What do you do when you can't sleep?

[klmama]

I went to bed at 11 and couldn't sleep. I got back up at midnight. Two in the morning, and I'm finally getting sleepy. I need a better plan for when this happens. What do you do, either to get to sleep or to pass the time when you can't?

 

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[Trilliumlady]

Too funny! Apparently I give up trying, come downstairs, wrap myself in a cozy blanket and check out the chat forums. Usually I try to tough it out and stay in bed trying to sleep but I think this is getting to be a monthly thing connected to my cycle so I might just give in to it and have some quiet time of my own doing this or reading.

[Laura Corin]

I meditate.  I go to the Calm app, and do their free half-hour body scan, lying in bed.  When it's finished, I turn over and imagine taking my dog for her familiar walk: putting her lead on, tying my shoes, opening the door - lots of detail.  By the time I get half way up the road, I'm usually asleep.

Edited January 10, 2018 by Laura Corin

[Rachel]

Check the boards!

 

When I was pregnant with number three my trick was watching Fraiser. I’d go out to the living room and turn on an episode and eventually my mind would quiet enough that I could sleep.

[lllll]

nm

Edited January 15, 2018 by .....

[Pawz4me]

Read in bed on my Kindle.

Use my iPad in bed and read the forums or surf the 'net.

Get up and use my laptop to do the above.

Stay in the cozy bed and try to meditate myself back to sleep.

 

Which I choose depends on my level of "can't sleep."

[J-rap]

Are you unable to sleep because things are on your mind, or your body just won't fall asleep?

 

I guess either way, I simply get up again, because the harder I try the worse it becomes.  But if I get up and do something, my mind relaxes.  Also, I let go of the notion that I have to go to sleep at such and such a time in order to get so many hours in order to function the next day.  I've learned that that's actually not true.  I can get by quite easily on one night with little sleep.  Somehow, taking away that stressor helps me sleep better!  :D

 

[Night Elf]

My doctor told me to get up after 30 minutes and find something else to do that isn't stimulating, so no screens. I read until I feel tired. She told me I should periodically go back to bed to try to sleep for another 30 minutes but if I feel awake, I know I'm not going to fall asleep and I hate laying in bed awake in the middle of the night when I should be asleep.

[Pawz4me]

Are you unable to sleep because things are on your mind, or your body just won't fall asleep?

 

I guess either way, I simply get up again, because the harder I try the worse it becomes.  But if I get up and do something, my mind relaxes.  Also, I let go of the notion that I have to go to sleep at such and such a time in order to get so many hours in order to function the next day.  I've learned that that's actually not true.  I can get by quite easily on one night with little sleep.  Somehow, taking away that stressor helps me sleep better!   :D

 

The bolded is absolutely true for me, too. I've learned to accept not sleeping and tell myself "Okay, so I'll be a little tired. It won't be the first or last time I've been/will be tired. It's not a big deal." I've found that the more I cultivate an accepting attitude the more relaxed and less tired I am getting through the day, even if I don't sleep. (Cultivating an accepting attitude helps with a LOT of things! ;))

[regentrude]

I get up, putter around the house a bit, read. After an hour, I try going to bed again. If I stay in bed waiting for sleep, i just get more irritated and it never works.

[Beth S]

I go to the bathroom, then read. 

If I'm worried about something, I try to write it down, to get it out of my swirling mind.

 

And I remind myself that I am NOT up responding to the screams of a newborn needing to breasfeed. :)

[Critterfixer]

I brew a pot of tea, sit down at my laptop in the darkened kitchen and write. Sometimes I work on my novel, sometimes I play with short stories or poems. 

[Critterfixer]

The bolded is absolutely true for me, too. I've learned to accept not sleeping and tell myself "Okay, so I'll be a little tired. It won't be the first or last time I've been/will be tired. It's not a big deal." I've found that the more I cultivate an accepting attitude the more relaxed and less tired I am getting through the day, even if I don't sleep. (Cultivating an accepting attitude helps with a LOT of things! ;))

Very true. Instead of focusing on how tired I will be the next day, I try to think of the time as an especially quiet time for me to think without a lot of distractions. 

[klmama]

Thanks, all.  I envy those of you who can stay in bed and read/watch/listen to things with your phone or Kindle.  How do you manage to do that without waking your dh?  If I did something with any light or sound at all, he'd be awake for hours with me.

 

 

[OneStepAtATime]

If I am really struggling I get up and leave the room.  I usually go downstairs and read a book, get on WTM, or listen to music.  I often do some housework or pay bills.  Honestly, it helps me feel better if I get something done that I was feeling I had dropped the ball on.  It can be small.  Maybe I failed to wash the dishes or I should have folded some clothes or I really should have put away the whatever.  I get that done and I feel better.  Then I read a bit to wind down and I go back to bed.  Or I crash on the couch until morning.  Sometimes I sleep better on the couch.

[Rachel]

Thanks, all. I envy those of you who can stay in bed and read/watch/listen to things with your phone or Kindle. How do you manage to do that without waking your dh? If I did something with any light or sound at all, he'd be awake for hours with me.

Most of the time if I’m experiencing insomnia he is out of town. If he isn’t, I’ll move to the living room. Edited January 11, 2018 by Rach

[Tanaqui]

I wouldn't say I meditate in any formal sense, but I usually find that if I can't sleep it's because I'm so tired that my brain won't shut off, so I focus on shutting off my brain enough to be tired.

[Rosika]

Thanks, all.  I envy those of you who can stay in bed and read/watch/listen to things with your phone or Kindle.  How do you manage to do that without waking your dh?  If I did something with any light or sound at all, he'd be awake for hours with me.

 

When I can't sleep, I nudge my husband to see if he can help me out. LOL 

 

If he can't get up to play, I run a hot bath or take a hot shower. I just stand there until the water runs cold. It's the next best thing to sex because it hits all the same points! It helps by physically relaxing me (muscles), mentally relaxing me (I think all the thoughts that are keeping me up), emotionally relaxing me (I add epsom salts to my bath or use a lavender scrub in the shower), and just getting me to where I can try again to fall asleep. I'm usually dehydrated and burning up by that point LOL so by the time I lay down in bed it doesn't take long to pass out. 

 

But sometimes I also binge watch things on Netflix. I bought a couch specifically for this situation because I suffer from insomnia that gets worse with my hormones. I'd keep up my husband if I did anything in bed, so now I move to the couch. I keep a pillow and blanket stashed in basket next to it, and my iPad is stashed under a cushion for easy access (and to keep the kids from running off with it during the day.)

 

Some nights if the sex isn't happening and the shower doesn't work, I move to the couch. At some point I fall asleep watching Netflix. Being in the living room keeps me from sleeping in too late the next day because it's the hub of the house. People will tiptoe around until about 9, and I wake up rested enough to function that day. 

[mamaraby]

Sometimes I’ll listen to one of the free sleep stories in the Calm app. There are a few YouTube channels whose creators I find very relaxing. I’ve learned a lot about “nail enhancements†with Suzie at Nail Career Education and makeup with Emily At Beauty Broadcast. I wear neither acrylic nails nor make-up, but often find I can go to sleep fairly easily after watching a video or two. I also have a few books on my iPad that I’ll read. For the videos and sleep stories I wear earbuds and my dh is not bothered by the light. If that doesn’t work then, I’ll get up and go do something.

[FriedClams]

Take a zquil and listen to Harry Potter.

[maize]

I turn on boringish audio books or audio lectures.

[lllll]

nm 

 

Edited January 15, 2018 by .....

[EKS]

I just lie there and think.  I figure that my body is getting rest that way even if I'm not sleeping and that I will sleep better the next night.

[DoraBora]

I used to have trouble falling asleep.  When I did, I would do many of the things suggested above: get up, wander around the house, read, pray, etc.  I would avoid bright lights -- no screens.

 

Nowadays, I usually fall asleep very easily, but I often wake up after several hours and find that I'm unable to go back to sleep. 

 

I read somewhere that cooling your body down is relaxing.  It has to do with the sleep cycle and body temperature fluctuations.  So now, when I wake in the night and can't go back to sleep, I get up, sponge off with a cold, wet washcloth, dry myself with a towel and, just on the verge of being chilly, head back to bed.  

 

It has worked for me every time!   :hurray: I wish I had known this years ago because I think it would have helped me get to sleep more easily in the first place.

[Joyofsixreboot]

A list of things, usually in this order

Meditate

Audio book

Get up, drink a chamomile/lavendar tea and read

Watch c-span

 

I avoid social media because it will keep me up.

 

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[Acadie]

I put on my Acoustic Sheep Sleep Phones, purchased from amazon, and listen to meditations that put me back to sleep. They're pricey, but totally worth it for me--turned my insomnia around. I bought an inexpensive battery-powered CD player from Best Buy to use with them. I can't imagine they would bother your husband--no lights or sound, except possibly a faint click when the CD turns on. Usually I fall back to sleep with the headband still on. Also, I leave the CD player in the drawer of my bedside table so I can't knock it off the bed and break it. The cord is long enough to reach me in bed.

 

Other things I've tried are to take melatonin or valerian (capsules or Sleepytime Extra tea has valerian) and to read until those remedies take effect.

 

Also, reducing carbs in the afternoon/evening helps me--that includes pasta and wine, alas!

 

The Sleep Phones made the biggest difference, though, and helped me develop the mindset that being awake is just a good time to meditate with no one bugging me. Insomnia was a huge issue before but almost a non-issue for me with this solution.

 

Good luck!

 

Amy

[popmom]

I am another who sleeps better on the sofa. Sometimes all that is needed is a "change of scenery". That means...move to a different room in the house. Sofa usually works for me. I'm not struggling with insomnia at all these days, but I have struggled mightily in the past. One thing that helped was to do something monotonous for a while. Fold laundry or wash dishes. 

 

One med to consider is Trazodone. A very low dose is a WONDERFUL sleep aid. 

 

There have been seasons when I just embraced the insomnia. I used to do my grocery shopping at Walmart at 3 or 4 in the morning. It was great. I'd fall asleep at 9 or 10pm but wake up around 3am--unable to fall back to sleep. So I started making my Walmart runs in the middle of the night. I'd be home by no later than 4 or 5am, and I'd be able to fall asleep until 8 or 9. 

 

 

[TechWife]

My doctor told me to get up after 30 minutes and find something else to do that isn't stimulating, so no screens. I read until I feel tired. She told me I should periodically go back to bed to try to sleep for another 30 minutes but if I feel awake, I know I'm not going to fall asleep and I hate laying in bed awake in the middle of the night when I should be asleep.

This is similar to my approach as well. I don’t go back to my bed more than nice, though. If I need to get up a second time I plan on sleeping on the couch. My husbands rouses when I move around the room, and I’d rather not disrupt his sleep too much. He’s a god d sleeper!

[Arcadia]

Check my kids’ homework for math, science and Chinese. Usually my DS13 can’t sleep as well so he can do the next day’s work while I check completed work. Both of us would finally be mentally tired enough to sleep.