Girls in the Men's Restroom

[rocassie]

My DH would prefer a family bathroom purely because there are often not many stalls as well as often the stalls are dirty.  However, bathroom usage is a need and therefore kids will be taken to the bathroom that is most readily available.  I trust DH to make the decision he needs to make at the time.

[heartlikealion]

My dh said that she wouldn't see anything because their back would be facing her if men were urinating. I'm sure he'd rush her in/out of a stall and try to avoid any visuals, but the thought was pretty unsettling to me lol. I don't care if it sounds "goofy." It would be out of my comfort level. I would have to trust dh's judgement (no family restroom options, child couldn't hold pee much longer, etc), but personally I would do my best to avoid it at all costs. As a grown woman I don't even want to go in there (hypothetical, there's a huge line for the ladies' and no one in line in the men's. I'd just wait).

 

For the record, I accidentally walked in on a male relative peeing when I was a kid. The bathroom door was closed, but connected to the garage. I tried to come into the house through the garage. Was pretty awkward and I guess I'd just hate to risk putting my child through something similar.

 

A lot of my reaction is fueled by the "ick" factor stereotype that the men's bathroom is more disgusting. More chances of stepping in pee?

Edited January 21, 2016 by heartlikealion

[Guest]

If you are outside, boys have it made. They can go behind a tree. Girls...that's a lot trickier. I always end up peeing on my shoes.

I kept a potty seat in the car for several years. Yes, I did. It was very handy on many an ocassion. Hell, I even used it once when I was a hundred months pregnant and waiting was not an option.

[Guest]

I kept a potty seat in the car for several years. Yes, I did. It was very handy on many an ocassion. Hell, I even used it once when I was a hundred months pregnant and waiting was not an option.

*cough*me too*cough cough*

[heartlikealion]

If you are outside, boys have it made.  They can go behind a tree.  Girls...that's a lot trickier.  I always end up peeing on my shoes. 

 

My family went to France and I had on overalls (hey, it was the 90s). This place only had a hole in the floor restroom. I was like NOPE NOPE NOPERS. I held it til I found a western style toilet. I basically would have had to get naked to not have a disaster and I was not going to do that.

 

[Joker]

Dh took dds several times into a men's room and it was no big deal. Heck, I've even taken them into a men's room when the line for women's was too long. I honestly don't think they are any dirtier based on what I've seen.

[pehp]

My husband checks the bathroom, waits until the coast is clear and takes our daughter with him.  She's 5, so there's really no other alternative.  And he's with her the entire time, so she's safe.  And I can't imagine that she'd actually see anything other than men's backs if they did come in while he was in there with her!!!

[PeacefulChaos]

Ok so this just reminded me of a funny story which has NOTHING to do with restrooms lol - but I think you'll see the correlation.  Maybe.  :lol:  Or I'm just crazy.  Either way.

 

 

So when Pink was about 3-4, she was getting ready for bed one night after a bath and she said something about her 'girl parts'.  It was totally random, whatever.  Nothing big.  Just that she had them, basically lol.  So then she says: 'My brothers have a p3n!s.  It's disGUSTing.' with this  :thumbdown:  look on her face.  'I'm SO glad I don't have a p3n!s.'   :sleep:

 

It was hysterical.  And yes, I know that the genitalia of two little boys is different, but it was still funny, and this made me think of it.

 

 

 

Oh, and then the second half of this funny story?  When I went in and told the boys good night, I told the about it and they were like UGH mom she just WALKS in sometimes!  And I'm like, eh, whatever, she'll stop lol.  And then Astro (who was like, 7-8) just looked at me weird the whole time after the story til I was like, 'Because, you know, Pink doesn't have a p3n!s.'  And then his face was like  :scared:  :scared:  :svengo: .  Like, how in the world?!  

It's crazy, too, because it's not like she was hidden from them her whole life lol.  I changed her diaper wherever we were, etc.  I guess he just never paid attention.  :lol: :lol: :smilielol5:

[Annie G]

I kept a potty seat in the car for several years. Yes, I did. It was very handy on many an ocassion. Hell, I even used it once when I was a hundred months pregnant and waiting was not an option.

 

I'm impressed. When I was a hundred months pregnant I was so large and unwieldy that I doubt I could have perched myself in a manner that would allow my pee to go in a potty seat. Especially in a vehicle. I bow down to your talents, Quill. 

[Southern Ivy]

I asked dh what he would do and he looked at me like I was an idiot. HAHA He's apparently already taken her into the men's restroom. He is far more conservative than I, so I was actually kind of surprised. But, I think it's just the only logical thing to do, especially if there's not family restroom. 

[Pronghorn]

I always had to go along when my daughter was little. That was the only way my husband would take her places. I hated this. Felt like my main function was potty manager.

[KungFuPanda]

I'd be more afraid of the nasty toilets than the peni.

[AimeeM]

I don't understand why men just don't have stalls too.

 

 

 

But I have no issue with Dad's taking their daughters into the men's room.

I guess I don't really care if men take their DD's in the men's room. I mean, I'm sure (given the amount of time they spent out together) that my father had to take my DD into them at some point.

But, really, I have one little guy who would definitely say (not so quietly), "That man has a penis. Girls don't have a penis and girls don't pee standing up!" because that's just where he's at with potty training right now :P

[ChocolateReignRemix]

I asked DH his thoughts on this.  His response? "Exactly what do some women think goes on in a men's room???"

[gardenmom5]

I think it's fine, but in a discussion with two friends, they both said that their husbands would not take a daughter into the men's restroom due to the chance of them seeing male genitalia, which they apparently feel they must protect their daughters from seeing at all costs.  The husband would just bring the child home if a family bathroom was not an option (didn't ask what they would do if home were too far away) Just curious how widespread those kind of feelings are.

 

those kids must have great control from the time they recognize the need to go before they can't hold it anymore.  when my kids were little, I was feeling good if I had five minutes notice.

[Desert Strawberry]

D has had to instruct our boys-when they get to urinal using height- to keep their eyes on their own paper, so to speak. I don't imagine it's any different with a girl. Less exposure, I'm sure, because I would think a girl would not be standing at the urinal with the guys. 

D doesn't take Luna out yet ( I don't think) but I would think either he or Sagg, or whoever will take her to the mens' if that's what's offered. 

[Guest]

I'm impressed. When I was a hundred months pregnant I was so large and unwieldy that I doubt I could have perched myself in a manner that would allow my pee to go in a potty seat. Especially in a vehicle. I bow down to your talents, Quill.

Well, I'm not sayin' it was easy. The center bench was out of our van for several months, so there was more room than average in the middle, on the floor. I think I was roughly in a kneeling position with the receptacle centrally located.

[poppy]

I asked DH his thoughts on this.  His response? "Exactly what do some women think goes on in a men's room???"

 

My husband always said that having a little girl in the mens room puts men on absolute best behavior.

Little boy in a women's room? We don't notice. 

Men peeing when a little girl is in the room? Are very aware there is a little girl in the room.

I mean, how your husband react? That's probably how most guys would too.

 

Obviously, family room or empty restroom is preferable.

But if you gotta go, you gotta go.

 

 

The *really* tough part is, what if the dad has to go? That is a "just hold it" situation unless a family restroom is available, I think.

[Ravin]

My husband always said that having a little girl in the mens room puts men on absolute best behavior.

Little boy in a women's room? We don't notice. 

Men peeing when a little girl is in the room? Are very aware there is a little girl in the room.

I mean, how your husband react? That's probably how most guys would too.

 

Obviously, family room or empty restroom is preferable.

But if you gotta go, you gotta go.

 

 

The *really* tough part is, what if the dad has to go? That is a "just hold it" situation unless a family restroom is available, I think.

 

Why? Dad can do one of 2 things: 1. have the girl stand by the sinks while he uses the urinal, or 2. Go into the handicap stall with the kid, the same as mom does when little girls or boys are accompanying her, and do his business. If the child is small enough, he can leave them in the stroller facing the wall if they make him nervous, and if they're not quite big enough to leave alone outside the restroom and he's nervous about it, have her stand facing the wall outside the stall and require her to talk/sing loudly until he's done so he can hear that she's not playing with the urinal or something.

 

Overall, I think it's fair game for dads to have to put up with the same inconveniences as moms.

[wendy not in HI]

I don't remember it ever being an issue when our girls were little.  If they were out with dad, he just took them to the men's bathroom.  No big deal.  This was before I remember seeing lots of family bathrooms.  

 

My brother in law, though, was all worked up about it when his daughter was a toddler.  He felt very strongly that the true and right thing to do was for a dad to take his daughter into the women's bathroom.  There are stalls, after all, so everyone would have privacy (even the dad, if he had to go.)  Apparently he was all freaked out about his daughter seeing the urinals in use, and in his mind, a man wandering in the women's bathroom was much less intrusive. I thought he was a little crazy.

 

I think the worst thing was when my son was about 6 and refused to use the women's bathroom.  I allowed him to use the men's bathroom alone, but it worried me in a way that wouldn't have worried me if my husband allowed our 6 year old daughters to use the women's bathroom alone.

[heartlikealion]

Why? Dad can do one of 2 things: 1. have the girl stand by the sinks while he uses the urinal, or 2. Go into the handicap stall with the kid, the same as mom does when little girls or boys are accompanying her, and do his business. If the child is small enough, he can leave them in the stroller facing the wall if they make him nervous, and if they're not quite big enough to leave alone outside the restroom and he's nervous about it, have her stand facing the wall outside the stall and require her to talk/sing loudly until he's done so he can hear that she's not playing with the urinal or something.

 

Overall, I think it's fair game for dads to have to put up with the same inconveniences as moms.

 

I don't know why but for some reason I mentally do not ever picture handicapped stalls in men's restrooms. I picture one or two tiny stalls and a row of urinals. I wouldn't want to leave a child on the outside of the stall and if there isn't a handicapped stall I wouldn't want them forced into the stall. There's no room. I know not every public bathroom I've been in has a handicapped stall. I'm thinking like maybe they were built a long time ago and it wasn't required?

[Ravin]

I don't know why but for some reason I mentally do not ever picture handicapped stalls in men's restrooms. I picture one or two tiny stalls and a row of urinals. I wouldn't want to leave a child on the outside of the stall and if there isn't a handicapped stall I wouldn't want them forced into the stall. There's no room. I know not every public bathroom I've been in has a handicapped stall. I'm thinking like maybe they were built a long time ago and it wasn't required?

I'm fairly sure ADA requires either a lock on the door to the whole restroom, or a handicap-sized stall.

[barnwife]

My husband always said that having a little girl in the mens room puts men on absolute best behavior.

Little boy in a women's room? We don't notice. 

Men peeing when a little girl is in the room? Are very aware there is a little girl in the room.

I mean, how your husband react? That's probably how most guys would too.

 

Obviously, family room or empty restroom is preferable.

But if you gotta go, you gotta go.

 

 

The *really* tough part is, what if the dad has to go? That is a "just hold it" situation unless a family restroom is available, I think.

I don't understand why dad needing to use the restroom is a problem. Presumably, he'd do what I do when out and about with the kids. Take them in the stall with him. (Yes, I can squeeze all 3 kids in a stall with me if I need to. But the older 2 are generally okay standing right outside where I can see their feet now.) Or, if he wants to use the urinal, they stand right behind him or at the sink.

 

Despite reading the majority of the replies so far, I still can't wrap my mind around why this is even a question. As a parent (whether dad or mom) you do certain things...including help your children in the restroom. If a kid has to go, a kid has to go. Look at your reasonable options and choose the best one. (Whether that's a family restroom or going into the women's/men's.) 

 

Going home seems like overkill. 

 

Disclaimer: We have come home to use the restroom once, and it was because of me. We visited a park...and they'd already locked the restrooms for the winter. The government building nearby was already closed for the day. And I really needed to go. So we came home, I used the restroom, and back to the park we went.

[zoobie]

I don't know why but for some reason I mentally do not ever picture handicapped stalls in men's restrooms. I picture one or two tiny stalls and a row of urinals. I wouldn't want to leave a child on the outside of the stall and if there isn't a handicapped stall I wouldn't want them forced into the stall. There's no room. I know not every public bathroom I've been in has a handicapped stall. I'm thinking like maybe they were built a long time ago and it wasn't required?

Sometimes there's only one stall, but it's theoretically accessible. That's been the biggest issue DH has had with public restrooms: someone's been camped out in the one stall for an extended period of time.

[heartlikealion]

Sometimes there's only one stall, but it's theoretically accessible. That's been the biggest issue DH has had with public restrooms: someone's been camped out in the one stall for an extended period of time.

 

ugh yeah I can imagine that as a problem!

 

My parents have to think of these things for going out (Dad has to escort her to the restroom) and I remember we had a thread about this regarding adults. They basically think out the bathroom situation in advance, noting where there are Wal-marts and Targets because I think both have family restrooms. I'm pretty sure their church bathroom would be a nightmare to go into with her wheelchair but luckily they live close by.

 

[Seeking Squirrels]

DH has always just taken them into the men's restroom if he's out with them. Heck, sometimes he takes them when I AM with them but he's just the one that does the bathroom run. 7yo goes into the women's on her own, but DH often took her when she was younger and now takes 3yo.

 

Just last weekend for the first time DD3 told him she wanted to go into the women's with sister and took off. 7yo was in there so DH came and got me so I could go in to keep an eye on her. I was close enough we could do the switch. I'm not sure what he'll do next time it's just the two of them if she wants to again. But if 7yo is there he'll probably just stand right outside.

[Mommy22alyns]

My husband always said that having a little girl in the mens room puts men on absolute best behavior.

Little boy in a women's room? We don't notice. 

Men peeing when a little girl is in the room? Are very aware there is a little girl in the room.

I mean, how your husband react? That's probably how most guys would too.

 

Obviously, family room or empty restroom is preferable.

But if you gotta go, you gotta go.

 

 

The *really* tough part is, what if the dad has to go? That is a "just hold it" situation unless a family restroom is available, I think.

 

 

?  I'm sure DH had to go more than once when he was out with the girls.  I assume he just brought the girls into the stall and had them turn around while he went.

[Donna]

He can just check to make sure there is no one actively urinating at a urinal then take her in to do her business if she is too young for him to stand outside the woman's room to wait for her. Of course, if there is a family restroom that would be a better option but those are not found everywhere.

[SKL]

I have had many times when I took both of my daughters into a small (not handicapped) stall and we all took turns using it.  After a certain age I required them to face the door when it was my turn.  If I was a man, I guess I would do the same.

 

Before they could walk, they were in a side-by-side stroller and I needed to be able to fit it wherever we were going to the bathroom.  This did require some planning.  Barnes & Noble's was my favorite stop in those days.  :P  There was one time I remember when I could not get the stroller through a restaurant to reach its bathroom.  I carried both girls in there and had to get creative so I could use the facilities.  Ah well, we all lived through it.  :P

[SparklyUnicorn]

My family went to France and I had on overalls (hey, it was the 90s). This place only had a hole in the floor restroom. I was like NOPE NOPE NOPERS. I held it til I found a western style toilet. I basically would have had to get naked to not have a disaster and I was not going to do that.

 

 

Oh lord no.  I couldn't handle that. 

[Beebug123]

I just asked my girls because I have no idea what he did. My ODD told me he would just check the men's room first and make sure no one was at the urinal and then he took her into a stall to go. My DH is actually weirder about nudity than I am (to me lol) but we come from very different upbringings and I'm not going to push his comfort level with it.

[SKL]

Anybody remember what our own dads did?  I don't remember ever going into the men's as a kid, but maybe I was too young to remember.  Or maybe my dad didn't take us out when we were too young to use the ladies' alone.

[Ravin]

I'm pretty sure my dad never took me or my sisters anywhere without mom also until I we were quite old enough to manage in the restroom on our own. The first time I remember being anywhere alone with my dad away from home is when I was 7 or so, I was riding in the logging truck with him and it broke down, so we had to hitch-hike to find a phone. I don't remember having to use the restroom on that excursion.

[Joker]

My dad took me places but I was always allowed to go to the bathroom by myself. I have no memory of either parent helping me in the bathroom. I know I went on a trip with my dad and little brother when I was about four or five and managed fine on my own.

[SKL]

My parents had a bunch of kids close in age, so it makes sense that my mom would have been along for most parent-tot adventures.  So my dad would take the boys and my mom would take the girls, I'm guessing.  Not that we went out much in those days.  :P

[kitten18]

I'm sure my dad took me into the men's room. I started going to college football games with him when I was 3, I'm pretty sure I would have had to go to the bathroom during that time.

[heartlikealion]

I was the youngest so my dad probably had one of my siblings with us to send in the restroom with me lol. But I don't know if he normally went anywhere with us without Mom when we were young. When I first asked dh this question I didn't specify an age and he told me he'd take her to the car lol. I don't think he's ever changed our kids' diapers in a public restroom. He's used the car for that many times.

[Kiara.I]

Anybody remember what our own dads did?  I don't remember ever going into the men's as a kid, but maybe I was too young to remember.  Or maybe my dad didn't take us out when we were too young to use the ladies' alone.

 

My dad was out of work when I was very young and was the full-time parent, pretty much.  And he took me *everywhere*, like on amazing field trips to other towns, so I'm sure we used plenty of men's rooms.  There were no family washrooms in those days.  And (keep in mind) absolutely NO change tables in men's restrooms.  I think when I was really young he must have either used the car, the counter or (yikes) the floor for changes.

[Mimm]

I'm baffled. Not that I think men should be waving their penises around all over the place, but it's my understanding that they don't do that, even in men's restrooms. Is catching a glimpse really that likely? And in if it happens, it's likely to be incredibly brief and accidental and... not a big deal right? Obviously I'm talking about unintentional, very brief exposure and not any inappropriate behavior on the part of the adult.

 

I've been using a public restroom when a 3 or 4 year old boy peeked under the door for a moment. His mother pulled him back and apologized to me and told him he wasn't supposed to do that. I hope he wasn't traumatized. :p

[HRAAB]

I remember at first that dh was not comfortable with taking the girls in the men's restroom because he felt they would be dirtier and grosser.  I told him I had seen some pretty gross women's restrooms.  With five daughters, he had to deal with often enough.  They all survived, unscathed, including dh.

 

However, I do like family restrooms.  I've never seen one locally but when on vacation I have.  Seems like a good idea, especially if dad is out with one in diapers.  I've never heard of a men's restroom with diaper changing stations.

[SKL]

I go back so far that they didn't have changing tables in the ladies' restrooms either.  :P

 

I remember books showing moms how to change a baby in your lap.

 

My own kids were 9mos and 12mos when I took custody.  I didn't use a change table.  I changed them holding them over the toilet and I taught them to use the potty.  When they were wee tots, I had fold-up plastic toilet seats for them to sit on when we were out.  Similar to this:  http://smile.amazon.com/Sesame-Street-Framed-Friends-Folding/dp/B00076SL0I/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1453412995&sr=8-3&keywords=fold+up+plastic+potty

 

The change tables I've seen have icked me out - I don't know how often anyone cleans them.

[Lanny]

I just asked my wife how we did this. I remember when DD was 3 or 4 years old, that if we were in the superstore or a movie theater, I would send her into the Womens restroom by herself and I would stay near the door. DD had instructions that if anyone bothered her, she was to scream "FIRE!" (in Spanish since we live in South America) at the top of her lungs.  Fortunately, that was never necessary.  I asked my wife what we did before that and she said DD was wearing diapers when she was very young and if she had to go, she went in her diapers. My wife NEVER would suggest that any girl be taken  into a Mens restroom. Possibly that is because when she was very young my wife was a member of an elite unit ("F2") of the Colombian National Police. Possibly that is because my wife and I are conservative people.  DD is 15 now and I would still suggest to her (and my wife) that if anyone bothers them, they scream "FIRE!"    "Just Yell Fire" (you can Google that phrase for more information).  Oh, the other side of this is what happens if dear old dad needs to go and a very young DD is with him.  I went into the Mens restroom, DD waited outside, with instructions to yell "FIRE!" if anyone bothered her. Fortunately, nothing ever happened that caused DD to scream bloody murder....

[scoutingmom]

I remember at first that dh was not comfortable with taking the girls in the men's restroom because he felt they would be dirtier and grosser. I told him I had seen some pretty gross women's restrooms. With five daughters, he had to deal with often enough. They all survived, unscathed, including dh.

 

However, I do like family restrooms. I've never seen one locally but when on vacation I have. Seems like a good idea, especially if dad is out with one in diapers. I've never heard of a men's restroom with diaper changing stations.

Our church has a change table in the men's room!! Ironically, there isn't one in the woman's washroom.... but there is a Mom's room with chairs for a mom to rock or feed a baby (with the sound from the meeting), and there is ond there (and a sink).... so that counts.

 

I'm not sure if dh ever took any dd's into a men's room... I assume probably. Now we can send an older sister, and our youngest is 5 now so could go with him outside the door.

 

Sent from my SM-T530NU using Tapatalk

[heartlikealion]

Ashton Kutcher put out a tweet about lack of changing tables in the men's restroom a while ago.

 

One of the churches I attend (newer building) has a changing table in the cry room. There is a sink next to it. The church I go to for co-op has no changing table in the women's restroom (maybe there is one somewhere else on the premises). I end up changing dd in the car or one of the spare rooms. The only reason I can change dd in the car is because we have a big cargo area in this vehicle. The seat? Forget it. Tried that when she was very little and even then it wasn't very easy with the odd angle.

[HRAAB]

There is a family restroom with a changing table next to the cry room in our church.  It's been so long since I've needed one, I completely forgot about it.