T Baer Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 A friend of my ds11 has gotten his learner's permit recently and is learning to drive. My dh thinks it's okay for our ds to ride with his friend while he is learning to drive (his dad is his teacher and is in the car). what do you think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Why would he want to do that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 *I* don't want to be in the car with a student driver! Yeah, I know I'm eventually going to have to get over that, but there's no reason to subject the rest of my kids to it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T Baer Posted April 2, 2011 Author Share Posted April 2, 2011 out with. Both boys (my son and his younger friend, who is brother to the one learning to drive) were in the car while the older brother was learning to drive. They weren't aware that he was driving until the dad him to pull over and let him finish the drive home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 A friend of my ds11 has gotten his learner's permit recently and is learning to drive. My dh thinks it's okay for our ds to ride with his friend while he is learning to drive (his dad is his teacher and is in the car). what do you think? If I were the parent teaching I would not allow it. That student needs to be totally concentrating on learning the right things not impressing a friend. I would also not want my dc to be that distraction. Chances are you son will eventually be riding with him at some point. I would want that new driver to have been able to concentrate and learn all he needs to learn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 I would not allow it. We've taught two of ours to drive already. In the learning stage they need to be learning. We've had close calls. One more to go... (for us). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 A friend of my ds11 has gotten his learner's permit recently and is learning to drive. My dh thinks it's okay for our ds to ride with his friend while he is learning to drive (his dad is his teacher and is in the car). what do you think? I have taught kids to drive. I say No Frickin' Way!! Even I need a strong drink when we get back. That dad needs to have his attention on the kid and the road...not passengers. Period. Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 A thousand times, NO. I don't know the laws, but I think that in TX, when a kid has his learner's permit, it only allows those over the age of 18 to be in the car unless they are siblings. I'm not positive, tho, but I still think what your dh says is nuts. I was thinking this is the law in PA too, but I didn't write it because I don't actually know. There's NO WAY I would have non-family passengers in our car when our kids are learning to drive. And I certainly don't want them in another family's car either. I don't even want them there when a new driver has their "real" license until they've had a few miles under their belt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisamarie Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 A thousand times, NO. I don't know the laws, but I think that in TX, when a kid has his learner's permit, it only allows those over the age of 18 to be in the car unless they are siblings. I'm not positive, tho, but I still think what your dh says is nuts. :iagree: I don't think it's legal. And HECK NO! Not unless it was an emergency and blood and guts were involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 In GA only siblings are allowed to ride with new drivers. I think that having a car full of kids is distracting to the driver. And regardless - NO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Ok, so let me get this straight, people are dead against having someone in the car, but the new driver is allowed on the road? :001_huh: I wouldn't, but I'm paranoid. But based on what I've said above I don't know what kind of argument I have. When there are fewer people in the car, especially teens or kids (who have no idea about the level of concentration needed to learn to drive) there are fewer distractions (BIGGEST issue) and fewer lives put at risk in the case of an accident (generally due to the BIGGEST issue). A brand new driver has to learn somewhere, somehow, so yes, they are allowed on the road, but I want them thinking about their driving, not who's saying what in the back or passenger seat. This goes for a learner's permit or a new "regular" driver. Once they have more experience, I'm less concerned. As a mom I'll always have some level of concern, but experience really does help in driving situations. We've trained three drivers so far (one was a foreign exchange student, the other two were my two oldest boys). The most risky time is when they are within their first year of driving. Half of that is with a permit, the other half is on their own. Once they are on their own it really does take some maturing for them to realize they still need to be safe and paying attention even without mom or dad right next to them. My most reliable middle son got a ticket for careless driving (not speeding) the 2nd time he went solo. His problem? He was talking with his brother and not paying attention. There was no accident, but it caught a cop's attention. In a huge way, it was the best thing that could have happened to the lad. I think the cop knew this too. If the cop hadn't been there/seen it/enforced it who knows how lax junior could have been and what might have happened thereafter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 I did not allow them to drive if I had to transport other kids (outside our family). Not that they were bad drivers, but more as a safeguard for us and the other child. Just the way we did it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 No way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 I wouldn't want my dds doing it. That said when I took driver's ed in TX it was never just me and the instructor. There were always at least two other students in the car. So, it was always like I was driving my friends around. Do they now only allow one student / one instructor or are we just talking about parent taught driver's ed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geek Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Oh my goodness. Your thread title makes my stomach hurt. I am soooo dreading this particular part of parenting. :leaving: If I put my head in the sand, will it go away? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Oh my goodness. Your thread title makes my stomach hurt. I am soooo dreading this particular part of parenting. :leaving: If I put my head in the sand, will it go away? I tried that. Unfortunately it didn't work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnitWit Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 I always kind of viewed not allowing passengers as protecting the student driver. I KNOW they would not be able to live with it if they had an accident and the passengers were injured or killed. I witnessed this grief when I was a teen and a friend was in the situation of having to live with the fact that her driving resulted in permanent damage and a near death of a passenger. I have lost contact with her, but as an adult in her 30's, she still was not driving. :( (By choice) I agree with the thought that a learner needs to completely focus on learning with few distractions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 I have taught kids to drive. I say No Frickin' Way!! Even I need a strong drink when we get back. That dad needs to have his attention on the kid and the road...not passengers. Period.Faithe I haven't read the rest of the replies, but I totally agree with Faithe. Teaching kids how to drive has taken years off my life (and my teenagers learned that Mama could swear like a sailor when she needs to). The younger kids would just be an unnecessary destraction to the learning driver and the dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 In most states it is illegal to have someone under the age of 18 who is not a sibling in the car. Check your states laws. In any case, um NO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngieW in Texas Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 I did have my other kids in the car with my oldest while she was still on her learner's permit, but this was after MANY MANY hours of driving practice. My dd had actually passed the number of hours that Texas required for getting a driver's license, but not the number of hours that Driver Ed in a Box required. I started having my oldest drive us everywhere we had to go that she had to go to also. I just started driving practice with my 15yo yesterday. It is easier the 2nd time around. I already know where the good places are to practice. I'm not nearly as nervous. It actually took me two hours to leave the house on the day I took my oldest to get her permit. I had to keep running back to the bathroom. I was sure that I was going to puke all over everything. I didn't have that this time around at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Sure. As long as there is a responsible adult in the front seat I see no problem with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Yeeeah, that wouldn't be happening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Okay, for all those who are saying it is illegal, I have now checked 4 different states who have had someone say they are not allowed to have other passengers other than siblings in the car. IT IS NOT TRUE in any of those states. The restrictions in every state I checked (yes, from the ones above that were specifically mentioned.) were the same. A person age 21 or over in the front passenger seat and no driving between 11p.m. and 6 (one state was 5)a.m.. Passengers are not mentioned at all. Therefore, there are NO restrictions on passengers. I have found that many, many people assume they know driver's license restrictions and are misinformed. Usually, I am arguing that they are letting their kids do something that is illegal on a restricted license (at 16). There there ARE restrictions on passengers as long as there is not someone over 21 in the car. Of course, I haven't checked every single state, but for the most part having passengers in the vehicle with a learner's permit is NOT ILLEGAL. That aside, for me it depends on how long they have had their permit. Someone who has just gotten it? No. Someone who has had it a while? I would be fine with it. We transported other kids while my learners drove. I did ask the parents to make sure it was alright. Basically, "I don't mind taking Y, but Z will be driving. It is up to you. I don't have any problems with her being in the car." Not once did a parent not allow the kid to go with us. Then again, they probably trust my judgement on whether or not my kid drives well enough to have passengers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbollin Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 . Check your states laws. In any case, um NO. :iagree: read the state laws where you live about the permit and graduated licenses for those under 18. You might be surprised to find out what is permitted and what isn't. It is distracting to the new driver. In our case, we didn't even allow oldest to drive with siblings in the car until oldest was comfortable enough for it and the siblings were willing to just sit and not say anything during the trip. and I'm getting less nervous being in the front passenger seat with my oldest. :) -crystal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetobeme Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 I did not allow them to drive if I had to transport other kids (outside our family). Not that they were bad drivers' date=' but more as a safeguard for us and the other child. Just the way we did it.[/quote'] this is how we handle it, also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbollin Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Okay, for all those who are saying it is illegal,. here is TN for a license. having others is permitted, but there are restrictions. http://www.state.tn.us/safety/driverlicense/gdlfaq.htm#q6 and for learner's permit, here are restrictions http://www.state.tn.us/safety/driverlicense/gdlfaq.htm#q4 Is it illegal to have unrelated passengers? maybe not. But it may not be a wise thing to do with a new driver on a permit for the driver's sake. Also, in my state, once they get the 16 y.o license, it looks iffy about unrelated passengers who don't have their own license and all of that, so why start allowing it at one age and then have to take it away a year later? laws are going to vary state to state. -crystal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 here is TN for a license. having others is permitted, but there are restrictions.http://www.state.tn.us/safety/driverlicense/gdlfaq.htm#q6 and for learner's permit, here are restrictions http://www.state.tn.us/safety/driverlicense/gdlfaq.htm#q4 Is it illegal to have unrelated passengers? maybe not. But it may not be a wise thing to do with a new driver on a permit for the driver's sake. Also, in my state, once they get the 16 y.o license, it looks iffy about unrelated passengers who don't have their own license and all of that, so why start allowing it at one age and then have to take it away a year later? laws are going to vary state to state. -crystal :lol:Yep. I know them well. :lol:I just wish my kids friends' parent's did. They keep thinking my girls can drive their kids places. Nope. They already have their one passenger, their sister or brother. Most people insist it is siblings plus one non-related passenger. Others think they can take as many siblings as they wish. Nope. Just one unless it is to a school function. Honestly, they have put so many rules and regulations on it and keep changing them that it is ridiculous. I don't actually mind the one about the one passenger for the first year. But, that they do not allow me to use my teen driver as my taxi for my own kids does annoy me. I mean, my kids have been having to take two cars when they go to the theater. I find that ridiculous with the price of gas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancer67 Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 No way. I am on my second child now learning how to drive. And FWIW, she is 18. That is our rule here. At 18 you can get your license. She had her permit at 17. The laws here state that if you are under 18, with a license, you are not allowed to have anyone in your car under the age of 18 at all. Period. For 6 months. 18 and over, you have to wait 6 months to have any non-licensed passengers in the vehicle. I would never think to put anyone else in the car while my daughter was learning to drive, except me or her father. And like someone said, it takes years off your life when they learn to drive.:confused: Personally, I think getting a permit at 16, and driving at 16 1/2 with drivers ed is way to young. But that is another topic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maeintx Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 To answer the OP. I would say no because I'd worry about the younger sibling/friend distraction factor. My ds recently attended Driver's ed through the school. He had other teens in the car that were signed up for the course with the instructor so it is not illegal when in Driver's Ed. Once he earned his license, then he had driving restrictions and could only have 1 non-sibling in the vehicle with him under the age 21. Just our opinion- but we had him hold his learner's permit for a year and not get his license until he was 17-1/2. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Nope. Any distraction, however small, isn't good for the student driver. And then there is the whole "what if something happens" insurance stuff to worry about. Maybe when the learner has his permit, then a few rides but there is just so much to take in while learning to drive that concentration is essential. (When we were teaching our son to drive, only one of us would be in the car at a time so that there wouldn't be unnecessary conversation.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bairnmama Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 I'll be a dissenting voice. I personally don't see a problem with it. My dad would often take my friend with us when he was helping me learn how to drive even before I had my permit. She was learning to drive also and her parents didn't have time to work with her so he took us both and let us take turns driving his car on some stretch of open road. I think that as long as the Dad is in the car and your son knows how to behave as a passenger it might actually be a good thing. Your son would get to see how much a new driver actually has to pay attention and exactly what things he needs to observe that he might not think about now. The other kid gets a chance to practice having passengers with Dad around to keep a handle on the situation and cement what is and is not acceptable while driving. Of course, it would depend on what the traffic is like and what time of day they are driving. I wouldn't feel comfortable with it say in Houston proper or on the interstate.... but just around quiet city streets and not heavy traffic, sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 The laws here state that if you are under 18, with a license, you are not allowed to have anyone in your car under the age of 18 at all. Period. For 6 months. 18 and over, you have to wait 6 months to have any non-licensed passengers in the vehicle. So what happens if you have a child? Someone who is, say, 22 and gets their license…has to wait SIX MONTHS before they can drive with their own child(ren) in their car?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 As for the original question - I wouldn't really mind if it was just driving around the neighbourhood (our housing area = quiet, slow streets)…but downtown, highways, that's different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbeygirlsouth Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 A thousand times, NO. I don't know the laws, but I think that in TX, when a kid has his learner's permit, it only allows those over the age of 18 to be in the car unless they are siblings. For good reason IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancer67 Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 (edited) So what happens if you have a child? Someone who is, say, 22 and gets their license…has to wait SIX MONTHS before they can drive with their own child(ren) in their car?? And this is why there has been an uproar with the laws. But this law has been in place for a while now with no plans on changing it. If the person over 18 has a child, just getting their license, you better make sure you have an over 18 licensed driver in the car with you driving for at least 6 months if you have any other unlicensed drivers with you. I forgot to add that you can have unlicensed persons in the car, as long as you have someone in the car with you that is over 18, and has been driving for 6 months or more. If you get stopped, you will lose your license for a year. Under 18 with a license, nobody is allowed in the car under the age of 18 period. If you have any passengers, they need to be 18 and over and driving for at least 6 months. Edited April 2, 2011 by dancer67 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Absolutely not! #1. I don't want my kid to be a distraction. #2. Why on earth would I put my kid into a huge hunk of metal moving at full speed down a crowded road (or freeway) with a driver who has almost no experience? #3. I don't want the other kid to have to shoulder the responsibility for the safety of my kid should something go wrong. #4. Having an adult in the front seat does *absolutely nothing* to prevent errors in judgment due to lack of driving experience. FWIW, I don't allow my dc to be a passenger in the car with anyone who has less than two years of driving experience, even if it's their sibling. So yeah, the learner's permit kid only gets to drive when it's