So if you had kids 16 months apart and you wanted to teach them together...

[StaceyinLA]

wwyd?

 

Dd has a son who will be 5 in August and a daughter who will turn 4 in December. If you were going to try and keep them together, would you start the nearly 4yo doing some K stuff this fall (though obviously not expecting she'd be able to do it all), or would you keep the 5yo back and start them both in K stuff next year? Or would you do none of the above and just teach them on their own levels?

 

She has another younger child, so I'm just thinking having the 2 older ones in the same level would simplify things for now and even down the road.

 

What are your thoughts?

[ktgrok]

I'd do them at their own level for math and phonics...that's too big a gap for my tastes. Read alouds, social studies, science could be done together. 

[MASHomeschooler]

I would probably just start at the 5yo's level, inviting the 4yo to participate as much as she can/wants. If she keeps up, continue together. If not, start her on her own later. It would probably end up being a mix like ktgrok said (maybe not even at first, but when math and LA get a little more involved).

[luuknam]

I think it really depends on the kids. Sometimes kids who are x months apart on paper, are really more like x+y months apart in practice, and other times they might be more like x-y months apart. My kids are 3 years 3 months apart, but they seem a closer than that. For example, they both learned to swing without needing to be pushed this year; my oldest about 3 months ago, and my youngest yesterday. For most other things the gap is a bit bigger, but usually smaller than the actual 3 years and 3 months they're apart on paper. However, my younger brother and I the gap seemed like it was bigger than the 2.5 years we're apart.

 

Unless the 3.5yo is really bright, K stuff is probably too much to expect this fall. However, private schools here use a June 1st cut-off, so they'd place the kid turning 5 in August in pre-K this coming year, and doing pre-K with both may or may not work. It probably wouldn't work for all subjects, but you won't know what does or doesn't work until you try.

[NoseInABook]

My plan was to do two separate levels but the December 4 year old girl ended up answering the questions that I would ask my September 5 year old boy so I just started her in K at age 4. They're still on the same level and they're starting 3rd grade this fall.

[Julie Smith]

My boys are 18 months apart. 

 

I was never able to teach them any skills together. No reading, phonics, math, writing, printing, cursive, ...

 

Together they listened to history, audio books, science books. 

[Guest]

My kids are 23 mos. apart, so a little farther. My experience was that my son was way ahead and my dd was behind a lot more in the early days. So, back in K, 1st, 2nd, there was much more of a gap as they learned to read and do beginning math. Today, at 9 & 11, they are much closer than they were back in the beginning. So, except for math and grammar, they do everything else together, even writing, for the most part. They read the same literature assignments, too. I would start each child where they're at and adjust as they get older. My opinion.

 

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[Arcadia]

Mine are 12 months apart and I have to teach them separately for the 3Rs. My SIL has to after school her twins separately too as each has different strengths and weakness.

 

We did history, science and math enrichment together.

[StaceyinLA]

Well I definitely think dgd is smart enough, but don't know that she'll sit still enough. ;-p. I do like the idea of just teaching them both on his level and seeing where she falls into it. Dd will be using MFW K and doing phonics and math separately anyway, so that may wind up working out perfectly.

[smudge]

My girls are two years apart, almost to the day! Both were born in Oct, so in this town they would start K at nearly 6. My older DD went to PS for K and 1st grade before we started HS (behavioral issues, ADHD). Now the whole time older DD was in 1st grade, younger DD wanted to "do school" too. So while 1st grader was doing homework, so was younger. I made her sheets to practice letters and some simple math. Once we actually started to HS at the beginning of older DD 2nd grade year, younger DD was working mostly at a 1st grade level instead of the K which she would have started in PS  had she gone. 

 

Now we are starting 5th and 3rd. They each do their own math- but younger is catching up to older on this. They each do their own spelling. But English, science, history, type, grammar we all do together. I must say it is rather convenient!

[Calm37]

My youngest two, 18 months apart, stayed together all the way through starting with my 3 1/2 year old sitting in on her five-year-old sister's reading lessons. That little cutie learned to read, too!  So it is possible for it to work. They did all the same courses through 10th and graduated together.

[desertflower]

You have gotten some great advice.  I think it depends on the kids.  My older two are 1 1/2 years apart.  I used to teach them together especially at that age.  It's not too hard to tailor down a program.  I ran into a little snag that I didn't realize would happen.  My dd feels like she is not competent in math.  My ds is pretty good in math and logic puzzles.  I used to put problems on the board and have him do it in his head.  It didn't occur to me that she would feel incompetent.  She now believes that math is my ds' thing while reading is her thing. 

