Do Your Kids Answer the Door?

[shinyhappypeople]

I met someone who won't let their 8 year old answer the door because she's worried about safety (a crazy person could be at the door and snatch the unaccompanied child).

 

It never occurred to me not to let my kids answer the door now that they're old enough to turn the knob and speak politely (5 and 7 yo, fwiw)

 

So, is this whole not letting your kid answer the door thing common now or is she just being overprotective? (or both...)

 

Of course, I let my kids eat raw cookie dough, too, so what do I know ;)

[GoVanGogh]

I don't let my 8.5 year old answer the door. No way. No how. We live in a 'safe' suburban area, but I like to know who is at the door before I answer it. And won't answer it for certain people. We have a lot of door-to-door sales people in this area and crazy neighbors.

 

But I do let my child eat raw cookie dough. And he has a pet turtle. And a pocket knife. And he loves to mountain bike. :001_huh: And I let him run in flip flops, which drives my DH and MIL over the edge. Oh, and right now, he is out launching rockets.

 

Everyone has their own comfort level.

[Allearia]

I don't let my very responsible 8.5 year old answer the door unless I'm right there. In fact just yesterday he and his little brother did answer it and we had a very serious discussion. I am really pretty free about a lot of things but although our neighborhood is fairly safe it is urban and not far from not-so-safe areas.

[Snickerdoodle]

Holy cow, no. We've had some seriously frightening incidents. I don't even answer the door unless I am expecting someone.

[Lolosoli]

I think it could depend on where a person lives. In some neighbourhoods I can see that could be a problem.

 

My kids always check who it is before they answer the door. If it is someone they don't know they come and get me (they are to shy). If it is someone they do know they answer it.....

 

 

~Charlene~

[Truscifi]

Yes, but I'm always within sight and we live in a quiet rural community. Also the dog is always right there with him. The worst she would do is lick someone to death, but she looks intimidating. :tongue_smilie:

[4besitos]

I don't let my children (oldest 12) answer the door unless it is one of the neighbor children or a relative. They look out the window to see who it is. Even though we have 2 no soliciting signs....we still get door-to-door people. Although we don't live in a "high crime" area......you just don't know. There were a run of drug related day-time home invasions/robberies in the city next to us. And a girl was recently on the local news because her house got broken into when she was home sick from school.

 

Maybe instead of an alarm sign....I could design a "single income/hs family...nothing good to steal. No flat screen TVs. Old computer. No Ipods or expensive cell phones. Lots of garage sale treasures found here sign.

[Mejane]

I don't even answer the door. We live in a secluded area, and dh is often away. I don't let in anyone I don't know.

[Hunter's Moon]

I'm 16 but we live in the city and our door with the doorbell is all the way on the bottom of our stairs so one of my parents always watches from the top.

 

We have some pretty crazy neighbors, lots of druggies too though.

 

When I'm alone, I only open it if I am expecting someone, but obviously I check first. Plus, we keep a bat next to it :)

 

Also, when I am alone and I am walking down the stairs to check who is at the door, I talk as if I am talking to one of my parents. If I know them and they come in, I look crazy when they realize no one is there, but if I let them in they know me well enough to know I talk to myself anyways :)

[mom4him]

I let mine as long as I am available. THEY ARE NEVER TO LET ANYONE IN THAT WE DON'T KNOW VERY WELL! If I am not in the room or where I can see I DO NOT want them answering the door.

We have and have watch Stranger Danger and I highly recommend it.

[shinyhappypeople]

 

Maybe instead of an alarm sign....I could design a "single income/hs family...nothing good to steal. No flat screen TVs. Old computer. No Ipods or expensive cell phones. Lots of garage sale treasures found here sign.

 

:D

[sheryl]

I don't let my children (oldest 12) answer the door unless it is one of the neighbor children or a relative. They look out the window to see who it is. Even though we have 2 no soliciting signs....we still get door-to-door people. Although we don't live in a "high crime" area......you just don't know. There were a run of drug related day-time home invasions/robberies in the city next to us. And a girl was recently on the local news because her house got broken into when she was home sick from school.

