Children with cell phones...

[Mogster]

...I feel like a dinosaur. I cannot see the need or even understand the fascination with kids having or "needing" cell phones. The kids (and parents) I encounter through our children's sports are all convinced that these things are necessities for their young children. Kids (outside our home school bubble) without cell phones are seriously ridiculed ( I have heard horrible stories!), and those children who do have phones text constantly. One mother just told me her daughter's grades had slipped from all A's to B's and C's. She was furious so she gave her what she thought was the ultimate punishment... she took her phone away for 2 days. What???!! I just don't understand it. Why do 10 year old children need to text their friends constantly? Is that even healthy? I must sound like a grandma, but I just can't "go with the flow" on this one. What are your thoughts?

[delaney]

my 2 oldest boys have them. I make them have them when they go places with friends and they load music on them. Oldest DS texts but not really all that much.

[GWOB]

I'm with you on this one, and I'm not even 30. Yes, dh and I have cell phones and use them quite often, but I refuse to allow my young children to have them. I hate the blank expressions on many teens' faces because they are so busy texting. I hate the inability of my younger sisters (ages 17 and 19) to hold a real conversation because they are constantly interrupted by that stupid cell phone. I hate that many kids cannot enjoy the here and now because they are too worried about texting so-and-so.:ack2:

 

Now, I will allow my children to get cell phones when they get jobs and can pay for them out of their own pockets. Until then, they will just have to suffer being the weirdo freaks with no phones, yet can have real conversations with real people.

[Danestress]

Maybe this is a regional thing?

 

Some of my boys' 12 and 13 year old friends have them. Mostly they only use them so that they can reach their parents, at least in my presence. These kids are in school all day and are not allowed to access cell phones there. But when they are with me, sometimes they call their parents on their cell phones to ask if they can go somewhere or do something. The only kids I have seen in this age group texting are a couple of girls that we carpool with to swimming. Maybe girls are more prone to this kind of thing?

 

Anyway, my younger kids don't have cell phones. But one plays tennis a couple of hours a day. He's with a coaching staff and there is a phone in the office, so I don't feel like he needs a cell phone, but I can understand how another parent might feel like there is added security in knowing that a child who is off without a parent has a way to contact them. I can see letting my son have a limited use phone because he does meet friends at the courts play tennis. Maybe better safe than sorry? My other son swims, and again, while he is there without me, there is coaching staff and besides, he is in the water.

 

But I do understand a parent just feeling like a phone allows a kid to call at any time if they are uncomfortable about something or scared.

 

My older son bought himself a cell phone at 16, but it was the kind where you pay for minutes and then use them and pay for more. Since he had to pay for the minutes and the time, he didn't abuse the phone.

[ProudGrandma]

I am so with you on this one. I just read an article where they were saying that children's ability to speak correct grammar has completely gone to pot becasue they all text now and we all know that good grammar is not used there. I can not come up with any GOOD reason why a child would need a cell phone until they are at least to the age of driving and driving alone (without an adult). We will be living like we live in the dark ages...no phone, no TV in bedrooms, no cell phones, no ipods (for a while yet....I don't want my kids plugged in and checked out), etc.

[Lizzie in Ma]

Sometimes there is a genuine need for having one with them.

They can be a useful tool, like any other.

We have only cell phones, no land line and we have a 3rd, "house phone".

 

When my older one babysits, or goes to a church teen event or something along those lines, we send her with the "house phone" for emergencies.

When they go day camp for a week in the summer and are staying with their grandparents, I also send it with them so the little one can say goodnight in bed.

 

That having been said, they are only allowed to use it with permission and it does not belong to them. There is no texting and I have it blocked on everyone's phone save my own.

[Pamela H in Texas]

My kids (17 and almost 15) have them, but don't have ANY of the issues we've heard about.

 

As for if a child went from A's to C's? NOT happening! If the cell phone with a good chunk of the reason, the cell phone would be GONE until the grades were pulled up and then we'd have some ongoing discussions to determine reasonable guidelines for cell phone usage.

