Sunday night laundry

[DawnM]

My kids (and DH) all do their own laundry. 

 

I do mine and all common items like towels for the kitchen and guest bath, etc......

 

I have told all of them (all boys!) that they need to start their laundry in the afternoon because it backs up at night.  Always.  Every single ONE of them wants to start laundry at 8pm on Sunday evening.

 

I even talked to them on Sun at lunch yesterday explaining that we can only do ONE load at a time since we only have ONE washer.

 

Nope.  They all waited.  

 

I am not dealing.  It is not my job to make a chart for them.  They are all teens and adults.  Nope.  It is on them.  Besides, the charts I made weren't followed anyway.

 

My laundry was done by 3pm.  

 

It floors me that this just can't be fixed.  Or that they don't learn.  

 

JAWM.

 

The end.

[Melissa in Australia]

I have always found it strange that over there people get family members to do their own laundry.

[marbel]

NM, didn't notice the JAWM! :-)

Edited April 17, 2017 by marbel

[Night Elf]

I have always found it strange that over there people get family members to do their own laundry.

 

I'm sorry. It's early and I"m not functioning on full power yet. What do you mean? Are you surprised each family member does his own laundry, or surprised that one person does everyone else's laundry?

[displace]

They'll get it (or not). For years I'd sneak into the shower minutes before my brother woke up.

[Rosie_0801]

I'm sorry. It's early and I"m not functioning on full power yet. What do you mean? Are you surprised each family member does his own laundry, or surprised that one person does everyone else's laundry?

 

The bolded. I don't think I've ever heard of this anywhere other than these boards.

[DawnM]

I have always found it strange that over there people get family members to do their own laundry.

 

Really?  

 

Oh gosh, I now work full time.  I am not doing full time house work too.  

 

And they need to know how to do their own laundry.

[SparklyUnicorn]

story of my life...not with laundry but with, ya know...EVERYTHING

 

*sigh*

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I have always found it strange that over there people get family members to do their own laundry.

 

I don't think it is strange exactly, but I find it easier to just do it due to the issues discussed by the OP.  However, I do require the kids to bring me their dirty clothes.  I don't go hunting for them.  I no longer fold anything either.  I hang everything up.  Makes it easier.

[TravelingChris]

So in Australia, who does the laundry?  The woman in the house?  Is there a reason all the laundry is done by one person?

We all do our own laundry here and the kids have been doing it since they were eight or ten, I think.  They also were expected to take out the trash, wash up their own personal dishes or put in the dishwasher like from breakfast or lunch or a snack which they ate individually often, and keep their rooms clean.  The towels were either done by me or by my husband.  My husband never wanted me to do his laundry because he is very particular on how he folds clothes and I don't do it his way. In my house, both my dh and I cooked dinner sometimes together and more times by ourselves and now that they kids are grown, if they are here, they often cook as well.

[Night Elf]

The bolded. I don't think I've ever heard of this anywhere other than these boards.

 

I taught my kids how to do their laundry. My girls specifically asked when they were teens, mostly because they didn't like the idea of their personal laundry to be mixed with everyone else's. I taught my son when he was about 18 because I thought it would be a step towards independence. He used to do it occasionally. Now, however, I've started putting his stuff together with mine and DH's laundry. Ds works 5 nights a week and has only one uniform so it must be washed every day. If I add in some of our things, we can have a small load. It seems silly for him just to wash his one pair of pants and one shirt by themselves.

 

As for needing to know how to do it, we don't believe it's rocket science. I do the basic program on my wash called normal. If I'm doing a bulky blanket I do heavy duty wash. I use hot water for whites/towels and cold tap for darks. It's that simple. When my son moves out, I'll show him again to remind him but I can't see how it's hard to forget. I honestly see no reason why I can't do his laundry.

 

And FWIW, In dd's senior year, I did her laundry for her but kept it separate from the rest of ours. I just put her clean clothes back in her hamper and left it in her room so she could put it away when she got home. I'm sure I'll do the same thing when she comes home from school. I don't see laundry as being a personal responsibility. It's my privilege and pleasure to be able to help my family out when they need me.

