How can I plan the remainder of my children's homeschooling years to be done without me?

[Chloe]

I've recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I do intend to fight this battle with all my being, and I do believe God can heal me if it is His will. But I also have to be prepared for the worst. I have been given anywhere from 18 months to several (?) years. 

 

Our children have always been homeschooled and my dh has no intention of putting them in a brick and mortar school even if I am not around. He's very supportive of our homeschooling, but he has always left it up to me to do things as I see fit. He has asked that I plan out, as best I can, the remainder of our children's schooling. Our oldest graduated last year and our next one will graduate this spring. Our two youngest are who I need to plan for. They are 8th and 4th grades this year. We aren't exactly sure how this will work. My dh may hire a tutor to oversee their schooling, but he would like my input on what I would like the children to study and materials I prefer. Also, we live in PA, so the state requirements are pretty strict.

 

I would love to know how others would go about this. We've always had a pretty eclectic style of homeschooling, dabbling in Charlotte Mason (Ambleside) and Robinson Curriculum at times. I'm happy now that I've worked towards getting my dc to work as independently as possible by high school.

[regentrude]

No advice, just hugs and good thoughts for healing.

 

Or maybe a tiny bit of advice: document thoroughly what you did with your older kids, what you used, what assignments they did, etc. This may allow your DH to replicate their coursework for the youngers. Yes, every child is different - but tailoring everything to their preferences may not be possible. Following in their siblings' footsteps is the next best thing.

Edited December 12, 2016 by regentrude

[kolamum]

Wow, first off I'm really sorry that you got such rotten news.  :grouphug: 

Secondly, I worry a little bit, that if you make a list if there will be a need for your husband, in the future, to follow it without wavering to honour you. Does that make sense? As things change {curriculum} & needs may differ {children} I wonder how easy it would be to make a long term plan if someone wasn't willing to override things if they needed to be without feeling guilt or concern.

I'd think the best you could hope to do is something very loose like:

8th Grade

x Math Curriculum if applicable {readiness}
Ancients {or whatever you'd want your child studying at that time}
Biology {see note above}
French {or whatever language..}
Etc.


I also wonder if using an "out of the box" curriculum would make things a little easier on all of you for a while & into the future. You've asked a really hard question, & I bet you'll get a lot of interesting answers..

[Donna]

:grouphug:  So sorry you have gotten this news and will add you to my prayer list.

 

 

[Garga]

One option:

 

A friend of mine (she and I both live in PA) with a full-time daycare business uses this cyber school. She is very pleased with it. She's used two others and didn't like those, but is happy with this one. She cannot take more than a few minutes at a time to work with her daughters homeschooling them, and so she relies on this school to do it for her.

 

Her kids are in 4th and 6th (I think), so not sure how it is beyond those grades.

 

ETA: To remove the incorrect school and give you the correct school name: Pennsylvania Leadership Charter School or PALCS.

 

And I am so sorry for that diagnosis.

Edited December 12, 2016 by Garga

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I am so sorry you received this diagnosis, and you have my prayers and good thoughts for total healing and strength!

 

I believe regentrude's advice is the best any of us could offer -- if you'd document your older children's journey, the example might prove useful for your 8th grader's high school. And then whomever supervises his high school education would have that experience on which to model the younger child's.

 

This approach has an added benefit for you, of letting you get to this task and finish it, without becoming overwhelmed by it. You're remembering, not reinventing; then you can tailor and tweak as occurs to you over time, to accommodate for differences you already know about.

 

You could then do the same thing for 5th to 8th -- write down what you did with your current 8th grader, and then go back and make changes or add further instructions as you feel inclined, over time.

 

It may very well be enough to offer these templates, without doing anything more (thus leaving a wide door open for flexibility and customization). Your heart and standards will shine through, I am very sure, to a degree that your husband and anyone helping will be able to strive toward that same spirit and level of accomplishment, so that all of your children will receive a very good education even if the details of curricula and coursework differ.

 

God bless you.

 

 

No advice, just hugs and good thoughts for healing.

