Teens/pre-teens in the church nursery

[Janie Grace]

How do you feel about teenaged or pre-teen (11-12) volunteers in the church nursery (serving alongside adults, not by themselves)? Does this turn you off or do you think it's okay? I'm helping someone organize a church nursery/toddler room and I am curious about how most moms feel about this. Thanks!

 

ETA: I am talking about people who have signed up and been scheduled to serve, not just randoms wandering in.

[MaryCatherine]

I'm very fine with it.

[SquirrellyMama]

I've never had a problem with it and I am hoping our nursery will let my soon to be 10 yr old dd help with me next year.

 

I think it is a great experience for them when supervised by the adults.

 

Kelly

[Lostinabook]

I think it's good. Dd would adore doing this, but I teach Children's Church so she helps me in there instead.

[SonshineLearner]

I DO NOT wanting pre-teens teens holding my babies w/o permission... goes back to the church nursery story I heard about (once removed from the person who had been in charge of the nursery).... where a young teen accidentally dropped little baby... and ... well... the baby died. I like to choose whether I let people hold my babies.... Of course... now my youngest is 8 :)

[mommaduck]

Not sure why it would be an issue.

[jewellsmommy]

I think it is fine, as long as the teen is not just constantly signing up for the nursery so that they can get out of worship service. As a parent of a child in the nursery, that would not be any of my business. As a nursery worker/scheduler or youth leader, then it would be my business, if that makes sense.

[Parrothead]

I"m not a big fan of church nurseries in general. But if one must separate from one's children during religious services then I'd only say yes to such young people supervising much younger children is if they have been trained a great deal.

[caitlinsmom]

I'd say yes. Our church does it once a month and it is always a hit with the kids and the teens. :) I think the nursery leaders like it too because it brings in a whole different atmosphere.

 

All I can say is everyone walks out of the room smiling and laughing. :)

[Cortana]

We have teens that volunteer as aides in our nursery and I enjoy having them there. We have rules (i.e. Have to be 13, cannot be left alone with the children, cannot change diapers, cannot pickup or carry around babies, etc). We have a ratio of 2 adults/1 teen. Most of us use the opportunity to teach the teens proper childcare, there are a couple adults that have to be warned about spending too much time yakking and leaving the teen to watch the kids.

[Aubrey]

*Wonderful.* I think teens should be included in more adult work--it helps them grow up, makes them feel included in the work of the church, & helps parents & nursery workers.

[Guest momk2000]

As long as they are working along with an adult volunteer, I see no problem with it.

[Murphy101]

I"m not a big fan of church nurseries in general. But if one must separate from one's children during religious services then I'd only say yes to such young people supervising much younger children is if they have been trained a great deal.

 

This is me too.

 

Personally, I've always thought society focusing on how young people are too young to have and care for their own children yet they are mature and old enough to watch other people's kids to be very contrary.

Edited May 28, 2011 by Martha
Word adjustment

[Heather in WI]

Most of the teens that I've been scheduled to work with haven't been that helpful to be honest. I'd rather have another mom in there with me.

[Heather in OK]

When supervised by adults, yes.

 

I did when I was a young teen. As an only child I didn't have younger siblings to help care for so working in the nursery allowed me to learn how to do that. It was also a doorway to doing babysitting work when I was in my late teens.

[6packofun]

I think it's great! If the teen is a regular attender/member and they are paired with a background-checked adult, why not? I agree about rotating and churches making SURE that all volunteers are rotated so that everyone has the opportunity to be in the service throughout the year.

[Janie Grace]

Thanks, everyone. That helps -- general consensus seems to be that it's fine, with clear guidelines on frequency, training, what youth can/can't do while serving, etc. To the person who asked what the problem might be with it, I'm not exactly sure. It's just that as I was combing the web for ideas, there seemed to be a lot of moms griping about too-young helpers in church nurseries (pre-teen/teen being "too young"). So I wanted to ask here and see if that sentiment was the norm.