 

What am I going to do moving forward, I'm not sure.  There's a free audio from Circe institute that I wish I had known about.  (Not sure if I would have done anything differently though).  Title of the audio is Teaching Boys and Other kids Who Would Rather Be Playing in Forts.  He talks about how boys and girls learn differently.  I highly recommend this audio. 

 

Warm wishes.

 

 

[lanalouwho]

My 2 year old likes to sit in on our kinder lessons. He obviously can't do the worksheets yet, but he answers questions sometimes. I would start them both together, and perhaps modify things for the younger if you feel she needs it.

 

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[Rachel]

I think it really depends on the kids. My oldest child would have been ready to start school 3.5. My youngest just turned 4 and he probably won't be ready for table work for at least another year but it wouldn't surprise me if it were longer.

 

One thing to consider is whether the kids are really competitive with each other. It might bother the older child if the younger one worked at the same level in everything. Again, I think that depends on family culture and personalities of the kids in the family.

 

My friend has girls who are 13 months apart (plus two more close in age). She didn't start homeschooling until they were in 3rd, 2nd, and 1st grades. The two older girls are in the same level of math and it works well for them.

[Sahamamama]

I would teach them everything together until/unless it became apparent that it was time to offer individual instruction, and even then, I would only split out that specific piece for one-on-one time. The more they can do effectively as a group, the better, IMO.

 

More free advice: ;) For the most part, my identical twins have been on the same level with everything (up to now, at least). Along the way, I've noticed that on the rare occasion when one child doesn't seem to grasp a concept or skill as quickly as the other child, it really does not take much "extra" one-on-one time to bring that child up to understanding. I read somewhere, years ago, that a student who is slightly lagging needs one-third more one-on-one instructional time. I have no idea if this is empirically true, but in my experience with twins, it seems to hold true. Amazingly, this One-Third More 1-on-1 Rule has worked well for us.

 

Say, for example, that a 2nd grade math lesson is about 30 minutes long. Student A understands and applies the new concept, but Student B struggles. At some other time in the day, we spend 10 "extra" minutes (1/3rd of the lesson time) working one-on-one (Teacher + 1 Child) on that concept. It clicks! I realize this might not work all the time for everyone, but I have seen it be "enough" time and time again here.

 

All that to say... if your daughter begins with both students, if on occasion one student seems to not grasp something as quickly as the other, this doesn't necessarily mean it's time to split them out and teach them separately. It may mean that this student needs 5-10 more minutes of one-on-one instruction at another time. If she does this, and the student still seems to need a slower pace, then perhaps that is the sign that they need separate working levels.

 

FWIW, my three daughters are 22 months apart. The oldest works on her own level for Math, English (grammar, composition, vocabulary), Assigned Independent Reading (A.I.R.), French, and Instrument. The twins are on the same level as each other for all of those subjects, but not up to their older sister's level. We work as a group for Bible, Literature, Science, History, and Enrichment (various things that we rotate). It helps me IMMENSELY to keep them together as much as possible, but I wouldn't combine them more than this. HTH.

Edited July 7, 2016 by Sahamamama

[Targhee]

Skills (phonics, spelling, writing, math, etc) teach independently, and as close as they are I would choose two different curricula so no one is comparing.

 

Content (history, science, the arts, etc) do together.

 

The difference between 4 and 5 is very big - much bigger than the difference between 14 and 15. Give them both the chance to develop at their own pace. That's one of THE biggest advantages of homeschooling.

[StartingOver]

My youngest two are 21 months apart. We have worked at their own levels in reading and math and combining everything else. Sometimes my youngest just listened in and participated as desired. It is amazing how much she picked up when I didn't think she was paying attention. Now at 10 and 8, they really are on the same level in every area except math, my youngest has surpassed her big brother.

 

It might take a bit of time, or not work out at all. But no harm in trying, in my opinion.

 

Edited to add.

 

My older kids 3.5 years total between the three would have never combined in any subject.

Edited July 7, 2016 by StartingOver

[reign]

My oldest and middle are 16 months apart. The baby came 18 months after that. I started them separately but middle daughter caught up to oldest by the end of first grade. They do all subjects together. Youngest does her math, logic, reading, and spelling separate. I combine all the girls for science, history, grammar and read alouds.

[busymama7]

I have had close to that age gap with older boy and younger girl. I have found it works perfectly to teach them together for reading/phonics but not math for whatever reason. I would wait a year and then start the learning to read lessons if it was me.

[sweetpea3829]

Depends on the kids, but I think it's doable.

