How do you feel about being addressed as

[GVD22]

Mr. and Mrs. Husband's first name and last name, i.e., Mr. and Mrs. David Williams

 

 

Fortunately, I am rarely addressed that way as I don't like it.

[Ellie]

I am impressed that someone knows proper etiquette. :)

 

In our culture, it is the correct, formal form of address for married women. It is not so in some cultures, but it is in ours. I have no problems with it at all.

[LauraGB]

The only time I don't mind it is on wedding invitations. Otherwise it would bother me a great deal. But, I really can't think of one time I have been addressed as Mrs. DH.

[OhM]

I am impressed that someone knows proper etiquette. :)

 

In our culture, it is the correct, formal form of address for married women. It is not so in some cultures, but it is in ours. I have no problems with it at all.

 

:iagree: Same here.

[OhM]

I am assuming you're talking about written communications. I don't know of any etiquette that says I should be referred to as Mrs. (dh's name)?

[NanceXToo]

I put I don't mind. It rarely happens and when it does it's only on certain written communications from people I'm not close to anyway (or something very formal like a wedding invite). It's not like people call me "Mrs. Shawn" to my face or something. THAT might bother me lol.

[GVD22]

I am assuming you're talking about written communications. I don't know of any etiquette that says I should be referred to as Mrs. (dh's name)?

 

Yes, mostly written, though I do hear it alot at weddings.

[Renee in NC]

Doesn't bother me at all.

 

When dh was in the Army, his nickname was Hendog. That meant that I was addressed by all (even the Battery Commander at one point) as Mrs. Hendog!:tongue_smilie:

 

So, addressing me as Mrs. Husband's Name is an improvement, I think.:lol:

[anissa]

That's hilarious, Renee!

[GVD22]

Doesn't bother me at all.

 

When dh was in the Army, his nickname was Hendog. That meant that I was addressed by all (even the Battery Commander at one point) as Mrs. Hendog!:tongue_smilie:

 

So, addressing me as Mrs. Husband's Name is an improvement, I think.:lol:

:lol:

[dsmith]

I dislike it, but I'm used to it and use it myself with relatives. It's just the way it is done in our families. When a letter is sent to my son from relatives, they use Master before his name. With friends I am more casual.

[RoughCollie]

I don't mind. To me, it is a social convention. Besides, nobody ever calls me Mrs. Slamdunk Turtlehead. At most, I am Mrs. Turtlehead.

 

Back in the 50s, 60s, and 70s, women referred to themselves as Mrs. Slamdunk Turtlehead. I don't do that. I am RoughCollie Turtlehead.

 

I do wish that DH had agreed to take my last name when we married, however.

[Carrie12345]

Doesn't bother me. I am Carrie Lastname. My formal title is Mrs. Dh'sFirstname Lastname. Ds's formal title is Master Connor Lastname. We don't go around CALLING him that, just like nobody goes around calling me Mrs. Dh'sFirstname Lastname. It's for formal address only.

[GVD22]

I do wish that DH had agreed to take my last name when we married, however.

 

May I ask why? DD says she wants to keep her last name when she marries.

[Guest CarolineUK]

Originally posted by Renee in FL When dh was in the Army, his nickname was Hendog. That meant that I was addressed by all (even the Battery Commander at one point) as Mrs. Hendog!:tongue_smilie:

 

:lol:

 

We have friends, now in their 70s, and she is always referred to as 'Mrs Michael' (his christian name) by all their staff. She is a much loved, very larger than life character, and I really don't think it would ever occur to her to be remotely offended.

 

I would be a little surprised if I wasn't referred to as Mrs Tom XXXXX as to be referred to as Mrs Caroline XXXXX would imply that we were divorced - that is the etiquette, I believe.

[ProudGrandma]

That may be a little formal for me, however, we are teaching our children to address adults as Mrs. Smith and Mr. Jones ...instead of Ms Beth or Mr. Bob for example. Which is pretty hard where we live and most of the kids simply call everybody by their first name. We just feel adults of any age should be shown a little respect by our children. So far we haven't been told by any adult that my kids can not call them by Mr. Jones, etc. If that happens, I am not sure how I will respond.

 

Kathy

[cathmom]

LOL, you left out an option for "I like it." You must really not like it, since you can't imagine anyone else liking it!

