Homeschool "impostors"

[Jenny in GA]

I had a conversation a couple years ago that I suddenly remembered and thought would be interesting to discuss here:

 

It was with a distant in-law I had just met, who had homeschooled for years, and whose kids were grown.

 

She had taken her kids out of school back when homeschooling wasn't as popular as it is now, and she was talking about how she started the first homeschool support group in her town, etc.

 

She said, "It was interesting, though ... as I began to meet with other homeschooling families, it became clear there were two different groups: the Real Homeschoolers, and the Impostors."

 

She said that the Impostors weren't really homeschooling: they said they were, and they went to homeschool park days and filled out paperwork saying they were homeschooling, but they weren't really doing the work. It was just an excuse to allow their kids to be truant.

 

I asked her if it was possible it didn't seem like they were homeschooling, since one can't be observing a family 24-7. She insisted that it was very clear to many people that these "impostors" weren't truly homeschooling, but were just "skipping school with the family's blessing" and calling themselves homeschoolers.

 

Anyway, I suddenly thought of this today and thought it was an interesting comment.

 

Has anyone ever heard of this before?

Have you ever suspected somebody was a "homeschooling impostor"?

Do you think she meant unschoolers, and they just seemed like impostors to her?

Whether you've met them or not, do you think there are people who "pretend" to homeschool just to be truant?

Do you think that other people (non-homeschoolers) suspect than many homeschoolers are really just truant?

 

 

Have fun! ;)

 

Jenny

http://beanmommyandthethreebeans.blogspot.com/

[tricia]

Impostor seems like such a harsh word. :):)

 

But to answer your questions. I've never met anyone who says they are homeschooling and really aren't. I suppose tho if I were to meet someone like that I would just be like, whatever, it's their choice, their life, their kids. I definitely don't want to be known as the "homeschool" police. I know I don't have any perfect standards in my life in which to measure them by.

[Julie in Austin]

I am familiar with a family who allowed their children to drop out and later claimed they had "homeschooled," despite the fact that the parents had done nothing of any academic sort with the children--not even the kind of child-led thing that could be described as unschooling. (The children mostly played video games and watched movies.) "Homeschooling" was a nice label so they didn't have to be embarrassed by or guilty about what their children were(n't) doing--much more pleasant to say "homeschooled" than "dropped out."

 

So it happens. As to how prevalent it is, I have no idea.

[SeekingSimplicity]

While I'm sure there are people out there abusing the system, for whatever reason... my first thought was maybe they are unschoolers.

[lotsofpumpkins]

Yes, there are definitely imposters out there. A lady we know worked with the school system and had to test new students to place them in the correct grade. Sometimes there were new students who had been "homeschooled" but were VERY behind and had not been taught anything. (Unfortunately, these were usually abuse/neglect type cases though).

[Pink Fairy]

I knew a woman about 15-20 years ago who took her children out of school but didn't do any homeschooling. At all. She didn't want her children exposed to the public schools, but I never really got her point because she used drugs and they lived in a serious of hotels with a man who wasn't the kids' dad. I was very young myself and didn't realize the seriousness of their situation, but looking back I remember that thankfully the kids eventually ended up living with their uncle (who was a good friend of ours) and went back into ps.

[PinkInTheBlue]

Honestly, I have never met those people. Everyone I've ever met in the homeschool world are doing the best they can. I've never met That Family that supposedly gives homeschool a bad name. I've also never met a diehard unschooler. I've met child-led schoolers that are still certain that the school gets done but never one who just lets the kids run free with the belief that they'll learn when they are ready.

[LauraGB]

Dh has a friend who was "homeschooled" that way. His mom was sick of trying to get him up for school every day, so she pulled him out and he spent his entire senior year not cracking even one book. He didn't even show up for the GED tests, so he technically never even graduated.

[Plucky]

I don't know any impostors. All the homeschool families I know care very much for their kids and want the best for them. They might use different methods, curriculum, or styles, but they are trying to do their best for their kids.

[tex-mex]

My only thought is if we start to judge in this area... who becomes the HS police? Slippery slope to monitor and regulate HSing. NEA and schools would love to allow this to happen.

 

Personally, I have never seen anyone be an imposter... as a schoolteacher, I would get HSers enroll in my class. I would say 10% of them had legitimate issues with Learning Disability but NEVER saw any of them academically behind. (Trust me, I taught in inner city public schools and saw so many students being passed on to the next grade -- before NCLB -- and were not able to read or write. Scary.)