[marbel]

The bolded. I don't think I've ever heard of this anywhere other than these boards.

 

I never did either.  But it seems it's very common.  

 

I do empathize with Dawn's problem, since that is their method.  

 

I'm trying to implement a system where everyone just helps with laundry.  We have sorting hampers (a rack with hanging bags for different types of wash) and the idea is that if someone needs something washed, they'll get a load's worth of stuff out of the hamper and do it, regardless of who it belongs to.   It's not seamless but I have found it's - slowly - changing things from:

 

"Mom!  I need my gym shorts washed!"

 

to 

 

"Hey!  I am going to wash my gym shorts. That hamper isn't full so I've got room in the washer.  Anyone got anything in their room before I start?"

 

The default is just me doing it all if it starts stacking up.  But I am the only person not working and/or going to school, so it falls to me under our family division of labor.  

 

(I don't mean to start a debate about sorting.  I know that's a hot topic too.  YMMV, live and let live and all that.  :-) )

[PeterPan]

So how are the boys going to solve their problem? Law of the jungle? Wrestle? That could be really fun. Sounds like PE to me.

 

Why are they waiting till Sunday, anyway? The machine probably works the other days of the week, lol. 

 

You make my one boy sound so easy. :D

[DawnM]

So how are the boys going to solve their problem? Law of the jungle? Wrestle? That could be really fun. Sounds like PE to me.

 

Why are they waiting till Sunday, anyway? The machine probably works the other days of the week, lol. 

 

You make my one boy sound so easy. :D

 

Well, let's see........

 

Oldest said he didn't need to do laundry after all.  He had something to wear at least through Monday.

Middle started at around 8pm.  It was finished (with the washer) around 8:45pm.

At 9:45 youngest stuck his in the wash and said he would get up early enough to put it in the dryer and dry it before school.

 

DH is working form home today so I assume he just waited to do it as he didn't comment or say anything.

 

Again, NOT my problem, but it does make me anxious to witness.  

 

But I am not washing, drying, folding, and putting away  5 people's laundry.  And cooking, cleaning, etc......and working full time and driving kids around to places all afternoon.  Nope.  

 

The machine doesn't work other days of the week.  Just ask my family.  It doesn't.  That would require pushing buttons.  They don't work if you don't push them.  Ergo, the machine doesn't work other days of the week.  

[Angie in VA]

Re the A story: Just agreeing w the OP. Kids!

 

Re the B story: I teach kids to do their own laundry very early on. Sure, this requires supervision for a while, but pays off in the long run. Small family here, but we do sometimes have laundry back ups. This mostly plays out regarding drying rack space, but as my kids get older, they ue the dryer more. I'm old school and prefer to air dry. 

[Rosie_0801]

So in Australia, who does the laundry?  The woman in the house?  

 

My mother stayed at home. She did the washing until I was old enough to do it, then whichever one of us felt like it did it. My sister tried doing her own washing separately and got hauled over the coals for it. If she wanted her uniform washed, she could put in everyone else's too. The washing machine was quite big enough.

 

Each person doing a load of lights, a load of darks and a load of towels seems awfully wasteful.

[DawnM]

My mother stayed at home. She did the washing until I was old enough to do it, then whichever one of us felt like it did it. My sister tried doing her own washing separately and got hauled over the coals for it. If she wanted her uniform washed, she could put in everyone else's too. The washing machine was quite big enough.

 

Each person doing a load of lights, a load of darks and a load of towels seems awfully wasteful.

 

Well, that would be wasteful.

 

We don't separate our clothes.  We never have.  We have had no problems with fading or bleeding colors.

 

Each person does ONE load of clothing per week for the most part.