convenient and when we can be alone. It's worth a bit of inconvenience to avoid having my kid who's learning a new skill also be responsible for the safety of their siblings. We know a kid who's younger brother died when he made a driving mistake--I don't think that kid will ever be truly happy again. Ever. I minimize that possibility of that happening in my family as much as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Absolutely not. We are on our 5th student driver and "I" don't like being in the car. Nevermind a friend or sibling of a friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 So what happens if you have a child? Someone who is, say, 22 and gets their license…has to wait SIX MONTHS before they can drive with their own child(ren) in their car?? And this is why there has been an uproar with the laws. But this law has been in place for a while now with no plans on changing it. If the person over 18 has a child, just getting their license, you better make sure you have an over 18 licensed driver in the car with you driving for at least 6 months if you have any other unlicensed drivers with you. I forgot to add that you can have unlicensed persons in the car, as long as you have someone in the car with you that is over 18, and has been driving for 6 months or more. If you get stopped, you will lose your license for a year. The laws (like that) have swung too far in the other direction, IMO. An adult with a license, not being able to drive their own kids is ridiculous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancer67 Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 The laws (like that) have swung too far in the other direction, IMO. An adult with a license, not being able to drive their own kids is ridiculous. The state here feels that age does not matter. Experience does. There were several fatal accidents involving over 18 newly licensed drivers with unlicensed people in the car, many were infants. This is what prompted them to change the laws. Not sure what difference it makes having someone in the car who has a license for 6 months. This is just one of those laws that the state feels they have in place to "protect" us. I cannot even go down this road. No pun intended. The under 18 law I agree with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 I did not allow them to drive if I had to transport other kids (outside our family). Not that they were bad drivers' date=' but more as a safeguard for us and the other child. Just the way we did it.[/quote'] This is our policy as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Just read the OP. I'd rather my kid lived. Unlicensed drivers, no way in Hades. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abigail4476 Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 I vote no. My dd15 recently got her permit, and she only drives her Dad around while she's practicing. Her brother and sister aren't allowed in the vehicle, mainly so that they won't distract her from the task at hand. Secondly, there is always the increased risk that a new/learning driver can have an accident. Reduce the risk - have only those people absolutely necessary in the vehicle. Why is there even a need for the 11 year old to ride along? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate CA Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Not at first - no way. However, once they learn to drive and have driven with my dh or me for a while, I will probably have to let them drive at least some of us around. In CA, a student has to have a minimum of 50 hours of behind the wheel practice (10 hours at night) before they can get their license. At some point, we will probably have to do so in order to get the 50 hours. I am not sure. I will wait as long as possible though, and would not choose to do it for fun with another family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mynyel Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Dancer what state are you in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary in VA Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 I have taught kids to drive. I say No Frickin' Way!! Even I need a strong drink when we get back. That dad needs to have his attention on the kid and the road...not passengers. Period.Faithe :iagree:and I don't drink :001_smile: I don't like driving with my new driver dd. It's better when her dad sits in the front and I sit in the back and try to ignore what's going on. Other passengers, especially kids, could be a distraction. And the law may not allow non-family members under 18. Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 We decided long ago that my kids would not ride with anyone who did not have an entire year driving with their very own full license under their belt. Even then, i have automatic veto power, based on who the driver is. When I am teaching teens to drive (I'm on my third), I only allow the teacher and student driver in the car until the student driver is very practiced. The other siblings cause a level of distraction that is difficult for a very inexperienced driver to handle well. We do a lot of highway driving, so perhaps that is why I'm as cautious as I am, but i just don't see the point of endangering other riders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 (edited) I wouldn't want my dds doing it. That said when I took driver's ed in TX it was never just me and the instructor. There were always at least two other students in the car. So, it was always like I was driving my friends around. Do they now only allow one student / one instructor or are we just talking about parent taught driver's ed? Here at our school in PA it is just one student and the instructor. It used to be more way back when, so I do think the law has changed - at least in our state or at least with our school (or perhaps schools in general - due to insurance perhaps?). With the saving money kick, I can't see them making a change like that without having been forced to do so. Edited April 2, 2011 by creekland Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cedarmom Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Ok sounds like you need at one person to dissent from the no vote. I let my son (while there was an adult also) drive with a friend in the car. I guess my question would be How long has he had the driver's permit? How responsible is he? Is the adult in the car aware enough to tell anyone to stop distracting if they are? My son had been through driver's training and driving for about 4 months before we had his friend in the car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 NFW. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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