"Bullies use food to torment allergic kids."

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I think this is horrible:( My ds is allerigic to peanuts, tree nuts, mango, and shellfish. Thank goodness he never experienced this. I have met adults though who have feelings of animosity towards peanut allergies:( I was checking out a local boy scout troop and the leader said they had an activity last year where they coat a pine cone with peanut butter and seeds for birds. He said that one peanut allergic scout sat at another table while the rest of the scouts did this activity:( I said that when we went to a multi den gathering they had the same activity and that my family could not stay as a result since I was concerned about kids dipping their hands, sleeves, arms into a huge vat of peanut butter. I also said that I called the headquarters and expressed concern about this activity especially since crisco can be substituted for peanut butter. Then this guy goes on to say that it irks him that he gets all of these letters about peanut products fro the schools and that he is allergic to cats. I was speechless but I wanted to tell him that peanuts are the most common cause of fatalities with allergies and that is why it is a big deal. I did tell him that I am not concerned about kids eating peanut products near my son since I eat it every day. I only worry about tons of peanut butter, loose nuts/peanuts mixed with little kids:( As far as schools I only believe in peanut/nut free classrooms and not lunch rooms. Needless to say we joined another troop.

 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39389689/ns/health-allergies_and_asthma/

Edited September 28, 2010 by priscilla
spelling

[Jean in Newcastle]

Ignorant and arrogant people can be deadly.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I'm not surprised. The way many adults are today ("my issues/concerns/feelings are more important than yours") how else would they raise their children than to be careless, cruel jerks?

 

I lovelovelove the kids I teach in our co-op, but I note every single week how different they are than the mainstream. (not perfect,....different.)

[Hunter's Moon]

They banned peanut-butter at my middle school when I was in 7th grade because a girl had an allergic reaction at a party in a classroom from eating a cupcake with nuts.

 

The teacher then proceeded to take out her information sheets on who was allergic to what and call out or names in the class. I was the only one allergic to peanuts in my class.

 

No clue why she had to point it out...

 

People can be dumb when it comes to allergies, like we can control them.

 

They probably think we're party poopers but hey, I think my life is a bit more important than a peanut butter cookie.

[Mejane]

Re. the article, my kids don't have allergies, but that carp would make me go bus-dad on someone's butt. :glare:

[FO4UR]

My 7yo is severely allergic to peanuts and tree nuts. This is a good reason to keep him home. imho.

 

Purposely smearing peanut butter on an allergic child is as dangerous as suffocating him by blocking his nose/mouth. It's THAT serious!!! The charges for that should attempted homicide. Not even kidding! Threatening/bullying should be held as serious as if the student was threatened with a knife or a gun!

 

Some people just.don't.get.it!!! I've had to tell people that we can't stay or go places b/c "We don't have time for an ER trip today!" I get odd looks, but ... My ds couldn't even sit at another table if he were in a group doing the peanut butter activity.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Yes, tigersgrowl, I think you are more important than a peanut butter cookie, too!

 

Some idiot wrote a letter to the editor recently complaining that "some special interest group" complains and suddenly he is deprived of peanuts on a flight, inconveniencing him greatly. I thought,"Wow! You are willing to sign your NAME to that bit of selfishness?! What a great big pair you must have!" Really? Six and a half peanuts fills him with such joy and gustatory bliss that he must endanger the life of another? REALLY?! I mean, I enjoy the occasional pb&J, but blissful it does not make me.

 

Now, Nutella and Bacon sandwiches on the other hand......swoon.....:001_smile:

[Hunter's Moon]

Yes, tigersgrowl, I think you are more important than a peanut butter cookie, too!

 

Some idiot wrote a letter to the editor recently complaining that "some special interest group" complains and suddenly he is deprived of peanuts on a flight, inconveniencing him greatly. I thought,"Wow! You are willing to sign your NAME to that bit of selfishness?! What a great big pair you must have!" Really? Six and a half peanuts fills him with such joy and gustatory bliss that he must endanger the life of another? REALLY?! I mean, I enjoy the occasional pb&J, but blissful it does not make me.

 

Now, Nutella and Bacon sandwiches on the other hand......swoon.....:001_smile:

 

Haha, thank you :D

 

I read an article about a year ago about a young girl who had an allergic reaction on a plane from the peanuts. The attendants actually told the mother they should not have brought her on the plane. It's ridiculous.

 

Allergies are just as serious as diabetes or any other incurable disease.

