Are there *any* other people who have yet to give their kids tech toys/items?

[Colleen]

I guess each family has to decide what works for them (but sometimes it's hard being the oddball).

 

Yes, it is.

 

"Why am I such a misfit?

I am not just a nitwit.

You can't fire me I quit,

since I don't fit in."

 

:tongue_smilie:

[mazakaal]

We have very few 'tech' items here. My oldest has an i-Pod that he got for Christmas last year. We are always very frugal with gifts and had to pool his Christmas money from us, my parents, and my brother, to get it for him. My #2 has a cheap MP3 player that he really never uses. We don't have any game systems, but they are allowed to play games on the computer. If we could afford it, I would consider a Wii because it is somewhat interactive, and they're not sitting on their bum exercising only their fingers.

 

So you're not alone, as some other responses also said.

 

On a side note. We live in the UK, but are from the US originally. When we were visiting the States last year, someone commented that we had done a really good job acclamating the dc to the American culture before that trip. I was kind of taken aback, because we hadn't done anything to get them ready for the trip. The main difference probably was that we had recently gotten a new computer that allowed them to watch videos (youtube type stuff) so they knew about what the popular kid shows were. Our old computer was so slow that we could only really do basic e-mailing and basic web sites without too much graphics. I thought it really odd that she had thought that prior to that, my dc weren't very well adjusted to American stuff even though they are educated with American materials and have lots of typical American toys and games (Playmoblil, Lego, Monopoly). Their only 'lack' was with tech items and American tv. How sad that that would make it hard for them to fit in in the States. They would probably get along just fine with your dc, though. :D

[Terri NS]

Sigh.... my DH is a very techie person and works at home. Computers and programming are very important here. However, I've been through one teenager stuck to gaming machines (my step son) and wanted to do a few things different. We couldn't even go out to dinner without him stuck to a game boy. And I must say 20 years ago the games were so much tamer than what I see my nephew use today, but I was and am still concerned about the solitary time spent. So my own 2 girls were not permitted to have game systems until the Wii came out. I must say it was an excellent compromise. Now my step-son loved gaming, but my DH also encouraged him to spend time learning to write games and although he is not in the gaming industry he has very good employment in computer support for a big company. I think more time talking to people would have been a good skill to learn too though. I don't know if it's just his personality, the fact that he was an "only" living with parents that worked full time, or the solitary time gaming but his communication skills are definately lacking. I know this will hold him back from promotions. Fast forward 20 years, new Wii but the girls have each have their own laptops for school use and are allowed limited time outside of school hours. They can do amazing things, my eldest can program in HTML since she was 10, but there's not really any other gadget type stuff around. I am really trying to aim for balance. DD 1 got books, a drop spindle, clothes etc, DD 2 a sewing kit, books, a micropscope and they also got some items for creating Bento's

[Laura Corin]

 

I believe that another fundamental need kids have is space - or perhaps I mean time. They need to have unscheduled time, time to be bored, time to explore, to daydream, to integrate all their new learning and experiences and, as they get older, space to begin to learn how to structure their own time meaningfully while having an environment that sets them up to make good choices.

 

 

We achieve this by limiting use. The boys each saved up for hand-held games; we just gave them a Wii for Christmas. Each of the boys has two hours a week (at weekends) of electronic games time, and two hours a week of television. There is plenty of time in the rest of the week for creative boredom.

 

Laura

[Soph the vet]

I didn't read the other replies but we have not given any tech gifts yet and we've asked the grandparents to refrain from doing so as well for now. We gave games and crafty things this year.

[Tracey in TX]

 

It's not so much about intentionally promoting "simpler" times. I wouldn't even describe it as simpler, necessarily. I'm just doing what comes naturally to me, if that makes sense.

 

 

 

What do you mean? How would not owning a cell phone, iPod, laptop, and so on limit a 13 year old's future options? Help me better understand your perspective. Thanks!:)

Please note that I am saying his is correct, just another POV. We have a slew of tech gadgets (computers, laptops, camera, gaming systems, etc), yet I only use cell phone, computer, and cameras. Hardly impressive for the 21st century! As a result, my children are much more capable at learning software. DS(12) is actually designing software b/c of familiarization. The most interesting aspect of the whole techno issue is that DS (9) has found a place where his dyslexia is a benefit! He sees things in a multi-dimensional view whereas we typically view things in a 1 or 2 dimensional view. It's changed the way I teach DS. Any way he can work with new software (or just typing assignment on the computer) is a blessing.

 

There's no guarantee that we'll continue to be a high tech world, but it looks like that will probably be the case. Having our children brought up to be creative (old fashioned toys are definite plus!) and high tech world gives them more opportunities for future employment. That's a big concern in our home, as so many jobs--varying from corporate CEOs to factory jobs--are globally competitive. Our children won't just be seeking the same position as the kids in the USA, but all around the world. Shouldn't we attempt to prepare them in any way possible?

 

That being said...if it weren't for this concern, I really do dislike gaming devices! LOL But love the iPods and computers. ;)

 

 

ETA: DS (12) would skip all techno items to play outside. Climbing trees, sports, meandering aimlessly with other boys---anything to appreciate the outdoors. DS (9) has to be convinced to go outside. Games are too tempting. Then he has to be tempted to come inside. Outside is just too enjoyable. (The girls are another story altogether...)

 

Love the Ralphie song from Rudolph-the-Red-Nosed Reindeer. :)

Edited December 26, 2008 by Tracey in TX

[lmrich]

my neighbors don't have gameboys, ipods, nor a game system. Let me tell you, they are monsters when they visit or ride in the car with us. I have overheard them say - we should not have to take turns playing with your (device) because we don't have one at home and it isn't fair that we don't get to play.... etc. If you chose not to give your kids these items (and I applaud you for this), be aware if they are now hanging out at a neighbor's house wanting to play for hours.