[Baseball mom]

Boys... nothing like waiting til the last possible minute!!  Actually dh is worse than dss. Drives me crazy :willy_nilly:  

 

Our stuff is washed together BUT dss  help.  They know how to do every load and will do the laundry whenever I say -- go do the laundry.  Dh on the other hand has no idea.  I have repeatedly shown him but he "doesn't remember".   Dss give him LOTS of grief about "not knowing how" to work the washer, dryer and vacuum (seriously push the button :001_rolleyes: he can't remember where the button is).

[mamaraby]

If that's the agreed upon system for how clothes are washed and it was done to take some of the responsibility off one person's plate then that person really and truly has to let it go. Not your problem. It's theirs.

 

I don't think any one person should be responsible for the work of keeping house for a family regardless of whether one person is a SAHM parent or a homeschooling parent. The OP's way of doing laundry is not how I'd do it. We do laundry together here, but split up various parts of it just like we do all of the other tasks around the house (measl, house cleaning, yard work, etc).

[Julie Smith]

My boys wash and dry all the clothes. 

 

The threat to make sure they don't fall behind is, "If you don't do it, Dh will." Dh will spend the day doing laundry as in, "Oh, I can't play, read, go out, ... because I'm supervising the machine". ???? He will then put hang dry only things in the drier and destroy them. Then after a couple of hours of this he will nap and expect to be treated very nicely since, "I spent all day doing chores". (Please note this is just wash and badly dry clothes. He still gets the boys to carry the clothes up and downstairs. This also doesn't include putting them away)

 

He might also start to organize the clothes to put them away. This means folding the t-shirts (that we only have hanger space for) folding the towels into large shapes that wouldn't fit in the closet, putting the smaller clothes, underwear, socks,... into various piles in different spots upstairs,... and then leaving it all like that since, in his words, "I already did my share of the work". 

 

It is usually twice as much work and 100 times the frustration for Dh to do laundry. So if the boys are getting behind I just have to whisper, "Quick, go do a load before Daddy does". If I ever say that they rush to do a load, strip the beds, (including ours) and not even discuss how the other brother isn't working. Anything to make sure Daddy doesn't do it. 

 

 

[Serenade]

Each person doing a load of lights, a load of darks and a load of towels seems awfully wasteful.

Topic B. :-)

 

Yes.

 

This is exactly why our family wash is done together. I have a large washer, and I'm sure we conserve electricity, water and soap by washing everything together.

 

I do think individual family members washing their own clothes is a very American thing. I've never seen this when I've traveled to other countries and lived with different families. I think (don't know) that electricity, and maybe water are cheaper in the US than in other developed countries.

Edited April 17, 2017 by Serenade

[Scarlett]

I have always found it strange that over there people get family members to do their own laundry.

I MUCH prefer to do everyones laundry. But when I started working more ( still not full time) I have tried to get them do to their own....it doesn't work well. Stresses me out.....I feel your pain Dawn.

[regentrude]

I do think individual family members washing their own clothes is a very American thing. I've never seen this when I've traveled to other countries and lived with different families. I think (don't know) that electricity, and maybe water are cheaper in the US than in other developed countries.

 

At least for Germany, this is definitely true. Electricity and water are much more expensive there, and people are more in the habit of conserving.

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

If that's the agreed upon system for how clothes are washed and it was done to take some of the responsibility off one person's plate then that person really and truly has to let it go. Not your problem. It's theirs.

 

I don't think any one person should be responsible for the work of keeping house for a family regardless of whether one person is a SAHM parent or a homeschooling parent. The OP's way of doing laundry is not how I'd do it. We do laundry together here, but split up various parts of it just like we do all of the other tasks around the house (measl, house cleaning, yard work, etc).

 

So true on both points.  Problem I have with lots of stuff though is if something doesn't get done it leads to other issues that DO effect me.  I don't know the way around that.  Maybe in the OP's case she should assign a time slot for each person and they must got and do their laundry?  Really don't know.

 

But here, for example, if my older kid runs out of clothes due to him not bringing them to me (and I even ask!) then it's an issue of being unable to leave the house.  And that is probably for a class.  Which I paid for!  So it IS in my best interest as well that he gets his stuff done.  It's a pain for sure, but I suppose that's part of the ongoing process of learning to think of these things for one's self.