 

It is a real and daily fear we must live with. Ever since I was 5 I've had to advocate for myself in school making sure I got the cheese sandwich instead of pb&j or getting the cookie without nuts. I've actually been brushed off before and wasn't able to eat out of fear I was given the wrong thing.

 

People are just ridiculous.

[Jennifer in MI]

We've been really lucky, I guess. My ds10 is the peanut/tree nut allergic child. Wherever we've been, people have gone out of their way to make sure he is accommodated. His Webelo group is planning ALL their snacks and meals around his allergies. I am SO grateful for that.

 

The only teasing/bullying we've had about these allergies has come from his older brother. Boy, did we ever come down hard on him!!!! Believe me, we told him about how if his brother had had a reaction HE could've been charged with assault. We scared him!!!! I was SO angry. Heaven help the child outside my family that chooses to do something like that to my allergic child!!!

[Miss Sherry]

I was in a class for homeschoolers with my son a few years back and one of the students from another class had a severe peanut allergry.Some of us were bringing food for some of the classes history studies, and of course, all nuts and peanuts were banned.

One of the students said "Why should we all have to not have nuts just for one person".

I told her that it wasn't going to hurt her to do something for someone else. :tongue_smilie::001_smile: (little brat I thought but I didn't say it and she was a teen ) I also explained to her that it was a much bigger sacrifice for this other student if she would have to stay home away from everyone than it was for all of us not to have nut products just at these classes.

[Sandra in FL]

Even when ds gives repeated warnings that he's very allergic, some soccer team mates will pour stuff like Gatorade all over his head. People just aren't aware of how dangerous allergies can be.

 

When ds was a baby, his peanut and dairy allergy tested about the same. Since dairy is much more prevalent, his dairy allergy has grown by leaps and bounds (breaks out in hives on contact). His peanut allergy (because it's less common) is not that bad but I still dare not try almonds (even when it tests out okay).

[Belacqua]

I truly don't understand why people refuse to accept that these allergies are real. I expect the occasional selfish response, but I just don't get the outright refusal to believe the allergies exist, or that they really are more serious than sniffles.

 

Honestly, now. If people were going to fabricate dietary restrictions or requirements, wouldn't they make up something good? Instead of denying themselves delicious PBJs or Snickers bars to get attention, wouldn't they instead claim that they needed at least two servings of baked brie daily? Much like the old Sylvia comic strip in which two pet cats attempt to convince their owner that "the vet said we have to have fried chicken every day or we'll DIE."

[mirth]

'

[Rebecca VA]

I don't dispute for a moment that the allergies are real, and deadly, but what I have a hard time with is *how* the allergies came up so suddenly in the past generation. When I was growing up the only allergy I ever heard of was hay fever. Everyone ate peanut butter, and no one got sick from it. What has happened since then to cause the multitude of allergies that we're seeing in children?

 

I think the suddenness of it all is what may prompt some grown people into (mistakenly) believing that allergies are a made-up phenomenon. We didn't see it growing up, nor have we ever heard or read about such a thing in previous generations. If people could really understand exactly how food allergies became so prevalent, and that they might *themselves* possibly become allergic to something at some point, they might be more sympathetic.

[Jennifer in MI]

I don't dispute for a moment that the allergies are real, and deadly, but what I have a hard time with is *how* the allergies came up so suddenly in the past generation. When I was growing up the only allergy I ever heard of was hay fever. Everyone ate peanut butter, and no one got sick from it. What has happened since then to cause the multitude of allergies that we're seeing in children?

 

I think the suddenness of it all is what may prompt some grown people into (mistakenly) believing that allergies are a made-up phenomenon. We didn't see it growing up, nor have we ever heard or read about such a thing in previous generations. If people could really understand exactly how food allergies became so prevalent, and that they might *themselves* possibly become allergic to something at some point, they might be more sympathetic.

 

 

I wish I knew. Really I do. My poor ds. All he asked for last year for Christmas was to get rid of these allergies. He was sobbing when he asked me. We found a study for him to participate in, but he had to live near Duke University. Ugh.

 

It is interesting to me that for my own child, the things to which he was allergic as a toddler were the only things I could eat when pregnant. Honestly. When I saw the list of foods to which he was allergic, I wanted to cry. I recognized them. I've never felt so guilty. I know deep down there's more to it than that. But, I'll never get over the fact that his LONG list of allergies as a youngster matched exactly the things I ate in great quantities during the pregnancy.

