Screen time poll!

[AmandaVT]

How do you, or do you, manage screen time in your house? 

 

My choice reflects the reason I'm posting. Every time I try to manage it, I feel like I'm doing it wrong and am looking for a better way!

Edited May 29, 2017 by AmandaVT

[Night Elf]

I answered the way I would have when my kids were young. They learned to self-regulate so I had no need to limit screen time. They probably spent more time on the computer than some of the families on this board thinks is healthy but DH and I are computer people so are our kids are too. They still did other things and had a good childhood. I see no ill effects on them as young adults.

[wintermom]

It's a bit of a struggle with the boys. My 16 yo dd doesn't do many screens at all, so whenever she wants them I let her. She's also very busy so the infrequent times that she wants to play and has a few minutes to play, she can.

 

I think weather is a factor for us. In the winter, when the daylight hours are very few, and it can be really cold outside, it's pretty tough to say, "Get outside and stay off the screens." I can do this MUCH easier in the spring and summer. An added factor is the 3 boys have a huge capacity to bicker and be annoying. So letting them play screens, where they will be quiet, is a survival tool for me. They have trained me well.  :coolgleamA:

[Miss Tick]

Other! During the school year my ds picks two weekdays to be video game days. On those days, and on weekend days, he tells me his plan for getting his stuff done (chores, piano, etc.). Sometimes it is interspersed with video game breaks, but I will always say yes as long as there is a plan. We don't do screens before 3ish on school days for obvious reasons.

 

This works well because he is really good about following through, and because he sets and turns of his own timer as needed. I've been really clear that if I agree to a plan but then the plan does not get followed i feel duped and we have to go back to "everything must be done before screens."

 

I was striving for a system where I didn't have to all the time be deciding if video games were ok, or not.

[DawnM]

If there is nothing else pressing or going on, they can have as much as they want.

 

They will always choose socializing with friends over screen time and if I ask them to stop, they stop.

 

Works for us.

 

And oldest is getting his degree in Animation and Game Simulation, so, there ya have it.

[Kassia]

I was strict with screen time when my kids were little, but stayed out of it once they were in their teens.  

[Julie Smith]

My boys earn computer time by doing Duolingo.

 

Eldest now has a streak of 590 days. (As in he has done something on duolingo for 590 days straight). He is 9 skills away from finishing his tree (a tree is what they call a course)

 

Youngest didn't care about his streak till recently, but his streak is about 90 days. He is 25% done his tree.

 

I don't monitor tv watching time since they rarely have any interest in watching anything. I think they might ask to watch something a few times a year, if that.

Edited May 29, 2017 by Julie Smith

[winterbaby]

I do set amount of time. Doing this ended the non stop begging and negotiating and arguing for more and more. We do half an hour a day Monday through Friday and two hours Saturday and Sunday. I don't think going down to half that would be bad at all, but they're nice round numbers.

[Spryte]

We don't place a high priority on screens, so this is hard for me to explain well. Generally, I don't view all screen tim as equal. Mindlessly watching junk on Netflix or YouTube - that doesn't happen here. There's not much interest in binge watching, I guess. Doing something creative or educational on the computer - that's different. DS is into photoshop and imovie, with GarageBand thrown in. His passion is film making and effects, so I'm ok with that. Unless I see something inappropriate (too scary), I don't step in. He has to finish his schoolwork first, but after that - his free time is his. He balances it with a ton of actual making, cosplays in real life, outside play with friends, and getting footage to use on iMovie.

 

DD is 6, and has discovered minecraft. She's a bit obsessed, so we are limiting her time doing that. She doesn't have a ton of free time for it, and I just redirect her to something else.

 

Our oldest son hated reading, and way back when, I made him trade reading time for video game time. Then he just loved reading, and became an avid reader.

[ScoutTN]

I don't have a set plan. I answered "other".

 

I would strongly prefer my kids play outside, read, or do something creative. We don't have cable and my kids do not have their own devices.

We are very selective about what we watch, gradually gradually widening our choices as our kids get older. Dh works in programming, but is not really a techy person.

 

But there times when video entertainment is great. Ds may watch WildKratts, Odd Squad, or a sceince video in the afternoons. We often watch TV or a movie as a family on Sunday or Friday nights. Ds watches sports with Dh. We have a large drawer full of DVDs and Wii games. My kids play Prodigy. Dd will have an online class again this coming year. Our kids will have a film course and some programming in their studies before college, for sure. We certainly use videos for school. Playing on an ipad is the perfect way to keep a wiggly boy quiet and still in a Dr.'s office. We have some fun and educational apps.