 

:lol:

[Parrothead]

I don't mind. To me, it is a social convention. Besides, nobody ever calls me Mrs. Slamdunk Turtlehead. At most, I am Mrs. Turtlehead.

 

Back in the 50s, 60s, and 70s, women referred to themselves as Mrs. Slamdunk Turtlehead. I don't do that. I am RoughCollie Turtlehead.

 

 

I'm with RoughCollie here. I almost wish it was still this way. I like the idea of giving leave to someone to use my first name.

 

Of course it helps if you like your dh's name.

 

LOL, you left out an option for "I like it." You must really not like it, since you can't imagine anyone else liking it!

 

:lol:

I wondered that too.

[rookie]

Why do you dislike it?

What's the big deal?

 

I like it. If I could command the world :) I would reinstate every formal convention lost to us. I may have my DH start refering to me as Mrs. P.

[smrtmama]

I have no problem being address as Mrs. McLernins. That's my name. My name NOT and will never be Mrs. OfficerDaddyman McLernins.

[HRAAB]

I have no problem being address as Mrs. McLernins. That's my name. My name NOT and will never be Mrs. OfficerDaddyman McLernins.

 

:iagree:

[Ellie]

I am assuming you're talking about written communications. I don't know of any etiquette that says I should be referred to as Mrs. (dh's name)?

It is proper to refer to someone as Mrs. Burbaster when you first meet her, as opposed to calling her by her first name right off the bat, but yes, generally, you only use Mrs. Orkie Burbaster in writing. And yes, I know that many people totally disregard that rule in today's society. I'm just sayin'. :D

[Starr]

I thought in writing if you are Mrs. Jane Smith it meant that your husband had died. Otherwise you are Miss or more recently Ms. I've never found this used in speech.

[Daisy]

It doesn't bother me at all. It is usually only done on formal invitations.

 

I'm frequently called Mr. Sh*****'s wife by 30+ six year olds. LOL. Doesn't bother me.

 

I like being called Mrs. Sh******. He's my man. I like being associated with him.

[sassenach]

It never occured to me to be offended. That happens to me a lot....

[nmoira]

I'm a Ms, not a Mrs., and I have my own identity (not even a secret one)... so "no" on all counts.

[silliness7]

Mr. and Mrs. Husband's first name and last name, i.e., Mr. and Mrs. David Williams

 

 

Fortunately, I am rarely addressed that way as I don't like it.

 

I'm curious how you would prefer the envelope be addressed when it is to both you and hubby?

 

Mr. David Williams and Mrs. Jane Williams

 

or

 

David and Jane Williams

 

or

 

Jane and David Williams

 

or

 

Mrs. Jane and David Williams

 

or Jane Doe (because we forgot the name of that guy she married) :lol:

 

ETA: And how would you like to disseminate your preference to the brides-to-be who are pouring over their etiquette books, following protocol and offending people anyway. Sheesh!

Edited September 25, 2010 by silliness7

[Dana]

That may be a little formal for me, however, we are teaching our children to address adults as Mrs. Smith and Mr. Jones ...instead of Ms Beth or Mr. Bob for example. Which is pretty hard where we live and most of the kids simply call everybody by their first name. We just feel adults of any age should be shown a little respect by our children. So far we haven't been told by any adult that my kids can not call them by Mr. Jones, etc. If that happens, I am not sure how I will respond.

 

Kathy

 

I kept my name when I married. We planned not to have children; if I had thought I might have a child sometime we might have made a different choice. But with as many divorces as there are nowadays, having a different last name than my son doesn't faze people.

 

I don't like being called by my husband's last name - it's not my name. We do have the advantage of when anyone calls and asks for me by his name or him by my name, we know it's a telemarketer. :D

 

That said, if a child who knows us refers to me as Mrs. HusbandsName, I'll answer to it. If we're going to be around them for more than the occasional visit, I'll let them know I prefer to be called Ms. MyName, but I'm not going to be offended by how a child refers to me if they are trying to be respectful.

 

We're also having our son refer to adults as Mr. or Ms. LastName. (Mrs. if that's what they prefer.)

[Impish]

I would have voted for liking it too.

[Mom-ninja.]

I don't just dislike it....I hate it. In fact, I refuse to acknowledge when I'm referred to in that way.

 

I won't open a letter if addressed like that.

 

My husband's first name is NOT my name. I did not morph into my husband when we married. We are two people and we each have our own name.

