Two people paying question.

[Guest]

So, I’m person B. I’m not mad or annoyed but I wouldn’t make the same decision person A is making. Person A and I are close friends but we handle money very differently. Were I her, I’d say “hey, I have a free night, let’s split the other nightâ€. Obviously, she thinks otherwise.

[eternalsummer]

I also would offer to split the free night, but I wouldn't expect someone else to give me half of their travel points.

[TechWife]

I ran this scenario by my husband. He sees the points as part of his compensation (said as he was packing for day trip that turned into an overnight trip). He likened the points to a gift card, not a coupon. In other words, money. He agreed with me that it's just a matter of how each person is paying for their part of the bill. He also agreed with me that personally we would put the entire stay on our points or split the remaining part of the bill. We can both see how someone else could choose otherwise. 

 

 

[DawnM]

Depends.  I assume if I am sharing a room with someone we are fairly close friends, so I would share, but I wouldn't expect them to share.

[Lisa R.]

I find it odd to look at this like a math textbook story problem rather than through the lense of friendship or manners.

 

As a story problem, yes, each person owes half whether through money or points.

 

If someone is close enough to share a hotel room, they’re friends. I find it so tacky that a friend would take the free night and let the other friend pay the whole amount. Yes, friend with points is saving money, but they are making themself look small. Is that worth the money they’re saving?

 

I think it’s just as tacky for someone to bring a coupon to a restaurant and split the bill but applying the coupon only to their portion.

 

Is it fair in the strictest sense? Maybe. But I’m glad I have better friends than that.

[TechWife]

I think it’s just as tacky for someone to bring a coupon to a restaurant and split the bill but applying the coupon only to their portion.

 

 

 

Hotel points aren't coupons. We aren't talking about a $10 or $20 entree. Hotel rooms at a basic Comfort Inn can run up to $100 a night in some areas, business hotels can run up to and over $250 per night.  Hotel rates vary widely based upon the geographic area and availability. The Hampton Inn in my family's fairly small town is $179 per night for a room with a single king bed, which they can charge because they are literally the only hotel in town. It's difficult to get last minute reservations there because they are often full. 

 

Like I said though, on the few occasions where we have done this, we do approach it though a lens of friendship. On one occasion we gave some frequent flier miles away for a trip we weren't even going on. We only do this for our very good friends, though. If I know someone well enough to share a hotel room with them, I know them well enough that I would be entirely comfortable giving them a gift of that size.

[katilac]

 If someone is close enough to share a hotel room, they’re friends. 

 

This may be true for you, but it certainly isn't true for everyone. 

 

To give one example, many acquaintances with a shared hobby choose to share a hotel room if they attend a conference or such related to the hobby. They may be in a group together but still not know each other very well, or they may match up with a roommate they don't even know. 

 

Or two acquaintances realize that they both want to go the music festival in the next state, but need to minimize costs. 

 

Lots of people on this thread are posting that they would never be sharing a hotel room with someone who wasn't a friend, but I assure you that just as many people aren't bothered by the idea at all. 

[happypamama]

Because of this I'd split the difference on the "pay for it" night. I'd at least offer to pay the difference between the $100 hotel and "what could have been chosen."

Yes, this.

 

If I were person A, I’d say, “Hey, I have these points — they’ll let us get a fancier hotel room/ a second night! Let’s split the remaining cost, and that way, we both get a deal!†If person B said, “Oh, that’s not fair for you to use your points AND still spend $50,†then I would say, “If you insist. Then how about you pay the $75 you would have spent to stay at a different hotel, and I’ll pay the remaining $25?â€

 

I’d be annoyed if I were person B and person A wanted a pricier hotel because she had points toward it and so I got stuck paying more than I would have.

[Carrie12345]

I don't think either way is wrong.

 

But it didn't occur to me to not share the points. It's as if I had a coupon for 50% off and a friend and I went together to buy something, standing at the cashier together... I think we would both pay half of whatever the final amount was. I wouldn't count the coupon as paying for my half. But I get the "paying with points" way, too.

 

I'd almost definitely share the points myself, but not expect it of someone else.