[Parrothead]

I don't dispute for a moment that the allergies are real, and deadly, but what I have a hard time with is *how* the allergies came up so suddenly in the past generation. When I was growing up the only allergy I ever heard of was hay fever. Everyone ate peanut butter, and no one got sick from it. What has happened since then to cause the multitude of allergies that we're seeing in children?

 

I think the suddenness of it all is what may prompt some grown people into (mistakenly) believing that allergies are a made-up phenomenon. We didn't see it growing up, nor have we ever heard or read about such a thing in previous generations. If people could really understand exactly how food allergies became so prevalent, and that they might *themselves* possibly become allergic to something at some point, they might be more sympathetic.

There are theories but nothing concrete. Like the epidemic of autism in our world right now, food allergies are thought to be genetic and/or environmental and/or an auto-immune condition. All that means is no one knows.

[lionfamily1999]

And people wonder why full scale bans get implemented.

 

Next time they wonder, I guess I'll just relate this story. :glare:

 

~Julie, who is allergic to those types of morons, but doesn't see a time in her future when THEY will be banned.

[Rhonda in TX]

I think the suddenness of it all is what may prompt some grown people into (mistakenly) believing that allergies are a made-up phenomenon. We didn't see it growing up, nor have we ever heard or read about such a thing in previous generations. If people could really understand exactly how food allergies became so prevalent, and that they might *themselves* possibly become allergic to something at some point, they might be more sympathetic.

 

I don't understand it, either. Nobody on either side of our families have any type of food allergy. DD developed allergies to fruit, nuts, and peanuts a few years ago.

 

We are very lucky that the only reaction she has had has been hives, but it could change at any point to something more severe.

[fhjmom]

I had a distant cousin (my mom's cousin's son) that was about the same age as me. We didn't live close but we would always play together the yearly family reunion. When we were in late elementary school, they had a class party and someone brought rice crispy treats made with peanut butter. He was very good about watching what he ate but rice crispies were supposed to be one of his "safe" foods. He died before they could get him to the hospital.

 

In college, I had a friend that quit going to *any* parties after her second ER trip. She was allergic to something in grains (which included beer) and wouldn't drink. Still people thought it would be "funny" to pour beer in her soft drink.:tongue_smilie:

 

I agree with the poster that said it should be considered assault/attempted murder. Coming at someone with an allergen is just as deadly as a more common weapon.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

We have a couple scouts with food issues in our troop. At first, it was one Hindu scout for whom we packed alternatives when we were cooking with beef. Now we have another scout who is allergic to all meat and a third who is vegetarian. The philosophy we've tried to cultivate is that these scouts are valued members of the troop and it is wrong to not think of them when we're meal planning. Either we have a good dish they can eat, or a good substitute planned out. I don't want a scout having to eat peanut butter ever day at camp because he can't eat the entree (thankfully, PB is an option for our scouts).

 

The allergic scout told me once that he felt much more included with our troop than with his first troop. It seems that the attitude there was more that the meals were planned and if he didn't like them or couldn't eat them then he should bring his own substitute.

 

I would consider writing a note to your scout council discussing the birdfeeder example and suggesting that they cover allergies and allergy safety at future district/council training and roundtables.

[Mrs Mungo]

I was in a class for homeschoolers with my son a few years back and one of the students from another class had a severe peanut allergry.Some of us were bringing food for some of the classes history studies, and of course, all nuts and peanuts were banned.

One of the students said "Why should we all have to not have nuts just for one person".

I told her that it wasn't going to hurt her to do something for someone else. :tongue_smilie::001_smile: (little brat I thought but I didn't say it and she was a teen ) I also explained to her that it was a much bigger sacrifice for this other student if she would have to stay home away from everyone than it was for all of us not to have nut products just at these classes.

 

It's one thing for kids or teens to say something like that. Maybe they don't really realize the severity of some of these allergies? If you don't realize that someone can DIE from the peanuts on your breath, then you aren't going to realize that it's better for everyone to skip them. Adults are a whole other matter.

 

Why the "rise" in allergies? I think there are a lot of things going on (we are exposed to corn and peanuts at a much greater rate than ever before, for example), but I think a lot of it is that people just died before. Now, people realize they are severely allergic before they actually die from it. Kids with autoimmune disorders? They died. Kids with asthma and lung problems? They died. Other problems that come hand in hand with severe allergies? People died.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

We have a couple scouts with food issues in our troop. At first, it was one Hindu scout for whom we packed alternatives when we were cooking with beef. Now we have another scout who is allergic to all meat and a third who is vegetarian. The philosophy we've tried to cultivate is that these scouts are valued members of the troop and it is wrong to not think of them when we're meal planning. Either we have a good dish they can eat, or a good substitute planned out. I don't want a scout having to eat peanut butter ever day at camp because he can't eat the entree (thankfully, PB is an option for our scouts).

