BakersDozen Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 The last time any of my girls was in a wedding was when my oldest were flower girls. The bride-to-be paid for the dresses. One of my daughters was asked to be a bridesmaid and she responded in the affirmative before finding out some details...and now those details have her blinking a bit. I understand that weddings typically warrant a bit more expense and that it's a bride's "moment", but seeing the cost of the dress and shoes (cheaply made, sold on Amazon, but not cheaply priced) is really making me cringe. Our daughter does not have a job and her savings, which she has worked so hard to build, is not something she wants to dip into for an ugly pink dress and white sandals she may not even find comfortable (my thoughts, not hers). I spend about $100/kid on clothes for the year so seeing the same dollar amount for an outfit for one day is somewhat hard. The bride's grandparents are self-made millionaires who live next door to her and she's the first grandchild to get married...funds are not an issue for her. But for the other families/girls in her bridal party (we are friends with all of them), this is not a good time for such expenditures! Since our girl already agreed I guess there's no good way to get out of this, right? So frustrating... I have a great appreciation for those brides who keep things simple (and useful...the dresses look like something a 4-year old would dress up in) or pay for the attire. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 Well wait till the bride's pre-wedding trip for the bridesmaids is added to that! At least that's what has become common nowadays. With one of my dd's, it was a road trip to an airbnb a few hours away, but for another dd, it was a flight to another part of the country plus hotel costs. I'm sure it's fun, but I think it's really presumptuous to assume everyone can afford those things. On the other hand, I also see couples going the other extreme, and having the whole wedding be quite simple and low-cost. I do like the current trend of picking a color and style for the dresses but letting the bridesmaids choose their own. So, the dresses aren't identical but they go together. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoeless Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 10 minutes ago, BakersDozen said: Since our girl already agreed I guess there's no good way to get out of this, right? So frustrating... I think she can still get out of it. She just has to be honest. "Friend, I'm so flattered that you asked me to be part of your day, but after looking at costs, I simply can't afford the dress and shoes for the wedding. I'm so sorry to let you down". Friend might step up and say that she'll cover the costs. Or she might not offer to pay, and accept the "resignation" instead. If the bride hints that maybe you should pay for the dress and shoes if daughter can't afford it, I'd push back with "Well, with the state of the world right now, I really can't be asking my parents to pay for this sort of thing..." The way a lot of brides act these days, it won't just be $100 for a dress and shoes. It's dress, alternations, shoes, hair, make up, a bachelorette party, bridal shower gift, wedding gift, etc etc. It's an expensive "honor" to be in the bridal party. 🙄 27 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hadley Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 (edited) I feel the pain on this one. I had a wedding, mostly to please my mother-in-law and mom, because I certainly wouldn’t have spent money on that if it were up to me. Even then, my mom insisted on paying for my bridesmaids dresses. If the bride does have some money, it strikes me as the polite thing to do, especially since most bridesmaids these days spend a fortune traveling to the wedding. Gone are the days when everyone lives next door! BUT, just one year after my wedding, one of my bridesmaids got married. I was in her wedding and had to shell out $400 for what can only be nicely referred to as a glaring red streetwalker dress. It was truly awful. Downright embarrassing. I was terrified that I’d get pulled over on the way to the wedding and be given a ticket for solicitation. Did I mention it was really ugly as well as risqué? BUT, twenty-one years later, and a country apart, she and I are still very close friends. I wouldn’t trade her for anything. It’s not often that I keep my mouth shut, but I did keep my opinion to myself about the dress, and I’m so very glad that I did. I think bridesmaids dresses are always awful. Even the good ones hang in the closet. No one ever wears them again! Friendships, however, are priceless. If she has already committed, the best she can do is make the best of the situation, and pray that she is never asked to be a bridesmaid again!! Edited April 21, 2020 by Hadley 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 $100 for a dress and shoes for a wedding is probably as low a you're going to get anywhere. It doesn't sound like the bride is being extravagant. Not liking her choice is beside the point. I was expecting a much higher price tag for the amount of sticker shock your daughter is experiencing and I'm really cheap. 33 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 I don't think that that cost is excessive for an entire formal outfit, but it's certainly inconvenient. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 Said very gently.... They probably consider $100 for a bridesmaid dress and shoes very inexpensive. An average bridesmaid dress is in the $200-300 price range and shoes are $50 to 100. Even 20 years ago, when i was bridesmaid age, accepting the invitation to be a bridesmaid was usually a $300 to 500 committment. Attire, hair, various parties and gifts to couple at the parties/weddings. And it only goes up if ur the maid of honor. I finally started declining, because it was too much for me to pay for. I would suggest she back out now, if the dress/shoes are not in her budget. Not saying that to be snarky. It is just odd to me than an *honor* comes with such a high price tag. Lol Dd got married apx 2 years ago. I paid for the dresses and tuxes (and alterations) and the group provided the rest. The dresses were floor length so they wore their own sandles. Dd asked them to wear their hair in a style that allowed for hair flowers. It was super easy for them to do thier own hair. Any parties were between dd and her friends to pay for (she helped to pay for her bachelorette party). We hope that it sets the trend for future weddings in their group. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 (edited) I was a bridesmaid 10 years ago and spent $200 on the dress + alterations. The bride paid for our shoes... Edited April 21, 2020 by alisoncooks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 (edited) my 2 oldest DS were asked to be in the wedding of a friend. The groom said they could just wear a suit they owned (2nd DS didn't own a suit but figured we could work it my borrowing one from someone as he's very averaged sized). Well then the bride decided she wanted something more formal and they should rent tuxes. The groom then chose a place where if you bring in 5 groomsmen for rentals, the groom then gets their tux for free. Great for the groom but pretty sucky for the groomsmen because you know the cost of the groom tux just gets rolled into a higher cost for the other rentals. So they each had to fork out $180 to rent a tux for a day. At least with a dress you have something to show for it. But being is a wedding is never cheap. I will say $100 for a formal dress doesn't sound too bad even though it's way more than I would normally spend. Edited April 21, 2020 by cjzimmer1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barnwife Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 Well, when we got married, I had a hard time finding bridesmaid dress for less than $150. And that's 10ish years ago. I worked really hard to keep it as close to $100 as I could get. If I remember correctly, dresses ended up being about $120 before any needed alterations. I didn't care about shoes, hair, makeup, etc...Being a bridesmaid certainly can be expensive between the dress and other things, but it doesn't have to be. That being said, I am not sure why you/your daughter is surprised at the price point you've mentioned. I think $100 for a (new) formal dress is a great deal. (And I am someone who spends as little as possible on kid's clothes, and we use hand-me-downs. I hate spending money on clothes.) However, that doesn't mean it's in the budget, and that's okay. A pp gave a nice way to back out if your daughter needs to. 4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippiemamato3 Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 $100 is super cheap for a bridesmaid dress and shoes. It's typical and expected for the wedding party to pay for their own attire. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BusyMom5 Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 Agreeing that $100 is very affordable for a formal wedding dress and shoes. If your family cannot afford it, the best thing to do would be to politely back out now. Use the virus as an excuse if you need to. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 Another vote that the cost is very reasonable in the scope of things, but I agree that if it's not in her budget, it's not and she should gracefully decline before going on - especially because she'll likely have to chip in for various other things like the shower and the bachelorette party. But definitely do it understanding that they're not asking anything unusual or extravagant in the clothes budget - she just didn't realize, that's all. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 It is a good price even for ugly bridesmaid dress and shoes. I personally despise the tradition of making your friends pay for the privilege of being in your wedding. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 Am I the only one not liking the idea of paying now for a dress that we really don't know if anyone is going to get a chance to wear, given the current circumstances? How big is the wedding? Is she sure she will be able to have it? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoeless Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 2 hours ago, Ktgrok said: Am I the only one not liking the idea of paying now for a dress that we really don't know if anyone is going to get a chance to wear, given the current circumstances? How big is the wedding? Is she sure she will be able to have it? No, you aren't the only one. If I was a bride now, I'd be looking at a dramatically scaled down wedding. Even if it's safe for people to gather, they may not have the money to attend a big wedding. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 1 hour ago, MissLemon said: No, you aren't the only one. If I was a bride now, I'd be looking at a dramatically scaled down wedding. Even if it's safe for people to gather, they may not have the money to attend a big wedding. here in Aus at the moment a wedding can only have 5 people total. that includes the people getting married and the person performing the service. a funeral can have 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 (edited) I think $100 is pretty reasonable for a formal dress. That said, my girls have never paid that much for a bridesmaid dress, and I think the bride should have a little insight as to whether the dresses she chooses are affordable for those in her wedding. I think you can do things simply and rather inexpensively but still with class. The bridesmaid dresses my dd's have bought probable ranged between $35 and $75. When my dd was married, we got really lovely bridesmaid dresses on clearance at Nordstrom's for around $35. (The bridesmaids