 

Maybe instead of an alarm sign....I could design a "single income/hs family...nothing good to steal. No flat screen TVs. Old computer. No Ipods or expensive cell phones. Lots of garage sale treasures found here sign.

 

 

:iagree: ditto here

[melissel]

No, they don't answer the door unless we're absolutely positive who it is (for example, my dad, who, when asked through the door, "Who is it?" always replies in his deep voice, "It's Mimi!" :lol:) or unless I'm standing right there. Otherwise, they don't answer for safety reasons and because we tend not to answer the door at all if it salespeople or religious representatives (we see a lot of salespeople and a fair number of Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses). I don't worry much that they'll be grabbed, but I do worry about who could push their way in the door past a 7-year-old when I'm not watching!

 

ETA: We eat raw cookie dough on a regular basis though :-) Raw bread dough too! Though that's less appealing now that I bake gluten-free bread...

Edited June 27, 2010 by melissel

[melissel]

Maybe instead of an alarm sign....I could design a "single income/hs family...nothing good to steal. No flat screen TVs. Old computer. No Ipods or expensive cell phones. Lots of garage sale treasures found here sign.

 

:lol: Seriously! I always say that anyone who breaks in here is going to be sorely disappointed.

[3littlekeets]

No way. Oldest is 11 and he is not allowed to answer the door unless it is a neighborhood child.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I hadn't really thought about it.

 

Honestly, I guess I just can't imagine ANYONE just answering the door. We basically see who it is and answer appropriately. Sometimes that's a wide open door with welcoming hugs and sometimes that's a bit more timid (though maybe the meat selling people would quit coming if we were over the top friendly...lol).

 

I believe a knock is a request, not a demand.

 

I do think children home alone should probably not answer for people they don't know. They do need to ACKNOWLEDGE the knock though (some of you know what happened to us a few years back and being silent is DANGEROUS). Simply, "MOM!!!!!!!" after the knock then after a moment asking the person at the door to come back later if necessary would work.

Edited June 27, 2010 by 2J5M9K
felt my orig response sounded differently than I really feel.

[sparrow]

Nope. No way, no how. They are allowed to eat raw cookie dough :D.

 

I wasn't allowed to answer the door as a kid, either. That would have been in the 70s-80s. We live in my hometown, too. It's a small, rural community where you're guaranteed to run into someone you know when you go to the store. However, it's also a town that's seen it's fair share of hard times due to unemployment. We've seen increased break ins and drug busts for meth, etc. The kids are not allowed to go to the door unless it's grandma and grandpa--heck, I don't go to the door unless it g-ma and g-pa....or UPS :D.

[LibraryLover]

This another of those 'depends on where you live' questions/answers. Our main door is open whenever the weather is nice. We have a sreen door then. So my kids answer the door all the time...with dogs...who bark at strangers. lol Yes, my kids answer /answered the door.

[Truscifi]

I think I should clarify what I meant by 'answer the door'. Our front door is usually open anyway, to let in light. We have a storm door that stays closed, but is not usually locked. It is mostly glass. When ds answers the door, he sticks his head around the corner from the kitchen or family room to see who it is, then yells to me if I can't see them. The dog is right in front of the door barking, and no one who doesn't know us and our dog has ever opened the door with her there. Ds may walk over to the door and tell the person to please wait a moment. He wouldn't open the door to talk to them, much less let them in, unless it is someone we know and trust. And most of those people come on in anyway and start petting the ferocious dog. :D

 

ETA: You're supposed to cook cookie dough? ;)

[Mommyof4ks]

My kids are only allowed to open the door for people we know, but we have had a few incidents of people forcing their way into homes and threatening or hurting the residents. It is not common, but I don't like to take that chance My kids are 5-10 years old.

 

My kids love raw cookie dough too. :001_smile:

[secular_mom]

I don't even answer the door. We live in a secluded area, and dh is often away. I don't let in anyone I don't know.