 

We seem go in fits and spurts. More movies in the summer, esp when it is blazing hot and sticky humid. Not much screen time in the spring and fall when the weather is lovely. More again in mid winter.

 

I lean much more to the Luddite end of the spectrum than the free range, all-in techy side. But I don't feel the need for a formal plan to regulate screen time. I think that might make it a source of strife, esp for Ds. We just live our lives and screens are part of our world. We want our kids to be able to use and enjoy technology, but also to be aware of it's limitations and dangers.

Edited May 29, 2017 by ScoutTN

[FriedClams]

Disney Circle. Seriously awesome. We set times as then it shuts stuff down when limits are hit. Also, bed times, rewards, etc.

[Guinevere]

We don't have devices the kids can use.  Our eldest dd has a cell phone she can use to text/call (no internet) if she is at an activity away from us.  We also don't have a television.  Dh has a tablet and laptop, and I have a laptop, and the kids can watch movies/youtube on them sometimes.  Rarely do they ask, I just turn something on when we need a diversion.  If we are not well, or it's really hot or cold for days on end, they watch a lot more.  If the weather is nice, and we are busy, they might go weeks without watching anything.  

 

So, we don't really have this discussion here at all.  Watching things/using the computer is a part of our life, but such a small part, no one thinks to argue over it.  

[4Kiddos]

We don't have TVs or smart phones (well my husband has one for work) but we do have two laptops that the kids can watch movies on. There is no set plan. They just ask to watch a movie whenever but they don't really ask too often. Maybe once a week? Generally, I prefer to encourage them to do other things first and they do. If we are sick or something, we watch a lot more movies.

 

I think I am becoming more and more of a Luddite. As so many of my friends have gotten Smart phones or iphones, our friendship has suffered. It is like their brain chemistry has changed and all they can think of is doing something on the phone. We don't have really great discussions anymore. It makes me really sad to see that and I don't want that for my kids. My in-laws and their kids came and visited for two weeks last summer and they all have smart phones. Mostly, it was just all of them sitting on my couch doing their smart phones while my kids played by themselves. It was really interesting to see a whole different family culture. After they left, we really worked on trimming our screen time even more, especially my husband and I. I am not on Facebook anymore and I LOVE that. I thought I would miss it but I don't at all and I actually am less worried about stuff. Our family culture has a lot of outdoorsy-ness, discussions about all sorts of stuff, board game playing, etc. I think we bored my in-laws and their kids but it really re-affirmed how much we all like our own family culture. I don't think my in-laws regulate much at all so that could be why it seemed so all-consuming. Anyway, my point is that, for our family, low technology is really nice. My kids aren't teens yet so that might all change too. We know other families who manage this well. But, I love having a life based in real, tangible things.

Edited May 29, 2017 by 4Kiddos

[SKL]

I voted for something that isn't quite accurate, but I didn't want to say "other" and be completely unhelpful.  :)

 

I require my kids to finish certain things before they can have screen time.  But even then, I don't let them just watch however much they want.  It affects them in negative ways, so I try to limit it most days.  Sometimes I do leave them free to decide, and they overdo it, but I figure that's a part of life, up to a point.  :)

[foxbridgeacademy]

I answered the way I would have when my kids were young. They learned to self-regulate so I had no need to limit screen time. They probably spent more time on the computer than some of the families on this board thinks is healthy but DH and I are computer people so are our kids are too. They still did other things and had a good childhood. I see no ill effects on them as young adults.

 

This was/is us.  

 

 

Chores get done, they have other activities and get plenty of exercise why would I limit?  When they were young they spent most of their time playing legos or outside all while knowing they could watch TV anytime they wanted.  As they have gotten older a lot more time is spent online with friends but they're almost adults and should be given the choice of how to spend their free time.

 

*We live in an area where we don't really "fit" and they've had difficulty making friends IRL, so time spent online with friends is equivalent to "hanging out IMO. 

Edited May 29, 2017 by foxbridgeacademy

[73349]

Screen time has a visible impact on my kid. I allow several hours in a stretch on the weekend so he can watch some cartoons or something, but M-F it's just a little bit and only for school:

about 15 minutes a day of Burning Cargo,

maybe 10 minutes a week for our song of the week and composer of the week (when applicable),

a 10-minute Spanish video on Friday,

and at times I've had him do one or two Duolingo exercises, but not lately.

 

Self-regulation has been an issue for DS in many areas, and I don't have a problem with helping him with that. As long as our limits are clear and up front, he doesn't usually have trouble accepting them.

