What would you say to those who.....

[mommy25]

think/say that children who are homeschooled most of their life need to, at some point, experience the public school system.

 

-That they somehow will be in shock when they go to college or when they are on their own if they don't experience "culture" and what it is really like to function with society.

 

-That these kids need to have exposure to kids that are messed up.

 

-That they need to see the structure/discipline/routine that the school system provides.

 

 

I would like to hear your thoughts......

[Mrs Mungo]

think/say that children who are homeschooled most of their life need to, at some point, experience the public school system.

 

-That they somehow will be in shock when they go to college or when they are on their own if they don't experience "culture" and what it is really like to function with society.

 

-That these kids need to have exposure to kids that are messed up.

 

-That they need to see the structure/discipline/routine that the school system provides.

 

 

I would like to hear your thoughts......

 

You could argue that everyone should experience the military or jail for the same reasons. It just doesn't wash.

[eight_gregorys]

I would say, "Shut up, moron!"

 

J/K...That's what I'd want to say.

 

I think a lot of people that have this opinion won't be swayed by words. You could try to explain that homeschooled children aren't sheltered and that they have tons of interaction with many other children. I think that the problem is that most people who have this opinion have only been exposed homeschoolers in a negative way....like by watching the news. It's not very often you hear good things about homeschoolers on the news. In my experience, people who know me and my children, whether pro-homeschool or not, have good opinions of homeschooling by knowing us. So maybe the good is just be a good example.

 

think/say that children who are homeschooled most of their life need to, at some point, experience the public school system.

 

-That they somehow will be in shock when they go to college or when they are on their own if they don't experience "culture" and what it is really like to function with society.

 

-That these kids need to have exposure to kids that are messed up.

 

-That they need to see the structure/discipline/routine that the school system provides.

 

 

I would like to hear your thoughts......

[Bee]

What about children who go to private school? Should their parents send them to ps just for the experience?

 

My children are out almost every day of the week experiencing the real world. Public school is hardly what I would call the real world. It's such an artificial environment. What other time in their life are they age segregated?

 

My children are exposed to kids that are "messed up". Not every family they know is as stable as I'd hope families can be. I don't keep my children locked in a closet you know.

 

And just how much discipline and structure do you remember from when you were in school? I remember an awful lot of students cheating, copying homework, and generally trying to do the minimum amount of work to get by.

 

That's what I'd say. Now if my children want to try the experience of school I'd permit it but I won't guarantee it will be ps.

[SeekingSimplicity]

I don't remember public school being particularly like college. Quite different actually. And in ps, it seemed things were very directed by teachers-- the adults were responsible for everything not me, then when I got to college it was just me. I was responsible for everything.

 

Homeschooling has it's own rhythm and structure. My kids meet people all the time that are different than us. Behave differently, have different belief systems, different sub-cultures. I'm not sure where people think the problem is, other than that they've not really thought about in this light before.

[jujsky]

You could argue that everyone should experience the military or jail for the same reasons. It just doesn't wash.

 

Love it!!!!!!!!:lol:

[Slartibartfast]

I would say, "obviously you didn't go to college."

 

It is completely different from public school. One of the most popular girls from my school was in one of my college classes, when she talked people rolled their eyes and banged their heads on the table because she was such an idiot. So really, I don't see people who did attend public schools adjusting any easier.

[Plucky]

I think kids should experience other adults as leaders or teachers at some point to prepare for the future, think middle school or high school. There are so many ways to get this from co-ops, outside classes, scouts, etc. I don't think public school is necessary. I am using the ps system part-time right now with my high schooler. It was not a shock to his system by any means since he was used to other adults as teachers already.

[Margo out of lurking]

I would like to hear your thoughts......

 

I would pass the bean dip, by graciously responding that I don't agree and then changing the subject.

 

I really am not interested in their opinions. Of course it depends if they are sincerely curious and just sound rude when asking, or if they, like my dad, have brought this topic up every 3-4 months for the past six years.:glare:

[HRAAB]

Nonsense! And I have two who have moved on into college and 'real life' with no problem at all.