 

The allergic scout told me once that he felt much more included with our troop than with his first troop. It seems that the attitude there was more that the meals were planned and if he didn't like them or couldn't eat them then he should bring his own substitute.

 

I would consider writing a note to your scout council discussing the birdfeeder example and suggesting that they cover allergies and allergy safety at future district/council training and roundtables.

 

I may write a letter:) I always bring safe snacks for ds and I always assume that there will not be food for him. I am also happy to bring some safe snacks for everyone as well. For birthdays, I am happy to bring ds his own safe cupcake since most bakeries are contaminated with peanuts and tree nuts and we do not allow ds to eat food prepared by someone outside of the family since there is learning curve in food prep for allergies. I struggle with not imposing on anyone which is why I always bring safe snacks and try to reassure others that it is just a fact of life for us when we have to turn down goodies. I would like to ask his troop leader about requesting parents not to bring overt peanut/tree nut products to den meetings such as peanut or nut covered donuts or loose peanuts and tree nuts. They do not have to be safe foods since I always bring safe foods. I am worried about requesting this:( Any input?

Edited September 29, 2010 by priscilla

[FO4UR]

I don't dispute for a moment that the allergies are real, and deadly, but what I have a hard time with is *how* the allergies came up so suddenly in the past generation. When I was growing up the only allergy I ever heard of was hay fever. Everyone ate peanut butter, and no one got sick from it. What has happened since then to cause the multitude of allergies that we're seeing in children?

 

I think the suddenness of it all is what may prompt some grown people into (mistakenly) believing that allergies are a made-up phenomenon. We didn't see it growing up, nor have we ever heard or read about such a thing in previous generations. If people could really understand exactly how food allergies became so prevalent, and that they might *themselves* possibly become allergic to something at some point, they might be more sympathetic.

 

 

I agree with Mrs Mungo...these kids just died and no one knew why.

 

I have heard ramblings about the rise in vaccines...I wouldn't doubt if my ds's allergies were caused by a mix of genetics (his dad has lots of allergies), vaccines (his first reaction was right after a bunch of vax's), and the *dose* of nuts he had at his first reaction. He was eating walnuts like crazy while I was baking...I thought it was OK b/c he was 3yo and that's the magic age the ped told me for feeding nuts. It was NOT OK! He had an anaphylactic reaction and we've been on this journey ever since.

[bluemongoose]

We are the allergic family...so we are pretty used to handling most situations, but we are newer to kids with anaphylaxis. I have not had to deal with that until about 1 year ago.

 

Most of my allergies are not life threatening, so I dont ask much in the way of accommodation, just an understanding of what is in the meal. I am allergic to all meats, walnuts, and pecans. I am likely to have an anaphylactic response to cranberries, so that I have to ask more accommodation for. My DD just started a pineapple response that the Dr is very concerned is progressing to probably anaphylaxis, and my DS is the same with Dairy and Peanuts.

 

Sometimes people act insulted if I ask what ingredients are in the dish, even when I explain that I/my kids have food allergies.

 

Our scout troup has asked parents not to bring items with Pineapples, Cranberries, and Apples (another scout has apple anaphylaxis).

 

I usually tell people that my children are allergic to the foods and how serious it is, sometimes we get understanding, other times people act like I think it is some sort of status symbol. As if I like this???

 

Allergies are difficult to deal with, especially since so many things are put inside foods that it is very challenging to know what is ok to eat! My family has to stay away from the punch bowl, baked goods, and I can hardly eat anything at a potluck because you never know if it was made with meat broth or stock or dairy (DS). Why would I ever make this up for fun?:confused:

 

And the article...that is awful! People can be so cruel!

[QueenCat]

14 years ago, my friend's son, age 15 at the time, played basketball with a ball that had been touched by a friend who'd eaten a peanut butter sandwich, and then accidentally left pb residue on the ball when playing ball a few minutes later. My friend's son died that day. Peanut allergies are life threatening and must ALWAYS be taken seriously.

[lisamarie]

It is interesting to me that for my own child, the things to which he was allergic as a toddler were the only things I could eat when pregnant.

 

I blamed myself for my DS's peanut allergy because I snacked on peanuts and peanut butter all the time when I was pregnant. I kept a bag of peanuts and a jar of PB in my desk at work. But then he also developed allergies to tree nuts, eggs, mangoes and fish which I did NOT snack on at all. I am allergic to eggs and hate fish (and developed a shellfish allergy 3 years ago which I also don't eat except due to cross-contamination).

