Jump to content

Menu

girls and shaving legs


Recommended Posts

sorry, I will be logging off soon and won't bother you guys much longer!

 

At what age did your girls start to shave? I have Italian blood in me and have to deal with hair. I HATE IT. I use the Enjoli just so I won't have to shave every day. I totally regret shaving the top of my legs but never got any input from my mother.

 

Now with my same almost 10 yodd she's getting quite a bit of hair on her legs amd it's getting longer. I'd hate to have her start to shave it too soon as it will come in thicker and faster. But during the summer, it's really getting noticeable and long! Are there any alternatives to shavings and creams? I'd love to use the enjoli because then it will never come in thick, but I'd never subject her to that pain.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

sorry, I will be logging off soon and won't bother you guys much longer!

 

At what age did your girls start to shave? I have Italian blood in me and have to deal with hair. I HATE IT. I use the Enjoli just so I won't have to shave every day. I totally regret shaving the top of my legs but never got any input from my mother.

 

Now with my same almost 10 yodd she's getting quite a bit of hair on her legs amd it's getting longer. I'd hate to have her start to shave it too soon as it will come in thicker and faster. But during the summer, it's really getting noticeable and long! Are there any alternatives to shavings and creams? I'd love to use the enjoli because then it will never come in thick, but I'd never subject her to that pain.

 

If she is feeling self-conscious then it is time. It's not worth her feeling bad about herself just because it's going to be a hassle from now on. I think shaving is the easiest method. Good Luck!

Margaret

Link to comment
Share on other sites

sorry, I will be logging off soon and won't bother you guys much longer!

 

At what age did your girls start to shave? I have Italian blood in me and have to deal with hair. I HATE IT. I use the Enjoli just so I won't have to shave every day. I totally regret shaving the top of my legs but never got any input from my mother.

 

Now with my same almost 10 yodd she's getting quite a bit of hair on her legs amd it's getting longer. I'd hate to have her start to shave it too soon as it will come in thicker and faster. But during the summer, it's really getting noticeable and long! Are there any alternatives to shavings and creams? I'd love to use the enjoli because then it will never come in thick, but I'd never subject her to that pain.

 

 

I let mine as soon as its an issue for them...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

At park day, a couple of the middle-ish age girls' moms were quietly chatting with each other about development. A lot of the children, younger and older, had hair on their legs. It's supposed to be there. None of them were shaving. My 10 yr old is brunette and she's never asked and I've never brought it up. So what if they have hair on their legs? Unless you bring it up (or someone else mean does), she's not likely to think hair is bad.

 

Why would anyone want to burden a 10 yr old with regular shaving? To what end? Please. Why do people even wonder about this for little girls? Let it come from the child, and even then I would be talking a lot about societal messages vs messages that I think are better. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is funny -

 

I have a vivid memory of this as a child. When I was 5, I was playing with a neighbor boy, who announced, "I would marry you, but your legs are too hairy." True story! :glare:

 

The summer before sixth grade, I informed my mother I would NOT go to school unless she let me shave my legs. And thus it began. . . . .

 

I don't regret it for myself, but with my girls I've let them set the pace. My eldest started when she was 12 ish - ballet tights and all that were a deciding factor. She and my next oldest dd (10) have lighter hair than I do/did.

 

My 9yo dd needs a back wax, poor kid. She's got the hair thing in spades. However, she's also pretty clueless and quite a tomboy, so I don't see it becoming a big issue too early.

 

That's a long way of saying, ITA with the folks who say it should be led by the daughter.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

fwiw -

 

dd #3 is 11. when she asked about underarm hair, we chatted. i told her how sad i was that i had shaved too much area, too soon. i talked about different cultures, and how some don't ever shave underarms. she thought about it. she's a dancer. she decided she would only shave right before she danced, if it were noticeable. recently she asked about legs. same discussion. she's decided tights/leggings are the current route of choice.

 

if i were you, i'd wait until dd asks OR you overhear other folks noticing in a negative fashion. (some kids are very aware, and others just aren't). then i'd tell her just what you told us, and explain pain vs. results and then let her choose. (dd #1 had her legs waxed at her request.... once ; ). i'd lean towards suggesting shaving only what is visible and only when its going to be visible, KWIM? (ie. if she lives in jeans, she has no worries for a while now....)

 

hth,

ann

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If she's self-conscious, then the shaving will be worth it for her.

