Younger siblings who don't play with toys (does this happen in other families?)

[Janie Grace]

There are two sets of brothers in my home -- two teenaged sons and two elementary aged sons. I just realized (as I was cleaning their room) that the younger boys don't play with toys. AT ALL. I think it might be because of the older brothers. 

 

When the big boys were little, they played with all sorts of stuff... Playmobil, Lego, Snap Circuits, etc. But the little brothers don't. They want to play football or soccer outside (with the big brothers), climb trees, do art/write stories at the table, play computer games, or play board games/chess. I am not completely sure why this is. I think it's partly that they gravitate toward the "big kid" activities they see their older siblings doing. Maybe it's that we are more lax and allow more screen time (though still not a lot). Or maybe it's just preference/personality. It is weird to me to really have NO kids playing with toys! (And the youngest is 6, so it's not like I have all big kids.)

 

I am curious. Do/did your younger sibling kids give up toys earlier in exchange for "big kid" play?

Edited October 19, 2016 by Janie Grace

[maize]

Not all kids are drawn to toys.

 

Some of mine have always preferred drawing or climbing trees etc. We don't actually have a lot of toys in the house.

[Tangerine]

I actually thought toys were some kind of racket with my first two.

[Artichoke]

Our youngest had no desire to play with toys.  She just wanted to move.  

[Hilltopmom]

Here too. My littles are pretty little still but mostly just chase each other around.

I saved all the "good" toys from the teens- Lego, playmobil, snap circuits, etc... Sure hope they play with them as they get old enough.

Right now, they have little interest in the preschool/ toddler toys.

(& spend a lot of time getting carted to big kid stuff)

[fraidycat]

Neither of my kids played with toys. That didn't stop us from having a houseful from gifts, but mine always preferred towels, blankets, boxes, laundry baskets, climbing things (including trees), kicking or throwing balls, etc.

 

Toys were a waste of money.

[Hilltopmom]

Our youngest had no desire to play with toys. She just wanted to move.

This. My littlest only uses toys as something to throw or climb on, or jump on, regardless of the actual type of toy. He's currently using a big Tonka truck as a ride on horse & trying to make it bounce.

(We own several other riding toys- I'm thinking of getting him a Rody bounce horse for Xmas)

[JustEm]

One of my nephew's is like this. His siblings are 9 and 6 years older than him but he is also about 2 years behind mentally so the gap is even bigger. My sister started cleaning out their house of little kid toys because he never used them. So we got Legos, blocks, and other toys from her. But we found that when he came to our house he thrived by playing with all those things. At home he preferred to do what his older siblings were doing like play Minecraft and play sports outside

[J-rap]

Some of my kids weren't as drawn to toys either.  They preferred make-believe play on their own, or crafts with simple supplies like paper and scissors and crayons, or making up games outside.  

 

But, I wouldn't be surprised if birth order has at least something to do with it in your case.  They probably look up to their older siblings and observe what they're doing.

[Anne in CA]

My youngest never played with dolls much, she made "set ups" where she set things up for the dolls, ran them through a couple of scenarios and then was done playing that way for awhile. She did have a good friend who played with dolls until well past her 13th birthday. With her friend she would play with dolls and other toys, but really only with that friend. Mostly my daughter wrote stories and songs that her friends acted out and sang. 

[Janie Grace]

Interesting. I guess we are not that unusual after all! I am freshly resolved to just throw/give away all the unused toys cluttering up their room. I keep thinking "how can I get rid of their TOYS?" But truly... they DO NOT USE THEM. Need to get this through my head and just take the toy-free plunge! (Will save Legos though... just cannot part with those, and I have a feeling they'll be resurrected when it's freezing outside.)

[MEmama]

Mine is an only but never played with toys. I don't think its too uncommon.

[HeWillSoar]

My youngest was never into toys.  His brothers loved getting new Lego sets, Bionicles, Star Wars toys, but him, he just never really got into those things.  I was going through his closet once and found unopened birthday presents from the previous year!  The one toy he loves are his Keva planks.  He combines those with Beanie Babies and has battles and creates these elaborate scenes.  He's into reading about outer space, the elements and playing strategy games.  I don't think that has anything to do with being the youngest, in his case.  It's just his personality.

[MerryAtHope]

On the other hand, 6 is pretty young for snap circuits and even Lego to some extent, depending on dexterity and imagination etc... I found my son got interested in Lego at an older age (more in the 8-10 range), and liked different things at 6. I also find some kids need more modeling to get a feel for how to play with things. But I do think it's normal for younger brothers to want to be with their older brothers.

[cjzimmer1]

I've found that my kids are the opposite.  The wooden thomas set sat unused for years and got shoved in the corner.  Now that the 3 year old is firmly in the train phase, it a permanent fixture on my living room floor.  But there is always these eloborate designs and bridges and under and overpasses designed by the older siblings "for the 3 year old" to play with.  However, some of them are beyond the 3 year old and so the big kids have to "help" him navigate the trains all around the set.

 

I remember one year one of my young daughters recieved a doll house.  All the kids (up to age 12 and the oldest 2 were boys) played with that thing for a week straight.

