So, why do you wear a bra?

[TravelingChris]

3 hours ago, theelfqueen said:

I ask because I have an insurance adjustor coming to my house and thought "oh I should go put on a bra"

I'm not so busty that I need one for physical.comfort/to prevent back pain.

I know intellectually that the research indicates that wearing a bra does not "prevent sagging" with age 

I do think some clothes look good with a smoothed and lifted line. So I can see that. 

But I'm sitting here in yoga pants and a tee shirt. Why do I think "I should put on a bra" ? 

I hardly ever wear a bra anymore.  I just can't unless I use pain meds, muscle relaxants, etc., and even then, only for a short while.  I used to wear bras until my AS got so much worse.

[itsheresomewhere]

7 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

 

Ok, see...I STOPPED wearing normal bras because they now cause me pain. The shoulder straps on most bras cause me neck/shoulder pain and pinched nerve type pain. I know, I know, they say that means the band isn't tight enough, but I don't like having my rib cage squished either!!! I have zero pain without a bra (large C or small D cup), and can tolerate without any real pain ONE brand/style of bra. I can wear a "real" bra from Soma to church or other short events, but that's it. I'm ripping it off before long. Same with a cami - those thin straps put too much pressure on some nerve in my shoulders or something. Or I am tensing against the pressure maybe. 

I did NOT have this issue when I was younger, but I realized recently that back then they were perky enough to stay up on their own mostly - now those straps have to really work to keep them up. 

(these are the ones i wear daily, that don't hurt. They are stretchy all over, so the pressure is distributed over more surface area I guess? And straps are wide. The removable pads suck though, so I take them out and yes, my nipples show. Oh well. At least they are holding still in these)

I can’t do wireless.  I need that little extra support to help keep them in check. Wireless is perfect for sleeping in to me as they offer no support and I could give myself a black eye if I exercised in those.  Lol

[regentrude]

I almost never wear one. I really refuse to give in to the pressure - I have nothing that needs to be supported.
My only exception: I put one on when I wear thin, fitted T-shirts to class because I don't need stupid evaluation comments from teen dudes about nipples.

Edited August 30, 2023 by regentrude

[Lawana]

1. So that my belly doesn’t stick out farther that my boobs. 
2. To avoid skin on skin contact. Hate the feeling. 

[thatfirstsip]

6 minutes ago, lauraw4321 said:

Patriarchy, probably. 

It's why I wear one.

I mean, it's internalized - like shaving. But it didn't come from me; I didn't come out of the womb wanting a bra; I don't wear a hair covering or other clothing that indicates control/concealment/enhancement (depending on context) of what men see as female sexuality in other cultures - only my own.

 

But like, I will not leave the house without one. I really admire young especially queer women who refuse to participate.

[ktgrok]

1 minute ago, itsheresomewhere said:

I can’t do wireless.  I need that little extra support to help keep them in check. Wireless is perfect for sleeping in to me as they offer no support and I could give myself a black eye if I exercised in those.  Lol

I used to always wear underwire bras - even my nursing bras were underwire. But now even those hurt my shoulders. 

[MEmama]

Just now, thatfirstsip said:

It's why I wear one.

I mean, it's internalized - like shaving. But it didn't come from me; I didn't come out of the womb wanting a bra; I don't wear a hair covering or other clothing that indicates control/concealment/enhancement (depending on context) of what men see as female sexuality in other cultures - only my own.

 

But like, I will not leave the house without one. I really admire young especially queer women who refuse to participate.

Hint--you can stop shaving too! It's soooo liberating 🙂 

[Melissa Louise]

Because it's more comfortable for me, and always has been. 

I'm old enough and feminist-informed enough that I wouldn't do it if there wasn't something in it for me - comfort.

Comfort is in it for me,

[thatfirstsip]

1 minute ago, MEmama said:

Hint--you can stop shaving too! It's soooo liberating 🙂 

Gah

I shave armpits and below the knees when someone might see (armpits all the time). I know I could stop, but it's sooooo ingrained that I really feel uncivilized and gross when I don't shave. It's amazing to me how firmly internalized this completely made-up requirement is, and it makes me wonder what ideas or beliefs I take completely for granted that are in fact just internalized cultural patriarchy.

But like, I'd be more comfortable wearing a headscarf (which I've never done) than not shaving. I'd rather stop brushing my teeth. It's horrifying.

 

Strangely, I love seeing other women who don't shave. I have high hopes that ours (millennials) are the last generation to be thus encumbered. But maybe I just know above-averagely-independent-minded Gen Zers.

[thatfirstsip]

4 minutes ago, Melissa Louise said:

Because it's more comfortable for me, and always has been. 

I'm old enough and feminist-informed enough that I wouldn't do it if there wasn't something in it for me - comfort.

