Eye Color in (White) Babies (ventish JAWM)

[Ginevra]

Firmly in the category of Things That Should Not Bug Me Yet Do, my mother seems bent on describing my niece as having blue eyes and blonde hair. The baby's father is Mexican, mom is White. My niece does not have blonde hair and blue eyes! Her eyes are probably not the solid brown you might think of, but they are undeniably "dark." Nobody would look at the child and see eyes they would call "blue," even if there might be some dark blue-grey tint in there somewhere at present. Also, her hair is NOT blonde, though it isn't coal black either. Additionally, most White babies do not have a fixed eye and hair color in the first year of life. Am I right? Of course I am. :D

 

My niece is gaining on two years old and I really thought by now, my mom would concede that it is at least unlikely that her eyes will be blue or her hair will be blonde. But - nope! She is still insisting that the girl's eyes are "a dark blue with a grey rim" or some such nonsense.

 

As an aside, she also describes my eye color in this complicated way; maybe she thinks it's more exotic or maybe she just likes to be hyper-accurrate, but she will say my eyes are "brown at the center, green on the outside, with a dark grey rim." Technically, that is a good description, but my driver's license says "brown eyes"! :D The impression every person who sees me has is that my eyes are brown. Really, I'm fine with that; nothing wrong with having regular ol' brown eyes.

 

I know this doesn't matter and I'll let it go soon, I promise, but it kinda drives me bonkers. I percieve it as a denial that my niece's dad is Mexican; that my mom wants their children to look White. My sister is pregnant again, so I think even if she stops commenting on my niece's "blue" eyes, she will pick up the same thread with the next baby. *sigh*

[Guest]

Yeah. I don't JAWY but I'm sorry it bugs you?

[Guest]

lol I have three blue eyed kids now, and for this reason I am learning that people can be VERY WEIRD about eye color!

 

So weird. Weird is the word.

 

I agree with you :laugh:

Edited November 29, 2015 by OKBud

[Guest]

DH's father had red hair. My mil insists all my kids have a bit of red in their hair. They don't. I get you!! Just nod and say, "Um, ok??"

[Outdoorsy Type]

I have had this almost exact conversation so many times, so yes I get it.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Maybe there is something wrong with her vision? 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

My husband and I argue over sock colors.  He thinks all the socks look blue.  They are not blue.  They are black and he is wrong.  LOL

 

 

[Guest]

Maybe there is something wrong with her vision?

Ha! Maybe I need to tell myself this..."There goes mom again, thinking brown is blue..."

 

It doesn't really hold, though. She wrote in my (other) sister's baby book that my sister's eyes were "turquoise," which she swears was the case at birth. That sister's eyes were as brown as an oak leaf. I think my mom hallucinates special eye colors.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Ha! Maybe I need to tell myself this..."There goes mom again, thinking brown is blue..."

 

It doesn't really hold, though. She wrote in my (other) sister's baby book that my sister's eyes were "turquoise," which she swears was the case at birth. That sister's eyes were as brown as an oak leaf. I think my mom hallucinates special eye colors.

 

LOL that's funny.

 

My older kid was born with very bright blue eyes.  But they changed color.  Now they are gray/green like his dad's eyes.  And come to think of it like my mother's eyes.  Everyone else has blue eyes.

[Slache]

MIL insists Mary's middle name is named after her mom. It really, really isn't. I didn't even know her name when we picked her middle name out. I contemplating changing it when I realized she was telling everyone that.

[KungFuPanda]

My MIL described my daughter's hair as red for years. It's not red. MY hair is a coppery red. I would KNOW if I had a child on the red spectrum. She 'might' have a bit of auburn highlight in the evening sun, but that's it. The girl was blonde until puberty then entered the light brown-California blond territory. In high school she started dying her hair. MIL STILL thinks she has red hair. It's weird. She also thinks DDs eyes are blue, but they've been green since toddlerhood.

 

I think she's spent more time describing the kids to her neighbors than she's actually spent with the kids and has created her own reality.

[DesertBlossom]

It's probably impossible for her to have blue eyes. If niece's dad is Mexican he's likely got 2 dominant brown genes for eye color so having a blue-eyed baby is unlikely. Weire that she is so obsessed over this

[MercyA]

Sorry, Quill. That would bug me, too.

[Anne in CA]

It would bother me also. I did bother me, in fact, when my oldest decided her eyes were not blue anymore but hazel. Her birth mother told her that her eyes were hazel so that she would look more like her birth mother, when, in fact, her eyes had always been distinctively blue. So having a person who was in denial of something as ridiculous as eye color around was really crazy making, lol. Does it make you feel any better to know that your mother is not the only person who does this?