[almondbutterandjelly]

Well, I only have a family of three, and each person does his or her own laundry.  However, there is no issue with us being wasteful, because we don't wash our clothes until we have enough to do a full load.  I don't see what is wasteful about that. ??

 

And OP, ((hugs)) it is not your problem, it is not your problem, you are not thinking about it, la la la la la la

[SparklyUnicorn]

Well, I only have a family of three, and each person does his or her own laundry.  However, there is no issue with us being wasteful, because we don't wash our clothes until we have enough to do a full load.  I don't see what is wasteful about that. ??

 

And OP, ((hugs)) it is not your problem, it is not your problem, you are not thinking about it, la la la la la la

 

If you wash everything together, sure.  I don't.  I won't, for example, wash red shirts with white shorts.  That doesn't work out!  I also don't like towels washed with anything but towels.

 

 

[mamaraby]

But here, for example, if my older kid runs out of clothes due to him not bringing them to me (and I even ask!) then it's an issue of being unable to leave the house. And that is probably for a class. Which I paid for! So it IS in my best interest as well that he gets his stuff done. It's a pain for sure, but I suppose that's part of the ongoing process of learning to think of these things for one's self.

Yeah, I get that. Maybe the third option is "best go dig some less dirty clothes out of the hamper so we can go." Perhaps the social stigma of wearing dirty clothes out in public will be a good natural consequences? Then again, I'm sure there are some kids who wouldn't be the least bit fazed by that.

 

I think it's the process of kids/young adults learning to think of these things by one's self and the parent's ongoing process of letting go of not just helping the kid, but the fear of judgement of other people for how you have raised said child.

[marbel]

Well, I only have a family of three, and each person does his or her own laundry.  However, there is no issue with us being wasteful, because we don't wash our clothes until we have enough to do a full load.  I don't see what is wasteful about that. ??

 

And OP, ((hugs)) it is not your problem, it is not your problem, you are not thinking about it, la la la la la la

 

There is noting wasteful about doing full loads, however that is done.

 

In my experience, when each individual is doing only their own laundry, there is a greater chance of there being less than a full load.  

 

We do sort some thing:  towels, underwear, white socks, and kitchen stuff go separate from our "regular" clothing.  Black clothes are generally washed separately, most of the time, to avoid fading.  

 

Anyway, all that to say, it takes more clothing to  make a full load at my house than it might at some others.   

[almondbutterandjelly]

If you wash everything together, sure.  I don't.  I won't, for example, wash red shirts with white shorts.  That doesn't work out!  I also don't like towels washed with anything but towels.

 

Ah, that's an interesting assumption.  No, my dd's room has two laundry baskets, one for pinks/reds/purples/orange, and one for blues/everything else.  If she has whites that she actually wants bleached, she throws it in the whites hamper in my room.  When a basket gets full, time to wash it.

 

We pre-sort our clothes into hampers or baskets and don't wash until we get enough for a load.  So I never wash a red shirt with white shorts.  And yes, that generally does mean that pinks/reds/purples/oranges only get done once a month or so.  We don't mind.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Ah, that's an interesting assumption.  No, my dd's room has two laundry baskets, one for pinks/reds/purples/orange, and one for blues/everything else.  If she has whites that she actually wants bleached, she throws it in the whites hamper in my room.  When a basket gets full, time to wash it.

 

We pre-sort our clothes into hampers or baskets and don't wash until we get enough for a load.  So I never wash a red shirt with white shorts.  And yes, that generally does mean that pinks/reds/purples/oranges only get done once a month or so.  We don't mind.

 

With that scenario, one would need a lot of clothing.  My kids have a ton of clothing.  I don't.  I probably have the least amount.  At this point I have three pairs of jeans and a few shirts.  LOL

 

So I definitely do better being able to combine stuff.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yeah, I get that. Maybe the third option is "best go dig some less dirty clothes out of the hamper so we can go." Perhaps the social stigma of wearing dirty clothes out in public will be a good natural consequences? Then again, I'm sure there are some kids who wouldn't be the least bit fazed by that.

