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One person came to my 12yo's bday party.

Renee in NC
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Renee in NC

Renee in NC

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Even people who RSVP'd didn't show up. I feel sick for him! How cruel.:glare:

 

He called one person who was supposed to come a little late and found out he had forgotten. His Dad said it wasn't worth him coming now because it was almost over.

 

The one person who did come had to leave early because her brother got sick. So, by an hour and a half into the party, no one was left.

 

:crying:

 

UPDATE!

 

The boy who didn't make it because it was too late for him to come threw him a surprise birthday party at Scouts today. He is happy and all is well! What a wonderful thing for him to do for my ds.:D

Edited by Renee in FL
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mchel210

mchel210

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Im sorry. Maybe your family can just do something fun together to get this out of his mind!

 

I am just done having B-day parties. I feel like a bad mom but I am tired of my kids feeling sad.

 

My dd just turned 9 yesterday and I told her I would spend the party money on her instead...and that made her happier. My 14 yo was 2 weeks ago and we just did a really nice dinner date with my parents. That was really fun. I planned a whole party for my 7yo last NOv and everyone was too busy to come since it was near thanksgiving. They flat out told me they would rather shop. Ughh. Frustrating. But...on the flip side...we dont GO to many parties now either. We try and pick one or two to attend for our close friends. (I know Im terrible)

 

Im sorry!!

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Heather in OK

Heather in OK

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:grouphug: That really stinks!!! For both of you!!

 

My dd had her 12th birthday two weeks ago and had a sleepover. She invited three girls. One from church came and actually stayed the whole time. The other two live in our neighborhood. About thirty minutes after the party one neighbor girl's mom called to say that she had to come home. Her Girl Scout troop was leaving on a trip in the morning (they thought it would be cancelled due to weather but they changed their mind). The other neighbor girl had to leave at 8pm for a basketball game and came back over at almost 10pm. We were in the middle of the first party game when both girls had to leave so we had to rush through it. :(

 

And that's after all three girls sent text messages while we ate pizza!!! I finally told them, "Put your cell phones on the entertainment center. If it rings and it's your parents, you can answer it. Otherwise it stays up here." :001_rolleyes:

 

My dd was really bummed. Around 9:30 I asked if she wanted to have cake and ice cream. She just shrugged her shoulders and said, "Oh, I don't know. I guess." :crying:

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elise1mds

elise1mds

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I *HATE* it when that happens. And it just seems like a snowball that when one person doesn't come, nobody comes. Your poor baby shouldn't have had to deal with that. :( I would be making some phone calls and giving a few people a piece of my mind, but that is just me. I hope your son is okay. :grouphug:

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Renee in NC

Renee in NC

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:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

How rude!!! I'm so sorry. How is your d.s. taking it?

 

He cried - he has been thinking of nothing but his party since about 3 weeks ago. Now he feels as if he doesn't have any friends again. He has taken the move from NC harder than any of the others.

 

I knew (from here :D) that people often don't RSVP, so I planned to have more than those who *had* RSVP'd.

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MyBlueLobsters

MyBlueLobsters

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He cried - he has been thinking of nothing but his party since about 3 weeks ago. Now he feels as if he doesn't have any friends again. He has taken the move from NC harder than any of the others.

 

I knew (from here :D) that people often don't RSVP, so I planned to have more than those who *had* RSVP'd.

 

 

Oh my word. I'm in tears for him. This literally broke my heart into pieces. :crying:

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ConnieB

ConnieB

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This seems to be "normal" for upper elementary and older kids....they say they'll come but something "better" comes up or they forget (don't they teach kids in public school how to use a calendar???). We've given up even inviting the few PS friends we do have......and we typically are on the phone calling the day or two before for the homeschool kids.

 

This year I'll have my 2nd teenager, and we've all decided to skip the "friends" party and just go do a big thing as a family. Thank heavens we've homeschooled their whole life so the kids are all much closer than I or my DH ever were with our siblings so it's not a big deal that birthday is family.