 

But, as someone who currently has a lot of points because dh was away for 4 weeks, I don't view it as a coupon at all.  It's more like a savings account that will actually get us a real vacation next year and maybe a trip to visit family.  If I spend part of it on the trip in question, I don't have it to spend on those things.  If I spend it PLUS $50, then I'm down a night AND $50 for those trips.

 

The real bottom line is that I wouldn't share a room at all because I snore so much that I should give the other person the free room and pay for one myself.  :lol:

[Twolittleboys]

Like in so many cases it does all depend on the circumstances.

 

For example: How did the trip come about?

 

Let's say a friend and I decide to go on a weekend trip somewhere (I wish). I happen to have points for one night so I use those for my part of the stay, friend pays second half.

 

On the other hand, maybe I am looking at my points and I say to a friend: "Hey, I have a free night at a hotel! Why don't we make a weekend of it." In that case I would expect to share the points and pay half of the second night (as the points were an incentive for the friend).

 

Other aspects would be how close we are, how our respective financial positions are, whether we both have the same desire for the trip/that hotel (e.g. maybe the friend would stay somewhere else if it wasn't for the points) etc. And I guess how difficult it was to get the points. I have a free night at a hotel that was fairly hard earned (not really, but it feels like it as it took me forever to get there). If I were to share this one it would be kind of like giving someone a gift. I know though that some people have loads of points through work etc. In that case it would feel much less like "giving something away" (I realize it doesn't make sense but that would be how it feels to me).

 

So it all depends. However, I think either is fine and the value isn't huge so it really shouldn't be cause for hard feelings.

[TechWife]

I find it odd to look at this like a math textbook story problem rather than through the lense of friendship or manners.

 

 

 

This was very interesting to me this morning when I re-read it. I do view these things through friendship and manners. But, that friendship is a two way friendship. I would find it very odd if any friend expected me to foot their share of a hotel room. But, I would also offer to do it, as I have said before, so their expectations really wouldn't play into it. Who is paying for what is always part of a discussion between my friends and I when we are planning a trip, though. If I have points I can share, I offer them up front and we look at all of the hotel options to see what best meets our needs. Sometimes we don't use points at all due to location or other concerns. 

[TechWife]

This may be true for you, but it certainly isn't true for everyone. 

 

To give one example, many acquaintances with a shared hobby choose to share a hotel room if they attend a conference or such related to the hobby. They may be in a group together but still not know each other very well, or they may match up with a roommate they don't even know. 

 

Or two acquaintances realize that they both want to go the music festival in the next state, but need to minimize costs. 

 

Lots of people on this thread are posting that they would never be sharing a hotel room with someone who wasn't a friend, but I assure you that just as many people aren't bothered by the idea at all. 

 

I'm an introvert. This makes me shudder. I pay for a single room in these scenarios or I don't go on the trip. I'm always amazed that people can spend so much time in such close quarters with someone they don't know, especially after being at some type of trade show or convention all day with all those people!  :lol:  :lol:

[creekland]

I've grown up sharing hotel rooms, probably from middle school age on.  It could have been an overnight horse show.  It could have been a school trip.  It could have been a club trip or a college trip.  Whatever.

 

It never occurred to me that friends going together wouldn't share hotel rooms (short of a health issue) until this thread!

 

Out of pure curiosity, did those of you who don't like sharing rooms just "deal with it" as youngsters or did you not grow up with that being the norm?

Edited November 8, 2017 by creekland

[TechWife]

I've grown up sharing hotel rooms, probably from middle school age on.  It could have been an overnight horse show.  It could have been a school trip.  It could have been a club trip or a college trip.  Whatever.

 

It never occurred to me that friends going together wouldn't share hotel rooms (short of a health issue) until this thread!

 

Out of pure curiosity, did those of you who don't like sharing rooms just "deal with it" as youngsters or did you not grow up with that being the norm?

 

I didn't travel when I was young. In all of the years before I was married, I remember going on one school trip that required a hotel stay. We didn't go on any vacations.  I went to youth camp once as a teen and didn't think anything about sharing a room with other teens and a counselor at the time. In college, group retreats bothered me to no end and I only went on one. The lack of space to decompress really bothered me. As a family, dh, myself and our son have often shared a room on trips, but since my son started college, it bothers me a bit to share a hotel room with him. We've only done it for family funerals since then, but I kept thinking about how much I needed more space and more quiet to decompress. I don't know how I'd react if it was a less stressful situation, though. I do think at his age, he needs more privacy, though. It's quite a different relationship than with a friendship, so it might not necessarily be comparable. 

