Need prayer- for the sale of our house (bad neighbours)

[Jasperstone]

I'm at the end of my rope... sitting here crying, shaking....as I can't take it much longer.....please pray. And please be gentle, as I'm really upset about this.

 

We have lived in this neighbourhood for over 20 years, but in the last 5 years things have turned ugly. Part of the reason, I 'think' is the neighbours aren't happy that kids are home all day- they are retired and think we should have them at school etc....

 

Also, other small things throughout the last couple of years have made them hostile towards us. Like the time my kids were up a tree in their backyard, when the neighbours on one side called out (actually swore) for them to get down the BEEPING tree! Seriously? My kids can't play in their tree?

 

The other side's problem was that my dd then 10 had an auto book on, and because the lady there change rooms (her husband was snoring) she was annoyed that she could hear it through the two open windows. Seriously, we are talking about SOTW! And not AC/DC! She wanted my dd to put ear plugs in...... Sigh! They are best friends with the back neighbours, so have managed to spread the news 'about us' to others as well. The neighbour across the road also loves the hassles we are having- as she is a school teacher who once told me children NEED to be at school for *proper* socialization etc...

 

Anyway, my kids crossed through their front yard, and the husband there came out saying he'll call the police if they step onto their property again.

 

We often see them outside discussing us. It's horrible living like this! I feel like Israel with enemies around Her. I know it's not THAT bad, but..... :sad: It's a type of imprisonment.

 

I love my home, but need to go somewhere with a bit more space for the kids to run around..... Please pray for a quick sale.

 

We have an Open house on Saturday. 

 

 

 

[mamakelly]

That's terrible! I'm so sorry.

[craftymama]

I'm sorry. I can't imagine feeling that way in my own home.

[Melissa in Australia]

:grouphug:

[kiwik]

Were the kids up the tree in the neighbour's yard? I can see that would annoy. The rest seems a bit trivial.

 

I hope someone buys your house soon and you find more tolerant neighbours.

[Jasperstone]

Were the kids up the tree in the neighbour's yard? I can see that would annoy. The rest seems a bit trivial.

 

I hope someone buys your house soon and you find more tolerant neighbours.

No, the tree is totally in our yard. They weren't happy because my dc could see into their yard when up there. I was thinking that a double storey house would have a view as well. And it was only for like 20 mins of the day. If it was me and had kids looking in, I would wave and get on with whatever.

 

Yes, its all ridiculous. So over it.

[Jasperstone]

I'm sorry. I can't imagine feeling that way in my own home.

It's really awful all that negativity around us. Yeah, your home should be a safe haven.

[kiwik]

No, the tree is totally in our yard. They weren't happy because my dc could see into their yard when up there. I was thinking that a double storey house would have a view as well. And it was only for like 20 mins of the day. If it was me and had kids looking in, I would wave and get on with whatever.

 

Yes, its all ridiculous. So over it.

OK in that case unless the kids have binoculars and are looking through their windows or are thtowing things across the fence they are being unreasonable. Do they have something to hide do you think?

[Jasperstone]

OK in that case unless the kids have binoculars and are looking through their windows or are thtowing things across the fence they are being unreasonable. Do they have something to hide do you think?

No, nothing like that. Though when a ball or frisbee does fly over the fence, they will display it on there window sill instead of throwing it back over.

 

I don't think so. They never had children themselves, so aren't tolerate to normal child behaviour etc...

[lllll]

:grouphug:

[Jasperstone]

Thank you so much for your prayer. I really appreciate it.

 

Oh, those homes sound delightful!

[creekland]

I hope you are able to move soon.  We always loved raising our boys on our farm and a huge part of what we enjoyed was not having neighbors close by so the boys could be boys.  My youngest practically lived in our trees.  He studied in them and did projects in them, etc.

 

May your home sale go well.  Do you know where you want to move?

