Q: Do you require your girls to wear dresses to church?

[3lilreds in NC]

Before we moved, we went to a contemporary church, and casual clothes were almost expected. No one cared if we wore shorts (which we all did in the summer because it is so stinking hot in NC).

 

Now, we're attending a more traditional church. I don't know that we will stay there, but people generally dress up to come to church.

 

Almost every weekend I have to have a discussion with Abbie about what she's wearing to church. This week she tried to wear short denim shorts. They look nice on her but I don't think they are appropriate for any church, honestly. I've purchased her a couple of fairly casual dresses from Lands End, but she gets very upset when I ask her to wear them. She doesn't want people to think she's a "girly girl." :confused:

 

What do your girls wear to church? I think minimally we need to do some shopping. We get away from buying nicer clothes because they don't need them very often, with homeschooling and such. It would be good for them to have at least a couple of outfits that they like to wear to church though.

[amy g.]

Nope

[truebluexf]

What about some khaki shorts and a pretty tee or something? I sent DD in a dress today but she generally loves dresses. She first came down in cutoff jean shorts LOL. I see nothing wrong with some nice pants/shorts and a top though.

[Dobela]

My daughter wears a dress on Sunday mornings. I allow her to dress more casually other services, and I dress more casually at other services. I do allow shorts then since she is just 3, but at some point I will stop that. My 10 yr old son is not allowed to wear shorts to services any longer although others certainly do. For me the dress is a show of respect, I guess because I was raised that way. I was never allowed to wear less than a dress to church however. I was taught that we are to always present our best, especially in church before God who deserves the best. Certainly He is more important that the other functions we typically dress up for.

[mrs.m]

No dresses here. Although DD has one on right now.

 

If that's how people dressed at our church, I would require it. But we go to a very casual church.

[....]

We're very traditional Lutheran - No...no dresses. I have worn pants and tennis shoes to service. I saw some guy wear jeans and pointy cowboy boots to Communion a few weeks ago. :lol:

[Hannah C.]

I always try and dress to match what others are wearing. In recent years I've gone to informal churches, where the kids and teens often wear jeans or nice (non-denim for girls) shorts and tops. It's pretty easy to dress up jeans. If I went to a more formal church I'd dress up more.

[tearose]

What about skorts as a compromise? Lands End has some that seem both pretty and comfortable (I'm sure that other places sell them, too, but LE is the first to come to mind). Personally, I don't much care for shorts on anyone in church, though I think that women and girls can look nice in dressier pants (i.e. not jeans).

[TrixieB]

I don't require dresses. In fact, I don't think my dds own any dresses.

 

My rules for church clothes:

 

clean

no holes

fit properly

 

I suppose I might add "modest" at some future point, but so far neither of my dds has expressed interest in wearing too-revealing clothes.

[FaithManor]

I am at the piano nearly every Sunday morning so I wear skirts and blouses/sweaters in winter or nice dress pants and blouses. Same for DD. Dh wears khakis and polo shirts as do the boys. So, I guess we are sort of business casual but around the holidays we do like to dress up.

 

In our church, it just depends on what a person is comfortable with but I think that the main principles are that the clothing is modest, clean, and neat. The youth director and his wife have been known to tell teens to pull their shirts down (especially the boys with the baggy pants) or to take the girls aside and suggest that low-cut tops and cami's are not appropriate. They do it in a very tasteful way and over time, it seems that most of the youth dress appropriately though probably my DD is the only one that likes to dress up.

 

Maybe you could meet your dd half way and get khaki's and cute capri's with nice tops that aren't fru-fru but definitely more dressy than a tee.

 

Faith

[dangermom]

The general standard at our church is to wear dresses (well, the women and girls anyway), so yes. The Lands End knit dresses are good because they're comfy and good for playing in, but nice enough for church. I also sew them things.

[3littlekeets]

No, but my DD lives in Hanna Andersson dresses anyway. They are cute for any occasion. With clogs and a hairband or bow, great for church, and with pigtails and tennies, great for play! And, they are rugged as all get out!

[K&Rs Mom]

Mine both choose dresses regularly, so it's not an issue that they don't like them. I require something a bit nicer than everyday playclothes for church - dresses, khakis, even khaki capris in the summer, no shorts or tank tops. They have a couple of dresses that are too worn, so those aren't allowed at church, and sleeveless dresses need to have a T-shirt underneath. I've started wearing dresses for church since I require something nice from dc. Honestly, it's easier in the morning because I don't have to find another part to match it!