 

Or maybe a tiny bit of advice: document thoroughly what you did with your older kids, what you used, what assignments they did, etc. This may allow your DH to replicate their coursework for the youngers. Yes, every child is different - but tailoring everything to their preferences may not be possible. Following in their siblings' footsteps is the next best thing.

 

Edited December 12, 2016 by Tibbie Dunbar

[quark]

:grouphug: I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I am so sorry for this news.

 

I agree with recording the journey that you took for the two older kids but also making a note about being flexible with the youngers so that their true interests/ passions will be respected. I also wonder if you would have big picture goals that you would love for them to be able to achieve and then work backwards from there on some ways that these goals could be achieved. Or writing down things your DCs might have shared with you about what they love, things your DH might not know about if he's not there 24/7 with them. Depending on how you are feeling, managing pain and exhaustion, maybe it could just be a simple flowchart. Too much detail might just bog you down and cause your DH further worry about follow through not being according to your wishes.

 

Also, depending on how you are feeling/ how much energy you might have, maybe a (brief) list of good websites/ curriculum stores/ online classes for your DH to refer to?

 

Sending more hugs your way.

Edited December 12, 2016 by quark

[Upennmama]

I'm so sorry. Do you have any local friends who could help? I think in your situation I might ask a few friends if they could add my kids to their school. I know that sounds like a lot, but a good friend might see it as an honor and a help. Where in PA are you?

[Garga]

I've recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I do intend to fight this battle with all my being, and I do believe God can heal me if it is His will. But I also have to be prepared for the worst. I have been given anywhere from 18 months to several (?) years.

 

Our children have always been homeschooled and my dh has no intention of putting them in a brick and mortar school even if I am not around. He's very supportive of our homeschooling, but he has always left it up to me to do things as I see fit. He has asked that I plan out, as best I can, the remainder of our children's schooling. Our oldest graduated last year and our next one will graduate this spring. Our two youngest are who I need to plan for. They are 8th and 4th grades this year. We aren't exactly sure how this will work. My dh may hire a tutor to oversee their schooling, but he would like my input on what I would like the children to study and materials I prefer. Also, we live in PA, so the state requirements are pretty strict.

 

I would love to know how others would go about this. We've always had a pretty eclectic style of homeschooling, dabbling in Charlotte Mason (Ambleside) and Robinson Curriculum at times. I'm happy now that I've worked towards getting my dc to work as independently as possible by high school.

In an above post, I got the name of a recommended online school wrong. I wanted to draw your attention to that fact, so I'm quoting you and giving you the correct name.

 

Here's the name of the school my homeschooling friend is very pleased with: Pennsylvania Leadership Charter School or PALCS.

Edited December 12, 2016 by Garga

[happypamama]

Oh mama, I am so sorry. I can't imagine how incredibly hard this is. Hugs and prayers.

 

I think documenting what you're doing and have done is a really good idea, but you may need to make things more broad for your DH too. Who knows what things may come up?

 

I second Garga's advice to consider cyber schooling here in PA.

[Julie of KY]

So sorry about your diagnosis.

Agreeing with others that it is hard to plan for too far in advance.

 

I'd tend to make a generic plan - middle school covers these subjects and high school needs to do 4 credits math, English, science, etc. I'd then list multiple options per subject with some pros/cons of each and then maybe he can decide with the input of each student.

 

It's very hard to predict how independent each child will be years from now, how fast they'll progress, where their passions will lie, etc. It's also an unknown as to what companies will still exist, what new ones will be there, and how things may change. Give some big picture advice - for instance allow each child to pick some of their own studies, allow input as to difficulty of schedule, allow student to progress through math at a rate reasonable to that student - not some predetermined rate, etc.

 

I'd look at some online courses in which your husband or tutor can oversee, but won't have to do all the teaching. I'd also try to find some things that are more flexible so that no everything is an online class. Maybe history can be reading good books or watching Teaching Company videos. It can be very hard to keep up with multiple online courses.

[MerryAtHope]

I'm so sorry, and praying for you.