[trulycrabby]

:grouphug: Good luck with your open house! :groupphug:

[Jasperstone]

I hope you are able to move soon. We always loved raising our boys on our farm and a huge part of what we enjoyed was not having neighbors close by so the boys could be boys. My youngest practically lived in our trees. He studied in them and did projects in them, etc.

 

May your home sale go well. Do you know where you want to move?

Yes, a sleepy little beach town across the state. But not too far from our caring and over protective 26 year old dd. :-)

[Twigs]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[unsinkable]

Praying that it all works out.

[Kalypso]

We lived in a home with miserable neighbors for about 5 years. I understand your stress. I pray that your home sells quickly. :grouphug:

[Happy]

Doesn't sound as if your yard is big enough to do all that playing without annoying the neighbors and violating their privacy.  It is loud if an elderly person can hear your voices inside the next house...they aren't known for being able to hear well, even with the hearing aids in.  I have one neighbor that won't respect the noise laws...I can hear everything if I turn my A/C off and have a window open ( I can hear their TV perfectly well too if its on...son really needs to get his mother a better hearing aid).... and they aren't adjacent..came in very handy when they wanted to add a few more apts to the rooms they are renting out illegally, but told the authorities they were just wanting to convert the garage to an apt for the elderly owner. They now have restrictions on who can live in the house, which has cut the noise down considerably as the tenants have moved on and not been replaced.  Consider that if you don't turn the volume down, your neighbors can hear every word of your personal business.

 

 

About not throwing the ball/frisbee back...you are seeing their custom vs your custom.  They were most likely raised to not play so hard that windows are knocked out and gardens damaged by balls/frisbees routinely going over the fence...and if they do, one politely knocks on the front door and asks if it would be ok to retreive the ball/frisbee. Just like cutting thru the yard without permission, its quite possible that your child will get hurt by something they saw and were curious about, or didn't see, while not supervised. Like others said, the solution is to keep your noise/possessions/children on your property.  For some families that means moving to a bigger property. I hope you find what you like.  At least you know your market....retirees people who aren't partiers..... and your requirement...3 to 5 acres or a smaller property in a very noisy location.  You might want to give the neighbors a heads up on the open house, so they can plan their day.  A few cookies might help smooth things over too.

 

Maybe it's the NEIGHBORS who need to move to a retirement community or an over 55 age community. The OP children sound like normal children. Kids climb trees. Kids toss balls that go over the fence--not thrown to damage, but just getting out of bounds. The neighbors could just toss the ball or Frisbee back over the fence. Or leave them on the front porch so the kids can get them.

 

Being a Good neighbor goes both ways. These neighbors do not sound like nice people at all.

[Miss Mousie]

Maybe it's the NEIGHBORS who need to move to a retirement community or an over 55 age community. The OP children sound like normal children. Kids climb trees. Kids toss balls that go over the fence--not thrown to damage, but just getting out of bounds. The neighbors could just toss the ball or Frisbee back over the fence. Or leave them on the front porch so the kids can get them.

 

Being a Good neighbor goes both ways. These neighbors do not sound like nice people at all.

 

 

I disagree.

We live in a neighborhood in which the houses are very close together.  I was/am a bit fanatical about keeping DS reined in.  For example, if he was bouncing a ball off the wall of the house and it went bouncing across the driveway to the neighbors' yard, I'd remind him that if he won't control the ball he won't play with it.  After the second reminder, if it happened again, the ball was off-limits for the rest of the day.

 

Another example:  if we were outdoors before 10 a.m., I'd remind him to keep his voice low.  Some people like to sleep late.  I'd say the same about being out past 8 p.m., but that isn't typical for us, so not usually a concern.  Our previous neighbors' kids, however, would be inside all day and then at dusk come out screaming (seriously, the screechy-squealy kind that pierces concrete) and carousing until 10 - looooong past DS's bedtime - and my own.  I'd ask them to quiet down, it would last about a minute, I'd ask again, then the parents would be upset with me instead of telling the kids to tone it down or go inside.  And I was always finding wayward balls in my garden; I'd just toss them back over the fence - I never mentioned it to them.