[Joules]

It's interesting that, for some, the "points" are seen as the same as (hard-earned) cash, and for others they are not.  It reminds me  bit of the way some people spend lottery winnings and other windfalls (and sometimes even tax refunds) differently than they spend salaried money.

 

And yet, for the point owner, the points are in fact worth $100.  If she didn't have the points, she would clearly have to pay $100 (putting aside the hotel choice issue).  If she chose to pay cash instead of using the points for this trip, her share would be $100 (and she would have $100 in points to use for a different trip).  If she uses the points *and* pays $50, she is using $150 worth of her resources to pay the bill, while her roommate is only using $50 of hers. 

 

 

 

I ran this scenario by my husband. He sees the points as part of his compensation (said as he was packing for day trip that turned into an overnight trip). He likened the points to a gift card, not a coupon. In other words, money. He agreed with me that it's just a matter of how each person is paying for their part of the bill. 

 

 

This is how I see it.  This isn't a coupon that gives a discount, that expires or goes to waste if they don't use it.  It is money.  It is $100 that she would have had for her next family vacation.  So, in this world where hotel rooms are only $100, her family would only get to stay 3 nights instead of 4 nights on their next vacation.

 

If Person A has more money that Person B and is fine paying $150 to B's $50, I see nothing wrong with that, but it is what is actually happening.

 

ETA: If Person A insisted on the hotel based on points, and it was more expensive, I agree that something should have been worked out to compensate B for the extra cost.

Edited November 8, 2017 by Joules

[Word Nerd]

This is how I see it.  This isn't a coupon that gives a discount, that expires or goes to waste if they don't use it.  It is money.  It is $100 that she would have had for her next family vacation.  So, in this world where hotel rooms are only $100, her family would only get to stay 3 nights instead of 4 nights on their next vacation.

 

If Person A has more money that Person B and is fine paying $150 to B's $50, I see nothing wrong with that, but it is what is actually happening.

 

She probably should have saved the points to use on a family trip to begin with and avoided the potential awkwardness altogether.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

So, I’m person B. I’m not mad or annoyed but I wouldn’t make the same decision person A is making. Person A and I are close friends but we handle money very differently. Were I her, I’d say “hey, I have a free night, let’s split the other nightâ€. Obviously, she thinks otherwise.

That's the thing, though. It's not really a free night. With our rewards card, I could use the same amount of points it would take to get a free room night to get a $100 gas gift card. So the points have actual monetary value to me, and to my budget. Like someone else said, this is different from a coupon you got from AAA or signed up for online. A coupon can only be used on that one thing, and it doesn't cost the bearer anything to use it or not use it. This is more like a gift card, which is essentially the same as cash. If not used on this trip, its value doesn't just vanish. It can be used elsewhere for the same amount.

 

Now, if Person A did indeed choose a more expensive hotel so they could use their points and let Person B get stuck with the bigger bill, that's a problem, and I'd probably speak up about that. That's not right. Outside of that, though, it's not really anyone's business how I use my assets to pay for things, and the points are an asset for Person A.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

She probably should have saved the points to use on a family trip to begin with and avoided the potential awkwardness altogether.

Why does it have to be awkward? Why would anyone feel entitled to something someone else has? What if the points were converted to an actual gift card for the hotel? Should Person B also feel entitled to part of the point value then? What if it was a $100 gift from Person A's parents? Does Person A have to share that too, because they didn't earn it?

 

What if the points were part of Person A's budget calculation for the trip and are making it feasible for them to go at all?

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'd almost definitely share the points myself, but not expect it of someone else.

 

But, as someone who currently has a lot of points because dh was away for 4 weeks, I don't view it as a coupon at all.  It's more like a savings account that will actually get us a real vacation next year and maybe a trip to visit family.  If I spend part of it on the trip in question, I don't have it to spend on those things.  If I spend it PLUS $50, then I'm down a night AND $50 for those trips.

 

The real bottom line is that I wouldn't share a room at all because I snore so much that I should give the other person the free room and pay for one myself.  :lol:

 

That's a good point.  Sometimes people couldn't have afforded the hotel room at all without being able to use the points that might have been accumulated on business trips.  In that case, it isn't a matter of the other person being selfish for not sharing the points/ bill.  But of course the price of the hotel and sharing etc should all be hashed out prior to the trip.

[creekland]

I didn't travel when I was young. In all of the years before I was married, I remember going on one school trip that required a hotel stay. We didn't go on any vacations.  I went to youth camp once as a teen and didn't think anything about sharing a room with other teens and a counselor at the time. In college, group retreats bothered me to no end and I only went on one. The lack of space to decompress really bothered me. As a family, dh, myself and our son have often shared a room on trips, but since my son started college, it bothers me a bit to share a hotel room with him. We've only done it for family funerals since then, but I kept thinking about how much I needed more space and more quiet to decompress. I don't know how I'd react if it was a less stressful situation, though. I do think at his age, he needs more privacy, though. It's quite a different relationship than with a friendship, so it might not necessarily be comparable. 

 

I know it's just one data point, but I thought it might be different upbringings leading to different levels of "normal."  (Different personalities is also a possibility, of course.)

 

We still travel.  Our college kids definitely share the room (or our tent) with us.  My mom often will too, esp when the motels are expensive (not sure if $100 counts as expensive).  At times their SO of the time does too. (Hubby and I will share a bed, our two boys will share a bed, the young lass will get a sofabed or sometimes opt for a comforter on a thermarest pad on the floor.) It doesn't matter to any of us (the young lasses included) that we're together.  It's one way we save money.  Of course they'd be able to spring for their own room (or bring their own tent) if they wanted to, but so far, none have.

 

On college trips we tended to pack quite a few to a room with most folks picking out their own section of floor for the night.  Seniors had dibs on the beds.  When traveling with "just" friends (or co-workers when I worked at a summer camp) we stuck with four to a room.  Folks could share beds or pick a section of floor - their choice.  Usually we shared.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Oh boy, Creekland, I'm with Techwife on this one. As a kid, sharing rooms didn't faze me, but as an adult, I need that time at the end of the day to wind down and have some quiet. I'm lucky I can share a room with DH at this point!

[Word Nerd]

Why does it have to be awkward? Why would anyone feel entitled to something someone else has? What if the points were converted to an actual gift card for the hotel? Should Person B also feel entitled to part of the point value then? What if it was a $100 gift from Person A's parents? Does Person A have to share that too, because they didn't earn it?

 

What if the points were part of Person A's budget calculation for the trip and are making it feasible for them to go at all?

 

I will refer you to my post #8, as I never argued that Person B is entitled to the points. However, the added information that Person A chose a more expensive hotel than she may have otherwise does introduce an element of awkwardness and make the situation less clear cut to me.

[creekland]

Oh boy, Creekland, I'm with Techwife on this one. As a kid, sharing rooms didn't faze me, but as an adult, I need that time at the end of the day to wind down and have some quiet. I'm lucky I can share a room with DH at this point!

 

It's perfectly fine to be different.  I'm just learning about some of those differences.  ;)

 

Hubby and I would be perfectly fine backpacking the world with all the lucky enough "kids" (and some retirees) who can afford it.  Sleeping accommodations aren't that important to us.

[Cindy in FL.]

I would view a clipped coupon differently than points I earned. The coupon would be deducted and the difference split. In the case of the points, that I earned, they would be my payment because there was a cost to me for them.

 

What about if you and a friend were both buying cheese together for a meal you were sharing together and you had the coupon for $4. Total for one block of cheese is $8. Do you count your coupon as your payment?

 

Without the friend going with, would this person with the points have stayed one night or 2 in the hotel?

[happi duck]

Just to be nosy...

Was $100 the real price or just a round number?

How much cheaper would another hotel be?

[Cindy in FL.]

This has been our default for travel as well.

 

I know it's just one data point, but I thought it might be different upbringings leading to different levels of "normal." (Different personalities is also a possibility, of course.)

 

We still travel. Our college kids definitely share the room (or our tent) with us. My mom often will too, esp when the motels are expensive (not sure if $100 counts as expensive). At times their SO of the time does too. (Hubby and I will share a bed, our two boys will share a bed, the young lass will get a sofabed or sometimes opt for a comforter on a thermarest pad on the floor.) It doesn't matter to any of us (the young lasses included) that we're together. It's one way we save money. Of course they'd be able to spring for their own room (or bring their own tent) if they wanted to, but so far, none have.

 

On college trips we tended to pack quite a few to a room with most folks picking out their own section of floor for the night. Seniors had dibs on the beds. When traveling with "just" friends (or co-workers when I worked at a summer camp) we stuck with four to a room. Folks could share beds or pick a section of floor - their choice. Usually we shared.

[Annie G]

I see it as having a gift card. If I go to lunch with a friend and we intend to each pay for our lunch, I can use my gift card and friend can pay cash. I don't feel any obligation to use my gift card and then split the remaining amount with my friend. 

 

I have received a gift card with enough to treat us both, and I have done that. But with hotel points, it doesn't seem rude to use it for my half of the bill. Now...as far as choosing the hotel goes, that might be more tricky. If I'm used to staying at a Comfort Inn and friend wants to stay at a Hilton I should speak up and ask the price before/when booking. 

[8circles]

 

Recently I was in Canada purchasing road food for the trip home.  I had only a few Canadian dollars left, and my credit card company charges a whopping fee for each separate charge in a foreign currency.  My hostess offered to chip in (cash), even though she wouldn't be eating any of the food, figuring I'd unexpectedly picked up the full tab for a huge family dinner out the day before and we were more than even.  Normally I wouldn't let her pay for my food, but in the circumstances, I felt it wouldn't be unreasonable to accept her offer.  (As it turned out, I had just enough to pay for it myself.)

I think it was the right thing to do (assuming that it was financially healthy for her to do so) for her to offer and I think it was equally right for you to accept. That's just what people do. I hope you had a nice trip.

 

I see it as having a gift card. If I go to lunch with a friend and we intend to each pay for our lunch, I can use my gift card and friend can pay cash. I don't feel any obligation to use my gift card and then split the remaining amount with my friend. 

 

 

I think these kinds of examples aren't comparable because you aren't splitting the lunch, you are each presumably ordering your own meal which you are eating yourself and there are often separate bills. The hotel room is shared. I think it's a matter of a shared vs individual transaction.

 

General comment: I don't know why there is so much judgmental language in this thread. I don't feel entitled to anyone else's money. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

General comment: I don't know why there is so much judgmental language in this thread. I don't feel entitled to anyone else's money. 

 

This is why I think that it needed to be worked out before the trip even started.  Coming after the fact, after the bill has been paid, it seems a bit sour-grapesish to get mad that the other person didn't pay with cash or credit as well and didn't share their points.  I mean, at that point, the hotel room was already reserved and even stayed in.  I do see though, as someone said upthread somewhere, that if someone said "hey, I've got some points for XYZ hotel, let's stay there for cheaper" then I guess I would expect that it would be cheaper for both of us and so the bounty would be shared. 

[Arcadia]

I had shared hotels with acquaintances on business conferences for the before or after conference extra stay to tour local attractions. So in those cases, it would be an equally split bill between the number of hotel roommates.

 

In OP’s case, her friend opt for a pricier hotel. So if OP had mentioned she is willing to spend $A/night and her friend would like the stay at a pricier hotel that cost $B/night, if I am the friend who want the pricier hotel I would have paid $(2B-A) with points and cash.

 

So if OP has opt for a $100/night hotel and her friend opt for a $150/night hotel, unless OP happily change her mind to the $150/night hotel, I would feel obliged to pay $200 because OP is doing me a favor by staying in my choice of hotel.

[Annie G]

 

I think these kinds of examples aren't comparable because you aren't splitting the lunch, you are each presumably ordering your own meal which you are eating yourself and there are often separate bills. The hotel room is shared. I think it's a matter of a shared vs individual transaction.

 

General comment: I don't know why there is so much judgmental language in this thread. I don't feel entitled to anyone else's money. 

 

I think it is comparable. You're sharing a meal at lunch, you're just each choosing to pay your own share. You're sharing a hotel room, but each paying a share.  The wording is different, but it's the same concept. 

 

Maybe I'm overly sensitive because I really hate when I'm out with a group of friends and at the end they decide to just split the bill by however many people are there. Hey, wait- I only drink water, not soda or alcohol, and I rarely order appetizers or desserts. Also, I often order a salad or other lighter fare. 

[8circles]

I think it is comparable. You're sharing a meal at lunch, you're just each choosing to pay your own share. You're sharing a hotel room, but each paying a share.  The wording is different, but it's the same concept. 

 

Maybe I'm overly sensitive because I really hate when I'm out with a group of friends and at the end they decide to just split the bill by however many people are there. Hey, wait- I only drink water, not soda or alcohol, and I rarely order appetizers or desserts. Also, I often order a salad or other lighter fare. 

 

I hear what you are saying but I don't see sharing a meal the same as sharing a hotel room unless you are literally ordering one meal and splitting it.

 

ETA: When you share a meal in this sense, you are sharing the time together which is free, not the meal.

 

ETAA: I know what you mean about splitting group meals evenly when the meals weren't equal. That always sucks if you intended to spend less. Discussing and agreeing beforehand is so important.

Edited November 8, 2017 by 8circles

[Carrie12345]

This is why I think that it needed to be worked out before the trip even started.  Coming after the fact, after the bill has been paid, it seems a bit sour-grapesish to get mad that the other person didn't pay with cash or credit as well and didn't share their points.  I mean, at that point, the hotel room was already reserved and even stayed in.  I do see though, as someone said upthread somewhere, that if someone said "hey, I've got some points for XYZ hotel, let's stay there for cheaper" then I guess I would expect that it would be cheaper for both of us and so the bounty would be shared. 

 

Right.  Treating is a great thing for friends to do, but I can't wrap my head around it being an expectation.

 

If I have a hotel rewards night and $150 in my wallet (not that I'd pay cash for a hotel room, but go with it,) and choose to use money instead of rewards, should I still be expected to pay $150 of the $200 bill because I own a reward night?

[Arcadia]

I think it is comparable. You're sharing a meal at lunch, you're just each choosing to pay your own share. You're sharing a hotel room, but each paying a share. The wording is different, but it's the same concept.

 

Maybe I'm overly sensitive because I really hate when I'm out with a group of friends and at the end they decide to just split the bill by however many people are there. Hey, wait- I only drink water, not soda or alcohol, and I rarely order appetizers or desserts. Also, I often order a salad or other lighter fare.

For lunch, we each pay our own bill so one table of five colleagues could end up with five separate bills with each of us claiming the expenses from our own department.

 

When out with friends, we tend to choose food courts so each get their own meal and then we sit at one big/long table to eat and chat. Or we go to an agreed buffet place so everyone pays the same amount per person.

[JudoMom]

I hear what you are saying but I don't see sharing a meal the same as sharing a hotel room unless you are literally ordering one meal and splitting it.

 

ETA: When you share a meal in this sense, you are sharing the time together which is free, not the meal.

 

You're sharing the table, the use of the facility, the waiter/waitress if there is one, not just the food.

[8circles]

Right.  Treating is a great thing for friends to do, but I can't wrap my head around it being an expectation.

 

If I have a hotel rewards night and $150 in my wallet (not that I'd pay cash for a hotel room, but go with it,) and choose to use money instead of rewards, should I still be expected to pay $150 of the $200 bill because I own a reward night?

 

If someone said it was an expectation I missed it.

[8circles]

You're sharing the table, the use of the facility, the waiter/waitress if there is one, not just the food.

 

I'm not sure how that changes anything.

 

If I go into a restaurant and order water and my companion orders a meal and a soda, I'd still not be buying anything.

[theelfqueen]

I find it odd to look at this like a math textbook story problem rather than through the lense of friendship or manners.

 

As a story problem, yes, each person owes half whether through money or points.

 

If someone is close enough to share a hotel room, they’re friends. I find it so tacky that a friend would take the free night and let the other friend pay the whole amount. Yes, friend with points is saving money, but they are making themself look small. Is that worth the money they’re saving?

 

I think it’s just as tacky for someone to bring a coupon to a restaurant and split the bill but applying the coupon only to their portion.

 

Is it fair in the strictest sense? Maybe. But I’m glad I have better friends than that.

 

What if they brought a gift card? Would you expect them to apply that to the pre-split amount? Because for us -- the hotel points my DH earns on his business travel are a lot more like a gift card than a coupon. 

[creekland]

I don't like sharing a room with people I am not close with. 

 

And, I  can't remember ever having gone anywhere overnight with people I wasn't close with.  I mean I took girl scout trips but since I was best friends with the girls in my troop, they were people I was close with.  Even girl scout camp, I went with 2 other girls in my troop so we were all in the same tent.

 

Outside of Scouts, all travel that I can recall was with family and as such, family roomed together. 

 

 

I never shared rooms with complete strangers either.  I knew the people I was traveling with - they just weren't always my family.  They were friends.

[TravelingChris]

Just to be nosy...

Was $100 the real price or just a round number?

How much cheaper would another hotel be?

 

Yes, I was wondering this too since we travel a lot and have for many years and rarely do we now find hotel rooms for less than right around $100 and it is often more.  We don't go to super low end no name hotels but otherwise often are going to the lower priced okay hotel around and they still aren't less than a hundred and I am not talking about hotels in cities like SF or NYC.  I am talking about hotels in fly-over country both in cities and in small towns.

[TravelingChris]

I have traveled and shared rooms or cabins with people I knew but not family.  I am an introvert but I always find time to be alone anyway.  Once was a great homeschooling retreat in a former Christian hippie colony in the Northern CA coast.  The other times were a few times I have gone to a women's retreat with women from my church and another church we organize this with.  The times I stayed in the cabins, I knew at least most of the people there but met the other two ladies one time and the other time, I did know everybody.  Last year, I initially went with a new member who is a Chinese immigrant but then we added my own daughter to the room too.  We all three got along great.  Three quiet introverts. But going to retreats with someone is not like going on a regular trip.  You know both of you will be out of the room most of the day and evening and that the room will mostly be used for sleeping.  Our retreat is at a state park so there is no issues with using points since the parks don't issue them.

 

Now sharing a room with some random person not going to the same activity as me or someone with a very different personality who intended to party in my room would be a no go. 

[justasque]

I think it was the right thing to do (assuming that it was financially healthy for her to do so) for her to offer and I think it was equally right for you to accept. That's just what people do. I hope you had a nice trip.

...

 

I had an absolutely delightful trip!  And I was so glad I had the unexpected opportunity to treat my hostess and her family to a lovely meal out.  It was the least I could do to express my appreciation for the lovely visit!

 

I don't like sharing a room with people I am not close with. 

 

And, I  can't remember ever having gone anywhere overnight with people I wasn't close with.  I mean I took girl scout trips but since I was best friends with the girls in my troop, they were people I was close with.  Even girl scout camp, I went with 2 other girls in my troop so we were all in the same tent.

 

Outside of Scouts, all travel that I can recall was with family and as such, family roomed together. 

 

 

I have shared a room now and again with a fellow volunteer who I did not know very well when attending the volunteer organization's conference.  We spent most of our days doing conference things; we just had to work out a shower schedule and a lights out time.  It worked out well and kept our budgets under control. 

 

At other times I've shared with friends and their kids, or a group of fellow students, as well as lots of sharing with extended family.  Sharing keeps the cost low and allows me to have Travel Adventures, which I find very enriching in a myriad of ways.  

 

My kids have many happy memories of sharing with cousins, all lined up on the floor with their sleeping bags, listening to their uncle make up a bedtime story as they drift off to sleep.  

[Catwoman]

My issue with the situation was that the friend insisted on a more expensive hotel so she could use her points, which meant that Moxie ended up having to pay more money than she would have if they had chosen a cheaper option.

 

Now, if the friend had been upfront with Moxie and said she would be happy to stay in either place, but it would be great if they could stay at the place where she could use her points, that would have allowed Moxie to decide whether or not she wanted to spend more on her half of the room cost.

 

Personally, if I was the friend, I would have been embarrassed to insist on a pricier hotel so I could stay there for free while my friend had to pay more than she would have paid elsewhere. It seems so tacky to me, and not something a good friend would do.