 

I'm so sorry that your son was hurt, though. That is so very sad. Please tell him that my family wishes him a wonderful 'last year before teenagerdom'!!!!!!!! And hey, next year, invite some WTMers....we seem to know the importance of RSVP and then showing up!

 

:grouphug:

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Renee in NC

Renee in NC

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Poor kid--that just sucks that people dont have the courtesy to say something. That is the reason why I now let the kids invite one or two close friends to go out to a movie or something. They end up having just as good a time.

 

Wonder how close you are....my kids would totally have come over. :)

 

We're near Daytona.

 

The mother of the boy who he called just called me apologizing profusely that he didn't get there. It seems there was a miscommunication between her and her ds about his being able to come at all.

 

He's going to watch the SuperCross dirt bike races at the track tonight, so it isn't a total bust of a day. Thankfully his birthday was actually last Saturday (while he was a Boy Scout camp) so it didn't ruin his actual birth*day*.

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hornblower

hornblower

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This has happened to us too. It's awful. I don't know if it will help him to know that this happened to other kids.

 

Because in our family adults don't have parties - we just go out to a nice restaurant for dinner as a family (sometimes grandparents come along), we've just gently segued into a more 'grown-up' party like that. If the child has one or two friends who you are pretty close to 100% certain would come, I'd ditto the movie or similar.

 

It is very sad & I'm sorry that this will be his memory of this day.

 

Happy birthday to your dear son. My almost 12yo would have loved to come.

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Daisy

Daisy

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How horrible!

 

We don't have parties because of this. It isn't even because my children are lacking in friends. Simply put, people are just RUDE. They "assume" everyone else is going to be there and their absence won't be noticed.

 

Of course in CA, it is practically impossible to get people to RSVP. I was raised that it was incredibly rude not to RSVP, but here people show up without having ever RSVPed or they RSVP, never show, and leave you having paid for a bunch of extra stuff.

 

Grrrr. Our family has concluded we'd rather take our money and go do something fun rather than throw a party and invite people with no manners.

 

I'm so mad. I could come do some smack-down for your 12yo. Man, people are unbelievable.

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lovemyboys

lovemyboys

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He cried - he has been thinking of nothing but his party since about 3 weeks ago. Now he feels as if he doesn't have any friends again. He has taken the move from NC harder than any of the others.

 

I knew (from here :D) that people often don't RSVP, so I planned to have more than those who *had* RSVP'd.

 

Dc went to a party a couple weeks ago. We're in an area that's had lots of snow cancellations, so that might've played into it .... the mother sent a reminder "evite" thing a few days before the party.

 

At the time I was surprised by it. But I wonder if she's had a similar experience as you just had.

 

So sorry for your guy. :grouphug: Hope you can find one, two, a few good friends for him before long. Especially since this is a tough move. Prayers for him and for you, hurting for him.

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Renee in NC

Renee in NC

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We have never had a birthday party for anyone other than family and that is why. I am so sorry that happened to your son. :( Hope you can salvage the day!

 

We had huge b-day parties in NC. We didn't have them every year or even for every child. One time (for this same child) there was 45 people present (including adults, but it was so much fun for all ages!)

 

Now that I think about it, the same type of thing happened for my oldest's 16th. He invited about 75 people and approximately 50 RSVP'd through FaceBook that they were coming (he set it up as an event and handled invitations that way.) About 30 showed up, but that was perfect and they had a blast, so it didn't bother me (other than the huge amount of food we had leftover!)

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Ibbygirl

Ibbygirl

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Even people who RSVP'd didn't show up. I feel sick for him! How cruel.:glare:

 

He called one person who was supposed to come a little late and found out he had forgotten. His Dad said it wasn't worth him coming now because it was almost over.

 

The one person who did come had to leave early because her brother got sick. So, by an hour and a half into the party, no one was left.