 

I made it VERY clear for our wedding that the pastor and the DJ announcing us were to use DH's first name and my first name.

[m0mmaBuck]

I don't just dislike it....I hate it. In fact, I refuse to acknowledge when I'm referred to in that way.

 

I won't open a letter if addressed like that.

 

My husband's first name is NOT my name. I did not morph into my husband when we married. We are two people and we each have our own name.

 

I made it VERY clear for our wedding that the pastor and the DJ announcing us were to use DH's first name and my first name.

 

:iagree:

 

I didn't change my name when we got married. I am not an extension of my husband. I am my own person.

 

What's really funny is when telemarketers call our house asking to speak with Mr. My-Last-Name.

[GVD22]

LOL, you left out an option for "I like it." You must really not like it, since you can't imagine anyone else liking it!

 

:lol:

 

 

LOL. Sorry! I really didn't think about my wording. Must have been my subconscious talking.:tongue_smilie:

Edited September 25, 2010 by GVD22

[GVD22]

Why do you dislike it?

What's the big deal?

 

I like it. If I could command the world :) I would reinstate every formal convention lost to us. I may have my DH start refering to me as Mrs. P.

 

I don't like it because it's not my name. :lol:

[GVD22]

I'm curious how you would prefer the envelope be addressed when it is to both you and hubby?

 

Mr. David Williams and Mrs. Jane Williams

 

or

 

David and Jane Williams

 

or

 

Jane and David Williams

 

or

 

Mrs. Jane and David Williams

 

or Jane Doe (because we forgot the name of that guy she married) :lol:

 

ETA: And how would you like to disseminate your preference to the brides-to-be who are pouring over their etiquette books, following protocol and offending people anyway. Sheesh!

 

#1 works nicely or even Mr. and Mrs. Williams.:) I've never mentioned it to anyone who may have addressed mail in this way but it is a pet peeve.

Edited September 25, 2010 by GVD22

[nukeswife]

My dh is military so I'm usually just Mrs. Lastname, in person, or Ma'am which does make me feel old, but I know it's the training so I'm ok with it.

 

Oh formal invites I'm fine with

 

CMDR and Mrs. last name or CMDR and Mrs. DHfirstname lastname.

 

I'm proud of him and his accomplishments, so I have no problem with it. I think a lot of it stems from his soc. security number being the main piece of info I need for anything. I am basically an extension of him and I'm ok with that.

[kristavws]

 

I like being called Mrs. Sh******. He's my man. I like being associated with him.

 

:iagree:

[Guest ME-Mommy]

I am impressed that someone knows proper etiquette. :)

 

In our culture, it is the correct, formal form of address for married women. It is not so in some cultures, but it is in ours. I have no problems with it at all.

 

 

:iagree: -- I voted "other"...as I like being addressed that way. :)

[JeneralMom]

I did not change my name when we married for the same reasons pps have mentioned - I am not an extension of my husband; I am my own person with my own accomplishments and my name was known in our field before we married. My name is not Mrs. DHlast name, it is most certainly not Mrs. DHfirstname DHlastname. Our children have our names hyphenated. We refer to ourselves as the "Ourlastnameshyphenated" family.

 

It has nothing to do with being proud of my DH; I am incredibly proud of his accomplishments and will loudly proclaim to all that I am his wife, but I am just as proud of my name and accomplishments.

 

The only time I turn a blind-eye to it is on wedding invitations, otherwise it really annoys me that some members of his family address me by hislastname, and the kids by only his last name, as well.

[WarriorMama]

I can't really say that it bothers me. I did marry the man after all, and he has a nice name...I don't mind being associated with it. Besides, I have too many pet peeves already, who needs one more? :tongue_smilie:

 

I do however find it somewhat baffling, as we don't even share a last name - I never changed mine. I write my name as Ms. Myfirstname Mylastname.

 

Is it still 'correct' to write a married woman's name that way if she didn't change her name? I wonder because people who know full well what my name is still send me mail addressed to Mrs. Hisfirstname Hislastname. I secretly suspect they're falling back on etiquette simply because so many people have trouble remembering how to spell my name. ;)

[patchfire]

I'm a Ms, not a Mrs., and I have my own identity (not even a secret one)... so "no" on all counts.

 

:iagree:

 

I don't just dislike it....I hate it.