 

By the way, I don't let the kids play with the electronic items, I totally back the mom up on her choice, but I was quite angry when the 12 year old daughter "forced" my 8 year old daughter to loan her the ipod for a weekend and her mother didn't make her return it.

[angela in ohio]

I think that kids need work, real, valuable work, far more than they need diversions.

 

 

You just summed up our family philosophy. :)

[ereks mom]

While giving simple gifts and allowing the children to appreciate the simpler times, are you short changing your child by not exposing him to the other possibilities? Not referring to now b/c obviously he's quite content, but are you limiting his future options because of lack of exposure?

 

 

When the time comes for your child to go to college, will he be able to compete, technologically speaking -- or even fit in, socially speaking -- with his peers? And I suspect that in the future, the job market will likely be particularly unfriendly to a no-tech employment-seeker.

[Laura R (FL)]

We did a little of both. When the girls were younger, there were no video games, cell phones, etc.

 

My dh bought our first video game when the oldest was about 11. It was a lot of family fun and no one was overly consumed. Two years ago they saved up their own money for their own DS systems and we never had a problem with those, either. My oldest has since sold hers. Last year we bought a Wii, and again, it is mostly used by the whoole family. Sometimes we go for weeks without using it at all.

 

My girls are really into music, so we started off with small Mp3 players and then bought them Zunes last Christmas. If they listen at home, they have to leave one ear bud out so they can interact if I call them. No tuning out the family!

 

We also bought one phone about a year or two ago for the girls to share. I thought it was a good idea since one would be backstage somewhere or someone would be at a sleepover. It has been handy. This year, my oldest got her own phone.

 

I can understand why someone wouldn't want the technology in their home and feel the disruption. I remember feeling like an outsider with out it, too. We've decided to strat phasing it in as our children grew older and more responsible. You know, sometimes they did feel a little "weird" when their freinds had phones, etc...but they never complained...ok, maybe a little.

[Nestof3]

Well, I guess if I were really against "tech" things, I wouldn't be typing on this forum right now. LOL

 

I guess I just don't see separating interests into tech-items vs non-tech items. I like to look at the whole person. Nathan, for example, loves his MP3 player b/c he gets to listen to hundreds of books while he swings or plays Playmobil. Then he rattles on about the animals he learned about or the most recent L. Frank Baum he listened to. He showed the most excitement over his Nature Journal, sketchbook, and bug vacuum. He also got teary-eyed when he thanked me for the Willow Tree "Mother and Son" figurine I bought him. He also loves playing Roller Coaster and Zoo Tycoon.

 

Ben, our youngest, loves playing online games. We decided after our eldest to not "do" gaming systems anymore b/c they are a money pit for us. They're always being upgraded and shopping for appropriate games is like browsing for a movie in Blockbuster -- in the end rarely finding anything that isn't sleazy or stupid but taking in a lot of junky images along the way. But, he loves silly www.miniclip games, Lego software, etc. BUT, he was thrilled about his new Lego, marble run, watercolor and acrylic paints, and Peanuts rubber stamps. He also loves his MP3 player b/c he gets to listen to his Veggie Tales and Rich Mullins wherever he is (usually in the van).

 

Our oldest uses his MP3 player most often when running but also when traveling. I cannot imagine him running without it. He likes computer games as well, but also enjoys reading history and politics books, modeling World War 2 figures/vehicles, martial arts, paintball. As soon as they're driving, they get a cell phone. What a great invention, in my opinion. He also started his own blog and has great computer skills which are often a necessity these days.

 

Right now, Nathan is watching his new present: The Blue Planet. There was a day (before I was born) that a television was considered new technology. I see a TV as a great tool, but like anything, we choose how it's used.

 

I do not like imbalance with anything that has a tendency to be addictive, but I don't see tech items as "bad."

 

Colleen,

 

I read your other posts here too now, and I wanted to add that my boys don't play video games with friends, and they completely love doing anything outside. When we visit my in-laws in the Shenandoah Valley area of VA, Aaron takes the little guys down to the creek where they love to build dams and such. Right now, Nnathan wants to go to the pond so he can fill in his Nature Journal he got for Christmas. They absolutely love playing with other boys who have eclectic interests. When the new boy next door moved in, Nathan said that all he talked about were video games and Spiderman (my boys don't really know who Spiderman is). They have found common ground, though, in throwing a football, playing in our backyard and riding their bikes out front.

 

Our oldest missed out on local friendships as well b/c all the boys down the street did was play video games we did not deem suitable. Thankfully, he now has friends for paintball and a young man down the street with whom he plays board games like Axis and Allies, Risk, and Settlers of Catan. He also has friends that play the piano and cello, so he'll take his penny whistle over and play along. I think my brother and our oldest, Aaron, are going to meet up with one of my brother's friends who's going to hike the entire App. trail this year during Spring Break to hike a portion of it. Aaron loves doing things like this along with skiiing, white water rafting, camping, etc., but we've had a hard time finding others with whom he can enjoy these things.

 

I know what you mean about having a hard time finding friendships for your boys. We can very much relate to that.

Edited December 26, 2008 by nestof3

[swellmomma]

We are a mixture, My older kids have handheld video games, but I refused to buy my 5 yr old one. I will not get one for him until he is 8 or older like the others. That said he does have a bob the builder plug and play video game he loves but has limited access to. We were given a wii by missionaries coming to meet me, otherwise we would have never gotten one. My older kids got several games or their ds's and the wii but at the same time they got lego sets, polly pockets, books, playmobil and boardgames so it wasn't a full techie xmas. The littles are too young for that sort of electronic stuff but they did get battery operated toys, ds5 got a deigo train set that uses batteries, baby girl got a mego blocks little red ridng hood set that also uses batteries. I consider those sorts of things high tech for little ones.