 

:crying:

 

I'm so sorry. :grouphug: This has happened to us too. I even called all of the people who were supposed to come the night before to remind them. One person showed up. One person came. :( It stinks. :( I had bought so many hamburgers and hotdogs. I cooked them up and invited the neighbors to come celebrate with us. Maybe it will make it easier to bear if your son sees that it's nothing wrong with him and that this has happened to a lot of other people too. Please tell him for my part that I and my family wish him a very happy birthday. :grouphug:

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specialmama

specialmama

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He cried - he has been thinking of nothing but his party since about 3 weeks ago. Now he feels as if he doesn't have any friends again. He has taken the move from NC harder than any of the others.

 

I knew (from here :D) that people often don't RSVP, so I planned to have more than those who *had* RSVP'd.

 

 

Renee, is there a friend in NC who he'd like to call? Maybe you can secretly phone the parent of one of his old chums and ask them to have their son phone your son for his birthday?

We moved across the country a few years ago and I think that for my dd's 12th birthday I'd like to spend all my airmiles to get her best friend over here for a weekend. That is worth more than many parties and games and presents!

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Brenda in FL

Brenda in FL

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Oh I am so sorry!! I wish we had met in real life by now - my son would have loved to have gone to a birthday party today. My kids also haven't met any friends yet - (I don't think anyone under 18 lives in Ponce Inlet!!) - So I know how isolating that can be.

 

I've been thinking since there are a few of us here in Volusia Co. maybe we should plan a WTM get together - what do you think??

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Renee in NC

Renee in NC

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Oh I am so sorry!! I wish we had met in real life by now - my son would have loved to have gone to a birthday party today. My kids also haven't met any friends yet - (I don't think anyone under 18 lives in Ponce Inlet!!) - So I know how isolating that can be.

 

I've been thinking since there are a few of us here in Volusia Co. maybe we should plan a WTM get together - what do you think??

 

Sounds good.

 

And there are people under 18 in Ponce Inlet and they are homeschoolers, too.:D They may be the only other under 18's there, but they are there!:lol:

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HollyDay

HollyDay

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This has happened to us 2 years in a row now.

 

2 years ago, families showed up late and left before we ate. Dd had planned burgers on the grill with all the usual sides, and cake, drinks, etc. We have a pool so it was a pool party. No one stayed for burgers. The party was from about 2-5. Most got there about 3 and left by 4.

 

This last year, we just planned cake and snacks and a pool party from about 2-5. Again, folks showed up quite late and left early. I was looking forward to chatting with the moms. Dh wanted to talk to the dads. But, the moms just dropped off and the dads didn't show. We called and asked if the last remaining party guest could stay for dinner to try and make up for some of the hurt. Everyone RSVP that they would attend.

 

It really hurts. My youngest doesn't even try for a party anymore. We take her out to tea.

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Renee in NC

Renee in NC

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This has happened to us 2 years in a row now.

 

2 years ago, families showed up late and left before we ate. Dd had planned burgers on the grill with all the usual sides, and cake, drinks, etc. We have a pool so it was a pool party. No one stayed for burgers. The party was from about 2-5. Most got there about 3 and left by 4.

 

This last year, we just planned cake and snacks and a pool party from about 2-5. Again, folks showed up quite late and left early. I was looking forward to chatting with the moms. Dh wanted to talk to the dads. But, the moms just dropped off and the dads didn't show. We called and asked if the last remaining party guest could stay for dinner to try and make up for some of the hurt. Everyone RSVP that they would attend.

 

It really hurts. My youngest doesn't even try for a party anymore. We take her out to tea.

 

:grouphug: to you and everyone else out there that has dealt with this. I won't pretend to understand what happened, but I think I can at least convince him that it wasn't personal. That is how we both took it.:glare:

 

I will also go out of my way to attend any birthday party we are invited to, just so no one has to deal with *no* one showing up! I am very, very grateful to the one person who came (and her mother for bringing her.)

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sheryl

sheryl

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Even people who RSVP'd didn't show up. I feel sick for him! How cruel.:glare:

 

He called one person who was supposed to come a little late and found out he had forgotten. His Dad said it wasn't worth him coming now because it was almost over.