 

I do not see the problem with teaching courtesy.  If you can't afford large property (or it just isn't practical for other reasons), then you have to learn how to get along and not bother people.

 

OP, I do hope your open house goes well, and that you find the perfect spot for your family very soon!

[Lisbeth]

These people sound like bullies.  Don't you have any big, mean-looking relatives (preferably men) who you can invite over, for frequent BBQs or to hang out in the yard?  Not to be obnoxious, not to be actively threatening, but to show that you are not alone in the world, that you have "people" too?  Bullies are usually big cowards in reality.

 

A "biker gang" costume party at your house, one in which you follow all laws, all rules, but the visual is there?  Regular outdoor meetings in which you do.nothing.wrong. but have friends in numbers over?

 

I am mostly kidding, because probably your idea to get out is much better than provoking people.  I want to do the same thing.  We are actively looking at farm land.  We don't have overt hostility around us, but I believe a lot of land between neighbors makes much better neighbors.

[Lisbeth]

I disagree.

We live in a neighborhood in which the houses are very close together.  I was/am a bit fanatical about keeping DS reined in.  For example, if he was bouncing a ball off the wall of the house and it went bouncing across the driveway to the neighbors' yard, I'd remind him that if he won't control the ball he won't play with it.  After the second reminder, if it happened again, the ball was off-limits for the rest of the day.

 

Another example:  if we were outdoors before 10 a.m., I'd remind him to keep his voice low.  Some people like to sleep late.  I'd say the same about being out past 8 p.m., but that isn't typical for us, so not usually a concern.  Our previous neighbors' kids, however, would be inside all day and then at dusk come out screaming (seriously, the screechy-squealy kind that pierces concrete) and carousing until 10 - looooong past DS's bedtime - and my own.  I'd ask them to quiet down, it would last about a minute, I'd ask again, then the parents would be upset with me instead of telling the kids to tone it down or go inside.  And I was always finding wayward balls in my garden; I'd just toss them back over the fence - I never mentioned it to them.

 

I do not see the problem with teaching courtesy.  If you can't afford large property (or it just isn't practical for other reasons), then you have to learn how to get along and not bother people.

 

OP, I do hope your open house goes well, and that you find the perfect spot for your family very soon!

 

I agree with you that courtesy is a wonderful thing.  A lot of kids don't have it.  However, if an audio book bothers a neighbor, especially if it is being listened to during the legal hours to make noise, then the neighbor is a "princess in the pea" grouchy type that is looking for trouble, in my opinion. 

 

Someone's desire to have a perfectly quiet environment in a neighborhood of people (and especially children) is no less obnoxious to me than someone's desire to be loud and rude at all hours.  The neighbors are not being courteous to OP.  They are being mean bullies.

 

 

[Elisabet1]

It sounds awful!!! I hope it sells quickly!!!

[applethyme]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I disagree.

We live in a neighborhood in which the houses are very close together.  I was/am a bit fanatical about keeping DS reined in.  For example, if he was bouncing a ball off the wall of the house and it went bouncing across the driveway to the neighbors' yard, I'd remind him that if he won't control the ball he won't play with it.  After the second reminder, if it happened again, the ball was off-limits for the rest of the day.

 

Another example:  if we were outdoors before 10 a.m., I'd remind him to keep his voice low.  Some people like to sleep late.  I'd say the same about being out past 8 p.m., but that isn't typical for us, so not usually a concern.  Our previous neighbors' kids, however, would be inside all day and then at dusk come out screaming (seriously, the screechy-squealy kind that pierces concrete) and carousing until 10 - looooong past DS's bedtime - and my own.  I'd ask them to quiet down, it would last about a minute, I'd ask again, then the parents would be upset with me instead of telling the kids to tone it down or go inside.  And I was always finding wayward balls in my garden; I'd just toss them back over the fence - I never mentioned it to them.