[Joanne]

I think kids should experience other adults as leaders or teachers at some point to prepare for the future, think middle school or high school. There are so many ways to get this from co-ops, outside classes, scouts, etc. I don't think public school is necessary. I am using the ps system part-time right now with my high schooler. It was not a shock to his system by any means since he was used to other adults as teachers already.

 

Yes, and me too.

 

That said, I would (and have) answer the OP's query with variations of:

 

"Public school is the most common socialization and academic setting for western children. There is nothing intrinsically present in that setting that makes it the best or a needed process for children. I think your questions, dear boundary challenged person, emerge more from public school being the accepted norm rather than public school having inherent or needed value."

 

{Adding, if true}" My kids are getting all the exposure and experience necessary to prepare them for the "real world" you reference."

 

" Now, we can either change the subject or I can play quid pro quo with your intrusion and begin to talk about the risks I believe public schooled kids to have." (I may or may not add this one. :lol::auto:)

[LibraryLover]

I have never had anyone say that to me. I have had people say 'She is so lucky she's never been to school" or "She is so luclky she doesn't have to deal with school"

 

If someone did say that to me at say ballet, or art class etc., I might shrug and look around the room with a "What is this?" look on my face.

 

I've never met a hs'd child who never had any expereince with story hour , or an art class, a playgroup, or a music lesson.

Edited November 19, 2009 by LibraryLover

[HerdingCats]

I don't remember my college experience being anything like the "real world." "Culture" is all around us, you don't have to be in ps to experience it. I'm not sure how to respond to the "messed up people" requirement. I run across messed up people all the time and sometimes I'm one of them :D If your talking anti-social hoodlums, I don't recall ever hanging with any of those in my years of ps and I don't think I missed out on anything. The structure and discipline part seems kind of ironic to me. There are so many behavior problems inherent in trying to manage a classroom of 20+ kids. Although I am "herding cats" around here, there are only 3 of them! :lol: You could always make your kids eat lunch in 20 minute shifts starting at 10:30 if you want to replicate the routine!

[IsabelC]

I would say that the points raised are very valid if you have an only child, you live in a windowless basement and you never allow your child to go out or have any contact with the outside world, and never have any visitors. In 'normal' home schooling situations, these criticisms simply reflect the speaker's ignorance of how home education works, because there is plenty of opportunity to give home schooled children experience of culture, discipline and a wide variety of different people. It's really just a variation of the old socialization question, to which we reply that schooled children are limited to interacting with a group of age peers from similar socio economic backgrounds, whereas home educated children are free (to the extent that the parents allow) to form connections with people of all ages and walks of life.

[Trixie]

I'd probably give my usual "busybody" response: "Really? Hm. Interesting."

[Jennifer in NH]

You could argue that everyone should experience the military or jail for the same reasons. It just doesn't wash.

:iagree: was just thinking this same thing..or almost..I really don't ever need to go to jail, do I?

College is nothing like high school anyway. personally, I think a lot of homeschooled kids might be better at doing the studying that is required in college. Most PS kids are a bit sheltered when it comes to the no reminders part. in college the teachers aren't telling you that something is due next wek, or next month..you don't get a second chance to hand it in and all that.

[mrscopterdoc]

-That these kids need to have exposure to kids that are messed up.

 

We see messed up kids every time we go to Wal Mart and the mall :laugh:

 

I would say, "Shut up, moron!"

 

:lol: I love that!

[Mrs Mungo]

I would say, "Shut up, moron!"

 

That quote should be enough to prove you're socializing your kids! j/k :lol:

[eight_gregorys]

:lol:

 

I know. I've gotten so many annoying comments from strangers that sometimes I just want to be snarky. I never do, but sometimes people make being nice very hard.

[hornblower]

All depends on who's asking.

 

You could say 'Really? OMG! I'd better go sign them up right now! I never thought of that!' and leave.

