marbel Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 My family moved from our beloved Oregon to Pennsylvania 8 years ago. It was going to be a temporary move (husband going back to school for a career change) but things did not work out the way we'd expected/planned. We don't like PA but we are stuck here for now (husband's job), and probably are stuck on the east coast while his parents are still alive as we will need to be closer to them as they age. We've never gone back home for a vacation. We have no family there, just one "set" (family) of close friends. But now we're thinking of taking a trip next year, after our son's senior year of high school, to northern CA and southern OR. And if we're that close, probably can't resist going up to Portland and the northern coast to see our old stomping grounds. And our friends. But, I'm kind of afraid to go. Honestly? I'm crying typing this. Sometimes I want to go home so badly it hurts. I know the rest of us feel the same way. BTW neither my husband nor I were born in Oregon and we only lived there 9 years. But our kids were born there and as a friend put it, we have so many happy memories associated with living there that it seems like the best place on earth to us. And, things have not worked out so well for us after moving - nothing horrendous, but... we don't have many (any?) happy memories associated with living here. So after all that background, the question is: If you have moved away from a place, and wish you had not moved, and want to move back but can't... can you happily go back to visit? I'm sure the answer is different if there is family to visit in the old place. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 If you have moved away from a place, and wish you had not moved, and want to move back but can't... can you happily go back to visit? I'm sure the answer is different if there is family to visit in the old place. I honestly don't know as all of our moves have been voluntary. We've loved where we've lived, we just have wanderlust I suppose. Going back is great reminiscing, but we never wish we hadn't moved. My thought reading your post though... are you sure your dh couldn't find a job out there? On all of our moves my hubby looked in the desired (reasonably wide) area and was able to find a job first. The company even paid for our move. Now that he owns his own company, moving is far more difficult, but only because he doesn't want to work for someone else again. We both know he could find equal employment (and income) in other areas if he were willing to work for someone else. I know not all jobs are so portable (or needed in pretty much any/every area), but... it was just a thought that came up since you mention the whole family misses that area. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 If you have moved away from a place, and wish you had not moved, and want to move back but can't... can you happily go back to visit? I'm sure the answer is different if there is family to visit in the old place. I went back to the area where I lived for 13 years—longer than any other location I've lived in as an adult—this summer for a wedding after being away for five years. I experienced a lot of emotions and felt wistful while visiting places we used to call home, but I don't wish we still lived there. The area has grown and changed exponentially, and not in a good way. I miss the way it used to be (as does my sister, who still lives there), but what it has become wasn't hard to say good-bye to again. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggie96 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 :grouphug: We moved 2 years ago to current location. I had lived there for 13 years. He had lived there for 20+ years. All of our children were born there. We were married there. You get the picture. DH insisted on moving to follow his aging parents, who moved back to his childhood city to be near his older sister. The new location has pros/cons. I manage to roll with it and make the best. There are things I desperately miss and things I was happy to leave behind. DH, on the other hand, has hated the move and would return "home" tomorrow if I said go. All of our parents and siblings live in the same metroplex as us now. We have been "home" several times for various reasons from visiting former neighbors and friends to business. When we go there, I like to see the changes, eat at my favorite places and see my best friend. The kids like to see the kids they grew up with and take a tour of our old haunts. DH spends the entire time lamenting moving, talking about how wonderful everything is, and becoming fairly depressed. For the first several returns, he would encourage the kids to see it through his eyes and get them sad about it, too. It was upsetting the kids enough that I had to step in and out a stop to that. Now the kids have a healthier outlook on visiting, missing, and moving forward, etc. DH stills gets very depressed every time we go (and it's only a 4hr drive away from us which we can both do in our sleep). All that to say, each person is different. IMO if you are still that homesick, it could go either way. It may be that a visit helps break the connection and transition into fond memories, or stirs up all the longings worse. I wish my DH would/could look forward so we can move forward. He has been in emotional limbo for 2 years, and since we are not in the same emotional place, it has taken its toll. I like going "home" to visit. I like seeing the trees grow up, friends' kids grow up, city grow up, etc. I miss my favorite restaurants and better traffic. But I