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Update on housing situation; prayer re-focus

Joanne

By Joanne,
in General Education Discussion Board

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Joanne

Joanne

Posted
Posted

My DH and I have decided that it's not worth fighting beyond what we've done. We have a letter in to the foreclosure attorney firm, an inquiry from the Texas Attorney General and an inquiry from Senator John Cornyn.

 

But, really? This house if 35 years old. It needs a new roof, flooring, reconstruction from a leak in the master bath and landscaping.

 

I am not actually legally obligated to pay; my responsibility was discharged 4 years ago in my bankruptcy and I never reaffirmed (I just kept paying).

 

I have been diligent, honorable and thorough. I can't *do* anymore than I've done (short of coming up with the total arrears, but the Main Event of the World Series of Poker is past ;)).

 

I am done.

 

After writing my papers on Monday, I went to play free poker at a venue I used to work for. A friend we've known for years now asked me what was the matter. I told him. He asked me to leave the tournament to talk to him. His parents, who live in Austin, have an investment home in a city near here. They've had trouble keeping renters. It hasn't sold. The home is less than 3 years old. It's one story, 3 bedroom with a "den" that has doors that can close. They don't call it a bedroom because it doesn't have a closet. It has a formal living, formal dining. It has an open kitchen/family room with a fireplace. It is very cozy compared to this house, but I have too much house for the amount of hours I have to care for it. My current neighborhood is going downhill, this other house's neighborhood is not. I have a graduate school friend who supervises the pools in that area of the metropolitan Houston region; she adores my kids and would hire my son without hesitation to train for lifeguarding this summer.

 

We went to see it yesterday. I felt not one moment of regret in thinking of leaving this home. I felt excited and hopeful of a fresh start. We weren't able to go in, but could see the whole home through windows.

 

It is a bit of a commute to my graduate school, but it's not bad for my teaching job. I'd be able to work something out for my tutor/private student.

 

The owners of the home are coming to town this weekend. They might even be willing to write a lease/purchase contract.

 

So, we are thinking that it's time to let go. To clean up, to have a massive garage sale. To use those funds for a deposit and maybe a new fridge. To stay in this house for long enough to get the deposit and first month on this other home, should that work out.

 

I am feeling a bit unworthy. There is a LOT of shame associated with foreclosure. It's a bit hard to wrap my brain/heart/soul around the thought that I could land on my feet after all this and end up in a possibly better situation. I have a few mental health people I can call on to help me reframe that.

 

If Chase responds by lifting the foreclosure based on current activity, fine. I'd still accept an executed, permanent modification. But if it doesn't come, maybe there is not only hope, but maybe there is even better.

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Scarlett

Scarlett

Posted
Posted
My DH and I have decided that it's not worth fighting beyond what we've done.

 

I have been diligent, honorable and thorough. I can't *do* anymore than I've done

 

:grouphug: I know how hard you've worked to save the house.

 

I am done.

 

 

I am feeling a bit unworthy. There is a LOT of shame associated with foreclosure. It's a bit hard to wrap my brain/heart/soul around the thought that I could land on my feet after all this and end up in a possibly better situation. I have a few mental health people I can call on to help me reframe that.

 

If Chase responds by lifting the foreclosure based on current activity, fine. I'd still accept an executed, permanent modification. But if it doesn't come, maybe there is not only hope, but maybe there is even better.

 

I feel the hope for you! Exciting times ahead.

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Halftime Hope

Halftime Hope

Posted
Posted

Praying for you, that you will soon see the completed work that G-d is orchestrating.

 

Sometimes He has to bring us to the end of what seems logical and right, when we are trying our best to be honorable and diligent, to give us something that He wants us to have or to meet our needs.

 

That's how He provided for $20K worth of LD therapy for my kids, so, I've BTDT.

 

:grouphug:

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MariannNOVA

MariannNOVA

Posted
Posted (edited)
:grouphug:

 

You've got to do what is best for you and your family.

 

:grouphug: I know how hard you've worked to save the house.

 

 

 

I feel the hope for you! Exciting times ahead.

 

Sometimes hope comes from totally unexpected places.

 

:grouphug:

 

Praying for you, that you will soon see the completed work that G-d is orchestrating.

 

Sometimes He has to bring us to the end of what seems logical and right, when we are trying our best to be honorable and diligent, to give us something that He wants us to have or to meet our needs.