 

Or you could say 'Hm. Oh, excuse me, I have to go check my voicemail.' (as you fumble with the cell in your pocket)

 

Or you could say, with great enthusiasm, 'Oh! Are you interested in education? That's so awesome! Have you read Gatto? Wise Bauer? What do you think of Alfie Kohn? etc etc (drop in lots of names here). What do you think of Gutterson's views?'

 

Odds are overwhelming they'll look blankly at you & mutter something about 'common sense'. Then you pull out your bag, rummage for a pen & paper & offer to write down their email so you can send them a few things. Very cheerfully.

 

Then every day for a week send them articles, (I'd start with Gatto, probably this one & then find the other articles of his that are avail on the web) clips to that creativity TED talk by Sir whatever his name is (I can't ever remember it...) etc etc.

 

If it's someone with kids of their own you just say "Interesting point of view but I don't agree with it. However, I'm all for people finding what's right for their own families."

 

If it's someone who is genuinely interested & maybe even considering homeschooling, then of course you talk to them about all these issues. It does take people a while sometimes to think through all this stuff & to figure out how homeschooling works & how it can meet all the social development needs of a child.

[myfunnybunch]

think/say that children who are homeschooled most of their life need to, at some point, experience the public school system.

 

-That they somehow will be in shock when they go to college or when they are on their own if they don't experience "culture" and what it is really like to function with society.

 

-That these kids need to have exposure to kids that are messed up.

 

-That they need to see the structure/discipline/routine that the school system provides.

 

I would say:

 

-They are not locked in a closet. Homeschooled children experience our culture and function quite well in society when they go to choir, karate, piano, church, the movies, birthday parties, the grocery store, volunteer, play with the neighbors, watch television, visit retirement centers, go to the library, play at the park.....

 

-Why?

The argument makes no sense to me. I see no benefit in being exposed to those who are "messed up." Most adults try to avoid spending time around dysfunctional people. I do see a value in being exposed to children and adults of different cultures/socioeconomic groups/abilities, but that can be accomplished just as easily in the many activities listed above.

 

-We provide structure. We provide discipline. We provide routine. I would ask someone presenting this argument: In what ways do you feel the structure, routine and discipline provided by schools are somehow more valuable/more reflective of the "real" world than other kinds of structure, routine and discipline?

 

Cat

[myfunnybunch]

dear boundary challenged person,

 

:lol:

[LibraryLover]

We see messed up kids every time we go to Wal Mart and the mall :laugh:

 

 

 

What is it with Walmart? It must be the lights or something, because I witness more out-of-control parenting nowhere else. It's like , " OK, I am in Walmart, time to smack around and yell at my kid". The time of day does not seem to matter (because I can certainly see how trying to shop in the eveing could be a big problem for everyone with little kids).

[eternalknot]

think/say that children who are homeschooled most of their life need to, at some point, experience the public school system.

 

-That they somehow will be in shock when they go to college or when they are on their own if they don't experience "culture" and what it is really like to function with society.

 

-That these kids need to have exposure to kids that are messed up.

 

-That they need to see the structure/discipline/routine that the school system provides.

 

 

I would like to hear your thoughts......

 

I think in some cases this could be true; particularly if you live in an area where the Stereotype of a Homeschooler persists because homeschooling is less common or seen.

 

I am related to teachers at all levels (preschool through university), so these comments have definitely arisen in conversation over the past few years that I've been homeschooling. These are people whose opinions I value, and who have personally interacted professionally with former homeschoolers.

 

I first put the onus on them to elaborate their opinion. Tell me WHY you believe this. Tell me WHY you feel this is a white-black scenario. Sometimes these people have valid viewpoints, and I think it doesn't do anybody any good to discount them simply because they run counter to our own beliefs and experiences as homeschoolers.

 

Once they've explained their perspective, I recount it point by point with explanations of how I'm meeting all of those "needs" in our homeschool and daily life. I leave no pause for discussion, and then wrap it up with something along the lines of - I'm sure we can agree that there are good/positive and bad/negative when it comes to all social groups. None are perfect, nor are any exempt.