 

I think it's the process of kids/young adults learning to think of these things by one's self and the parent's ongoing process of letting go of not just helping the kid, but the fear of judgement of other people for how you have raised said child.

 

Yeah I don't know.  Of course in a pinch you do what you gotta do, but I always feel like this reflects poorly on me.  Which might be my problem...but yeah.  He wouldn't give a damn at all (talking about my 15 year old).

[marbel]

Yeah, I get that. Maybe the third option is "best go dig some less dirty clothes out of the hamper so we can go." Perhaps the social stigma of wearing dirty clothes out in public will be a good natural consequences? Then again, I'm sure there are some kids who wouldn't be the least bit fazed by that.

 

I think it's the process of kids/young adults learning to think of these things by one's self and the parent's ongoing process of letting go of not just helping the kid, but the fear of judgement of other people for how you have raised said child.

 

Oh man.  I agree with you but for some situations and some kids, the consequences are worse than me nagging over laundry or doing it all myself.

 

One of my kids didn't think about the need to shower or even change clothes after a weight-lifting class which comes before a classroom class. I'm not talking about a little kid.  Since this individual is socially-challenged a bit anyway, more coaching and support is needed, kwim?  

 

Some people (not here on this board) have accused me of being too slow to let go.  But they don't notice that I had no problem letting go of this sort of stuff with my other child.   It's the kid,  not me!   :-)

[TravelingChris]

About conserving water, we have washers that adjust according to load and my loads are full to mostly full usually.  The youngest washes everything together and uses color catchers.  When my oldest was coming here to wash his clothes, he also generally washed stuff all in one load and yes he had smaller loads but the machine adjusted.  I was never super strict about only doing my own= like I do own a lot of reds and pinks and purples so I would take one of the kids red shorts or something like that to wash.  But I hate laundry and didn't see any reason I should do it any longer than I needed to do it.  I am always amazed by the posters here who have children cleaning the whole house on a regular basis.  But laundry- yes they need to do that.  

[AK_Mom4]

Hugs, OP... I know well those Sunday Night Laundry Runs.  When I had 3 teens at home, they ALWAYS were negotiating for laundry late Sunday nights.

 

All my kids learned "how" to do laundry early (8?10?).   I have always washed the family laundry.  Whatever is in the laundry room, I happily washed/dry/fold back into the basket.  Kids are responsible for bringing down their dirty laundry and taking the clean clothes back upstairs.  Fridays are "Towel Days" - I snag all the towels from bathrooms and wash them along with the house-hold laundry.

 

With just four of us these days, it's an easy job and both DS21 and DD15 can throw in a load if they need something right away.

[JudoMom]

I do all the laundry here.  It's just more efficient for us.  Even with 7 people, I do five loads a week.  We don't have a lot of clothes, and if clothes aren't dirty we re-wear if we don't have to go anywhere.  It's easier for me to just wash the clothes rather than try to figure out how to get everyone to wash their own.  It's not like it's complicated or takes a lot of time to learn or figure out, so I'll give them a lesson before they move out.  

That said, OP, that'd drive me crazy.  You have my sympathies.

[Melissa in Australia]

So in Australia, who does the laundry? The woman in the house? Is there a reason all the laundry is done by one person?

We all do our own laundry here and the kids have been doing it since they were eight or ten, I think. They also were expected to take out the trash, wash up their own personal dishes or put in the dishwasher like from breakfast or lunch or a snack which they ate individually often, and keep their rooms clean. The towels were either done by me or by my husband. My husband never wanted me to do his laundry because he is very particular on how he folds clothes and I don't do it his way. In my house, both my dh and I cooked dinner sometimes together and more times by ourselves and now that they kids are grown, if they are here, they often cook as well.