 

The kids don't have cell phones, I only have a prepaid one, we don't have ipods, though I bought them inexpensive mp3 players last year. We have a wii, and the big kids each have a ds, etc. I think we have a good balance of low tech and high tech so nothing is extreme in either direction.

[Tammyla]

We go for a balance here. Now, we (me) are never going to worry about purchasing the best or everything out there. My ds loves Lego's & playing outside as much as the wii, and couldn't care less about music ipods, etc. My dd doesn't care for anything computers or video games, but she loves music on her mp3 and uses the a lap top for many of her writing assignments.

 

We have regular old TVs, a basic computer,1 lap top, dh has a Trio (from work), but the rest of us share two pre-paid cell phones. This leaves us by many way behind the times, but we are happy. I have a sister, a f-i-l, and many friends who love all the latest and greatest tech things, that's just their thing. We also have some friends who don't own a TV, computer and still use a land-line. We love em all. Sometimes, I think they (techies and non-techs) believe I'm a nut.

 

Both my children love the outdoors, but it isn't always possible to go out here for long play times in the winter. Then they hit an age where playing isn't cool and simply hang out and enjoy teen things. I do find myself missing the good old days, knowing my ds will be changing in the not so distant future. He still lives in the moment and enjoys what ever he is doing without worrying about what other people are thinking.

Edited December 26, 2008 by Tammyla

[FO4UR]

My dc are young still, but we avoid video games, not necessarily everything "tech." We will keep limits on what they have and hope to teach them to use tech stuff as a tool -not a toy. We have seen the damaging affects of gaming addiction:glare:, and yet we live in a world where communication takes place via technology.

 

Will this item help or hinder their growth into adulthood?

[Amy loves Bud]

We achieve this by limiting use. The boys each saved up for hand-held games; we just gave them a Wii for Christmas. Each of the boys has two hours a week (at weekends) of electronic games time, and two hours a week of television. There is plenty of time in the rest of the week for creative boredom.

 

Laura

 

Agree. Our family got a Wii last year, and this year the kids got iPods (the little shuffles, not the big fancy wing-dings). The Wii was very enticing at first, but after a few weeks it wasn't necessary to even limit the time. They naturally put it away and head off to other activities, which around here usually means playing outside, though my daughter loves to play with her AG doll, and son loves his Legos.

 

I think the fact that we waited a bit to introduce the electronics, and that we don't have tv, has helped moderate their interest in them. They already had such strong interests elsewhere that there just isn't a ton of time for the other.

 

Anyway, I look at it as harmless fun, but I certainly don't think a child is missing out by not having them, either.

[HappyGrace]

while we don't do much with tech stuff now (ages 9 and 5), we won't feel bad as time goes on about adding things in such as cell phones, etc. I do think that eventually they'll need to be tech savvy in today's world. But you don't have to start when they're young with it-they can enjoy an old-fashioned childhood and it won't make them be "behind" technologically. I will say that I can't see us ever getting into gaming though since I've seen firsthand how it can become addictive and negative.

[Lisa R.]

mostly girls.

 

In those cases, it's easy to avoid most electronics. It's unlikely that it would be an issue at all, in fact. It's very easy to say that you've avoided electronics when the draw isn't that strong.

 

The gaming industry has figured out long ago that boys play more video games than girls. Many girls have not even touched a video game and have no plans to. Cell phone and iPods are different. My post focuses on video games.

 

Having teen or pre-teen boys and not having virtually any electronics that they can use is, well, very unusual in this present time. Right or wrong, kids that don't have these will be on the outside, so to speak. Have you been around teen boys lately? Much of the talk centers around computer games. While I wish they were discussing the latest news in the Middle Easts crisis, realistically, this isn't happening.

 

Growing up when we did, I sometimes find it hard to relate to the draw of electronics for these kids. Here's how to compare, I think. Imagine growing up without a television or going to the movies. Some on this board did. I'm sure they read more, played more, imagined more. However, there is a whole culture out there that they missed out on. When people discussed movies or a television show, they would be lost. Is this the end of the world? Of course not. But, they will be an oddball. They won't be able to participate in many conversations. The same is true with kids that don't play video games. Some people don't mind if there kids are different from other kids. If this is the case, maybe you don't want any video games.

 

Here's the truth. If you have a game console in your house, more kids will want to come over. If your kids have more exposure to video games, they'll have more to talk about with their peers.

 

As has already been noted, having electronics doesn't have to equate to having kids who can't socialize properly. If used in moderation, they are a pleasant pastime. Kind of like this message board is to me...

[dangermom]

I really do not think that a kid who doesn't have a lot of tech items as a child will be 'behind' as an adult. My husband is a software engineer who owns his own company (he designs radiation therapy dosage calculation software), and most of my family members are techies of one sort or another. Although we all use computers all the time, as kids we had nothing. My mom wouldn't let us have video games, and my husband's family couldn't afford them (he eventually bought an Atari 800 with his own earnings and started programming on it). It's pretty easy to 'catch up.'

 

We aren't against computers in our home (ha!), but we have never wanted to encourage computer use in our children either. They get plenty of exposure to technology without encouragement, just by living. My husband does plan on teaching basic programming when they're a little older. But IME, lots of video game play does nothing to really prepare a person for working in computer science--though it does contribute to many flunked CS classes in college and many dreams of making a living as a video game tester. ;)

 

My 8yo daughter is a very social kid and does sometimes play on her friends' DS or whatever at their houses. More often, however, she comes home disappointed because the friend wanted to play video games or watch a movie instead of really playing together, which is what she wants to do. She's learning to assert herself a little and say "Let's play for a while first and then watch a movie" after too many days having to leave before the movie is even over.

