US: almost 1/3 of 18-34yo living w/ parents

[hornblower]

"For the first time in at least 130 years, young people between the ages of 18 and 34 are more likely to be living at home with their parents than in any other living arrangement."

http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/young-people-living-at-home-1.3599364

It's an interesting change. In Canada it's higher, esp in cities with the crazy real estate prices. 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Although that's a pretty ridiculous range to use for the stats. 

[MegP]

Agreed. Many 18 year olds are still living at home between graduation and moving to the dorms for college.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I mean geesh, many 18 year olds are still in high school. 

 

And even if they are still living at home upon graduating with a 4 year degree, again this is a huge amount of time before the age of 34. 

[Excelsior! Academy]

Dd is 19 and most of her peers still live at home while attending university.  I can think of 7 colleges off of the top of my head within a 30ish minute driving distance.  Why would one pay to live on campus when one can live at home and have a 15 minute commute?

[Ausmumof3]

I wonder what it would have looked like if they had down ages 20-24? 18 is young.

[SKL]

I did until I finished college at 21.  Made a lot more sense than paying for a dorm room / meal plan.  My folks were still my mailing address while I was in a grad dorm.  So nearly 24, which is about one third of the way between 18 and 35.  So I'm not sure that stat means anything.

 

I had a few siblings who lived with my folks temporarily to shore up their financial resources.

 

I really hope that is a realistic option for my daughters too.

[SKL]

And one reason this is sort of "new" is that historically, people married and moved out younger.  It was still very normal (probably more normal) for females to live with their parents before marriage.  I have a friend whose mom about had a heart attack when each of her unmarried daughters moved out - and they were in their 30s.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

 

I'm 41, we'd be living with my parents if we could.

 

Thankfully we've found a place to live, so we won't be homeless. My kids (barring a few safety things) will always be welcome to live with us. DH is still struggling to find adequate full time employment.

 

I hate the economy is such that the change is necessary, but I never understood the idea of kicking them out of the best as fast as possible either.

[Xahm]

I saw this stat along with a "punk kids these days" headline recently, and it annoyed me so much. Not only does it make great financial sense in many cases for kids to live with parents in young adulthood, some "kids" in that age bracket are playing host to their parents. My bil had his (chronically unemployed) in laws living with them rent-free while he was in his mid twenties.

[SKL]

And I feel people are less willing to share with roommates.  I guess they'd rather have their own nice bedroom at Mom's house than share a cheap apartment with people they don't know as well.  Then too, living at home isn't how it used to be, i.e., sharing bedrooms / beds with the sibs, doing all the chores ....

[SKL]

I saw this stat along with a "punk kids these days" headline recently, and it annoyed me so much. Not only does it make great financial sense in many cases for kids to live with parents in young adulthood, some "kids" in that age bracket are playing host to their parents. My bil had his (chronically unemployed) in laws living with them rent-free while he was in his mid twenties.

 

That's a good point too.  I am friends with a couple who are both in a rehab facility, and their son is taking care of their house.  He is buying his own house presently, so it's not that he's a slacker, he's doing his parents a favor.  My brother, who is a nurse, has said in the past that he'd move in and care for my folks if they needed nursing care.  I thought that sounded great!  Now he has a big house of his own, so I don't know if he still feels the same way.

 

[Matryoshka]

Dd is 19 and most of her peers still live at home while attending university.  I can think of 7 colleges off of the top of my head within a 30ish minute driving distance.  Why would one pay to live on campus when one can live at home and have a 15 minute commute?

 

LOL.  My dd is going to university 15 min from home, and she'll be on campus.  She wanted to feel more independent (and I don't blame her).  Fortunately she got good merit aid there so we can afford the dorms...

[DawnM]

I honestly will encourage it, they can work, save their $$ for a nice downpayment on a place to live when they get married, etc....

 

 

[hornblower]

The Canadian stats track people in their 20s so that cuts out the 18 and 19 yo's. 

"according to the most recent Statistics Canada census, 42.3 per cent of people in their twenties lived at home in 2011. "

I'm going to guess that when the results of the 2016 census come out, that number will be even higher. 

[Matryoshka]

I was in the dorms during college, but my formal address was at home until I graduated from college, and then I moved back home for almost a year, so I guess I'd be counted as 'living at home' from 18-22...??

 

And I feel people are less willing to share with roommates.  I guess they'd rather have their own nice bedroom at Mom's house than share a cheap apartment with people they don't know as well.  Then too, living at home isn't how it used to be, i.e., sharing bedrooms / beds with the sibs, doing all the chores ....

 

Living with roommates is the only way I did afford to move out for good.  I love my parents, but I couldn't wait to move out after college - I just needed to get a job that would pay the rent, and affordable rent ended up being in a closet-sized room in an apartment I shared with 3 other girls.  I answered a classified ad in the paper looking for a roommate - I'd never met any of them before that.  By the time I met my dh, I was down to just one roommate, but I have never lived alone.

Edited May 29, 2016 by Matryoshka

[TammyS]

That's a ludicrous age gap to make a stat with.  The 34 year old could nearly be the parent of the 18 year old.  In fact my sister's son is 19 and graduating this year and she's 35.  Most 18-22 is traditional college age, which would have the kid listed as "living at home".  Many college students will move home after graduation to look for work.  Many 18-22 year olds not going to college will live at home while attending other technical ed., or just getting started in the work world. 

 

A more meaningful stat would be 25-30 year olds.

 

[regentrude]

I was in the dorms during college, but my formal address was at home until I graduated from college, and then I moved back home for almost a year, so I guess I'd be counted as 'living at home' from 18-22...??

 

No, the article specifically mentioned college students living in dorms being counted separately.

[momacacia]

We have neighbors right next to us who have a late 20s child at home, and a 27 and 25 year old still at home. Only one has health issues that prohibit further academic or employment pursuits.

[Chris in VA]

My 26.5 yo lives with us still. I was surprised when dh allowed it beyond the first 6mo or so after college. I think it is important to get out on one's own, even if you struggle a bit. Dh is all about the financial aspect, but

I am less so.

[Tsuga]

Yeah, I can't think of any 18-21yo's who don't live at home. Seems to me that during the college years kids would still claim to be living at home. Mine do, even though they live in dorms.

 

And even those who, like me, didn't live at home, I kept my mom's address for voting (we have vote by mail in the US) and taxes and such. It was just easier and more consistent than changing every year. I was filing single anyway, not head of household.

Edited May 29, 2016 by Tsuga

[bettyandbob]

I doubt the majority are living with mom and dad to enjoy their own bedroom. Rent where I live is astronomical. I know a few 20 somethings. No one wants to live with mom. They want to feel like adults. Living with mom doesn't feel like being an adult to most people. The on exception is people who may be first or second generation immigrants whose family culture is to live in an extended family group. I know a man who lives with his parents who is 28. He has a well paying IT related job. He is getting married and his wife will move into his family's home too. That is the exception. Other young people would like to afford apartments with room mates.

[Excelsior! Academy]

I doubt the majority are living with mom and dad to enjoy their own bedroom. Rent where I live is astronomical. I know a few 20 somethings. No one wants to live with mom. They want to feel like adults. Living with mom doesn't feel like being an adult to most people. The on exception is people who may be first or second generation immigrants whose family culture is to live in an extended family group. I know a man who lives with his parents who is 28. He has a well paying IT related job. He is getting married and his wife will move into his family's home too. That is the exception. Other young people would like to afford apartments with room mates.

 

My dd does, but our house has several bedrooms.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I wonder what it would have looked like if they had down ages 20-24? 18 is young.

 

To me an age range of 24/25 to 34 would be more telling.

 

More students than ever are going to college so that might account for the under 24 crowd. 

[Ausmumof3]

I think it also depends what you are comparing to. Like the previous 50 years could just be an idyllic time in history where it was relatively easy to launch out in your own. Certainly looking back at certain times women could never really launch without being married or something. Is an extended time of family togetherness really something weird or just a return to the norm.

[Excelsior! Academy]

Location and culture matter.  Small towns likely have more extended families living together.  In high school I lived in a town with <1500 people.  The town now has closer to barely over 500 residents.  Our elderly neighbors' 40 year old daughter lived with them. Later she stayed on their land in a trailer house.  It wasn't weird at all, nor was she a deadbeat.  It just didn't make sense for her to have her own separate house.  And, no, she didn't live there to care for them.  And, yes, they all worked.  Elderly neighbors sold a food product that is now in major stores and daughter was (a nurse?).

[Bluegoat]

And I feel people are less willing to share with roommates.  I guess they'd rather have their own nice bedroom at Mom's house than share a cheap apartment with people they don't know as well.  Then too, living at home isn't how it used to be, i.e., sharing bedrooms / beds with the sibs, doing all the chores ....

 

Although, to take this a little more internationally, I was a little shocked to see the numbers of Londoners living with roommates in their 30s and 40s.  Of course the real estate prices there are particularly high, but that is true of other big cities too.

 

I'm not against things like extended families become more the norm, or even different kinds of living arrangements for singles - a lot of people used to live in boarding houses and such.  In many ways it's much more reasonable way to use resources.  But I think it's a change worth noting, and it really bothers me that the richest keep earning more while this is going on.

[Garga]

I think it also depends what you are comparing to. Like the previous 50 years could just be an idyllic time in history where it was relatively easy to launch out in your own. Certainly looking back at certain times women could never really launch without being married or something. Is an extended time of family togetherness really something weird or just a return to the norm.

 

I like the way you said that: just a return to the norm.

[Bluegoat]

LOL.  My dd is going to university 15 min from home, and she'll be on campus.  She wanted to feel more independent (and I don't blame her).  Fortunately she got good merit aid there so we can afford the dorms...

 

Yeah, I lived at home my first year of university - it was about 1/2 hour on the bus, so not bad at all.  I lived in dorms for two years after, and then close to campus with roommates - it was in both cases a completely different experience, even academically.

[The Girls' Mom]

Honestly, I think the past 130 years in the US have been an anomaly in the history of humans as far as living with a family unit.  Throughout history, and in many cultures, it would be considered odd to move out of the home or village and live so independently away from extended family.  

[Butter]

I lived with my parents until I was 35.  It was not constant.  We moved in with them in 2009 because my *dad's* company was struggling and they went to part time.  So we lived in the house my parents owned, but we were helping them out.

[hornblower]

They are comparing to 130 years of data. If you have a look at the actual Pew Report, it says :

 "In 2014, for the first time in more than 130 years, adults ages 18 to 34 were slightly more likely to be living in their parents’ home than they were to be living with a spouse or partner in their own household. 1"
 

 The main reason is that people are not marrying early. 

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2016/05/24/for-first-time-in-modern-era-living-with-parents-edges-out-other-living-arrangements-for-18-to-34-year-olds/

[Pawz4me]

Ehh . . . statistics w/o context mean nothing.

 

As others have pointed out, it's possible some of this is from children supporting their parents.

 

Two personal scenarios --

 

I lived with my parents until I was almost 23.  I was saving to buy a house of my own, living with mom and dad to cut my expenses and skip the crappy apartment with roommates stage.  Not a bad thing IMO.  Not that I think being 23 and living at home is out of the norm anyway.  FWIW that was 1985.

 

We have a close relative who is a very well paid professional athlete.  He could quite easily afford to buy a home (or homes) anywhere in the U.S., even in the most HCOL areas.  And yet if he were answering this survey he'd likely say he lives with his parents.  He does in fact live with them during his off season.  During the season he travels so much that he lives in extended stay hotels in his team's city.  So he has no permanent address other than his parents' house, and yet he is quite well off by any standard.  ETA:  He's 26 years old.

Edited May 29, 2016 by Pawz4me

[SparklyUnicorn]

They are comparing to 130 years of data. If you have a look at the actual Pew Report, it says :

 

 "In 2014, for the first time in more than 130 years, adults ages 18 to 34 were slightly more likely to be living in their parents’ home than they were to be living with a spouse or partner in their own household. 1"

 

 The main reason is that people are not marrying early. 

 

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2016/05/24/for-first-time-in-modern-era-living-with-parents-edges-out-other-living-arrangements-for-18-to-34-year-olds/

 

 

Yeah I figured as much, but still I think that's a huge range which renders some of that kinda like "so what".  It would be interesting to see the breakdown per age. 

 

[Annie G]

Living with someone other than a spouse isn't an unusual thing in my family. 

 

Our two 20-somethings live with us. One is done with college and the other is not.  We have loads of room and it works out well for all of us. When dh and I travel the kids take care of the house and cat. Ds takes care of the yard, which dh and I do not want to do.   They have their freedom to come and go, but pay their own bills.  Some meals we eat together, often we do not.  At this time I really don't mind them being here. 

 

My sister's husband passed away several years ago and she now lives with her high school best friend, who also is a widow. It works great for both of them. 

 

My sister in law is building a house so my inlaws can live with her. We'd do the same if we lived closer, but they have no desire to live in our cold climate. 

 

Single people sharing homes makes a lot of sense. Who needs that much space for one person? 

 

If people respect each other, living together doesn't have to be a negative thing. 

[JustEm]

Dd is 19 and most of her peers still live at home while attending university. I can think of 7 colleges off of the top of my head within a 30ish minute driving distance. Why would one pay to live on campus when one can live at home and have a 15 minute commute?

Here, I did. And to make it even worse it was only a 15 minute walk. Some of my classes were even closer to my home than my dorm. But I only did that for a semester to meet people. Since I had free tuition and I was the youngest my parent's were willing to pay for it. So glad they did because I met my best friend the first night in the dorm.

 

But the rest of the 4 years I stayed at home. Same friend mentioned above even moved in with us to save money and because her classes were closer at our house than all the dorms.

[HS Mom in NC]

Hopefully more and more are staying at home after they graduated from college and get a good paying job so they can pay off their student loans ASAP. Remember, the cost of college is much higher than it used to be. The debt cycle is killing a lot of people in the US.

[JumpyTheFrog]

I read another article about this a few months ago. It stated (to my surprise) that more men have lived at home with their parents going back to before the 1930s (I think). I was really, really surprised to read that young women moved out at higher rates than young men even back then. I don't think it could all be accounted for by women marrying at younger ages than men, but I don't remember if the article addressed it.

[Tita Gidge]

This is the norm for my culture (at least until marrying, but sometimes even after marriage).

 

I always thought it made the most financial sense, so I'm not surprised by the number of US families who choose this option now (given student loans, high COL, etc.)

[SKL]

Although, to take this a little more internationally, I was a little shocked to see the numbers of Londoners living with roommates in their 30s and 40s.  Of course the real estate prices there are particularly high, but that is true of other big cities too.

 

I'm not against things like extended families become more the norm, or even different kinds of living arrangements for singles - a lot of people used to live in boarding houses and such.  In many ways it's much more reasonable way to use resources.  But I think it's a change worth noting, and it really bothers me that the richest keep earning more while this is going on.

 

Don't assume that the people doing all this sharing are too poor to live separately.  Maybe they come to prefer the arrangement that enables them to invest their money instead of spending it on redundant accommodations.  Maybe this arrangement enables some to move up faster.

 

[SKL]

The title is a little misleading, since the % of people living with parents isn't that much different from times past and is lower than in 1940.  But the distribution of population in other living arrangements is different.  Basically fewer couples living in separate homes, which is a bit of an anomaly in human history anyway.

[Audrey]

I'm 41, we'd be living with my parents if we could.

 

Thankfully we've found a place to live, so we won't be homeless. My kids (barring a few safety things) will always be welcome to live with us. DH is still struggling to find adequate full time employment.

 

I hate the economy is such that the change is necessary, but I never understood the idea of kicking them out of the best as fast as possible either.

 

 

I feel the same way.  Ds is always welcome to live with us.   We don't have much else to offer to support him, but he'll not be homeless if I have a roof over my head.

[redsquirrel]

I remember the first time I visited Long Island.  What stood out to me was how all the houses had like 5 or more cars parked out front. Often the front lawns had been converted to de facto parking lots. And it was a nice suburb, a middle class town, but the houses didn't look right to me, like out of proportion. I couldn't put my finger on it.

 

I asked my friend, with whom I was staying, and she and her dad explained to me that rent or to buy a new house was so expensive that families ended up living two and three generations under one roof. The cars were all due to the different adults with jobs. The houses looked off to me because they often had several additions put on to make room for grandma or when a son got married and his wife moved in with the family.

 

People like to stay near family. I think that's a good thing. Sometimes it means that you have to shove over and make room. It doesn't mean the kids are spoiled or indulged. It might mean they are just trying to make their way and the cost of living is insane.

 

My SIL's brother and his wife and two kids live with his father and mother in NJ. It's a big house, I think his dad owns a good business and they have the room. And he wants to stay close to the area. He and his wife have full time good jobs, they are both professionals. I suspect they are paying to live there. But they couldn't afford to buy a house in the area now. They run in the millions.

 

 

And I thought that by 34 it is possible that a child has moved in with an aging parent.

[LLMom]

I have 3 in that age range.  Oldest (now 25) moved out on own at 18 after graduation but didn't go to college.  2nd (now 23) moved out also at 18 after graduation, and my last adult child is 19 and still at home because he is in school--commuting while living in our garage apartment. 

[foxbridgeacademy]

Both of mine will live at home through College (10 minute drive or they can ride the city bus) and longer if need be. DS can get a good job in his (likely) field right here, heck he could go to work with DH.  DD can also easily find work, likely low pay/unpaid, here as well to gain some experience before heading off to bigger/better locations.  So we're looking at hosting them until they're at least 22, but most likely 24.  I think I would be very unhappy if they left home at 18. 

[Pawz4me]

If I'm being perfectly honest -- I think it's very weird that people seem proud when their kids move out at a (relatively) young age, or think it's bad that adult kids live at home.  I hear of a situation where a kid left home young and my first thought is always along the lines of "Apparently the poor kid couldn't wait to get away."  And when I hear of adult children living with their parents my first thought is they must be a close, supportive and loving family.  I know those thoughts aren't always accurate, but they represent the overwhelming majority of the situations I've known about.  I also don't know of anyone who moved out of their parents house before 20-22 who didn't struggle for a very long time.  Conversely, those who left the nest a little later always seemed to do quite well.  The only exceptions I can think of to that are the (very) few people I've known who joined the military right after high school.

[SKL]

I just remembered my friend, who will be 50 this year.  She and her parents jointly bought a house a decade or so ago.  Now it's just her and her dad, since her mom died.  Dad is there for daughter when she's sad or having employment difficulties (her very long-term employer did a big layoff, so she was out of work a little while).  Daughter is there for her dad when he's lonely or having health issues.  It works for them.

Edited May 30, 2016 by SKL

[SKL]

I think the negative stereotype is of someone who won't / can't hold a job because of poor personal habits.  And these people do exist.

[SporkUK]

Another article from Pew Research showing this is international reality, though a lot of the analysis I read when it came out discussed that this looked more like returning to previous practices - that the generations between here and 1920s were the unusual ones, but that this would be used in the media to continue to beat young people for not copying generations that had unusual resources that have been normalized. 

 

I moved out when I graduated high school at 17 - my parents viewed their job as done and couldn't wait to get rid of me (and I had done a lot of couch hopping in the years prior to that for a safer night's sleep). I did not know anyone else who moved out so early that does not have similar abuse/neglect stories. And now, at the upper end of the ridiculously big analysis ages, most of the late-20/early-30somethings I know live with friends, a few with family, and only a couple as the nuclear family -- and all of those I know have quite a bit of parental help still. We have a friend living with us, I'm not sure if we would count as married/co-habitating or other living situation. 

 

Seeing a better breakdown of the data would be interesting to me. 

Edited May 30, 2016 by SporkUK

[madteaparty]

I had the revelation the other day that current lifestyle (the one provided by us) is probably as good as it gets for many of this generation's kids. I think it's downhill from here. This is not as depressing of a thought because maybe they will learn to value different things, live in communes, etc.

Edited May 30, 2016 by madteaparty