:lol: We aren't in a secluded area, but I don't answer the door either- unless I am expecting someone (or a package). Basically, if you weren't invited then you're not invited in. ;)

[fivetails]

This another of those 'depends on where you live' questions/answers.

 

Yep - a lot of the 'do you let your kids' type questions depend on location. I've lived in places (pre-kids) where it wouldn't be very safe to let children answer the door, and I've lived in places (post-kids) where most people don't knock - they just walk in and yell "anybody here?" :laugh:

 

Right now - well, 99% of the knocks on the door are neighbourhood kids looking to play, so the kids do answer the door a lot...the kitchen window looks right out there, so it's easy to see who it is. If dd13 looks out and sees some stranger (gas sales people, etc) then she leaves it for me.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm a free range parent and my kids do not answer the door except in very specific circumstances.

 

If dh or I are home, we always open it. We look through the peep-hole first.

 

If dh and I are not at home, the kids are instructed to look through the peep-hole. If it is one of 2 neighbors or Grandma/Grandpa they may open the door. Any other people (even nice neighbors we know) and they may not open it. I figure if they really need to talk to us, they'll come back later.

 

We have a safe neighborhood overall. But there are door-to-door solicitors that I do not trust. There have been reports of rapes and home invasions from these solicitors in the next town over.

 

It may be sort of arbitrary since the kids go around the neighborhood and talk to everyone, etc. But it is outside where everyone can see and someone can always hear them yell. I don't trust a situation where someone could come in and slam the door shut, cutting them off from help.

[AHASRADA]

Interesting question. We very rarely have the front door open, only if dh is here, and then it is propped 1/4 open with a shoe so no one can see in.

We have always lived in fairly safe suburban/rural areas, so I wouldn't be overly concerned about a "wierdo" being outside, but you never know. It's always a good habit to teach kids never to open the door to someone they don't know. We don't have a dog, so that could make a difference in other people's situation.

 

Aside from general safety, my kids (esp. when they were little) were taught not only not to open the door, but to be very quiet and pretend we're not home, so *I* don't have to open the door if I don't want to ;). If I am not expecting them, don't know them, I can't be bothered, KWIM? I also dress modestly in public, so if it is a man at the door, I have to stop what I'm doing and take the time to dress properly before answering, usually hurrying and flustered as they continue to ring and re-ring the bell. I'd rather just not deal with them.

 

Now that my ds is 13 and the same size and height as dh, I tend to let him answer the door if it is a man, I don't need to talk to them, but the door needs to be answered for some reason. Most of the time we still just ignore them, though.

 

We currently live in an environment that is somewhat hostile to homeschooling. If anyone we don't know either knocks or needs to enter our home during school hours, my kids run and hide out of sight. I know, it's frustrating, but all it takes is one nosey person to report that my kids aren't in school, and a whole unsavory can of worms (and a CPS file) would be opened.

 

So yes, there are all kinds of reasons for kids not to open the door :tongue_smilie:.

[Alyce]

my kids are older teenagers and don't answer the door unless i know someone will be coming by like the ups man. you need to think about a couple of things. glass doors can easily be broken so I would never leave even my screen door open. dogs also can be comprimised. all the intruded needs to do is give the dog a treat. as too neighbors, we have had several murders this month and the killer was a neighbor. the also lived in very nice neighborhoods and had lived there for years. you really don,t know what's out there anymore so you need to take extreme precautions even when they are neighbors.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i

[LibraryLover]

There is no way I am going to miss the gorgeous green and luscious view out my front door , or the lovey ocean breezes that manage to kiss our front yard, and make it through my large screened-in porch and front door.

 

This board knows how to danm the greatest pleasures in life.

 

Maybe country porch -sitting is a health hazard as well.

