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Need hobby ideas for depressed 19 yr boy


Cakes
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I shared a couple weeks ago that my son, 19, had a seizure. He has now been diagnosed with Complex Partial Epilepsy. He took it a bit hard, although we both pretty much knew that would be the diagnosis. He has been having what we thought were panic attacks, turns out they are seizures. 

 

He is on meds that cause depression. At first it was fine but now the dosage has been increased and for the past two days he has been depressed and moody. It came to the surface last night and of course neurology is closed over the weekend so we are just trying to keep him occupied util Monday when we can get the Neuro to change the meds.

 

This boy is not very social (although he does have a few friends that come over and a girlfriend). He is the type to spend the entire day in his room (with or without friends) watching tv, movies, surfing the web, playing Xbox, wii, etc. He will go out and run every now and then but nothing consistent. He can no longer drive. 

 

He perks up when he has something to do to keep him busy, like helping with a project around the house etc. I need some ideas for a hobby he can do on his own. The idea of talking my husband into getting a dog for DS is tempting but I doubt that is going to fly....nor is that necessarily the best solution. The second semester of college is about to start and I am not sure if we can switch him to online classes or if we will be driving him. There is a lot that is uncertain and I think some sort of hobby for him to focus on would be hugely beneficial for him. He has no ideas.

 

This forum has been such a wonderful source of ideas and help for me in the brief time I have been here, I am hoping that some of you may have some ideas for me to ponder and share with him.

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If he's depressed, I would think that continuing with live classes would be better than switching to online. Check out bus schedules and car pool lists on campus.

 

Check what interest based clubs are on campus and help him choose a couple to try out. It is difficult to help suggest a hobby for someone. If there are others interested in the hobby they can help him start.

 

Help him remember that once his seizures are controlled he will be able to drive again.

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Physical activity would be a good thing. A dog is one way to accomplish that as they need to be walked a lot, but you might also consider a FitBit. Dh got one for Christmas and is enjoying putting in an effort to get to 10,000 steps each day. I know your ds is an adult now and already has a plugged-in lifestyle, but it just feels healthier to me to not be spending all day alone with electronics. Getting out on campus would be good, even if I had to do the driving. Having contact with other people would be good. Being busy is good. Sorry I have no ideas for hobbies, but I think you're thinking along the right lines.

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Thanks for the input so far....

 

I know it is impossible to suggest a hobby, truly. I just reached out becausevI am hoping someone with an introvert family member may have some ideas. 

 

My husband and I both agree that driving him to class is probably our best bet, just to get him out and about. We are also trying to encourage him to get out and get physical with us. We both run and so do his two adult sisters. Everyone is pitching in trying to come up with ways to get him active and or more engaged with us all. 

 

Clubs on campus are good, except that because his is quite an introvert he tends to shy away from that sort of thing.

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Does he enjoy music?  Would he be interested in learning to play an instrument, such as the guitar?  One of my daughters has chronic pain and she has thrown herself into music and it is a great distraction for her.  She learned to play the guitar and then got into song writing, and it has become a huge and happy part of her life.

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J-rap, he does have a guitar. I will see if his sister, who plays, can get him interested in picking it up, that is a great suggestion.

 

I was also thinking about having him plan our spring garden, research the veggies and flowers he wants...he loves to research things and he has a small interest in plants. Maybe something could develop there. We are in So Cal so really he could plant a winter garden too.

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Is there a gaming group on campus that has weekly Magic or D&D? Has he tried anything like that before? They are generally very happy to help people learn to play.

 

ETA: my eldest is an introvert, but it is good for her to socialize some of the time, even if she does have to go to bed when she gets home.

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Guitar, woodworking, there's that fun book on how to build trebuchets and stuff, knitting, sewing, paint his room, exercise outside at least once a day, cooking, baking, .... Everyone should be able to cook up a great meal and have a favorite dessert they can make. Do something physical for an elderly person. You might need to direct him. It's hard to decide and follow through when one is depressed.  :grouphug:

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I would love to get a service dong, but we have not yet explored that. I suspect they are not easy to come by but he is the type who loves to learn things (of course things of his choosing) and I was thinking that getting a rescue pup and putting him in charge of training would be a healthy thing...plus the added exercise is a bonus!