stroll down memory lane, then head my car home, and go on with life. It takes DH about 3 weeks to get back to his new normal levels of homesick. I'm sorry things are hard. 8 years is a long time. You are not alone. :grouphug: 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readwithem Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 probably are stuck on the east coast while his parents are still alive as we will need to be closer to them as they age. I just wanted to address this part. None of my 3 siblings or I have lived in our hometown for nearly 30 years. My mom lived in an independent living facility, but when it became clear her care was more than she could handle, we moved her to a retirement facility in my current city. My dh and I have made the decision we won't move from here till she passes (his job is such that, while we have moved all over the world with the same company, he is likely to stay put in our current city till he retires). There's nothing that says you have to stay where your parents are. They can come to you, wherever that happens to be. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 We felt this way and talked about returning for 10 years after we moved. I finally decided that it was not helping and we needed to either move back or move on. I would recommend having that discussion yourselves and then making peace with whatever decision makes the most sense for your family. Visiting might help your decision. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted August 17, 2015 Author Share Posted August 17, 2015 Thanks for the replies. I have to go out for a few hours and will have a chance to mull them over so I can respond properly later on. I appreciate the thoughts. Everyone has given me something new to think about, or think about in a new way. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I can no longer visit my most-beloved-place because it's just too painful. We never should have moved. But at this stage of the game, we have older kids whose residency status for tuition purposes was/is/will be dependent upon our remaining in place. So I feel very stuck here. I confess that it is not a good feeling and I struggle with our current circumstances. (Of course I know we could move anyway, but I would not have peace about it.) If your kids were little, I'd suggest you go back for that visit, see how the place makes you feel, and if the tug were strong enough, do what you can to return. However, your kids are old enough that you need to consider how their college choices might be affected. Does your 17 year old have his heart set on a PA state school? Or can you afford to pay out of state tuition for any school your kids might choose? How would they feel if they started college in PA but you and dh went back to Oregon? In addition to college, what about the social and educational support systems currently in place? You know your own children best, but I know I have at least one older teen who would be so distraught by the thought of a move that it would cripple her. My point is, your children are old enough to be an integral part of the discussion. And if they are actually in favor of such a move, I'd say get busy with it! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: They don't call it the sandwich generation for nothin'. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Oregon will do that to you. I don't have any advice, just wanted to send a hug. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 For me, no. EVERY SINGLE TIME I visit the West Coast, I cry when I have to leave. My heart is there. I love the West. Two years ago I went to Seattle for a visit. I lived there for 4 years in college and I have a lot of relatives in the WA/OR area. I cried and cried when I left. Before that I visited AZ and CA. AZ isn't my favorite place, but it is a lot closer to where I want to be (CA) and I cried when I left there too. It is hard. It is everything in me not to head back to my old job and hand over my resume and say I want back in. Dawn So after all that background, the question is: If you have moved away from a place, and wish you had not moved, and want to move back but can't... can you happily go back to visit? I'm sure the answer is different if there is family to visit in the old place. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 All of this. I feel trapped. I can no longer visit my most-beloved-place because it's just too painful. We never should have moved. But at this stage of the game, we have older kids whose residency status for tuition purposes was/is/will be dependent upon our remaining in place. So I feel very stuck here. I confess that it is not a good feeling and I struggle with our current circumstances. (Of course I know we could move anyway, but I would not have peace about it.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liber Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I go back every year to NS and it is always sad to leave. I would like to live there but no work for dh there so the long term plan is to buy a cottage at the beach where I spent all my sumers growing up and spend May-Sept/Oct when he retires and the rest of the year we hope to be living near our grown children. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kentuckymom Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 No advice, but I feel your pain. Every.single.time. I visit my parents in west Michigan I wish we lived there. I have tons of extended family living within a hour of them, my older brother and his wife live two hours away, and my best friend from college moved there two years ago. I wouldn't even have to live in my hometown, just close enough that we could make a day trip to see Grandma and Grandpa. I hate having to drive nearly 500 miles and only going a few times a year. DH and I have tossed around the idea of moving to the area for years now, but the thing is, when we're not there we love living where we do. He has a job that he loves not only for the technical parts of the job but for the work environment. We have a church home that we love. We have friends that it would be hard to leave, and our ten year old in particular would have a really hard time leaving the best friends he's known his whole life. Plus, we'd have to relearn how to deal with a long, snowy winter. It may never happen, and 90% of the time when I'm home in Kentucky I don't mind it, but I do cry a little bit every time I leave Michigan. Upon reflection, I guess my advice is, you'll probably be sad, but at the same time the visit might be good for you. It could possibly help you close that chapter in your life. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I've lived away from "home" for 10 years now. We used to live somewhere where though far, we could still get back once a year, and visiting was great. We now live much further away. I just recently got to visit "home" after not having been in 4 years. I cried the whole way on our trip back to where we live now. I'm not sure, I could visit again, as I really, really want to go back for good. I'd rather stay here and not be reminded of the glaring differences and my longing to be back. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I would go, and I would put every thought of wistfulness out of my mind the whole time I was there, if possible, and really enjoy myself. It's the same theory as bonding to your baby even if you know you have to leave her to go back to work. Love and good friends are always worth more than the pain of having to leave them. The more such things you have in your life, the more likely it is that you will enjoy the life you have and craft a life full of love and good people down the road. What if you knew you would move there someday? What if you started laying the groundwork for that by positioning yourself to buy land or a rental or something? What if you can't do those things, but you just decided to look forward to one fantastic vacation there every year or two? Wouldn't your life be a lot happier? Go for it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I used to wish I could move back from where I came from. But the changes in the area have been huge. It is no longer like I remember. I don't miss it anymore. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Maybe your son would like to go to college out there, and you could make it a college trip? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted August 17, 2015 Author Share Posted August 17, 2015 I could pull a good quote from every single response here! This has been so helpful to get me thinking in different ways. One of the great things about this place. But I will just quote this one because this is something I have also been thinking about (but didn't mention in the OP because it already felt kind of long). <snip> However, your kids are old enough that you need to consider how their college choices might be affected. Does your 17 year old have his heart set on a PA state school? Or can you afford to pay out of state tuition for any school your kids might choose? How would they feel if they started college in PA but you and dh went back to Oregon? In addition to college, what about the social and educational support systems currently in place? You know your own children best, but I know I have at least one older teen who would be so distraught by the thought of a move that it would cripple her. My point is, your children are old enough to be an integral part of the discussion. And if they are actually in favor of such a move, I'd say get busy with it! <snip> This is very heavy on our minds. Our oldest does not have his heart set on any school, anywhere - he is headed for community college after graduation. In-state tuition is important to us. Our daughter (younger) is already taking classes at that community college and likes it. So, yeah, this is an important consideration. There are other reasons we can't just up and move back. Our house needs a lot of work in order to sell, unless we take a huge loss AND do a short sale. It would be very hard for my husband to find work. We are also involved in our church (he is employed as part-time associate pastor). My kids say they want to move back, but they were 8 and 10 when we moved here. 3 of our 4 close-friend families have moved away. We wouldn't get our old house and property back. :-) It may well not be all that attractive to them once they were back there. Well, except the much better weather. :-) One of the things I realized after reading responses is that we didn't say goodbye to the area properly. We were going to be back. We didn't sell our house for a long time, but had renters in it. So, there wasn't that sense of closure. I think we should go. Yeah, I do. It might be hard. We, or maybe just some of us, might regret it. But, we'll never know if we don't. I think I can't avoid Oregon forever. :-) (Plus, northern California which has some great places and great memories too, but not as strong.) Thanks all. Thanks for the hugs too. I'm sorry for all of you who also are living in places you don't like. I didn't think there would be so many of us. ETA: felt kind of odd "liking" posts that were sad, but thanks for posting. We are in the Philadelphia suburbs. Philadelphia may be a great old city, but it's got nothing on Portland. :-) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Maybe your son would like to go to college out there, and you could make it a college trip? I wish my kids would want to go back. They now feel that NC is home. They are brainwashed by my husband. I am joking.......kind of. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 To answer you question...absolutely. I love walking down memory lane and it's so fun to show the kids the old neighborhood, sledding hill, ice skating pond, old bike paths that are still there after 40years, where oma lived, my elementary school,church, visit our favorite eateries etc. It brings tears and a longing to live there once again but it also brings me so much joy to go "home" even for a short visit. Plan your trip and enjoy reliving the memories 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Yes, I can happily go visit. We are first generation immigrants to this country, and I found it very hard to leave my home country. We have been going back every year, to see family and friends, and to give our children a connection to their native language and culture. At the beginning, it was very difficult for me to come back here, and it took me several years to get over the homesickness. But I can't imagine this deterring me from visiting. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I think that such a visit could be very carthartic. it might be hard but that doesn't mean it's not worthwhile. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Big hugs I used to have every excuse known to man of why I could not move where I wanted. Now I realize there are none. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 We are in the Philadelphia suburbs. Philadelphia may be a great old city, but it's got nothing on Portland. :-) Eh, I live in PA and love it here, but there are only a very few select areas in PA where I'd be able to say that. Philly and suburbs don't make my list. I totally understand! If you do decide to visit, I hope it goes well and you get a bit of enjoyment from reminiscing - along with a clear path of what you and your family want to do. Since your hubby is a pastor, I'll add a Christian element we've found from our lives... sometimes when we get really antsy and things don't seem right where we are, God is already planning our next move. We just have to follow. I doubt that happens all the time for everyone (or every Christian), but it's been true in our past. If you visit, be open to what you see. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted August 17, 2015 Author Share Posted August 17, 2015 Eh, I live in PA and love it here, but there are only a very few select areas in PA where I'd be able to say that. Philly and suburbs don't make my list. I totally understand! If you do decide to visit, I hope it goes well and you get a bit of enjoyment from reminiscing - along with a clear path of what you and your family want to do. Since your hubby is a pastor, I'll add a Christian element we've found from our lives... sometimes when we get really antsy and things don't seem right where we are, God is already planning our next move. We just have to follow. I doubt that happens all the time for everyone (or every Christian), but it's been true in our past. If you visit, be open to what you see. It was actually a feeling of restlessness and being led by God that brought us here! My husband's going back to school was to seminary... :-) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 If you have moved away from a place, and wish you had not moved, and want to move back but can't... can you happily go back to visit? I'm sure the answer is different if there is family to visit in the old place. ((((Marbel)))) Yes, I take my kids back to visit our beloved town every year and. . . it's been way easier than I thought. My kids have had a blast when we visit, but while I got to see one great friend, many friends were out of town the week I was there. Without going into detail I had a really bad time. So, now, when I think about the beloved town I associate it with having a really awful experience. And i couldn't wait to return home. I couldn't believe it. I'm still stunned. So that's my advice: arrange to have an awful time. But more seriously, a friend went back to her beloved town and was startled to realize that she'd been "romanticizing" it. She realized it had to do w/ another time in her life and those days were done. A new chapter had begun. I hope that helps: you're not alone. I cried a lot too. Alley 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naturegirl Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 As sad as it's been to read all of these replies and see how much it pains so many people to live away from the place that they feel is home, it's made me feel a little more normal as well. I too left Portland behind, temporarily I thought, to go to college. I've never lived there again. I met my husband in college and we moved back to his home state so he could go to graduate school. Because my family is all either in Oregon or Washington I go back once or twice a year every year. It's been hard every single time. I often cried when I left and was depressed for days after returning. Honestly, if I didn't have family there I would have stopped going. Portland is so wonderful in so many ways (including all of my immediate family living there) that being there, being surrounded by what I couldn't have was awful. I think that always in the back of my mind hoped we may end up there again. But