Edited June 27, 2010 by LibraryLover

[nukeswife]

We have sidelight windows by our door so when the bell is rung or someone knocks my kids run to see who it is (they are 11, 8.5 and almost 5 years old) if it's a neighborhood friend they'll open the door and speak to their friends, if it's the UPS/Fedex/mail carrier they yell "Mom we got more curriculum" LOL even though it's not always curriculum, and then wait for me to come get the box or give them permission to bring it in and we open it. If it's the Schwan's man, and our usual driver, they'll open the door and call me. Then they talk to him until I get there, after all he brings the ice cream!! If it's some adult other than the Schwan's or mail/package carriers, they yell, Mom someone's at the door and then go back to what they are doing.

 

But I'm the mom that lets them walk two doors down to play with friends while I'm cleaning the house or things like that, or will let them ride their bikes around the block (we live on a road that circles back on it self and there is only one way in or out, it's like a big letter P if you are looking down on it from the sky). So I guess I'm not as cautious as many.

[DawnM]

NO, I do not let them answer unless it is someone expected. We have had illegal sales people come to the door, a neighborhood near us had an attempted kidnapping, and I just read about a babysitter fighting off a sexual predator.

 

We also live in a very safe area, but there are crazies who travel.

[mom2jjka]

Sometimes. we have a large picture window next to the front door so we can see who it is knocking. If it is one of their child firends I do let them answer, but if it is a adult no. ( With the exception of our mailman, who we have gotten to know quite well thanks to many, many 'box days.' ) :D

[Ellie]

No. I don't believe it is appropriate for children to answer the door. I believe adults should do that. (And they don't follow me to the door, either.)

 

I also don't believe children should answer the telephone until they are old enough to take written messages.

[Desert Rat]

No. I don't trust our neighborhood that much. If we're expecting someone or it's one of their friends, yes. But, I don't tell them to answer the door when I'm busy, for instance.

[LibraryLover]

"my kids are older teenagers and don't answer the door unless i know someone will be coming by like the ups man. you need to think about a couple of things. glass doors can easily be broken so I would never leave even my screen door open. dogs also can be comprimised. all the intruded needs to do is give the dog a treat. as too neighbors, we have had several murders this month and the killer was a neighbor. the also lived in very nice neighborhoods and had lived there for years. you really don,t know what's out there anymore so you need to take extreme precautions even when they are neighbors".

 

 

Prisions, we all just need to make our homes prisions, just in case, because you never know.

 

I feel a little sad that so many hsers are so afraid of everything. It's a shame. Crime stats in the US are down, not up. Kids are far more often harmed by people they know, people who groom them, not by strangers walking around nieghborhoods ringing doorbells.

Edited June 27, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Jean in Newcastle]

Prisions, we all just need to make our homes prisions, just in case, because you never know.

 

I feel a little sad that so many hsers are so afraid of everything. It's a shame. Crime stats in the US are down, not up. Kids are far more often harmed by people they know, people who groom them, not by strangers walking around nieghborhoods ringing doorbells.

 

I don't think that was necessary to say. You yourself said that it depended on the neighborhood. Do you know where we live? Do you read our local newspaper?

 

The OP asked us what we did. I didn't realize that our answers would be fodder for someone to judge us.

[Hunter's Moon]

Prisions, we all just need to make our homes prisions, just in case, because you never know.

 

I feel a little sad that so many hsers are so afraid of everything. It's a shame. Crime stats in the US are down, not up. Kids are far more often harmed by people they know, people who groom them, not by strangers walking around nieghborhoods ringing doorbells.

 

Crime stats might be down because people are so much more protective now.

 

And in my city, crime stats are up.

[Jen500]

Prisions, we all just need to make our homes prisions, just in case, because you never know.

 

I feel a little sad that so many hsers are so afraid of everything. It's a shame. Crime stats in the US are down, not up. Kids are far more often harmed by people they know, people who groom them, not by strangers walking around nieghborhoods ringing doorbells.

 

Can we do a home swap? :D

[Jennifer in MI]

I never thought about it much. I'm usually home. So, when the bell rings, I don't care who answers! We usually have our front door wide open - with a screen or glass, depending on the time of year. But, we live in a VERY safe neighborhood. I feel safe out after dark too.

 

But, if I leave home, I instruct the kids not to open the door.

 

And I eat raw cookie dough. And my boys own guns and knives and have actually shot real guns. And, my oldest builds his own rockets and launches them at the speed of sound and over 1 mile high! So, I guess I'm a real risk taker!!!:lol:

[LibraryLover]

I don't think that was necessary to say. You yourself said that it depended on the neighborhood. Do you know where we live? Do you read our local newspaper?

 

The OP asked us what we did. I didn't realize that our answers would be fodder for someone to judge us.

 

 

That's right, so I am not talking about you. Geesh. Go read all of the posts.

[sparrow]

Prisions, we all just need to make our homes prisions, just in case, because you never know.

 

I feel a little sad that so many hsers are so afraid of everything. It's a shame. Crime stats in the US are down, not up. Kids are far more often harmed by people they know, people who groom them, not by strangers walking around nieghborhoods ringing doorbells.

 

 

I'm not afraid, I am cautious. My children are allowed to play outdoors and ride their bikes when I'm not outside, but working around in the house. Sure, someone could come along and grab them, but I'm not willing to live in that much fear. It is a different story with strangers approaching the door to our home. The THINGS that people WANT are in there. More than likely, they'd rather have those things than my kids and could push past them to get at the things.

 

I in no way feel that we're some how imprisoning ourselves by not allowing an 8 or 10 year old to open the door to a stranger.

[LibraryLover]

Gosh, we should be neighbors. :) My kids love gadgets and sharp pointy things.

 

I never thought about it much. I'm usually home. So, when the bell rings, I don't care who answers! We usually have our front door wide open - with a screen or glass, depending on the time of year. But, we live in a VERY safe neighborhood. I feel safe out after dark too.

 

But, if I leave home, I instruct the kids not to open the door.

 

And I eat raw cookie dough. And my boys own guns and knives and have actually shot real guns. And, my oldest builds his own rockets and launches them at the speed of sound and over 1 mile high! So, I guess I'm a real risk taker!!!:lol:

[LibraryLover]

I think people should do what they want to do. What makes them feel safe. I really do.

 

I'm not afraid, I am cautious. My children are allowed to play outdoors and ride their bikes when I'm not outside, but working around in the house. Sure, someone could come along and grab them, but I'm not willing to live in that much fear. It is a different story with strangers approaching the door to our home. The THINGS that people WANT are in there. More than likely, they'd rather have those things than my kids and could push past them to get at the things.

 

I in no way feel that we're some how imprisoning ourselves by not allowing an 8 or 10 year old to open the door to a stranger.

[emzhengjiu]

My daughters, 10 & 13, open the door if it's a friend only and only when I'm nearby. They always ask or check through the window. We live in an apartment complex. People move in and out frequently. It's difficult to get to know your neighbors. Over the past few years, we've had several instances of drunks or worse, knocking randomly on doors demanding entry. So, I'm very careful. It's not making my home a prison but rather a sanctuary.

[LibraryLover]

Can we do a home swap? :D

 

 

I can't actually see the water, but the scent wafts up. I can also smell the mudflats at low tide. Niiiiiiiiice. lol Not.

 

People stop by here all the time, people visit us all the time. You can come visit anytime. We have friends or the kids have friends over nearly every day. You are welcomed to come by as well.

 

Are you stalking me? :lol: Because if you are, I need to lock front door and turn on the AC because these breezes through my screen door might invite bad people (like you?) into my home. ;)

Edited June 27, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Jennifer in MI]

Gosh, we should be neighbors. :) My kids love gadgets and sharp pointy things.

:001_smile: We have a house for sale on our block! If they like sharp pointy things, I should mention that my oldest two also have a lot of karate weaponry!! Swords, nunchakus, etc. I think they'd get along swimmingly!!!

 

But, maybe I should move to your neck of the woods. The ocean breezes sound lovely!!