[jenL]

I wonder if she was referring to unschoolers? To an outsider, unfamiliar with homeschooling methods, it could appear that these familes are doing nothing because they aren't schooling in ways that "look like school" (meaning they don't necessarily use curriculum and schedule school time as say a classical homeschooler would). This doesn't mean the kids aren't learning though.

 

I don't believe I've met any "imposters". Every one I know homeschools, and each family does it in their own way. I know unschooling families whose kids are clearly learning. For them, every day is an adventure, and there is always something new to learn and explore. Personally, I can't wrap my brain around it (maybe the former teacher in me?), and my children thrive with structure. But for many families, this is a viable option.

 

Interesting question...

[Plucky]

Honestly, I have never met those people. Everyone I've ever met in the homeschool world are doing the best they can. I've never met That Family that supposedly gives homeschool a bad name. I've also never met a diehard unschooler. I've met child-led schoolers that are still certain that the school gets done but never one who just lets the kids run free with the belief that they'll learn when they are ready.

 

I've never met someone like that either. I do know an unschool family and this year their son skipped a grade when he enrolled in public school.

[angela in ohio]

I have known several families who seemed to truly be homeschooling so that they wouldn't ahve to get their kids up, dressed, fed, and off to school. Most of them ended up putting the dc in school eventually. I've also known those who claim to be homeschooling, but really use the dc as babysitters.

 

I've known quite a few unschoolers. Usually the 'Imposters' wrap themselves in the flag of unschooling, which makes real unschoolers shudder as much as someone saying they "unschool math" or such. ;)

[Renee in NC]

How about my midwife who delivered baby #4? She didn't go to school as a child. She wasn't homeschooled. She says she wasn't even unschooled (because no one was strewing and no one was assisting with passions.) She lived in a bus with her brothers and sisters on top of a mountain.

 

She finally went to school in the 9th grade. Graduated. Went to college and got her BS and her MSN. She became a CNM. Now she teaches medical students how to deliver babies!

 

It didn't seem to matter to her life much!

[Corraleno]

Yes, I do know a family who registered with the state as homeschoolers, but just let their child play video games 12-14 hours/day. Eventually they decided to put him in PS, where he's bored, angry, and acting out. It's a shame because he's an extremely bright kid, just totally bored by "school work" ~ IOW, a perfect candidate for real "unschooling." If they'd actually made an effort to give him access to lots of books, show him how to search the net, give him the tools to build things (and severely restrict gaming/TV time) he could have really flourished. They just couldn't be bothered. :(

 

Jackie

[kalanamak]

 

Has anyone ever heard of this before?

Have you ever suspected somebody was a "homeschooling impostor"?

 

 

I knew someone way back when whose mentally ill (I think, she though, too) mother kept her kids home so she wouldn't be alone. No schooling.

 

I know someone who keeps talking about doing this, so she won't have to wash and dress the kids. These kids are not clean, and CPS has a frequent flyer card on them. To her, they are "clean enough", she is just tired of the visits and paperwork. She is on a psych disability.

[Harriet Vane]

While I have met those who school differently than I do, all the homeschooling families I have ever met are people who ARE schooling. Some more than others. I have found, though, that even more relaxed homeschoolers tend to ramp it up as the kids get older.

 

There was ONE family I knew that really, truly were not homeschooling. I was in despair over them, and knowing them fueled some angry discussion on my part about Imposters (I didn't call them that but the term fits what I thought at that time).

 

As it turns out, the mother in that family had a brain tumor. There were years before her diagnosis that she struggled to cope with daily life. She was truly not aware of how much time was passing or how little she was accomplishing because she was having such overwhelming difficulty processing any stimuli due to the brain tumor. That situation is so very, very unique (and heartbreaking) that it just does not make sense to say that because I knew this one struggling family, that there are a whole population of "imposters." In the years both before or since I have not met any other homeschoolers who were not schooling (though I have met many who school differently than I do--it's absolutely not my place to judge their efforts).

[Haiku]

Well I don't have the answers to your original questions, but there is a family in our community who say they homeschool, and who attend homeschool events and classes, and who participate in homeschool discussion boards, but whose child goes to school.