 

My 5yo is irresistibly attracted to anything with a screen, so I worry a bit about her. Luckily most of her friends are too active to want to play video games much!

 

--How 'bout getting a foosball table and pool table to attract those older boys? Those have always been big attractions and they're still unusual...

[Matryoshka]

When the time comes for your child to go to college, will he be able to compete, technologically speaking -- or even fit in, socially speaking -- with his peers? And I suspect that in the future, the job market will likely be particularly unfriendly to a no-tech employment-seeker.

 

I think you are conflating useful computer skills with gizmos. :001_smile:

 

Programming with object-oriented languages might be a fairly complex (and useful) skill, but this thread isn't talking about useful computer skills like typing or programming or graphic design or even using the internet, all of which I let my kids play around with on our family computer (and will probably teach them more formally at some point) - it's about tech toys.

 

I really can't think how computer games or game boys or ipods or blackberries enhance anyone's ability to find a job later, unless they're applying for a job in game design. All of those things can be learned in pretty much a day (or an hour) by even the most tech-averse person. Okay, you can't get to level whatever in them in a day, but will that really ever affect someone's job prospects (what? you can only get to level 2 in "Popular Game??!" My wizard can smite your elf. Look elsewhere for employment!)

 

I really don't mind if anyone buys their kids these things, I just think it's a fallacious argument to say that anyone will be "harmed" later by not having them.

 

And even if I don't own a Wii, it doesn't mean my kids haven't played it at other's homes and haven't already made a couple of Miis for themselves. And my kids can use a cellphone and a digital camera just fine, they just don't own their own (although that could change when they're older teens - I think most of the kids being posted about are not that old yet).

 

I don't think anyone who posts here regularly (and therefore owns and uses a computer) is going to end up with a kid with the tech skills of an Amish farmer. :D

[Joanne]

You know you are making choices that are counter cultural. As you wrote, you are comfortable with your decisions. And you knew coming here, you'd find like minded moms (and maybe a sprinkle of Dads).

 

We've made a different choice here; we are (by the standards in this thread) pretty tech heavy.

 

However, we are not tech-dependent. I've seen kids in my daycare, after school care and now my YMCA job that are quite screen/tech dependent, their creative play quashed, their desire to run, play outside and *be* has diminished unnaturally.

 

But...gosh and golly. Are we really completely alone in just enjoying the "simple" stuff and playing outside?

 

My family, even with the available technology, enjoys this, but not exclusive of technology. I am very much a "go outside and play" mom. Indeed, I am a "let's go outside to the playground" YMCA Site Director.

 

For *me*, it's been important that my kids are not "counter cultural" in an aggregate of ways; it's been a value I've embraced to allow my kids to be in today's culture with boundaries we've discussed.

[Crissy]

While giving simple gifts and allowing the children to appreciate the simpler times, are you short changing your child by not exposing him to the other possibilities? Not referring to now b/c obviously he's quite content, but are you limiting his future options because of lack of exposure?

 

 

 

I don't see the lack of gadgets in a home as being a disadvantage now or in a young person's future. Computers, devices and software are so user-friendly these days, I've not come across many people who take much time at all to learn a piece of equipment or a software application.

 

Our business is dependent on technology and I have, over the years, had a number of volunteers work with me. I have taught all manner of folks how to use our computers, software and printers with nary a problem. Some folks (older ones, mainly) haven't so much as sent an email in their lifetimes and they always seem to get it.

[Crissy]

Are we really completely alone in just enjoying the "simple" stuff and playing outside?

 

Even as much technology as we have around here (the boys each have a Nintendo DS, and a computer. Jeffrey has a cell phone and does the majority of his school work on his laptop), the 'simple stuff' plays a large part in our lives.

Board games as well as dice and card games are a staple around here, and my guys spend a significant portion of their week outside riding bikes, wrestling, playing their own two-man version of baseball or football.

 

I think we've found a good balance. The only thing we are really lacking is more space. I'd love a bigger yard or a closer wooded area where they could really explore and climb.

[astrid]

No gaming systems, no ipods, no other kinds of electronic gadgets.

 

Of course, it probably helps that she's a girl and an only child. She wanted a Wii this year, but I was really hesitant to make the leap. We worried that it would be fun for a couple of weeks and then we'd all lose interest.

 

Astrid

[TraceyS/FL]

Well, mine are enjoying a rousing game of pretend horses (and they stopped playing the wii to play) that they got for Christmas. It was our first Playmobil for some reason and it's a huge hit.

 

They were playing horses before lunch while listening to music on their iPods, and now the 4yo wants to go outside and play.

 

The only one that has huge balance issues is the oldest - but she has ALWAYS been screen obsessed.

 

BUT, everyone does what works for your own family!!

[MomOfOneFunOne]

On the subject of friends . . . I really want to approach this delicately. I don't want to imply that all children are like the ones we've encountered by any means. I am sure that tech-heavy kids can be and in many cases are delightful people. I will just say this: I have tried to encourage a couple of friendships with ppl I considered tech-heavy and I did not like it at all. I had tried out these friendships b/c our daughters were of similar age and lived w/in a decent driving range. I ended up being so disgusted by a couple of things.

1) so much time spent with the screens and not playing together.

2) and more importantly, so many things related to the games I found objectionable (immodest dress, attitude, language, violence, objectification, et c.)

 

there is an analogy about a frog and water. Put the frog in the cool water and set it on the flame. the frog will stay in the water till it is boiled to death. Put the frog in hot water and he'll hop out to save his life. I truly, truly believe that this applies to what we expose ourselves to. When we don't view violent, sexy images and then happen to see some, we're outraged. However, when we see a little something here and there and well, that wasn't bad so . . . it eventually gets ratcheted up till we dont' even notice. I see this in the world around me often . . . with children.