[Annie G]

When I was 15 and Dad took me to get my learner's permit, I went in alone while he sat in the car (A really involved Dad, huh? ).  I wasn't a girly girl AT ALL and when the application asked for my eye color I had no idea and since Dad was in the car, I just asked the guy next to me, and he told me they were blue. So I wrote that down. My eyes aren't blue. But my license had them as blue until we moved to Illinois 20 years ago.  

 

So maybe...just maybe...it'll make you feel better to know that there are other people who have 'special' skills when it comes to determining eye color. 

[Guest]

It's probably impossible for her to have blue eyes. If niece's dad is Mexican he's likely got 2 dominant brown genes for eye color so having a blue-eyed baby is unlikely. Weire that she is so obsessed over this

Yes, I said that when my sister was pregnant. Even then my mom was envisioning a blue-eyed baby. So I guess she's trying to stay consistant with her predictions.

[Guest]

My MIL described my daughter's hair as red for years. It's not red. MY hair is a coppery red. I would KNOW if I had a child on the red spectrum. She 'might' have a bit of auburn highlight in the evening sun, but that's it. The girl was blonde until puberty then entered the light brown-California blond territory. In high school she started dying her hair. MIL STILL thinks she has red hair. It's weird. She also thinks DDs eyes are blue, but they've been green since toddlerhood.

 

I think she's spent more time describing the kids to her neighbors than she's actually spent with the kids and has created her own reality.

The bolded is what I think happens in my mom's case. She has these internal conversations about what she wants to be true and so she "sees" it that way. My sister lives in another state, but I wish she had been sitting right there so I could point to they eyes of each and say, "this eye color is not the same as this eye color."

[Rockhopper]

It would definitely seem that what your mom is hoping/going for is grandkids who don't look "Mexican."

 

But, not to derail or be snarky, I guess I got kind of hung up on Mexican/white. I mean, I know what you're meaning -- but I think of Mexican as a nationality, not a race. Some Mexicans are white, some aren't. 

[happi duck]

To me, given the history of eye color description it doesn't seem motivated by denying the dad. That's at least a little better, right? ;)

[Tap]

It's probably impossible for her to have blue eyes. If niece's dad is Mexican he's likely got 2 dominant brown genes for eye color so having a blue-eyed baby is unlikely. Weire that she is so obsessed over this

Definitely not impossible. Eye color and genetics have more to it than just the presenting eye color in a parent.

 

My mom's eyes are dark brown, my dads are bright blue. Mine are a grey/blue color.

 

To add to the matter not all Mexican people are dark skinned, with brown eyes and hair....there are many blue eyed/blond Mexican people, so the father may not only have brown eye/hair genes.

Edited November 29, 2015 by Tap

[Tap]

It's probably impossible for her to have blue eyes. If niece's dad is Mexican he's likely got 2 dominant brown genes for eye color so having a blue-eyed baby is unlikely. Weire that she is so obsessed over this

[Guest]

It would definitely seem that what your mom is hoping/going for is grandkids who don't look "Mexican."

 

But, not to derail or be snarky, I guess I got kind of hung up on Mexican/white. I mean, I know what you're meaning -- but I think of Mexican as a nationality, not a race. Some Mexicans are white, some aren't.

Yes, I hesitated on that, but I don't think he calls himself Hispanic. Or Latino. So I dithered a bit, but he is from Mexico and has dark hair and dark eyes. I was trying to say it with the proper terminology.

[Tsuga]

That would bug me just because it's not true!

 

People are strange.

 

My mom also hoped to see some hazel in the grandkids' eyes. Unfortunately for her... the dominant brown came through and their eyes are all medium-brown to blackish-brown. However, she has accepted this as the reality, because she's not delusional. :D

 

 

Good luck finding a nice little pass the bean dip for that one.

[Tap]

.

Edited November 29, 2015 by Tap

[Onceuponatime]

Ha, ha, my dh is Tex-mex and everyone tells me what beautiful dark eyes my children have. Then in the next breath, "they didn't get them from you, did they?" It's given me a complex.

[Daria]

LOL that's funny.

 

My older kid was born with very bright blue eyes.  But they changed color.  Now they are gray/green like his dad's eyes.  And come to think of it like my mother's eyes.  Everyone else has blue eyes.

 

I thought all white kids were born with blue eyes, well except the ones with turquoise eyes.  Is that a myth?  

 

My African American son son was born with dark blue eyes, pale skin, and straight (albeit not blonde hair).  Now he's got deep brown eyes, skin the color of milk chocolate, and kinky dark brown to the point it looks black hair.

[Guest]

.

I was going to say this a bit ago - that it is not impossible. I have not met the dad's parents and for all I know, maybe one is lily white. :D I have a blue-eyed child as a result of, I guess, recessive genes in both myself and DH.