 

Me too. The only reason I even changed my name when we got married is my former last name is more commonly used as a first name. I was tired of being called "lastname firstname" all my life. I tried to get dh to go for creating a new name. :)

[Greta]

I do not feel any less of a person when I am identified as my husband's wife or my daughter's mother.

 

My relationships with them ARE defining characteristics of the person *me*. Without them, I wouldn't be who I am. They have made me a better person than I would have been otherwise. (I hope and pray that maybe I have had or will have the same effect on them.) I feel no offense at being known by and through my husband or my daughter - on the contrary I rather like it.

Edited September 25, 2010 by GretaLynne
can't seem to find the right words!

[stripe]

No one calls me Mrs. Husband's First and Last Name. No one.

 

I prefer to be addressed as my kids' mother, which is how a lot of people do refer to me including my mother- and father-in-law. It's a cultural thing, and it's fine with me.

[Night Elf]

Other for me! I don't ever experience that kind of address. Of course, I don't live in a world that has formal invitations of any kind. Christmas cards are addressed to 'first name' & 'first name' 'last name'.

 

But it wouldn't bother me in the least.

[Homemaker]

I prefer the "Mrs. Lastname", I would of voted that I liked it. I DO NOT like it when kids call me by first name or "miss firstname". I tell my kids they are suppose to address adults as "Mr. And Mrs. Lastname" at all times. Children are not on the same level as adults and they should show them respect and honor by addressing them as the proper title.

[Night Elf]

Children are not on the same level as adults and they should show them respect and honor by addressing them as the proper title.

 

What if the person truly dislikes the address you're insisting they be called by?

 

What about adults who are addressing older adults? It's not so much as children aren't on the same level really.

 

I think it's more respectful to honor the wishes of the person that you are speaking to. I knew a lady who insisted her children call me by Mrs. last-name. It really made me uncomfortable, so I stopped putting myself in any situation that would require they talk to me. I wasn't trying to be rude. I just didn't like feeling so uncomfortable.

[GVD22]

I prefer the "Mrs. Lastname", I would of voted that I liked it. I DO NOT like it when kids call me by first name or "miss firstname". I tell my kids they are suppose to address adults as "Mr. And Mrs. Lastname" at all times. Children are not on the same level as adults and they should show them respect and honor by addressing them as the proper title.

 

 

I wouldn't correct a child who called me Mrs. Lastname but I always tell children to call me Ms. Firstname.

[Teachin'Mine]

Doesn't bother me at all.

 

When dh was in the Army, his nickname was Hendog. That meant that I was addressed by all (even the Battery Commander at one point) as Mrs. Hendog!:tongue_smilie:

 

So, addressing me as Mrs. Husband's Name is an improvement, I think.:lol:

 

:lol:

Edited September 25, 2010 by Teachin'Mine
I found out what hendog means. lol

[sassenach]

I prefer the "Mrs. Lastname", I would of voted that I liked it. I DO NOT like it when kids call me by first name or "miss firstname". I tell my kids they are suppose to address adults as "Mr. And Mrs. Lastname" at all times. Children are not on the same level as adults and they should show them respect and honor by addressing them as the proper title.

 

That's so funny. Here in Cali, it's really common for kids to address adults by first name- nothing in front of it. When we moved to the south, we became accustomed to Miss/Mr first name. Now that we're back in Cali, we're the weird ones that have our kids put Miss/Mr in front of first names. Mr/Mrs. last name is unheard of around here.

[Holly]

I also like it. It makes me feel like a real grown-up. :lol: Not that I was one of those girls who wrote out Mrs. Crush's Name 1000s of times on notebook paper during school. :001_huh:

 

Funny story...my grandma had continued to receive mail to Mr. and Mrs. Grandpa's Name and left all bills in his name long after his death. One day she had a telemarketer claiming to have talked to him earlier that week and even used his first name. My grandpa had passed a decade earlier. :lol: ...Must have been one strange conversation. Going by Mrs. First name possibly saved her from a telemarketing scam. ;)

[pqr]

I prefer the "Mrs. Lastname", I would of voted that I liked it. I DO NOT like it when kids call me by first name or "miss firstname". I tell my kids they are suppose to address adults as "Mr. And Mrs. Lastname" at all times. Children are not on the same level as adults and they should show them respect and honor by addressing them as the proper title.

 

Well put.

 

I do not allow children to call me by just my fist name, I find it rude and overly familiar.

 

In the same manner my children do not call other adults by their first name.

Edited September 25, 2010 by pqr