 

Frankly, I want my daughter to have friends and the Lord knows she wants them. However, I just don't think it's worth it to try to establish relationships with tech-junkies ( I'm sure I'm not speaking to anyone here or anyone who uses technogadgets moderately).

 

We try to find relationships with people who want to play, create, imagine, run, get wet, get muddy, meet at the park, et c. We certainly have to seek out each other's company but we're finding each other and I will tell you, it's worth it.

 

When my daughter was in a play at the community theater recently, the kids pretty quickly divided into two groups: Withs and Withouts. At first the Withouts would gaze over shoulders in some kind of trance but pretty soon they began drifting off to find something to do. After that, they played and had fun enjoying each other's company. They drew, made a villiage under the tables and ironing board, played games, and formed relationships. When it started, I began to feel the gap and wondered what impact it would have. After seeing the whole thing through, I'm happy.

 

For those who say that if you don't have all the bells and whistles no one will come over: do you really just want to invite the ones who only like you for your stuff? I do, I really do, understand wanting to be the fun house so everyone will want to come to you (where you can keep an eye on what's going on) and I will strive to be the mom of that house. I want to be the fun place to go so that kids will want to come here *but* not at just any price. If they only want to come over for stuff, I'm pretty sure we can live without them. Still, I can understand the desire. I want to make our home inviting, too. On the other hand, we invite people who are interested in us, not our stuff.

 

My daughter has 3 sets of friends who firmly fall into the category of friends for friends sake and who, like us, eschew a tech-heavy life. I hope that number grows and I hope we can get together more in the future. I pray I never get to the point that I start going broke on game-boys, ps whatevers, wiis, et c just so someone will come over and not play with my daughter.

 

Having said that, we are not NO tech. We have a computer and a laptop. My daughter has access to both: once in a while she watches a show from the EWTN site, plays a game, et c. or she uses them to type her papers, do research, et c. With the exception of wanting to invite some friends over for a movie night, tech and interpersonal relationships do not mix. I cannot at this time imagine at what point I will think that an internet community like this one would be appropriate for her. Right now, I'm thinking it's strictly for adults but I don't know.

 

So, I do hope I haven't stepped on any toes. I really feel what I've said is true and yet, I understand that there is room for others to disagree.

 

Ohmygoodness! I cannot believe I forgot to mention librivox and other audio books! We definately do that. We LOVE to listen to audio books while sewing, cleaning, et c.

[dangermom]

:iagree: with MomOfOneFunOne (but that name is really hard to type). :D

[MomOfOneFunOne]

:iagree: with MomOfOneFunOne (but that name is really hard to type). :D

 

I never thought of that when I was trying to think of one. How 'bout moofo for short!

 

Sorry, Maybe I should rethink that.

[Colleen]

I think you are conflating useful computer skills with gizmos. :001_smile:

 

Programming with object-oriented languages might be a fairly complex (and useful) skill, but this thread isn't talking about useful computer skills like typing or programming or graphic design or even using the internet, all of which I let my kids play around with on our family computer (and will probably teach them more formally at some point) - it's about tech toys.

 

I really can't think how computer games or game boys or ipods or blackberries enhance anyone's ability to find a job later, unless they're applying for a job in game design. All of those things can be learned in pretty much a day (or an hour) by even the most tech-averse person. Okay, you can't get to level whatever in them in a day, but will that really ever affect someone's job prospects (what? you can only get to level 2 in "Popular Game??!" My wizard can smite your elf. Look elsewhere for employment!)

 

I really don't mind if anyone buys their kids these things, I just think it's a fallacious argument to say that anyone will be "harmed" later by not having them.

 

And even if I don't own a Wii, it doesn't mean my kids haven't played it at other's homes and haven't already made a couple of Miis for themselves. And my kids can use a cellphone and a digital camera just fine, they just don't own their own (although that could change when they're older teens - I think most of the kids being posted about are not that old yet).

 

:iagree: Well said. The last reason I'd buy my child an iPod/cell phone/gaming system/whatever is because I believed it'd help him gain future employment ~ because that argument (justification) is just plain wrong, imo.

[Laura R (FL)]

Wow, I'm just speechless...or maybe not because I'm here typing! I think the thing to avoid is not a matter of techno or no techno, but the attitude of elitism that goes with either decision.

 

I would hope my friends would choose me based on whether I was good company, not if I had whatever game or didn't have a game (or Internet access). Maybe it is different with girls, but when mine have friends over, they don't play video games. They do like to use the computer to hang out, laugh and make strange graphic videos of each other. It reminds me of when I was a kid growing up and we sat around listening to records and playing with Polaroid cameras. Oh, and they will watch a parent approved mpvie if it has been approved by all families. If it is ever an issue, the TV just stays off.

 

No one in my family uses profanity (no, not even my kids behind my back...they have confessed to have a permanent mom filter in their brains, LOL) or dresses immodestly, yet we use tech gadgets. I don't think we're on a downward spiral to hell...yet...maybe if my dh gets his blu-ray, lol. OK, a little tongue-in-cheek.

[Colleen]

I don't see the lack of gadgets in a home as being a disadvantage now or in a young person's future. Computers, devices and software are so user-friendly these days, I've not come across many people who take much time at all to learn a piece of equipment or a software application.

 

Our business is dependent on technology and I have, over the years, had a number of volunteers work with me. I have taught all manner of folks how to use our computers, software and printers with nary a problem. Some folks (older ones, mainly) haven't so much as sent an email in their lifetimes and they always seem to get it.

 

Exactly. The fact that a child listens to an iPod, plays games on a hand-held device, etc, is not going to put him/her miles "ahead" in terms of potential future employment.

[laughing lioness]

We don't own much tech stuff and never have. We do own a nice computer. My older kids are amazingly tech savvy, despite that. They are in no way left behind. They readily and skillfully understand how to use complicated techno-gizmos whenever they are confronted with them.