 

I think I would write out a flexible plan. I'd preface with something like, "Our homeschool has always been about a loving family and meeting the individual needs of our children. Sometimes a program doesn't work for a child and they need something that is a better fit, or they need freedom to pursue interests. I hold all plans loosely--plans can be changed and should be changed in many circumstances. With that in mind, I offer the following plans for each child." 

 

Obviously you'd make that personal and fitting your family--but I think a preface of something that makes it clear you would welcome and encourage changes as needed would give freedom and prevent your husband or kids feeling tied to specific plans--let them know what you feel would honor them is homeschooling and being close and not a specific curriculum.

 

Then to details:

 

First, consider the programs that you used with your oldest that you really like. Did you like your math program throughout high school? Science, history, literature, composition? Make a list of all the curriculum you like that you think could be used throughout. (My two used the same math, but one went further. Same science, one went further. Same history, the other went further. Same lit and composition companies. Different foreign language and some electives different.)

 

The next thing I would do is consider whether all of your children are likely to need or want a college prep education. If so, I would plan out a basic 4-year high school plan that looked something like this:

 

3 years Social Studies (more if the student is interested--and I'd say it something just like that so that it's clear you are saying that dad and the student have input into choosing and changing things. I required 1 year US, 1 year world, 1 semester government, and 1 semester student's choice.)

3 years Science (Specify one or two years with labs depending on what state colleges in your area tend to require. again, more if interested. In my area, they tend to really want biology on the transcript, but are more flexible with other science courses. Some areas want both bio and chem. If you have elite students or a STEM student, physics and an advanced science might be considered.)

3-4 years math (based on requirements in your area. Usually Alg 1 & 2 and Geometry are the minimum.)

4 years English (specify if this is lit & composition, or if you want speech included--if there's a good way to do speech locally etc...)

2-4 years Foreign Language (preferably the same language for at least 2 years.)

1 fine arts elective (music lessons, art lessons, theater production, music or art appreciation...). 

Other electives as the student is interested or depending on your desires (for example, a health class, PE classes, world views, logic...anything that you feel is the minimum you want for your children--not every last thing you might wish to do, but a minimum for high school graduation to set them up well for life.

 

Then list out the curriculum that you like in each area, but specifying that if a student needs something else, there is freedom to look at other curriculum. 

 

Finally, look at the curriculum that your other children have used to get ready for high school, and make a general plan for your 10 year-old for the grades between now and high school. 

 

Your husband may think of "school" in a more regimented way than you do (he may think X needs to be done in X grade or that everything is the same...). So you may need to write some of your philosophy into such a plan if you find things more fluid, or if you tailor subjects to your children's bent or interests. I tend to think of a "do the next thing" kind of plan, but don't feel every student needs to get to the end of "what's next" (ie, math, science, social studies possibilities). 

 

I think your children are old enough to have some voice in helping to create their plan of study too. I always talked with my kids each year about what they would like to learn, what they enjoy, what they don't, what they wish they could change about school etc..., so you may be able to get some general ideas from your kids as well. 

 

I hope this helps somewhat.

 

 

[freesia]

I am so, so sorry about this diagnosis and pray God will heal you completely.  To be honest, what I would do is chose some kind of all in one curriculum that is planned out.  I would consider Sonlight first, as we used it in the past and loved it.  I would also look at My Father's World and BJU (particularly as the have the online streaming classes).  I would begin transitioning my children into which ever I chose now so that they knew how it worked before I started not to feel well.  Alternatively, in PA, I would also consider the online charter option.

 

For Foreign Language, I would consider Homeschool Spanish Academy as it is directed by the Skype teacher and very easy for the parent.

 

May God grant you peace and blessings.

[Guest]

I am so, so sorry that you are dealing with this. I just wanted to throw out one of my own thoughts, as an older parent who might not have enough time left at Hotel Life to finish the job with my youngest.

 

I expect grief. I expect the guardian to be a different person than I am and to do things differently. I do have careful documentation about what worked for my two older homeschoolers (which was very different and both of them chose different options for high school that I would not personally describe as "homeschooling") and I do have an extensive home library but the guardian also knows that although I don't want the caboose baby enrolled in a brick and mortar school, I also want as little stress as possible on him while he is adjusting to post-me life.