 

We were getting ready for a much anticipated 3 day convention and one of the topics towards parents was that we may want to take our children's cell phones so they weren't tempted to use them during the convention. I about fell out of my chair! If I thought I needed to tell my kids how to handle their phones during convention times or go so far as to take them away, I would not have allowed them to have them in the first place! Sadly, I'm sure someone found this a timely reminder.

 

Sometimes I want to SCREAM: KIDS WANT DISCIPLINE. They appreciate gudelines and boundaries. It makes them feel LOVED and cared about. And even if they don't particularly appreciate a certain rule now, they probably will when their 25 and seeing the world much differently.

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

We give our kids pay-as-you-go phones when they start driving on their own, but they have to pay for their minutes themselves. I don't have a cell phone myself and my younger kids don't and won't because I don't let them go places without an adult. That's how much of a dinosaur I am.

 

The worst thing I've ever seen with a kid and cell phones was a girl on my kids' bowling league. I swear she would text while she was bowling! She would only look up to release the ball. When the league instructor finally told her she had to put the phone away, she never showed up again.

[Harriet Vane]

:iagree:

 

It's not the phones so much as the lack of manners. The constant texting, playing games, and being too preoccupied to interact with the live human beings around them.

 

If a child is to have a phone, they need to also be taught the proper use of it and the manners that go with that responsibility.

 

We keep two cell phones that are considered the family phones. Anytime a kid leaves my house they take a phone, but it is well understood that it is for emergencies only.

 

When a child in my presence is texting or preoccupied with the phone, I ask that person to put the phone completely away. I have been known to confiscate the phones of visitors. It's not an angry thing--I speak smilingly, calmly, assuming the child just needs a little coaching along. Most often it's not a problem, though I have had one or two teens object or roll their eyes at me.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

...I feel like a dinosaur. I cannot see the need or even understand the fascination with kids having or "needing" cell phones. The kids (and parents) I encounter through our children's sports are all convinced that these things are necessities for their young children. Kids (outside our home school bubble) without cell phones are seriously ridiculed ( I have heard horrible stories!), and those children who do have phones text constantly. One mother just told me her daughter's grades had slipped from all A's to B's and C's. She was furious so she gave her what she thought was the ultimate punishment... she took her phone away for 2 days. What???!! I just don't understand it. Why do 10 year old children need to text their friends constantly? Is that even healthy? I must sound like a grandma, but I just can't "go with the flow" on this one. What are your thoughts?

 

Last soccer season I had three kids on three different teams. Almost every weekend there were games at the same time at different places (different being an hour or more bus ride away).

 

I got a cell phone to give to the kid who was going to be the most unaccompanied, usually my oldest, but a couple of times my middle son.

 

We call it the away phone and it is loaded with emergency contacts. It is pay as you go, so I would notice pretty quickly if it started getting heavy use.

 

I appreciate getting a call as the kids are nearing our exit so that I can come and meet them after sports or scout trips without them waiting around in the dark for me to show up.

 

But they are very clear that the phone isn't theirs and that they don't have a right to it. It is a convenience for ME and a safety item for them.

[MaMa2005]

My friend's 2 son's just got cell phones. They are 10 and 6!!!!!!!!!! She calls them 'her electronic leash.' I call them obnoxious! Who does a 6 year old need to be calling/texting!?:confused:

[patchfire]

My cousin is ten and in fifth grade. Last week, her school system released early due to the weather. The schools did not call the parents, though a neighboring system did. Instead, the teacher calmly said to her class, "Okay, you can pull out your cell phones now, and call your parents." Needless to say, this left kids without cell phones (like my cousin) in a bit of a quandry! She did try to borrow a friend's phone but had trouble getting through; luckily our grandmother lives nearby, saw the announcement on the news, and went to get her!