 

But I think the important part is that the child is here now and is a toddler. There's no further point in speculating on her eyes being blue. They are dark and her hair is brown. I think I just want her to stop acting like it matters because it doesn't.

[Tap]

I was going to say this a bit ago - that it is not impossible. I have not met the dad's parents and for all I know, maybe one is lily white. :D I have a blue-eyed child as a result of, I guess, recessive genes in both myself and DH.

 

But I think the important part is that the child is here now and is a toddler. There's no further point in speculating on her eyes being blue. They are dark and her hair is brown. I think I just want her to stop acting like it matters because it doesn't.

Lol I get it.

 

It makes me,wonder what she actually sees when she looks at the child.

[Guest]

I thought all white kids were born with blue eyes, well except the ones with turquoise eyes. Is that a myth?

 

My African American son son was born with dark blue eyes, pale skin, and straight (albeit not blonde hair). Now he's got deep brown eyes, skin the color of milk chocolate, and kinky dark brown to the point it looks black hair.

I wouldn't say *all* white kids, but the far majority of white babies have blue-grey or blue eyes. I did not really trust the idea that my son had blue eyes until he was probably four or five years old. My eyes are not blue and neither are DH's, so I thought they would almost surely change to hazel or something else.

[unsinkable]

When I was 15 and Dad took me to get my learner's permit, I went in alone while he sat in the car (A really involved Dad, huh? ). I wasn't a girly girl AT ALL and when the application asked for my eye color I had no idea and since Dad was in the car, I just asked the guy next to me, and he told me they were blue. So I wrote that down. My eyes aren't blue. But my license had them as blue until we moved to Illinois 20 years ago.

 

So maybe...just maybe...it'll make you feel better to know that there are other people who have 'special' skills when it comes to determining eye color.

Am I understanding this: You didn't know your own eye color?

 

FWIW, I walked to the motor vehicle place to take my learner's permit test.

[Rockhopper]

Yes, I hesitated on that, but I don't think he calls himself Hispanic. Or Latino. So I dithered a bit, but he is from Mexico and has dark hair and dark eyes. I was trying to say it with the proper terminology.

 

:-)  Yes, even as I was typing, I was trying to think what I would've said -- because Hispanic and Latino both scare me! I've never known exactly how those are defined and I'd totally fear getting it wrong.

[Guest]

Am I understanding this: You didn't know your own eye color?

 

FWIW, I walked to the motor vehicle place to take my learner's permit test.

If she had gone to motor vehicle with my mother, her permit might have said, "greyish-green with flecks of cerulean and a grey border." :D

[YaelAldrich]

It's probably impossible for her to have blue eyes. If niece's dad is Mexican he's likely got 2 dominant brown genes for eye color so having a blue-eyed baby is unlikely. Weire that she is so obsessed over this

 

I'm Black and Korean (there is some Cherokee in there four generations back).  My husband is German-American and Jewish.  His mom has blueish eyes and everyone else has brown eyes.  Our three boys had blue-blue eyes and blond hair.  The oldest had them until he was well after two, the next one until he was almost two years, and the last guy was blond and blue eyed until about one.  Our daughter (number three) was dark brown haired and brown eyed at birth and stayed that way.  

 

People looked at me and looked at my baby and looked at  my husband and looked at the baby and looked again.  Awk-ward......   :confused1:

 

ETA:  The oldest eye's are now...weird.  Yellow-grey with brown outsides and light brown hair.  The next one is dark blue-grey-green-hazel depending on the light/his clothing/mood/phase of the moon and darker brown hair.  The youngest boy is hazel eyed and darker than the others but still brown hair.  The girl has almost black hair (except the blonde highlights in summer) and chocolate brown eyes.

Edited November 29, 2015 by YaelAldrich

[tm919]

I'm slightly embarrassed to actually admit this was a relative who said this, but upon seeing the baby of a mom of mostly Irish descent (another relative) and a  dad who was everything NOT Irish, she said: "Well it's nice to see the baby's skin is so light." First of all... most people darken with age. Second, who even thinks something like that? It really thew me for a loop and still bothers me!

Edited November 29, 2015 by tm919

[Xahm]

It makes me think of my husband's hair. He was a very blond child and though it has darkened significantly, he still considers himself blond. If you ask our three year old, she has blond hair and his hair is black. She brings this up whenever discussing hair color or the color black. I think she has figured out how to get his goat.

Also my mil and many others talk a lot about my kids' "red" hair. Even when they were still bald babies. I responded, yes his scalp is a pinkish-red.

[unsinkable]

If she had gone to motor vehicle with my mother, her permit might have said, "greyish-green with flecks of cerulean and a grey border." :D

Oh you've got green eyes

Oh you've got blue eyes

Oh you've got grey eyes

 

And I've never met anyone quite like you before...