Comfort is in it for me,

Do you wear one at home? I rip mine off when I walk in and hang it on a coat hook to put back on on my way out the door 🤣

[Melissa Louise]

Just now, thatfirstsip said:

Do you wear one at home? I rip mine off when I walk in and hang it on a coat hook to put back on on my way out the door 🤣

At home and at night (at night I wear soft, non-underwired ones).

It's way more comfortable for me. 

 

[ikslo]

I wear one at work. I usually do not at home. So today I was working from home and almost jumped on a call with my boss without. He insists on us having our cameras on. Thankfully I remembered in time. My issue is I am always cold and it shows. So padded bras for me. It makes ME fee more comfortable about ME, in a world where nipples are noticed.

[TexasProud]

Does everything have to be about patriarchy... Good grief. 

[Spryte]

24 minutes ago, thatfirstsip said:

It's why I wear one.

I mean, it's internalized - like shaving. But it didn't come from me; I didn't come out of the womb wanting a bra; I don't wear a hair covering or other clothing that indicates control/concealment/enhancement (depending on context) of what men see as female sexuality in other cultures - only my own.

 

But like, I will not leave the house without one. I really admire young especially queer women who refuse to participate.

This.

[regentrude]

7 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

Does everything have to be about patriarchy... Good grief. 

The whole notion that women's bodies are something to be ashamed of and ALL social rules for how women should dress are inexorably linked to the patriarchal culture we have been steeped in for millennia. Yes, everything IS about the patriarchy - most definitely the societal views and connotations surrounding female breasts.

[Kassia]

17 minutes ago, thatfirstsip said:

 

I shave armpits and below the knees when someone might see (armpits all the time). I know I could stop, but it's sooooo ingrained that I really feel uncivilized and gross when I don't shave.

I'm this way too.  I shave my legs and armpits daily - even during our long winters. I just don't feel clean without doing it even though I know that's silly.  

I only wear a bra when I'm out and not wearing layers.  I wear one because my breasts are so saggy and I'm uncomfortable with the outline/nipples showing plus everything fits/looks better with the support.  

[TexasProud]

3 minutes ago, regentrude said:

The whole notion that women's bodies are something to be ashamed of and ALL social rules for how women should dress are inexorably linked to the patriarchal culture we have been steeped in for millennia. Yes, everything IS about the patriarchy - most definitely the societal views and connotations surrounding female breasts.

You sound like my aunt and my mother. I got so tired of all the rah rah women stuff in the 70's.  It was and is annoying. 

[Ting Tang]

I think wearing one makes me look better. I have always had larger breasts, and now they are droopy after being pumped for four babies, lol.  I also do not like my nipples to show, so I purposefully make sure I wear padded ones.  Maybe we've all been conditioned on ideas of modesty.  But I also like taking it off at night, lol. I do hate how much good ones cost, especially if you need a special size, seeing that they are expected.  

[regentrude]

4 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

You sound like my aunt and my mother. I got so tired of all the rah rah women stuff in the 70's.  It was and is annoying. 

Acknowledging the history and culture that has shaped all our views is not "rah rah women stuff". 
It is unfortunate that it is annoying for you, but that doesn't make it any less true that we are all the product of centuries of patriarchal culture, and that, btw, includes the dominating religion. As a Christian, you worships a male-personified father-deity. Doesn't get more patriarchy than that.
 

Edited August 30, 2023 by regentrude

[Catwoman]

2 hours ago, MEmama said:

Tank tops are the way! I like those trendy midriff baring tanks (like $5 at Target in the teen section). They have a high neck which I love and work great for light coverage under t shirts for those of blessed to not need support 🙂 

Ok, I need some of these tank things. Off to the Target website! 🙂 

[TexasProud]

9 minutes ago, regentrude said:

As a Christian, you worships a male-personified father-deity. Doesn't get more patriarchy than that.
 

Oh... my goodness, You have now crossed the line.  God doesn't have a sex.  He is God... Oh my goodness.  So you are saying God is bad and patriarchal.  That is just wrong. Wrong. WRONG    THAT ISNT TRUE<<<<

[regentrude]

11 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

Oh... my goodness, You have now crossed the line.  God doesn't have a sex.  He is God... Oh my goodness.  So you are saying God is bad and patriarchal.  That is just wrong. Wrong. WRONG    THAT ISNT TRUE<<<<

Huh? Nobody said God is bad. 
What I am saying is that the language humans use to speak about God personifies God as Father, Lord, Him - male terms. And that the Bible clearly designates women a different role than men and excludes them from certain actions and positions. The fact that the male is designated the head of the household, that the first-born son is designated the heir, that wife should obey husband - all these things are, by their very nature, patriarchy. 

Surely you are not going to argue that the bible says none of these things? Or that this bible has not been used to justify excluding women from positions of power and from equal rights for centuries? 
 

 

 

Edited August 30, 2023 by regentrude

[Clarita]

Comfort. I'll put one on even when I'm not going anywhere. If I'm upright a bra makes me comfortable (with out one it feels like the books drag me down).

[ktgrok]

32 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

You sound like my aunt and my mother. I got so tired of all the rah rah women stuff in the 70's.  It was and is annoying. 

Well, patriarchy is annoying to a lot of people. Those "rah rah" women are the reason you can get a credit card in your name now, or a bank account.

[Shoeless]

21 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

Oh... my goodness, You have now crossed the line.  God doesn't have a sex.  He is God... Oh my goodness.  So you are saying God is bad and patriarchal.  That is just wrong. Wrong. WRONG    THAT ISNT TRUE<<<<

As you say, "He". 

[ktgrok]

With all the talk about things wriggling and jiggling and flopping around this clip keeps coming to mind...

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/088f01be-e985-45b7-ab33-d7d798596133

 

Edited August 30, 2023 by ktgrok

[GoVanGogh]

I am very well endowed. At age 12, I was already much more endowed than my mother. I lift weights so, now at mid-50ish, they are very firm and non droopy. I probably could get away without wearing one in public, but it is ingrained in my head that I need to wear one around other people. I almost never ever wear one at home. This year,I have started gardening some without one, but I have 25+ years of pulling up my shirt to wipe sweat off my face so know I have flashed the neighbors a few times this summer. The timing of this post is somewhat ironic as I have been thinking about gardening topless in our backyard. (We have high wooden privacy fence.) I would love to get more sunshine on my skin. (I know, I know. That is awful. But I struggle with very low vitamin D and depression. My dermatologist told me at my last skin cancer screening that she was comfortable with me getting more sun exposure.)

[SKL]

Am I the only person who feels zero discomfort having no layer between my body and my shirt?  If I didn't read it here, I wouldn't even think that was a thing.

Anyhoo ...

As far as patriarchy goes ... I do believe in patriarchy, but I'm not sure that was the original reason for bras.  Bras are a relatively recent invention.  Women showed a lot more boob in much more partiarchic times than today.  In fact, in the early years of bra history, wearing one was a bit risque.

[-----]

nm

 

Edited September 1 by kathyl

[Kassia]

41 minutes ago, GoVanGogh said:

 I lift weights so, now at mid-50ish, they are very firm and non droopy. I probably could get away without wearing one in public, but it is ingrained in my head that I need to wear one around other people. I almost never ever wear one at home. This year,I have started gardening some without one, but I have 25+ years of pulling up my shirt to wipe sweat off my face so know I have flashed the neighbors a few times this summer. The timing of this post is somewhat ironic as I have been thinking about gardening topless in our backyard. (We have high wooden privacy fence.) I would love to get more sunshine on my skin. (I know, I know. That is awful. But I struggle with very low vitamin D and depression. My dermatologist told me at my last skin cancer screening that she was comfortable with me getting more sun exposure.)

I've been lifting weights for most of my life and my breasts are still incredibly droopy/saggy.  4 kids who breastfed a long time may have something to do with that but I don't know.  My pectoral muscles can't keep my breasts from drooping.

I don't think it's awful at all that you want to go topless in your own backyard.  ETA - oops, I think you meant it's awful to want more sunshine on your skin!  😛   I'll never understand why men can go topless but not women.  

Edited August 30, 2023 by Kassia

[Kassia]

2 minutes ago, kathyl said:

I only wear one when I have to run errands in the summer.  And always to the gym.  Mostly because I hate the looks I get from some men when I go without.

Otherwise, I go without.  And I rip it off as soon as I get home whenever I do wear one.  

In the winter when I begin wearing jackets, I go without even when running errands but still wear one to the gym.

Always sports bras.  Can't even remember when I last owned a regular bra.

 

This is pretty much the same for me.  I'll wear bralettes in addition to sports bras though.  

[lauraw4321]

1 hour ago, TexasProud said:

You sound like my aunt and my mother. I got so tired of all the rah rah women stuff in the 70's.  It was and is annoying. 

Wow. Yeah, all that equality is soooo annoying. 

[rebcoola]

4 hours ago, saraha said:

I am an H and cannot imagine anyone seeing me without a bra. Good on you 

Bra's are very uncomfortable straps hurt my shoulders, or it crushes my rib cage.  I look terrible without oneI just dont care at least not enough

Edited August 30, 2023 by rebcoola

[Kassia]

40 minutes ago, Kassia said:

 I'll never understand why men can go topless but not women.  

Quoting myself and apologizing for going way off topic, but it's ridiculous that not only can men go topless, but  women can't even breastfeed in public while men can walk around with their nipples exposed!  How did this happen?  

Edited August 30, 2023 by Kassia

[TexasProud]

7 minutes ago, Kassia said:

Quoting myself and apologizing for going way off topic, but it's ridiculous that not only can men go topless, but  women can't even breastfeed in public while men can walk around with their nipples exposed!  How did this happen?  

Well, that may be true here, but that isn't true in other countries.  In both Honduras and Kenya women are nursing out in the open with no stigma at all.  It is fine. 

[Kassia]

1 minute ago, TexasProud said:

Well, that may be true here, but that isn't true in other countries.  In both Honduras and Kenya women are nursing out in the open with no stigma at all.  It is fine. 

Yes, that's what I meant, sorry. Same with topless beaches in other areas.

[regentrude]

20 minutes ago, Kassia said:

Quoting myself and apologizing for going way off topic, but it's ridiculous that not only can men go topless, but  women can't even breastfeed in public while men can walk around with their nipples exposed!  How did this happen?  

Puritans?

[thatfirstsip]

Shockingly, cultural norms around what parts of women's bodies are considered sexualized and/or must be covered (or exposed, or accentuated) at what times are culturally dependant. 

Or, as RuPaul once said, "you're born naked; everything after that is drag"

 

[SKL]

1 hour ago, Kassia said:

 I'll never understand why men can go topless but not women.  

I do see it as different if it's a guy with a good physique ... they aren't flopping around.  But I'd rather not see it at all.

There are parallels where guys usually don't wear some things women wear because of what they would have flopping around.  😛

[Eos]

Cozy for me.

Edited August 31, 2023 by Eos

[City Mouse]

2 hours ago, TexasProud said:

Does everything have to be about patriarchy... Good grief. 

I don’t know about everything, but I do think that female undergarment styles are or have been because of men.
 

I’m small chested. I’ve seen lots of lots of men with floppy chests that are much bigger than mine, and they feel no pressure to wear a similar garment.

[Catwoman]

1 hour ago, SKL said:

Am I the only person who feels zero discomfort having no layer between my body and my shirt?  If I didn't read it here, I wouldn't even think that was a thing.

I’m right there with you. 🙂 

I find bras to be uncomfortable. My shirts feel a lot better and less restrictive to me.

[MEmama]

2 hours ago, Catwoman said:

Ok, I need some of these tank things. Off to the Target website! 🙂 

https://www.target.com/p/women-39-s-tiny-tank-top-wild-fable-8482-maroon-s/-/A-88331020

[mmasc]

3 hours ago, marbel said:

Someone mentioned sleeping in a bra... I feel the same way, and found a great solution. Costco sells a 4-pack of reversible camisoles. I bought a pack a size smaller than my usual. So they fit snugly and keep everything in place while I am sleeping. They are meant as a layer - the reversible part is about the necklines - V or scoop neck. I love them so much, next time in Costco I'm going to buy more.

So I said above that I believe everyone should do what works for them, and I believe that. But I don't understand some women. I know a fair number of large-b******ed women (IRL, not here) around my age (60s) who don't wear bras or wear very unstructured ones (it's very obvious in their clothing) and complain a lot about how frumpy and fat they look, and how their backs hurt, and on and on. And surely some of the problem is their lack of a supportive bra. I finally told one woman that she might want to look into a better bra for the discomfort and she got angry with me (but never bitched about it to me again, so yay for that). She actually told me that she hadn't worn a bra since the 70s and wasn't going to start now. I mean, bra technology has changed in the last 50 years... and so have our bodies. 

 

 

Do you have a link for these? Or brand? I’d like to check them out at my Costco!

[Catwoman]

Just now, MEmama said:

https://www.target.com/p/women-39-s-tiny-tank-top-wild-fable-8482-maroon-s/-/A-88331020

THANK YOU!!!!

[marbel]

3 minutes ago, mmasc said:

Do you have a link for these? Or brand? I’d like to check them out at my Costco!

Here  you go!

https://www.costco.com/felina-ladies'-reversible-tank%2C-4-pack.product.100672209.html

 

[annandatje]

Generally I do not wear a bra except when I’m going out somewhere in light colored tops that show my left nipple.  The once cancerous right breast has no nipple and is considerably smaller than healthy breast due to shrinking from radiation fibrosis syndrome.  However, occasionally I do go out in light tops without bra. I consistently do my fitness walking in neighborhood braless in light tank tops.  I am moving toward totally permanently braless.

[SHP]

For drag

[KungFuPanda]

So the nips don’t show. Nipples are distracting. I don’t really need the support. 

[Ting Tang]

Can we blame patriarchy for having to pay $70+ for a torture contraption in the right size?  Kinda like a $10 box of tampons, well....I need those more than I need a bra.  Btw, the contraption is off, and I feel good.  lol