 

Therefore, the first year or so I would like for the legal requirements to be fulfilled and the academic expectations of whatever grade he happens to be in to be covered enough that there are no social issues, nosy neighbours, or acquaintances questioning the guardian's ability to parent, but I don't want them exceeded. I want the guardian to cross all the Ts and dot all the Is as quickly and inexpensively as possible and then support the caboose baby's personal interests, self-soothing, and healing.

 

His older siblings' curricula isn't going anywhere and will be comforting to him when he is ready for it. I have the perspective of a 27yo DC who is still in grad school and a 24yo DC in the military who will finally get to be a full time college student when he completes his deployment. It's not perfect, but it's not the end of the world either.

 

Graduating at 19 without mental health issues would be my preference to graduating at 17 on psych meds.

 

HTH and gives you permission to worry less.

 

Just in case you don't already know, here is someone who can help your kids with learning how to do more independent work and help your DH with this transition:

 

http://beachhigh.education/

 

He is a man and has been involved in the secular homeschooling community for a long time and is very well respected. To the best of my knowledge, he will respect and support your family's faith.

Edited December 12, 2016 by Guest

[Elizabeth 2]

Hugs Chloe. I can't even imagine.

 

I wanted to suggest listing what curriculum you have tried, but that didn't work and why. The small "what to avoid" details are as helpful as what to look towards. Maybe it was a boxed curriculum and it didn't work for one or more. Perhaps digital curriculum doesn't work as well in one subject as another. Maybe it requires too much extra organization or sourcing and you know from these relationships that it's likely to be a burden if they tried it.

[MiMi 4under3]

You've gotten very solid advice above.

 

I have nothing new to add, only that I would highly recommend online classes or an online school to make it easier to implement (log-on and do the next thing), to grade (computer-scored, or online teacher scored) and keep track (online grade book and class calendar) regardless of the subject or the child's age.

 

I'm very sorry you're dealing with this! 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Another Lynn]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:   Praying for you!

 

I think I would make notes about several different options for each child.  For example Plan A, the get 'er done approach., Plan B, the eclectic approach, Plan C the combo, Plan D the triage plan.  Also, notes on recommendations for outsourcing, as well as a few "xyz is the curriculum of last resort" because of such n such concern.  I would also think about the dc's extracurricular activities and social groups - are they solid and comfortable in these things?  Will they have good support from outside the family?  Also, is there a homeschooling friend that you and your dh are both friends with who knows the children well and could be a sounding board or advisor when needed?  I also agree with Regentrude and others who suggested documenting the path of your older kids.  

[Chloe]

Thanks so much everyone! A lot of great ideas! I am just brainstorming and plan on putting something together after the holidays. Right now I want to cherish every moment of this season and spend as much family time as possible. To be honest, my heart isn't really in to homeschooling right now. And I've always enjoyed it, especially the planning. My children are still plugging along, but we are taking frequent breaks to get together with extended family members and friends as much as possible. We will buckle back down in January and I'll get to work on my future plans. Thanks again for the suggestions. Very helpful!!

[Lilaclady]

((((((hugs))))) to you and your family.

[lanalouwho]

How awful to get this news! I'll be praying for you and your family.

 

I think the best course of action would be to document what you've done, a little about your philosophy and your thoughts on your students (as in, their learning styles, what motivates them, any passions or interests). Then set some goals and milestones, not only academic but life skills as well. I would leave these a little more open-ended so the educator and student have a little flexibility.

 

This is an impossible situation and I'm so sorry it's happening to you. You will be in my thoughts.

 

Sent from my HTCD160LVW using Tapatalk

[Professormom]

Thanks so much everyone! A lot of great ideas! I am just brainstorming and plan on putting something together after the holidays. Right now I want to cherish every moment of this season and spend as much family time as possible. To be honest, my heart isn't really in to homeschooling right now. And I've always enjoyed it, especially the planning. My children are still plugging along, but we are taking frequent breaks to get together with extended family members and friends as much as possible. We will buckle back down in January and I'll get to work on my future plans. Thanks again for the suggestions. Very helpful!!