with my husband's job, it's extremely unlikely that anything in is field will open up there. I finally gave up on that dream and it's helped bring some closure. It still makes me sad when I visit, but at least it doesn't bring me to tears any more. Not only am I sad that I can't live in the city I want, but relationship with my family isn't as close any more, because of the distance. I've had to accept all of this as just part of being a grownup. I am finally living in a place I like, starting to build a strong community I hope, and we just in the past few months bought the house we plan to live in at least until my husband retires. So being settled in one place for long term that I genuinely do like helps. Also, I live in the southwest now, as opposed to the East Coast, so Portland isn't as far away if I'm feeling the need to visit. One thing that has helped me when I visit home is to act more like a tourist. Instead of driving around to all of my old stomping grounds and driving through neighborhoods and pick out houses I'd like to live in, I plan trips to the beach or drives up the gorge. We get out of the city and see new things. I'll use Yelp to find new restaurants to try, rather than just going to all the old places that I love but make me home sick. All this to say, I can competently understand your pain. Portland, and all of Oregon really, is a great place to live. But it can also be a great place to visit if you can get your mind in the right place. That's easier said that done, I know. For me, while the relationships with my family weakened (and this made me really sad, but it was also just a fact of life), I made new close friends in our new home, and I at least has some really great and understanding people to go back to when I had to leave Portland. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica_in_Switzerland Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 My situation isn't quite the same as yours, as my family still all Iive "back home". It took me YEARS of 2x a year visits before I finally accepted my current location is "home". I wouldn't say it's easy to leave CA and return to Switzerland, but my life is here and I'm at peace with that now. It will get hard again as my parents age, but luckily they are relatively young and currently in pretty good health, so I hope to have another 10-20 years of peace before I need to freak out again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 I just want to send a hug.. you're not alone in this. We made a move about3.5 yrs ago that was a mistake. I still struggle with it and my heart aches too. If it were me I'd look into going back, but i would also include the kids in the decision, if they are older. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 I just want to send a hug.. you're not alone in this. We made a move about3.5 yrs ago that was a mistake. I still struggle with it and my heart aches too. If it were me I'd look into going back, but i would also include the kids in the decision, if they are older. PM: This breaks my heart. I moved as a kid and now twice as an adult -- across states -- and after about eight months or so I acclimate. It never occurred to me that you'd just not adjust. I'm so, so sorry. I agree w/ you too. . . looking into going back. Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest2 Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 (edited) i can totally relate. I would visit. It's better than continuing to look up your old home on google satellite maps to see if your car is still in the driveway, right? Or Am I the only one who does that? I was homesick for a long time. I prayed a lot. California was beautiful, but I wanted to go home. ( We lived in Texas for 5 years,but has felt l home for me since I attended graduate school here over 20 years ago).. We are back in Texas, but not in the same town. The time and place that I remember is a snapshot of time that isn't how life would be if we moved back to our original town. People move, change happens when you are not there. It may not be exactly how you remember it. But it could still be a fun vacation! Edited February 26, 2016 by Silver Brook Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 I am right there wit you. We moved from CA to NC 10 years ago. I would still move back IN A HEARTBEAT if the family would agree. I have made life here. I have friends, and the funny thing is, most of my friends in NC moved here from CA too! We seem to FIND each other! But I miss it. I even dreamed this week that we moved back. I want to go back. DH and the kids love NC and don't ever want to leave. And now is not the time, I have two teens and an 11 year old and I wouldn't do that to them. But I still dream......and sometimes cry.....and sometimes just plain regret agreeing to move here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkmint Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 I can definitely relate. We live in TX now and I can't comprehend the TX pride. I guess it comes with having grown up here, or maybe from people who can afford to live in a nice area. We came here because of an opportunity, and also because of the lower cost of living, but at this point I realize the lower cost of living is misleading and that the areas that bring it down are places no one would actually want to be, and the nice parts are not affordable at all. I just try to tell myself this is where God has us right now for reasons that do not seem understandable to me much of the time. Personally I left southern California as a young adult amid recovering from drug addiction and my (divorced) parents doing their own thing including one of them moving to Europe to meet some love interest from the internet. It seems there was forces beyond my control pushing me out, and moving back is not an easy thing when one's job transferability is basically non-existant and options are very risky with young children to care for, and very modest income to work with. I look back with probably rose colored glasses to an extent though. And I probably wouldn't appreciate California had I never left. But I do often wish I could have stayed somewhere where I somewhat fit in. I do not fit in here. But it helps meeting people who have moved from CA which seems to be pretty common everywhere since CA cost of living is generally very high pushing people out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 I have not read the replies yet, but - yes. A resounding yes. We must now stay on the east coast, due to aging parents who need us. But our souls put down roots in the SW, and that is where our hearts are. I used to cry often, and lived with an ache that wouldn't go away. We go back every year or two, to restore our souls. It helps. Please - go on your vacation. Feed that part of you that needs this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 You actually might want to go just to realize that things change and it may not be worth pining for anymore. This is what I was going to say. I think sometimes when we move away we remember the way things were, and it's easy to forget that things change drastically, especially after more than a year or two. My dd was tal;king this morning about her best friend who moved away about a year ago. In just one year, our little group of friends has totally and completely changed. Those "little boys" of a year ago are taller than me, with deep voices, more like men, and can be good friends to my 18 yo dd. The older girls in my dd's peer group have gone off to college or moved away. It's a totally different dynamic than it used to be and I think that would be jarring. I mean you know mentally that things change, but seeing them personally can be really really disconcerting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 (edited) Seeing that this is an ooooooollllllddd thread...... marbel, how are you feeling about this these days? Did you ever make that trip? Edited February 26, 2016 by Seasider 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Whoooaaaa. Zombie thread. I'd like to know if you made the trip, too. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 We moved to Alaska from Oregon 5 years ago and not only do we have nearly all of our family there, but we still own our house there! We haven't been back in 3 years but are going this summer. I totally get it. I know I am going to want to stay. The thing is that there aren't any jobs for my husband there, and that is our "reality check." He is in the government job system and Alaska has tons of opportunities for him. But when we walk through the house it will be soooooo tempting to just move back in. I have to remind myself that it would never be the same. Friends have moved on, traffic has gotten worse, and I have gotten used to the casual lifestyle here. So I will reassure myself that we can visit more often. We are going to sell the house and march forward. However, she will keep getting job alerts for Oregon jobs just in case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Sometimes going back helps you realized that the place has moved on and you have moved on and it is no longer home and that's OK. Sometimes going back is a chance to remember and mourn for what is lost and that is cathartic--there is nothing wrong with crying. And maybe you will go back and confirm to yourselves that this place really is where you want to be and you will find a way to make that happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Terrible I know, but I avoid going back to my home state because I am not too thrilled I left. I haven't ever even admitted that to my husband. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 How ironic that this thread came back to life the day we are visiting our Alma mater (Virginia Tech). This campus has changed in areas (esp the area we were mostly in - cadet area) and stayed the same in areas. Same with Blacksburg itself. We have had a blast dusting off brain neurons and got a bonus when one of the current cadets offered to show us the new dorm built in place of ours (heavily financed by one of our fellow cadets who has done well post graduation and now gets the new building named after him!) and updated us on tons of Corps of Cadets info. We filled him in on some history which he loved. That part cost us a $30 parking ticket for overstaying the meter by 35 minutes, :glare: but it was well worth the $30 "fee." Two extra bonuses are that two of our favorite eating establishments (both local) are still here. We ate at one for lunch (it's not quite as good as the old days, but good enough). The other, of course, will be supper in a little bit. We drove past our old apartments when we lived here post college and were thrilled that we could find them (sort of on one - we got the area, but don't recall exactly which building). The other we got exact!!! We'll move on tomorrow... but yes, it is worth revisiting and reminiscing - seeing change and being glad you were there in the "good ole days!" :coolgleamA: If it hadn't been for the parking ticket, I'd even be tempted to send in another donation, but the $30 fee and the new sweatshirts we bought at the bookstore shall suffice instead. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.