[Dmmetler]

I'm glad my church allowed me to spend the second service each Sunday helping in the nursery (I sang in the choir 1st service, my parents sang 2nd service). That experience was invaluable. By age 16, I had a part-time/summer job as a teacher's aide in the child care program at the church. By age 18, I had an associates in Child Development. I'm currently an adjunct professor and curriculum writer in Early Childhood Music Education.

 

That church nursery (and babysitting, which I started by about age 11-12) experience has been very, very valuable in my life indeed.

[texasmama]

As long as there is always a supervising, assigned adult with the teens, I think it is a great idea.

[fhjmom]

I would be okay with it as long as the teens/pre-teens were in addition to any adults scheduled for the room. In other words, I would want the same number of adult workers regardless if the youth were in there or not. The youth workers should be extra hands, not a replacement for an adult caretaker.

[Avila]

My DD works in the church nursery at least once a month. We always have adult supervision, and all of our little ones are supposed to be walking to be in the nursery. But it is a big help to our nursery to have energetic tweens and teens.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

I did this at the age of 13. I LOVED babies (still do) and I was very good with them. There were always one or two other ladies, and no one ever had a problem with it.

 

At our church there is a young lady of 12 or 13 years who assists with her mother when it's her turn in the nursery. She is very sweet and helpful, the kids like her, and I've never had a problem with it.

[Murphy101]

Most of the teens that I've been scheduled to work with haven't been that helpful to be honest. I'd rather have another mom in there with me.

 

Yes. I'd be concerned about it becoming just more older kids to watch.

 

Also, I'd be absolutely clear that it does not fulfill service hours or has some kind of pressure to do it. Last thing I'd be interested in is a bunch of teens who don't even want to be there doing so grudgingly.

[NavyWifeandMommy]

I am all for it except our church says no due to legal reasons. whatever. I look forward to when we move so my daughter and help again with the babies and toddlers.

[Vanna]

My DD works in the church nursery at least once a month. We always have adult supervision, and all of our little ones are supposed to be walking to be in the nursery. But it is a big help to our nursery to have energetic tweens and teens.

:iagree::iagree:

 

Thanks, everyone. That helps -- general consensus seems to be that it's fine, with clear guidelines on frequency, training, what youth can/can't do while serving, etc. To the person who asked what the problem might be with it, I'm not exactly sure. It's just that as I was combing the web for ideas, there seemed to be a lot of moms griping about too-young helpers in church nurseries (pre-teen/teen being "too young"). So I wanted to ask here and see if that sentiment was the norm.

I guess there will always be some who don't prefer young ppl helping out, but I think it's a great experience for the helpers. I wonder if you could poll those moms that would be using the nursery to see how they feel about the subject.

[vonfirmath]

How do you feel about teenaged or pre-teen (11-12) volunteers in the church nursery (serving alongside adults, not by themselves)? Does this turn you off or do you think it's okay? I'm helping someone organize a church nursery/toddler room and I am curious about how most moms feel about this. Thanks!

 

ETA: I am talking about people who have signed up and been scheduled to serve, not just randoms wandering in.

 

I'm fine with it serving alongside adults.

Serving by themselves? Depends on the kid.

 

ETA: The cases where I would complain would be about specific kids -- left by themselves in the nursery. One was 12 years old! I knew I would not have been comfortable with that. Both because of how young she was and because of who she was.

Edited May 28, 2011 by vonfirmath

[Hannah C.]

In our nursery, I've noticed quite a few teens/even younger kids helping with the babies - but they don't change diapers, and only the older ones carry kids around, AFAIK. There are also extra adults, so it doesn't bother me. I wouldn't necessarily be okay with it anywhere else, though.

[Ellie]

No one under 16yo. It's just not OK. Guess I'm standing out in left field again. Such is life. :001_smile:

[FairProspects]

I'm not super comfortable with pre-teens/teens in the baby room, but the toddlers and preschool rooms are fine. Growing up at our church, you had to be late teens to be in the baby room even with adults and/or your parents present, and I can see why. The very little ones just take extra care. In fact, when I worked in a church daycare in college, I was surprised they let me work the baby room - it took awhile for me to accept I was finally old enough to be trusted there!