 

Now my big kids do like their stuff but it seems everyone is looking for an excuse to play with the the "little kid" toys.

[SKL]

My kids are "virtual twins" (3 mos apart in age).  One of them has always loved toys and still does.  The other has never been a toy person, despite having tons of toys and no older siblings to copy.  I think it's personality more than anything else.  Or possibly (since she has some learning issues) it could be some sort of odd wiring issue.  She does other things to have fun, though.  Loves friends, sports, video games, and make-up (and has since preschool).  Her favorite kind of "play" these days is to pretend she's a ninja, silently sneaking up on people.  Perhaps she has a future in espionage ....

[Guest]

No, my middling who is a "set" with my oldest, is ALL ABOUT their toys.

[umsami]

We are facing this, too.  He will play with toys when the older brothers play, but not really by himself.  He wants to be a "big guy" like them and have some sort of electronic device. 

[Julie Smith]

One thing that has surprised me is that my boys aren't that into Lego, or other building toys. The absolutely loved toys are teddies. They have an older friend who will bring over his teddies and they will all play with them the majority of the time. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

No it was the opposite.  My older kid never liked most toys and my younger kid definitely played with toys.

 

 

[BlsdMama]

There are two sets of brothers in my home -- two teenaged sons and two elementary aged sons. I just realized (as I was cleaning their room) that the younger boys don't play with toys. AT ALL. I think it might be because of the older brothers. 

 

When the big boys were little, they played with all sorts of stuff... Playmobil, Lego, Snap Circuits, etc. But the little brothers don't. They want to play football or soccer outside (with the big brothers), climb trees, do art/write stories at the table, play computer games, or play board games/chess. I am not completely sure why this is. I think it's partly that they gravitate toward the "big kid" activities they see their older siblings doing. Maybe it's that we are more lax and allow more screen time (though still not a lot). Or maybe it's just preference/personality. It is weird to me to really have NO kids playing with toys! (And the youngest is 6, so it's not like I have all big kids.)

 

I am curious. Do/did your younger sibling kids give up toys earlier in exchange for "big kid" play?

 

 

I am/have always been an outdoor person.   My kids are horrible toy players.  We've purged a lot of the "have to have" toys over the years that we began with because they just sit there. There are a few exceptions and they like outdoor stuff - bikes, the tetherball, basketball, etc.

 

We also have a lot more (encourage more) boardgames than when the olders were little and there are more sibs to play with.  (Think - if you have two kids and one doesn't want to play a game, you can't go find another who WILL play, kwim?)

 

For me?  I think it's a matter of when they were little I simply didn't encourage being still and playing a lot.  I did go through a heavy Waldorf period with playstands, silks etc., and strongly encourage/set aside time to play, but without me carving out time specifically for that, it faded to just occasional instances in favor of outdoors and/or art time.

 

ETA: My exception was my 11yo.  He is a Lego kid.  Could play all day, alone, with Legoes and audio books.

Edited October 19, 2016 by BlsdMama

[SparklyUnicorn]

One thing that has surprised me is that my boys aren't that into Lego, or other building toys. The absolutely loved toys are teddies. They have an older friend who will bring over his teddies and they will all play with them the majority of the time. 

 

One of mine loves his stuffed animals most of all.

[maize]

Stuffed animals have been popular here too.

 

Paper is the most used material in my house though--for drawing, cutting, gluing, taping...

[Julie Smith]

One of mine loves his stuffed animals most of all.

 

Most of the stuffed animals in this house have:

- a name

- a back story

- a theme song

- belong to a group (The Brown bear society or the Brain Eaters Are Us)

- claim to have written books, or some similar achievement. For example Ted (A brown teddy bear) claims he created TED talks, and that they are all held with him in mind. 

- have various standard behaviors. For example Ted can mind control people and stuffed animals, but not frogs. Zombie Frog likes to eat brains, but only brains of stupid people or stuffed animals...

 

They also have a place or role or 3 distinct pretend universe which may include:

- A home planet

- A evolutionary past (Why the stuffed animal evolved to have the various features it has)

- A money system 

- Various technologies such as weapons, space ships, ...

- Various battle preferences. Panda likes to actually battle, but not grow food, Jigo will grow food and supply Panda with food in exchange for protection from the Kitties. The kitties like to use lots of small ships when attacking. ... It is all very complicated. 

[SKL]

LOL some of your toys remind me of our doll Yaya.  (Yaya used to be one of a set of triplets, each with her own personality, but two of them disappeared at some point.)  Yaya is naughty and prickly and keeps us laughing!  Despite being very soft, she is dangerous as she does Tae Kwon Doll.  This all started when my youngest (2 or 3yo then), unwilling to sass the usual way, would channel her hardheaded attitude through her doll.  If anything ever happens to Yaya, I will miss her for sure.

 

My other kid (the non-toy person) has favorite triplet polar bears.  They are more loyal and pleasant than Yaya, usually.  Though one of them occasionally becomes Yaya's boyfriend.  One odd thing about this kid is that she never really named her toys.  Even her most special bear was "Bear" and then "Baby Bear."