 

I was wondering how much you wanted to plan and also how much your energy level is affected by your illness. I think I would start high level and keep working down when you feel like it. In other words, give him a high level, outcome-oriented year-by-year outline based on notes from your olders. Then, stop, set the homeschool plan to the side, rest and enjoy the moments with your family.  Then, a few weeks later, maybe add thoughts about curriculum dos and don'ts, a note reminding him that you trust him and that you will be ok with whatever he decides to do; that he should feel no guilt if he has to put them in school because you know that circumstances change and that he may need one less new thing on his plate while he is grieving and helping the kids through their grief at the same time.  

 

(I do echo the suggestion of Sonlight by someone upthread, not just because it is boxed and laid out, but because they really emphasize the heart issues and how people get through really rotten life circumstances with grace.)

 

Then, keep a journal near you where you can add your thoughts as they come to you without having the stress of creating "the plan". He will have a guidebook, written by you with love.  You will get the important pieces of your heart on paper, but it will not eat up the precious time you have with your family.  I, too, have a great love for planning, but I could see it being especially trying if I knew that I was not going to be there to implement it.

 

Finally, be gentle with yourself. Your energy and ability to handle everything life is throwing at you will probably vacillate wildly. I know I would want to have everything in place so I could leave them in the best way possible. I also know that I would never be able to put everything in place that my dh and kids would need, and that would sadden me greatly and make me feel a little desperate. The school stuff will work out no matter where they are or what curriculum they use.

 

I apologize if this response is clumsy. My heart hurts for you, and I will be praying for healing and, if that isn't in the cards, for true peace in your heart and strength for you and your family.

[frogger]

I am so sorry. That is hard to imagine. I wish it could be different.

(((hugs))).

 

 

You have lots of advice much which I agree with, write down philosophy, leave room for flexibility, maybe a list of resources to help my husband and a letter to remind him of what I feel is important. That would include he has a good relation with children first and foremost and adapts as needed etc. I'm so very sorry.

[Miss Mousie]

Chloe, I am SO sorry for what you're facing.  :grouphug:

 

In case it helps - here is a thread I started a year ago about homeschool contingency plans.  I hope there is something in there that helps you.

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/555618-do-you-have-a-homeschool-contingency-plan/?hl=%2Bcontingency+%2Bplan&do=findComment&comment=6433288

 

:grouphug:

[mamiof5]

I have no advice regarding the schooling... but, SO MANY prayers for you and your family!!!!!

[Melissa in Australia]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

 

you and your family are in my  thoughts

[jjeepa]

:grouphug: So sorry for the diagnosis you received.  Praying for you and your family.

 

 

[beka87]

Chloe and Margaret in CO - I am so sorry, and you and your families will be in my prayers. 

 

Chloe, I can't think of much to add by way of advice - you've gotten a lot of really good ideas already.  I think the only other thing you could add would be some overall big picture guidelines, things you and your husband both find important that would serve as a sort of litmus test for what he decides to do with the younger children as the years go by.  Sarah MacKenzie talked about a Rule of Six (or 5 or 7, whatever works)...basically, a short list of things that guide your home (and school) life and help you make decisions.  Some of mine, for example, are Relax Together, Read the Best Books, Encounter Nature....but you can have these be more specific as well.  I was just looking at my list and thinking that it, combined with all the talking my husband and I have done about child rearing and education, would be so helpful to him if he was to have to finish this thing without me.  I use my list frequently - in day to day hectic times and also bigger things like what curriculum to use, what subjects to include, what out the home activities to take on...if something doesn't contribute to the Rule of Six, or worse hinders it, I have no problem ditching it and moving on the important things I've already settled on.

 

I do not know you or your husband, so I'm not sure if this would be helpful or not, but I thought I'd mention it.  Many blessings this Christmas and in the coming year.  *HUGS*

[displace]

(Hugs)

[Tarreymere]

One option:

 

A friend of mine (she and I both live in PA) with a full-time daycare business uses this cyber school. She is very pleased with it. She's used two others and didn't like those, but is happy with this one. She cannot take more than a few minutes at a time to work with her daughters homeschooling them, and so she relies on this school to do it for her.