 

They don't say they afterschool. They say they homeschool, and they attempt to conceal the fact that their child is, in fact, in school.

 

This is the same family who insisted that their child had a serious, long-lasting illness that kept said child bedridden when, in fact, said child was seen frequently at activities around town.

 

That's what I thought of when I read "homeschool imposters."

 

Tara

[Terabith]

I have a friend whose parents were homeschool imposters.

 

When she was about 13, her dad pulled her out of school to "homeschool" her. Parents were divorced, mom wasn't in the picture.

 

Dad owned a 7-11, but didn't like working there. What he wanted to do was stay home and drink beer. So, he pulled my friend out of school and had her be the cashier at the 7-11. (In some ways this is good educational experience, but I don't think she was even the manager. She just described sitting at the counter and ringing people up. She might have filled out ordering stuff, too, but I'm not sure.) She begged to go to school, but he said he no. She read on her own, and when she got to be 17 or 18 she decided she wanted to get a GED and go to community college, which she did successfully. But it was a HUGE effort.

 

I am really torn, because on the one hand I really don't want government intrusion, but on the other hand I do worry about kids like my friend. I don't think that is at all common, but I do wish someone had checked on her. She was in a bad situation anyway (abuse and neglect). I'm not sure what that would look like, however.

[Dobela]

Yes, I have met impostors. I taught in public school for several years and there were several families who only took the kids out of school due to laziness. One girl came back in the 5th grade, had never been taught to read, could write, and so on. She was finally placed in special ed because she was too large to be put in K where her skills were but she was in no way prepared for 5th grade. It was tragic. That is part of the reason ps hate homeschoolers. The imposters give the rest of us a bad name. They are also the reason why schools and others want more regulations to be placed on homeschoolers.

[StartingOver]

Has anyone ever heard of this before? YES

Have you ever suspected somebody was a "homeschooling impostor"? YES

Do you think she meant unschoolers, and they just seemed like impostors to her? Could be, could not ?

Whether you've met them or not, do you think there are people who "pretend" to homeschool just to be truant? YES

Do you think that other people (non-homeschoolers) suspect than many homeschoolers are really just truant? YES

 

I have known a couple of familes who were not homeschooling but claimed to be. They never taught the children anything. I know many unschoolers, and even though I could never be an unschooler, I respect most of them.

 

I do agree, that it isn't our place..... to judge.

 

Example: My father quit school very young ( elementary school ) to work to help support his mother. He went on to join the Navy, was a State House Representitive for 12 years, owned his own printing company for many years, works on the docks, worked on the Alaska pipeline.

 

He is self educated, and one of the smartest people I know.

 

I think children learn........ even without parental assistance !

[Haiku]

How about my midwife who delivered baby #4? She didn't go to school as a child. She wasn't homeschooled. She says she wasn't even unschooled (because no one was strewing and no one was assisting with passions.) She lived in a bus with her brothers and sisters on top of a mountain.

 

 

I either knew this person when she was a child or the family I knew was very similar to the one you describe.

 

I certainly think it's possible to not be schooled/unschooled and still succeed in life. I do think it takes a certain go-getter personality type that not everyone possesses.

 

Tara

[Jenny in Atl]

Why would they want to in the first place? :confused:

[Miss Marple]

Yes, I believe there are homeschool "imposters" and I've known a few. The suspicion that they are "imposters" is more easily confirmed at the end of the so called "homeschooling" when these kids are unable to compete in any higher educational system without major remediation and have difficulty holding a job.

 

I realize there are many reasons one might not be able to hold a job or why one might need remediation that don't have any connection to being an "imposter" homeschooler, but the few that I *do* know have issues that relate directly to the "non-education" that occurred in the home. It is also more recognizable when all the kids in a family follow the same remediation path - rather than having one student who might have a learning disability.

 

It's sad, but I'm sure there are parents in the public school system who have as little regard for education as these homeschool "imposters" and whose kids turn out similarly.

[lionfamily1999]

Has anyone ever heard of this before?

Yes. Parents take difficult kids out of school and let them lay around watching tv or playing video games. I knew a couple when I was in school, and I know a few now.

Have you ever suspected somebody was a "homeschooling impostor"?

No :p If they were it was obvious, they don't even try that hard, ime, to cover it.

Do you think she meant unschoolers, and they just seemed like impostors to her?

Maybe...