Edited May 28, 2011 by FairProspects

[Virg]

I think it is great! At our church they mostly sit on the floor and play with toys with the little ones, the adults usually don't have time to while tending to crying babies and teaching the lesson.

[LidiyaDawn]

How do you feel about teenaged or pre-teen (11-12) volunteers in the church nursery (serving alongside adults, not by themselves)? Does this turn you off or do you think it's okay? I'm helping someone organize a church nursery/toddler room and I am curious about how most moms feel about this. Thanks!

 

ETA: I am talking about people who have signed up and been scheduled to serve, not just randoms wandering in.

 

(haven't read the thread) ~ considering that my dd14 helps in the 2/3 year old room every Sunday at her church, I'm obviously a fan. She adores those kids and they all think she's awesome, as do the parents. :D

[LizzyBee]

Our church puts a lot of emphasis on teens serving in the church. They serve in the nursery, teach Sunday School, help with food pantry, play in the bands, act in the drama teams, and more. I think it really helps them feel like part of the church so that there's not a big transition when they graduate from high school.

 

Our church does have age limits for the various nurseries. I think teens have to be 16 to serve with bedbabies or toddlers, but they can be a little younger (14?) to serve with the 2 yo and up.

[TracieT]

I think it is wonderful, but I think there should be an age limit and I'm thinking around 12. I also would be careful about putting more than one kid in a room at a time unless the adults in the room are very good about telling teens to keep on task. (and know they are allowed to ask the kids to keep on task)

 

I think we discount kids in the church and it's a real shame. As adults we are always disappointed in how so many other adults don't want to serve. If we taught our kids from a very young age how important it is to serve, maybe we'd have more willing adults. Kids are part of the church, too. And they are tomorrow's church. We are doing them a disservice not allowing them to be a part of the church!

[JFSinIL]

I think, depending on the teen, that it is great. A help for the adult, and babysitting training for the girl. Plus the littles will probably adore them!

[LidiyaDawn]

I'm surprised by the number of replies that have said the teens should be 16+ or that they shouldn't be allowed to work with the babies, toddlers, no changing diapers, no carrying…. do teens not babysit (on their own) in your areas? :001_huh:

 

I mentioned earlier that my dd14 helps with the 2&3 year olds at her church ~ she also babysits regularly and has for a couple of years now. She's looked after kids of many different ages (some with special needs) and both the kids & parents at her church love having her work with the little kids… heck, the kids have to pried off her at the end of the class. :laugh:

[SunD]

There is a big difference between teens and preteens, and even among teen and preteen kids.

 

I would feel an 11yo should be doing things like teaching songs and fingerplays, helping with coloring or crafts, handing out snacks, or other helpful but non-caregiving tasks. I wouldn't want an 11yo responsible for rocking, changing, and comforting my baby. A 17yo could function much like an adult in a nursery setting, changing and helping with potty trips, comforting toddlers, mediating those little disagreements between kids, etc.

 

That really, really depends on the kid though. I know a few 16yos who I would never trust with a small child. I know a 12yo who could rock my baby anytime. The above is just a general feeling considering all the teens and preteens I know. I think the best way to go would be training and careful watching to see what their strengths are, before assigning them any duties in the nursery. One might be less mature and only able to hand out snacks or fetch supplies, while another the same age might be extremely responsible and able to take on a lot more.

[TXBeth]

Personally, I've always thought society focusing on how young people are too young to have and care for their own children yet they are mature and old enough to watch other people's kids to be very contrary.

 

Really? You don't see any difference between babysitting/assisting an adult for an hour or two....and parenting? :confused:

[Murphy101]

Really? You don't see any difference between babysitting/assisting an adult for an hour or two....and parenting? :confused:

 

Either they are capable of caring for the infant/toddler or they aren't.

 

If they aren't mature and old enough to care for their own, then why would I let them care for mine?

 

I don't have an issue with assisting an adult, but the nursery staff has to be very vigilant that is actually what is happening. Far too often ime, the adults are chitchatting and the kids are left to watch the younger kids. Or as a pp noted, the adults just end up babysitting Tweens too.