[LibraryLover]

My daughters, 10 & 13, open the door if it's a friend only and only when I'm nearby. They always ask or check through the window. We live in an apartment complex. People move in and out frequently. It's difficult to get to know your neighbors. Over the past few years, we've had several instances of drunks or worse, knocking randomly on doors demanding entry. So, I'm very careful. It's not making my home a prison but rather a sanctuary.

 

 

I would keep my door closed if I lived in an aprtment building. Although when we lived in an apartment in CA, the front door also was a little sitting deck where people put chairs and chatted, so we left our door open frequently, but not always.

 

i would also not want small children to leave the apartment, so i might even lock the door.

[LibraryLover]

:001_smile: We have a house for sale on our block! If they like sharp pointy things, I should mention that my oldest two also have a lot of karate weaponry!! Swords, nunchakus, etc. I think they'd get along swimmingly!!!

 

But, maybe I should move to your neck of the woods. The ocean breezes sound lovely!!

 

 

It's too cold where you are. And further to drive south. :) You will have to come here, yes. :)

[Lara in Colo]

I don't let them answer the door. my children are too outgoing and trusting. We don't have any small children in the neighborhood, so the person at the door can't be for them.

BTW the comercial I hate the most has big bird coming to the door and child leaves with him and doesn't look back or ask if its alright.

 

the cookie dough never gets to the children :D,

but my homemade ice cream has raw eggs (so did my mothers and my gm, and my ggm)

 

Lara

[Daisy]

No way. I don't let my 8yo or 10yo answer the door. They are too short to see through the peep hole and I'd prefer they didn't anyway.

 

We had a robbery last summer just a couple of blocks from us. An elderly women opened the door to a man who was asking for a cup of water. It was 110 degrees outside and he appeared to be a lawns-keeper. He beat her up and robbed her.

 

Another lady was killed by two teenage girls pretending to sell magazines.

 

Nope. The kids don't answer the door. I don't answer the door unless I recognize the person or I have made an appointment for them to come.

[abbeyej]

My kids answer the door for neighbor children. Otherwise, I simply don't believe it's *appropriate* for kids to answer the door or the telephone. (Again, they can see the caller ID and if it's grandparents, of course they can answer.) It's not that I really fear every knock could be a psycho out to abduct children. But what of use can my children have to say to the meter reader?

 

And I *loathe* it when I call someone's house and have to get through a 7yo (even a fairly polite one) to speak to an adult. Loathe it. It's a little better when kids have been well trained ("Mrs. So-and-so is not available right now. May I take a message?" and then actually write down the message), but most of them aren't nearly as well-trained or charming on the phone as their parents imagine.

[melissel]

There is no way I am going to miss the gorgeous green and luscious view out my front door , or the lovey ocean breezes that manage to kiss our front yard, and make it through my large screened-in porch and front door.

 

This board knows how to danm the greatest pleasures in life.

 

Maybe country porch -sitting is a health hazard as well.

 

I think people should do what they want to do. What makes them feel safe. I really do.

 

Then why on earth would you post such judgmental things about those of us who ARE doing what makes us feel safe? I don't have a green and luscious view or lovely ocean breezes. I have pretty much no breeze at all generally. And I don't have people dropping by because most of our friends don't live in town. I do, however, have magazine, window, and siding salespeople and religious reps on a regular basis. So my door stays closed, and I'm pretty sure my children won't talk in therapy about how stunted they are emotionally because I didn't let them open the door to everyone who came by :001_rolleyes:

 

 

If you don't have anything nice to say...

[KidsHappen]

We have a peep hole. I don't even answer the door if I don't know who it is. Nor do my 17 & 18 year olds. Of course, that is entirely because we are anti-social but my 10 & 13 years old aren't allowed to open the door to people they don't know either. This sometimes leads to a annoying incidents. Last night my 13 year old came home and rang the bell, the 10 year old looked out the peep hole and didn't see her so she ran back upstairs. Meanwhile 13 year old is still ringing the bell. When we asked the 10 year old who was at the door she said no one and she was freaked out so she didn't answer the door. Since I was expecting the 13 year old to be home at about that time I figured out that is was probably her and went to let her in.