 

My mom refused to let me shave and told me it wasn't a big deal for my age. She made me wait until 9th grade to shave and pluck my eyebrows. By then I'd already developed huge self-esteem issues. Not that the hair thing was the only factor, but it was a big deal to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Does she think the hair on her head is gross? Where did she get a message like that? I have two dds and this 'gross' thing about body hair has never come up once. I do shave, fwiw.

 

probably from her oldest brother, who is not happy about the amount of hair on his legs. He's so self conscious that he hates to wear shorts. I think it's silly. I also think it stems from the large, flat mole he has on his leg, one which grows a lot of hair out of it. We're going to have it removed this summer. We were waiting for him to be old enough to make the decision on his own.

 

What he doesn't see is all the girls cooing over him because he's handsome. He hates his hair and that's the way it is. He also doesn't notice all the other boys with dark hair and legs as hairy as his.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If she's self-conscious, then the shaving will be worth it for her.

 

My mom refused to let me shave and told me it wasn't a big deal for my age. She made me wait until 9th grade to shave and pluck my eyebrows. By then I'd already developed huge self-esteem issues. Not that the hair thing was the only factor, but it was a big deal to me.

 

 

I am not sure how a parent can disresepct a child so. Your mother had a rule in place which did not take *you* into account. I don't get that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am partly Italian and Hungarian. My natural hair color is black. When I was in the 4th grade (age 10) I hit a point where I no longer wanted to wear skirts and dresses to school and birthday parties. My legs were very hairy and because of the color very noticeable. I had become very conscious of it. (I don't remember, but I'm sure some other little girls pointed it out and made rude comments, knowing how some girls can be).

 

Well Easter came and Mom really wanted me in a dress. My mom agreed to let me start shaving. She bought me an electric shaver and I used that for many years before moving onto a shaving with a razer. I didn't shave daily, but only when I needed/wanted to wear a skirt/dress or over the summer for shorts. In the winter I often wore tights with skirts and could skip the shaving.

 

My daughter is very blond so I don't think I'm going to have this issue with her for a very long time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

older dd has the hairy hispanic genes from me, so since she was really hairy, enough that people commented, she started at 10, allowing just above the knee, no thighs.

 

younger dd is almost 10 and not shaving b/c she barely has any hair.

 

I prefer they waited longer, but I thought it wasn't really worth the blow to self-esteem to make her wait. We shall see for the younger.

 

FWIW: I also told them I don't even shave in the winter. Dh doesn't care at all and I'm in jeans all the time, so no one sees. Since we live in FL though, were are mostly in shorts and skirts throughout the year.

Edited by johnandtinagilbert
Link to comment
Share on other sites

If she is feeling self-conscious then it is time. It's not worth her feeling bad about herself just because it's going to be a hassle from now on. I think shaving is the easiest method. Good Luck!

Margaret

 

:iagree:

 

My mom wouldn't let me shave when I was 12 and extremely self-concious about it because she had the arbitrary age of *14* in her mind. (Why, she never explained.) It was so mortifying, I swore that I would let my dd shave whenever she wanted.

 

So I was really regretting that when oldest dd decided she was ready at 10! But I stuck to my vow and let her do it, and I believe it was a good choice.

 

Younger dd is just turning 12, and has shaved maybe 2-3 times since summer. She's just not as interested or concerned.

 

If she's ready, let her. If she hasn't noticed it yet, and isn't concerned, I wouldn't introduce the subject at that age.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My eldest brought it up when she was 12 because a boy commented on her underarm hair. I had no problem with her shaving at that point. She has lots of dark, coarse hair (she takes after hubby). My younger dd has not brought it up but barely has any hair on her legs or anything (I don't have much, either). I don't think it's fair for moms to place their own baggage on their daughters, either way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Both my dds began around 8 or 9. We live in Florida so kids are in shorts and tank tops or swim suits most of the year. I let them shave whenever they felt the desire. (I did warn them it wasn't worth it to shave the upper legs, so neither they nor I bother with that. :))

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not a mama yet, so please take this for what it's worth (which probably isn't much...)

 

 

I would let her shave when she expresses interest/becomes self conscious about it - provided she's responsible enough to do it safely.

 

My mom made me wait three years after I wanted to (5th grade) before she let me start, and I was completely miserable. I was so self conscious that I lost out on three years of wearing shorts, skirts, and swimming with my friends during the summer and at camp. I still get upset when I think about the pain it caused me. I developed early, so I was the 7th grade girl who already had her period for 2 years, was wearing a DD bra, and had dark hairy legs. All of my friends, who were in general much less developed, were all allowed to shave, and I definitely felt like a freak. I was forced to wear shorts for gym class, and it made me miserable and embarrassed on a daily basis. I think it's just such an unnecessary stress during an already stressful time. Looking back on it, I'm pretty sure this is the one time in my life I wish that I hadn't been obedient to my parents. My mom would have been upset with me, but winning her trust back would have taken much less time than the three years of pain it caused me. Going back and reading this, it sounds very dramatic, but trust me when I say that I'm as far from a drama queen as it gets. The embarrassment that this caused really was a defining part of my adolescence.