[PeachyDoodle]

We don't allow video games during the week -- and we've stopped allowing ds6 to play at all. Gaming especially seems to affect his moods/attitude so we made the decision to suspend them completely for a year or two. He was upset at first but never asks to play now. Sometimes he watches dd12 as she plays. It's their Saturday morning routine, like we used to watch cartoons growing up.

 

I usually allow an hour or so of TV in the afternoons after school and chores are complete. DD also watches another 20-30 minutes on her phone at night. That seems to help her wind down. She has anxiety and it is worse at night.

 

Weekends vary, depending on how much we have to do. Usually we are busy enough that screentime has natural limits. Sometimes we all want to veg, so we can spend many hours between TV/movies, browsing Internet (dh and me) and games, but those times are few and far between, so I don't worry about it that much.

[AmandaVT]

Thank you for all the great replies!! 

 

Currently, we limit, a bit stricter on the weekdays and looser on the weekends. But I do let him do a bit of Wii before school and I think I need to change that for next school year. 

 

I'm wondering how I want to change our screen time plans for next year and I love all of the ideas so far. So helpful! 

 

He'll watch a TV show here and there, and we frequently watch Jeopardy together as a family at night. 

 

I don't mind him working on his book or doing an Uzinggo or Mystery Science lesson or Khan. 

 

We have a Wii and an XBox and DH is a gamer. DS likes Mario Kart and Minecraft mostly. Increasingly this year, he's gotten quite good at bargaining for more time or giving me reasons why he has to "just finish this level". And I do understand. I don't need him to stop mid-race or if he's in the middle of building something in Minecraft. But, he'll frequently give me a hard time about finishing up and then that ends up with him starting his school day in a bad mood and, well, it just needs to change. 

[NikiSC]

It's really a struggle right now. DS and his friends play Xbox live online with each other. That's how they socialize. They talk on the headsets rather than on their phones. When he's not playing he wants to watch YouTube videos on gaming stuff and he and one of his friends have a YouTube channel. He doesn't want to go outside or play, BUT he's a teenager.

If he's playing games DD gets bored and watches YouTube videos.

During the school year we had set hours, but now that we're on break its been difficult. DD self regulates but DS does not.

Also, DS never had an interest in video games until it became a social outlet.

[winterbaby]

I would definitely consider switching it to an after certain things are done deal (especially school). I notice effects on my daughter, and I don't like the interpersonal dynamic of all the bargaining and negotiating, especially since I can be kind of a pushover and want to avoid the argument, which only gets worse the deeper she gets into whatever she's doing and next thing I know it's into amounts of time I'm really not OK with. Going from that dynamic straight into schoolwork would be really rough. I do give extensions of a few minutes for being in the middle of something or a video that just has a little bit left. But increasingly, I expect her to be responsible for planning around the limits. We use a timer for objectivity.

[Arcadia]

DS12 has always been able to self regulate. He has access to gaming systems, iPads and what have you since he was a toddler. My husband grew up with PS2 and I used to frequent arcades so we are free and easy on gaming. DS11 can't self regulate yet so we have to monitor. He gets screen withdrawal symptoms so even if he did everything on his daily checklist, it can't be free for all for him until bedtime.

[bolt.]

My "other" --

 

There are certain conditions to be met before the kids are allowed to ask for 20 min of screen time. (Important things are done, spaces are tidy, not before 2:30pm.)

 

We free to say "yes" or "no" to the request -- or to tell them what they need to do first.

Edited May 29, 2017 by bolt.

[EMS83]

I had "only on weekends," but I forgot about their 2DSes and how compartmentalized I view this, so now it's "other."  We have "big" consoles that are typically weekend evenings only, and they each get X minutes for their turn, but are able to use sibling if they want to co-op.  They each bought their own 2DS and DS games, and those are available during our rest time, and oldest has it at night/early morning because she doesn't let it keep her up too late.  The other two didn't self-regulate, so that privilege was revoked.  We will subtract minutes for behavior issues in public.  If they lose any time at all, they are also not able to play with/for their siblings.  Very effective, especially for my one where nothing else has been effective.

 

My computer is available for things like Khan Academy during our free time, and we don't have any TV service.  We have Netflix, but they hardly watch it at our house ever (the device is in the MBR).

 

And if I want or need to toss out a free screen session or revoke one we typically have, then I do and do not feel bad at all.  These are utter luxuries by every standard, imo.  

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I'm terrible at policing, so limits don't work for us.  Generally, as long as they spend adequate time each day doing physical things, and needed chores, and participating in family life, plus their academic work is caught up, I don't limit screen time.  If I notice that a particular child has spent an inordinate amount of time with screens, I might ban them for an evening, a day, or a week, until the *stuck* child breaks free of the habit and rediscovers their books, their drawing materials, their shinai, their basketball, or whatever. 