[Audrey]

I would tell them not to worry. We've got all their concerns covered. We make ds raise his hand to speak. We make him wait in line for lunch. And during his bathroom breaks we take turns dunking his head in the toilet and stealing his pocket money.

[Impish]

My answer? "I don't need to be shot to know it would be an unpleasant experience." Then walk away.

[sadiegirl]

my husband and my parents feel this way. My boys are in 7th and 8th grades. They have always been homeschooled. We have always been involved in homeschool groups and outside activities...however, where we live now--there is little to no activities for middle school age kids. That is the main reason for my husband wanting to explore a local Christian high school that is new and has around 200 students. Our dilemma is when...if we start the oldest in 9th, then my younger son will be alone at the house for a year so he said we should look at waiting until they can go at the same time. I personally dread the entire experience and so do my boys. We are happy with how things are.

[Remudamom]

Gah. I'd probably say "That theory is so stupid I'm not even going to waste time answering you."

 

The Mungo nailed it.

[LibraryLover]

My answer? "I don't need to be shot to know it would be an unpleasant experience." Then walk away.

 

 

lol Would you really? I always want to think the questioner has a genuine concern...yk, when I am in a good mood I think that. ;)

 

I am (mostly lol) wanting to encourage people to hs, so I wouldn't right off suggest I think that their sending their kids to schools means I think they are sending their children into war zones....or anything. (yeah, yeah, some schools are war zones....ok).

 

Of course, I do have a sweet pea in public high school, so this does color my ideals somewhat. :tongue_smilie:

[OhM]

You could argue that everyone should experience the military or jail for the same reasons. It just doesn't wash.

 

This was my first thought, too - if that's true, then shouldn't we all spend some time in jail "for the experience"?

 

I think I would ask what a previous poster said - "Why?"

 

Why do they need that experience? How does it help them? How does knowing those things equip them to achieve, or to impact the world in a positive way? And why would someone think that they're not exposed to such things out in the world?

[Impish]

lol Would you really? I always want to think the questioner has a genuine concern...yk, when I am in a good mood I think that. ;)

 

I am (mostly lol) wanting to encourage people to hs, so I wouldn't right off suggest I think that their sending their kids to schools means I think they are sending their children into war zones....or anything. (yeah, yeah, some schools are war zones....ok).

 

Of course, I do have a sweet pea in public high school, so this does color my ideals somewhat. :tongue_smilie:

Would I? I have. And, having pulled Diva from grade 3, and having gone through high school myself, I *do* equate public school, at any grade level, to be unpleasant.

[5LittleMonkeys]

I would and have replied like this, "Really, that's very interesting. Can you give me the name of the book or research material you based this on so that I can read it too. I always get a kick out of reading information that is not based on facts." To this they usually reply that they didn't read it anywhere that it is just their opinion to which I usually reply, "So, have you read any good books lately?" They are usually so dumbfounded they start stammering about the latest People magazine they just read.:D

 

I do like Mrs. Mungo's reply a lot...I think I'll use that one next time.:lol:

[LibraryLover]

Would I? I have. And, having pulled Diva from grade 3, and having gone through high school myself, I *do* equate public school, at any grade level, to be unpleasant.

 

 

Oh! I am not saying it can't be unpleasant, but I always try to see individual circumstances before I go whole hog against. I don't want to make enemies needlessly. And me with a lovely sweet pea in a public high school, I can't disgrace the entire option without completely dismissing my son, his thoughtful prgramming, wonderful music program, and his particular needs. I see the good that it can offer some folks, so I imagine others see that too. Kwim? Maybe not. lol

Edited November 19, 2009 by LibraryLover

[Mrs Mungo]

Oh! I am not saying it can't be unpleasant, but I always try to see individual circumstances before I go whole hog against. I don't want to make enemies needlessly. And me with a lovely sweet pea in a public high school, I can't disgrace the entire option without completely dismissing my son, his thoughtful prgramming, wonderful music program, and his particular needs. I see the good that it can offer some folks, so I imagine others see that too. Kwim? Maybe not. lol

 

But I don't think it dismisses any benefits to point out flawed logic. In order to argue the point you *would* probably wind up dissing schools. If you just blast their logic, it doesn't say anything about schools.

