed out and batch printed.

[Liz CA]

No, I would not be offended. That he took the time and made the effort to write the inside and personalize the cards is great, given his difficulty.

Why don't you just run the envelopes through your printer?

In WORD, you can do labels and envelopes.

[Denisemomof4]

not at all. The hand written note is what's important, not the writing on the envelope.

[Harriet Vane]

Not offended in the least. The important thing is to get those notes out, to express the gratitude. The note inside is from your ds--the envelope is not that important.

[Tammyla]

I say help him out, and if you want to be incognito...use your printer.

[RanchGirl]

I don't see a problem with either you addressing or with printing them.

 

Our neighbor sent us a thank you for her grad gift this year. I did notice that the envelope was addressed in her mothers handwriting, but it didn't bother me. And this child is neither working nor challenged. I was impressed just to get a thank you in a timely fashion!

[4everHis]

If the note was written by your son I'm not sure i would notice who had addressed the envelope. I think it would be ok. Better to get them sent, right?

 

If he's already written the notes I'd say absolutely ok for someone to help him with the addresses.

[Word Nerd]

Would you be offended if you received a note that had been addressed by someone else?

 

:confused: It wouldn't even occur to me to be offended. I wouldn't concern myself at all with anyone who would be so small-minded as to be offended by a thank you note.

[reign]

I wouldn't mind in the slightest.

[cindergretta]

My grandparents were the height of prim and proper! And they hand wrote each thank you note and typed out all the envelopes! They used labels for the return address, too. No worries at all!! :D

[melissel]

Frankly, I would never notice, and if I did, I wouldn't care at all. Actually, I don't even care if I received thank-you notes, particularly if I was there to deliver the gift in person. So in my book, he's already way ahead :lol: