Can you be REAL?

[Tree House Academy]

I am reading a book called, "Lies Homeschool Mom's Believe" and I came to a section that really speaks to me. It talks about being REAL around other homeschoolers. They specifically mention yelling at the kids, saying things you regret in a moment of frustration, having struggles. So, I wonder, do many of you feel like you can be REAL around your IRL homeschool mom friends? I do...with some. Others, I don't share these things with. I do tend to think that I am the only one who gets frustrated with the kids for dawdling, fighting during school, etc. I do occasionally yell at them for it. I have even yelled at my 6 year old a time or two over his math in sheer frustration. Those are just things I don't share with most of my IRL homeschool mom friends. It seems like we have to put on this "face" or face the harsh judgement of others who will tell us we are terrible mom's. I know that people here sometimes really put themselves out there only to have a brew-ha-ha free-for-all held in their honor on the board :glare: but my question is, are you REAL about your homeschooling with your IRL friends or do you feel like you hide the bad stuff and try to put on that "perfect" face? I am guilty at times (my kids always foil my attempts, though :tongue_smilie:).

 

It is always nice to come here and know that I am not alone...:grouphug:

[dragons in the flower bed]

They specifically mention yelling at the kids, saying things you regret in a moment of frustration, having struggles. So, I wonder, do many of you feel like you can be REAL around your IRL homeschool mom friends?

 

I think I do, but I guess I'd have to ask my local homeschool friends if I've ever mentioned that I lose it from time to time. I'm certain they feel that they can be real around me, because I know I've heard confessions of such failings as you describe. Even if we tried to cover it up, who would believe that a person who is at home teaching his or her own multiple small children day after day would never ever lose it? That wouldn't fly in our own homeschool group. I think we assume that we all have said things we regret in a moment of frustration.

[Chris in VA]

Yes, I can be real. Too real, sometimes. But only a few of my acquaintances homeschool--I'm "real" with others at church and my dfs, who don't homeschool.

I believe in living a fairly open life as a pastor's wife--it's part of my personal calling to be quite honest about my failings, w/o "roughing the listener." :D

[hsmom3tn]

Over the years I have grown apart from all of my non-hsing friends, so I really had to think about it...

 

I remember always feeling like I had to prove something - like that I was doing the right thing or had made the right choice. I guess I always wondered if they were talking about me when I wasn't there. I would imagine that they were saying negative things about my homeschooling, and tell myself that they were doing it to make themselves feel better about their decisions to send their kids to ps. So, no, I probably wasn't real with them. I'm sure I acted like everything was great all the time, no problems at all.

 

That makes me sad, too, because my DS's 1st grade year was the worst we've ever had. Back then, I was completely ignorant of support groups or even other hsing families. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to about it - to be real with.

 

ETA: Sorry, I read your question wrong. As far as my IRL homeschooling friends, I can be completely real. We all know how it is. There are good days and bad - but to me, even the bad ones are better than the alternative.

Edited March 16, 2010 by hsmom3tn

[Mommyfaithe]

I am reading a book called, "Lies Homeschool Mom's Believe" and I came to a section that really speaks to me. It talks about being REAL around other homeschoolers. They specifically mention yelling at the kids, saying things you regret in a moment of frustration, having struggles. So, I wonder, do many of you feel like you can be REAL around your IRL homeschool mom friends? I do...with some. Others, I don't share these things with. I do tend to think that I am the only one who gets frustrated with the kids for dawdling, fighting during school, etc. I do occasionally yell at them for it. I have even yelled at my 6 year old a time or two over his math in sheer frustration. Those are just things I don't share with most of my IRL homeschool mom friends. It seems like we have to put on this "face" or face the harsh judgement of others who will tell us we are terrible mom's. I know that people here sometimes really put themselves out there only to have a brew-ha-ha free-for-all held in their honor on the board :glare: but my question is, are you REAL about your homeschooling with your IRL friends or do you feel like you hide the bad stuff and try to put on that "perfect" face? I am guilty at times (my kids always foil my attempts, though :tongue_smilie:).

 

It is always nice to come here and know that I am not alone...:grouphug:

 

I'm real...sometimes too real. I have a really hard time not being me. In fact, I think being me has caused me to lose some aquaintances I am really better off without. If we can't share our trials and our triumphs with eachother...who else will understand?? This homeschool thing is HARD!!! Being with your kids ALL DAY LONG EVERY DAY is hard! I find it hard to cook, clean, school, work, be a good wife, mother, sister, daughter, grand daughter, daughter-in law and then be teacher, guidance counselor, career counselor, marriage counselor (to my oldest kids) dating specialist, tour guide, nanny, nurse etc. BUT, I wouldn't trade my life or my REAL for anything.

 

I think I left my mask somewhere about 15 years ago...and I really do not want it back! LOL!!!

 

~~Faithe (whose real really annoys some people because they can't be their fake around it...)

[keptwoman]

I don't know how I would survive without some friends to be real with.

[Kim in Appalachia]

I've never tried to put on a face. That's because when I first heard about homeschooling it was from an amazing group of people who were all real. We were living in a city and attending a new church when I first heard about homeschooling. Not everyone in the church homeschooled, a few homeschooled, a few sent their kids to private school, and a few to ps. Everyone was honest about their struggles. No one tried to put a face on anything, nor was their a feeling that you had to choose one way over another. Everyone had their own reasons for their school choice, and they all struggled with their decisions (no matter what they choose). Those who homeschooled talked about their frustrations and bad days. I knew, even before my 1st was born, that homeschooling was not easy and took a lot of commitment. I knew there would be days I would want to hide in the bathroom and days that I loved.

 

I think we do a disservice to others if we put on a face about homeschooling (or any type schooling for that matter). Those who are just starting need to know that it can be hard, you can get burned out, and you can enjoy it (sometimes, you can feel that way all in one day).

[Carrie12345]

Yes.

 

Our hs group meets from 10-3. They've seen me deal with a very cranky toddler. They've seen me keep my 6yo inside after throwing sand. They've heard me react to dh's phone calls, telling me he's getting on a plane for work in an hour. They've seen me reach my limit and pack up all the kids at noon.

 

No way could I pull all this off with an act, and no way would I want to expend even more energy trying to!

 

But yeah, it does make me look like the witch of the group. :tongue_smilie:

[Pamela H in Texas]

I am who I am. I have embarrassed myself more than a few times. My kids have embarrassed me less.

 

And honestly, the people around here seem real enough. They have no issue saying how much they are neglecting their children's education (for example, one lady told me her kids were several years behind, but later in the conversation said she wasn't willing to spend more than 15 min one on one with any one of them and that she can't get them to do their independent work). They don't seem to care what others think of their parenting (allowing a 1yr old to wander off at the park to the point of taking a full 5 minutes, not panic stricken somehow, looking for him).

 

They did seem to have a need to seem "comfortable" financially. I couldn't fake that at the time as my hubby had recently been laid off. I would just stay out of that conversation for the most part anyway.

 

ETA: I think the only thing I've been accused of not being real about is discipline. But as people get to know me, they see I really am real about that also.

 

OH, I was accused on here, when I had my stroke almost 4 yrs ago, of trolling. A woman I knew IRL and a few posters who knew I was a regular stepped in and stopped that nonsense. That was before we moved here and people could see that I am in the top 10% for number of posts :)

Edited March 16, 2010 by 2J5M9K

[dirty ethel rackham]

I'm real. And not even to just homeschoolers. Many people who don't homeschool always wonder how I do it - I just say "smoke and mirrors". Seriously, I tell him that it isn't perfect, just like schools aren't perfect, but we make do.

[Mermaid Mama]

I think we assume that we all have said things we regret in a moment of frustration.

 

I think so too.

[lollie010]

Like some of the others have stated, I think that I tend to let it all show. I openly talk about my struggles with hs'ers and non hs'ers. I think when we aren't real then we become the excuse for others not to try hs'ing. I hate to hear people say things like "I could never hs, because I am not as patient as you are." I say "Nope, no patience here, just doing the best I can." Or "I could never hs because my kids don't learn as easily as yours." I say "Nope, they don't learn easily, just doing the best we can." The list of comparisons can go on it on. I do try to be positive, but I don't want to paint unrealistic expectations. It is work, it is hard work, but it is an AMAZING life.

[Mejane]

Our homeschool group is letitallhangout, noholdsbarred real. Give us a glass of wine at an evening event, and it gets even real-er. :D

[Nestof3]

I try to be real, because that is the only way I know how to have real friendships, but I usually feel inappropriate for doing so. I think friendships at this stage of my life are not what they were when I was in my early 20's. The only person I end up being real around is my husband, and he cannot relate to all of my experiences. At this point, I have just accepted that those friendships are a thing of the past along with a toned body and no wrinkles. LOL

[Nakia]

I am pretty real all the time. This is hard, and we need people we can be real with!

[mrsrevmeg]

Yes, I can be real. Too real, sometimes. But only a few of my acquaintances homeschool--I'm "real" with others at church and my dfs, who don't homeschool.

I believe in living a fairly open life as a pastor's wife--it's part of my personal calling to be quite honest about my failings, w/o "roughing the listener." :D

 

What she said sounds like it could have been written by me.

[Tree House Academy]

I envy you all! The homeschool group I go to is one where I am not very close with anyone. They all live a town away and we just do co-op there. I mean, I have acquaintances there, but none of them talk deep into the struggles of homeschooling. I do have 3 close friends who all homeschool and I think I am pretty real with them. My one dear friend, bless her, sees it ALL. The other two are ladies from my church and they are pretty approachable and they are not afraid to talk about the struggles. We have a ladies church group where the three of us often talk about the tough times...in life as well as in homeschooling.

 

Sometimes, in public, I feel like we are giving homeschoolers a bad name. My kids are far from well behaved all the time...and I feel like some terrible mother when we are out and they are just not listening. That is definitely NOT what I see other homeschooled kids doing. I feel like a homeschooling mom who is raising public school behaving kids (and I mean the trouble makers!). :( No way to hide it, but it sure does make me self conscious. My older son is really my biggest challenge. He has a lot of ISSUES that really drive me bonkers. I have still not found the best way to help him or deal with him and it shows. :(

[DarlaS]

I guess so. I can think of a couple of occasions where I've barked at one of my kids in front of other homeschoolers. I can think of occasions where they have yelled at theirs too. ;)

 

I guess it's a pretty real kind of group--and I was in one once that was NOT. Oy.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm not real in any group that is just acquaintances flung together because of a shared interest/activity (homeschooling or otherwise). I am very real with actual friends.

[Crissy]

I have even yelled at my 6 year old a time or two over his math in sheer frustration. Those are just things I don't share with most of my IRL homeschool mom friends.

 

I wouldn't share those things, either, but not because I'm not 'real'. I don't share negative things that happen in my home largely because I don't like to focus on them.

 

If I've had a bad day and yelled at my son, I want to apologize to him, work our our differences and get over it. I don't want to relive those moments at home, and I especially don't want to relive them with my friends.

 

If that gives people outside our family the impression that I 'hide' the bad moments in my life, so be it. The truth is I am not hiding a thing. I just focus on a different part of my life.

[Impish]

I'm 'real' with SpecialMama. She gets me.

 

I'm not 'real' about all our challenges, etc, because the most common reaction I get (before I learned to keep my mouth shut) was that hsing was too much for me with my disability, I should put Diva in school. :glare:

[Mommyof4ks]

YES! My fellow homeschooling friends are the only ones that I can be real with. My non-homeschooling friends just ask why I don't stick the kids in school, so we talk about other stuff. My homeschooling friends get it, and we all have those days of frustrations.

[lionfamily1999]

I don't know my hsing friends enough to be "real" open with them, if that's what you mean. We don't really talk about much other than the present moment.

 

With my non-hsing friends, I'm "real" about it. They'd have to wonder how such a huge change came over us otherwise ;)

 

It's funny, because I'm more likely to be "real" with the bad stuff (if I have to sit for two hours waiting on ten math problems ever again I'll scream), but not so much with the good stuff (Andrew is still excelling at --------). :shrug: It seems like not many people want to hear about our triumphs, but misery loves company.

[RoughCollie]

I think I'm pretty much myself around other people. I have things I don't talk about with people, though, because those things are private.

 

I generally do not discuss the kids or DH with others, unless the subject happens to come up and my response is a positive one.

 

I don't discuss financial affairs except with my very closest friends and family -- and I usually avoid even that.

 

I do not discuss politics and religion with people who want to argue about those subjects, unless those people are my children. I don't like to argue and my religious views are not up for debate.

 

I do not discuss my s*x life and I refuse to engage in conversations about other people's s*x lives. That is a 100% private matter, IMO. It always shocks me to the core when other people talk about those things to me. It's not like IRL I can skip over the thread.

 

When my kids were little, and we would go the grocery store, I would listen to other mothers talking to their little kids. They had such strange tones of voice -- super sweet -- and I thought maybe something was wrong with me because I didn't talk to my kids like that.

 

One day after a trip to the store, the kids came right and asked me why other mothers didn't talk to their kids like they were people. I heaved a huge sigh of relief because further discussion elicited the fact that they had been wondering about all these syrupy sweet-talking mothers, too.

 

When the kids get on my nerves, I sometimes talk like that to them because it gets on their nerves. Payback, but it lightens the mood.

 

So I guess I'm real, but I don't let it all hang out. I do have a problem in that I am not inscrutable enough to suit myself. I do not have a poker face IRL, even though I practice it in the mirror.

Edited March 16, 2010 by RoughCollie

[Tap]

If it is someone I just met....no I don't go into all my dirty laundry, but not just about homeschooling....this is true for anything in my life.

 

 

To friends who I have known for a long time...sure we call each other and rant. Or to get ideas on what to do and get suggestions. Because my friends know my dd11 pretty well they have been able to give me suggestions sometimes that have panned out beautifully. Sometimes we are just too close to the problem to really see it.

[Denisemomof4]

I am reading a book called, "Lies Homeschool Mom's Believe" and I came to a section that really speaks to me. It talks about being REAL around other homeschoolers. They specifically mention yelling at the kids, saying things you regret in a moment of frustration, having struggles. So, I wonder, do many of you feel like you can be REAL around your IRL homeschool mom friends? I do...with some. Others, I don't share these things with. I do tend to think that I am the only one who gets frustrated with the kids for dawdling, fighting during school, etc. I do occasionally yell at them for it. I have even yelled at my 6 year old a time or two over his math in sheer frustration. Those are just things I don't share with most of my IRL homeschool mom friends. It seems like we have to put on this "face" or face the harsh judgement of others who will tell us we are terrible mom's. I know that people here sometimes really put themselves out there only to have a brew-ha-ha free-for-all held in their honor on the board :glare: but my question is, are you REAL about your homeschooling with your IRL friends or do you feel like you hide the bad stuff and try to put on that "perfect" face? I am guilty at times (my kids always foil my attempts, though :tongue_smilie:).

 

It is always nice to come here and know that I am not alone...:grouphug:

 

a brew ha-ha free-for-all??? Has that ever happened to me? ;) Can anyone say SHOES??? :D:D:D

 

In answer to your question: YES. I moved to NH after living in CA all my life. I found people here VERY, VERY reserved. I started to guard my tongue more, but it just wasn't me. After 9/11 I decided life was too short and like me or not, I am who I am and I know I'm a good person. If you judge me for being real when I say/do something - YOUR issue, not mine. People, for the most part, really appreciate that. And being open and honest tends to draw people out more. They may not take that first step at first, but will respond to me. Later, they do become more outgoing.

 

I can't be any other way but real.

 

Perfect example was last week at our new homeschool co-op. My oldest dd, whom is SO sweet and a GREAT kid, lied to me. If there's one issue I have, it's lying. I can't stand a liar as lies ruin relationships. My kids have heard a lot about how I feel from me. But dd didn't want to admit the truth - that she didn't study for her Latin test and she also didn't want to admit she didn't do her Latin homework. I gave her several opportunities to come clean. When she didn't, I got very upset with her - right there in the hall with people walking around and kids stopping to watch me talk to her. I let her know that I was very disappointed in her and that dh and I would be dealing with the lying issue later. I said much more, don't remember what, while moms and kids were walking around us. Knowing my memory issues, I had to deal with it then and there. I couldn't address this outside as we were between classes and didn't have time to go outside.

 

One mom looked surprised, but all the others minded their own business, with the little smirk about them that showed me they understood.

 

If anyone had an issue with that, their problem.

 

Oh, and my life is an open book with my youngest. Yet again tomorrow and again on Thu. at our co-ops she'll be sitting and doing her schoolwork, NOT participating in her classes or playing with the kids. The co-ops are a privilege to attend when all schoolwork is done. When one chooses not to do schoolwork, often times for a WEEK, they choose not to have play dates or co-op until schoolwork is caught up. Do all parents understand? No. Do I care? No. It's none of their business. Most don't understand the special circumstances I have to deal with and have NO IDEA what I have to live with.

 

I think to be real is the best thing. For the most part, people appreciate it. There will be those reserved people who won't openly share, but I'm me and I'm REAL and that's that. ;)

[OrganicAnn]

brew-ha-ha

 

just fyi brouhaha

[Aubrey]

Yup, but I don't think most people believe me. We tend to talk about our shortcomings & laugh. Sometimes it's not funny, but...what are you going to do? It gets pretty uncomfortable if you don't laugh at yourself, & they all brush me off w/, "Oh, but your kids are so well-behaved."

 

Sure. So doesn't that make it WORSE that I lose it sometimes? And let's be honest. "Sometimes" is a euphamism.

 

ETA: Wait. Maybe that means *they* aren't being real w/ *me.* Hmmm... ;)

[lionfamily1999]

just fyi brouhaha

Spelling police, spelling police :lol: We have a brouhaha brewing on aisle 4!!!!

 

Lol, just kidding ;)

[jujsky]

My co-op is small and we've become very close. Yes, I can be REAL around those people. I can share my fears and frustrations with them. If I was with newer people, then no -- I don't think I could do that.

[Excelsior! Academy]

To my hs friends, yes! To my very anti-homeschooling family and friends:glare:, no.

 

I love my hs friends!

[MelanieM]

I wouldn't share those things, either, but not because I'm not 'real'. I don't share negative things that happen in my home largely because I don't like to focus on them.

 

If I've had a bad day and yelled at my son, I want to apologize to him, work our our differences and get over it. I don't want to relive those moments at home, and I especially don't want to relive them with my friends.

 

If that gives people outside our family the impression that I 'hide' the bad moments in my life, so be it. The truth is I am not hiding a thing. I just focus on a different part of my life.

 

YES! I was reading along, and preparing to say something exactly like this. I am real with friends, and when we are having heart-to-heart conversations or working through things together, this type of thing will certainly come up. But I don't go around focusing on what isn't working, as I know that giving my attention to things only serves to help them grow. So if "being real" means ranting or venting, then no, I don't do that.

 

That said, I'm pretty real about this particular stance as well... so people might often hear me talk about how I'm focusing on the positive, and why I feel that's important. I never hide the fact that life happens, as it surely does for everyone.