 

I was astounded that so many kids in her class had cell phones. I suppose I could begin to see a potential use in middle school, but fifth grade? :/

[MomOfOneFunOne]

My 10 year old desperately wants a cell phone. Some of her friends have them and some don't. I will say that the ones who do that are good friends use them appropriately in my opinion -- which means that they don't use them at all unless calling a parent to arrange a pick-up or something.

 

My girl belongs to a girls club in which several of the girls have cell phones . . . probably most. The other night, they all had to remember to bring something the next week. So, a number of girls pulled out their cell phones and texted themselves the reminder. My daughter was in awe.

 

I don't want my daughter to have a cell phone, certainly not at 10. Really, I wish she didn't want one and feel a little . . . I don't know . . . I kind of thought that with a happy, fun life, she wouldn't feel the desire. She should just enjoy life and not worry about it.

 

And on grades, et c. I agree with previous posters: the phone would go if the kid didn't know how to use it responsibly.

[MamaT]

All of my kids have phones. They have activities that leave them without us for hours at a time. I like the fact that they can call us if they need to. We haven't had any issues with the phones so far. My kids do well on their schoolwork, have good manners, and know their phones are a privilege - not a right.

 

I like knowing that they can get in touch with us if they need to. All their friends have phones as well. Most of my 10yo dd's friends are her gym team who are also away from their parents for hours every day, so that may be why they also have phones at their age.

[LinRTX]

I agree with this. My kids get their own cell phones when they drive without an adult, so 17. None before then. And even then we allow no texting on the phone.

 

My son got a phone with text when he could afford it on his own. We actually had a run in when he was visiting at Christmas. He was texting at the table while we were eating. I was trying to have a conversation with him. I told him the house rule was no texting at the table. He told me that if I didn't want him there he would just go back to his apartment (he's 24 and lives 2 hours away). I explained that I do want him there, but all of him. I wanted a complete conversation, not a half-hearted one. I don't see him that often and I thought it was rude to be texting while I was trying to talk to him. He actually understood and now leaves the room to text.

 

Linda

[Homemaker]

I totally agree, my kids are still very young, but I definately don't plan on getting them a cell phone until they are driving on their own (17) and even then it will still be very limited. I DO NOT want my kid to be the annoying kid constantly texting instead of interacting with real people and depending on the constant contact of friends. When we were at my in-laws awhile ago, my two teen neices were constantly texting while they were there. If I were the mother, I would of at least taken the stupid phones away while they were suppose to be spending time with their grandparents they hardly see.

 

I saw a study awhie ago about how having the constant cotact with friends via texting and cell-phones is really damaging. It doesn't give teens a chance to disconnect and be alone with their own thoughts, they are having to have constant approval from friends.

[Perry]

I was reluctant to let my kids have phones, but now that they have them I'm happy with them. We do a lot of traveling for sports activities and they're on their own for hours at a time in unfamiliar places. It allows me to keep in touch with them regularly throughout the day, and I appreciate that they can reach me anytime if they need something.

 

We didn't allow texting at first, but my older dd desperately wanted it and eventually I caved. Her manners were okay (she didn't text at the table or while having conversations), but she just did it way too much. She was sending and receiving hundreds of texts a day. Kids were texting her in the middle of the night. (She didn't respond, but still...) It really was causing problems, and I do think her attitude suffered. She was obsessed with it. I put parental controls on her plan, and now she has strict limits.

 

 

 

. One mother just told me her daughter's grades had slipped from all A's to B's and C's. She was furious so she gave her what she thought was the ultimate punishment... she took her phone away for 2 days. What???!!

 

I don't know why this is a problem. For my dd, it IS the ultimate punishment. If there is an issue, the phone is the first thing to go, and it usually fixes the problem immediately. I say kudos to the mom for addressing the problem. Two days might be plenty long for some kids to get the picture and straighten themselves out.

[HRAAB]

My children, so far, haven't had one until they started driving. Sometimes I would give them my cell phone if they were at an event and I was at home. However, if any of their grades had dropped that much, the cell phone would be gone, and not for two days.

[MBM]

My youngest is twelve and has a pay-as-you-go cell phone which he uses to tell me if he's walking home from school. (We afterschool.) Other than that, he doesn't use it, but almost all of his classmates text and a few are on Facebook. It is a way to connect socially, but I'm not ready for ds to get hooked into that quite yet.

[ciyates]

My son has a phone but does not have texting. He is 14. We do not have a home phone and between sports and Boy Scouts he is often not with us. He uses less than 50 minutes a month calling other people. I don't see what the problem is.

[Night Elf]

My thoughts are that you are posting a very strong opinion with the intention of not really trying to understand someone else's opinion. I think you want to hear from others who agree with you and validate your position. (This happens on this board alot actually.)

 

Honestly, do my kids or I really need a cell phone? No. I went years and years without one and managed just fine. But they are cool and helpful and I see no reason why my children shouldn't have cell phones.

 

You're venting about the harrassment your kids receive because they don't have cell phones, but this kind of post is really knocking those kids who do have cell phones. So the debate goes both ways. :)

[Perry]

I am so with you on this one. I just read an article where they were saying that children's ability to speak correct grammar has completely gone to pot becasue they all text now and we all know that good grammar is not used there.

I'd really like to see how they measured this.

 

Children have had terrible grammar for years. I don't think you can blame it on cell phones. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that grammar and writing isn't taught well at school

 

 

I found this article interesting. I actually have noticed that my older dd's spelling and willingness to write has improved a great deal since she started texting and using FB chat.

[Mynyel]

My kids (17 and almost 15) have them, but don't have ANY of the issues we've heard about.

 

As for if a child went from A's to C's? NOT happening! If the cell phone with a good chunk of the reason, the cell phone would be GONE until the grades were pulled up and then we'd have some ongoing discussions to determine reasonable guidelines for cell phone usage.

 

We were getting ready for a much anticipated 3 day convention and one of the topics towards parents was that we may want to take our children's cell phones so they weren't tempted to use them during the convention. I about fell out of my chair! If I thought I needed to tell my kids how to handle their phones during convention times or go so far as to take them away, I would not have allowed them to have them in the first place! Sadly, I'm sure someone found this a timely reminder.

 

Sometimes I want to SCREAM: KIDS WANT DISCIPLINE. They appreciate gudelines and boundaries. It makes them feel LOVED and cared about. And even if they don't particularly appreciate a certain rule now, they probably will when their 25 and seeing the world much differently.

 

:iagree:

 

Ohhh you so hit it on the nail head.

 

 

All of my kids have phones. They have activities that leave them without us for hours at a time. I like the fact that they can call us if they need to. We haven't had any issues with the phones so far. My kids do well on their schoolwork, have good manners, and know their phones are a privilege - not a right.

 

I like knowing that they can get in touch with us if they need to. All their friends have phones as well. Most of my 10yo dd's friends are her gym team who are also away from their parents for hours every day, so that may be why they also have phones at their age.

 

Again :iagree:

 

I wanted to get my daughter a phone for certain times but paying for it has kept us from doing it.

 

I have a cell phone, with unlimited texting. If I could I wouldn't talk to anyone on the phone I would text them. Talking on a cell phone isn't good for you anyway...so "they" say. :glare:

 

I can say though, with some authority, that grammar is bad with texting...however I don't think it is because of texting. It isn't just phones where kids truncate their speech. It is in emails and instant messengers as well.

 

Everyone sees cell phones as the bad guy and blame it on an inanimate object. If a cell phone was not in someones hand it would just sit there. It wouldn't call anyone or text. Cell phones are bad, so I am not going to let my kid have one. It isn't the cell phone that is bad, it is behavior that can be learned, if not corrected, that is bad.

 

If you teach your kids responsibly then there should be a problem with them having a phone.