 

I do not see the problem with teaching courtesy.  If you can't afford large property (or it just isn't practical for other reasons), then you have to learn how to get along and not bother people.

 

OP, I do hope your open house goes well, and that you find the perfect spot for your family very soon!

 

What is your definition of carousing?

 

 

 

Jasperstone, I hope you can move very soon and that the next place is welcoming.

[ForeverFamily]

:grouphug: If buying a lot of acreage isnt a possibility, you could also think about moving to a younger neighborhood with a lot of other kids.  Best of luck, hope you can sell your house quickly.

[Butter]

Sounds like an annoying situation.  I hope your house sells fast, and to people that the neighbors absolutely love.

 

Side note, my kids were up in a tree in our back yard once and our neighbor's mom (who was visiting long-term) told them she was going to call the police because climbing trees is dangerous.  I told my kids to ignore her, but my daughter was very upset and afraid every time her brother climbed that tree (it was a GREAT climbing tree) because she was sure he was going to be taken to jail.

[Happy]

I disagree.

We live in a neighborhood in which the houses are very close together.  I was/am a bit fanatical about keeping DS reined in.  For example, if he was bouncing a ball off the wall of the house and it went bouncing across the driveway to the neighbors' yard, I'd remind him that if he won't control the ball he won't play with it.  After the second reminder, if it happened again, the ball was off-limits for the rest of the day.

 

Another example:  if we were outdoors before 10 a.m., I'd remind him to keep his voice low.  Some people like to sleep late.  I'd say the same about being out past 8 p.m., but that isn't typical for us, so not usually a concern.  Our previous neighbors' kids, however, would be inside all day and then at dusk come out screaming (seriously, the screechy-squealy kind that pierces concrete) and carousing until 10 - looooong past DS's bedtime - and my own.  I'd ask them to quiet down, it would last about a minute, I'd ask again, then the parents would be upset with me instead of telling the kids to tone it down or go inside.  And I was always finding wayward balls in my garden; I'd just toss them back over the fence - I never mentioned it to them.

 

I do not see the problem with teaching courtesy.  If you can't afford large property (or it just isn't practical for other reasons), then you have to learn how to get along and not bother people.

 

OP, I do hope your open house goes well, and that you find the perfect spot for your family very soon!

 

I think you are being unrealistic. I believe everyone should get to use their property. Everyone around here does yard work at 8am on Saturday mornings because it's too dang hot the rest of the day in the summer. Playing in the pool or on the trampoline shouldn't have to be a hush-hush activity either.

 

We and most of our neighbors abide by the 11pm quiet time courtesy. Loud music, basketball by the light of the moon, or other noisy activities cease at 11. Before, it's fair game.

 

Balls and Frisbees fly--unless it's damaging the neighbor's home or gardens, is it really that big a deal to toss the ball over? Or simply retrieve it out of the front yard?

 

About the only thing I get peeved about is a neighbor's dog pooping in my front yard since we don't allow ours to potty there. But it's usually not bad enough to make a stink about. (bad pun intended...)

 

the only way to really get me riled is to drive your truck across part of my yard because you are 'trapped' by all the people at your house for a party. No. Just no.

 

 

 

Life is simplier when we live and let live.

 

[kitten18]

Praying that your house sells quickly.

 

 

We live in an area where houses are VERY close together but 95% of the people in our neighborhood have kids so everyone expects kid noises, to have balls in their yards, etc.

 

[kitten18]

Sounds like an annoying situation.  I hope your house sells fast, and to people that the neighbors absolutely love.

 

Side note, my kids were up in a tree in our back yard once and our neighbor's mom (who was visiting long-term) told them she was going to call the police because climbing trees is dangerous.  I told my kids to ignore her, but my daughter was very upset and afraid every time her brother climbed that tree (it was a GREAT climbing tree) because she was sure he was going to be taken to jail.

