Janie Grace Posted July 24, 2018 Share Posted July 24, 2018 I think it's great to emphasize that fitness is more important than fitting a particular mold of attractiveness. But sometimes all of the messaging about strong girls, fit women, muscles, being fast/strong, etc. gets to me. I'm not strong and I never have been. I have low muscle tone (genetically) and though I am working on it through weight-bearing exercise, I will never have bulky muscles or be super fast. As the kid picked last in gym (because I was skinny/weak, uncoordinated), I feel for girls today where the message seems to be "athletic/strong/tough is everything." It feels sometimes that the emphasis is still on fitting a mold, and it's just that the mold has changed. Does anyone else identify with this? I'm not sure if I'm explaining it well. I guess I don't want a new "pretty/skinny/sexy." I just think the world would be better if we could aspire to be the best version of ourselves. 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted July 24, 2018 Share Posted July 24, 2018 I agree Janie. I am tired of there being a "thing" that everyone has to me. There is so much beauty in variety and it is sad that so many wonderful women think they are not desirable bc they are not whatever someone defined as "in". It's so wrong. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted July 24, 2018 Share Posted July 24, 2018 They do have a lot of messages on girl t-shirts that I don't think are really helpful. Like if you wear this shirt from Target then you are strong, fast, whatever, yay you. My youngest likes the styles but she is definitely not athletic, with or without the shirts, LOL. So basically it's just another empty affirmation. Might as well be Princess. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted July 24, 2018 Share Posted July 24, 2018 I get what you're saying, but I much prefer the idea that our bodies are made for function, rather than viewing. 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted July 24, 2018 Share Posted July 24, 2018 I prefer strong over pretty. But gosh, what about just dropping the adjectives? Not everyone can be strong, pretty, smart, talented, hard-working (fatigue issues?). I mean, I'd pick Be kind and good as adjectives, but there are people who aren't there yet, either--and don't they still have value? Don't all? IDK. smh 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 24, 2018 Share Posted July 24, 2018 Nope. Doesn't bother me. In fact, this overweight chronically ill, in pain, middle aged mama thinks that it is a good goal even though I will never achieve it in the way that a fitness model would. I embrace my inner Xena warrior woman and tackle MY health and fitness goals. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sk8ermaiden Posted July 24, 2018 Share Posted July 24, 2018 It bothers me but not for the same reason. Strong is the new pretty? Why can't you be strong AND pretty? DD does like shirts that advertise how strong and awesome she is, but we stick to ones that in no small or large way put anyone down. No shirts about boys drooling. Or if gymnastics were easy it'd be called football. Or strong being the new pretty. She has one UA she loves that says, "I can and I will." One of Kacy Catanzaro's "Ninja Girls Rock" shirts...there are a bunch of others. It's like I tell my kids - you can build yourself up without putting others down. And I can see how some women wouldn't see the strong vs. pretty shirts that way, but they've always rubbed me the wrong way. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted July 24, 2018 Share Posted July 24, 2018 But strong doesn't just mean muscle mass--to be strong is to have mental fortitude, to stretch your personal limits, to know your self worth, to reach for your goals...to be strong IS beautiful and sexy and everything else. And it's absolutely individual--it's not subjective like physical attractiveness or skinniness (hello thigh gap). To be strong is not limited to athletics. It is far more lofty a goal. :) And one I'm thrilled to see more young women take to heart. 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted July 24, 2018 Share Posted July 24, 2018 2 minutes ago, MEmama said: But strong doesn't just mean muscle mass--to be strong is to have mental fortitude, to stretch your personal limits, to know your self worth, to reach for your goals...to be strong IS to be beautiful and sexy and everything else. And it's absolutely individual--it's not subjective like physical attractiveness or skinniness (hello thigh gap). To be strong is not limited to athletics. It is far more lofty a goal. ? And one I'm thrilled to see more young women take to heart. Right, I tell my kids at appropriate times that they are strong - when they are worried about how they will get through something etc. I don't want it to be a slogan. It will lose its meaning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysteryJen Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 I think since it seems that retailers are using the slogan of "strong is the new pretty" to sell workout clothes, it pretty much is about physical and athletic strength. We women who are old enough to understand the strength it really takes to be a woman are reading things into the slogan that girls and teens aren't. I don't really like the slogan because now it is Just Another Thing that girls have to be to be pretty. It is being fit, or an athlete AND using makeup expertly AND being sexy for guys AND being smart. It is just another way girls have to succeed. No one is making shirts for boys that say "Elegance is the new handsome." I know my strength. I can work all day. I have birthed five children, and buried two babies. I have earned wisdom. But I also have 10 extra pounds, wrinkles, grey hair. Not prettiness. The slogan is just another way to put societal expectations on girls who will carry different sorts of failures into adulthood. Wow, I guess I really don't like that slogan. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysteryJen Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 I saw that book at the library and leafed through it. I think this is an example where women and girls, especially teens, have different reactions. Sporty girls and tomboys and princesses and every kind of girl is lovely. My girls didn’t appreciate the implication that athletic girls were in need of a campaign to convince people that they are pretty. That was their takeaway from that slogan. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 5 minutes ago, Dotwithaperiod said: https://www.amazon.com/Strong-New-Pretty-Celebration-Themselves/dp/0761189130 Looks like it originated with this best seller, she’s got one associated with it coming out in a couple months, and one about boys. Like the others, I've never associated that slogan simply with athleticism. I am far from athletic, never was, but if you read the chapter titles in the link above, I was a lot of those things and never saw myself as particularly attractive as a teen. I certainly was never "girly." I had/have huge body image hang ups that stem from the pretty/thin/sexy rhetoric I grew up with. My idea of womanly/feminine developed with the old paradigm, one I did not fit and felt outcast because of that. I did not learn how to embrace my own self until I was in my 30s. My mom is almost 82. She was pretty, outgoing, thin. Her physical being has always been things I was not. Now she is older, she is still pretty and thin, but the 80 year old version. What continues to shine is her inner strength, a fortitude that is inspiring. It may be a trendy slogan, but if it encourages people to stop defining girls by their physical bodies, I'm okay with that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 2 hours ago, Sk8ermaiden said: Strong is the new pretty? Why can't you be strong AND pretty? You can be. It doesn't say, Be strong instead of pretty! It is saying that aspiring to be strong (not just physically strong) is something that is coming to be valued as much as aspiring to be pretty. That's fine with me. Girls certainly don't need additional encouragement to aspire to prettiness. 2 hours ago, Chris in VA said: I prefer strong over pretty. But gosh, what about just dropping the adjectives? Not everyone can be strong, pretty, smart, talented, hard-working (fatigue issues?). I mean, I'd pick Be kind and good as adjectives It does use kind as an adjective! The slogan comes from a book title, Strong is the New Pretty: A Celebration of Girls Being Themselves. It has a very supportive, accepting message for girls doing different things and being themselves. Each chapter is titled ">adjective< Is Strong" with the following things being listed as strong: confident, wild, resilient, creative, determined, kind, fearless, joyful, independent. Whatever type of girl you are, you can be strong! The book is not asking you to be all the things. It's showing powerful images of girls being themselves, and saying, this is awesome. It's showing images of girls that they don't get to see often enough. It's saying that there are many ways of being a girl. Not everyone is going to read the book, so important parts of the message can get lost, but it's still a pretty positive one without the nuances. I hope seeing the slogan on a t-shirt (or in this thread!) will lead some people to check out the book. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 I'm not really keen on any of those kinds of slogans. It seems to be trying to turn these personal qualities, people, into branded slogans to sell, orby. Like a ready made way to define yourself. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 My daughter was flipping through that book at yoga the other evening. I just ordered it for her. Thanks for the reminder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 I like it better than skinny being the ideal target. Skinny is not bad at all if you are naturally built that way, but if you aren't then it puts quite a lot of pressure on a girl. I would rather see girls working out and trying to be fit/strong than starving themselves. Neither is ideal. There shouldn't be a type that we aim for, but fit is the lesser of two evils. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 I had not heard strong is the new skinny or sexy, so I googled. Strong is the new skinny had a lot more actual products and memes. All of the images and products I found featured adult women. Yes, many of them were referring soley to physical strength, but imo that's an acceptable riff on the original for adult women motivating themselves to get to the gym and lift, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Targhee Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 3 hours ago, alisoncooks said: I get what you're saying, but I much prefer the idea that our bodies are made for function, rather than viewing. This! And the book for girls “Strong is the New Pretty” is not just about physical fitness but about being capable and mentally strong. I think equating strong with fit is terribly problematic. I’m not fit, I would like to be more fit for my own health, but I feel no pressure to be fit. I feel sorry for anyone who feels they must bug fit, not because I think I’m above them but because I would hate to suffer through someone else’s expectations. I do however identify with the word strong. I think equating strong with capable is fabulous. I’m all for it. I want my daughters to know that their strength if character, of integrity, of determination, of ingenuity, of resilience, of fortitude, and of compassion are all valuable and worth cultivating. So is physical health, but that you measure by how you feel (not how you look or what someone else wants). As to the t-shirt slogans, the ones that get me are “Girls are the Future” and the like. What!?! What happened to equality, partnering, and the value of diversity? Girls are the Future is anti boys, and I don’t like that at all. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bethben Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 I’m getting strong! I’m finally one of the cool kids! I never really made the pretty list (I’m not “unfortunate” but no one is going to offer me model contracts ever) and I’m too flat chested for sexy. I joined a CrossFit gym to be able to take care of my disabled son more long term and try better to avoid a genetic disposition to osteoporosis. I’m a lot stronger although looking at me you wouldn’t know it. I actually lifted my son vertically about a foot and was so thrilled because I’ve had to do that in the past and wasn’t able to. I’m finally in the cool persons crowd! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sk8ermaiden Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 39 minutes ago, katilac said: You can be. It doesn't say, Be strong instead of pretty! It is saying that aspiring to be strong (not just physically strong) is something that is coming to be valued as much as aspiring to be pretty. That is definitely not how I have EVER heard the saying "XXX is the new XXX" used by anyone, so that's probably why we're reading it as two VERY different things. And also, while you can find anything on the internet - in stores I have ONLY ever seen the expression on workout clothes, regardless of what the originator of the phrase intended it as. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 36 minutes ago, Sk8ermaiden said: And also, while you can find anything on the internet - in stores I have ONLY ever seen the expression on workout clothes, regardless of what the originator of the phrase intended it as. I've never actually seen it on anything in real life! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 I'd like to live in a world where pretty is irrelevant. Nothing needs to be the new pretty. 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 I've never been inclined to get excited about trends, and our culture seems to swing from one extreme to the other. But, I do think "strong" for women has a lot of good intention behind it, and it wouldn't even occur to me that physical strength was involved. I'm not a physically strong person either, at all! Teaching our girls to be strong to me means being assertive and standing up for what you think is right. But, I DON'T like if it's being equated with being pretty, skinny, or sexy. It's the heart that counts, not what you see on the outside. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 ? I have a "Strong is the New Pretty" tank top. I found it at Goodwill and wear it to the gym to lift weights ? As I think that message conveys I'm here for business and not trying to look attractive for dudes. I don't take it to mean just physical strength. I have a quote about strength in my sig line and it certainly doesn't apply just to the physical. When I put that quote in it was in a time of emotional hardship and going through that time while working on getting physically stronger at the same time was really helpful to me. With my own daughters, I encourage them to be fit and strong and healthy because being active is vital and I don't want them to think the goal of being active is to be skinny. I also encourage them to celebrate their differences. My oldest daughter is curvy like me. She has big strong thighs, she nicknamed herself Wonderthighs years ago. When she goes to run she says, "Wonderthighs activate!" DD2 is the opposite, no curves, strong all over and she can knock out pull-ups like crazy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 This makes about as much sense as me being offended by blood drive slogans like "Real Heroes Give Blood!". I can't give and that's okay. Strength is encompassing. Don't dwell on what you can't be, apply it to what you are. And I say that as the kid who was half the size of her classmates and was never being picked first (or second, or third..) for anything. I'm strong for *me*, better than I was in physical, mental, and emotional form as I have been in the past. And that's enough. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 I've never seen a t-shirt with this slogan, and the only kind of design on a t-shirt my dd cares about is a cat, but I'm not opposed to the concept. Anything that challenges people to actually think a little more deeply about what is considered attractive is a good thing, I think. And this concept has been around for centuries. It's fitting that the book and t-shirts would be sold on Amazon, right? The Amazon women warriors were mighty! ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 I just don't like the whole slogan thing. I don't believe it does anything except make the merchandisers richer. Not saying it hurts anything either. I'm just not a fan. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 I think it's an overall positive message. But no ideal is going to apply to everyone. I'm a weakling too. But I'm also fat, so I'll never fit the ideal. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted July 25, 2018 Share Posted July 25, 2018 I am not into those kinds of trends (home decor trends - yes).. but I have to say being strong is awesome - mentally strong, academically strong, spiritually strong, physically strong are always among my goals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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