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Drama Llama

By Drama Llama,
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  • Drama Llama changed the title to Can I whine? (please don't quote)
freesia

freesia

Posted
Posted

Oh, that is sad and frustrating. I wish I could fix it for you. I have recently realized that I need to step out if the box and reimagine what it looks like for my kids to be connected to my mom. Maybe after the first flush of frustration is done, you can work out some rhythms. The would probably need to be more scheduled than organic—but still would have value for the boys. Hockey games at your house? Could FIL be the supervisor of garage puttering? Dinner with the men at your house once a week?

Im just throwing those out there—but of course it’s not what you imagined and I am so sad for your bc of all you’ve gone through and how she always seems to mess things up for you. I hope that the family can heal. Maybe this will edge her toward getting some help. Maybe it will be better for her little ones. 

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mommyoffive

mommyoffive

Posted
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3 minutes ago, hjffkj said:

Hugs, that really sucks.  The only solution to that is to have fil and Pop over at your house for dinner and to spend time with the boys as much as they are able.  I'm sure they understand why you and the boys can not be around sil

Yes, could this work?  Just always have them at your place instead?  

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Clemsondana

Clemsondana

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That stinks.  Once everybody is settled, maybe you can figure out a schedule for when she and her kids are elsewhere?  It won't be impromptu, but maybe could be part of an established routine once she is set in her routine?  And I agree that they can sometimes come to your house.  This may not be permanent, either - perhaps she reconciles, or decides that she'd rather move in with a roommate.  But I hate that you're dealing with this, too.  

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Wishes

Wishes

Posted
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took me a few times reviewing past info. SIL is related to your FIL and Pop, so she will be there all the time? I was thinking it was BIL related to FIL and Pop. Sorry, it sounds like your FIL is going to have hands full with both of his adult children having mental health crises. But definitely invite them over. Maybe wait for awhile before trying to move? SiL might decide she needs to leave the area too.

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catz

catz

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Ugh, can I just say I am not surprised at all that their marriage isn't going well given what we've heard about that family's dynamic and situation.  But I am really sorry that bumps you and your kids.  Again.  I hope you can find ways to connect to the father figures perhaps in your space without her involved.  Crossing fingers with your spouse away, there isn't as much of a reason to walk a fine line with someone who doesn't seem reasonable in any way.  

 

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Terabith

Terabith

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, catz said:

Ugh, can I just say I am not surprised at all that their marriage isn't going well given what we've heard about that family's dynamic and situation.  But I am really sorry that bumps you and your kids.  Again.  I hope you can find ways to connect to the father figures perhaps in your space without her involved.  Crossing fingers with your spouse away, there isn't as much of a reason to walk a fine line with someone who doesn't seem reasonable in any way.  

 

I'm pretty sure this SIL is B&H's husband's sister.  So since they're involved in the life of her FIL and Pop, and the cousins are friends, their lives are still pretty intertwined.  

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catz

catz

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, Terabith said:

I'm pretty sure this SIL is B&H's husband's sister.  So since they're involved in the life of her FIL and Pop, and the cousins are friends, their lives are still pretty intertwined.  

Yes certainly.  But there seemed to be particular need to keep the peace with the absent parent constantly communicating and involved with all parties day to day.  Hoping B&H can find new and renewed ways to to step forward with the slightly new and different dynamics that may allow for better boundaries.    

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Jaybee

Jaybee

Posted
Posted

Oh @BandH, I'm sorry. Of course you are frustrated and sad! It finally looked like things were moving in a more stable direction, and this complicates it and adds stress to what you thought was going to be a less stressful situation. I hope that things smooth out quickly somehow, and that you and your boys are able to enjoy the elders' company without the stress. 

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  • Drama Llama changed the title to Do you like my new name?
Drama Llama

Drama Llama

Posted
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14 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

I think I would probably brace myself for the fact that she will throw a hissy fit about being excluded from anything and your relatives will be put in the horrible situation of having to choose. 

And I hate that for you and your kids.

Nah, I wouldn't do that to them. 

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freesia

freesia

Posted
Posted

Everyone needs a safe place to share. You don’t have a lot of those places. It’s ok. I’ve never thought if you as a whiner or over dramatic. If anything you can be very pragmatic 😃 It’s the people around you who supply the drama and you go around trying to set up boundaries to calm it all down. Sometimes things are just hard. It’s ok to let out your emotions about it. Especially to we who “know” the history. Sheesh, some people are the ever ready bunnies of messing up good things for other people. SIL takes the cake for sure. I’d pit her against my person any day. Fortunately my person is finally out if our lives. May it be so for you and may you have patience and fortitude to grit your way through until it happens. 

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Corraleno

Corraleno

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Posted

Love the cute avatar, but you are the opposite of a drama llama! I'm so sorry for all the drama and crap that gets thrown at you, you have been almost supernaturally calm and patient and non-dramatic in dealing with way more stress, for much longer, than most people could handle. Sending hugs and positive thoughts that you and your boys will soon find the calm ad peace that you deserve.

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Ausmumof3

Ausmumof3

Posted
Posted

I love your avatar because it’s cute. I would think of a drama llama as someone who makes drama out of nothing whereas it feels like life just keeps throwing crap at you and you stay kind of level-headed through it all! Maybe you could be Macca the Alpaca with Marracas instead 😊

Plus alpacas are great to put with sheep because they have their head above the flock looking out and chase off the foxes protecting everyone.

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