 

Now all that being said. I do think that perhaps a 10yo is a bit young. Shoot I didn't ever talk on a phone when I was that age. However in this world, not the one I lived in when I was 10, it is the norm. I wore florescent pink socks :D at 10 and that was normal, today it isn't (ok well maybe some could get away with it but you know what I mean.)

 

OTOH, you get cases like a pp that said a school let out early and the school didn't call parents, how was a child to get a hold of someone to pick them up? I guess wait in line at the school office to use a landline.

 

It is a personal preference when it comes to giving each ones child a cell phone, I however would have no problem giving my daughter one as I know she would be responsible with it (well if I could afford the extra cost). So when she is able to work and get her own paycheck, she is welcome to get a phone on my plan and pay me for her usage.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

[elegantlion]

My ds has a cell phone. We added him to our family plan. I think he was 10 maybe 11 when we did this. It was for our convenience, not his. He spent his own money and upgraded his phone when the plan allowed (we get upgrade credit). His phone is cooler than mine.

 

We don't have a home phone and right now the only people he texts are me and his dad.

 

It's just part of our family lifestyle and it works for us. If overuse becomes an issue, we'll deal with it. He already knows that texting language is taboo in school and I have no fear that Rod & Staff English will be introducing text speak into their grammar anytime soon. :tongue_smilie:

[Heather in Neverland]

I got my first cell phone at age 26. Gee, however did we manage all those years without it?

[Frontier Mom]

I'd really like to see how they measured this.

 

Children have had terrible grammar for years. I don't think you can blame it on cell phones. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that grammar and writing isn't taught well at school

 

 

I found this article interesting. I actually have noticed that my older dd's spelling and willingness to write has improved a great deal since she started texting and using FB chat.

:iagree: Woah be it that they blame the changes in the ps education policies. I remember when they used to tell us we wouldn't be able to hear anything past 30 because of the rock concerts. Now I have to hide in the bedroom to be quiet enough to read around here. :tongue_smilie:

 

Other countries like India and China use mobile technology as much or more than us and are exceeding us educationally in many respects. I just don't buy it.

 

That said, everyone but my youngest has a phone and she will get one on her birthday. We live in the 'burbs and all their friends have phones. They have unlimited texting and that is just how they communicate with each other. I'm fine with it but set certain rules like no phones at meals, etc.

 

My dh just got back from a trip and talked to the boys continuously with texting. Keeps us in touch and connected.

[Ravin]

The older of my stepsons has had a phone since he was 11 (he's 13 now). Since he lives with his dad and not with us, he uses it mostly to keep in touch with his mom--they text each other often, and talk every couple of days. As time has gone on, he has started texting more with his friends as well. He has limits--no talk/text with friends after 9PM, or anyone after bedtime, and no using the phone at school.

 

His younger brother still doesn't have a phone, mostly I think because he doesn't want or especially need one (he's 11 now). He's not as talkative as his brother, and as a "for keeping in touch when you're out on your own" issue, they're usually out places together so they've got DSS#1's phone with them.

[RamonaQ]

Six months ago I would have shared your opinion, but now that we have experienced the dreaded "child with cell phone", I have changed my mind. Honestly, for my son I see that it has provided him with independence and social connections-- both things that I have found can be challenging in a homeschooling lifestyle.

[BikeBookBread]

DH and I don't understand it, and have even been pretty judgmental about it. However, after observing the busy, yet happy and still-balanced lifestyle of my BILs family over Christmas I can understand why! They are not a HSing family (any longer); their WONDERFUL boys are very responsible with the phones that are paid for by their father's family-owned business. The oldest son is the neatest kid, but he is just a really, really busy senior in high school. He happily shuttles his little brothers around, answering their calls for "taxi" rides when Mom can't make it.

 

I recall constantly using the payphone after school (in the Jurassic pre-cell phone years); "Mom, I'm done with track practice, choir practice, etc...." I probably would be one of those dreaded cell phone kids now, considering there are NO payphones anymore!