Edited March 17, 2010 by MelanieM

[lakotajm]

If I've had a bad day and yelled at my son, I want to apologize to him, work our our differences and get over it. I don't want to relive those moments at home, and I especially don't want to relive them with my friends.

 

 

 

Thank you for saying this. That is usually how I feel. But sometimes I let my mind wonder if it is shame. I am convinced, at times, that I am the world's worst mom-though surely I cannot be. But I try to think of what I even pointed out to my dd5 this morning: Jesus takes all our bad and wipes it away and then says, "Alright, what you have to work with is the moment you are in right now, so what shall it be?" We can never be perfect (she is a strong persevering perfectionist), and Jesus couldn't save us if we were. So he doesn't bother waiting around until we are. He takes us as we are right now-warts and all.

P.S.-Just for the record, I'm pretty sure I yelled at my kids today (should that be a bumper sticker?)

 

Lakota

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I have been very honest with the women who are my friends (not acquaintances, just neighbors or people I meet at the park).

 

With others I will usually explain that families don't have to be perfect to homeschool. That my kids still frustrate me. That I am not always patient or ready to teach every subject at the drop of a hat.

 

But I don't think that I owe telling everyone I meet about my each and every flaw, anymore than I have to tell casual acquaintances about my kids' issues in detail or to complain about my husband. I don't think that is being unReal. I think that it is simply a reflection of different levels of relationship.

[StephanieZ]

Oh, I am very real, lol. My IRL hs friends are all pretty darn real. We commiserate, collaborate. . . and have an ongoing fb "competition" for the "Meanest Mom in MXXXXtown". We admit losing it, we commiserate on how having laryngitis eliminates our ability to parent our kids b/c they can't hear us yelling, etc. LOL.

 

I think being a good friend includes helping eachother be our best selves. . . and you can't be your own best self if you think you're the only one who struggles. Knowing you have good friends, who are also good moms, who share your difficulties makes it all easier and helps us all to be better moms and better friends. IMHO.

 

Frankly, my IRL mom-friends are all very loving, very involved, excellent parents. Lots of strong, confident women, too. Lots of different parenting and schooling styles. . . but 100% good folks. If that weren't the case, then the commiserating wouldn't be easy. . . as you'd be judging instead of empathizing. . . But, so long as you are on the same page and know eachother to be loving, respectful, kind people. . . then I think that being as REAL as possible is part of being a good friend and part of living with integrity.

[LaissezFaire]

I know I am. I can recall one situation. It was a tough year, my first year schooling three grade levels and I was just at the end of my rope. I had all 5 kids with me and we were running to Target to get a few things and as we were walking in I ran into my very best homeschooling-mom friend. We exchanged the typical 'how are things' and I was so down I just sighed and said I was completely overwhelmed on the urge of a breakdown.

 

She immediately offered to take home three of the kids and order a pizza and told me to meet her there when I was done shopping. Did I mention she is my very best friend? I feel like not being real does not get me the support I need nor does it make me more accesible to those who may need support from me.

 

On another note, do people ask you, "Is homeschooling easy?" I get this ALL the time. I don't know why anyone would ask that honestly. I always reply, "No, it's hard, the hardest thing I have ever done and a lot of work. But it's completely worth it."

Edited March 17, 2010 by LaissezFaire

[KathyBC]

I am real with my sister. Or I try to be. We both homeschool so we "get it". Even before school age, though, we would phone each other and vent.

 

I don't like to dwell on my failings, but it's certainly not all sunshine and roses around here, either. In the past I have tended to share too much with others and not protect myself enough. Sharing my struggles by extension would reveal my family's vulnerabilities and I don't want to do that to them, either.

[jld]

I love the book you mentioned, and I am going to bring it back to India with me the next time I go home. I have recommended it to some friends, and they seem to have enjoyed it, too.

 

Being real, as honest as you can be, makes you vulnerable. You may be misunderstood. That is the risk of being real. But I am not sure you can touch other people's hearts as effectively by being any other way. And you give yourself the gift of inner peace when you are honest and open.