 

That's how He provided for $20K worth of LD therapy for my kids, so, I've BTDT.

 

:grouphug:

 

:grouphug: Wishing you the best.

 

Joanne do work on the reframing of thought. You've given it your all and done all you can do with integrity and perseverance. Take the new house as a blessing and move on. We'll keep you in prayer.

 

:iagree:I hope you can let the shame and guilt go. Follow God's plan as He works it out. Closing some doors but opening new windows!

 

Could you save Titanic by bailing with a bucket? Just get on the lifeboat, Joanne. This economy is beyond one person.

 

 

What they said. Just keep swimming!:):grouphug:

Edited by MariannNOVA
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Mejane

Mejane

Posted
Posted
Joanne, you've worked hard to save your home and with more honor than many, many others. It seems like you've really done everything you could. :) Go to your new house and enjoy it. It's time for a new start. Enjoy it and let go.

 

My thoughts exactly. Keep looking forward.

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Harriet Vane

Harriet Vane

Posted
Posted

It sounds like you have thought this through thoroughly, logically, and well.

 

There is no shame in this course of action. ALL of the shame belongs squarely on other shoulders. You did not create this situation, and you have done your best to work it out with unethical people and businesses.

 

I pray God makes the path clear and gives you peace as you walk forward.

 

:grouphug:

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Tap

Tap

Posted
Posted

You have tried so hard to make it right with the bank and to avoid foreclosure that if there is any shame to go around, it is on the banks side, not yours.

 

 

You know, though, I have a feeling that this is what was supposed to happen. I really believe that sometimes our plans on this earth, are not what Gods plans are. Sometimes, God puts opportunities before us and when we don't choose those opportunities He gets a bit more forceful in the presentation of our options. Finally, if we don't choose the opportunity, he chooses it for us. He makes it the only option, taking away the last little thread that holds us to something that is anchoring us to the wrong place.

 

In this instance, you didn't go looking for this opportunity, you had this land in your lap. You didn't go looking for a way around leaving your houses.. You didn't try to jump out of your mortgage the first chance you got. You are having to have it ripped from your hands, as you fought tooth and claw for it. Just now, days from it leaving, you have finally found some peace around letting it go.

 

This may be less about you...and more about God providing for this other family. You may just be an opportunity that God sees is finally ready to let go of the past and move on to your future. So, he put you in contact with someone that you can help.

 

 

 

I believe that God is working on our hearts in this same way right now. We have talked about moving several times over the past but we stayed due to our relationships with neighbors. I even made a post this summer about moving and asked for help deciding. Most everyone agreed, good neighbors are priceless. FFWD 3 months. My son has been falsely accused of robbery by one of these great neighbors (ones that don't know us but still were nice to live by), and now we are finally ready to GO. It is like God had to hit us over the head with a bag of bricks to get us to see that it is time to go. It is hard, we have some other neighbors who we are really going to miss. Now, I finally have peace about moving and I do see that is a gift from Him to speed my healing over it all.

 

 

I hope this opportunity works out for you and yours. If not this house, then another that gives you a warm, safe place for your family.

 

I will pray for your guidance through this time and for a sense of peace to continue for all of you as you are led to your next destination.

 

~Tap

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Colleen in NS

Colleen in NS

Posted
Posted (edited)
I have been diligent, honorable and thorough. I can't *do* anymore than I've done (short of coming up with the total arrears, but the Main Event of the World Series of Poker is past ;)).

 

I am feeling a bit unworthy. There is a LOT of shame associated with foreclosure. But if it doesn't come, maybe there is not only hope, but maybe there is even better.

 

Gosh, Joanne, I've read bits and pieces of your story ever since you were Joanne Single Homeschooling in Texas - you have worked HARD, girl!!! I hope this doesn't sound bad, but now I hope for you that this other house or some other (better!) housing situation presents itself to you soon!!! :D

 

Sometimes hope comes from totally unexpected places.