Whether you've met them or not, do you think there are people who "pretend" to homeschool just to be truant?

Yes

Do you think that other people (non-homeschoolers) suspect than many homeschoolers are really just truant?

I think that's some people's idea of what homeschooling is. Ime, those "imposters" tend to believe all homeschoolers are like them. The people I've met that have raised their eyebrows about what ds was doing in class have mostly been those parents. None hsers at least assume I'm indoctrinating him in some subject, they give me that much credit :p But the "imposters" ime, really believe all hsers are like them.:001_huh:

[Tidbits of Learning]

The term imposter is so laden with implications. The family that got me interested in home schooling is a family that I believe someone should have stepped in for the children. Their son has Aspergers, but a whole lot of other issues as well. They pulled him in 2nd grade and that 1st year homeschooling did SOS 3rd grade with him. This was the year I became interested in home school.

He was not a willing student and truthfully their temperment was not akin to deal with his diagnosis. Last year, with 5 weeks left of school they pulled their kindergarten dd. I felt so sorry for the kids this year b/c under the guise of unschooling they did nothing.

The Mom napped and the kids ran the neighborhood. It was very sad. She woke up one day and couldn't find the little girl and was screaming up and down our street the 5 year old's name. The boy and girl had went into a neighbor's house down the road. The things that could have happened just blow my mind. That was the first time she lost the kids. It happened a lot this year just from the summer to October.

They lied on paperwork to get disability for the little boy. They lied on paperwork to get food stamps. I had known the couple and children for 5 years and within 1 year lost all respect for them. They moved to a state that has no homeschool regulations at all in October. One night she got upset with the boy and locked him out on the porch for hours. Her DH was military and worked the 3-12 shift. Now I just wonder should I have called someone about the situation.

I have not met any real unschoolers, but I am pretty sure that these kids were suddenly being neglected by being out of school. Would I have called them truant? Yes.

[kalanamak]

But the "imposters" ime, really believe all hsers are like them.:001_huh:

 

A common human trait. Insulters take benign comments as insults. Liars accuse others of lying. Cheaters of cheating. I hear a country and western song coming on....

[Mom In Missouri]

Has anyone ever heard of this before?

 

Yes. And I've personally witnessed the 'imposters' on several different levels and from 3 different perspectives.

 

Have you ever suspected somebody was a "homeschooling impostor"?

 

Yes.

 

Do you think she meant unschoolers, and they just seemed like impostors to her?

 

For the most part, home educating/home schooling families will have their own preferences towards how to 'do school.' However, unschooling families will value an education in whatever method that may be very different. Imposter families often don't adhere to the laws in their own state and use the 'home education/home school' umbrella as a means to avoid prosecution.

 

Whether you've met them or not, do you think there are people who "pretend" to homeschool just to be truant?

 

Yes. Seen it all too often and it is real.

 

Do you think that other people (non-homeschoolers) suspect than many homeschoolers are really just truant?

 

Absolutely. It only takes one bad experience to remember a restaurant...keep in mind that when those that are imposters in home education will use it as an 'excuse'...example: "Oh, it's alright. We homeschool." The impression left by those that use it as a method to avoid prosecution of truancy leave the rest of us an uphill stereotype to overcome.

 

For clarification: I worked in the administration of our local district in a 'bean counter' capacity---I collected the statistical data for our district to report to the state. Once that became more than boring (after 3 years) I moved from that office to one of our 18 elementary schools. Parents withdrawing their children to home school happened a lot, and while I'd say 75% of them were actually educating them...the problem was the 25% that would either hand their child a coloring page (at age 11) or that the child read the cereal box and decided that was an education. This promoted the local district to harrass and malign the familes that were actually providing an education.

 

Before anyone jumps on the fact that reading the back of a cereal box or doing a coloring page once a week is an education...be aware that these children were neglected in every other area of their parent/child relationship. Poor health neglected--tooth decay to the gums, poor personal cleanliness on child, but not parent, infected and infested open sores, lack of food, no supervision. These were the extreme cases, but it left the administration that EVERY home educating family must be 'supervised' which is a problem that we're still battling nearly 9 years after I resigned my position.