We don't have lots of techno-stuff at home for a couple of reasons. My dh and I (he is a psychologist) see that people are generally getting more techno-savvy and more relationally...inept. Realtional skills, coming from our Hebraic pov, is very important to us, value-wise.

Last week at play practice a kid brought a couple of game boys (the newest version-whatever they are called). Once they were turned on it was almost impossible to get or to keep those 5 kids attention. They were not interacting with each other or with me - just the teeny, tiny screen. Unlike the week before when they had all been involved in a board game. They were all laughing and joking with each other, stood up when called, answered in a timely manner, etc. What a difference!

[Colleen]

I do, I really do, understand wanting to be the fun house so everyone will want to come to you (where you can keep an eye on what's going on) and I will strive to be the mom of that house. I want to be the fun place to go so that kids will want to come here *but* not at just any price. If they only want to come over for stuff, I'm pretty sure we can live without them. Still, I can understand the desire. I want to make our home inviting, too. On the other hand, we invite people who are interested in us, not our stuff.

 

Indeed. My boys are fortunate (I think) in that they have a good deal of space outdoors. The woods and river are just plain fun to them. Then, too, we have a cavernous rec room attached to the garage with plenty of space to run around and scream and be crazy ~ although it's not heated well, so at this time of year even running around, one gets pretty darn cold out there. The rec room holds an air hockey table, a foosball table, and eventually we'll likely add a pool and/or ping pong table. I would like, as my boys get older, to also have it be a place where they can hang out more and more comfortably. The place to play the guitar w/ amp, to eat snacks and maybe watch a movie. Just a fun place to hang out! And of course I hope they have friends who want to join them out there. But I'm certainly not going to buy things that go against my beliefs (for lack of a better word), merely because other kids like those things. I'm not going to tailor our home to other people's interests. I honestly believe if a boy can't find thing to talk about and play beyond video games, he has a problem.

 

 

I really feel what I've said is true and yet, I understand that there is room for others to disagree.

 

You expressed yourself well. Thank you!

[LMA]

I do not have any high tech stuff for myself - just a prepaid Tracfone for emergencies on the road and I don't even know the number of that phone! We have a computer in the house and I have a Mac laptop for my own work. We don't have game systems. We have a few computer games but no one is interested in them. I got an iPod nano free with my laptop but it is still sitting in the closet. We have no use for the nano. I have no desire to download songs/books into it and neither does my husband. My kids have seen it and none of them are interested in it either. We have a nice digital camera that my husband got free with points from the cc program, but that's it. There was no "decision" made to be with/without high tech items. We base our decisions on what we need at the moment. Yes, it would be very easy to want all those tech items (they are luxury items for the most part), but we really have no need for them and we only buy on a as needed basis. I would look at these tech items in terms of whether or not they help your everyday life. If they help you, then more power to you. If you don't need them, then I wouldn't worry about it.

[LMA]

What it boils down to is this: I'm not playing the consumerist/materialist game. I'm. Just. Not.

 

:iagree:

[TwinMominTX]

I don't really understand the question. Do you think that kids don't want to go over to your house to play because you don't have "tech" things?

My kids are younger than many of yours, but I've never heard them use the "stuff" other kids have as a way to determine who they want to play with or where they want to play. Are you sure there isn't some other reason that kids don't want to hang out at your house?

 

Here is a typical order of "playdates" at our house...

 

kids come over and run around outside

kids come inside and raid the fridge

kids run outside and swing and jump on the trampoline

kids come inside and play a game of Wii bowling

kids raid the pantry

kids run outside and play with the donkey

kids come inside and play with Legos

kids run outside and look for dead animal bones

kids come inside and raid the fridge for drinks

kids go downstairs and do some messy craft project

kids go outside and ride skateboards and bikes

kids come inside and log on to Webkinz to show off new acquisitions

etc.

etc.

etc.

 

Some of it includes playing with "tech" sort of stuff and some of it doesn't. We have every gadet imaginable and I just don't see it as part of the equation when kids are over. It is treated as just another thing to do - they're all fine either way.

 

I've found that snacks and drinks are a bigger deal for kids than any game or lack of game we have.

[Jumping In Puddles]

Well, obviously you're not alone but we are not completely tech free here and I'm not completely against tech toys.

 

My kids love board games, old fashioned card games and playing outside. :)

 

My dd has a little digital camera that she really loves. If I recall correctly that is the only toy she has that needs batteries.

 

My ds got an electric screw driver (real one) for his tool box. He really loves it.

He does have a remote control 4X4 truck that he rarely uses. His Hess truck has batteries too.

 

The kids got an electronic globe for Christmas... that was a tough one for me because it is a Made In China, plastic, battery toy and my kids have precious few of those but we'll see how it goes. I don't expect they will suddenly stop wanting to play outside and color and all that other low tech stuff.

 

I think when they are older (maybe 10- 12ish?) they will get iPods if they want them. I love my iPod and when I was about 10 I very much loved listening to my walkman!

[katalaska]

Dh got a used hand-me-down ipod mini last year from a friend at work. The kids kept "borrowing" it (and fighting over whose turn it was to borrow it) to listen to music. So dh suggested this year that they each get their own used secondhand cheap old-model ipods. He gave me a dollar limit and the job of locating (through eBay and/or craigslist) ipod minis for the kids for Christmas...so I did.

 

The kids do not have their own computers... We have no video games, no gameboys, no playstations, xboxes, or wiis. Well, we do have my 20-year-old black-and-white Gameboy (which may or may not work...who knows...it's been stored in the closet for 15+ years). The kids do not have cell phones (we do...mostly for dh to be able to call from work wherever he is in the country and for me to be able to talk to my sil because it's the cheapest way to do so).