 

The Dr will swap out the meds. She warned us that this may be a side effect.

 

It will be heathy for him to develop some new interests since he can't drive for the next 3-4 months.

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I ditto the games. Board games, Magik, D&D, Warhammer. Warhammer has the added component of painting your dolls (sorry, WARRIOR ACTION FIGURES :laugh:  ) and the social aspect of playing. Round here, the comic book stores are usually the gateway into those scenes.

Working outside is good for depression so the gardening is good.

And so is exercise. (so many studies on how good it is for depression!)
There are usually running club/training groups starting out now - new year's resolutions + people training to do a 5K,10K, their first 1/2 etc.  If he signed up for one of those, there would be a commitment to go  & he'd have a social aspect in addition to the exercise.

 

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What about clubs based on things that Attract folks that tend to be introverts. IME that would include programming/computers/robotics, role playing games, and book clubs.

 

My introverted non athletic niece is having a fabulous time her freshman college year due to joining the Quidfitch team.

 

Also, when my dd started having seizures we did a number of things including meds and going gluten-free for a year. She's currently seizure free without meds. We also know a girl who did not respond to any meds but did become seizure free on the ketogenic diet- the medically supervised one which involved being inpatient at Johns Hopkins for a bit.

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If he kinda likes more solitary games, what about sudoku, logic puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, crafty hobbies, etc.?  I like those sorts of things.  When I was younger I used to paint (or more like pretend to paint), but I had fun doing it.  Could start with something like paint by numbers.

 

Or even tinkering.  Maker type stuff.  One of mine loves that.  And electronics.  He has made all sorts of interesting things.  They sell kits for all levels. 

 

 

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I think I can get him to cook, a little. He gets very frustrated when things don't go right...which is hard to avoid when cooking! I am getting him in the kitchen today to make homemade pizza dough so that he can make his friends dinner tonight.

 

I really like the running/training club. His sisters, father and I are all training for a race, he could come with us, but a club would help him to meet others. 

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What about clubs based on things that Attract folks that tend to be introverts. IME that would include programming/computers/robotics, role playing games, and book clubs.

 

My introverted non athletic niece is having a fabulous time her freshman college year due to joining the Quidfitch team.

 

Also, when my dd started having seizures we did a number of things including meds and going gluten-free for a year. She's currently seizure free without meds. We also know a girl who did not respond to any meds but did become seizure free on the ketogenic diet- the medically supervised one which involved being inpatient at Johns Hopkins for a bit.

 

We have talked about diet. He is the pickiest kid I have ever met. My entire life. That would probably be his last resort to get the seizures under control. He is the type who will literally not eat if he is faced with something he does not like...we think there is a touch of Aspergers here.

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If he kinda likes more solitary games, what about sudoku, logic puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, crafty hobbies, etc.?  I like those sorts of things.  When I was younger I used to paint (or more like pretend to paint), but I had fun doing it.  Could start with something like paint by numbers.

 

Or even tinkering.  Maker type stuff.  One of mine loves that.  And electronics.  He has made all sorts of interesting things.  They sell kits for all levels. 

 

Those are good ideas. He really prefers something with a purpose, if that makes sense....tending the garden to help me, going with his sister to help her pick out curtain rods, making a meal for his friends. He is not one to pick up a craft, I think what I need are ideas of things he can do, in which he feels that he is helping someone but that has a benefit for him mentally. If that makes sense.

 

I do love all of the feedback...the more we all chat and you share your ideas, the more my mind opens up!

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If he is at a college, chances are great that there is a gaming club there :)  If he's into games (as those noted above), it might be an easier step for him to make.  Good luck with the medication. with epilepsy, often it's a bit of trial and error to see what works and is tolerated. My son was allergic to the first they tried but is now on another. It is noted for making people moody/ragey but some kind souls on the epilepsy.org forum suggested a B-complex vitamin to counteract it and it works surprisingly well. I know this has thrown your son for a loop and it will take some time to adjust to it. One day at a time  :grouphug:

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If he is at a college, chances are great that there is a gaming club there :)  If he's into games (as those noted above), it might be an easier step for him to make.  Good luck with the medication. with epilepsy, often it's a bit of trial and error to see what works and is tolerated. My son was allergic to the first they tried but is now on another. It is noted for making people moody/ragey but some kind souls on the epilepsy.org forum suggested a B-complex vitamin to counteract it and it works surprisingly well. I know this has thrown your son for a loop and it will take some time to adjust to it. One day at a time  :grouphug:

 

Would that med be Keppra/ Levetiracetam?