[Zinnia]

My oldest has NEVER played with toys beyond a cursory 5 minute exploration of something new.  NEVER.  EVER.  :)

 

He went to school this year, and it has given my 8 year old (who is his frenemy and always with him with the two are at home together) a chance to come into himself a bit.  He now plays with Legos and art supplies.

 

My younger two, who are 6 and 4, play all.day.long.  All.day.long.  They pretend, they act things out, they do all the things the books say is "normal" development.  

For us, it has been 1000% personality driven.

[MysteryJen]

My youngest almost never played with toys. Balls, rackets, hockey sticks, bikes, etc. I think blocks were almost the only toy he used on a regular basis.

[mamiof5]

Yup!! Our baby (now 2) moved quickly from baby toys into diecast cars, legos etc. Trying to play like his 8 yr old brother maybe? And my 10yr old dd has ALWAYS caught up to her 12yr old sister (which is understandable, they are 17 months apart). But this Christmas we are making an exception and getting something for the 12yr old and 10yr old dd is not getting it yet...she wasn't happy

[lovinmyboys]

I sometimes wonder if kids who play with toys are more of the anomaly than the ones who don't. All 4 of mine have really played with toys. They all love toys. My oldest is 10 and is starting to outgrow them, but he still likes them. My 4 and 6 yr olds bring a bucket of toys with them when they go to older siblings activities. People usually seem surprised and tell me their kids never played with toys. I didn't really play with toys as a kid, but my kids do love them.

 

I do think you are on to something with the birth order though. My younger kids definitely outgrew their toddler/preschool toys much faster. My 4yr old never plays duplo anymore and prefers Lego. My older kids were still really into duplo at 4.

[nd293]

I think screen time has a lot to do with it, and personality. Ds doesn't play with toys. He jumps on the trampolining, kicks ball, has sword fights with the palm tree, listens to his iPod (audiobooks), reads, plays on the computer (weekends only). We have Lego sets he got when he turned 5 yrs that haven't been opened. He does have an older sibling, but she's not inclined to play much with him, except the odd board game.

[SKL]

I come from a family with 6 kids, with the oldest 4 spaced about 2 years apart.  The youngest of that group was the one who played with toys most and longest. I'm not sure she ever actually stopped playing with them.  :P  In adulthood, she went on ebay and purchased the toys she hadn't really wanted to give up in late childhood.  :P  So I kind of doubt this birth order theory.  But maybe it's true for some.

[PeachyDoodle]

Neither of my kids played with toys a lot. DD liked her stuffed animals and her Legos. That was about it.

 

DS hardly plays with toys at all. He prefers pretending, and most of the game seems to take place in his head, as he runs or hops. He rides his bike and occasionally breaks out the Legos or matchbox cars. Otherwise he couldn't care less. As far as objects go, he's always preferred real household items (e.g., the -- unused -- bath loofah he named Fluffy). He turns 6 next week and the only things he has asked for are a mailbox (not kidding) and a blue belt.

 

Doesn't stop the grandparents from overloading on stuff he never touches. But at least we always have a stash of new gifts for birthday parties!

[rose]

This is making me feel a little better. My 5yo doesn't play with toys much and I've been uneasy about it. Partly, he just drives me crazy because he's bored so often. His siblings are all toy players though. He loves story time and he'll do preschool workbooks or draw pictures for hours a day. I think that he'll be my first to devour non-fiction once he can actually read.

[nd293]

This is making me feel a little better. My 5yo doesn't play with toys much and I've been uneasy about it. Partly, he just drives me crazy because he's bored so often. His siblings are all toy players though. He loves story time and he'll do preschool workbooks or draw pictures for hours a day. I think that he'll be my first to devour non-fiction once he can actually read.

Ds loved audiobooks at this age. Still does, but then he used to put his iPod in a backpack and ride up and down the road on his bike. Or jump on the trampoline while listening. The more I think about it, he does all sorts of weird inventive stuff. A few minutes ago he was outside rolling backwards down a slope while balancing on all fours on my large exercise ball!

[DawnM]

Two oldest played with all sorts of things.  Oldest more than middle.  Youngest didn't play with toys much AT ALL!  He only wanted to be doing what the big boys were doing.

[ErinE]

DS14 played with toys.

 

DD10 climbed trees, roamed the woods, made crafts, and drew. Playing with toys meant putting "makeup" on Barbie, cutting the doll's hair, or punching holes in the wall with a screwdriver (true story~tools were not put away promptly).

 

DS3 like toys in his bed and bath, but otherwise, doesn't play with them. He draws, climbs furniture, jumps on beds, goes into my kitchen cabinets, and runs around the house.

 

DD2 plays with toys all the time.

 

I think it depends on the child's personality.

[KungFuPanda]

My oldest ignored the toys and hung out with the adults. I was shocked when my youngest would disappear from sight and I'd find him in the playroom playing with toys. He's also the one that would do what the TV told him. "Stand up and clap kids!" My oldest ignored that too.

[LLMom]

Same thing here. Two youngest rarely played with toys while the orders did when young. Weird.