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I will lie right through my teeth....


MaBelle
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this Thanksgiving if my sil says she is going to bring her dressing.  There is no way I'm going to serve that mushy, sluicey, gooey goop this year.  Last year son in law could barely stand the smell of it on the table.  It's nasty, got oysters in it.  Her mother made it too.  Enough years of this.  It reminds me of cat hairballs.

"No, thanks but someone has already asked to make the dressing this year."

I guess it won't really be a lie because I'm asking to make it myself!!!

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6 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

It’s a Pacific Northwest thing for sure. My grandma used to make it.

I spent 47 years in the PNW having Thanksgiving with many different people and thankfully never came across an oyster dressing. I’ve never heard of it.  OP, I’d lie as well; that sounds disgusting....and I like oysters... but in a dressing? No. 🤮

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I've never cooked or been served oysters in dressing, but I've seen lots of recipes for it over the years. 

OP, you lie the way I do. It's not lying at all.  If I was still having Thanksgiving (or any holiday) dinner with my sister, I would be lying all the time because I don't like the things she cooks. But then she would be lying all the time too, because I make things she finds horrifying.  "Kale gratin? KALE? On Christmas?"  

Best that we are too far apart geographically to share holidays. But it's also OK to like and dislike different things. 

 

Edited by marbel
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I’ve never had it but after this conversation, I want to try it. We celebrate Thanksgiving with friends and last year, the dressings weren’t that good. One was Stove Top, with added bacon😳then crisped on the grill. Zero stars, IMHO. The next, made by my DD’s, MIL, some family favorite but not to my taste. I never make or eat dressing unless it’s a holiday. I’m thinking I need to change this🧐

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3 hours ago, HSmomof2 said:

I spent 47 years in the PNW having Thanksgiving with many different people and thankfully never came across an oyster dressing. I’ve never heard of it.  OP, I’d lie as well; that sounds disgusting....and I like oysters... but in a dressing? No. 🤮

 

Where my family settled on the coast, literally going back to the turn of the century, there were many Scandinavian immigrants. Oysters, pickled fish and other things were part of the local diet. My family members all enjoy raw oysters and my grandpa and grandma always made oyster dressing. I, personally, never touched the stuff. My Dad's mother taught my mom to cook and there was nary an oyster in sight.

Edited by Sneezyone
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I grew up with oyster dressing in coastal NC -- my grandma made it. And though I never ate it, I don't remember it looking so very wet or repulsive...or smelling.

And as far as dressing vs. stuffing, I've never actually seen anyone cook/serve/put it inside the turkey. It's always a side dish. 

Edited by alisoncooks
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1 minute ago, happysmileylady said:

 That was how I grew up with it, which is probably where some of my uncertainty regarding “stuffing” vs “dressing” comes from.  In my family it was always both. 

Oh, sorry, I wasn't necessarily responding to your use of the word. It was a general reflection on the term (which is used pretty interchangeably in my circle). 😛 I've never actually seen anyone put ANY sort of dressing/stuffing inside the turkey, except on tv!

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4 hours ago, happysmileylady said:

We started hosting Thanksgiving when DH and I bought our first hours.  We cooked the turkey, and assigned sides to everyone.  By the time we got to SIL and her DH, I was kind of running out of sides because everyone had things they wanted to bring.  My mom was bringing stuffing and pies, so SIL said "well, I can bring pumpkin bread and some sausage and oyster dressing."  And I was like, um ok.  I knew what her pumpkin bread was from the year before when we went to Thanksgiving at her ILs house.  But I had literally never heard of sausage dressing, oyster dressing, or sausage and oyster dressing....I only bare that by "dressing" she meant "stuffing."  Turns out it was two different dressings, one sausage and one oyster.

No one else in my family had any idea what she had brought.  I don't think anyone touched it.  I kind of felt bad, and I tried to choke it down, but it was so dry it was like crutons....with oysters.   She never did volunteer to bring it again.  She does however bring pumpkin bread every year, that stuff is great!  And then I also usually ask her to get some 2 liters or something.  

 

 

All of this reminds me, I need to finish assigning dishes.  My brother wasn't at my DD11's party yesterday and my sister was there but was only barely functioning.