[Annie G]

My issue with the situation was that the friend insisted on a more expensive hotel so she could use her points, which meant that Moxie ended up having to pay more money than she would have if they had chosen a cheaper option.

 

 

 

Totally agree! In the hypothetical I think it's reasonable to use points for my half of a hotel room.  But not if I manipulated the situation so I could benefit while at the same time making it MORE expensive for my friend. Not cool. 

[creekland]

If someone is a close enough friend that they can handle me walking around in PJs in front of them, then figuring out how to pay for such an event shouldn't (and wouldn't) be awkward....and they are likely generous enough to split the cost of the points.

 

But several people don't mind parading around school or the grocery store in PJs.  I don't think they'd mind if you did the same.  ;)

 

The more I think about it, I don't think I'd be all that opposed to sharing a hotel room with a stranger as long as I knew we had something in common (love of travel or faith or interest in a convention or similar).  I enjoy getting to know people when we go places.  It never bothered me to live in a dorm with a complete stranger back in my college days.  I think it could be fun.

 

But I digress from this thread - purely out of intrigue for the differences we (collective) have among us.

 

My issue with the situation was that the friend insisted on a more expensive hotel so she could use her points, which meant that Moxie ended up having to pay more money than she would have if they had chosen a cheaper option.

 

Now, if the friend had been upfront with Moxie and said she would be happy to stay in either place, but it would be great if they could stay at the place where she could use her points, that would have allowed Moxie to decide whether or not she wanted to spend more on her half of the room cost.

 

Personally, if I was the friend, I would have been embarrassed to insist on a pricier hotel so I could stay there for free while my friend had to pay more than she would have paid elsewhere. It seems so tacky to me, and not something a good friend would do.

 

:iagree: 100%. This is something I would never do unless it had been agreed upon as a viable option ahead of time (meaning Moxie had no problem paying for a night in the more expensive hotel and/or preferred doing it that way).

[Carrie12345]

If someone said it was an expectation I missed it.

 

In the general sense, the question asked what we would expect to do/expect done.

[Lisa R.]

For those of you who think it’s socially appropriate to have one friend use points for the free night while the other pays, what about this:

 

Two friends stay just one night at hotel. Friend A has points and uses them for the room. Friend B is expected to pay A for half the room rate.

 

Really, it’s the same scenario—just one night instead of two.

 

Each person is paying for half the room—one with points and one with money. Is this wrong of friend A to expect money for half the room? No. But it is tacky, IMO

 

(I was in this situation once. I was the friend that paid the person that reserved the room and used points for the night. I did not complain. We are still friends. But it made her look cheap IMO. I would’ve shared freely with a friend in that situation.)

[Sarah CB]

For those of you who think it’s socially appropriate to have one friend use points for the free night while the other pays, what about this:

 

Two friends stay just one night at hotel. Friend A has points and uses them for the room. Friend B is expected to pay A for half the room rate.

 

Really, it’s the same scenario—just one night instead of two.

 

Each person is paying for half the room—one with points and one with money. Is this wrong of friend A to expect money for half the room? No. But it is tacky, IMO

 

(I was in this situation once. I was the friend that paid the person that reserved the room and used points for the night. I did not complain. We are still friends. But it made her look cheap IMO. I would’ve shared freely with a friend in that situation.)

 

In that situation, I could see one friend paying for the room with points and the other friend paying for dinner or something similar. 

[creekland]

In that situation, I could see one friend paying for the room with points and the other friend paying for dinner or something similar. 

 

Same here.  We don't count to the penny when splitting costs on a trip.  We try to split in a way that is fair and this would fit.  The points ARE money for the person who uses them.

 

We get points to fly too.  If I'm flying somewhere and using my points I don't expect to pay half of my friend's ticket just because I used my points for my airfare.  If I had points to pay for two I doubt I would as that would increase my cost in the future.  Given special circumstances, I might decide to, but that's up to me.

[Alice]

Out of pure curiosity, did those of you who don't like sharing rooms just "deal with it" as youngsters or did you not grow up with that being the norm?

I'm an only child. 😀

 

I don't like sharing rooms and will always choose to be alone if I can. It's worth the extra money to me.