 

Since I was involved in setting up the program that worked with our local district and the county prosecutors office (the point was to keep kids in school and off the streets, drugs, etc), I sat in the court room when the facts came to light. Out of all of the cases brought forward to appear in front of a judge (maybe 25 in a semester) there were 3 families that had their records in order and could explain and provide examples of their work. Each time, the judge excused the case and chastised the prosecuting office for not finding the facts before hand and over-reaching the issue on their behalf. However, the other 22 cases were nothing less than imposters of home education...and the school administration were confirmed in their unfounded suspicisions--and now it's gone awry. After 6 weeks of the judge using his authority to offer guidance, examples, and information to the parents with ZERO impact or change, the judge would recommend Social Service intervention and ultimately the child(ren) would return to public school.

 

As a home educating family now, I see it all too often. It's not unschooling (which my hat is off to these folks, it just makes my head hurt to even consider trying) but its those that label breathing in and out science and eating Fritos a health class...that's not unschooling. That's deception.

 

More than you asked for but it's my $.02

[kalanamak]

The term imposter is so laden with implications.

The Mom napped and the kids ran the neighborhood. It was very sad.

 

The term here might have been "a drunk", to quote an old AA adage: An alcoholic is a drunk you love.

[Denise in Florida]

My only thought is if we start to judge in this area... who becomes the HS police? Slippery slope to monitor and regulate HSing. NEA and schools would love to allow this to happen.

 

 

 

:iagree: People homeschool in all different ways. The 'imposters' might be unschoolers or they might not. I would not want to start the 'slippery slope'.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I did know one woman who came close to falling into this category. I think that she really wanted to be homeschooling but was frozen into helplessness by wanting to not make any mistakes. It seemed that what she ended up doing was very little. For example, she mentioned her faith denomination and that she wanted to make sure that its distinctives were taken into account. Great. But this meant that she didn't want to consider anything that wasn't written specifically from the POV of that denomination (and it wasn't one that was known for producing much curriculum).

 

This was someone that I saw and talked to a couple times a week at sports. She just always gave the impression of barely treading water and not getting around to doing things that would progress her son along. At one point she brought in the curriculum that she was trying to use and it was very old book intensive, heavy on written narration. I thought that it was a very idealistic program (as in probably too idealistic for a real family with a struggling reader student and an overwhelmed mother teacher). I think that she did finally drop this in favor of something that was more planned out for her.

 

I honestly suspect that there may have been some issues of health or depression that I didn't know about that were also weighing into the situation. She was very nice and her son was sweet. It made me want to sit down and plan her a whole school year just so she'd have something to work with.

 

I don't think that this family was using homeschooling as a cover for intentional tuancy. I do think that they were shying away from a cruddy school system and trusting in the idea that homeschooling at any level was better than a public school. I'm not sure that this was proving to be a reliable viewpoint for them.

 

I have also encountered an unschool family that makes me scratch my head sometimes and more than a few families in support groups that seem to have so much time for group activities that I wonder when they do anything else. But again, I don't think they are covering for truancy in the sense of lets stay home and watch Oprah or have this older kid as a free babysitter/housekeeper. I don't think homeschooling as cover for truancy is that common. I do think that some families put too much confidence in the idea that anything they label homeschooling is manifestly better than any public school experience that would be the alternative.

[Peek a Boo]

Yes, I believe there are homeschool "imposters" and I've known a few. The suspicion that they are "imposters" is more easily confirmed at the end of the so called "homeschooling" when these kids are unable to compete in any higher educational system without major remediation and have difficulty holding a job.

 

I realize there are many reasons one might not be able to hold a job or why one might need remediation that don't have any connection to being an "imposter" homeschooler, but the few that I *do* know have issues that relate directly to the "non-education" that occurred in the home. It is also more recognizable when all the kids in a family follow the same remediation path - rather than having one student who might have a learning disability.

 

It's sad, but I'm sure there are parents in the public school system who have as little regard for education as these homeschool "imposters" and whose kids turn out similarly.

 

yes, our public system is --imnsho-- even more culpable on the "imposter" scale than lazy non-schoolers.

 

The public school has little excuse: they have the kids for 8 hours a day, surrounded by a plethora of certified professionals. Those professionals still allow kids to "graduate" and proceed to the nearest detention facility or welfare couch. and we're to believe that "some" regulation will so much as HELP non-schooler "homeschoolers"??? really?