:sad:  :thumbdown:

[bettyandbob]

I live in a townhouse community. We have young families and a significant amount of retirees and everything in between. I haven't encountered the awful behavior the OP has. It's nice to be in a neighborhood of mixed ages. It nice when people can live and let live. I don't think the OP needs to move to property with a lot of land. If that works for her, that would be great.

 

I would definitely avoid neighborhoods where the people all appear to be at the same stage. That would be like going to school. Everyone is a retiree. Everyone has toddlers. Everyone is single or no kids. Everyone has teens. When these stages are mixed up you get to know teens who babysit, you get middle and high schoolers who shovel driveways for elderly neighbors. You have people home at different times who look out for the people not home. Well, I feel lucky in my neighborhood, everytime I read these threads.

 

OP, your neighbors are just mean. I hope your house sells soon.  

[Miss Mousie]

 

 

Balls and Frisbees fly--unless it's damaging the neighbor's home or gardens, is it really that big a deal to toss the ball over? Or simply retrieve it out of the front yard?

 

 

Agreed - that would be why I said I just tossed them back and never mentioned it, even when something was damaged.  In my first post I was trying to distinguish between "reasonable request to be quiet late at night" and "unreasonable request to pretend the children don't exist."

 

But, like I said, I am/was pretty fanatical about it, from my side, in order to be a good neighbor.  By the same token, I give a lot of slack to kids not my own - in order to be a good neighbor.

 

I'm certainly not claiming to have all the answers; I'm just sharing a different perspective.

[Miss Mousie]

I agree with you that courtesy is a wonderful thing.  A lot of kids don't have it.  However, if an audio book bothers a neighbor, especially if it is being listened to during the legal hours to make noise, then the neighbor is a "princess in the pea" grouchy type that is looking for trouble, in my opinion. 

 

Someone's desire to have a perfectly quiet environment in a neighborhood of people (and especially children) is no less obnoxious to me than someone's desire to be loud and rude at all hours.  The neighbors are not being courteous to OP.  They are being mean bullies.

 

 

 

I agree that the reactions to the audio book and the tree were over the top, and that wanting to pretend the kids don't exist is unreasonable.

 

I also think the OP was upset about some things that, IMO, were not unreasonable.

 

It definitely sounds to me like more space would suit the OP's family very well, and I hope they find the right place for them.  :)

[kitten18]

Agreed - that would be why I said I just tossed them back and never mentioned it, even when something was damaged.  In my first post I was trying to distinguish between "reasonable request to be quiet late at night" and "unreasonable request to pretend the children don't exist."

 

But, like I said, I am/was pretty fanatical about it, from my side, in order to be a good neighbor.  By the same token, I give a lot of slack to kids not my own - in order to be a good neighbor.

 

I'm certainly not claiming to have all the answers; I'm just sharing a different perspective.

But you were trying to shush the neighbor kids before 10pm because your DS was sleeping.  

My kids went to bed VERY early when they were young, sometimes as early as 6:30.  I know that's not typical, that's why we used noise machines in their rooms and sometimes a fan too.  I had no absolutely no expectation that the neighbors would be quiet before 10pm.

[Miss Mousie]

But you were trying to shush the neighbor kids before 10pm because your DS was sleeping.  

My kids went to bed VERY early when they were young, sometimes as early as 6:30.  I know that's not typical, that's why we used noise machines in their rooms and sometimes a fan too.  I had no absolutely no expectation that the neighbors would be quiet before 10pm.

 

I've never heard 10 p.m. as a universal boundary.  My neighborhood, anyway, is almost always quiet, so no one minds the occasional 4th of July party that goes late, or whatever.  The screaming?  It is just never heard here (until that family arrived - nor since they left).  Also, the kids were congregated directly beneath DS's window, so even with it closed and the sound machine and AC on, it was aggravating.  Why they couldn't at least move out of that spot in their driveway to the backyard or something, I don't know.