 

The one person who did come had to leave early because her brother got sick. So, by an hour and a half into the party, no one was left.

 

:crying:

 

So very sorry about that.....it makes me sad for you and any of us who've been faced with this issue.

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Pippen

Pippen

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So sorry--what a let down.

 

People are so busy anymore that usually I contacted the parents of a few friends that my kids wanted to have over for their bdays, and scheduling a time that would work for all of us. That way they knew for sure they'd have their few closest friends.

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StephanieZ

StephanieZ

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So sorry--what a let down.

 

People are so busy anymore that usually I contacted the parents of a few friends that my kids wanted to have over for their bdays, and scheduling a time that would work for all of us. That way they knew for sure they'd have their few closest friends.

 

I do this, too. I am super paranoid about my oldest's parties b/c her bday is 11 days before Christmas! By advance planning with a couple moms, you are sure that your kid's closest few friends will be able to come. Also, by scheduling it that way with the moms, they know how important it is to you and your kid that their child comes. It makes them feel good, and it helps ensure that they will make it no matter what else comes up.

 

This December, for dd13's b'day party 10 days before Christmas on a Sat night, there was a huge snowstorm, many conflicting events, etc, etc, but still most of her friends made it for our bonfire & fondue & sleepover party. The only ones who didn't make it were truly, completely, snowed in . . . anyone who could 4WD it out here, did. I was SOOO grateful. I think the keys for me are 1) the advance planning with key moms 2) planning sth as fun as possible.

 

HTH

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: When my kids were tiny, we were invited to a casual friend's bd party at Chuck E Cheese. She was turning 9, I think. My kids were 3 & 5. NOONE ELSE showed up!! She had planned for at least 10 other guests, and I think invited everyone in her class! I felt SOOOO horrible for the girl and her mom. . . and was so glad that at least we were there. The girl's dad was working and so it was just her, her mom, and her infant brother! I just kept thinking. . . what if we hadn't been able to come???!!??! I have been paranoid about similar things ever since. UGH. It could happen to anyone -- just bad luck mostly. SOOOO RUDE of the RSVPers!!

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3littlekeets

3littlekeets

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Here, if you don't do the party at the Univ. Pool or Paint Ball, at that age, nobody will come. Younger ages=Chuck E. Cheese or an Inflatable Playground or 0 will show up. Sad...home parties here just don't work.

 

It's disgusting; friends don't come for their friend, they come for the "place." So, we just do family birthday trips for the weekend -- we spend about the same as we would to "buy" attendance, and don't have to deal with too many unwanted gifts :tongue_smilie:

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Sebastian (a lady)

Sebastian (a lady)

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That's awful. I am so sorry that his acquaintances were so thoughtless.

:grouphug:

 

When we lived in Germany, I enjoyed how many words there were for identifying people you knew. We have a wide range in English, too, but it seems like we tend to use friend for everyone, even when they don't behave in the way that friends ought.

 

I propose a campaign to revive more specific terms.

 

acquaintance

classmate

teammate

colleague

neighbor

coworker

 

fellow (scout, homeschooler)

 

Maybe even words like chum to identify someone who is a faithful and loyal supporter in times of adventure and trouble.

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Sebastian (a lady)

Sebastian (a lady)

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Here, if you don't do the party at the Univ. Pool or Paint Ball, at that age, nobody will come. Younger ages=Chuck E. Cheese or an Inflatable Playground or 0 will show up. Sad...home parties here just don't work.

 

It's disgusting; friends don't come for their friend, they come for the "place." So, we just do family birthday trips for the weekend -- we spend about the same as we would to "buy" attendance, and don't have to deal with too many unwanted gifts :tongue_smilie:

 

My oldest decided not to have a party after we talked about it and concluded that people were likely to come for the free trip to the pool or the bowling alley, who really didn't care about him as a person at all.

 

This is one thing that I regret about moving a lot. We all do very well at forming acquaintances, but I feel like I (and my kids) left all of our confidants back at the last duty station.

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