 

It takes a lot of strength to be honest and open. Especially when you feel you are the only one being that way.

[TXMary2]

I have a core group of friends that I can be real with - the good, the bad and the ugly. It helps that we are like minded and deal with similar life situations and come from similar backgrounds.

[applesing]

I feel that I can be completely open with my hs friends. We share the same joys, frustrations and vision.

 

I have such strong opinions about the public school system that I must bite my tongue a bit with my friends whose kids are in public school.

[Susan in TN]

It really depends on who I'm with. There are certain people with whom I'm quieter about negative things simply because I know that if I mention a struggle I'm having with this or that, they will immediately jump in and ask if I've tried this, or that, or the other thing; or in some way determine that they MUST work with me to get things back on track right away. It's exhausting for me and generally not helpful.

[rafiki]

.

[lovemywhirlygirls]

I am very fortunate to have 3 homeschool moms with whom I am very close. We share the good, the bad, the ugly, the amazing on a very regular basis. We are all in the same book, if not exactly on the same page when it comes to faith/parenting/homeschooling. We all mutually respect each other's circumstances, motivations, etc. and we all lay ourselves down and open ourselves up to accountability and counsel within the group. I do not know if I could do this without them.

 

Additionally, there is a group of about 12-15 women from a local homeschool group who have come to love each other and lean on each other. We meet monthly and discuss everything from meal-planning to marriages, from finances to faith, from curriculum to developmental disorders, from wonderful accomplishments to losing it and going to far with yelling or spanking or whatever and we pray together. This group offers a bit wider variety. Most of us are in the "same book", some of us are on the "same shelf" but we're all there for each other and we are REAL.

 

My heart aches for those of you who have posted in other threads (haven't read all of the posts in this on yet) that you are going it mostly alone. I benefit, my husband benefits and my children benefit from my REAL relationships with these women.

 

Now off to read the other responses.:auto:

[Jill- OK]

I'm not real in any group that is just acquaintances flung together because of a shared interest/activity (homeschooling or otherwise). I am very real with actual friends.

 

I don't know that I hide things from non-buddies...but it's a lot easier to share hard stuff with real friends. One of my best friends is single, and a public school teacher. I can be real with her, it doesn't matter what she does or that I homeschool; she knows and loves me and can encourage me to either do better, or not beat myself up.

 

Most of my good friends homeschool, but that's sort of a coincidence...we don't really talk about homeschooling a lot, specifically, but we do talk about life.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

My friends and I are very real with each other. It didnt start that way I assure you. But the more time we spend together and get to be closer friends we are. And now we are at the point that you would be suprised what we talk about :001_huh:

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I am very fortunate to have 3 homeschool moms with whom I am very close. We share the good, the bad, the ugly, the amazing on a very regular basis. .:auto:

 

 

I am very fortunate in that respect too. I have 2 very close friends, who when we talk the kids groan LOL (all of our 13 combined kids are very good friends too.... maybe too good for a few :001_wub::glare:

[Tree House Academy]

I have two best friends that I grew up with. If I needed them, they would drop everything and be at my side. However, both are quite critical of homeschooling and I don't dare talk to them about the negatives of it all. We share every other element of life...but not this. One of those friends is mother of two who works full time. The other is married but never had children. I guess we are just really in different places in life. That makes it hard too.

[ubermomto5]

to be honest, i don't WANT anyone to see me that way. as a mom alone, homeschooling aside, i yell sometimes, get frustrated, send everyone OUT cause i need a break. those aren't the moments that i care to share with anyone. however, i don't hide them either, since i don't know anyone who doesn't feel that way sometimes. homeschool is just like a refiners fire since you get all the things that come with being a mom, only 24/7 till the end of time (or when they decide to move out). so as long as i apologize to my kids for the more spectacular episodes, i move on. and laugh about it later with my husband or friends. any parent can relate!