 

as for the OP, I'm sure there are non-schoolers out there, but just when i think I've accurately pegged a family as a non-schooler, i find out they have an older kid at a major university or making a buttload of money at a great job. i'll just keep my eyes peeled for ways i CAN help, and pay attention to the fruits of their schooling.

[Peek a Boo]

... its those that label breathing in and out science and eating Fritos a health class...that's not unschooling. That's deception.

 

:iagree:

[LaMere Academy]

Well I'm more on the relaxed side and even I meet people who I just have doubts about...whether or not they really do much or require much of their children. I've been hs'ing for 10 years and I've only had these thoughts as I'm coming in contact with other homeschooled teens. There are some that seem like they don't do anything, but of course we can't know.

[hillfarm]

Although our state laws for homeschoolers are not all that restrictive, I was surprised to have met some families who are very...covert...about their homeschooling. However, in those families, the children's education is not the only area in which they try to fly under the government radar.

 

Are they true homeschoolers? I don't know, maybe. But I do know that one of the healthiest and most helpful things I can think of to recommend to new homeschooling moms is to find some mentors or a support group, official or unofficial. And I know these families in question do not do that. Because they don't want to leave any tracks of their activities, they don't even order curriculum through the mail because of the paper trail.

 

I only found out about this by accident and in a very low key, subtle way when I had some old curriculum materials that I was giving away. A friend of a friend asked to meet with me in the library parking lot, and she very secretively told me about her schooling. They don't use the library either, because they don't want a record kept of what books they are reading.

 

Through her, I met a few other families with similar beliefs and have tried to help them as best as I can without "outting" them in any way.

 

I guess these people would be counter-impostors. They are not trying to appear as homeschoolers, they are trying to be invisible. Are they truant? In the eyes of the law, definitely. Are they homeschooling? I think so, but in a very different way than I am.

[Ruthie]

Once, on our county hsing yahoo group, there was a parent who had a kid who was supposed to be in 11th grade.

 

The kid was failing ps, the parents pulled him out in 9th. They joined a cyber virtual school. The son refused to do work and was failing virtual cyber also. The kid played video games all day and the parent could not make him obey.

 

The parent posted cause he wanted to know how to declare hsing and wanted to just "graduate" his kid as a hser. Last I heard, there were actually people who were attempting to help him. People like that give hsing a bad name.

 

So, yes, there are people who are imposters.

[samba2nite]

Well I never had a name for it but now that one is on the table so to speak it does fit... My highschool dropout rather spend his time getting stoned and growing green plants in his home half brother (hummmmm can you tell I don't talk to this brother anymore????) and his wife (who he hooked up with when she was only 15 (yowza--TV talk show material here))...well they had one child that they "homeschooled"... now this is the boy who never went to school, never sat down with his parents to learn anything except how to fetch a beer... I was horrified for this little guy. Last time I saw him was five years ago and at 13 he was illiterate. His parents were too lazy to teach him anything. They just did not want to deal with the responsibilty of getting him to school. There were NO books in their home...just TV and video games...He had no friends and was socially off. My sister who is closer in age to my brother finally stepped in since I was too far removed physically and emotionally, and offered to teach our nephew to read...bless his heart he was so excited to have his own books and the prospect of reading them.

 

My brother and his wife would be what I would now call imposters

 

samba

[Cera]

There is one family that comes to mind. I am pretty laid back, bordering on unschooling for certain subjects and their approach just struck me as laziness. There was very little, if any, parental assistance with their education.

 

Schooling wasn't the only area of neglect though. Their general parenting approach was completely hands off. As it was explained to me, they didn't want to impinge on the kids freedom because each was his own person.

[Amber in AUS]

I guess i know a family that might fit the impostor category but in reality they are extreme unschoolists. They have never actively taught their children anything. Their oldest has just started her first formal schooling at 16 completing a women's studies course at TAFE which i guess would be like community college. She didn't read until age 11, and didn't really ever do anything with math, but mother says she knows enough to get by. This lady has 3 younger children and has no plans on doing anything more formal with them either. The daughter would like to do something 'arty' since this is her main interest, music and fine art. In reality i wonder if she might have other choices if she were educated enough to know about them???

[fivetails]

There are *many* different beliefs/philosophies/whatever about education in general, and homeschooling specifically ~ who am I to say whether that which another family has chosen is wrong?

 

I have friends who are 8-4, textbooks, scheduled breaks only, uniforms & desks homeschoolers.

 

I have friends who are these are the plans for today, we're finished when we've reached the end of the list - might be noon, might be 4pm homeschoolers.

 

I have friends who are this is what we'd like to do today, but flexibility is important so it may change homeschoolers.

 

I have friends who are prompting/suggesting/strewing why don't you try some of X today homeschoolers.

 

I have friends who are let the child lead completely homeschoolers.

 

[among others///combinations///etc]

 

What are we? Well, we're mostly a mix of the first three.....

 

These are the plans for the day, let's try to get everything done by 3pm ~ but if that snow comes down, we're going sledding for PE. :D

 

Anyway. What I'm trying to say here is that home education looks different to *every* family.

 

That "imposter" family that you know? Have you lived in their home, following their lives from day to day? Yes, that's far fetched. Try this then: Have you ever spoken heart to heart with the mom, talking about what you each believe is the most important aspect of home education? If you've not done these sorts of things , then how could you ever know - truly know - what it's all about in their home?

 

 

 

Yes, I acknowledge that there are, occasionally, clear-cut cases of child neglect. In these [uncommon] cases, the neglect is generally all across the board - the child is not cared for properly *at all*. I'm not talking about obvious situations of neglect/abuse.

 

I'm talking about home education that appears to be the polar opposite of what it looks like in your home. Different doesn't automatically equal 'wrong'...or 'imposter'.

 

Just my handful of pennies. Now where's my coffee....

Edited January 4, 2010 by fivetails
typing sans coffee

[jenn-]

My stepFIL was very leary of our decision to homeschool at the beginning. He was the Director of Child Labor for the state and the only "homeschoolers" he had experience with were "imposters". These are the children that were in school just long enough to learn the basics and then were pulled to work in the family business, whatever that may be. We have since won him over.

[Rosy]

Yes, I knew an imposter family. It was a mom who was divorcing her husband (who was a friend of mine and DH's) and couldn't be bothered to make her kids go to school. The oldest son was playing computer games 14-16 hrs. a day, the daughter was raising the 4 year old, I don't know what the 8 year old did all day. Eventually the dad was able to take custody of all 4 kids and put them in school. They were way behind but caught up fairly quickly, IIRC.

 

I don't think acknowledging the existence of such families is a "slippery slope", nor is it judgmental...there truly are parents that have no intention of doing right by their kids, or would like to but can't/don't know how. I don't think gov't intrusion is the answer, necessarily--I think neglectful parents often know how to avoid getting caught. But neither is there any reason for homeschoolers to put their heads in the sand or dismiss it with a "they're probably unschooling."

[teachermom2834]

I hear stories about bad situations where homeschooling is an excuse to be truant. My neighbor is a junvenile probabation officer and does not have a good impression of homeschooling! He has many of these stories.

 

I do believe these situations exist but I'd bet a lot of money these are not the parents going to homeschool park days and activities. If you keep your kids home so you don't have to get them to school do you really care about getting them to a park day or homeschool activities?

 

I have met families who seem to do very little at homeschool events. Many of these moms seem like they really want to homeschool and seem in love with the idea but can't get it going for whatever reason. Sometimes it is because they are overwhelmed or unorganized or have a bunch of littles. I wouldn't call those people imposters but I would think they might need some help.

 

I have run across the families where the kids go to school but they want to do homeschool activities. I have been a member of a couple groups and each had to make a determination if school kids were welcome (we are not talking about a family where some kids are homeschooled- just when there were no homeschoolers in a family). Those "imposters" seem to like the activities/ kids/ idea of homeschooling but don't really want to commit or get down to the nitty gritty. Sure I'd love to take advantage of great homeschool activities and get my days free :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

Yes, I knew of an imposter family. The boy (15) was suspended from school. They decided to withdraw him to homeschool him while he explored his dream of being a rap star (he may have succeeded - I don't know who is out there!) But the house had NO books in it. Not even magazines. The boy barely knew how to read and did not have the skills to teach himself. I was able to teach him some - when he showed up for our tutoring sessions. I traveled to his home so it was not a hardship for him to show up. When I went for two months sitting on the front steps with no student, I gave up. They never did give him any educational help. So basically he was a drop out - just a bit earlier than was legal. But according to the state, he would have been counted as a homeschooler.