 

I haven't had any cross moments with any of the other neighbors' children, because (IMO) they behave reasonably.  Kid noises all day on Saturday?  No problem.  Occasional ball over the fence?  I'll toss it to you.  A blood-curdling-shriek contest at 9:30?  Not cool.

 

Anyway, I think the OP's thread is getting derailed now because I've apparently gotten some folks riled, so I'll bow out and just wish everyone well. 

[Amy in NH]

I've never heard 10 p.m. as a universal boundary.  My neighborhood, anyway, is almost always quiet, so no one minds the occasional 4th of July party that goes late, or whatever.  The screaming?  It is just never heard here (until that family arrived - nor since they left).  Also, the kids were congregated directly beneath DS's window, so even with it closed and the sound machine and AC on, it was aggravating.  Why they couldn't at least move out of that spot in their driveway to the backyard or something, I don't know.

 

I haven't had any cross moments with any of the other neighbors' children, because (IMO) they behave reasonably.  Kid noises all day on Saturday?  No problem.  Occasional ball over the fence?  I'll toss it to you.  A blood-curdling-shriek contest at 9:30?  Not cool.

 

Anyway, I think the OP's thread is getting derailed now because I've apparently gotten some folks riled, so I'll bow out and just wish everyone well. 

 

Everywhere I've lived 10pm has been the boundary for disturbing the peace.  I think 11pm is a bit late.

 

It doesn't sound like the OP's kids have been disturbing the peace at all.  They're just being normal kids.  We've had awful neighbors too - ranging from dog barking all day long (and half the night) and 3yo swearing through the fence at my toddler, to young adults blasting music all hours of the night, to nasty mean old people like OP describes.  That is why we now live on a 3 acre hobby farm surrounded by hay fields with neighbors no closer than 1 mile in any direction.

 

[TammyinTN]

They sound like horrible neighbors to me.  Wishing you a speedy sale and finding an awesome new home for your family!  :grouphug:

[clementine]

They are probably very unhappy people, in addition to being unpleasant neighbors.

 

I hope you find the perfect home for your family!

[Susan in TN]

I am already becoming a bit curmudgeonly, but I sure hope I never get as bad as Jasperstone's neighbors! Hope your house sells quickly!

[candicane]

I hope your sale goes well :) 

 

Those definitely sound like unnecessary requests, except for the one about the crossing over their yard. If something happened to your child that home owner would can be at fault. I'd be annoyed too as they made sidewalks for a reason.

[MeghansMom]

Hugs to you and prayers.

 

What an awful situation! 

 

Hope the next neighborhood brings you joy.

[Anne in CA]

We had a lot of retired neighbors before we moved to CA and some of them were getting obnoxious. They didn't like our teenage son doing landscaping, painting the house, ect because his efforts weren't good enough to showcase their fabulous homes, and the two people who complained were people who dumped all their time and (maybe?) all their money into their homes. Dh and I were trying to teach our kids work ethic and how to save money doing projects yourself, because the amount of money you could spend on paying someone to paint or landscape over time would be HUGE, but they were annoyed that the results were not always good and sometimes it would take dh or I some time to "fix" or help ds "fix" problems. 

 

Also, they did not want ds to practice the drums EVER. He practiced in our insulated basement only between the hours of 1 and 4 so that he was not interrupting anyone's meals, or sleep time. If he was busy and could not practice at that time, I did not let him practice in the evenings. According to a decibel reader he was well within allowed noise during those hours. He was not making nearly the noise of their leaf blowers/ lawn mowers, ect. I wouldn't give in on that. The last time they sent the police, and the policeman tried to tell me that the police were tired of being called on this and to stop letting ds practice at all the man got an earful. After that the police did not come back. Don't know what happened there.

 

Some of our retired neighbors were delightful, and mostly they made up for the grumps.

 

Now we have all wonderful neighbors but live by a highway and have all sorts of weirdos around. So, I'm a little tired of weirdos, but they are mostly clueless, not malicious.

 

[Tsuga]

I disagree.