 

She asked opinions.

 

This is mine.

[actuary]

There is a big difference between teens and preteens, and even among teen and preteen kids.

 

I would feel an 11yo should be doing things like teaching songs and fingerplays, helping with coloring or crafts, handing out snacks, or other helpful but non-caregiving tasks. I wouldn't want an 11yo responsible for rocking, changing, and comforting my baby. A 17yo could function much like an adult in a nursery setting, changing and helping with potty trips, comforting toddlers, mediating those little disagreements between kids, etc.

 

That really, really depends on the kid though. I know a few 16yos who I would never trust with a small child. I know a 12yo who could rock my baby anytime. The above is just a general feeling considering all the teens and preteens I know. I think the best way to go would be training and careful watching to see what their strengths are, before assigning them any duties in the nursery. One might be less mature and only able to hand out snacks or fetch supplies, while another the same age might be extremely responsible and able to take on a lot more.

 

I agree that it really depends on the kid. I volunteered a lot in my church nursery as a teenager - and I worked in the infant room (and got a lot of babysitting jobs from that which was awesome too!). I loved rocking babies and playing with them. But the nursery coordinator assigned me more responsibilities and let more work regularly in the infant room with the same responsibilities as an adult volunteer because I had already proven myself with simpler duties and everyone knew that I was responsible and experienced. I have really fond memories of those years spent volunteering in the nursery, both of the time spent with the babies, but also the time getting to know the moms. It was so wonderful for me to have older women (just meaning older than me!) to be around and just learn from them.

 

So, I think it can be a really positive experience - and teens can take care of young children - but you just need to be careful about matching how much experience they have with what duties they have. And at least at my church, no one seemed to distrust me with their infant just because I was 16 or 17. I think it depends so much on experience and maturity. But my church nursery didn't put 13 year olds in with the infants. But if a 16 year old has several years of experience caring for infants I don't see why you should ban them from helping with infants just because of their age?

[LizzyBee]

I'm surprised by the number of replies that have said the teens should be 16+ or that they shouldn't be allowed to work with the babies, toddlers, no changing diapers, no carrying…. do teens not babysit (on their own) in your areas? :001_huh:

 

 

I never had teenage babysitters when my kids were babies. I had college students or adults. I don't think even mature teens always exercise the best judgment and I wasn't about to trust my infants with them. I know I'm in the minority on this, though.

[Ellesmere]

Thanks, everyone. That helps -- general consensus seems to be that it's fine, with clear guidelines on frequency, training, what youth can/can't do while serving, etc. To the person who asked what the problem might be with it, I'm not exactly sure. It's just that as I was combing the web for ideas, there seemed to be a lot of moms griping about too-young helpers in church nurseries (pre-teen/teen being "too young"). So I wanted to ask here and see if that sentiment was the norm.

 

The problem with it might be for people who have had inexperienced teens looking after their babies. I went to a church where you were expected to hand over your infant to whoever was on duty, even if that person had no experience with children. They did have rules and excellent security (always having an adult present, only adults change diapers, no men in the nursery) but if I didn't feel comfortable with either the adult or the teen on duty, I would decline.

 

Age isn't the basis for my assessment. I saw an adult woman walk away and leave a baby on the changing table. She was not in view of the baby and the infant could have easily rolled or wiggled and fallen to the floor. I can think of plenty of twelve year old children that would never have done that.

[snickelfritz]

I'm surprised by the number of replies that have said the teens should be 16+ or that they shouldn't be allowed to work with the babies, toddlers, no changing diapers, no carrying…. do teens not babysit (on their own) in your areas?

 

We are at a fairly large church. Maybe 500 kids and volunteers from birth to pre-k on a Sunday. Our policies were put in place with legal advice. Men aren't allowed to change diapers, etc....

 

I don't know if that's why, but we also only allow 11-15 year olds to be with 3 years and up. 16 and under may not change diapers. Older women have the first dibs on babies (because they have often been there for years and worked up to their preferred spots.). So, we don't even need teen helpers for anything under 2.