 

I will look for the website you mentioned.

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A gaming group is a great idea!  It is social but the focus on the game makes it great for introverts or depressed people who don't like small talk.

 

 If he is into any kind of sci-fi or anime, perhaps attending a local comic con. I know several people who have developed hobbies of prop building and costuming around a favorite TV or movie series and attend conventions.  They have incredible skill and meet a lot of people because of their designs.  

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Volunteer work. We volunteer twice a month at a local food pantry and it's great. You could look into habitat for humanity since he's older.

 

I think knowing people are depending on you, and doing something that is worthwhile is very encouraging. Knowing you're needed and contributing also help with motivation and consistency. There are also usually other kind people volunteering do it's a nice group to join.

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If it were my child, I would ask him gently if he would like someone to talk to. Maybe not even a therapist, if he was unwilling to go, but even a pastor or an older friend or trusted mentor.

 

I know some of the seizure meds cause depression, but honestly, he has just been hit hard with a life changing illness. Yes, it can and probably will be controlled, but he is 19, and this is a huge deal at 19. He has had to give up driving for a while and will always be afraid of having a seizure, even if med controlled, it will be in the back of his mind.

 

His doctor may be able to recommend someone his age or a little older who is farther down the journey to give him some hope or at least a safe and understanding place to vent.

 

I do not have seizures, but I became diabetic about that age. At 33 I know it was not the end of the world, but at 20 and very symptomatic it felt like it. (I had a seizure from hypoglycemia once around that age. I was so horrified I made everyone who witnessed it swear on their lives we would never discuss it again. Things are just a big deal when you're in that 18-24 year old range)

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My daughter has a service dog. How about being a puppy raiser for a service dog organization? This would definitely give him a purpose, depending on his college he may be able to take the dog with him to his classes, and it is a mid level commitment (~15 months), which he can then decide if he wants to raise another puppy for the organization or his own.

 

Our organization always needs puppy raisers and they are well bred puppies so you know what you are getting.

 

Pm me if you would like more information.

 

Edited to add: and puppies are most definitely a great depression buster.

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Cakes, he is taking Keppra. The first few rounds were the actual Keppra, then they tried the generic and it did not work for him. Apparently, generic drugs can vary somewhat in the amount of the actual substance in the pill, which meant his medication in his system was varying and we were seeing a lot of brief absence seizures. The neurologist now specifies name brand only so the dosage is even.

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This will sound nutty, but has he ever seen Dr. Who? The new version that started in '05 is excellent for it's "never give up," "never leave anyone behind," "you're at your best when everything is falling apart" messages.

 

My kids watched it w/ dh and they all thought I'd hate it. I love it. It's helped me to be a better person. Sounds dorky, but it's true.

 

When you're really depressed it's hard to start something new like guitar, but anyone can watch Dr. Who.

 

Alley

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This will sound nutty, but has he ever seen Dr. Who? The new version that started in '05 is excellent for it's "never give up," "never leave anyone behind," "you're at your best when everything is falling apart" messages.

 

My kids watched it w/ dh and they all thought I'd hate it. I love it. It's helped me to be a better person. Sounds dorky, but it's true.

 

When you're really depressed it's hard to start something new like guitar, but anyone can watch Dr. Who.

 

Alley

 

One of the best lines... In 900 years of space and time, I've never met anyone who wasn't important.

 

It's not nutty, ds and I binged watched the newer Doctor Who shortly after my separation. I cried at almost every episode, but it really did help me want to keep going. I've started to go back and watch random episodes, find myself crying again, a good cathartic cry. 

 

I would agree about a gaming club - even if there is not one on campus, there is probably a card/comic shop that hosts tournaments. 

 

I think the garden sounds good. 

 

Even a hobby done as a family might be good. 

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Activities that my daughter was involved in during college include:

 

Scottish dance

Taiko drumming

Juggling

 

She's now out of college and living in Korea where she has taking drumming lessons on the janggu and the buk (two traditional Korean drums).