 

The kids got Webkinz last year from my sister but to them they are just stuffed animals...they do nothing on the computer with them.

 

My oldest got a digital camera (again, a cheaper, older, used model purchased on eBay with a self-imposed dollar limit) for her 10th birthday. It is MUCH cheaper than a regular film camera and a good outlet. She enjoys photography and "posing" her pets and siblings.

 

The kids use our family computer(s) are used for typing games or the "paint" program...

 

Really until this year we were pretty technology-free. We have one television set, one VCR, one DVD player. We don't have cable television (actually, we get no reception of any kind) so the only television watching is of tapes or DVDs we own or borrow from the library.

 

The ipods were our first foray into the world of techno-gadgets... The kids are excited to be able to have their music or stories in their rooms or the playroom. (We got clearanced ipod speakers for them).

 

Other than the ipods, my kids got books, alarm clocks, sketchbooks, $1 Slinky toys from Target, Rubik's Ice Cubes, chocolate candy, straps for their swimming goggles, DVDs (movies for the family), and a few small stuffed animals for Christmas. They didn't even get new pajamas this year (well, my son got a "new" hand-me-down pair). They also got supplies for their pets. As "the kids" they received Wedgits.

 

So I guess we "straddle" the world of "no techno-toys or gadgets" and the world of "techno-toys and gadgets."

[Demal]

We have Nintendo ds and the Wii and we love them. Also books, board games, construction toys, art supplies, lots of outdoor space. Everything in moderation.

 

The rec room holds an air hockey table, a foosball table, and eventually we'll likely add a pool and/or ping pong table.

 

We have some very sporty, video game-less friends. My kids are pretty laid-back and, unfortunately, have poor physical coordination (they take after their parents). When we visit these friends, my kids usually end up playing with the dogs because losing all the time isn't really that much fun.

[ereks mom]

Having teen or pre-teen boys and not having virtually any electronics that they can use is, well, very unusual in this present time. Right or wrong, kids that don't have these will be on the outside, so to speak. Have you been around teen boys lately? Much of the talk centers around computer games. While I wish they were discussing the latest news in the Middle Easts crisis, realistically, this isn't happening.

 

As the mother of an 18yo son, I can confirm what you're saying here. Mind you, we have never bought gaming systems, but ER has saved his own money and bought them himself. He has owned Super Nintendo, Nintendo 64, and now a Game Cube. He would like to have a Playstation, an XBox or a Wii, but he would have to buy it himself, and right now (as a freshman in college), he doesn't have the money to buy one nor the time to play it if he did. ;)

 

As has already been noted, having electronics doesn't have to equate to having kids who can't socialize properly. If used in moderation, they are a pleasant pastime. Kind of like this message board is to me...

 

:iagree:

[bumbledeb]

We are fully 'teched up': mobile phones, iPods, DS's, PS1, 2 and 3, Wii, Gamecube, PC, Mac, and, to be honest, I don't know what else. We don't set any limits on usage. At the moment, Guitar Hero is being played daily and is, I think, the biggest hit yet.

 

But, when friends come over, they don't typically play the electronic games, since they all have them anyway. They usually go outside and play - into the woods, down to the river, running about the fields playing, often games inspired by movies or games or books they are all familiar with or sometimes games of their own making.

 

I grew up without any tech whatsoever, even TV or radio, but I know that my 16 year old is more mature and more well-read than I was at that age. The tech stuff has added to their overall experience of life and, at least in my opinion, has taken nothing away.

[Janice in NJ]

Ds (11) has an ipod touch that he bought three days before Christmas. He and his older brother garbage-picked two snowblowers last year. Older ds fixed them; younger ds helped. Now they have a snowblowing business. They made $380 last weekend; it snowed twice - once on Friday and then again on Sunday. On Monday we took him to buy his toy - using money that he had saved from last year's work and his recent earnings.

 

But he'll put it to good use. He takes piano and violin lessons. Both lessons are recorded with a Zoom MP3 recorder. As soon as he gets home he uploads the MP3's to his ipod (He had a nano that he gave to his older brother when he got his new toy on Monday.) He also purchases copies of his newly assigned music from iTunes when he gets home. Then he starts listening - before he starts the pieces. :001_smile: When he goes to bed that night rather than read, he will listen to portions of his lesson while studying the music. This really helps! Time spent working away from the instrument means a lot; and he really enjoys it. Win-win!

 

He also MOVES faster this way. His teachers are not cheap. :001_smile: The are worth it! We use the technology to increase the amount of instruction-time that he gets with them; we use the technology to gain as much ground as we can each week. The technology helps! A Lot! :001_smile:

 

Dd's ipod - same thing. Voice lesson recorded every week. She uses her ipod to work on her exercises and pieces everyday in her room - only she's not alone; her teacher is right there with her.

 

My ipod? It's FULL of Teaching Company lectures on video. Let's just say that it gets a LOT of use! I actually look forward to jumping in the car to go pick up kids; working out; etc.

 

Dh's ipod? He's currently working through a Rigoletto opera. Opera is on the ipod; the score is in his bag. Fun on the train when he's not working

 

We use our technology. :001_smile:

 

Peace,

Janice

 

Enjoy your little people

Enjoy your journey

[Rose in BC]

When the time comes for your child to go to college, will he be able to compete, technologically speaking -- or even fit in, socially speaking -- with his peers? And I suspect that in the future, the job market will likely be particularly unfriendly to a no-tech employment-seeker.

 

Our office got our first desk top computer a year after I began working. Prior to that we used an old fashioned typewriter (yes it was electric. I'm not that old!) And CARBON PAPER in between the layers for copies. (Okay I sound very old. I don't think my kids even know what carbon paper is!)