[jenL]

I would tell them not to worry. We've got all their concerns covered. We make ds raise his hand to speak. We make him wait in line for lunch. And during his bathroom breaks we take turns dunking his head in the toilet and stealing his pocket money.

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[msjones]

I did the snarky response once.

 

I was at a very lovely backyard garden party in a beautiful neighborhood -- all women, wonderful food, wine, lanterns in the trees... ahhh....

 

I was enjoying the conversation, sipping my wine, when-- as it always does -- the topic of school came up.

 

After I said that we homeschool, I noticed one woman was visibly surprised. I had quickly changed the subject -- as I always do-- but she had a question. She wanted to know, "do your kids ever get out and see other kids?"

 

I quickly decided on the snarky reply. I looked her square in the eye, smiled warmly, and said "no." I maintained eye contact while I had another sip of my wine.

 

She had NO IDEA what to say. I allowed a good 20 seconds of silence before I said, "just kidding."

 

Ooo, was she mad. (There were about 4 of us in on this conversation.)

 

I then felt like a complete witch. I wanted to take it back, but, too late -- it was out there.

 

I've never done the snarky reply again, and I hope I never do. I think that many people are truly unaware of the many options for homeschoolers in the same way I'm unaware of, say, the benefits of home-birthing.

 

I think it's best to stay kind and positive and really work to change the subject.

[mama2cntrykids]

I would say, "Shut up, moron!"

 

J/K...That's what I'd want to say.

QUOTE]

 

:lol:--Sorry, that was funny!

[StephanieZ]

"Pass the bean dip, please."

[Chris in VA]

"Listen, Sister. I've got one kid who did drugs and drank until he wised up at 18. I've got another who is threatening to commit suicide over some stupid chick every time I turn around. I have a brother who died from cancer, alcoholic grandparents, and a history of depression. If my homeschooled kid gets any more 'real world' I think I'd send MYSELF to a f-ing public school just for a break."

 

There. How's that?:glare:

[cathmom]

think/say that children who are homeschooled most of their life need to, at some point, experience the public school system.

 

-That they somehow will be in shock when they go to college or when they are on their own if they don't experience "culture" and what it is really like to function with society.

 

 

 

My oldest told me that his college orientation weekend was pretty much solely focused on telling the public schooled kids that COLLEGE IS NOT LIKE HIGH SCHOOL!

 

So, sending them to high school to prepare them for college would be a waste of time.

[Retired]

well they don't need public school to learn about the real world or college but they do need parents that are willing to guide them and inform them that their are people with different moral, religion, etc They need to be shown proper way to deal with people that are different. This will happen with the parents not a bunch of snotty kids.

 

But extreme homeschooling sheltering IMO can be bad.

 

I say this because my sil home schools and her kids are sheltered to the point, they can only be with people from their church, they are not allowed to play with other kids at the park, she has never let them stay with other people for sitting (aunts, grandmother, etc.) At family parties, her or her husband are with the kids at all times. They can't just be off playing with the other kids. They don't want them accidentally exposed.These kids are kept in emotional bubble wrap from anything of the sinful world. Yet my 8 yo nephew can yell that if you read anything but the King James bible you are going to hell I am sorry to say these are the home schooler everyone thinks are nuts.

 

These are also seem to be the type everyone has meet or seen.

[teamturner]

I would tell them not to worry. We've got all their concerns covered. We make ds raise his hand to speak. We make him wait in line for lunch. And during his bathroom breaks we take turns dunking his head in the toilet and stealing his pocket money.

 

I love this! :lol:

[Mrs Mungo]

I did the snarky response once.

 

I was at a very lovely backyard garden party in a beautiful neighborhood -- all women, wonderful food, wine, lanterns in the trees... ahhh....

 

I was enjoying the conversation, sipping my wine, when-- as it always does -- the topic of school came up.

 

After I said that we homeschool, I noticed one woman was visibly surprised. I had quickly changed the subject -- as I always do-- but she had a question. She wanted to know, "do your kids ever get out and see other kids?"

 

I quickly decided on the snarky reply. I looked her square in the eye, smiled warmly, and said "no." I maintained eye contact while I had another sip of my wine.

 

She had NO IDEA what to say. I allowed a good 20 seconds of silence before I said, "just kidding."

 

Ooo, was she mad. (There were about 4 of us in on this conversation.)

 

I then felt like a complete witch. I wanted to take it back, but, too late -- it was out there.

 

I've never done the snarky reply again, and I hope I never do. I think that many people are truly unaware of the many options for homeschoolers in the same way I'm unaware of, say, the benefits of home-birthing.

 

I think it's best to stay kind and positive and really work to change the subject.

 

The straight face-that was your downfall. I can never keep a straight face and I'm one of those crazy-laugh girls. They never take me seriously, not for a second. Here, take lessons from Foster's on sarcasm. ;):lol:

[Ellie]

-That they somehow will be in shock when they go to college or when they are on their own if they don't experience "culture" and what it is really like to function with society.

:lol::lol:

In whose world is society like school?

 

-That these kids need to have exposure to kids that are messed up.

:lol::lol:

Because....??

 

-That they need to see the structure/discipline/routine that the school system provides.

:lol::lol:

As if parents are not capable of having structure/discipline/routine in the home? I wonder how society managed in the thousands of years before public schools existed?? Have these people actually *seen* public school campuses? classrooms? Oh, yeah...those are such good examples of structure/discipline/routine.

[sunshine]

I would tell them not to worry. We've got all their concerns covered. We make ds raise his hand to speak. We make him wait in line for lunch. And during his bathroom breaks we take turns dunking his head in the toilet and stealing his pocket money.

 

:smilielol5:And don't forget to tell him he's stupid 2 or 3 times a day while giving him a wedgie.

[sunshine]

"Listen, Sister. I've got one kid who did drugs and drank until he wised up at 18. I've got another who is threatening to commit suicide over some stupid chick every time I turn around. I have a brother who died from cancer, alcoholic grandparents, and a history of depression. If my homeschooled kid gets any more 'real world' I think I'd send MYSELF to a f-ing public school just for a break."

 

There. How's that?:glare:

 

:smilielol5:yeah this one made me laugh so hard I don't need to do crunches tonight!

[Carol in Cal.]

think/say that children who are homeschooled most of their life need to, at some point, experience the public school system.

 

-That they somehow will be in shock when they go to college or when they are on their own if they don't experience "culture" and what it is really like to function with society.

 

-That these kids need to have exposure to kids that are messed up.

 

-That they need to see the structure/discipline/routine that the school system provides.

 

 

I would like to hear your thoughts......

 

Baloney.

 

Now that I've said that, I'll go and read the other replies.

[Rosy]

What would you say to those who.....

think/say that children who are homeschooled most of their life need to, at some point, experience the public school system.

 

I would say "nuh-uh"...and if that didn't work, follow up with a few rounds of "I know you are but what am I?" ;)

 

Seriously, it would depend on whether the questioner was sincerely wondering or offering a thinly-veiled criticism of my choices. But I really don't see the public schools offering anything of value that I can't get at home, church, co-op, or in the many activities in which my kids participate.

[lovemykids]

I would say, "Shut up, moron!"

 

J/K...That's what I'd want to say.

 

 

 

 

:rofl:

[lovemykids]

:smilielol5:And don't forget to tell him he's stupid 2 or 3 times a day while giving him a wedgie.

 

:lol: