How to handle a poor/terrible quality Mother's Day gift when someone is sending it remotely?

[Halftime Hope]

...it's a sticky situation, because I doubt the giver knows it is not working out well.  They can tell when it has been delivered. 

Two years in a row, one of my long-distance kids has had a bouquet of flowers delivered from the local grocery store. The photos below are from last year's flowers, taken immediately after they were delivered. The flowers were so terrible that I hopped right in the car (early afternoon on Sunday) and took them back to the grocery store. The store clerk wasn't very appreciative that I didn't like them and said they would put the flowers right back into the merchandise so someone else could purchase them, and they'd be thrilled to have them because the store was completely out of flowers. (There were a few left just as bad as mine, maybe worse.) She had probably been listening to customers despairing over not being able to get any flowers...

This is not a matter of economics; this kid is able to do *anything* they want financially.

This year, yesterday, I received a bouquet likely via the same delivery method -- I had seen the vases at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago -- and it was bad, although not as bad as last year. I still wouldn't pick it for anyone I was giving something to. (Quite a few flowers were far gone, wilted, wrinkled, dropping petals.)

If this were your situation, how would you handle it? I don't want to seem picky or unappreciative, but I wouldn't give flowers like these to anyone, and I know neither my kid or partner would buy these for themselves!)  

Ughhh.

BTW, those roses are actually brown and crushed; it's not just the cultivar that looks "aged" on the edges of the petals.

 

 

[itsheresomewhere]

Do they have a social media account and/or are you part of a local fb/next door group?  I would have no problems posting pictures of the flowers this year and last year.  I would have even email corporate about their pitiful arrangements and how they have some quality control issues. 
 

 

[YaelAldrich]

The only indirect way to tell your child if the issue would be to take a picture of you and the flowers (smile! ) and then a close up of the flowers.  No comment! 

That would work for me and not make me upset at my mom.  Just upset at the store who had the chutzpah to send flowers like that. 

[Arcadia]

My close relatives are in different countries. I would appreciate knowing if gifts of bouquets or wreaths end up being substandard. My cousin in China sent a large flower wreath for my mom’s wake last year and his siblings sent him photos of what was delivered. 
We were at Costco on Saturday and they have lots of flower bouquets that are pretty, same goes for my local Safeway stores. 

[Carol in Cal.]

I think your son should have the good sense to order from a florist instead of a grocery store.  Grocery store flowers are notoriously poor quality.  

[prairiewindmomma]

7 minutes ago, Carol in Cal. said:

I think your son should have the good sense to order from a florist instead of a grocery store.  Grocery store flowers are notoriously poor quality.  

If he is ordering from 1-800 flowers, that may be where the local delivery is routed from/through. I have had this happen in smaller areas.

[Clarita]

I don't know your relationship with your kid. I would want to know if the flowers I were sending to someone were absolutely terrible and if they told me about it I wouldn't take offense or anything it would just inform me to not order from there again.

[prairiewindmomma]

As a sender, I always ask if the flowers were of good quality the first few times I send them. If he isn’t aware of the issue, and is of the personality type to not be offended, I recommend the photo method above. 
 

Otherwise, I would thank the son and rework the bouquet, ditching the bad quality flowers, and then do whatever local complaining I want to. 

[Halftime Hope]

9 minutes ago, Carol in Cal. said:

I think your son should have the good sense to order from a florist instead of a grocery store.  Grocery store flowers are notoriously poor quality.  

I didn't identify that it was my son, just one of my kids.  On an everyday basis, this store usually has decent (inexpensive) flowers, although I wouldn't send from there if it were me.  I'd do nice flowers via Instacart from Costco, if not from a florist I trusted.

Maybe I just need to tell them that the store is terrible for holidays, and I'd prefer a gift card to the local nursery, since the quality is so bad on holidays.  ?? If you (all) were the gift-giver, would that feel bad/unappreciative to you?  (I suspect how we got here in the first place was that it was a last minute scramble, a forgotten task, the first year they did it.)

 

 

[Halftime Hope]

8 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

If he is ordering from 1-800 flowers, that may be where the local delivery is routed from/through. I have had this happen in smaller areas.

I have received nice flowers from this same kid from 1-800, before.  We are in a large metro area, so I suspect it was that it was a last minute, "I forgot" thing, the first year.

I had forgotten to do something about it until this year's flowers arrived....also pretty lousy.

[marbel]

My response would depend on my relationship with the kid. One of my kids would be appalled at the quality and wouldn't order that way again. The other might get their feelings a bit hurt as a criticism of their effort. I do like the suggestion of sending photos with a thank you, but some young people may not notice the quality issue.

I wouldn't necessarily expect a young adult to know the best way to order flowers. I mean, when I order flowers I locate a florist in the area I want them delivered, look at reviews, etc. But unless a kid is paying attention they are not likely to just know. And, a grocery store that has lots of flowers may seem like a sensible place to order.

 

[Halftime Hope]

7 minutes ago, Clarita said:

I don't know your relationship with your kid. I would want to know if the flowers I were sending to someone were absolutely terrible and if they told me about it I wouldn't take offense or anything it would just inform me to not order from there again.

👍

[Hannah]

I'd mention to my child that last year I gave the store the benefit of the doubt, but heads up that their quality was appaling again this year. 

Nobody wants to send flowers that will go straight to the compost on the day of arrival.

I've one child that would be touchier about this than the other. 

[prairiewindmomma]

8 minutes ago, Halftime Hope said:

I have received nice flowers from this same kid from 1-800, before.  We are in a large metro area, so I suspect it was that it was a last minute, "I forgot" thing, the first year.

I had forgotten to do something about it until this year's flowers arrived....also pretty lousy.

The thing with some online ordering platforms is that it is very hit and miss in terms of quality. Fwiw, I have moved to giving my own mom a nursery gift certificate instead of fresh flowers, so if you think your kid is open to that, I would gently suggest it. I am sure they want to give a lovely gift…the getting it there is difficult. 
 

I have had bad experiences with online ordering through Costco, so if they don’t know about the instacart loophole, it may not have crossed their minds to do it. 
 

Sending stuff online cross country sounds easy theoretically, but my actual experiences of doing that for several years haven’t been smooth.

[Shoeless]

Do you have another kid that would be willing to play middle man and tell the sender what's up? "Mom will never say anything about it, but flowers the store sent were very poor quality. They are ripping you off, sibling ".

It might help everyone save face if this is a touchy situation.

[Halftime Hope]

5 minutes ago, Shoeless said:

Do you have another kid that would be willing to play middle man and tell the sender what's up? "Mom will never say anything about it, but flowers the store sent were very poor quality. They are ripping you off, sibling ".

It might help everyone save face if this is a touchy situation.

I think this might come better from my husband, instead of from the sibling, since they are out of town, too. Not a bad idea.

[Carol in Cal.]

What if you said, wow, this place has really gone downhill!  That kind of takes the burden off of him while you can still say thank you.  

[Halftime Hope]

BTW,

The 'secret sauce' to finding a good local florist anywhere, in my experience, is to call a large Baptist church (use Google maps) that is local to where you are having the flowers delivered and ask them for a local florist who does beautiful work. They will know because of they do a fair number of weddings, funerals, and other flower-requiring events, and because many of the more traditional churches may have a relationship with a local florist for when someone wants Sunday podium flowers in honor of an event or person.   (ETA: it may work well for Catholic churches, synagogues, or other traditional denominations, too.)

Often times, funeral homes have a connection to florists, but it may not be purely based on the quality of a florist's work, but rather on a contractual relationship -- that happens in my metropolitan area a lot. You'll often see a link to a florist on the funeral home's page, and they have no incentive to provide great quality.

If any of you ever use the idea above, feel free to call a church and say, "My friend Half-time used to work for a church, and she says that it is very likely you could give me a recommendation for a great florist in "Small Town".  I need to send flowers for [occasion] and it's important to me that they be very special. Who do you recommend?"

I used to order funeral flowers for the faculty and staff on behalf of my university when they would have a death in the family, and several times, I've gotten a nice email from a colleague because the 1-800 Flowers orders were a bust, and the nice flowers were the ones the university sent. (And not because of the amount of $$.) Now days, many florists are happy to text you a photo of the flower arrangement, and they're even happier if you tell them you don't mind what they use as long as it is "this" color -- if you had something in mind -- and has premium flowers. (That allows them use up whatever they have an abundance of.)

Anyway... that's my two cents' worth on getting nice flowers anywhere in the US, long distance.

 

 

Edited May 15, 2023 by Halftime Hope

[SKL]

Whenever I send flowers to my mom or to anyone close enough to tell me how they looked, I ask if they were nice.  I think my mom would tell me if they weren't.  She might say something like, "it was lovely of you to send flowers ... some of the flowers were fresh ... some of them were not so fresh ...."

I also think it is a great idea to send a photo.  I wouldn't post it for the whole world to see, but you can restrict who gets to see the post or just text a photo.  "Thank you so much for thinking of me!"

Sent flowers are so expensive, the person sending them would want to know if they weren't gorgeous.

[Halftime Hope]

Just now, SKL said:

Whenever I send flowers to my mom or to anyone close enough to tell me how they looked, I ask if they were nice.  I think my mom would tell me if they weren't.  She might say something like, "it was lovely of you to send flowers ... some of the flowers were fresh ... some of them were not so fresh ...."

I also think it is a great idea to send a photo.  I wouldn't post it for the whole world to see, but you can restrict who gets to see the post or just text a photo.  "Thank you so much for thinking of me!"

Sent flowers are so expensive, the person sending them would want to know if they weren't gorgeous.

I would have asked, but this kid did not.

For everyone replying:  I'm not sure if I'll send photos or not, because it's doubtful that this kid would read between the lines, look at the photo critically, and realize there was something wrong. (It's not a really straightforward approach to send a thank you and photo, but expect them to actually look at the photo to judge the quality.)

Sigh.   

 

[Kassia]

58 minutes ago, Clarita said:

I don't know your relationship with your kid. I would want to know if the flowers I were sending to someone were absolutely terrible and if they told me about it I wouldn't take offense or anything it would just inform me to not order from there again.

I agree.  I would express appreciation for the thought/gift while also telling them not to order from this store again because the quality is bad.  I would definitely want to know if I was getting someone a gift that was arriving in bad condition.  

[prairiewindmomma]

13 minutes ago, Halftime Hope said:

BTW,

The 'secret sauce' to finding a good local florist anywhere, in my experience, is to call a large Baptist church (use Google maps) that is local to where you are having the flowers delivered and ask them for a local florist who does beautiful work. They will know because of they do a fair number of weddings, funerals, and other flower-requiring events, and because many of the more traditional churches may have a relationship with a local florist for when someone wants Sunday podium flowers in honor of an event or person. 

Often times, funeral homes have a connection to florists, but it may not be purely based on the quality of a florist's work, but rather on a contractual relationship -- that happens in my metropolitan area a lot. You'll often see a link to a florist on the funeral home's page, and they have no incentive to provide great quality.

If any of you ever use the idea above, feel free to call a church and say, "My friend Half-time used to work for a church, and she says that it is very likely you could give me a recommendation for a great florist in "Small Town".  I need to send flowers for [occasion] and it's important to me that they be very special. Who do you recommend?"

I used to order funeral flowers for the faculty and staff on behalf of my university when they would have a death in the family, and several times, I've gotten a nice email from a colleague because the 1-800 Flowers orders were a bust, and the nice flowers were the ones the university sent. (And not because of the amount of $$.) Now days, many florists are happy to text you a photo of the flower arrangement, and they're even happier if you tell them you don't mind what they use as long as it is "this" color -- if you had something in mind -- and has premium flowers. (That allows them use up whatever they have an abundance of.)

Anyway... that's my two cents' worth on getting nice flowers anywhere in the US, long distance.

 

 

For me, the issue is rural delivery. I need delivery down a gravel road kind of rural delivery. There is no local florist, all funerals are conducted in a church in a nearby town kind of delivery. The nearest florist has a x number of miles range for her hired deliverers, so I have to use something with commercial delivery (UPS, etc.).

Towns with universities and churches are much easier to live in and get services for.

Edited May 15, 2023 by prairiewindmomma

[Halftime Hope]

10 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

For me, the issue is rural delivery. I need delivery down a gravel road kind of rural delivery. There is no local florist, all funerals are conducted in a church in a nearby town kind of delivery. The florist has a x number of miles range for her hired deliverers, so I have to use something with commercial delivery (UPS, etc.).

Towns with universities and churches are much easier to live in and get services for.

Ironically, the cut flowers, not in a vase, that this kid used to send from 800-flowers (usually tulips; sometimes roses), were delivered by UPS in a rectangular cardboard box. They were probably ordered by the dozen, i.e., not an arrangement. Those were always quite decent quality. That might work for you.

Edited May 15, 2023 by Halftime Hope

[ScoutTN]

1 hour ago, Carol in Cal. said:

I think your son should have the good sense to order from a florist instead of a grocery store.  Grocery store flowers are notoriously poor quality.  

Not necessarily. My Kroger has fabulous flowers at lower prices than a florist. The Publix in another neighborhood is the same. Whole Foods, Trader Joes, and Costco have good flowers.

[Halftime Hope]

Just now, ScoutTN said:

Not necessarily. My Kroger has fabulous flowers at lower prices than a florist. The Publix in another neighborhood is the same. Whole Foods, Trader Joes, and Costco have good flowers.

It's the local Kroger that is the offender on Mother's Day. Sigh. The flowers at Costco are much nicer and are relatively inexpensive.

[ScoutTN]

11 minutes ago, Kassia said:

I agree.  I would express appreciation for the thought/gift while also telling them not to order from this store again because the quality is bad.  I would definitely want to know if I was getting someone a gift that was arriving in bad condition.  

This or have your Dh communicate this. “Hey, just a heads-up, mom appreciated the thought, but the flowers you sent were brown and wilted, so maybe choose a different vendor in the future.”

 

[Innisfree]

I agree with having your DH mention the condition. The phrasing @Shoeless used above about “Mom won’t say anything, but they’re ripping you off” is good. It gets across the point that you appreciate the gift, even in bad condition, and don’t want to hurt the DC. It also puts the emphasis on the poor value for DC’s money, which should be easier to hear without feeling hurt than just saying the flowers they sent were in awful shape.

What I wouldn’t do is post pictures on social media, because if I were the one who had sent them, I’d be mortified. It’s a private matter, the intention was good even if the execution was lacking, so a quiet word to the young adult seems appropriate.

[KungFuPanda]

Oh man. I don’t think I could tell the kid. I’d just put them in a vase and feel all warm and fuzzy that my kid sent me flowers.  I really couldn’t request a nursery gift certificate. That would feel like I’m taking a gift they feel good about giving and asking my kid for spending money instead. It’s a tough situation, but not one that would upset me so I’d let it go. 
 

Now my husband would be more likely to say “Your mother is so excited you sent her flowers that she’s refusing to see that half of them are dead. You might want to try a different florist.”

Eta: In this whole scenario I’m most upset by the rude store clerk pretending the decaying flowers are good enough to sell then trying to gaslight you about it. They would not get my business and deserve some social media shaming. 

Edited May 16, 2023 by KungFuPanda

[gardenmom5]

How's the relationship with the kid?  It sounds like it's not great, or you would have shared this with them already.

If there's a costco in your area, you can suggest he can order them online from costco and have them delivered.  Their flowers are usually pretty nice, at least the ones in the warehouse are.  and a good price.  

dh bought me a boquet of 2 doz roses a few days before my birthday (so we beat the MDs rush).  they lasted more than a week.  I assume I did something wrong when I tried to change the water after a week.  Maybe I should have trimmed the ends again.

[DeainUSA]

I would text a "thank you for the flowers, I just got them",  with a pic.  If he picks up on it great, if he doesn't, I would not say anything.

[Arcadia]

29 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

dh bought me a boquet of 2 doz roses a few days before my birthday (so we beat the MDs rush).  they lasted more than a week.  I assume I did something wrong when I tried to change the water after a week.  Maybe I should have trimmed the ends again.

If you have aspirin in the house, they do help make flowers last longer. Sometimes flower bouquets come with a packet of cut flower food to add to the water that is supposed to lengthen the time before flowers wilt. 

[saraha]

2 hours ago, Shoeless said:

Do you have another kid that would be willing to play middle man and tell the sender what's up? "Mom will never say anything about it, but flowers the store sent were very poor quality. They are ripping you off, sibling ".

It might help everyone save face if this is a touchy situation.

I was going to suggest the same thing

[HomeAgain]

3 hours ago, Shoeless said:

Do you have another kid that would be willing to play middle man and tell the sender what's up? "Mom will never say anything about it, but flowers the store sent were very poor quality. They are ripping you off, sibling ".

It might help everyone save face if this is a touchy situation.

Please do.

I'm not a fan of my MIL but I take up doing all the gifts for dh. I've been doing it for about 20 years and the one time I tried to use a third party for flowers, they were an obvious disappointment in the picture she put up of flowers from all her kids. We were able to get a replacement, but that moment had me search for small flower shops local to her. I have developed a good rapport with the owner now and give her full discretion at what she puts together for our budget.

Had I not seen the picture I would have assumed all was fine.  It was definitely a cringe moment for me because the relationship was already touchy.

 

[Not_a_Number]

4 hours ago, YaelAldrich said:

The only indirect way to tell your child if the issue would be to take a picture of you and the flowers (smile! ) and then a close up of the flowers.  No comment! 

That would work for me and not make me upset at my mom.  Just upset at the store who had the chutzpah to send flowers like that. 

That would make me feel really uncomfortable. Like someone's trying to prod me to notice something but won't say it to my face. I'd feel a lot worse about that than about just being told.

(This is assuming I noticed. I might also not notice.) 

What I might do is separate this in time. Say thank you for the flowers now. In a few weeks, mention that they have quality issues and that they might want to order from somewhere else. That way, it's not part of the gift response. 

[Halftime Hope]

2 hours ago, KungFuPanda said:

Oh man. I don’t think I could tell the kid. I’d just put them in a vase and feel all warm and fuzzy that my kid sent me flowers.  I really couldn’t request a nursery gift certificate. That would feel like I’m taking a gift they feel good about giving and asking my kid for spending money instead. It’s a tough situation, but not one that would upset me so I’d let it go.  They used to do a nursery certificate, because it's my favorite thing, so it's not a novel idea.
 

Now my husband would be more likely to say “You’re mother is so excited you sent her flowers that she’s refusing to see that half of them are dead. You might want to try a different florist.”  Nicely worded!

Eta: In this whole scenario I’m most upset by the rude store clerk pretending the decaying flowers are good enough to sell then trying to gaslight you about it. They would not get my business and deserve some social media shaming.  Yes!

 

[Halftime Hope]

1 hour ago, gardenmom5 said:

How's the relationship with the kid?  It sounds like it's not great, or you would have shared this with them already.

If there's a costco in your area, you can suggest he can order them online from costco and have them delivered.  Their flowers are usually pretty nice, at least the ones in the warehouse are.  and a good price.  

dh bought me a boquet of 2 doz roses a few days before my birthday (so we beat the MDs rush).  they lasted more than a week.  I assume I did something wrong when I tried to change the water after a week.  Maybe I should have trimmed the ends again.

Yep; eggshells for now.

[momto3innc]

1 minute ago, Halftime Hope said:

Yep; eggshells for now.

I would let the poor quality flowers go and just give a response as if they were the most beautiful ever. Even though they’re not, even if it’s last minute, and even if you’d prefer something like a nursery card. I just don’t think it’s worth potentially causing offense (even though none is meant) when the relationship is tenuous. If there were no issues, I would go with your husband or a sibling saying something—I think that’s the best option if you do address it.

[Kassia]

11 minutes ago, Halftime Hope said:

Yep; eggshells for now.

 

4 minutes ago, momto3innc said:

I would let the poor quality flowers go and just give a response as if they were the most beautiful ever. Even though they’re not, even if it’s last minute, and even if you’d prefer something like a nursery card. I just don’t think it’s worth potentially causing offense (even though none is meant) when the relationship is tenuous. 

I agree in this situation.  

[Arcadia]

8 minutes ago, Halftime Hope said:

Yep; eggshells for now.

I would say nothing then. Your child might genuinely not realize Kroger’s flower deliveries were bad. I love looking at the flowers at Safeway supermarket and at Trader Joe’s because they look well maintained. I would not have thought that my local stores might send substandard bouquets.  

[YaelAldrich]

38 minutes ago, Halftime Hope said:

Yep; eggshells for now.

If that's the case,  they are the best gift ever and that's all! Relationships above (almost)  everything. I'm really sorry shortchanges you in the process. Personally,  I'm willing to take a lot of lumps for the kids,  especially the ones who I am not in the best place with. 

Edited May 16, 2023 by YaelAldrich
Added the end

[Arctic Bunny]

It’s been bothering me that my MIL did not send a picture of the flowers I ordered. And now  I’m even more concerned! Totally different situation, as there are no eggshells involved. But now I’m worried I wasted money and she’s not going to tell me!

Sorry, it your case OP, I wouldn’t mention it, and just say thank you. And have DH express separately how thoughtful it was to send flowers.

[marbel]

21 minutes ago, Arctic Bunny said:

It’s been bothering me that my MIL did not send a picture of the flowers I ordered. And now  I’m even more concerned! Totally different situation, as there are no eggshells involved. But now I’m worried I wasted money and she’s not going to tell me!

Sorry, it your case OP, I wouldn’t mention it, and just say thank you. And have DH express separately how thoughtful it was to send flowers.

Does she usually send a photo?  I don't get flowers often, but when I do, I don't typically send a photo, whether the flowers are lovely or they are wilted. I thank the person for the flowers in whatever method is appropriate, but I don't see a need for a photo. I don't expect a photo when I send flowers either, but it's nice to have the gift acknowledged. 

 

[ScoutTN]

1 hour ago, Halftime Hope said:

Yep; eggshells for now.

Then just let it go.

[Halftime Hope]

1 hour ago, Arcadia said:

I would say nothing then. Your child might genuinely not realize Kroger’s flower deliveries were bad. I love looking at the flowers at Safeway supermarket and at Trader Joe’s because they look well maintained. I would not have thought that my local stores might send substandard bouquets.  

I'm sure this is the case...no idea.

Re. the eggshells, I feel like I'm the one walking on eggshells, trying not to say anything that would rock the boat, because this one is so aloof.  It wasn't always this way, and currently, everything we've said/done to communicate love has been met with non-committal. That's why I asked how people would approach a similar situation. Sigh.

Edited May 16, 2023 by Halftime Hope

[Halftime Hope]

1 hour ago, Arctic Bunny said:

It’s been bothering me that my MIL did not send a picture of the flowers I ordered. And now  I’m even more concerned! Totally different situation, as there are no eggshells involved. But now I’m worried I wasted money and she’s not going to tell me!

Sorry, it your case OP, I wouldn’t mention it, and just say thank you. And have DH express separately how thoughtful it was to send flowers.

Why wouldn't you call and ask how they were? You want to make sure something nice was sent, and if they were not good quality, you'll get them from somewhere else next year? Would she not tell you the truth?

[Not_a_Number]

16 minutes ago, Halftime Hope said:

I'm sure this is the case...no idea.

Re. the eggshells, I feel like I'm the one walking on eggshells, trying not to say anything that would rock the boat, because this one is so aloof.  It wasn't always this way, and currently, everything we've said/done to communicate love has been met with non-committal. That's why I asked how people would approach a similar situation. Sigh.

Right.

I think what people are saying is that in this situation, your child would not assume good will, and that makes the situation more fraught. So it’s probably best to say nothing at all.

Personally, what I’d do would depend on how much this would bother me and whether it’d bother me enough to affect later interactions. If this wouldn’t bother me moving forward, I’d let it go. 

Edited May 16, 2023 by Not_a_Number

[Innisfree]

32 minutes ago, Halftime Hope said:

I'm sure this is the case...no idea.

Re. the eggshells, I feel like I'm the one walking on eggshells, trying not to say anything that would rock the boat, because this one is so aloof.  It wasn't always this way, and currently, everything we've said/done to communicate love has been met with non-committal. That's why I asked how people would approach a similar situation. Sigh.

In this case, I agree with everyone else that I’d just express appreciation for the flowers and let the condition they arrived in go. The important thing is that your DC did make an effort. Nothing else matters.

[gardenmom5]

3 hours ago, Arcadia said:

If you have aspirin in the house, they do help make flowers last longer. Sometimes flower bouquets come with a packet of cut flower food to add to the water that is supposed to lengthen the time before flowers wilt. 

Costco flowers always include a little packet of food to help them last longer.  I changed the water (there was very little left) after a week, and used an old packet.  so, either they were mad at me for not retrimming the stems, or using old water food, or they were just old . . I don't know.

[wintermom]

I've had something similar happen last year after my father passed away. The flower delivery left the flowers outside on the step in the evening in February when it was - 20. When we finally noticed the box in the morning the flowers were dead. The flowers were from a close, elderly family member, and there was no way I was going to let her know what happened. This was in no way her fault, and the price of the flowers was something she were likely comfortable with. 

I contacted the flower delivery company and they offered to send a new delivery of flowers, but I chose chocolates instead, as they couldn't guarantee the next delivery would be any different. I figured that chocolates could stand the cold in case we didn't notice the delivery. Every other flower delivery (and there were many) phoned before sending the delivery person. 

[Janeway]

You need to tell him. I just found out, after it was too late to exchange, that I was sending the wrong crystal glass for my sister's collection. I wish she would have told me sooner so I could exchange it, but she was afraid of hurting my feelings. I was able to correct it this year and get the correct one. I think it is best to suck it up and tell.