 

All this to say, at approx. 21 yrs of age I was exposed to the computer for the first time and had NO PROBLEM catching the technology. I think it's a stretch to worry that kids who aren't exposed to video games, etc. will be technologically inept. My kids, even with limited exposure, still are well aware of all that's out there. They only have to go to their friend's houses once to be exposed. And, like the other posters have said, I'm not preventing them from learning typing skills or on-line search skills, etc.

 

FYI, I'm 43 and technologically pretty savvy. I can download onto my mp3 player. I can use word processing/ spreadsheet programs, etc AND I can set the time on my VCR (Oops . . . my DVD).

[Tracey in TX]

:iagree:

It's all about preferences and priorities. We each value different things in life while trying to raise our children in the best way we know how. That's what makes this world interesting. Same goal, different avenue.

 

Like I state previously, not claiming being a totally plugged-in family is the only way. It's just our path to raising well rounded, successful kiddos...and hopefully having an enjoyable time doing so.

 

Clearly each of us is a bit of a techno family or we wouldn't be on this forum! :)

 

Happy New Year

[TwinMominTX]

This is us minus the Guitar Hero (although we wish we had it around here)!

[Colleen]

It's all about preferences and priorities. We each value different things in life while trying to raise our children in the best way we know how. That's what makes this world interesting. Same goal, different avenue.

 

Yep, people have different preferences, different priorities ~ and that's a good thing. I agree with you. And that's why I didn't post originally to debate the merits of my way or your way or any other way. Rather, I was genuinely interested in hearing from others who shy away from the tech stuff. I was looking for company from those who do share some of our preferences on this particular topic.:)

[Crissy]

Having teen or pre-teen boys and not having virtually any electronics that they can use is, well, very unusual in this present time. Right or wrong, kids that don't have these will be on the outside, so to speak. Have you been around teen boys lately? Much of the talk centers around computer games. While I wish they were discussing the latest news in the Middle Easts crisis, realistically, this isn't happening.

 

 

 

I have no doubt that this is true in some circles, but I don't find it to be the case with the teen boys I know.

 

Yesterday the topics of conversation in our boys' group (7 cousins, ages 10-18) centered around snowboarding, skiing, soccer, acting, good books, favorite movies, and a variety of other things.

Of course, as with possible conversation about shooter games or other things, my boys could have felt left out because they don't snowboard or play soccer, but I find that young boys can have great conversations especially when they don't have everything in common.

Edited December 26, 2008 by Crissy

[Colleen]

Have you been around teen boys lately? Much of the talk centers around computer games.

 

Yes, I have been, but that's not been my experience. I don't know that I've ever heard kids of any age discussing computer games at any length. I'd say sports ~ ones they play and/or watch ~ are the primary topic, followed by music and movies.

 

Growing up when we did, I sometimes find it hard to relate to the draw of electronics for these kids. Here's how to compare, I think. Imagine growing up without a television or going to the movies. Some on this board did. I'm sure they read more, played more, imagined more. However, there is a whole culture out there that they missed out on. When people discussed movies or a television show, they would be lost. Is this the end of the world? Of course not. But, they will be an oddball. They won't be able to participate in many conversations. The same is true with kids that don't play video games.

 

Mmm, no, I don't entirely agree with your analogy.

 

Some people don't mind if there kids are different from other kids. If this is the case, maybe you don't want any video games.

 

Well, I certainly don't mind if my kids are "different" from other kids. If I did, I wouldn't be homeschooling them because that right there puts them in a different camp.

 

Here's the truth. If you have a game console in your house, more kids will want to come over.

 

Yes, that may very well be true, though I'd of course never buy something based on the hope that it would make our home a destination spot.

 

If your kids have more exposure to video games, they'll have more to talk about with their peers.

 

More? Mmm, I don't know about that. Depends on the peers, I suppose. As I said above, I've not noticed computer games are a primary talking point among teen boys.

[Janice in NJ]

Oh .... It's not about the technology. Didn't catch that.

 

My kids are OFTEN the odd-balls. They can't figure out why anyway would ignore the people that they are WITH in order to send nothing messages via a phone key-pad to people that they are not with - all evening long. My daughter had the opportunity to "hang-out" with 6 teens during a Christmas party. NONE of them would talk to her or even each other. They actually sat in the one girl's room texting each other... for hours - in silence. My daughter left and came to hang out with the adults. We were talking and laughing and singing Christmas carols. So she hung out with the adults. Nothing else to do.... I have other dear friends who have referred to her as a "Tom Boy" because she likes to DO things. It's funny actually; she's really quite feminine. She just doesn't enjoy sitting around texting people.

 

Kids having friends.... no advice there. My boys - especially my oldest - find it hard to make friends who want to DO things together too. So no advice - just commiseration. :001_smile:

 

Peace,

Janice

 

Enjoy your little people

Enjoy your journey

[Snickerdoodle]

Once I was in a library after we moved back to the US and was a bit shocked at the 15 or more computers right in the middle of the children's section and that the place was loaded with noisy kids playing games on the computers. My 4yo was drawn to watch them play while I was looking at books.

 

Another mother came looking at books in the aisle that I was in and I gently lamented that I didn't know (or like the fact that) the library was turning into an internet cafe for gamers.

 

I told her that we didn't have games at home. And she said that she bought every different kind of gaming system. She said her boys LOVED them and how else to keep them quiet in the house?

 

It just struck me very odd since I didn't know the goal of parenting was to keep your kids quiet in the house.

 

I could go on about it, but I think previous posters have made many of the points I would have.

[lauranc]

My oldest son will be 14 next week (I also have a 9 yr old DD and 8 yr old DS). We don't have a t.v., so no video games here. My mother has purchased mp3 players for all 3 kids, but that's about the extent of their electronic 'stuff'. My 14 yr old likes reading, playing board games, being outside--- We're a fairly low-tech, natural-living family. So no... I don't think you're alone!

 

--Laura