were all my other dd's, so we paid for all of them.) My dd's wedding dress was just $100. That said, I don't really have strong feelings about it either way (as far as it being a very fancy, spendy wedding or a nice, simple one). Couples have different priorities and that's fine, but they really should consider what's affordable for the wedding party. ETA: And if it's not easily affordable for the wedding party, the couple should foot the bill. Edited April 21, 2020 by J-rap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 8 hours ago, BakersDozen said: it. I understand that weddings typically warrant a bit more expense and that it's a bride's "moment", but seeing the cost of the dress and shoes (cheaply made, sold on Amazon, but not cheaply priced) is really making me cringe. Our daughter does not have a job and her savings, which she has worked so hard to build, is not something she wants to dip into for an ugly pink dress and white sandals she may not even find comfortable (my thoughts, not hers). I spend about $100/kid on clothes for the year so seeing the same dollar amount for an outfit for one day is somewhat hard. The bride's grandparents are self-made millionaires who live next door to her and she's the first grandchild to get married...funds are not an issue for her. But for the other families/girls in her bridal party (we are friends with all of them), this is not a good time for such expenditures! I think backing out is a perfectly acceptable thing to do, particularly with the state of the world. I do agree with others that this is probably the least expensive anyone could even hope to see for a formal wedding, even though it may not work for some budgets. I’m only reiterating it because I want to point out that, by your descriptors, it sounds like the bride may have truly worked hard to make it that way, so it might take her off guard. It seems as though she’s someone who might expect a very lavish production, but chose a $100 Amazon dress to better suit the situations of her closest female relationships. Still okay to back out, but I’d be careful not to make her feel like a clod when she’s tried to do right by her bridal party more than 90% of brides do! (I made up that statistic, but I’m confident in it.) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 We were the couple who covered the cost of clothes and a flight from another state (my parents hosted my bridesmaid at their house and covered her meals and transportation) so our small wedding party wouldn't be put out in any way other than time. I let the maid of honor choose the dress for herself (any style, any color as long as it was short dress) and the for the from out of town bridesmaid. No bridal shower (I loathe showers of all kinds) and no bachelorette party either for the same reason. Ugh! No thanks! We were glad to do it and had a very simple, frugal $2,000 wedding in 1993. So I completely understand where you're coming from. That said, $100 for a bridesmaid outfit is definitely in the frugal category these days. She's not obligated to accept a request to be in anyone's wedding. She can simply tell the truth, "It's out of my budget to buy the outfit, so I'm very sorry that I won't be able to be in your wedding. I'm so happy for you guys and wish you all the best!" Then the bride can either say something along the lines of, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you'll be able to be there as a guest." or she'll offer to cover the cost. Either way is perfectly acceptable. I would be asking questions about what the bride has planned should the quarantine continue or be reinstated in the future if she lives where the quarantine is lifted and a resurgence happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippiemamato3 Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 12 hours ago, BakersDozen said: The last time any of my girls was in a wedding was when my oldest were flower girls. The bride-to-be paid for the dresses. One of my daughters was asked to be a bridesmaid and she responded in the affirmative before finding out some details...and now those details have her blinking a bit. I understand that weddings typically warrant a bit more expense and that it's a bride's "moment", but seeing the cost of the dress and shoes (cheaply made, sold on Amazon, but not cheaply priced) is really making me cringe. Our daughter does not have a job and her savings, which she has worked so hard to build, is not something she wants to dip into for an ugly pink dress and white sandals she may not even find comfortable (my thoughts, not hers). I spend about $100/kid on clothes for the year so seeing the same dollar amount for an outfit for one day is somewhat hard. The bride's grandparents are self-made millionaires who live next door to her and she's the first grandchild to get married...funds are not an issue for her. But for the other families/girls in her bridal party (we are friends with all of them), this is not a good time for such expenditures! Since our girl already agreed I guess there's no good way to get out of this, right? So frustrating... I have a great appreciation for those brides who keep things simple (and useful...the dresses look like something a 4-year old would dress up in) or pay for the attire. $100 per kid for clothes is amazingly cheap - I have no idea how you'd even do that. Also, again, a $100 bridesmaid dress doesn't mean one isn't keepign things "simple." I'd say that's as simple as you can get if you're having a formal wedding. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sneezyone Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 (edited) My cousin's big, formal wedding is currently scheduled for August 1. I'm not sure they've decided what to do about that yet. $100 for the dress and shoes seems like a steal to me. If it's too much tho, the young lady should say so. If they are really good friends and the bride wants her in the wedding anyway, they may even offer to cover the cost for her. Edited April 21, 2020 by Sneezyone 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bootsie Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 DD was in a friend's wedding in December. Bride gave bridesmaids a color and each attendant could choose her own dress--but then problems arose: the bride said "maroon" and then complained that dresses were "burgundy" or "wine colored" or "red" and would send a picture on her phone of the precise color she meant, not realizing that lighting or sheen of fabric can make a huge difference. DD ending up having to buy a second dress. DD balked when the bride requested that each attendant spend $50 on a hairstyle and $75 on makeup application. (DD doesn't even own a tube of lipstick--spending anything on makeup is a waste to her and she thinks she looks horrible with makeup on). The maid of honor arranged a bridesmaid's bonding weekend out of town (DD was in a foreign country so got out of spending money on that one). Then the attendants were going in together to purchase a gift--a natural family planning kit that cost over $500; a couple of the bridesmaids finally got that nixed. The bride wanted all of the bridesmaids from out of town to be there at least two days before the wedding, which would have meant a minimum of three nights of hotel costs; this was over Christmas holidays when we had family plans, so DD said she could not go until the day before the wedding. At one point the bride suggested that all of the bridesmaids needed to purchase a dirndl to wear for a special dance at the reception. At the reception, if the attendants wanted any water, they had to buy bottled water from the caterer (there was no drinking fountain). This was a friend who was from extremely modest means thinking that she was keeping costs down. DD has three more friends planning weddings within the next year and is really debating whether she will accept their invitations to be a bridesmaid. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 I agree $100 is cheap as far as these things go. But if it doesn't work for your daughter, it doesn't work and she should just say it's not going to work before getting any closer to the event. I also agree it is dicey to be planning a large event that may require travel for people in the next 6-9 months. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 1 hour ago, hippiemamato3 said: $100 per kid for clothes is amazingly cheap - I have no idea how you'd even do that. Also, again, a $100 bridesmaid dress doesn't mean one isn't keepign things "simple." I'd say that's as simple as you can get if you're having a formal wedding. Yes, can we talk more about this? Just buying new underthings and socks for my kids (things I don't hand down) runs $50+ for my boys, and more for my girls. Even at thrift store prices, a new coat is $20, jeans are $12 and shirts are $10ish. We haven't even touched on shoes yet....last year my dd went from a size 6 to a size 9.5 in women's. I didn't even buy every size... I hand down what I can, but it doesn't put me anywhere near being able to make $100/year/kid work. How do you work this magic? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 (edited) 41 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said: Yes, can we talk more about this? Just buying new underthings and socks for my kids (things I don't hand down) runs $50+ for my boys, and more for my girls. Even at thrift store prices, a new coat is $20, jeans are $12 and shirts are $10ish. We haven't even touched on shoes yet....last year my dd went from a size 6 to a size 9.5 in women's. I didn't even buy every size... I hand down what I can, but it doesn't put me anywhere near being able to make $100/year/kid work. How do you work this magic? Not who you directed this at but since her numbers are close to mine I'll share. First I do use hand me down underwear and socks and they are used till they are worn out. So most things get through 2-3 kids. Also I always buy a size larger than they need so they get maximum use out of it. The prices you mentioned as thrift store prices are very generous and can easily be found for clearance items at Walmart, Target and Kohls. Prices I pay at a large resale I attend are more like $8 for a winter coat, $6 for a spring coat, jeans are $3-4, shirts are $2-3. Shoes, each kid gets 2 pairs per year. One pair tennis shoes and one pair sandals. I buy them at Walmart if I can't find used. Most of the time we are home and no one wears shoes in the house and seldom when in the yard. For home use clothes with small holes are used for yard work/outdoor play. Pants with ripped knees are cut-off and turned into shorts. They do have a few nice things for going to church and out and about but since we are generally home, older clothes work just fine for that. I do occasionally buy boots but they are handed down no matter the gender, so sometimes the boys wear boots with a pink stripe or the girls wear something more boyish. These are only used for play at our house so it really doesn't matter. My youngest is using boots his oldest brother (and everyone in between) has worn. Also we run laundry every single day, so we don't need lots of clothes per person. 5-6 outfits per person is plenty. Edited April 21, 2020 by cjzimmer1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyroo Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 8 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said: Yes, can we talk more about this? Just buying new underthings and socks for my kids (things I don't hand down) runs $50+ for my boys, and more for my girls. Even at thrift store prices, a new coat is $20, jeans are $12 and shirts are $10ish. We haven't even touched on shoes yet....last year my dd went from a size 6 to a size 9.5 in women's. I didn't even buy every size... I hand down what I can, but it doesn't put me anywhere near being able to make $100/year/kid work. How do you work this magic? Not the OP, but thrift store prices vary considerably. Around here (western Michigan), we have a robust network of thrift stores. I can get to 7 thriving Goodwill stores all within a 20 minute drive of my house. I can get a very good condition, name brand, kids' winter coat for $5-6. Kids' jeans are $2, adult jeans at ~$5. Kids' shirts are $2, adult shirts are ~$4. My kids have WAAAAYYYY more clothes than they need, but realistically they could easily get by with 4 pairs each of jeans and shorts, 6 each of long and short sleeve shirts, 2 pairs of pajamas, a modest supply of socks and undies, plus outerwear. I could buy a child 4 pairs of pants, 6 sweatshirts, a pair of pajamas, a winter coat, snow pants, gloves and hat at our thrift stores in the fall for ~$40. Add in 5-6 pairs each of new socks and undies for another $15. Then in the spring 4 pairs of shorts, 6 t-shirts, a pair of pajamas and a spring coat at the thrift stores for ~$25 and another $15 to replace wearing out socks and undies. That comes to a total of $95, and does not account for passing any clothes down to younger siblings...in my experience, jeans live a hard life and can only occasionally be passed down as scrappy-looking play clothes, but shirts, PJs and outer wear can almost always be passed down saving a lot of money. Granted, that does not take into account shoes. I spend about $50 per kid on shoes each year. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 I am totally jealous. The thrift store scene here is bleak. There is a Goodwill 20 min away, and I listed its prices. Salvation Army closed a couple of years ago because building rental prices were so high. Our Walmart carries groceries only. I can drive an hour to an outlet mall and find clearance there, but there is usually very little at Target clearance. I try to time sales there well to stock up on clothes. 3/4 of my kids are in adult sizes now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 I don't even spend $100/kid/year. I probably spend around $300 on clothes for all 6 kids and most of that is on the oldest two. This is done mostly with hand me downs from previous siblings and friends give us tons of hand me downs. Anything I still need I go to multiple goodwills in the area on their $2 Tuesdays, where adult clothes $2 and kids clothes are $1. I am incredibly picky with their clothes so even with only paying $1 I don't by cheap brands so most pants I buy for $1 will last at least 3 kids (I hand my clothes off too my sil's kids and she passing things back to me.) I also go to consignment sales twice a year to fill in anything missing. I generally don't spend more than $5 for and item at those sales. But the average amount I spend per item at those is $2. This year is actually going to be more expensive because Goodwill and consignment sales are closed and I need summer clothes for some of my kids. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 38 minutes ago, hjffkj said: Anything I still need I go to multiple goodwills in the area on their $2 Tuesdays, where adult clothes $2 and kids clothes are $1. I jealous! They got rid of our $1 kids clothing here years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 My DD said no to being a bridesmaid while in college. The wedding was on the west coast, we live on the east coast. Plus it was in December, a few days after Christmas. The bride was very understanding when DD declined. I’m the bride will be very understanding.😊 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 1 hour ago, cintinative said: jealous! They got rid of our $1 kids clothing here years ago. They actually experimented with getting rid of it but it ended up with all the local goodwills being overrun with clothing because people stopped buying as often. I basically stopped shopping at goodwill for a year or so because it wasn't worth my time hunting through tons of poor quality clothes to spend $4 per good quality shirt. I could just go to a consignment sale at spend $4/shirt and know it was high quality and no stains since they are very strict with sellers about stains. Eventually they started having the sales every 6 weeks or so. Then it was back to at least once a month and weekly at the end of seasons. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 Even with how little we spend on clothing in our house I still think $100 for a dress and shoes for being in a wedding is a great deal! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 There are likely to be other costs involved- often the bridesmaids throw a bachelorette party and host a shower. And many times the day of the wedding involves all the bridal party getting hair and makeup professionally done....sometimes makeup, too. It adds up quickly. And your Dd will need clothes for those events plus the rehearsal dinner, unless she already has nicer clothing to wear. Hope it works out for her. A lot of people can’t afford to shoulder that kind of expense but are too embarrassed to speak up. It’s ok to love the bride but not be willing to spend that much for her special day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 On a related topic, here's a trend that could really work for a bride trying to both keep the costs to bridesmaids down and increase the likelihood the bridesmaids can find a dress they can afford and that flatters them. By giving the bridesmaids a color palette they can choose from and being flexible about the styles, everyone involved can win. Mix and Match/ Mismatched Bridesmaids: https://www.wednova.com/blog/14-mismatched-bridesmaid-dresses-color-palettes-from-real-weddings.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 (edited) I think reasonable folks will understand if she declines. Edited October 2, 2020 by Carolina Wren 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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