 

 

I am hosting this year and I don’t assign dishes. People respond with what they would like to bring. In the next couple days, I am going to send out a summary email and the couple people who haven’t offered yet can pick from the remaining categories or items. 

 

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1 hour ago, Arctic Mama said:

Us too. It’s inside the bird and side dish because of the amount, but the inside the bird stuffing is always better - it absorbs all the day and juices 😋 

Same. I've started drizzling turkey drippings over the stuffing in the side dish to compensate, with or without a bit of melted butter. 

My dad mixes them together after cooking in one giant bowl - otherwise everyone eats the in bird stuff and no one eats the other 

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11 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

Huh. I guess maybe in Texas we don't qualify as "south" on our coast, because this is totally not something I've seen. I'm going to have to canvas my friends and ask! 

"Coastal South" usually means Atlantic Ocean coastal south, not Gulf of Mexico coastal. 🙂

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5 hours ago, Ellie said:

Yes, exactly. I don’t want to be like Marney. And I have one relative who is like Marney, so even less do I want to be like that. 

Fortunately, there are no tragic cooks in our family; most do pretty well, at least with a few items, and the one avowed hate-to-cook person has the good sense to bring rolls or something. 

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We have had Thanksgiving for 10 years with another family.  We have loved it every year, but my kids begged to not go last year, and I welcomed the opportunity to make it a low key, quite, simple Thansgiving at home.  

We said we were going out of town, and that was the original plan, but plans changed and we ended up alone, at home, and didn't tell our friends.  I don't really consider it lying, since it was true at the time we said it.

And I don't consider your plan lying.  Your SIL has asked that you make it.  There ya go.

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9 hours ago, Seasider too said:

 

Well I am a Gulf Coaster (raised on the gulf coast) and we say Coastal South, so..... It distinguishes us from the Deep South; once you hit the coast there’s a different feel.

Maybe Texas people don’t use that term? I’ve heard it and used it in every state from Louisiana to Florida. 

I live in Texas, although not on the coast (Austin area), and I've never heard it used.

I don't know the difference between "coastal south" and "deep south." o_0 I'm originally from Norfolk, Virginia, and have spent much time on the OBX because I have family there, too.

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21 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

Huh. I guess maybe in Texas we don't qualify as "south" on our coast, because this is totally not something I've seen. I'm going to have to canvas my friends and ask! 

Alabama doesn't count either.  My grandma would say  "I never heard of such of thing in all my born days!"

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2 hours ago, FuzzyCatz said:

Are you hosting?  I think it's fair as the hostess to say "If you'd like to bring something, bring A,B, or C.   I have everything else covered."  And that does sound very gross!

Yep. I always host Thanksgiving and Christmas.  We have the biggest family and the most room so family singles and such just come here. 

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16 hours ago, alisoncooks said:

Oh, sorry, I wasn't necessarily responding to your use of the word. It was a general reflection on the term (which is used pretty interchangeably in my circle). 😛 I've never actually seen anyone put ANY sort of dressing/stuffing inside the turkey, except on tv!

It was tradition in my family to stuff the bird. We always had both stuffing (cooked in the turkey) and dressing but the reason was because we all love it and the amount in the turkey was never enough. Hence, we always made extra on the side. These days it's only dressing, but it's only been about the last 10 years or so we stopped stuffing the turkey.

10 hours ago, Ellie said:

"Coastal South" usually means Atlantic Ocean coastal south, not Gulf of Mexico coastal. 🙂

Yeah, I"ve never heard of it as referring to the Gulf Coast states. I always think of it as the coast of the Carolinas, Virginia, and Maryland. Having lived in Florida for 50 years and all of them on the east coast, I've never heard it referred to as being part of the Coastal South. 

2 hours ago, FuzzyCatz said:

Are you hosting?  I think it's fair as the hostess to say "If you'd like to bring something, bring A,B, or C.   I have everything else covered."  And that does sound very gross!

This. The host gets to decide what she/he is providing and asks people to bring other dishes. @MaBelle I agree with others that you don't have to lie, but sometimes holidays are about trying not to hurt feelings. If sil is proud of her stuffing then your plan sounds like the best way to handle it.