 

Sometimes people act insulted if I ask what ingredients are in the dish, even when I explain that I/my kids have food allergies.

 

I usually tell people that my children are allergic to the foods and how serious it is, sometimes we get understanding, other times people act like I think it is some sort of status symbol. As if I like this???

 

 

:iagree: I've gotten this especially in restaurants. I always ask for ingredient lists because I've been wrong in my assumptions before.

 

And ya, food allergies are SOOOO much fun.:glare: My DS will never be able to eat birthday cake due to his egg allergy. He has to skip snacks at events almost every single time because of nuts or eggs. He is such a trooper about it and rarely complains, but I always tuck a snack into his pocket so he can have a treat and not feel left out.

[Garga]

Just last night I was watching an old episode of Freaks and Geeks, and in it, a bully put peanuts in a kid's sandwich who was allergic to peanuts. The allergic kid was sent to the ER (but lived at the end of the episode.)

 

So strange to have seen a fictional tv show about it, then open this thread and see it in real life.

 

(Incidentally, Freaks and Geeks is the only show I've seen that accurately portrays high school--including the bullying with peanuts!)

[Rhonda in TX]

And ya, food allergies are SOOOO much fun.:glare: My DS will never be able to eat birthday cake due to his egg allergy. He has to skip snacks at events almost every single time because of nuts or eggs. He is such a trooper about it and rarely complains, but I always tuck a snack into his pocket so he can have a treat and not feel left out.

 

My DD never liked peanuts/nuts, so that part of her allergies hasn't bothered her too much (as far as missing them). The fruit allergy, though, is the pits for her. She has literally cried many times over the fact that she can't have fruit. So, yeah, we do this for fun.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

My DD never liked peanuts/nuts, so that part of her allergies hasn't bothered her too much (as far as missing them). The fruit allergy, though, is the pits for her. She has literally cried many times over the fact that she can't have fruit. So, yeah, we do this for fun.

 

I have cried too on several occasions since it can be devastating:( It is also like the boogey man in a sense on those rare occasions when we eat out or when there are lots of nuts around:(. My son wrote recently about how he hates food allergies:( We try to look on the bright side and I encourage him to do so as well since it could be so much worse and we are very lucky:)

[wapiti]

I am so freaked out when I read stories of people who died from peanut allergy. I'm so afraid of what will happen when ds goes off to college one day. I can't protect him his whole life and I know he'll have to be responsible for himself, but accidents happen, and sometimes college buddies do stupid things. (can I use the S word? it seems so applicable.)

 

Why the "rise" in allergies? I think there are a lot of things going on (we are exposed to corn and peanuts at a much greater rate than ever before, for example), but I think a lot of it is that people just died before. Now, people realize they are severely allergic before they actually die from it. Kids with autoimmune disorders? They died. Kids with asthma and lung problems? They died. Other problems that come hand in hand with severe allergies? People died.

 

I think this is probably right, and it freaks me out even more (do I sound paralyzed with fear?). Ds would not have even lived to react to peanuts if it weren't for modern medicine. In fact, the more I think about it, most of my kids - at least 4 of the 6, perhaps 5 - would not have survived infancy and toddlerhood due to what are now relatively mundane issues (asthma, bronchilitis, croup, kidney defects, prematurity). I just hope I can get them to adulthood when they can take care of themselves. But the peanut thing is so scary, I'll be scared for him forever. I'm looking forward to certain clinical trials becoming actual available treatments, the ones where the child eats minute amounts of peanut and gradually builds up. If it works, that would allay my fears greatly.

 

At least he's done an inhalation challenge (sat with an open jar of peanut butter) which was fine, but his skin test is as strong a reaction as ever.

Edited September 29, 2010 by wapiti

[cara]

This story hit way too close to home for me today.

 

DS was bullied in 1st grade due to his peanut allergy. A little girl that sat by him in class, brought peanuts or PB daily and would taunt DS with it. He totally changed, school was torture, and made comments such as " I'm afraid they are going to kill me". I also found out later that the teacher made comments to some or in front of some of the children that DS's allergy wasn't real. Children were also bringing in peanuts / pb and sharing it at snack time.

 

The classroom was supposed to be nut free, and wasn't. The school was supposed to be nut free and wasn't. I fought all year for accommodations (nut free cafeteria, nut free table for lunch, nut free classroom) and in the end just pulled DS because I couldn't' find anymore.