 

My four are all within 3 1/2 yrs. So the ages break down like this:

 

DD10

 

DS9 (11 months younger)

 

DS8 (16 months younger)

 

DS7 (13 months younger)

 

 

DS9 is accelerated and DD10 has LDs in math. They are combined for all language arts and are pretty similar ability. I taught them how to read at the same time and just adjusted accordingly when one advanced past the other, but for the most part, they were easy to keep together.

 

Notice that DS9 and DS8 are 16 months apart! But they are not combined except for history, science, and Bible/character. Their abilities are too spread.

 

The younger two boys....I started them each separately, but after the younger one learned how to read, I began moving them closer together, holding the older one back a bit until the younger one caught up. They are combined for all subjects with the exception of phonics.

[lexi]

My kids are 16 months apart. My son is 8 and my daughter is 7. I could potentially teach reading together but my son is a struggling reader and his younger sister is passing him up in reading skills. So it I taught them together he would be discouraged. My son is quite good at math and his sister cannot keep up with him there. So they are separate in math as well.

 

I teach Bible, science, history, and Spanish together.

 

Math, reading, spelling, writing, and grammar have to be done separately. They are just not at the same level at all in those subjects so it would be impossible to combine them.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'd do them at their own level for math and phonics...that's too big a gap for my tastes. Read alouds, social studies, science could be done together. 

 

This is what I'd do. 

[....]

I say Go for it!

 

My oldest two are about 13-14 months apart.  I'm combining them for high school.  When they're little, that age difference seems pretty big.  When they're older, it's not a big difference at all.  They have their own math, but everything else they are doing together.  Honestly, they could even be combined for math if I pushed it.

 

Think of the money we can save by combining!   :tongue_smilie:  Instead of buying 8th grade and 9th grade curricula, I only bought 9th grade.

 

Over the years, those two were combined - then separated - then combined...  DH convinced me over the summer to just combine them for high school and move on.  He was saying, "WHY are you doing this to yourself???"

 

FWIW, my two have similar abilities (except in math) and they both want to go into the medical field (similar interests).  

[....]

My kids are 16 months apart. My son is 8 and my daughter is 7. I could potentially teach reading together but my son is a struggling reader and his younger sister is passing him up in reading skills. So it I taught them together he would be discouraged. My son is quite good at math and his sister cannot keep up with him there. So they are separate in math as well.

 

 

They may even out later.  My son was a very late reader - he couldn't read until age 8.  My daughter was an early reader - CVC words at 4.  He actually spells much better than she does.  At 13/14, they are both at the same reading level.

[Guest]

I would probably just start at the 5yo's level, inviting the 4yo to participate as much as she can/wants. If she keeps up, continue together. If not, start her on her own later. It would probably end up being a mix like ktgrok said (maybe not even at first, but when math and LA get a little more involved).

Mine are 12 months apart and this is what we do. My youngest will sit there all day for math or Kumon pages, but she wonders away for phonics. She listens to read alouds but usually walks around while listening. I just try to meet her where she is and concentrate more on ds for actually "getting it". We keep it pretty light and only focus on math, phonics and lots of read alouds right now.

[Sherry in OH]

I would teach to the 5-year old’s level and have the 4-year old tag along as she desires.  When the 4-year old is of compulsory school age, math and language arts on their own levels, everything else together. 

 

[lllll]

nm

Edited July 9, 2016 by ~ d9n

[cintinative]

My two are 21 months apart and we have done a lot together over the last four years.  Other than the obvious (Bible, read alouds), we do history, science, art, music, grammar and writing together.  For the writing, I did more scribing for my younger one earlier on and have phased that out as we move along.  They do math and spelling separately.  Early on I had them both read aloud to me separately. Now they are rising 4th and 5th so they read silently to themselves.  

 

ETA: We did all four levels of FLL, so that means my youngest did FLL4 in 3rd grade. It was tough for him, but since we are revisiting a lot of what we learned this year and after, I am not so concerned about it.  Honestly, my 4th grader still struggles with identifying parts of speech in a sentence sometimes (even though he can diagram them??) so we are looking at doing Fix-It in the fall.

Edited July 7, 2016 by cintinative

[StaceyinLA]

Thanks for all the advice! I'm going to share all of this with dd. I'm thinking she will be doing both together for the bulk of it, and just the phonics and math separately at this point. However, since she's just starting the actual phonics with dgs, maybe dgd will wind up picking up more than she realizes and she can jump in there.