[Jean in Newcastle]

My Eurasian daughter has dark brown eyes with a dark blue ring around the edge. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I thought all white kids were born with blue eyes, well except the ones with turquoise eyes.  Is that a myth?  

 

My African American son son was born with dark blue eyes, pale skin, and straight (albeit not blonde hair).  Now he's got deep brown eyes, skin the color of milk chocolate, and kinky dark brown to the point it looks black hair.

 

I have no idea. 

[MEmama]

My MIL still insists DS looks EXACTLY like my husband's brother at that age (which, now that I think about is doubly weird) even though there has never been the slightest bit of resemblance. None of the cousins resemble each other in the slightest, although to hear her tell it they are the spitting image of each other. It's the strangest thing to me, as though if she just repeats it enough times my genes will just disappear.

 

I don't think there's any accounting for the general vision of MsIL.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'm slightly embarrassed to actually admit this was a relative who said this, but upon seeing the baby of a mom of mostly Irish descent (another relative) and a  dad who was everything NOT Irish, she said: "Well it's nice to see the baby's skin is so light." First of all... most people darken with age. Second, who even thinks something like that? It really thew me for a loop and still bothers me!

 

Oh geesh what a thing to say!

 

Eh I think sometimes people say stuff and they don't think before they say it.  They are trying to say something nice, and it just comes out sounding crazy.

[sbgrace]

To me, given the history of eye color description it doesn't seem motivated by denying the dad. That's at least a little better, right? ;)

 

I agree. It sounds like she's done the same with you and your sister!

Weird and annoying, but at least it isn't discriminatory.

 

I wonder what she has against brown eyes? It took me two years to realize my son's eyes were going to stay blue. Hubby is brown eyed with two brown eyed parents.  I never expected a blue eyed child! I love brown eyes. 

Edited November 29, 2015 by sbgrace

[Jean in Newcastle]

Oh geesh what a thing to say!

 

Eh I think sometimes people say stuff and they don't think before they say it.  They are trying to say something nice, and it just comes out sounding crazy.

 

or racist

[Spryte]

We had the same experience with DD.  A certain birth relative insisted that she had blue eyes.  Insisted.  They are the deepest, darkest brown I've ever seen.  I think there was denial about DD's birthfather going on.  It went on for years, and made me uncomfortable, but it finally stopped around 2 1/2 years old, I think.  Don't miss that.  At all.  

[unsinkable]

I always wondered how can we know what others see?

 

People say my boys are so much alike...and I know them so well, I don't agree. But I don't argue with people who say that. Because maybe they only see their coloring or they see a resemblance in certain features. I don't know what they're seeing.

[goldberry]

So does anyone know how that happens?  I always heard brown eyes were dominant, but my brown eyed sister (mom german blue eyed, dad Cherokee brown eyed) had a blue eyed, blond haired daughter.  Obviously sister had a blue gene from mom, but why is the brown gene not dominant?

[Guest]

I think I'm happy to hear a lot of mothers or MILs are hallucinating coloring that doesn't exist.

[texasmama]

It's probably impossible for her to have blue eyes. If niece's dad is Mexican he's likely got 2 dominant brown genes for eye color so having a blue-eyed baby is unlikely. Weire that she is so obsessed over this

It's not.  My Hispanic bff had a blue eyed child with a blue eyed man.

 

One of my kids has blue eyes - from two brown eyed parents, but we both have blue eyes in our families.

 

And yes, Quill, I would guess that your mom does not want the child to look Hispanic.

[maize]

It's probably impossible for her to have blue eyes. If niece's dad is Mexican he's likely got 2 dominant brown genes for eye color so having a blue-eyed baby is unlikely. Weire that she is so obsessed over this

Others have said this, but eye color is very complex and is the result of interactions between several gene sets. It is not a nice, tidy Mendelian brown dominant/blue recessive kind of trait.

 

I understand why you might think that though, I was taught the same thing at some point.

 

My own family was quite interesting. Both parents had hazel eyes. They had children with the following eye colors: dark brown, light brown, green, hazel, and several different shades of blue.

Fascinating, really.

 

I love brown eyes, but so far dh and I have only been able to produce green, grey, and blue.

[SparklyUnicorn]

or racist

 

Maybe.  Maybe that wasn't the intention.  It could have gone a different direction.  Something like...look how darn pale that baby is.  LOL

 

My mother used to tell me that she'd dress me up in a pink frilly dress as a baby and people would say what a cute boy.  Haha!  Some people are so funny.

[texasmama]

And oddly, I looked at my baby #3's eyes in the hospital, and I knew they were going to be blue.  They just looked different.  All the other kids have brown eyes.