 

Ds NEVER wants to step foot in a school ever again because of this.

[AndyJoy]

It's amazing what jerks people can be.

 

My step-grandfather has a life-threatening MSG allergy, but no one else in my family has food allergies. However, I know enough people with allergies that whenever I invite guests for dinner I ALWAYS ask about allergies. I also never feed any kind of snack (no matter how innocuous it may seem) to a kid without getting the parent's permission first. When I was babysitting as a teen I asked as well. Most people are surprised that I ask, but I've actually had 2 occasions where a person forgot to mention an allergy until I asked and was greatly relieved!

 

After reading this thread, I figure if I keep asking everyone I invite over, I can help educate the masses about the widespread and dangerous nature of food allergies. :001_smile:

[joannqn]

It is interesting to me that for my own child, the things to which he was allergic as a toddler were the only things I could eat when pregnant. Honestly. When I saw the list of foods to which he was allergic, I wanted to cry. I recognized them. I've never felt so guilty. I know deep down there's more to it than that. But, I'll never get over the fact that his LONG list of allergies as a youngster matched exactly the things I ate in great quantities during the pregnancy.

 

I drank milk in large quantities (1/2 a gallon a day) during two of my pregnancies because I craved it so much. Those two kids were allergic to it for a while. Fortunately, they both outgrew it. The other two pregnancies occurred during a time when we drank little to no milk, and they didn't have allergies, though one of them developed lactose intolerance for a few years and has since outgrown it too. Weird stuff.

 

 

I went to elementary school with someone allergic to peanuts and other things. But she was the only person I had heard up before I started having kids and everyone seemed to become allergic to things. DS has recently become one of them, though not severely, when he developed oral allergy syndrome...and we're moving to a house with a birch tree in the back yard. I'm waiting to see how allergy season goes next year before asking the owner if we can pull it out (it's a young tree).

[Mrs Mungo]

Joann, my son had an oral allergy to apples and pears because he is (was?) allergic to birch trees. After 2 years in a new climate, he no longer tests allergic to any trees; he no longer breaks out from fruit. Here is hoping your son outgrows it as well.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

It is interesting to me that for my own child, the things to which he was allergic as a toddler were the only things I could eat when pregnant. Honestly. When I saw the list of foods to which he was allergic, I wanted to cry. I recognized them. I've never felt so guilty. I know deep down there's more to it than that. But, I'll never get over the fact that his LONG list of allergies as a youngster matched exactly the things I ate in great quantities during the pregnancy.

 

Don't blame yourself.

When pregnant with my first, I craved two things: peanut butter, ice cream, and olives. DS is allergic to peanuts but loves ice cream and olives (not together). There's no direct link.

We knew about DS's allergies when I got pregnant with my second. We were in a peanut-free house by then. My second child was never exposed to peanuts, either in utero or through breast milk. She's allergic anyway.

 

The bullying is partly why we homeschool. DS has everything that points he would be bullied. He's a nerd, loves math, has low social skills, doesn't like group situations but does fine one on one. He's a borderline Asperger, not enough to get the diagnostic but real close. He would be bullied in school. We felt, with the peanut allergy, that we would be playing with his life to send him to school.

[Wheres Toto]

Don't blame yourself.

When pregnant with my first, I craved two things: peanut butter, ice cream, and olives. DS is allergic to peanuts but loves ice cream and olives (not together). There's no direct link.

We knew about DS's allergies when I got pregnant with my second. We were in a peanut-free house by then. My second child was never exposed to peanuts, either in utero or through breast milk. She's allergic anyway.

:iagree: I lived on peanut butter all three of my pregnancies - none of my kids are allergic and my ds lives on the stuff.

 

I could never understand the people who make a big deal of not bringing/sending peanuts (or whatever) because someone has an allergy. I have NEVER dealt with a life-threatening allergy and I still understand how big a deal this is. My son is an extremely picky eater. Peanut butter is one of the few things he eats that is portable but when we go out to any kind of group things, I figure out something else. There have been times his "lunch" was cheese slices and crackers or pretzels, or a baggie of cereal since it was all we had that he would eat that didn't need to be cooked. It didn't hurt him any (he probably liked it :tongue_smilie:) and the alternative could have killed someone. It was a no-brainer.

[Impish]

I come from a different perspective.

 

When I ran a dayhome, I was offered an interview with parents of a peanut allergic child.

 

I turned it down.