[Tess in the Burbs]

mine are 20 mo apart and we did history/science/spelling/grammar together well into middle school.  Math was always a level apart.  But I have read, and it's true in our house, that a girl will be on even keel with the boy for many years due to maturity coming earlier.  My kids asked to split apart science in middle school, but then asked to be together again.  Split the following year by interests.  I am glad we did so much together over the years.  Only downside was my boy felt like his younger sister was too close with him in school.  Now she's equal or surpassing and it's hard on him emotionally.  Apparently it's common with that gender/age dynamic. 

 

[Cake and Pi]

ITA that it's going to depend on the kids, and things may change over time.  I think skills separately and content combined is a good way to go.

 

My #1 and #2 are a year and a half apart chronologically and about 2 years apart in math, 3-4 years apart in reading ability, but doing the same for content subjects, handwriting, and language arts (other than reading) now about 3.5 years into our HSing journey.  I started #1 right around his 5th birthday with just the 3 Rs and then 1.5 years later started #2 also around his 5th birthday with the 3 Rs separately.  The following year (this past year) we added content subjects with the two boys combined.  It's going well.

 

My #2 and #3 are 2 years apart chronologically and it's looking likely that #3 will catch up to #2 within the next couple of years -- but I will keep them separate for skill subjects to avoid competition and bad feelings that may arise in the older child being caught up to.  

 

#3 and #4 are a year and a half apart chronologically, but developmentally/academically the gap is more like 5+ years and widening -- they will likely never be combined for anything.

[fdrinca]

My oldest are 15 months apart. 

 

They do everything together, except phonics/reading and math. 

 

We do everything at my younger child's level (spelling and grammar, specifically), which is fine as we're not running a race. 

[Guest]

I have not been able to teach my two together, ever. It's not a question of smart. They are very, very different in the learning department.

[FriedClams]

I agree with others (and this is our age gap) - math and phonics at their level, everything else together. It worked for us until the older one hit high school and waved their own stuff.

[StaceyinLA]

This is all really great information. I appreciate the input. I think once they are both reading fluently, it'll be easy for them to be together for all but maybe math.

[LEK]

My eldest 2 are 19 months apart. I started out teaching dd1 at the time she was due to start school, dd2 tagged along for all content subjects but did not do any phonics/reading/math.
dd2 was meant to start school 2 years behind her sister but ended up starting 1 year behind as she was so keen (although I say she is in her age based grade), she has always done her own math and language arts but everything else is combined, sometimes I adapt the difficulty between them and sometimes they are doing the exact same work.

Now at grades 2 and 4 they are still doing science and history together although there is more of a gap between the output I expect than there was in the earlier years. They are doing language arts and math separately and will continue to do so.

[NancyNellen]

Well, I had the exact same set up a number of years ago. Boy 16 mo. older than girl. Kept them together for grammar, history, science, Latin, etc. Separate for phonics and math. Worked out great! They are now a freshman and sophomore in college. The question is the maturity of the younger. My daughter was mature - so it worked out well.

[Citrusheights5]

3 sets of kids, first 15 months apart, second set 13 months, last 11 months. (With 5 years btwn set 1&2 and 3 years btwn set 2&3) honestly it was easier to pair off year sets than the sets. They each seemed so different from each other, that it was easier to hand them different curriculum than to modify one. My boy from set one was a math wiz, and daughter was good in literature and English. Set 2 of two boys same. Set 3, same. I wish you luck because Im sure you will figure out what's best!

[vonfirmath]

I'd do them at their own level for math and phonics...that's too big a gap for my tastes. Read alouds, social studies, science could be done together. 

 

This. I'd start them at their own levels and just combine content subjects as you can.  Unless their natural inclinations lead you to feel they are actually closer in level. My son would NOT have been happy to be held back. He had already started teaching himself to read, numbers, etc. before I started teaching him at barely age 4.  My daughter wants to read, but is not as ready as he was though she is almost a year older than he was then.

[Carrie12345]

My daughters are 13 months apart.  The younger was always invited to join in when they were little, but I didn't really start requiring anything of her until she was a bit older, and even then it was gradual.

 

Over the years, they've mostly stuck together for science and history, and some aspects of Language Arts once the younger was reading (which she did much later than her sister.)  They've always needed to be separate for math, and writing has usually been differentiated when not separate, including within their science and history programs.

 

This year, they have French, Human Geography, and Environmental Science together (as well as some extracurriculars) but I still expect to need to differentiate. I'm not going to grade my less academic 8th grader at a 9th grade AP level.  That would be cruel.

 

Meanwhile, my 5 and 9yos work well together in science and history activities, and like to play math and reading games together even though the older is certainly stronger in those areas.  Helping his brother does seem to be strengthening his late skills.

 

I am a fan of grouping, so long as the expectations are appropriate for each individual child, regardless of their age gap.