 

 

I would like to note that I know my mom didn't know the true amount of pain she caused me. If there was some way for her to truly know, I have to believe that she would have changed her mind because she really is a compassionate person. She has never shaved her legs because she was blessed with only the occasional very light, thin hair on her arms and legs. She just viewed it as another "curse" of growing up that she was trying to save me from having to go through before I needed to.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My oldest was probably 11 yo. She has blond hair, so I made sure I told her to only shave up to her knees. (I have dark hair and have to shave my thighs, too.)

 

My 13 yo has no interest in shaving, so I haven't pushed it. I did make her shave her underarms for swimming this summer, but that's all. The hair on her legs is fairly thick, but at least it's blond so it's not too bad. I offered to get her an electric shaver, thinking that maybe she was afraid of cutting herself, but she didn't want that either.

 

My youngest was age 7 when she told me she needs to shave her legs. NOT. :-) She has ADHD and I really wouldn't trust her to even use an electric shaver safely.

Edited by LizzyBee
Link to comment
Share on other sites

So for those of you who say you let your daughter whenever they express a desire to shave, what about this: My 7yo thinks she needs to shave her legs. She has gotten this idea from her teenage cousins who have given her a hard time about being hairy. (Now, she is quite hairy. It runs in the family.) I have explained to her what a pain in the butt shaving gets to be, and also that I myself rarely even shave (sorry if that grosses you out, but I wear jeans a lot). She still wants to shave. But for pete's sake, she's only 7!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would let her start shaving if it bothers her. My oldest is 12 and you can not see the hair on her legs, but oh my, my youngest is really hairy at 9. Her legs are getting dark, her arms are dark with hair....she has not mentioned wanting to shave. At park day another girl mentioned to her how much hair she had on her legs, and dd shrugged it off.

 

I know there is no way this kid could handle a regular razor, so the minute she wants to shave, I'm buying her an electric razor. My bigger worry is when she notices she has it on her back? What then? Can that be lasered off? :confused: And no I'm not kidding, I'm serious.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I let mine as soon as its an issue for them...

 

Same here. If she's grossed out, invite her to shave. It's not a big deal like when we were girls (waaaay back when). With a little help from you, she won't have any nicks or cuts.

 

She's really too young for waxes or chemicals. I'd let her shave until she's old enough to wax.

 

Another alternative is laser. I had it and it kept me hair free for five years. I have very manageable thin, light hairs now. It works best on light skin with dark hair. It's expensive, but I've seen home units on Amazon that purport to be good. I probably wouldn't go there unless I heard good reviews from someone trusted.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Both of my girls have very noticeable hair on their legs...and they're only 5 and 3. I KNOW this is going to become an issue at some point, as some thoughtless person will make a comment about it, and they'll be worried/scared/sad, etc. :(

 

My Mom was dead set against letting me shave ("fast" girls shave their legs...I can still hear my Mom). I remember the first time I did it. By myself. With my Mom's horrible razor. Dry....:ohmy: I had been so self-conscious about my hairy legs, and I was off to the first Jr. High church social of the summer. I was too embarrassed to show my legs in shorts so I did just decided to do it on my own. My parents then did realize that it was an important to me, and my Mom helped me. She went so far as to buy me chemical depilatory (I think it was Nair - STINKY! I won't do that) I don't think I will let it get this far with my girls. I'll help them when the time comes, perhaps with a wet/dry electric razor.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I let my girls start with an electric razor because they all wanted to start before I was comfortable turning them loose with a sharp instrument on their bodies (in what other situation would you turn a 10 years old loose with a sharp instrument?) I don't know maybe I worry about that aspect too much but in any case, all my girls shaved two or three times a year for the first two or three years before they started shaving regularly. The oldest two have given it up already (as have I).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My dd is 7. I noticed recently that the hair on her legs is getting darker and thicker. I will let her shave when she wants to start. I really don't find shaving a huge issue. I do it every couple of days. It takes 2 minutes and I'm done. I do think I will get an electric shaver after reading this thread :) She has said nothing about it, but I'm thinking it will come sooner than later. She's a girly girl!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Agreeing w/ many to let a dd shave when she wants to/it becomes important to her.

 

Reading all this has made me think back to my best friend around that age, who was so proud of her Flicker safety razor (remember those?) that her mom got her. She was 'demonstrating' to me how it was safe & how you couldn't cut yourself. Guess how she was demonstrating? By raking it back & forth (hard) across her palm really quickly. I was wincing watching her. Guess what? Safety razors aren't always safe. :blink: (She was missing a chunk of her palm after that for a bit.)

 

She grew up to become a nurse. I wouldn't want her coming after me w/ a razor! :tongue_smilie::lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When it is important to your dd. My dd is 9 and expressed interest this year because the hair on her legs is very dark. We discussed shaving and how the hair would lighten over the summer but if she shaves it will come in dark. She decided not to shave this year. I suspect next year she will start shaving. I would like her to wait longer but if the hair is really bothering her she is welcome to shave it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is so discouraging for me. DD is 9, a competitive gymnast. She trains 4 days a week, 13 hrs/wk. Her leg hair is very very noticeable. When she starts shaving, she won't be able to stop during the winter, like mom. She will need to keep it up. I am thinking of having her undergo the laser hair removal as soon as she can (13?) and just get rid of it for good...

 

Now DS is not as hairy, but puberty is about to hit. He's a synchronized swimmer, one of the very few boys. I *think* he will have to shave too. Yuck. Underarm, legs, and chest. ouch!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My mother didn't tell me anything about shaving, or any other body issues I might have wanted to know about for that matter! I remember knicking myself quite a few times. Mine wanted to start shaving when she was 11. She was on swim team for a while, and I don't know if other kids mentioned it or if the idea just arrived on its own. Either way, she was concerned about it, so I made sure she knew how to be safe with the razor before telling her to go ahead. We haven't had any mishaps yet.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

sorry, I will be logging off soon and won't bother you guys much longer!

 

At what age did your girls start to shave? I have Italian blood in me and have to deal with hair. I HATE IT. I use the Enjoli just so I won't have to shave every day. I totally regret shaving the top of my legs but never got any input from my mother.

 

Now with my same almost 10 yodd she's getting quite a bit of hair on her legs amd it's getting longer. I'd hate to have her start to shave it too soon as it will come in thicker and faster. But during the summer, it's really getting noticeable and long! Are there any alternatives to shavings and creams? I'd love to use the enjoli because then it will never come in thick, but I'd never subject her to that pain.

 

.... first time. We are French and Basque (read lots of dark, long hair everywhere). And my daughter just doesn't care. The only reason she shaved last week is because she had a big swim meet, and wanted to get rid of as much drag as possible. This is her first year as a competitive swimmer. The girls on the team all agreed to not shave until their conference meet. They had the team captain check their legs as they came in for practice each day to make sure everyone was sticking to the agreement. They were all amazed at the amount of hair on dd's legs, which really made her laugh! She thought that shaving was a pain, (even though her times improved considerably in her races). And she probably won't shave again now that swimming is over. Except for under her arms, because that is a hygiene issue, whereas legs are a cultural issue. To each his own, I always say. I'm glad she doesn't care. Razor blades are expensive!! ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The subject came up when she was late 11, after spending some time with a cousin who is 2 years older. So, we talked about it then. She didn't want to start shaving, we just talked about the hows and whys, and I told her just to let me know when she wanted to start.

 

This summer, a few months into 12, she wanted to shave under her arms (and I agreed it was time). By the end of the summer she was shaving her legs as well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The only thing I hated about my parents' rules (they were big on waiting for things) was that I had to wait to shave. I had very pale skin and very dark hair. I was teased at school about it. I hated it and was thrilled when I finally got razors in my Christmas stocking! (yes, it was that big of a deal)

 

I told my DD she could shave as soon as she wanted. I think she was about 10 when she started. I don't remember exactly. Her hair is blonde, so it's not that big of a deal to her, but it was to me. :)

 

Talk to her about various grooming issues and let her know that she can shave when she's ready. If it's not bothering her, there's no point in it. If it is, though, it will be a relief to her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I let my dd shave her armpits when she was about 10.5. It was this past summer and she was really feeling embarrassed going to the pool with all of her cousins. I told her that she could hold off on her legs for awhile since the hair is pretty light and not all that noticeable. She seemed fine with that choice, so we haven't had to talk about it anymore. As soon as she says she feel uncomfortable with the hair on her legs, I will agree to let her shave up to the knee. I suspect that will be next summer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...