[Brilliant]

I know one. They didn't want their kids in the PS, but the mom has way too many hobbies of her own to bother with homeschooling. When asked how homeschooling is going, she frankly says, "They're on their own." The father seems to care more, and works with the kids in the evenings sometimes.

[G5052]

Legally, children are supposed to be in a classroom or being homeschooled by a parent or tutor at home. If they are not in a classroom and not being homeschooled by according to the state's standards, the law says that they may be truant depending on how it's worded.

 

What homeschooling means varies from state-to-state, but where I live and the way I file annually, that means that I must cover the 3 R's and show academic progress at the end of the year using a test or other evaluation. If I fail to do that, I'm placed on probation and then if I fail there, I must enroll them in a public or private classroom situation or be considered truant. Reasonable expectations IMHO, and we go far behind that.

 

There is another way of filing where you make a one-time religious objection to public, private, and more restrictive homeschooling overseen by the county, and never contact the county again. And the abuses I've seen there scare me when I consider the future of these children, but they are completely within the law and not technically truant. You can have your teenager spend his days hanging around the local airfield, put your preteen to work five days a week in your business, or just let them play all day and do no academics under that part of the law.

 

Sad...:confused:

[WiseOwlKnits]

My BIL's ex-GF was one of these. It was too much trouble to get out of bed in the morning to get her son to school so she let him skip. A lot. She was told by a judge that she would go to jail the next time he missed school per TX law. So she withdrew him to "homeschool" him. She would come right out and tell MIL and the family that she wasn't doing any schoolwork with him and that she'd only pulled him so that she wouldn't get in trouble. She put him back in PS this year until he gets in trouble for absences..and then she plans to "homeschool" him again.

 

Needless to say, my ILs were concerned when I said I was going to hs DD. I'm happy to say that they fully support real homeschoolers now. :D

[5KidzRUs]

While I'm sure there are people out there abusing the system, for whatever reason... my first thought was maybe they are unschoolers.

 

 

:iagree:

[TravelingChris]

First of all, I haven't met any and I have homeschooled in 6 states and one other country. I have met unschoolers or very relaxed homeschoolers and their kids were doing great- one entered high school and was accepted into the highly selective IB program, another entered the AF Academy, others were younger but were all bright kids with bright parents who actually encouraged learning. But although I have been homeschooling for 15 or 16years, I think the reason I haven't met these imposters is that they usually fall into two types of categories and neither of these go to homeschool park days or meetings. The first category is families with problems- be it drugs, mental health issues, alcohol, criminal behavior, etc. I don't have contact with those type of people normally so I haven't encountered those who do claim they homeschool. The other category is dropout teens or almost dropputs. I think there will be more and more of these as the dropout age rises. I met someone once whose son had dropped out and she was asking could she homeschool him or how to get a GED. I advised her but if she tires and he doesn't respond, is she an imposter? I don't think so. The teen problem should be ignored by the officials, IMO, since I think dropout ages should be no higher than 16. The first category, often needs social service or criminal justice system intervention but for much more pressing reasons than poor homeschooling.

[Impish]

I hear stories about bad situations where homeschooling is an excuse to be truant. My neighbor is a junvenile probabation officer and does not have a good impression of homeschooling! He has many of these stories.

 

I do believe these situations exist but I'd bet a lot of money these are not the parents going to homeschool park days and activities. If you keep your kids home so you don't have to get them to school do you really care about getting them to a park day or homeschool activities?

 

I have met families who seem to do very little at homeschool events. Many of these moms seem like they really want to homeschool and seem in love with the idea but can't get it going for whatever reason. Sometimes it is because they are overwhelmed or unorganized or have a bunch of littles. I wouldn't call those people imposters but I would think they might need some help.

 

I have run across the families where the kids go to school but they want to do homeschool activities. I have been a member of a couple groups and each had to make a determination if school kids were welcome (we are not talking about a family where some kids are homeschooled- just when there were no homeschoolers in a family). Those "imposters" seem to like the activities/ kids/ idea of homeschooling but don't really want to commit or get down to the nitty gritty. Sure I'd love to take advantage of great homeschool activities and get my days free :)

I find the idea that not participating in activities to be offensive. I can't get my dd to activities, since I'm disabled and don't drive. Unless Wolf is home, or SpecialMama is willing, there's no way to get Diva to and from activities. And there's no way that I'm an impostor, or neglecting her education in the slightest. Very broad brush you've painted with.