...

 

OP, I do hope your open house goes well, and that you find the perfect spot for your family very soon!

 

There's courtesy and there's culture. Courtesy means following the cultural norms or asking permission. Cultures vary. Sounds like the OP and her neighbors are from very different cultures (I personally could not care less if small children climbed a tree and saw in my yard, nor do I feel I have the right to total privacy).

 

For your reference, if your expectations are those which you asked your child to adhere to, never move to the suburbs of Seattle. Children here are allowed free reign.

 

It is extremely common--so as to be a daily occurrence--in every neighborhood in the suburbs of Seattle and in Seattle city limits, that I've lived in for the following to happen:

 

• Climbing your own trees.
• Picking apples from other people's trees after asking.
• Taking evening walks. Teens laughing, giggling, teasing between the hours of 8 and 11. (At 10 people start to complain.)
•  Playing ball with the neighbors and it bouncing into their yard.
• Mowing the lawn whenever you gosh darn please, or not mowing it at all.
• Running across people's lawns.
• 9 - 9 are calling/screaming hours, though for some it might be 8 - 8, I asked my neighbors when I got their numbers and they all said 9 - 9.
• Children ride bikes in the street--often.
• People put up basketball hoops and skate ramps in the street.
• Children drawing on public sidewalks and streets with chalk.

 

And that's just the normal stuff. We put up with all kinds of other things with a laugh. Just because you can't afford a large property doesn't mean your children shouldn't learn to climb a tree.

 

OP, I wish you the best of luck in finding a neighborhood where people share your values and value your kids' ability to play!

[PrincessMommy]

Sounds like a terrible situation.  Praying you sell your house very soon.  :grouphug:

[Guest]

Praying.

 

I really really don't understand how some people can live such drama filled miserable lives.  It sucks that your kids have had to experience them. :(

[T'smom]

Wow, that is awful. The tree climbing thing would really have me steamed. I would tell my kids that they could keep climbing the tree and I would inform the neighbors that my kids have permission to climb and they were not to address my dc directly. I they had problems, they could come straight to me. I wouldn't change the audiobook thing either. Of course, I have issues with people trying to tell me what I can/can't do, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

[creekland]

However, if an audio book bothers a neighbor, especially if it is being listened to during the legal hours to make noise, then the neighbor is a "princess in the pea" grouchy type that is looking for trouble, in my opinion. 

 

Or, it could be a situation like my MIL who is just plain unhappy about anyone or anything due to her Alzheimers.  Any kids in trees are going to fall out and die.  Any kids playing with balls are going to break windows.  Any kids talking are too loud.  Any kids running are going to fall and get hurt.  Any kids not in school are troublemakers.  I could go on and on.  I feel for MIL's neighbors and I feel for the OP.

[Katy]

Ugh, if someone started screaming obscenities at my children about behavior I allowed in my own yard, I think I'd call the police and file a report about harassment and anything else (in some places swearing at children could be considered obscene behavior or even child abuse).  I think I might have a hard time not telling them off myself, or at least something like, "It's completely normal and reasonable for a little girl to listen to an educational recording in the middle of the afternoon.  If you don't like it, try closing your windows.  Or maybe moving to a retirement community for rude old people who hate children.  If you harass my children again, I will call the police."

 

I think if you allow people to treat you like that, you're inviting it to continue.

 

I did say a prayer you sell your house though.  Hope everything goes well.

[Jasperstone]

Doesn't sound as if your yard is big enough to do all that playing without annoying the neighbors and violating their privacy.  It is loud if an elderly person can hear your voices inside the next house...they aren't known for being able to hear well, even with the hearing aids in.  I have one neighbor that won't respect the noise laws...I can hear everything if I turn my A/C off and have a window open ( I can hear their TV perfectly well too if its on...son really needs to get his mother a better hearing aid).... and they aren't adjacent..came in very handy when they wanted to add a few more apts to the rooms they are renting out illegally, but told the authorities they were just wanting to convert the garage to an apt for the elderly owner. They now have restrictions on who can live in the house, which has cut the noise down considerably as the tenants have moved on and not been replaced.  Consider that if you don't turn the volume down, your neighbors can hear every word of your personal business.