 

Her kids are in 4th and 6th (I think), so not sure how it is beyond those grades.

 

ETA: To remove the incorrect school and give you the correct school name: Pennsylvania Leadership Charter School or PALCS.

 

And I am so sorry for that diagnosis.

 

Not that it matters, but that is the school that kicked me out of their parent's group on the grounds that I was a 'danger' to the other parents.

 

I applied to get into the group after our enrollment was approved and our paperwork completed, was accepted into the group by the admin, and posted about how nervous I was to be leaving traditional homeschooling to enroll in a cyber school. I got a few supportive replies, then I was booted.

 

I asked why, and the admin of the group jumped all over me about how I should not have been in the group until after our orientation, which was supposed to happen the following week. Um, YOU approved me, lady. I didn't hack my way in, LOL!  She told me I represented a "danger to all the other parents" and made me feel that I should apologize or something.

 

I felt that the climate of 'blame the parent, even when we clearly screwed up', was not conducive to a happy school experience IMHO. So, I canceled the orientation and told them to go screw themselves. "Danger", indeed! 

 

I can't recommend any cyber charter school in PA, unfortunately. It would definitely be a last resort. 

[Garga]

Not that it matters, but that is the school that kicked me out of their parent's group on the grounds that I was a 'danger' to the other parents.

 

I applied to get into the group after our enrollment was approved and our paperwork completed, was accepted into the group by the admin, and posted about how nervous I was to be leaving traditional homeschooling to enroll in a cyber school. I got a few supportive replies, then I was booted.

 

I asked why, and the admin of the group jumped all over me about how I should not have been in the group until after our orientation, which was supposed to happen the following week. Um, YOU approved me, lady. I didn't hack my way in, LOL! She told me I represented a "danger to all the other parents" and made me feel that I should apologize or something.

 

I felt that the climate of 'blame the parent, even when we clearly screwed up', was not conducive to a happy school experience IMHO. So, I canceled the orientation and told them to go screw themselves. "Danger", indeed!

 

I can't recommend any cyber charter school in PA, unfortunately. It would definitely be a last resort.

Oh dear. I had no idea. :(

[Farrar]

I think you've gotten good advice - outline what you did with your olders to serve as a template, write down your big picture vision and goals. But then, and I can only speak for me, but if I was in that situation, I think I'd want to also be clear that it would be okay not just to be flexible, but to change course if needed, especially for your youngest.

 

Holding you in the light.

[FloridaLisa]

Chloe, 

 

What a brave, brave question to ask this group. What a wise mama to gather and prepare your children. My hat is so off to you as you walk this path and my prayers will surely be with you.

 

I wanted to answer from the perspective as single mom still homeschooling after my dh died suddenly. Here are my thoughts: 

 

*Grief will affect what the homeschooling looks like. It takes every bit of mental and emotional energy to process everything, to begin to understand and make a new normal. Everyone responds a bit differently and that will show up for your kids. Some kids need a schedule to keep going and some kids need to scale back to a core of school. Our loss hit without any notice whatsoever, during the summer thankfully, but still that next school year was hard. I so appreciated the time we had together to talk, to feel everything together, to discuss, to do lots of Bible study, to read books together. The ample time made available by homeschooling is a gift. 

 

*For me -- as the teacher -- I could only do core schooling. I had so much to do and the grief itself consumed my thoughts. I needed to mother my kids and that was my focus. 

 

*look for a solid co-op, IRL classes or online classes that can continue to give some continuity and structure. We were in a co-op and those families stepped up in so many ways for us -- bringing meals, crying with us, understanding my kids and knowing the backstory, continuing to speak about my husband into my kids' lives. <---  All of that helps with the healing. 

 

*try to take care of as much paperwork as possible beforehand. Transfer titles, share passwords, consolidate accounts, make decisions as much as possible. What a gift that is. There is so much paperwork with an estate but these things can free up needed time for your spouse. 