 

Regards,

Kareni

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Also, when my dd started having seizures we did a number of things including meds and going gluten-free for a year. She's currently seizure free without meds. We also know a girl who did not respond to any meds but did become seizure free on the ketogenic diet- the medically supervised one which involved being inpatient at Johns Hopkins for a bit.

 

Both of my kids are gluten intolerant.  (They had gastro. symptoms, not seizures.)   I would never again underestimate the damaging effects that gluten can have on some people.    (Neurologist David Perlmutter's book Grain Brain is a good book on the subject.)

 

That would be my suggestion for a hobby...learning about how to shop/cook  gluten free and see if this has a positive effect on mood if nothing else.   There are more gluten free foods available now and lots of cookbooks. 

 

Also, I would find other hobbies that aren't about electronics.  Even the video games come with warnings for people who have seizures.  It's scary. 

 

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If he is at a college, chances are great that there is a gaming club there :)  If he's into games (as those noted above), it might be an easier step for him to make.  Good luck with the medication. with epilepsy, often it's a bit of trial and error to see what works and is tolerated. My son was allergic to the first they tried but is now on another. It is noted for making people moody/ragey but some kind souls on the epilepsy.org forum suggested a B-complex vitamin to counteract it and it works surprisingly well. I know this has thrown your son for a loop and it will take some time to adjust to it. One day at a time  :grouphug:

 

THANK YOU for this.  My son is on anti-seizure meds, and it was knocking him out for a few months last spring when it was new.  I added a St. John's Wort capsule with his morning dose, and it helped a lot--but I might try a b-complex vitamin instead.  I've just been a little leery of adding the herb (although it seems to be working great).  And no, I didn't ask his doctor; stupid, I know, but I was afraid she would think I was crazy giving that to my son.  A B-vitamin, I would totally ask about.

 

B

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I have a 20yo son who suffers from a bit of depression naturally (it runs in dh's family).  A lot of the suggestions up thread are what he does.  Games are great way for him to connect with others.  He plays/paints minifig games like Warhammerr and another one that I can't remember that is wayyy less expensive.  He plays Magic and Pathfinder.  He is forever planning, buying and selling items. It is very good distraction for him and is one that also gets him connected with others. 

 

An alternative, is that ds really enjoyed taking classes at the college like martial arts, and Jazz class.  He was going to take swing dancing, but it conflicted with his schedule. The great thing about the Jazz class and PE classes is that they also had assignments that required him to go out and enjoy some music or attend out-side events. He did end up finding a weekly swing dance group though, and meets up with them on occasion. 

 

I agree with making classes on campus work for him.  Even if he has to wait around a bit, ride the bus, or occasionally take a cab (if that is realistic for your area). The lack of interaction by taking online classes would likely worsen his depression. 

 

Ds volunteers a lot at church and that also keeps him pretty busy.  He has a job working 5-10 hours a week at a tutoring company, so that gives him a bit of spending money without too much pressure on top of school.

 

 

If your son likes gardening, another idea would be to research planting a micro greens garden.  You get quicker results :0) 

 

Another idea would be to plan and create a path or unique space outdoors.  A brick path to go under the garbage cans? A rock garden with succulents?   Yard and garden shows are just getting ready to start in our area, and that is a great place to get ideas.

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How about volunteering with an animal shelter/rescue?  they often need people to help socialize the animals, etc. and that would get him out and doing something useful but not having to interact as much directly with people as he would be working with the animals.

 

Lamictal is a seizure med that my dd takes for her complex partial seizures which has an anti-depressant component to it.  Might be worth asking about.

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Organic Square Foot or container gardening 

Candy making

Baking

Collecting Toys for Tots, dd does this, and enjoys hauling the load to the Toy drive; she volunteers there in Dec if her schedule allows

Volunteering anywhere or even on-line

Some type of his own business

Collecting something

Geneology

 

I hope he finds some relief soon :grouphug: .  I know many people when they are depressed cannot take on new things.

 

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I've been thinking about you a lot lately.  My ds has been having these weird panic attacks/muscle twitches.  I saw it happening to him last week.  He was able to talk through it, but his muscles were contracting suddenly and oddly.  This happens to him when he gets sick - even just a cold.  And, he has Aspergers.  Who would you recommend we see first?  His pediatrician?  Or a neurologist?

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Along with this suggestion...

Working with wood can be quite therapeutic.  Something about working with your hands, turning something something rough into something smooth.  If seizures preclude saws and other potentially dangerous tools, perhaps he could learn to refinish furniture.  I love sanding and refinishing unpainted furniture.

 

Can he make tree blocks? You just cut branches into 1-5 inch segments, then sand the tops (well, there's a bit more to it than that, but that's basically the idea). You can sell them on Etsy or give them to worthy preschool teachers...like me! I'd love to have someone make me 50 of them, and I'd pay, too! PM me if he's interested.

 

How about a movie club? Ds is a huge introvert, and Aspie, too--and even he loved going to the movies and then discussions afterwards. Just going is fun, too. There is a lot to film analysis--if he was classically educated, he might enjoy discussing or at least viewing films and then "dissecting" them like literature.
 

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I've been thinking about you a lot lately.  My ds has been having these weird panic attacks/muscle twitches.  I saw it happening to him last week.  He was able to talk through it, but his muscles were contracting suddenly and oddly.  This happens to him when he gets sick - even just a cold.  And, he has Aspergers.  Who would you recommend we see first?  His pediatrician?  Or a neurologist?

You likely want a neurologist but might have to go through your ped first.  Complex-partial seizures don't cause the person to lose consciousness like the grand mal.  Illness can certainly be a trigger for seizures.

 

I can't remember where in Michigan you are but if you are in driving distance of Grand Rapids we LOVE Dr. Kipp Chillag at Metro Health.  He was previously at DeVos Children's but moved last summer......and we moved with him.  he has been great with my very hard to figure out kids.

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I've been thinking about you a lot lately.  My ds has been having these weird panic attacks/muscle twitches.  I saw it happening to him last week.  He was able to talk through it, but his muscles were contracting suddenly and oddly.  This happens to him when he gets sick - even just a cold.  And, he has Aspergers.  Who would you recommend we see first?  His pediatrician?  Or a neurologist?

 

The pediatrician was our first stop and he referred us to the neurologist. We had seen a few twitches in my son's case - he'd stop what he was doing, seem to be lost in thought but his mouth would twitch for a few seconds. No one could ever catch him at it though. It wasn't until he'd had a complete seizure out of the blue that things got rolling. However, when he's missed sleep or is really tired or run down, they are more noticeable. 

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My daughter has a service dog. How about being a puppy raiser for a service dog organization? This would definitely give him a purpose, depending on his college he may be able to take the dog with him to his classes, and it is a mid level commitment (~15 months), which he can then decide if he wants to raise another puppy for the organization or his own.

 

Our organization always needs puppy raisers and they are well bred puppies so you know what you are getting.

 

Pm me if you would like more information.

 

Edited to add: and puppies are most definitely a great depression buster.

 

I love this idea! Only you can know for sure if it's right for your son, OP, but it sure sounds fun. I echo those recommending some venue of service work where his focus can be redirected from self to others.

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FYI:  Since I have talked to the OP about puppy raising..   The Today Show is going to be puppy raising for Guiding Eyes.   They should have their first segment on Wednesday.   This would really be such a great thing for many homeschooling families due to their schedule so I encourage you to check it out if it interests you at all.  

 

Here is the link for the Today Show and their participation:  http://www.today.com/pets/today-getting-puppy-helping-change-persons-life-1D80412712

 

We obtained my daughter's service dog from Canine Companions for Independence, another great service dog organization.  National with 5-6 regional locations.  

 

We are now very close to my daughter's dog's puppy raisers (how many kittens did I kill?).  They have become my daughter's biggest cheerleaders.   

 

http://www.cci.org/site/c.cdKGIRNqEmG/b.4011029/k.6CF1/Puppy_Raising_Program.htm

 

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FYI:  Since I have talked to the OP about puppy raising..   The Today Show is going to be puppy raising for Guiding Eyes.   They should have their first segment on Wednesday.   ..

 

zimom,

 

You might consider posting this on the Chat board and/or General Education board for others to see.

 

Regards,

Kareni

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