Alicia64 Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 Hi Everyone, My niece is graduating high school on 5/22. Her bday is 5/28 -- and she leaves for college in July. What is the appropriate dollar amount for a graduation gift for a niece? (I'll be sending it b/c we live very far apart.) Same question about the "get into college" gift? Do I give her both a high school graduation gift + a "get into college" gift? Help! I'm so not Miss Manners!! And thank you! Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 (edited) I don't think there is a specific amount. It depends on your relationship with her, your own finances, maybe what is customary/expected in the place you live, though if you live far apart that probably doesn't matter. Are there other nieces and nephews coming up that you will want to give gifts to as well in the future? There is no etiquette rule about how much to spend on gifts. I didn't give any of my nieces or nephews graduation gifts, or "get into college" gifts. My siblings didn't give mine any either. When we have been invited to graduation parties, we have given $20. I'm sure that sounds paltry to many, but that's what we felt that we could/should give. Edited May 7, 2019 by marbel 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 I’ve been giving nieces and nephews a graduation gift of $50. I don’t give a get into college gift. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 I generally do $50 for my friend's kids for graduation gifts. I don't have any nieces or nephews older than 4 right now, so good friend's kid is the closest I've got. 🙂 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 No gift is required. Sometimes we've sent a card with our well wishes. However, if you prefer to give a gift: Some like to give a check in the amount of the graduation year, so $20.19 this year. I agree to give what feels affordable/comfortable to you. Over time, we've given $10.00, $15.00, or $20.00 Regards, Kareni 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loowit Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 I have only had one niece that has graduated so far. I gave her a $50 gift certificate for dinner and a movie. I plan to do a similar amount for future graduations but probably in cash instead. My niece did not go away to college, but even if she had I doubt I would have done a going away to college present. We are not that close. My DD mostly got cash or gift cards for her graduation from aunts and uncles. She used the cash to help fund her college tuition. I have no idea what amount any of them were. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 14 minutes ago, Alicia64 said: Do I give her both a high school graduation gift + a "get into college" gift? That depends on your family culture/practice. On my husband’s side, no gifts were given for high school graduation, get into college, college graduation. They only do wedding gifts. On my side, we don’t do high school graduation gifts. I get “book money” as cash gift for get into college gift, “dorm money” as cash gift when I moved into my university’s dorm, college graduation cash gift to help pay for my first working wardrobe. The amount varies depending on how close the relationship is and how much disposable income my relatives have. My nieces and nephews range from 47 years old (few months older than me) to 7 years old. Some of my nephews have college age kids. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 I agree with those who've said it's really a matter of personal finance, personal relationship, and what precedent you want to set if there are other nieces/nephews (especially in the same family) coming along later. We've done more for our nieces/nephew than for just close friends or acquaintances BUT more because we're in a position to do so, and close to the family, etc. If we hadn't been able to, we wouldn't have, and it would have been okay. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Marmalade Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 Last year we sent our nephew one single gift of a check for $100 that combined HS Graduation/Get into college/19th birthday. We sent it so it would be there for his birthday in early August- just a few weeks before the start of college. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 My twin nieces received $100 each for h.s. and college graduations. We're pretty close, and my sister has always been generous with gifts to my kids. (And I have to say, I participated in one of those birthday fundraisers on Facebook recently, and both girls donated quite a bit to it! I was so touched. Maybe that's beside the point.) I have a nephew who is graduating from 8th grade. I'll give him $25. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 We gave our nieces and nephews $100 for high school graduation. We don't get them birthday gifts, and I've never heard of get into college gifts. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambam Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 My youngest is graduating this year. Give what you think is appropriate. From the gifts over here, I'd say $20-25 is typical from friends/non-close relatives. I've never heard of a got-into-college gift. Would you give a gift if someone just got a job instead of heading off to college? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 do you normally give her a birthday gift? really, it depends upon your budget. my kids dont' receive any gifts from relatives (rarely when mil was with-it, not at all since others have been "helping" her.) - and I don't expect my sons will for their college graduations either. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 I also think this really depends on your family, your culture, your relationships. You don't have to do anything. If it were me, I'd send $100... though most of my nephews haven't even graduated elementary school yet. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 For close friend kids we give $20. We only have two nephews so will probably give $100. Dh’s uncles gave ds $200 I think. His mother gave around $50. My mother gave more (bc she can and wanted to help him during his semester abroad.). One of my brother’s gave around $100. One gave nothing. Neither did dh’s sister. So, in our family it was all over the place and had nothing to do with relationship. We are close with everyone. I do have to say that where we live now is more into grad gifts and parties than I’ve ever seen. Do, it may be a bit regional. Give what you can give comfortably. Don’t worry too much. I was actually surprised at the amount ds was given and it was a huge blessing, but not expected at all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 I've never heard of a got-into-college gift, I definitely wouldn't do that. Actually seems a bit rude to those who go to work, lol. I'd send a graduation gift; if I normally sent a birthday gift, I'd probably send that as well, but I'd be thinking about how to let them know it's the final one 😄 Just noticing how close the two events are - I'd just send the one gift for graduation and birthday combined, just more than I'd usually send for birthday. There's no appropriate amount, imo. I send the niblings a combo of gifts and cash that equals about $100, but I wouldn't hesitate to send less if things were tight. My extended family (which is lots of people!) is big on graduation gifts, but in no way is a certain amount expected. My kids got a few cards with $5 in them, and they were happy as clams that the person thought to do that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippiemamato3 Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 $100 for graduation and usually $100 for birthday for my niece. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth S Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 (edited) I've mentioned this before, but we write a check for $20.19 for graduations, & children-of-friends weddings, etc. Yes, we all would wish it could be more . . . but at least it makes them smile when they see it. 🙂 I ramp up the sentiment by making a card & including a fond memory or other fun inscription. My love language is photos . . . so including some when they were little (with my kids) is also cheap & wonderful. Congrats to your niece! Edited May 7, 2019 by Beth S 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 Great thread, and thank you to those who mentioned $20.19! We're going to a grad party this weekend of very casual friends, and I was concerned because I can't afford a $$$ gift. But $20.19 is just so much more fun than $20! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 Miss Manners would say that there is no obligation to send any gift, much less any particular gift. If you're not filthy rich, and you're not terribly close, then I think somewhere in the range of $10 - $50 is reasonable - on the lower end of the scale if there are lots of graduations on the horizon! If you are close, then I'd also send a personal gift, like a journal or a book, something meaningful. But again, there is no obligation to give anybody presents for any occasion. As far as the birthday/graduation situation goes, I'd send the same gift you normally send for birthday separate from graduation (unless you intend now to set a precedent of never sending graduation gifts) but at the same time. If you normally send cash then write a note saying that you doubled up the present. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 3 hours ago, Bambam said: My youngest is graduating this year. Give what you think is appropriate. From the gifts over here, I'd say $20-25 is typical from friends/non-close relatives. I've never heard of a got-into-college gift. Would you give a gift if someone just got a job instead of heading off to college? You know, I might - just a little bit of cash to cover a few additions to the work wardrobe. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 Generally, $100. I don't do gifts for birthdays or anything like that for nieces/nephews/great nieces/nephews, etc. Our family is just too large. Because of that, I do a nicer graduation amount, and then nothing else til they get married. 😜 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 For nieces and nephews, we give $50. I've never heard of separate get-into-college gifts. Most people I know use their high school graduation monetary gifts towards something for college. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Familia Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 As a back to college gift (aka ‘get into college’?) I have made a homemade quilted zippered pencil case. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 I always send a check. We appreciated that when my kids graduated because there are expenses even when they are commuter students like mine. One of mine is graduating from the community college next week, but we decided not to send out announcements. My economic situation is difficult, so I've been sending $30 of late. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 I think the 5-year journals make a fun, inexpensive gift for any graduate. There's a couple of short line per day, so not overwhelming, you're meant to just quickly jot something down. https://smile.amazon.com/Celestial-One-Line-Day-Cheng/dp/1452164606/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=11CVJHVWLPIP6&keywords=line+a+day+journal&qid=1557363026&s=gateway&sprefix=line+a+day+journal%2Caps%2C185&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 I've never heard of a get into college gift. For graduation, I give $50 to the children of close friends, and $100 to nieces and nephews. If we're especially close, and they're going away to college, I get or give them something big and soft and squishy to hug while they're away at college (an oversized stuffed animal, or a body pillow, or something along those lines). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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