 

*find one or more mother's helpers, babysitters, tutors that can help your husband. It takes a village will never be more true. You wear an incredible number of hats and it's likely that it will take many folks to help fill what you give to your family. I have a high schooler who comes in one morning a week to teach math and reading. If I could do more, I'd probably have her in 2 days a week and if our situations had been reversed, I'd want my husband to have someone at home a lot so he had fewer nights to cook, to clean, to teach, etc. 

 

*when friends ask what they can do to help -- give them a specific prayer request like one of your children, schooling, a financial need, your husband, etc. and ask them to commit to pray long term for that. At least a year, hopefully much longer. Your husband will feel their prayers and they are such a part of the healing and moving forward. Heaven only knows what the prayers of others -- including people on this board -- accomplished for us spiritually and practically. 

*and then give your friends a tangible way to help later. I really think so many want to help but don't know how. There's so much more than making a casserole, though that's a great start. Picking up kids for an afternoon, helping with driving, calling at the grocery store and asking whether anything's needed, taking kids out to shop on Father's Day, for Christmas, for your spouse's birthday so they have something special for dad. Come cheer your kids on at their games and ballet recitals. Help with Easter baskets? Lots of the kinds of Christmas goodies you always make?

 

My prayers are with you and your family. God bless you today and this Christmas ~

 

Lisa

 

 

 

 

[frogger]

That was an interesting read, as we're now looking at this. Dh has Stage IV melanoma. I'll be able to get dd graduated and she has 5 good college acceptances. It's weird to be thinking of the end of our hsing days at the same time thinking this may be the last Christmas with dh. I really thought we'd be still in this house, surrounded by piles of grandkids for years to come. Not likely to happen now. I am grateful that we'll be able to finish up.

 

I'm sorry Margaret.:(

[cintinative]

Not sure if this has been shared, but if you have noted specific strengths, weaknesses, and passions in your kids, I would note them in writing. Those might influence curriculum choices down the road and help the tutors if they have trouble implementing something. 

 

I would definitely note how you want your faith to affect the schooling. Are you okay with secular resources if there is discussion of specific topics? Who would do that discussion (dad, or Christian tutor, etc.)?  What sort of Bible study do you want them to do?

 

This might be a really good time to write letters to your kids about what you love about them, the strengths you see in them, and special memories that you cherish.

 

Most of all, I want you to know I am praying for you. I can't even imagine. I am so very sorry you and your family are going through this.

[Chloe]

That was an interesting read, as we're now looking at this. Dh has Stage IV melanoma. I'll be able to get dd graduated and she has 5 good college acceptances. It's weird to be thinking of the end of our hsing days at the same time thinking this may be the last Christmas with dh. I really thought we'd be still in this house, surrounded by piles of grandkids for years to come. Not likely to happen now. I am grateful that we'll be able to finish up. 

 

So sorry, Margaret. The grandkids thing is hard. With my oldest graduated last year, I had really been looking forward to those days. Especially since we bought what I consider to be my dream house two years ago. It's the perfect setting for family gatherings with lots of grandkids. 

[Chloe]

Again, thanks so much everyone! I can't respond individually right now, but I want everyone to know I really appreciate the kind words, advice and prayers!! 

 

 

[...................]

Praying for you and Margaret

[East Coast Sue]

You're in my prayers. I can't begin to imagine how difficult this is for you, but I pray for peace and comfort for you.

[YaelAldrich]

You're in my prayers.  My little sister is also diagnosed with Stage IV cancer, although she has no children. I am not sure how much medical intervention you will be trying to prolong your life, but depending on what medications/interventions you are pursuing, you will have better and worse days.  Please do work on your plans, but I would  also prioritize letters/videos to your children and husband on your good days.  I know you will be a blessing to all your children and family.

[FloridaLisa]

That was an interesting read, as we're now looking at this. Dh has Stage IV melanoma. I'll be able to get dd graduated and she has 5 good college acceptances. It's weird to be thinking of the end of our hsing days at the same time thinking this may be the last Christmas with dh. I really thought we'd be still in this house, surrounded by piles of grandkids for years to come. Not likely to happen now. I am grateful that we'll be able to finish up. 

 

Margaret, I'm so sorry to see this. Your family has already experienced such deep grief with the loss of your to-be son-in-law. Sending prayers and hugs to you. <3