 

 

About not throwing the ball/frisbee back...you are seeing their custom vs your custom.  They were most likely raised to not play so hard that windows are knocked out and gardens damaged by balls/frisbees routinely going over the fence...and if they do, one politely knocks on the front door and asks if it would be ok to retreive the ball/frisbee. Just like cutting thru the yard without permission, its quite possible that your child will get hurt by something they saw and were curious about, or didn't see, while not supervised. Like others said, the solution is to keep your noise/possessions/children on your property.  For some families that means moving to a bigger property. I hope you find what you like.  At least you know your market....retirees people who aren't partiers..... and your requirement...3 to 5 acres or a smaller property in a very noisy location.  You might want to give the neighbors a heads up on the open house, so they can plan their day.  A few cookies might help smooth things over too.

 

That doesn't make any sense to me. Having a radio or t.v. on would help them to not hear our business. Our window backs onto their window and there's only about 1.5 meters apart. Also, we live on the lower side, so sound travels upwards.

 

The soft large balls that go over could never break a window, or damage a garden. We're not talking cricket balls fly over etc.... And it has happened randomly over the last few years. Not like it's all the time.

 

They have in the past gone over, but they will ignore their knocks.

[Jasperstone]

Maybe it's the NEIGHBORS who need to move to a retirement community or an over 55 age community. The OP children sound like normal children. Kids climb trees. Kids toss balls that go over the fence--not thrown to damage, but just getting out of bounds. The neighbors could just toss the ball or Frisbee back over the fence. Or leave them on the front porch so the kids can get them.

 

Being a Good neighbor goes both ways. These neighbors do not sound like nice people at all.

 

How funny, my dd 12 said the exact same thing to me this morning !

 

They aren't! I forgot to add that they purposely hose down the kids when they play on the side of the house.

 

And when my ds was a toddler he used to call out- hello. And they would ignore him. It was really sad, as he would try harder. If they had such bad hearing then that audio book shouldn't have annoyed them. ;)

 

[Jasperstone]

I disagree.

We live in a neighborhood in which the houses are very close together.  I was/am a bit fanatical about keeping DS reined in.  For example, if he was bouncing a ball off the wall of the house and it went bouncing across the driveway to the neighbors' yard, I'd remind him that if he won't control the ball he won't play with it.  After the second reminder, if it happened again, the ball was off-limits for the rest of the day.

 

Another example:  if we were outdoors before 10 a.m., I'd remind him to keep his voice low.  Some people like to sleep late.  I'd say the same about being out past 8 p.m., but that isn't typical for us, so not usually a concern.  Our previous neighbors' kids, however, would be inside all day and then at dusk come out screaming (seriously, the screechy-squealy kind that pierces concrete) and carousing until 10 - looooong past DS's bedtime - and my own.  I'd ask them to quiet down, it would last about a minute, I'd ask again, then the parents would be upset with me instead of telling the kids to tone it down or go inside.  And I was always finding wayward balls in my garden; I'd just toss them back over the fence - I never mentioned it to them.

 

I do not see the problem with teaching courtesy.  If you can't afford large property (or it just isn't practical for other reasons), then you have to learn how to get along and not bother people.

 

OP, I do hope your open house goes well, and that you find the perfect spot for your family very soon!

 

 

We are just getting on with our lives, and not purposely annoying people. If my dd can't put on a audio book, or kids throw a ball, climb a tree, then I don't think they are having a normal childhood.

 

The people that back onto us start using machinery at 7am! (legal but annoying here in Oz). And we have just put up with it. Even though we like to sleep until 7.30-8 am. Also, the 'tree problem' neighbour has a loud aircon going all night that we had to learn to live with. :crying: