Question for experienced horse people

[rzberrymom]

Funny question for experienced horse people, but how often should I expect that a kid will be bucked off her horse??

She’s been riding since she was six and is now 14. At our first stable, she was barely ever bucked. We moved to another state right around covid, it was hard to find anyone who would take a new kid during covid, and so we had to settle for a place that seems lax with horse safety.

The kids are bucked off all.the.time. They have stickers on the back of their helmets for each time they are thrown. The arenas are sand (we’re close to the beach), so the kids swear it doesn’t hurt much. 

It all seems weird to me. Is this normal??

It’s cheap at this stable. The kids all muck stalls to help pay, the horses are all rehabbed. I love that it’s a bunch of working class families, so nothing is expensive and snobby and exclusive. The kids are so wonderful, and I let this go on too long and they’re family to my kid now.

But she’s thrown about every other week. The last time, she came inches from being kicked in the head. She’s getting tough and strong, and she can handle some crazy horses by now. But I HATE watching all these kids get thrown.

I’m the overprotective mom in the group. It’s just me that feels this way. I’ve talked to the owners—they’re wonderful, but I’m the odd one that thinks this is weird. Nothing is going to change. 

So, do I need to get over it and let her be? Or is this as bizarre as I think it is? It will be like a horrible break-up to take her away from there, so I’m struggling so much with this. 😔

Edited May 15 by rzberrymom

[rzberrymom]

I should have said I really only need opinions from the horse people. All my non-horse mom friends think this is as insane as I do. 😂

[Kalmia]

I've ridden, off and on, at many different stables in many areas of the country since I was 16 (I am 54) and I have only been bucked off ONE time and that is because the horse I was riding was stung by a yellow jacket. Paralysis, injury, or death are rare but possible result of being bucked off. And it is not okay to have children around horses that are not child-safe. Lesson horses should be as close to bombproof as possible. The owner has been letting these horses get away with this behavior and has not been retraining as he or she should. I would pull my kid and find a new stable. 

[fairfarmhand]

We owned horses for years. It happened ONCE here. I would find a new place this place is NOT safe. Horses that buck are not for novice riders. Not for learning. 

[Katy]

I think it’s weird. Now keep in mind, I grew up with our own horses. Many of which my dad trained. I think I’ve only been to a handful of stables for riding. But I wasn’t allowed near a green/stubborn/newly trained horse as a child except for grooming and feeding. And we were in Florida where if I was thrown it would be into sand. But I wouldn’t think anyone letting children get onto rehabbed horses that routinely throw them would have the proper insurance. Let alone know how to properly train them. I would find a different place. That seems like waiting for someone to get a broken neck. 

[history-fan]

I started riding dressage around 12yo and have continued riding and have never been bucked off.  Besides the safety of the kids the attitude of stickers is strange.

[Spryte]

I grew up riding: we had horses at home; I rode at two different stables; and showed. I did participate in training my own, and produced a push button show horse. It was horse country. But I am not a current horse mom, so not sure my opinion counts for much.

FWIW, we fell occasionally (I can recall each time I fell vividly, and it was twice in years and years of riding — same jump each time, same lesson, ugh), but definitely not weekly. More like once or twice over years and years. I would not say we were bucked off — I associate being bucked off with a different scenario, and unreliable horses.

If you’ve got kids being thrown off weekly due to poor horse behavior — I would probably find another place to ride.

And the sticker thing?! What the heck?!
 

Edited May 15 by Spryte

[prairiewindmomma]

I grew up with and on horses.

I would absolutely be finding a different stable. I agree, instructional horses should be pretty much bomb proof.

I very rarely got bucked or had runaway attempts. Bucking horses should be retrained or sold or retired (some buck from pain) and have no business anywhere near kids. 

[prairiewindmomma]

Chiming back to say—those rehabbed horses arent properly rehabbed. Either they have been traumatized or poorly trained or both. 

[HomeAgain]

I would be really uncomfortable with this.  I used to ride as a kid and the only injuries sustained by learners were the ones willing to ride an ornery Shetland pony.  He'd be fine, but when he was tired of having someone on his back he'd take off at a full trot to his favorite tree and sneak under the low hanging branch.  It was well known, kids were told in advance, and there was never any pressure to ride him, just a lot of willingness from a kid eager to prove the owners wrong (spoiler: the owners were never wrong)

 

Horses that are bucking kids are not well trained or well listened to. They're saying something needs to be changed in the program.

[Spryte]

Coming back to say that I have lived much of my life near the location of a very sad, famous horse accident, in which Very Famous Person fell and was permanently paralyzed. I have hunt friends who were with him at the time, and have ridden in that same area. It’s haunting and sobering, considering we’ve all done exactly what he did. 

Falling is not something to take lightly. Period.

 

 

Edited May 15 by Spryte

[Corraleno]

That is NOT normal and it is not remotely ok! I seriously cannot believe any riding stable would tell parents that it's normal for a child to be bucked off every other week!

My kids and I all used to ride and when we lived in NM we had up to 10 horses at a time, most of which were pretty "hot" horses (thoroughbreds or thoroughbred crosses); my kids started riding when they were 3 and 4, and neither of them have ever been bucked off a horse.  My ex's developmentally disabled uncle in his 70s and 80s used to ride one of our TB-crosses, and when we moved to Oregon I donated that horse to a riding for the disabled program because he was extremely well trained and totally bombproof. 

I have only ever been bucked off once in 20 years of riding, and that was at a stable where I was accidentally put on a recently rescued TB who they'd been feeding oats to fatten him up and he hadn't been exercised in a couple of days. He got spooked and practically launched me to the moon, resulting in a broken collarbone and two cracked ribs. And not only did the stable not try to gaslight me that that was "normal," they were terrified I was going to sue them.

My ex used to train dressage horses, and he had a permanent back injury from being bucked off a crazy TB, and then another time he was dragged by a rescue he was trying to rehab, which resulted in a head injury. He also shattered his wrist when he came off a show jumper that he was training for a friend, and that wrist required multiple surgeries and never healed right. The fact that your DD has been landing in the sand with no injuries so far doesn't mean the next time she won't break her neck or get kicked in the head — and that's just not worth the risk. Plus the fact that this stable is willing to repeatedly put children on unsafe horses makes me wonder what other safety shortcuts they're taking. Please find a safer, more responsible stable!

Edited May 15 by Corraleno

[Ausmumof3]

Nope! Time to move on…

I had riding lessons as a kid and only ever came off once 

[zimom]

NOPE, NOPE, NOPE.   Horse person here.  Your child deserves better than this.  Your child's head deserves better than this.  CTE????  A child was lost at a former barn from a fall even wearing a helmet.   NOPE, NOPE, NOPE.   Please do not let them ride another day there.  And are you aware that after any serious fall, which would include being bucked off, their helmets should be thrown in the trash and replaced?   Similar to a car seat in an accident, you have no idea if the integrity of the helmet has been compromised.   

[scbusf]

My daughter rides and competes (mostly Fun Shows). She has ridden horses for about 6-7 years. I think she has fallen 3 or maybe 4 times. 
 

I’d find a new place immediately. 

[CTVKath]

Not normal. My DD rides and she’s had a few falls and they were part rider/part horse. She sailed over a fence early on so I require her to wear a safety vest. Any head hits have required a new helmet. It’s not a regular occurrence though. Not for her or any rider at our barn.

One of her friends at a different barn broke her back falling off during a jump. Another broke a collar bone falling while jumping. They are both fine now and still riding. It’s a dangerous sport at any level. It isn’t normal to have kids regularly bucked off. I wouldn’t tolerate the stickers either or the helmet with stickers on it.

Sorry to be so harsh. I’d leave.

[Happy2BaMom]

This stable is massively normalizing reactive behavior from poorly trained & probably traumatized horses (I agree w/ whomever upthread said something similar). They don't want to have to deal with the horse issues they have, so they turn misbehavior - & dangerous behavior - into a sport for the riders, with "stickers" being a point of pride. Nobody asks too many questions that way.

That's really, really *&^%ed up.

And entirely unfair to the poor horses, who are engaging in abnormal behavior and communicating the only way they know how that what is happening there isn't working for them.  

DD has ridden - western, eventing, jumping, dressage, competitive trail - for the last 10 years and has had her own horse for 9 of those years. Due to moves (& other events), she's been with multiple different barns, trainers & lesson horses. She had one little (13.2 hand) pony who could be a devil at trying to throw her, but I think IRL it only happened 2, maybe 3, times. That's the only time any horse bucked her. (ETA: I had to give special written permission for dd to ride this pony and she was only allowed to ride him because she had been with that instructor for a couple of years and was a pretty competent rider. )

We've known kids who've had shattered arms, broken collarbones, concussions, a broken pelvis, multiple-day hospital stays, and more from being thrown. Just nope. Nope, nope, nope. And I hope at some point those poor horses get someone in to advocate for them. 

 

Edited May 15 by Happy2BaMom

[Corraleno]

5 minutes ago, CTVKath said:

I wouldn’t tolerate the stickers either or the helmet with stickers on it.

The stickers are crazy — like "here's a constant reminder of how many times our reckless disregard for safety almost killed or paralyzed your kid"! Plus the fact that they keep adding them to the same helmet means no one is replacing their helmet after they fall. So many red flags!

[Innisfree]

I have less experience than most people posting, but I rode for years as a kid at a responsible stable, and my kids rode for years at a couple of good, well regarded stables. Echoing everyone else: what you’re describing isn’t normal and isn’t remotely safe. Even under the best circumstances, people can get seriously hurt in falls. Bucking just shouldn’t happen, and the staff should be taking any fall seriously. This isn’t the way you want to teach your kids to handle horses, and it’s certainly not worth the risks involved. And, yes, those helmets should be tossed and replaced after every fall: assuming your dd continues riding at a different stable. I wouldn’t let her attend another lesson at the present one.

Edited May 16 by Innisfree

[livetoread]

I rode at stables for about seven years as a girl and teen, and rode sporadically for years after that at various places. Agreeing with the others, that's a big, huge, red flag, nope. The only time in my life I've been bucked off (or even bucked at all) was when I tried to ride a horse (named Buck) who was pastured in a field next to my sister's house. I climbed on without any saddle or tack, and he decided to have some fun. I fell off and he stepped on my calf and just barely nicked my head with his hoof. I was very lucky to walk away with just a massive bruise on my calf.

I've had horses sidle under me if they spook or are feeling frisky, and I rode one horse once at a stable who liked to rear when he thought it was time to go back to the barn. That horse was quickly pulled. Bucking and rearing are not normal trained horse behavior.

It's a tragedy waiting to happen. The owners are being extremely irresponsible. I'm so sorry your kiddo has formed bonds there, and I'm sure it will be hard to walk away, but that just isn't a safe situation.

[Terabith]

My kids rode for several years, and this is insane and absolutely should not be tolerated.  My first thought with the stickers is that it means the helmets aren't being replaced.  

There's a lot of areas I'm more liberal than many other parents on, but holy cow, there is absolutely no way in heck my kid would step foot there again.  It should be reported.  

It's massively unsafe for the kids, but also....poor horses.  

[rzberrymom]

Ok, it sounds like I definitely need to get her to a new stable. Thanks all! I really had no idea if I was being a nutty helicopter parent!

[Hannah]

6 hours ago, rzberrymom said:

Ok, it sounds like I definitely need to get her to a new stable. Thanks all! I really had no idea if I was being a nutty helicopter parent!

Without a doubt. The horses are poorly trained and with normalisation of being thrown, someone is going to get seriously hurt.  The instructor is also not teaching the riders how to ‘sit through’ the buck.

My kids have had lessons since eldest was 6 and both have competed to the highest level in showing, dressage, cross-country eventing, saddle-seat and showjumping. They have ridden school ponies, trained novice horses and highly strung off the track horses.  They have been bucked off, as have I (once), but it happens very very rarely. They ride less now, but at school it was four days a week.

[Pintosrock]

Experienced horse person here. My daughter once fell in a lesson (trotting over poles and lost her balance, totally not the pony's fault. She'd been riding less than a year.) Due to the farm's insurance, she was not allowed back on that day. We were required to get a new helmet before the next lesson and we were given a piece of paper with the signs of concussion to look out for. Very different from my day, when you were encouraged to "get back on the horse!" The instructor gave it to me with an air of "I really don't think it was a bad fall, but we're required to do this" attitude.

[Kanin]

12 hours ago, Happy2BaMom said:

And entirely unfair to the poor horses, who are engaging in abnormal behavior and communicating the only way they know how that what is happening there isn't working for them.  

 

That's a great point!

[Ottakee]

Leave the stable.  Not safe for riders or horses.  A horse that bucks should not be in a lesson program at all.  Sounds like they are using the students to help train the horses in an unsafe way.

in learning a student might fall off a horse….more of a slide off if they lose their balance but getting bucked off is NOT acceptable.