All the laundry is done together, all laundry is hung out on line,all laundry is brought in, differing family members may take turns for different tasks depending on who is at home on specific days. It is not really a one person job, but rather a family task. that is the way it works in every single family I know. Every single one.

[goldberry]

DD does her own.  I don't have to worry about partial loads, because she waits until every item she owns is dirty and therefore she is forced to do laundry. 

 

When her clothes were washed with ours, DH did a lot of laundry and clothes seemed to disappear.  Sometimes they appeared in my closet.  DD is a medium, I am an extra large. :confused1:  So anytime anything was missing it was blamed on DH or me.  So we finally said she could do it all herself and nothing would be missing.

[Tina]

I have always found it strange that over there people get family members to do their own laundry.

Mine were all doing their own laundry by age 12.  I let them pick a day.   They had to learn that some days were booked. They couldn't bump the person who got that day if they wanted to do them at the same time.  As for the evenings, well if that's what they choose to spend their evenings doing...  I've got better things to do--sometimes. ;)

[Shellydon]

About conserving water, we have washers that adjust according to load and my loads are full to mostly full usually.  The youngest washes everything together and uses color catchers.  When my oldest was coming here to wash his clothes, he also generally washed stuff all in one load and yes he had smaller loads but the machine adjusted.  I was never super strict about only doing my own= like I do own a lot of reds and pinks and purples so I would take one of the kids red shorts or something like that to wash.  But I hate laundry and didn't see any reason I should do it any longer than I needed to do it.  I am always amazed by the posters here who have children cleaning the whole house on a regular basis.  But laundry- yes they need to do that.  

 

The last 3 washing machines we've had (the last 18 years) have all had a sensor that adjusts for load size.  Prior to that, we could choose from 5 different load sizes, so wasting water was never an issue.  It costs somewhere between 11 and 20 cents in electricity to run a load, so running a few extra smaller loads costs very little. 

[amy g.]

My kids are not allowed to do laundry on the weekends. Saturday and Sunday are reserved for their dad to do his laundry because he is at work during the week and they are not.

 

If they put it off or forget, I tell them they will just have to wear dirty clothes until Monday.

 

Fortunately for them, Dh is more accommodating and will usually work out a compromise with them.

Edited April 18, 2017 by amy g.

[ktgrok]

My teen does his own, and has for years. But he always has full loads...he waits until he runs out of clothes, lol. 

 

I do the littles and DH and mine. 

 

 

[gstharr]

Mine were all doing their own laundry by age 12.  I let them pick a day.   They had to learn that some days were booked. They couldn't bump the person who got that day if they wanted to do them at the same time.  As for the evenings, well if that's what they choose to spend their evenings doing...  I've got better things to do--sometimes. ;)

 

 

  My mother had all the kids in our family washing and ironing their own clothes around this age.  I still launder and iron my dress shirts.

[QueenCat]

I have always found it strange that over there people get family members to do their own laundry.

 

Not all of us do that. It'd be wasteful (water) in our house. Hubby and I have our loads combined, usually 3 different types of loads, by fabric type not color (jeans, lightweight fabrics and whites- his undies, t-shirts, heavier socks). Sweater loads in the winter are smaller and usually just mine. As are delicates loads. One son who is home does his own, but  throws his jeans in with ours. We do all of our towels together. Sheets are done together.

Edited April 18, 2017 by QueenCat

[Carol in Cal.]

I do most of the laundry in our household.  I've been through too many droughts to be comfortable with the inevitable small loads if we don't combine.  What I gave up when I started working was using the clothesline.  I found it too time consuming, and no one else ever really learned how to, say, gauge whether the jeans were completely dry before bringing them in, or hand up tshirts with four shoulder clothes pins so they would avoid needing to be ironed.

[DawnM]

Honestly, we don't have tiny loads.  The boys do their entire week's worth of clothing, and that usually includes their sheets and towels.  We don't separate.  Never have.  

 

And the washer adjusts the water level per load (front load so it uses less anyway, then also adjusts.)