 

:iagree: wholeheartedly. This is smaller than your situation, Joanne, but this past year a new friend (via God, I believe) has given me HOPE once again, in so many ways. I'd seen her around church for a couple of years, but she was being folded up among people I didn't really hang around with. And anyway, I'd pretty much given up hope for now of having a female friend again with whom I could really laugh and share deeply. I had those kind of friends years ago when I worked with YWAM, and I missed that terribly. Anyway, I believe God gave me a very unexpected gift in her, starting when we suddenly clicked one day at a children's birthday party. We've hit it off ever since then, and have had a lot of fun, tears, and laughter together in, oh, 10 short months. What an unexpected blessing she is. And that hope has given me the courage to try again with getting to know some other ladies in my church (pretty much my only social circle at the moment, lol) whom I've admired from afar, after a rocky situation a few years ago that shook my feeling of "friend-worthiness." I hope for new things for you.

 

This economy is beyond one person.

 

:iagree:

 

:grouphug: to you, Joanne. Here's hoping there really is something great for you around the next corner!

Edited by Colleen in NS
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Denisemomof4

Denisemomof4

Posted
Posted

Joanne, I know your heart is breaking. I don't understand having ANY shame in foreclosure, especially at this time in the USA. But I can't understand because I haven't been there. I can say that I would be absolutely DEVASTATED because my entire heart and soul has been put into my house. (well, not really but you know what I mean.) ;)

 

As sad as I am for you at this time, I'm also excited because it truly sounds like a blessing is right around the corner. To leave behind a place that's holding you back, a place you don't have the money to fix up, etc. and have this new situation thrown at you? I'm excited for you!!!

 

I've had friends lost their house YEARS ago due to bad money management. They were so sad to lose their little haven and so ashamed that they caused it. When their house was foreclosed on, it was the worst day of their life. I saw them a couple of years later (they now live in ME, hours away from me) and they were renting an absolutely GORGEOUS Victorian home. And they were VERY happy. I saw them a couple of years after that and they had bought this tiny house but added onto it. It was STUNNINGLY beautiful!!! Their dream home for sure, one they will stay in until they can no longer live in a home. The construction process took YEARS because they decided that no matter what, they would NOT mismanage their money again. (I know your situation is different, I'm just sharing how they are in a better place now.) He did all the work himself and they paid for the materials as money was available. They don't make much money at all but they are now living in an absolutely breath taking home. So although they were devastated when they lost their house, they went on to bigger and better things.

 

It sounds like that may be the case for you. Even if this house doesn't work out, there WILL be light at the end of the tunnel.

 

You've been through a LOT already, Joanne. You'll make it through this and you're going to be just fine. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

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nelewaf

nelewaf

Posted
Posted

Joanne,

 

A new Chapter will begin in your new place. Know that all your goodness, and good intentions are not for naught; your goodness will come to be in this new home. Be Strong, and smile. Prayers are with you from me. :)

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justamouse

justamouse

Posted
Posted (edited)

Sounds like God is moving on your behalf. That's an answer to prayer. No fireworks and burning bushes, just a friend you bumped into who had a solution for you.

 

There is no such thing as coincidence.

 

Very, very awesome.

 

eta. Shake the dust off your feet and journey on. If anyone has shame to bear, it's the banks.

Edited by justamouse
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jld

jld

Posted
Posted

I would certainly drop any shame. I agree that it is the banks that are doing this to people that should feel shame, as should the people in the system who are protecting them.

 

I'm sorry you may be leaving your home. Peace to you as you continue on.:grouphug:

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AlmiraGulch

AlmiraGulch

Posted
Posted

Just reading your story I can almost feel the weight of your burden being lifted.

 

I have been in very similar situations, where you're trying and trying to do....whatever it is you think you're supposed to do, and then, out of the blue, something comes along that completely refocuses your energy in a truly positive way. If you get this opportunity, please take it (if you think it's right for your family). No shame, no regrets. For me, it wasn't a foreclosure but a bankruptcy. I was completely humiliated, but it was a complete blessing in disguise. My life is so much better now, and that's just a distant memory.

 

I'm confident that it will work out for you, whatever "it" turns out to be. Be happy.

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TravelingChris

TravelingChris

Posted
Posted

Your post today has been God's response today. We had prayer circles in co-op support group today and I put your house problems into the prayer. Then I come home and read the news. Praise God that something else is coming forward. No, I don't think that the foreclosure is shameful. I think banks making agreements and not honoring them is shameful. I think banks telling lies about when they owned buildings and when people paid is shameful. Lying and cheating are shameful behaviors. Being a victim of that is not shameful.

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