I've heard of oyster dressing but never tasted it. I hate dressing or stuffing with liver in it. Blech! Some people say you can't really taste the livers but those of us who hate liver will respond with "Oh yes, you definitely can!" 😄 

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5 hours ago, katilac said:

Texas is not part of the south. Texas is . . . Texas. 

Oh, yeah, Texas it totally a Southern state. Not only is it one of the 11 Confederate states, its cultural is totally Southern. Now, if you go way west to El Paso, it isn't Southern so much, but it's still part of Texas.

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3 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

People put liver in stuffing?!?!!? That should totally be illegal. That's the meanest trick ever. 

It's the giblets that come in a little baggie with the bird. They're cooked separately to make a tasty broth for making gravy, and some people chop 'em up and mix them into the gravy.

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6 hours ago, katilac said:

Louisiana here and yes, oyster dressing is fairly common. Not as much as it used to be. 

Texas is not part of the south. Texas is . . . Texas. 

My grandmother was from Louisiana, and her dressing recipe calls for rice and oysters.

Texas was a Confederate state, but I know what you mean.  East Texas feels southern to me, pine trees and all.

I've heard it said that President Johnson was from the west and his wife Ladybird was from the south, though they were both native Texans.  He was from a town west of Austin and she was from East Texas, not too far from Louisiana.

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4 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

People put liver in stuffing?!?!!? That should totally be illegal. That's the meanest trick ever. 

We don't put it in stuffing (which we call dressing), but a big thing around here for a quick lunch or snack is to buy chicken livers from the gas station. Po-boys, chicken livers, and fried chicken are gas station staples, lol. My in-laws were really dubious when we first told them that the gas station was truly the best place to pick up po-boys but they have been converted. 

I love me some BBQ chicken livers!

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4 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

People put liver in stuffing?!?!!? That should totally be illegal. That's the meanest trick ever. 

 

3 hours ago, Lady Florida. said:

Yep. Liver from the turkey gizzard pack. My mom always cooked that stuff up and gave it to our dog. 😄 

My brother is a great cook and hosted holiday’s for both sides of their family together for years.  His mil demanded stuffing made with everything in that pack except the neck.  He had to roast the neck for her separately.  She did take the neck home to eat with her leftovers thankfully. He served her stuffing in a special recognizable bowl and announced very carefully that it was her favorite so everyone would remember to stay clear.  I think Dh was a bit traumatized in fear of getting her food by accident!  I reminded Dh that he never wanted anything that was Vicki’s “favorite” before every meal.

Side note:  I have never gotten that special package in a turkey purchased in England but I check very carefully.😉

 

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4 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

People put liver in stuffing?!?!!? That should totally be illegal. That's the meanest trick ever. 

 

24 minutes ago, katilac said:

We don't put it in stuffing (which we call dressing), but a big thing around here for a quick lunch or snack is to buy chicken livers from the gas station. Po-boys, chicken livers, and fried chicken are gas station staples, lol. My in-laws were really dubious when we first told them that the gas station was truly the best place to pick up po-boys but they have been converted. 

I love me some BBQ chicken livers!

I put the giblets in the stuffing 🙂  But the tradition in my house is the pieces are big enoug hthat you can eat around them if you don't like them. I love them. I also love fried chicken livers but they are hard to find here. There is one local fried chicken place that has them but the wait is always long so I never get them. I'd love being able to grab them at a gas station! Great for when you are feeling a bit anemic/tired/cranky!

I like Po-boys too. 

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1 hour ago, Ellie said:

It's the giblets that come in a little baggie with the bird. They're cooked separately to make a tasty broth for making gravy, and some people chop 'em up and mix them into the gravy.

My mother always did it that way, but I am not a fan. I don’t like weird bits of things in the gravy. I’m fine with cooking them into broth and making gravy from the broth but personally don’t think much of little chunks of organs in my gravy. 

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I hate oyster dressing. It's the worst! I hate oysters in general, but oyster dressing/stuffing? I'm always persuaded to take a polite bite and blech.

I don't think any of you should worry about being surprised with oyster dressing. It's always- here's the oyster dressing. Never, here's the dressing, and you find an oyster surprise. You can be surprised with liver/giblet dressing. (also yuck).

In our family we usually had at least two different stuffings (never in the bird) for people with different tastes. Couldn't you let her bring hers and you make yours and people can choose what they want?

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I would let her bring her stuffing.  Have chalkboard tags and chalk and label all the offerings so you don't have to keep warning people about the disgusting stuffing. 🙂                                             

We have oyster stuffing offered too.  I hate it, but it's tradition.  And I love tradition!

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I grew up in a landlocked state with a very local diet, so I would've been suspicious of a LOT of foods in my twenties.  My tastes developed considerably as I aged and it turns out that I like MOST things.  It would almost be a super power if I didn't super-taste some bitter flavors.  My niece once said "I've got that thing that makes brussels sprouts taste like ear wax." Apparently this is a genetic flaw that effects a lot of my family members and some of the things I don't eat fall into this category.  There are very few foods I just hate (I'm looking at YOU, blue cheese.).  The point is I like a LOT of things that initially seemed strange to me because I give new foods several chances before I dismiss them.  Some of my family loves eating at my house because I cook "so many interesting things" while some of them are suspicious of anything that would look out of place on a Cracker Barrel menu. 

Anyway  . . . oyster stuffing sounds divine, but not a gross drippy one.  I love cooked oysters in soup or breaded and fried.  I have a friend whose family goes big on the oyster stuffing.  They practically take out a loan to buy a bucket of oysters because the stuffing is what they all really care about and the turkey is incidental.  It's not an unusual dish in Maryland.  I keep meaning to make it because I'm sure I'll love it, but I never seem to get around to trying a recipe.  If anyone wants to share one they've used that calls for LESS than a bucket of oysters, I'd be grateful.

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I love oyster bacon stuffing.  I make it every year.  We didn’t have it growing up, but I made it once when DS was younger and DH and DS both requested it again the next year, and now it is our tradition.  Soooo yummy.

But really, it’s probably the bacon. Because bacon.

eta - mine is rather dry. I detest really “wet” stuffing of any kind. 

And gooey sounds gross.  Blech.

Edited by ikslo
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On 11/11/2019 at 6:26 PM, Quill said:

My mother always did it that way, but I am not a fan. I don’t like weird bits of things in the gravy. I’m fine with cooking them into broth and making gravy from the broth but personally don’t think much of little chunks of organs in my gravy. 

 

Oh, my MIL makes gravy with floaters in it.  It's a thin, watery gravy with giblets and hard-boiled eggs bobbing around.  I can't bring myself to eat it...🤢      

Edited by MissLemon
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16 hours ago, KungFuPanda said:

I grew up in a landlocked state with a very local diet, so I would've been suspicious of a LOT of foods in my twenties.  My tastes developed considerably as I aged and it turns out that I like MOST things.  It would almost be a super power if I didn't super-taste some bitter flavors.  My niece once said "I've got that thing that makes brussels sprouts taste like ear wax." Apparently this is a genetic flaw that effects a lot of my family members and some of the things I don't eat fall into this category.  There are very few foods I just hate (I'm looking at YOU, blue cheese.).  The point is I like a LOT of things that initially seemed strange to me because I give new foods several chances before I dismiss them.  Some of my family loves eating at my house because I cook "so many interesting things" while some of them are suspicious of anything that would look out of place on a Cracker Barrel menu. 

<snip>

I'm with you.  I grew up with a pretty limited diet due to finances among other things. When I was an adult living and working, I was introduced to a lot of foods I would have previously said "ewww, gross" to.  I became a pretty adventurous eater though of course there are still things I won't eat. My Mom, turns out, was an adventurous eater too, once she had the chance to be, though it didn't happen till she was in her 70s, when she came to live by me (instead of my sister who never outgrew thinking "eww gross" about unfamiliar foods).  I was glad that toward the end of her life she was able to enjoy some "exotic" foods she'd never been exposed to before.  

Edited by marbel
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3 hours ago, maize said:

I have never eaten oyster at all.

That’s illegal here! 😄 I come from a long line of Chesapeake Bay waterman. My mother was literally the oyster-shucking queen at the fair when she was a teen. 😄

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17 hours ago, katilac said:

 a big thing around here for a quick lunch or snack is to buy chicken livers from the gas station. Po-boys, chicken livers, and fried chicken are gas station staples, lol. My in-laws were really dubious when we first told them that the gas station was truly the best place to pick up po-boys but they have been converted. 

 

We have one gas station on the way home from dh's work that has chicken livers. He'll sometimes stop there and get some, He knows he only needs to buy enough for himself. That's not something he ever needs to share with me lol

17 hours ago, mumto2 said:

 

My brother is a great cook and hosted holiday’s for both sides of their family together for years.  His mil demanded stuffing made with everything in that pack except the neck.  He had to roast the neck for her separately.  She did take the neck home to eat with her leftovers thankfully. 

 

My grandmother loved turkey and chicken necks. My friends and I used to use chicken necks when we went crabbing. You tie a string around the neck and when you feel a pull, you gently bring it in, hopefully with a Florida blue crab attached. That, to me, is the only good use of a poultry neck. 😄 

16 hours ago, Quill said:

. I don’t like weird bits of things in the gravy. I’m fine with cooking them into broth and making gravy from the broth but personally don’t think much of little chunks of organs in my gravy. 

I'm with you there! 

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17 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

 

 There is one local fried chicken place that has them but the wait is always long so I never get them. I'd love being able to grab them at a gas station! Great for when you are feeling a bit anemic/tired/cranky!

 

Next time you visit your family in Merritt Island - There's a BP station in Cocoa that sells them, on U.S. 1 right off the Beeline. Dh gets them there and says they're really good. 

Edited by Lady Florida.
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13 hours ago, MissLemon said:

 

Oh, my MIL makes gravy with floaters in it.  It's a thin, water gravy with giblets and hard-boiled eggs bobbing around.  I can't bring myself to eat it...🤢      

Ok - that's disgusting. Egg in gravy???? Watery gravy? Ugh. I like the giblets, but not floating in my gravy. But egg?!?!

3 hours ago, Lady Florida. said:

Next time you visit your family in Merritt Island - There's a BP station in Cocoa that sells them, on U.S. 1 right off the Beeline. Dh gets them there and says they're really good. 

Oh man!!!!! My mom actually loves them too, so maybe I'll go there on the way to her house next time and bring them to surprise her!!!! I bet she hasn't had them in a long time - she'd love that. 

is it this one? 

 

Edited by Ktgrok
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1 hour ago, Ktgrok said:

Ok - that's disgusting. Egg in gravy???? Watery gravy? Ugh. I like the giblets, but not floating in my gravy. But egg?!?!

Oh man!!!!! My mom actually loves them too, so maybe I'll go there on the way to her house next time and bring them to surprise her!!!! I bet she hasn't had them in a long time - she'd love that. 

is it this one? 

Screen Shot 2019-11-12 at 2.08.16 PM.png

No, that's too far south. I can't find it but it's possible it's not a BP anymore. I'll have to ask dh, though he left for work already. If you're going east on 528, get off at U.S. 1 north. It's a ratty looking gas station and towing service just north of the exit on the right. It's by that road that goes to the hotel (the one on the hill that keeps changing names/owners). He hasn't been there in ages so I wonder if they closed the gas station part. I'll ask him and let you know.

 

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Lady Florida - this must be it! This is even better as it is RIGHT on the way! And google shows a little restaurant sign on the map at the BP, so makes sense it would be the one that serves food. And right next to a hotel, on US1 just off the 528. 

Ugh - it uploaded the wrong map and now I can't fix it. 

 

Screen Shot 2019-11-12 at 3.43.34 PM.png

Edited by Ktgrok
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12 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

Ok - that's disgusting. Egg in gravy???? Watery gravy? Ugh. I like the giblets, but not floating in my gravy. But egg?!?!  

 

Yep. Big hunks of egg and giblets in a thin, watery gravy.  It also looks sort of cloudy.  I guess it's a Southern thing? I have no idea. I grew up in NY.  🤷‍♂️

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