 

My family loves pb. I didn't feel that I could guarantee a child's safety in that situation. Better to say no than to find out for sure imo.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I may write a letter:) I always bring safe snacks for ds and I always assume that there will not be food for him. I am also happy to bring some safe snacks for everyone as well. For birthdays, I am happy to bring ds his own safe cupcake since most bakeries are contaminated with peanuts and tree nuts and we do not allow ds to eat food prepared by someone outside of the family since there is learning curve in food prep for allergies. I struggle with not imposing on anyone which is why I always bring safe snacks and try to reassure others that it is just a fact of life for us when we have to turn down goodies. I would like to ask his troop leader about requesting parents not to bring overt peanut/tree nut products to den meetings such as peanut or nut covered donuts or loose peanuts and tree nuts. They do not have to be safe foods since I always bring safe foods. I am worried about requesting this:( Any input?

 

If this is for your 8 yo, it sounds like he is a wolf or a bear. I would be up front with your den leader, cubmaster and perhaps committee chair about what your concerns are. Explain the things that you don't think are problematic (for example, that eating a PB&J sandwich on an outing would be fine, if it wasn't right next to your son) and the things that cause concern (as you mentioned above, loose nuts or the peanut butter craft). If he has an epi pen, you will want to let them know where he carries it and when it would be appropriate to use it. Make sure they have a copy of part A and C of the annual health and medical record, which should list his allergies and any medication he uses for it.

 

I always encourage parents to be proactive by getting involved. Not only do you get to be a partner with your child's scouting, but they tend to enjoy seeing their parents teaching other scouts (shared pride), and you would probably be seen as more of one of the team rather than an outsider who is complaining.

 

You might consider offering to lead earning the new Disability Awareness beltloop at a den meeting or pack meeting. The website Working With Scouts With Disabilities has some cool meeting plans that you could adapt. You could probably work in allergies into this. Not because the allergies are necessarily a disability, but because it is something that is different but doesn't have to be scary or constraining.

 

I think the key with den snacks is to be calm and consistent but to point out that this is a medical condition for your son. You might offer to coordinate snacks if this is a shared responsibility. You can find out any restrictions other scouts in the den have and give suggestions for snacks. (Personally, I would far rather see things like grapes and oranges than cheese nips and cookies.)

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

If this is for your 8 yo, it sounds like he is a wolf or a bear. I would be up front with your den leader, cubmaster and perhaps committee chair about what your concerns are. Explain the things that you don't think are problematic (for example, that eating a PB&J sandwich on an outing would be fine, if it wasn't right next to your son) and the things that cause concern (as you mentioned above, loose nuts or the peanut butter craft). If he has an epi pen, you will want to let them know where he carries it and when it would be appropriate to use it. Make sure they have a copy of part A and C of the annual health and medical record, which should list his allergies and any medication he uses for it.

 

I always encourage parents to be proactive by getting involved. Not only do you get to be a partner with your child's scouting, but they tend to enjoy seeing their parents teaching other scouts (shared pride), and you would probably be seen as more of one of the team rather than an outsider who is complaining.

 

You might consider offering to lead earning the new Disability Awareness beltloop at a den meeting or pack meeting. The website Working With Scouts With Disabilities has some cool meeting plans that you could adapt. You could probably work in allergies into this. Not because the allergies are necessarily a disability, but because it is something that is different but doesn't have to be scary or constraining.

 

I think the key with den snacks is to be calm and consistent but to point out that this is a medical condition for your son. You might offer to coordinate snacks if this is a shared responsibility. You can find out any restrictions other scouts in the den have and give suggestions for snacks. (Personally, I would far rather see things like grapes and oranges than cheese nips and cookies.)

Thanks for the info:) My dh or I always attend events so that we can administer epi-pen if needed. My ds carries his epi-pens in a fanny pack. I think I will approach them. Hopefully, they will be open to suggestions.

[Wheres Toto]

I come from a different perspective.

 

When I ran a dayhome, I was offered an interview with parents of a peanut allergic child.

 

I turned it down.

 

My family loves pb. I didn't feel that I could guarantee a child's safety in that situation. Better to say no than to find out for sure imo.

 

 

Dh and I are talking about me watching a few kids when our new house is done. We've agreed that we won't take allergic kids because of ds's love for pb. There's no way we could make our home a safe environment for a peanut allergic kid.

[lisamarie]

Dh and I are talking about me watching a few kids when our new house is done. We've agreed that we won't take allergic kids because of ds's love for pb. There's no way we could make our home a safe environment for a peanut allergic kid.