 

It isn't necessary for our family, but I think for some families it might be a huge convenience.

Edited February 4, 2010 by BikeBookBread

[Sandy in Indy]

In our home, a cell phone is a 16th b-day gift, along with the fees for one year. After that, they chip in to help pay the bill. Neither of my older kids have spent hours talking or texting on the phone...I guess it's just understood around here that it wouldn't be acceptable.

 

Unless I had some great reason, I wouldn't allow a younger child to have a cell. Since they've been home with me, there hasn't been any reason!

[AnitaMcC]

...I feel like a dinosaur. I cannot see the need or even understand the fascination with kids having or "needing" cell phones. The kids (and parents) I encounter through our children's sports are all convinced that these things are necessities for their young children. Kids (outside our home school bubble) without cell phones are seriously ridiculed ( I have heard horrible stories!), and those children who do have phones text constantly. One mother just told me her daughter's grades had slipped from all A's to B's and C's. She was furious so she gave her what she thought was the ultimate punishment... she took her phone away for 2 days. What???!! I just don't understand it. Why do 10 year old children need to text their friends constantly? Is that even healthy? I must sound like a grandma, but I just can't "go with the flow" on this one. What are your thoughts?

 

My Ds#2 (10yr old) thinks he is the only kid in the world without a cellphone-LOL.

 

Dd (almost 15) got a cell phone when she was 12. At the time she was in public middle school and did afterschool sports. Well, in our schools there are no pay phones and kids are only allowed to use the office phone during school hours. After school hours... no phone available. Also because when Dd was at away games/meets she would need to call us on the way home to let us know when the bus was close to the school for us to pick her up. So yep, she has a cell still. She texts but not constantly. She is limited to no calling out/texting except after 7pm weekdays, and on weekends unless she is calling family or she has to get permission to make other calls or text.

 

Ds#1 (almost 15) got a cell phone just last year. He got one because he was to take college courses at CC as a 9th grader this year. Dh and I did not want him alone on campus without a cellphone. Ds rarely uses it and only carries it when he is going to CC or when Dh or I remind him to grab it when he is going out.

 

But also all our kids have asthma... Ds#1 moderate/severe. It just makes Dh and I more comfortable allowing our teens to go places without us to have a cell phone just in case of emergencies.. even though they are with a trusted adult (which is pretty much the only time they are out and about without us).

[Parrothead]

I am considering it. Dd has been left at dance, outside and in the cold and dark for 15 minutes. Apparently class let out early. I do not know how the other kids got in touch with their parents, but no one called me.

[kewb]

It is a tool like anything else. Both my kids have cell phones. They have both been taught proper cell phone etiquette. I.e. When you are with someone the text/ringing phone can wait. The text will still be there when you are done with your conversation. Blaming the cell phone for kids poor manners is a bit like blaming rock and roll for all that is wrong with society.

[kpupg]

 

I don't get the necessity, either.

 

Our kids share a cell phone ... they take it with them when they will be at activities away from home for extended periods ... so they/I can contact me/them quickly if need be. It's a convenience for ME, not so much for them.

 

We do not pay for text/data services. We had that turned off at the phone company ... for the kids' phone as well as mine and dh's. We just don't see the need for that function.

 

Phones are a functional convenience, not a legitimate social medium IMO.

 

Full disclosure: I'm a dino; I'm 50. I also hate talking on the phone for anything other than information-sharing ... in other words, I hate socializing over the phone ... you will not find me chatting over a hands-free while I prepare dinner or clean or drive or shop. :tongue_smilie:

 

Karen

[mom31257]

Ours do not have them, but are not in situations where we feel they need them. I don't know about before, but we will definitely want them to have them when they start driving, at least for emergencies.

 

I do believe there are situations when they do need them. When that comes, it will probably be prepaid by them.