 

My dh works with 4 year olds and he gets some great ones and some he would rather didn't bother. The ones who sit and color with one child the whole time and don't take initiative to help.

[HeidiKC]

How old are the kids in the nursery? I don't think I'd like a child that young caring for my 3-month-old. But I'd be fine with a child that was at least 8 months or so.

 

For a child over a year or so, I can't even imagine why there'd be an issue, since adults are in the room as well.

[Ottakee]

Have them check their church's insurance for any rules.

 

We go to a smaller church and usually have 1-4 (but can up to 8-9) kids in the nursery (ages 0-2). We MUST have 2 adults in the nursery at all times--even if there is only 1 baby for insurance reasons. We do though have a teen helper in there as needed. They enjoy playing with the kids and the toddlers really love to have someone extra to play with them. Teens (13 and up) also help out in Children's Church which is ages 2 1/2-5--again with 2 adults in the room.

 

I cringe to think though of the lady that left me with her 6 week old baby for hours at a time--soon up to 8+ hour stretches when I was only 11. Thankfully it all turned out well and that "baby" is now a 29 year old young woman.

[1GirlTwinBoys]

At our church, the teens are not allowed to help in the infant nursery but can help alongside adults in the toddler room. I really think this is the way it should be. It helps keep the parents comfortable for those that are leaving babies, knowing only adults will be taking care of the them. :)

[beaners]

Age isn't the basis for my assessment. I saw an adult woman walk away and leave a baby on the changing table. She was not in view of the baby and the infant could have easily rolled or wiggled and fallen to the floor. I can think of plenty of twelve year old children that would never have done that.

 

I can also think of a lot of teenagers or preteens that I would be more likely to trust than some of the adult volunteers in the nursery. I'd take a teen over the frail elderly woman who was probably entering the early stages of dementia, for example. And in that same case, when there were teens in the nursery with her, they were distracted by making sure that she didn't hurt herself because she was so unsteady. They also needed to be the ones making sure that children only left with their parents. If a toddler tried to run out the door with another family, she couldn't remember whether or not it was their child.

 

If I'm not comfortable with someone, I'm not going to trust my child with them.

[NanceXToo]

Hm. My first thought (although I don't go to church and wouldn't put my baby in a nursery to begin with; although I would allow my older toddler/preschooler to go play there if said child was comfortable with it and I was comfortable with the people running it) was that I would have no problems with preteens and teens helping out as long as they were supervised by adults.

 

But then somebody commented on not wanting a pre-teen carrying their baby around and I thought yeah I wouldn't either! So although I wouldn't use that type of service for an infant anyway, if I WAS going to, I would NOT want some 11 or 12 year old walking around carrying my infant. No way!

 

Helping to play with my toddler or preschooler though? Sure.

[Sputterduck]

I would be very fine with it if I ever had a child in the nursery. I prefer to keep mine with me, though. I think it would be a great opportunity for young people to learn to care for young children.

[beaners]

Either they are capable of caring for the infant/toddler or they aren't.

 

If they aren't mature and old enough to care for their own, then why would I let them care for mine?

 

....

 

She asked opinions.

 

This is mine.

 

I always thought that a large part of the objection to teens having children of their own was their inability to provide for them at that stage of their life. I too see a difference between asking someone to supervise a child for a short period of time and asking them to support that child and care for it indefinitely.

 

Of course, the nursery isn't staffed during the traditional service at the church we attend right now. We usually have the only children at the service. If I want my children in the nursery, I'll be right there with them. Random teenagers watching my children are purely hypothetical at the moment. :) I did leave my oldest in the nursery with my younger brother when she was a baby and he was 16 or so.

[In the Rain]

If the nursery is adequately staffed by adults, I wouldn't mind seeing a tween or younger teen in the room helping. I don't think they should replace an adult. I also wouldn't want to see anyone "unsteadily" carrying around my baby or toddler. This applies to young people, old people, and anyone else who looked like they might drop a child!