[Farrar]

No recreational screens during the day. If you're out during recreational screen time, then you miss it. Oh well.

 

We do allow unlimited use of screens for creative purposes once other work is done though. So, if they want to program or work on an art project that requires screens, then I have no issue with that. And that can include watching tutorials for how to do it. Every once in awhile, this creeps (oh, but then I saw this cool other video, I wanted to test this thing and I "accidentally" ended up playing this other thing, etc.) and I have to clamp down on it a bit, but it's usually not a big issue.

[kroe1]

I would normally tell people that I do not limit screen time, which I do not per se. However, someone pointed out to me on this board that technically, I do. My kids have so many extra-curricular obligations, that by default, there is some limitations. Nonetheless, we are a big gaming family who play a lot.

[Guest]

One day per week my kids can do as much as they want (from what they're allowed to do, they're still elementary school kids). The rest of the week, they have to ask for something specific... A particular show, move, game, or task.... And I lean toward 'no' about 70% f the time. They are almost always allowed to type and draw on a computer. Zero video games.

Edited May 30, 2017 by OKBud

[Guest]

I have done this different ways at different times. At one point, my kids had tokens (poker chips) which were spendable on 1/2 hr. Per token of whichever screens they chose, not including Family Movie Night. They got two tokens per day and could save them up if they wished. I did think this was a good way to do it, but it didn't work well as my oldest two became teens and there were more good reasons to be on screens and not for 1/2 hour blocks.

 

I also had a general rule that there were no screens until after 3:00pm on weekdays, because screens before schoolwork had an overall negative effect on school work performance, especially in my most screen-attracted child.

 

So, now, for my youngest (12yo), it's generally just no screens before schoolwork. Weekends are not restricted. I don't restrict my 17yo's screens, but he is in a B&M school and can't use them for play, obviously, while at school.

[Guest]

Oh, strict two per child "product videos"... Like unboxing and similar ...on their screen day!!!

 

Those videos inspire the "gimmes" like nothing else.

[matrips]

I answered no screens, but we do own a tv and computer. They will watch some sports with their dad, but don't turn it on for themselves. And we'll watch a family movie on Friday nights. They also use the computer for school- to write their papers, and Alcumus for math. Next year I'll have them do some language stuff or an online class. We don't own video games or wii or anything like that, and they don't have phones.

[Happy2BaMom]

 

I think I am becoming more and more of a Luddite. As so many of my friends have gotten Smart phones or iphones, our friendship has suffered. It is like their brain chemistry has changed and all they can think of is doing something on the phone. We don't have really great discussions anymore. It makes me really sad to see that and I don't want that for my kids. My in-laws and their kids came and visited for two weeks last summer and they all have smart phones. Mostly, it was just all of them sitting on my couch doing their smart phones while my kids played by themselves. It was really interesting to see a whole different family culture. ...... My kids aren't teens yet so that might all change too. We know other families who manage this well. But, I love having a life based in real, tangible things.

 

This is me as well. We limit screen time, 1 - 1.5 hours during the week for anything 'entertainment', although since ds turned 14 we do allow him to watch Frontline, other PBS specials and documentaries in the evenings (via Netflix or Apple TV), assuming homework and chores are done. He has learned a LOT about a wide variety of subjects watching documentaries. We have only one TV, no cable, and one computer for the whole family. The kids have an iPod allowed for use during 'entertainment time' or during travel. Ds will be starting high school in the fall and will probably get a phone then. 

 

I'm a stickler about screen time because I don't like what I see when my kids' friends come over (and we are always inviting & have a large house, so we host frequently, or at least we used to). The vast majority of my kids' friends have no idea how to play, or at least play doing anything other than something involving a screen. I used to strictly limit screen time during playdates, but then I largely gave up because the visiting kids just couldn't handle it - they wouldn't want to play or do one single other thing we had (and besides a large basement chock full of toys and games, we also have a mini-farm and hiking trails off the back of our house), not to mention they started showing up at my house with their electronics in tow from about the age of 6 or so.

 

So now we just do fewer get-togethers, since I know it will largely just involve a significant portion of time with a few to several children all staring at a screen.

 

I'm not trying to turn this into an argument over less-is-better and more-is-not, because they all grow up and seem to be fine, but it sure has changed childhood, and not in ways that are fulfilling for my kids, who want playmates.  

 

Edit: 4kiddos, I highly recommend the book, "The Shallows" by Nicholas Carr, finalist for the 2011 non-fiction Pulitzer Prize. It has themes that will resonate with you (I believe).