[sarawatsonim]

I don't really like cell phones either. They serve a purpose I believe for emergency situations but other than that I'm not into them. I worked for a cell phone company in the mall a few years ago, it was awful. Mothers would come in furious about their $500 phone bills yelling at us because their kids were out of control texters. Instead of canceling or revoking their phone privileges they would add texting packages so they could text as much as they wanted then. It never made sense to me.

 

Some of my biggest pet peeves are about cell phones. I hate when people are out with others and are talking/texting while trying to maintain a conversation with the people they are with. I also really hate it when you are talking to someone and their text sounds goes off. You watch them and can see they are itching to pick up the phone and check it but don't because it would be rude.

My husband says that sometimes I am like an old person trapped in a 30 year olds body when I start to complain about cells and texting.:tongue_smilie: I didn't have a cell when I was 14 and I managed fine using a pay phone when needed.

[QueenCat]

Mine have them but they are teens. The eldest got his when he was 16, and starting to drive. I wanted him to be able to call me if he needed help. I got him a credit card at about the same time, which I will NEVER regret. I mostly wanted him to have it for emergencies. He flew to visit my parents once, and got stuck at his layover spot. I am so glad he had that card. Now, he has one of his own, for his expenses, which he pays off monthly. He still has mine, which he uses when I ask him to pick up something at the store or for the dentist if I don't go with him. Got the younger one a phone for his 15th birthday so he could reach us when needed. Neither one really uses it for more than basic communication with us or their friends. We don't have texting enabled on the phones due to some awful spam that was landing in our in-boxes. Neither boy really texted anyways so it was no big deal.

[Crissy]

I cannot see the need or even understand the fascination with kids having or "needing" cell phones.

 

Do you *want* to understand it? Your final comment ("I just can't 'go with the flow on this one'") indicates that you do not.

 

There absolutely are valid reasons and necessity in a lot of kids owning cell phones.

There are also a lot of kids who exhibit proper etiquette, so you likely don't even know they own a phone.

Those with poor manners are the ones who are noticed.

[Aggie]

Our girls have one cell phone they share. It's been great for our family.

 

We added texting and that is *very* handy. For example, last night dh and I were at a political meeting and dd needed some information. It was convenient to read a text and respond rather than having to leave the meeting and find a quiet place to talk.

 

Both girls have had etiquette lessons wrt calling/texting. I'm sure there are some rude texters, but I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Not *every* person calling/texting is addicted to it and rude.;) A child may be texting their parents if the parents are unavailable to speak.

[HeatherM2]

We just got my 14ds one. Right now I hold on to it and only give it to him when he's going somewhere without us (youth group activities, etc.). There is no texting plan on it so he's not allowed to text anyone.

[elegantlion]

It is a tool like anything else. Both my kids have cell phones. They have both been taught proper cell phone etiquette. I.e. When you are with someone the text/ringing phone can wait. The text will still be there when you are done with your conversation. Blaming the cell phone for kids poor manners is a bit like blaming rock and roll for all that is wrong with society.

 

:iagree: and I'm not sure age has anything to do with it. My dh is 49 and is very much into his cell phone. Of course he uses it for work, but the fancy gadget on it are just for him.

[mom2jjka]

We bought my 12 yr old DD a cell phone a few weeks ago because she got locked out of the school after band practice.

(Her group had gotten done 20 minutes early so she went outside to see if we were there)

 

It was 6:30 at night, so it was dark, - and when we got there she was frozen

(January - in Wisconsin- and she had no hat or gloves because I normally drop her off right at the door)

She was bawling because she didn't know the school doors would be locked so she couldn't get back into the school to call us. :-(

 

We got her a phone the next day.

[Joanne]

I was going to post that all my kids have cell phones, the reasons and the rules we have around them. But I'm not going to offer those specifics.

 

I do not see cell phones in general or children having them as inherently wrong; I don't see *not* having them as having a virtue.