[Joyofsixreboot]

I don't require dresses but I do require things to be modest (every day not just Sunday ;-) ). All their shorts are pretty much to their knee and no tank tops. Much to my sons dismay I also require clean and untorn. My little girls like dresses but I require shorts underneath because, well, sitting in a lady like manner is a work in progress.

[OnTheBrink]

I don't require dresses, but she wears them sometimes on her own.

 

IMO, if the majority of the church dresses up, then I would too, because not to would draw attention to myself and I'm there to worship, not make a statement of some sort.

 

But, I think skorts or khaki walking sorts (or even capris) with a pretty top would be acceptable, especially in the summer. Even a more fitted (a-line) skirt would be pretty and not "girly girl".

[Miss Peregrine]

 

My rules for church clothes:

 

clean

no holes

fit properly

 

 

 

This.

[JudoMom]

Before we moved, we went to a contemporary church, and casual clothes were almost expected. No one cared if we wore shorts (which we all did in the summer because it is so stinking hot in NC).

 

Now, we're attending a more traditional church. I don't know that we will stay there, but people generally dress up to come to church.

 

Almost every weekend I have to have a discussion with Abbie about what she's wearing to church. This week she tried to wear short denim shorts. They look nice on her but I don't think they are appropriate for any church, honestly. I've purchased her a couple of fairly casual dresses from Lands End, but she gets very upset when I ask her to wear them. She doesn't want people to think she's a "girly girl." :confused:

 

What do your girls wear to church? I think minimally we need to do some shopping. We get away from buying nicer clothes because they don't need them very often, with homeschooling and such. It would be good for them to have at least a couple of outfits that they like to wear to church though.

 

I don't have this problem (obviously :lol:), but thought I'd chime in anyway, since I wasn't a girly-girl growing up and my mother stuffed me into dresses.

 

I would require my dd wear a dress to church. However, I would take her shopping and let her pick them out. And I would try not to persuade her of what she should like, and try not to influence her in any way. There was nothing worse than my Mom giving me a dress she thought was cute (our tastes are quite different) and me not liking it and not wanting it, and then me showing her a dress I liked and it wouldn't meet with her approval because it wasn't what she had in mind. I often felt like a disappointment to her because I wasn't a girly-girl, and to this day I'm confident I wasn't the daughter she had in mind when she dreamed about raising a daughter. I know she loves me, but I do think she wishes I was different.

 

Anyway, I would tell Abbie that you will be buying 2-3 dresses for church, but that she will pick them out. Let her take ownership of them. Maybe buy her a pair of cute, sporty, non-girly shoes to wear with them.

Edited August 1, 2010 by JudoMom

[Paige]

My girls cry if they don't get to wear a dress to church, so it isn't an issue here. If they really didn't want to wear dresses, however, I would make them at least wear pants with a nicer shirt. I think dressy casual or the way we would dress at a nice restaurant would be fine for me. I don't allow my son to wear shorts to church either. I wear pants almost every week but usually avoid jeans. Our church is a mix of casual and dressy and many children wear shorts and casual clothing, but I just prefer my kids to look nicer. I want them to acknowledge that church is not just any old place and that they need to show some respect. I think it does affect their mindset when they are in the service.

[The Girls' Mom]

My oldest despises wearing a dress. So, we try to find capris and slacks that she likes, and she wears nicer shirts with them. She'll even comprimise and wear the longer baby doll style shirts they try to pass off as dresses these days with capris.

[Momling]

I don't *require* dresses, but I do *encourage* dresses. I figure since I usually wear jeans, I can just have my well-dressed girls stand in front of me and we look kind of put together as a family...

[Daisy]

I don't make my daughter wear dresses but I don't allow shorts either. Maybe you can work out a compromise?

 

My daughter usually wears a skirt and shirt in the summer (110 degrees HOT!) and nice jeans and a dressy shirt in the winter.

 

For what it is worth, the rest of the family wears their nice jeans and a collared shirt to church every week.

[3lilreds in NC]

Thanks for all the responses, ladies. We did compromise this morning on a skort (which would have been fine the first time around, by the way).

 

The dresses I got her from LE are ones that she chose from the catalog and said she'd wear. I do think it's probably a better idea to go shopping with her in a real store (ugh) and let her choose her own things. She's gotten VERY particular in the last year or so and I find it quite frustrating. I think we've hit a point where she's outgrown some of her nicer casual things, like the khaki skorts/capris she had, and all of our clothing budget went to horse camp boots etc last month.

 

I see shopping in our future... maybe I can get my MIL to do it if they visit. That would be one nice thing to come out of that situation, anyway, :D

[katemary63]

Since I don't even own a dress, I certainly couldn't require my DDs to wear a dress. No, she wears them when she wants and also wears other cute outfits with pants or shorts. But it's always clean, pressed and nice. No junk.

[Rebecca VA]

Yes, mine wears dresses to all church services. She tends to wear dresses and skirts on most nice occasions.

[dangermom]

How about a cute denim or khaki skirt? She might wear the LE ones later, after she gets used to the dress concept.

[Parrothead]

Dresses are not mandatory at church for dd or me. Today we each wore skirts. Last week I wore jeans.

[Caitilin]

I don't require it, but they usually choose to, at least in the summer. Winters here in the frozen north are a different matter, and our church is poorly insulated, so it's just sense to dress for the weather. They always dress for church, though, and don't come sloppy. :)

[Lawana]

I sure wish someone had required a girl (about 13) at church today to wear shorts, or pants, or just about anything else other than the dress she wore. It was sooo short that I was seriously thinking we were going to get flashed at any time. It was made from a filmy type fabric, like chiffon but not quite as sheer. She had something on under it like a slip, but it was a few inches shorter than the bottom of the dress, and couldn't have completely covered her panties. It was incredibly distracting, and I saw many people stare. What was her mother thinking to let her go out of the house like that?

[momofkhm]

Sometimes. Like today my oldest one wore black jeans. They are nice jeans, but still jeans. Then my youngest wore gauchos. Not pants but not a skirt either. I try not to let them wear pants 2 weeks in a row. Definitely not 3 weeks in row! But at our church basically anything goes. Some of the men wear jeans. Some wear suits.

Edited August 1, 2010 by momofkhm

[silliness7]

Before we moved, we went to a contemporary church, and casual clothes were almost expected. No one cared if we wore shorts (which we all did in the summer because it is so stinking hot in NC).

 

Now, we're attending a more traditional church. I don't know that we will stay there, but people generally dress up to come to church.

 

Almost every weekend I have to have a discussion with Abbie about what she's wearing to church. This week she tried to wear short denim shorts. They look nice on her but I don't think they are appropriate for any church, honestly. I've purchased her a couple of fairly casual dresses from Lands End, but she gets very upset when I ask her to wear them. She doesn't want people to think she's a "girly girl." :confused:

 

What do your girls wear to church? I think minimally we need to do some shopping. We get away from buying nicer clothes because they don't need them very often, with homeschooling and such. It would be good for them to have at least a couple of outfits that they like to wear to church though.

 

Take her shopping for a couple of church outfits. She can pick out what she would like to wear and you can screen for appropriateness. Win/Win

[ereks mom]

I don't require dresses, but she wears them sometimes on her own.

 

IMO, if the majority of the church dresses up, then I would too, because not to would draw attention to myself and I'm there to worship, not make a statement of some sort.

 

But, I think skorts or khaki walking sorts (or even capris) with a pretty top would be acceptable, especially in the summer. Even a more fitted (a-line) skirt would be pretty and not "girly girl".

 

:iagree:

[Scarlett]

I would think she would be more comfortable dressing more in line with the rest of the congregation....

 

To answer your question---if I had any girls they woud wear dresses to services. I have a boy and he wears a suit and tie and dress shoes. And he has since he was 2.

 

We believe it is a sign of respect to dress our best for God's house. Although of course we would NEVER discourage anyone from attending regardless of what they might be wearing...I've seen some pretty amazing transformations over the years...people generally begin dressing more formally without anyone having to say a word to them.

[Scarlett]

She's gotten VERY particular in the last year or so and I find it quite frustrating.

 

My 10 year old son is the same way lately! I agree--very frustrating---what does he think, that he is his own person or something? :tongue_smilie:

[kmacnchs]

She doesn't want people to think she's a "girly girl." :confused:

 

What do your girls wear to church? I think minimally we need to do some shopping. We get away from buying nicer clothes because they don't need them very often, with homeschooling and such. It would be good for them to have at least a couple of outfits that they like to wear to church though.

 

I was the same way as a child and my mom always gave me the talk about dressing your best for God...that never cut it for me b/c God is everywhere - not just at church!

 

We have a belief at our church that you should not spend more time on your looks (what you wear, make up, etc.) than you do preparing your heart any day. Girls tend to spend a lot of time "gettin' pretty" and that's fine, if that's what you want to do, as long as you spend as much time or more preparing your heart for worship.

 

I would also fight against dressing up just because others do. If the church believes girls should wear dresses b/c of some biblical reason, be open to it but don't just accept it blindly.

 

No real advice, just to encourage modesty, whether that is a dress, shorts, or pants...

[HRAAB]

No I don't require dresses, however, my 13 yr old often wears them anyway. My guidelines are: we aren't dressing for the park or beach or Walmart or everyday. Clothes are to be clean, pressed, not worn out or have holes. No shorts - capris are okay. No spaghetti straps (park/beach wear). I don't want my girls getting stared at or have them distracting other people with their dress. Although I don't think it's necessary to wear dresses, there are still standards that should be maintained.

[Crimson Wife]

My girls wear dresses or skirts as do I. DH wears dress pants and a button-down shirt. DS wears khaki or corduroy pants and a polo or button-down shirt.

 

If one of my girls started complaining about wearing a dress/skirt I would allow her to wear khakis and a dressy blouse/sweater. As long as the outfit would be appropriate to wear to a nice restaurant, I'm not going to make the skirt vs. pants a hill on which to die ;)

[Brenda in FL]

For us it has depended on the church. For the first 9 years of my daughter's life, she wore dresses. She wore them because I always wore dresses, plus our church was not that casual.

 

Now - I let it depend on the church. I still prefer dresses, and fortunately my dd does as well. We've attended two different churches since our move from GA and they are both more casual - I don't have a problem with dd dressing more casual as long as the outfit is clean, fits her properly, matches, and is modest.

[Aubrey]

It's never come up. They think fancy dresses are their Sunday "right." They'd wear them the rest of the week, too--not just dresses, but Christmas/Easter/flower girl dresses, to play in the dirt & ride bikes, if I'd let them.

[Beetkvass]

I prefer them but it's not a rule. I don't always wear a dress myself. My girls mostly own dresses and they always wear them to church. My 4yog was born without a behind. JK. But she barely has enough of one to keep pants up. She passes her dresses down to her sister. They just don't even have much in the way of pants or shorts and those they have are not Sunday material.

[Mommy to monkeys]

although we do not go to church very often. (mostly just at the grandparents' houses)

 

As long as they're clean and neat, they're good to go.:)

[milovany]

We don't require it, per se, but we girls all wear skirts or dresses to church services because in our parish it's traditional for women/girls to do so. It's not even something we even ask ourselves or think about anymore, really, we just join in with the practice.

[Red]

No I don't require it. Our church has a good mix of styles of dress.

[3lilreds in NC]

I don't really require dresses. I almost never wear a dress or skirt to church because I don't have many. It's more that her choices are inappropriate, and would not, in many cases, have been allowed at our old church, either.

 

We need to go shopping. That's clear. I don't know when that will happen, but I will make it happen.

 

Also, I need to go through clothes with both my girls and tell them what they may wear to church and what they may not wear to church. I like the clean, pressed, no holes rule - we don't often have holes but lately they've taken to wearing dirty clothes a lot. :lol: Then, at least, they will have an acceptable pile to choose from and perhaps we can avoid these weekly "discussions."

[WiseOwlKnits]

I do. I don't wear pants to church, nor do I allow my DD. She's never questioned it because I've never allowed anything else. I also don't allow my son to wear jeans or t-shirts. He wears a button-down shirt or a polo and slacks.

 

FWIW, there are kids at our church who come in shorts during the summer.

[Mrs Mungo]

Hawaii is ultra-casual and so is our church. Our girls wear Bermuda-length shorts, Capri pants, denim skirts (to the knee), nice (dark wash) jeans and cute tops. Sometimes they wear dresses, but not often. Our son usually wears dress shorts and polo shirts. I did go through my kids' closets and say "these are the type of outfits appropriate for church or other nicer occasions."

Edited August 1, 2010 by Mrs Mungo

[Ellie]

I would not have felt comfortable allowing my dc to wear shorts to church. *I* don't wear shorts to church. I wouldn't have required dresses, but dds would have had to wear nice pants--no jeans with torn knees or anything.