Edited May 30, 2017 by Happy2BaMom

[Seeking Squirrels]

I chose "other". 

 

On a day we consider a school day they can watch 1 educational show over lunch. No other screen time unless DD8 gets a little bit of nintendo time with mom or dad. This happens once, maybe twice, a month. Or if I'm having a rough day and just need some quiet I might allow one show in the evening. This doesn't happen often, though. 

 

On weekends they get a lot more.

Friday night is family movie night. 

Saturday morning they watch a show or two. They can usually watch a show at some point later in the day. DD8 gets nintendo time. 

Sunday they also get to watch a show or two in the am.  DD8 might play nintendo with dad. We sometimes do another show together like Doctor Who. 

 

Really weekends depend a lot on weather, temperament, and plans. If it's nice out, they watch less and we kick them out. If it's icky out and DH and I have projects to work on, they get more, but we still don't let them veg out all day. If we have plans, they may get nothing. 

 

We tried doing an "earn your screen time" thing a while back and it backfired. DD8 actually started watching more tv than before because she felt she needed to use up her tokens. Scaling it back didn't work so we dropped it. 

[Barb_]

We've done different combinations of your poll options depending on the time of the year and on which kids I currently have. I don't think there is a hard and fast rule. Different kids need different sorts of limits at different ages. Just whn you think you've got it figured out, often life throws you a curve ball.

[Mergath]

We have time limits. Dd gets two cartoons in the morning and a half an hour of game time on the computer each day, so that comes out to a little over an hour a day because the cartoons are around twenty minutes each. Friday is movie night and we do a movie and popcorn. Sunday is documentary night and we each take turns picking a new documentary to watch. That's it, other than exceptions for when dd is sick or something.

 

It works out well for us. Dd doesn't feel deprived and I don't feel like screens have taken over her life.

[abba12]

Other. We use it as a tool, and like any tool sometimes we need/want it more than other times. Right now the rule is that they need permission, they must have at least an hour outside time afterwards (this fixed the screen behaviour issues overnight, they would get off screens pent up with energy and NEED to run it off) and that if they nag or whine when I've said no, i'll take it as a sign that they need more outside/unstructured/project time and it will be even longer before I say yes again. I've tried to maintain from the beginning the mindset of screens as a tool, so I try to discourage 'I want to watch TV' and encourage 'I would like to watch X show or Y movie'. With computers, I don't allow any mindless surfing right now, and I always say 'you can play busythings' or 'you can do game apps' rather than 'you can use the computer/tablet'. Focusing on the content and purpose rather than just using tech and figuring out what to do with it after permission is gained. Maybe it's arbitrary but I am young enough to have grown up with computers and internet and my family managed to self regulate pretty well with this mindset.

 

Weekdays - Screens are restricted to educational uses in the mornings. This is at my discretion as part of our table time school. In the afternoons generally screens are off limits until daddy comes home, but sometimes they have behaved well and I let them spend the afternoon playing, sometimes they have asked politely or told me a specific thing they want to do and I allow it, sometimes I just need some down-time and let them have screens to give me a little peace. On average they get afternoon screens once a week, but some weeks it's none, and other weeks they are immersed in something and use it every afternoon (but with purpose in mind, a particular thing they're immersed in). 2 or 3 days a week they'll get a TV show after chores and before dinner. Family-time screens only in the evenings, a couple times a week.

 

Weekends - No screens in the morning, only exception being if mummy and daddy really need some extra sleep we will let them watch TV while we go back to bed, maybe once a month if that. If they ask they can have screens in the mid afternoon, but the advantage of waiting until then is that they are often busy with some other project or game and don't find themselves wanting it by then anyway. Sometimes they do ask and I give them pretty free reign when that happens, with a rough maximum of 2 hours in my head. They often get an evening movie one of those nights as well, but it's balanced with a goal of 3 hours outside time or project time per weekend-day. 

 

The fact is the kids watch me spend many hours a day on the computer. I use it for work, for study, for organising their homeschooling, for my social life and for leisure reading (I am visually impaired and tend to read ebooks). I can't very well say 'you may only use the computer for one hour a day' when I am legitimately, and usefully, using it for at least 2 hours a day minimum, and up to 12 if I am working and have an assignment due. I'd rather they learn to use it as needed and make wise choices with their time (using timewasters to relax but not spending hours on them, choosing a stimulating activity rather than mindless games) rather than a treat, like candy, that they just want more and more and more of. So I am trying even from this age to direct, rather than restrict. who knows if it'll work, but it's the only thing which makes sense to me. 

Edited May 30, 2017 by abba12