 

And as a DS who is nut allergic, I don't have a problem with this. I think it's perfectly fine to know what you are comfortable with. Even with having a child with several food allergies, I still find myself at a loss when confronted with a child with different life threatening allergies than what I'm used to--one of DD's friends was allergic to milk and I had to really work to find things she could eat at my house. I would rather you be honest up front than to take on an allergic child and have it turn out tragic.

 

I wish that every skeptic of food allergies would get the "privilege" of watching someone they love suffer an anaphylactic reaction to something they ate. That would wake them up real quick to the reality that this is real and deadly. I have never been more scared in my whole life than the day 2 months ago when my DS had an anaphylactic reaction to a previously safe food. And I pray I never have to go through that again.

 

If some child bullied my DS with one of his allergens and landed him in the hospital, I would press charges and sue the pants off the family.

Edited September 30, 2010 by lisamarie

[mommaduck]

I wish that every skeptic of food allergies would get the "privilege" of watching someone they love suffer an anaphylactic reaction to something they ate. That would wake them up real quite to the reality that this is real and deadly.

I would never wish that on someone regardless of their skepticism or ignorance.

[Mrs Mungo]

The pb wielding dad declared that he thought J's allergy was just made up and HE wasn't going to go along with our rules!

 

That is SO stupid! WHY would someone make that up!?!?!?! I don't get it.

[FO4UR]

I come from a different perspective.

 

When I ran a dayhome, I was offered an interview with parents of a peanut allergic child.

 

I turned it down.

 

My family loves pb. I didn't feel that I could guarantee a child's safety in that situation. Better to say no than to find out for sure imo.

 

I have no problems with that at all. (I've done childcare, and there are things I would refuse in my home too.)

 

 

I would never expect to enter anyone's home and dictate what they can and can't have in their homes. I do reserve the right to not enter the home, even if you are related to me. Thankfully, my mom is a nurse and understands so when I visit home she "paves the nut-free way" so I don't have to.

 

It's school, church, and other meetings with groups of children/people that drive me batty. Church is the most dangerous place my ds goes on a regular basis...that and the grocery store in the fall when they put out open bins of nuts at child-height. (We had a bad scare in the middle of a store one time when he about 4...ds didn't know what was in the bin and I wasn't paying attention...:glare:)

[dangermom]

My daughter's peanut allergy was something we took into account when we decided to homeschool, though we would have done it anyway. I've had her friends tell us about incidents like this at school, where one kid will wave a PB&J in an allergic child's face, etc. I can understand young kids doing that when they have no real concept of the danger--a lot of the time they think it's funny and the consequences don't even enter their heads. But that's no excuse, and it has to be confronted and stopped right away. Anyone over 8 should know better.

[scrappyhappymama]

However, I know enough people with allergies that whenever I invite guests for dinner I ALWAYS ask about allergies. I also never feed any kind of snack (no matter how innocuous it may seem) to a kid without getting the parent's permission first.

 

:iagree: I'm much more sensitive to this now after having children with food allergies. It seems like every church has the friendly older person who passes out candy to the littles afterwards. Which is a real bummer when a child is allergic to dairy or corn. Fortunately, my children know not to accept treats from anyone without asking me first, but then I still hate dealing with a sad or disappointed. left out little one. I know in the past I would have thought nothing of giving a little snack or bite off my plate to a child visiting our home, but now I always, always ask first. I've learned that parents will not always say something ahead of time, especially if they have just quietly brought safe treats for their own child.

[homemama]

My son has peanut/tree nut allergies. It lead us to homeschool (however now we have other reasons;)). I don't know about the other moms that deal with this, but I have struggled with this since my son was 2 and he'd 9 now.

 

First, he was denied at a local preschool and that gave me tears. We did manage to get him in another and it worked out fine. Then, he started kindergarten and I could write a book on that 1st and only semester that he attended!:glare: Too long of a story to explain in my post!

We have struggled with even some of our close relatives not understanding. We do manage o.k., but some days it's very difficult to deal with. We don't have as much support as some.

 

However, we pray continually that God will intervene. It's good to read this thread, at least we're not alone!

 

homemama

[Gwenhwyfar]

his ds can't even be breathed on by a pb eater.

 

i can't even imagine how difficult it must be for anyone to deal with an allergy that is that extreme. :001_huh:

 

i mean... it's one thing to declare a 'nut free' classroom/etc ~ but when it comes to not even being able to be around someone who ATE the item *earlier* ....kids having pb on toast for breakfast and then coming to school, for example...