 

Children need parents and limits in all areas of life and around toys, media, pop culture influence, etc. The issues in this thread aren't about cell phones/texting but about parenting.

[Mrs Mungo]

My eldest has a cell phone. I agree with the others-she babysits, she goes to activities that I sometimes drop her off at, she goes to activities at churches other than our own with friends, last season I frequently had to drop her off at soccer and take one of the other kids to soccer, etc.

 

Manners and appropriateness of use are different things. She's not allowed to text during school time, she's not allowed to text while holding an irl conversation, she understands these are issues of politeness.

 

As far as this goes:

I didn't have a cell when I was 14 and I managed fine using a pay phone when needed.

 

I did the same as a teen. However, it is now extremely common not to have payphones in the mall or movie theater. Even if they *do* have payphones, they often require a calling card. It's true here and I live in a very touristy place.

[Carmen_and_Company]

My youngest two received phones mainly to call my ex-dh. My dd uses her phone more so than my son, Blaze.

 

Both kids must complete their school work before using their phones, and must turn them off at 8:30 p.m. for an 1.5 hours of quiet time before bed.

 

Since I can see via the parental controls if the youngers adhere to phone rules, I've not had any issues, as any infraction loses the phone for a week.

[Barb_]

As society's expectations change, items that were once a luxury become a necessity. It used to be people got by just fine with letter writing and visits. At first there were no telephones, so people didn't expect to stay in close contact unless they lived physically close. As the telephone use became more common (and long distance cheaper), our expectations changed. We expected to do business faster. Mail order use increased. Moving out of town no longer meant losing a friend or family member. But if you weren't willing or able to spring for a phone and long distance you were left behind.

 

Computers are the same. Productivity at work and school has increased because computers allow a greater quantity of work to be done in a shorter amount of time. No one has any patience with someone who refuses to use email, word processing or the internet. Times change. There are many examples above of kids needing a cell phone because our society's expectations have changed...largely as a result of the widespread use of cell phone use. The more time a child spends away from parents, the more the child will depend on the phone. Shrug. I see no problems with a child of any age owning a cell phone. Manners are another post entirely.

 

Barb

[Cedarmom]

:iagree:

 

It's not the phones so much as the lack of manners. The constant texting, playing games, and being too preoccupied to interact with the live human beings around them.

 

If a child is to have a phone, they need to also be taught the proper use of it and the manners that go with that responsibility.

QUOTE]

 

:iagree:

 

This is it. There are some validreasons why a child may have a phone. But then they need to learn manners to accompany it. And if they can't learn the manners, then they shouldn't have the phone. My son had a phone when he started to drive. If he was rude while he was using it, I most likely would have at least temporarliy removed it.

[Night Elf]

Serious question here: Are there payphones around? The last ones I remember seeing were at the airport. I'm going to purposefully look the next time I'm out.

 

As an aside: ewww.. payphones! I always hated them. I thought about people spitting (you know, spraying spittle) onto the receiver while they were talking, or touching them when there was no telling where their hands had been. Eww.. eww.. Of course I feel the same way about library books. :tongue_smilie:

[Crissy]

Serious question here: Are there payphones around? The last ones I remember seeing were at the airport. I'm going to purposefully look the next time I'm out.

 

 

 

I think we still have pay phones in a few public places (grocery stores, library, etc.), but none exist in the places where my kids are likely to be waiting for someone to pick them up (schools after hours, baseball fields after practice, etc.).

[dirty ethel rackham]

I hear you on the inappropriate use of the phone. We have cell phones for our boys, but we have made it clear that they are for our convenience, not theirs (as in arranging rides and calling for help.) We don't have a texting plan so they would have to pay for texts. Most of their friends don't have cell phones, so it's not part of their peer culture. We actually have to remind the boys to take the phones when they leave the house.

 

I do agree that so many parents are clueless. We know lots of people who give their kids cell phones, but it seems that the "have to have it" mentality seems to only be with our school friends.