A change in the homeschool movement since I started 13 years ago

[Splash]

I miss just purely social time. I don't have much time for it with everything else going on but I try to make the time now and then. Twice I've invited friends and their families to join us weekly for fun, fellowship, games and twice within weeks the moms were wanting more structure, more learning opportunities, purposeful time. I never wanted it to be academic. We work really hard on our academics, this was meant to be fun and build relationships. I guess we are just in a different place than the others. Even a trip to the zoo had to have worksheets attached to it. Ugh

[happypamama]

Our group does a monthly gentle educational co-op, but we also do field trips, park days, and monthly activity days. For the activity days, we meet at a church that has a big gym and scooters and other things; the kids play (unstructured and undirected, but supervised), and the adults chat.

[ebrindam]

I don't think anyone said there was anything wrong with co-ops. :-) What I said was that co-ops in many communities have replaced support groups, which I don't think is a good idea. There needs to be support groups.

 

 

I have no interest in co-ops and don't feel the need or understand why a support group is needed, but I do love park play days and other social gatherings. We do a lot of those.

[FairProspects]

Our co-op has Ph.D folks teaching Chem, Physics etc.  Definetly worth paying for, IMO!

 

Us too. Along with engineers and plenty of certified teachers who are beyond amazing and have all pulled kids out and left PS education due to political reasons. If we have hands-on learning opportunities taught by these people, we are definitely going to take advantage of them.

 

Add to that the fact that it rains 10 months out of the year here, and indoor classes are far more attractive than getting wet and chilled to the bone at a park day.

[Momto4inSoCal]

I don't really feel like our co-op adds much to the education of my kids. I do it more so that they get to play with other homeschooled kids. Our co-op has once a week school and it's a pe class that does games like jump rope, four square, dodge ball. Games kids play at recess at school. Then my younger dd is memorizing states and learning about poetry. My older dd is doing iew (which I don't have time to teach) and animal anatomy (they do dissection every other week). It's really the stuff I don't have time for but would like to do. We do math, language arts, human anatomy and american history at home. The co-op classes have nothing to do with what we are doing so really they take a day away from our curriculum. They also have an open house, school pictures, choir (we skip this), year books. It's a lot of fun stuff homeschooled kids don't often get to participate in. Group field trips are much cheaper than going on your own and I love hands on learning. A lot of the field trips we couldn't even do without the co op. We are going on one in a couple of weeks that will re-enact the gold rush. They get to pretend to be miners and mine gold, turn it in for profit and buy goods at over inflated prices. They have a shallow mock mine set up with a rail and cart set up along with all the tools they would have had back then. This place only does school field trips so I would never have been able to do it without the group. The great thing about homeschooling though is you have the choice about what you do. No one can force you to join a co-op so if you feel it's not necessary you can skip it. I thought about skipping it this year because it really does take time away from our school work but my kids enjoy it.

[FairProspects]

See, back in the day, we didn't have "play dates." Our support group met at the park once a month (once a week would have been way too much); the children played, of course, but we parents talked face to face with other homeschoolers, a few times until 4 in the afternoon. It was our lifeline. It was valuable.

 

 

 

But if we do have playdates now with other moms & kids (and weekly free periods at co-op to chat in the Mom Zone for support) isn't that essentially the same thing just in a different format? I can assure you my kids have more than 1 playdate a month. It is more like weekly or bi-weekly.

[Mom22ns]

FWIW, the biggest shift that I  really dislike is the pressure put on new homeschooling moms that they canNOT possibly homeschool successfully without turning their children's education over to a coop of some sort.

 

We really don't do anything with other homeschoolers anymore (we used to do a homeschool band), but the first thing almost everyone asks me when I say we homeschool is "Are you a part of some kind of coop?" Um no. If I wanted someone else to teach my kids, I'd have kept them in ps with professional teachers who were for the most part quite good. We started homeschooling to get ds OUT of a classroom, not to shift him into one with an untrained teacher. 

 

I realize I'm a bit of a control freak, but coops are not for us. Park days aren't either though. The weather is too hot in summer, too cold in winter, too rainy in spring, there is no way to consistently enjoy a park day.

 

I guess I just can be pleased. :)

[FairProspects]

We really don't do anything with other homeschoolers anymore (we used to do a homeschool band), but the first thing almost everyone asks me when I say we homeschool is "Are you a part of some kind of coop?" Um no. If I wanted someone else to teach my kids, I'd have kept them in ps with professional teachers who were for the most part quite good. We started homeschooling to get ds OUT of a classroom, not to shift him into one with an untrained teacher. 

 

I realize I'm a bit of a control freak, but coops are not for us. Park days aren't either though. The weather is too hot in summer, too cold in winter, too rainy in spring, there is no way to consistently enjoy a park day.

 

I guess I just can be pleased. :)

 

Not picking on you specifically (and I adore reading your posts and experiences :) ) but it does bug me that there is an assumption out there that co-op classes are taught by mostly untrained moms. I actually think this is one aspect that has changed along with the shift to co-ops for many in metro areas. I know most of our classes are taught by either certified teachers or pros in the field (scientists, artists, professional writers). The quality of content makes the co-op experience a different choice than if all the classes were taught by untrained teachers. Yes, the same issues of classroom management and a classroom setting still exist but having the option to pick and choose classes from highly qualified teachers is a huge advantage of homeschooling, IMHO.

[Laurel-in-CA]

At it 17 years now. We've done lots of mom-driven class days over the years. Those only work well when you have equivalent levels of commitment from all the moms and you can adjust topics to fit the focus of the group so that everybody has a class their kids can take and one they can teach. We've done one for-pay co-op...and if I'm paying I want the classes to FIT and they didn't and it ended up being a lot of work for me. I'll consider it again when my youngest is in high school, maybe, if the community college option doesn't seem right for her. 

 

We're in a Friday park day group and, frankly, that's for ME...to walk around the park with other moms and talk and share glimpses of materials or prayer requests or handcrafts or swap stuff we don't want anymore, including clothes. If we even suggest anything mom-driven for that time slot, the 11yo gets all huffy and tells me to quit cutting into her playtime with assignments, even if they're fun assignments. She and her friends are all busy sharing their stories with each other -- creative writing critique time is what it turns into, but I don't call it academic. I call it PE. And teacher refreshment.

[Ellie]

But if we do have playdates now with other moms & kids (and weekly free periods at co-op to chat in the Mom Zone for support) isn't that essentially the same thing just in a different format? I can assure you my kids have more than 1 playdate a month. It is more like weekly or bi-weekly.

 

No. :-)

 

A support group might or might not have a park day; where the weather is nice almost year-round, as in Southern California, monthly park days are pretty much on-going. But they're not "play dates." I've never done a "play date." I'm thinking that's a term that is a hold-over from MOPS or some other pre-school-age kind of group. 

 

Our park days were the initial (and in San Diego, the *only*) get-togethers for both parents and children. We mothers *needed* that park day, because back in the early 80s we were inventing homeschooling. There might have been informal get-togethers during the month between a couple of families whose children had bonded, but park day...we never missed park day. And we knew that we were a support group, not just random homeschooling friends meeting for lunch or whatever.

 

Over time, "co-ops" grew up, but they are not the same as support groups. Not that they are less good or anything, but they are different.

 

A support group is not a "play group," either. :-)

[ebrindam]

No. :-)

 

A support group might or might not have a park day; where the weather is nice almost year-round, as in Southern California, monthly park days are pretty much on-going. But they're not "play dates." I've never done a "play date." I'm thinking that's a term that is a hold-over from MOPS or some other pre-school-age kind of group. 

 

Our park days were the initial (and in San Diego, the *only*) get-togethers for both parents and children. We mothers *needed* that park day, because back in the early 80s we were inventing homeschooling. There might have been informal get-togethers during the month between a couple of families whose children had bonded, but park day...we never missed park day. And we knew that we were a support group, not just random homeschooling friends meeting for lunch or whatever.

 

Over time, "co-ops" grew up, but they are not the same as support groups. Not that they are less good or anything, but they are different.

 

A support group is not a "play group," either. :-)

 

 

I think maybe the need for support groups isn't there now that homeschooling is so mainstream. I can see why 20-30 years ago there were less people doing it and it was not the 'norm' that support groups might have been necessary. But now...it's everywhere. 

[FairProspects]

Yes, I need support from the Learning Challenges forum or specific friends with similar children and suggestions for specific issues but not really for homeschooling in general. Homeschooling and alternative educational paths are mainstream around here. I also need friends and community but they don't necessarily have to be homeschoolers at all. Maybe the needs of homeschoolers have just changed? I do appreciate the pioneers who fought to make it legal and forged the path to mainstream homeschooling, but my family's needs are just different at this point. :)

 

FWIW, our co-op does hold monthly Mom's Night Outs but they are purely social events. I'm guessing those wouldn't meet the definition of a support group either, although they are homeschoolers sometimes talking shop, and sometimes not.

[SeaConquest]

I'm a homeschooling newbie, but I'd add that a lot of us secular homeschoolers use charter schools, which tend to come with much more of an instant community for kids and parents. As a result, we have much less need for support from the broader homeschooling community.

[Farrar]

IMO, coops are like school only not everyday. It's as if homeschooling is turning into this...I don't know...competition to be better than all the ps and private academically. Like we have to prove we are superior by doing all of these highly academic classes and things. I'm not saying anyone is intentionally doing this, although I'm sure some are, I guess I just miss the "old days" where my kids and I made friends with other hs families simply buying hanging out not paying hundreds of dollars for more school work or me teaching others kids. There's really  not a whole lot of difference in the atmosphere of the coops "I" have been to and ps/private.

 

You clearly haven't been to my co-op. I can assure you that the seven kids in my house today making their own imaginary newscast and newspaper bore zero resemblance to any school I've ever worked in - including the wacky out there private schools. ;)

 

Co-op can mean a lot of things.

[Farrar]

I'm a homeschooling newbie, but I'd add that a lot of us secular homeschoolers use charter schools, which tend to come with much more of an instant community for kids and parents. As a result, we have much less need for support from the broader homeschooling community.

 

Hm. Not around here. I think that must be on a state by state basis. None of the secular homeschoolers I know use a charter. In fact, everyone I've ever met schooling through a charter doesn't call themselves a "homeschooler." But, again, state by state...

[Erin]

You know, the biggest change is probably the prevalence of online communities.  

 

Those who met for play dates once a week/month can now log on to their Facebook homeschool group, or here, or some similar type of page that provides a virtual community whenever you need it...

[Farrar]

This is an interesting conversation.

 

I'm not an old timer. Only on year six of this deal. The scene hasn't changed that much around us. There are still co-ops that look like schools, co-ops that look like a huge cluster**** of a mess, co-ops that are tiny, one off classes offered by organizations or homeschoolers or professionals, 4H and scouting and other groups that have homeschool specific chapters, and park days.

 

I do basically agree that the trend seems to be more toward classes and co-ops and less toward the free play. And I totally agree that it's more than just in the homeschool world. Free play is valued less for kids in our society in general than it was just ten years ago.

 

We don't attend any of the park days around us. One, which is sort of a roaming park day/light field trip day (as in let's go to this nature park and run around sort of "field trip"), conflicts, which is too bad because the kids and moms who do that one are really sweet. The other two that are possible for us both have serious problems with bullying. I don't want my kids there.

 

Besides, not having to worry about what's the composition of the next park day is basically why we've been with the same kids in the same co-op since kindergarten. It's now only three families. It's not academic. The kids choose the topics and basically run it and the parents facilitate what the kids want to do. It has evolved with the kids as they've grown. It's free unless the parents spend money for supplies or we all agree to do something together like a field trip that costs money.

 

I have mixed feelings about the cliqueness that I know this creates. I really, really try my darnest to reach out to new homeschoolers and I run a tiny listserv and email with people and meet with them sometimes. But I know it's not the same as having that community. We did have a super strong preschool homeschool group when my kids were younger. It was amazing. There was always a park day. There was always a good group. There were Mom's Night Outs. It was great. But as my kids got older, they wanted the friend group to be more stable and I sort of did too. Thus, the co-op.

[SarahW]

You people are making me jealous. When I was hs'ed back in the 80's/90's I NEVER got any park days.  :lol:

 

Well, that was in dreary Ohio. Our local homeschool group met once a month at the library meeting room. I think there was sometimes "something" planned, but I mostly remember running around and us kids making a nuisance of ourselves.

 

I'm pretty sure the moms griped/compared most of the time. The group only lasted a few years, iirc. I guess the good old days had its share of Drama too. :laugh: 

 

I still wish I had had myself some park days.... 

[Mom22ns]

Not picking on you specifically (and I adore reading your posts and experiences :) ) but it does bug me that there is an assumption out there that co-op classes are taught by mostly untrained moms. I actually think this is one aspect that has changed along with the shift to co-ops for many in metro areas. I know most of our classes are taught by either certified teachers or pros in the field (scientists, artists, professional writers). The quality of content makes the co-op experience a different choice than if all the classes were taught by untrained teachers. Yes, the same issues of classroom management and a classroom setting still exist but having the option to pick and choose classes from highly qualified teachers is a huge advantage of homeschooling, IMHO.

 

How very interesting and wonderful for you! It is good to know that such a thing exists - even if not in my neighborhood :). I've looked, and around here there are very few professionals teaching classes in coops. There are some moms that were/are professionals and teach in their field of expertise, but that is a small minority not the majority in any coop. 

 

My oldest has multiple LDs. A classroom environment was hard for him when he was younger. Even a professional in their field would have had no idea how to deal with him. He had some wonderful teachers that really helped him grow. When we pulled out of public school it was to move at his pace and away from classrooms. In high school I might have been willing to try a coop with some terrific teachers. That isn't available here though.

[Soror]

And here in this very thread there is the idea that if we have park days we must not care about academics or the only classes worth attending are ran by PhDs. If we think hs'ers are able to effectively school without such degrees then certainly co-op classes don't have to meet that standard to possibly be worthwhile. If my kids were older and there were some local classes ran by experts from the field we'd try them out if it fit with our schedule and plans but then again those aren't an option so I guess we'll have to make do like those hs'ers of years past. This idea doesn't seem much different than the belief that we need public school experts to adequately educate our children.

 

It is one thing to say that some hs'ers use these resources and find them useful but when it gets to the point that we have to put down hs'ers that don't use such options I don't think it is helpful to anyone :(

[Hunter]

What used to be HOMEschool is now homeSCHOOL. 

 

Then, most homeschoolers were radicals. Now, most homeschoolers are mainstream.

 

It was common and not shamed to be a low-income homeschoolers. Now low-income homeschoolers are inflicting "educational neglect" on their children.

 

Early homeschoolers were not striving for upward mobility. Now upward mobility is expected of all homeschoolers, despite the fact that upward mobility in the USA in general has dropped below European rates.

 

The average number of hours spent on explicitly-taught on-task lessons has about tripled. Moms feel crushed by this load.

 

PS is different, and homeschoolers that are paying attention to what is happening in the PS are going to respond to those differences.

 

Health-insurance rates have skyrocketed and people are making choices around wanting their children to be able to afford health-insurance as adults. I think ebola or some other infectious disease is going to topple our mess before these kids reach adulthood, though. NO ONE back in the 90's planned math instruction around wanting their child to be able to afford health insurance. NO ONE!

 

It's a different world for sure.

[SeaConquest]

Hm. Not around here. I think that must be on a state by state basis. None of the secular homeschoolers I know use a charter. In fact, everyone I've ever met schooling through a charter doesn't call themselves a "homeschooler." But, again, state by state...

Yes, this must vary widely. In San Diego, and I assume to a similar degree in other CA urban areas, at least half of the homeschoolers on our FB and Yahoo message boards school through charters.

 

And personally, I'd have a hard time telling prolific posters like Crimson Wife, and others who use charters, that what we do isn't homeschooling. While our children may technically be enrolled in public schools, we are primarily responsible for their educations.

[Farrar]

Yes, this must vary widely. In San Diego, and I assume to a similar degree in other CA urban areas, at least half of the homeschoolers on our FB and Yahoo message boards school through charters.

 

And personally, I'd have a hard time telling prolific posters like Crimson Wife, and others who use charters, that what we do isn't homeschooling. While our children may technically be enrolled in public schools, we are primarily responsible for their educations.

 

Yeah, the law in California is so different... Around here, the couple of people who I've met who do virtual charters, do K12 and park their kids in front of the computer and supervise minimally. They are required to go to the physical school every so often - maybe once a month? - for classes or something (I didn't really understand when it was explained to me). They have lots of stuff they can or have to do socially with the other kids from the school, who are all fairly local. It's a weird scene, but it's nothing like any of the homeschoolers I know.

 

The only other charters here are actual schools.

[EmilyGF]

 

We don't attend any of the park days around us. One, which is sort of a roaming park day/light field trip day (as in let's go to this nature park and run around sort of "field trip"), conflicts, which is too bad because the kids and moms who do that one are really sweet. The other two that are possible for us both have serious problems with bullying. I don't want my kids there.

We've very much experienced this at two different groups that basically let the kids roam.

[Arcadia]

Yes, the same issues of classroom management and a classroom setting still exist but having the option to pick and choose classes from highly qualified teachers is a huge advantage of homeschooling, IMHO.

Besides being able to pick the teachers, the class size is also much smaller so classroom management is usually easier. My kids science class is 1 to 12, German is 1 to 8. Better ratios than most private schools we looked at.

[Farrar]

We've very much experienced this at two different groups that basically let the kids roam.

 

Yeah. I've been at ones - or in communities - where the kids roam and there's no problem... or, at least, no systemic problem and the parents are responsive. I think it's all about being responsive! I'm actually really in favor of roaming kids. I'm just also in favor of not letting your kids bully. Or compounding the bullying by being a bullying mom yourself or by refusing to see that your kid is a budding sociopath. (Argh... and that's all I'll say about that!)

[Momto4inSoCal]

I dont think I would do park days if I wasnt part of a co op. I don't go to the park days our co op does. If I'm going outside I like to be surrounded by nature as nature intended. Hiking days or beach days appeal to me much more than park days. I think part of the reason for the change is the internet. We don't need to talk to other moms to find out about curriculum or learning resources. Plus nowadays people are overscheduled so the only way to get together is multi tasking. Combine a park day with school and knock them both out at the same time.

[FloridaLisa]

There has definitely been a shift since we started 16 years ago.  

 

Homeschooling is an industry now.

 

Back then, we generated a lot of our own teaching materials -- pulling things together to create studies or finding treasures in used library sales. There was curriculum, but not at all like today. Just look at Latin. My oldest started in 5th grade with Henle b/c that's what was out there.  We were to start slowly and work through it. Then Memoria Press developed some Latin, then others published theirs and now there are multiple choices including online classes.

 

Back then, we cooked up our own classes.  "Hey, you want to get together and study astronomy?" And a couple of families would pull together for a few months to do some science. Or geography or history. Now, co-ops and classes and multi-state groups have proliferated with a huge presence in the homeschool community.  I don't think that's bad at all (in fact there are lots of perks), but it is different. Even the just-published Veritas Press we used back in 2000 is now a huge online operation with an accredited academy and homeschooling groups across the USofA. 

 

Back then, most homeschoolers started at home.  Now, kids are pulled out of school and many (most?) go straight into another structured program from a university model to a 2-day a week program to huge co-ops to online charters and virtual academies.  Much of that is driven by the reasons kids are being pulled out. The reason why many kids are being homeschooled has shifted. 

 

The economy is different now. I saw a huge shift in how homeschooling was done when the economy tanked in 2008.  Many, many families needed mom to generate income and so that meant shifting some or all of the schooling to an outside source. It also meant pulling kids from an expensive private school and finding a homeschool option. 

 

It's easy to pine away for the simpleness of the old days. But, I would far rather home school through high school with the resources available now than 16 years ago.  JMO. 

 

Lisa

[Jean in Newcastle]

Yeah. I've been at ones - or in communities - where the kids roam and there's no problem... or, at least, no systemic problem and the parents are responsive. I think it's all about being responsive! I'm actually really in favor of roaming kids. I'm just also in favor of not letting your kids bully. Or compounding the bullying by being a bullying mom yourself or by refusing to see that your kid is a budding sociopath. (Argh... and that's all I'll say about that!)

The park days I went to back when my kids were little were big on bullying.  Even dd who was preK was picked on.  What?  I'd rather pick friends because I like them than because of their educational methods/choices.  So we have "park days" (AKA we get together at the park) with people we know from all sorts of places.  

 

As far as co-ops etc. we're personally too busy doing our own thing to have outside classes that only meet a couple of times.  I think it's great that others have that choice.  It's just not our choice.  

[Ellie]

 

FWIW, our co-op does hold monthly Mom's Night Outs but they are purely social events. I'm guessing those wouldn't meet the definition of a support group either, although they are homeschoolers sometimes talking shop, and sometimes not.

 

Why wouldn't that "meet the definition of a support group"? :huh:

 

A support group is a group of people who come together to encourage one another, in whatever way meets the needs of that group. When I hsed in San Diego from 1982 to 1986, we did monthly park days as our major support group activity; when I went to San Jose, most support groups also did Moms Night Out in addition to park day. MNO varied from group to group, but most of the time it was quite social. Some groups had planned activities and stuff, but the ones which went on for many years were very relaxed.

 

I would not expect support groups in, say, Vermont to have year-round park days, but they were perfectly natural in California. :-)

[Crimson Wife]

Yes, this must vary widely. In San Diego, and I assume to a similar degree in other CA urban areas, at least half of the homeschoolers on our FB and Yahoo message boards school through charters.

 

And personally, I'd have a hard time telling prolific posters like Crimson Wife, and others who use charters, that what we do isn't homeschooling. While our children may technically be enrolled in public schools, we are primarily responsible for their educations.

 

At the moment, I've got 3 kids enrolled in 3 different types of schools.

 

One whom everyone would agree is currenty "homeschooled" since I filed the private school affidavit for her this year. We're paying out of pocket for all her materials and classes.

 

One whom everyone would agree is not homeschooled since she attend a FT special ed kindergarten class.

 

Then I've got one in a charter independent study program. I choose the materials and classes for the school to purchase with the stipend. He meets with a teacher once per month and will have to take the Smarter Balanced test in the spring. Whether or not others want to consider him "homeschooled" is up to them. I personally consider him just as "homeschooled" as his sister with the PSA. The only difference between the two for me in terms of how I teach is who pays for the materials.

[Farrar]

At the moment, I've got 3 kids enrolled in 3 different types of schools.

 

One whom everyone would agree is currenty "homeschooled" since I filed the private school affidavit for her this year. We're paying out of pocket for all her materials and classes.

 

One whom everyone would agree is not homeschooled since she attend a FT special ed kindergarten class.

 

Then I've got one in a charter independent study program. I choose the materials and classes for the school to purchase with the stipend. He meets with a teacher once per month and will have to take the Smarter Balanced test in the spring. Whether or not others want to consider him "homeschooled" is up to them. I personally consider him just as "homeschooled" as his sister with the PSA. The only difference between the two for me in terms of how I teach is who pays for the materials.

 

Just to clarify since SeaConquest's comment was to me, I would too. I mostly meant that in her original comment, she said that many secular homeschoolers (or perhaps homeschoolers in general) find their community through their charters now. Except for in a couple of states like California, I don't think that's true. The only charters around me are physical schools or virtual K12. There's no way to "homeschool through a charter" in my not-a-state or in most of the states that I know well so I don't think that that's the main reason that homeschool communities have drifted away from more informal park days and support groups to more formal co-ops. That was my only point.

[Matryoshka]

Yeah, the law in California is so different... Around here, the couple of people who I've met who do virtual charters, do K12 and park their kids in front of the computer and supervise minimally. They are required to go to the physical school every so often - maybe once a month? - for classes or something (I didn't really understand when it was explained to me). They have lots of stuff they can or have to do socially with the other kids from the school, who are all fairly local. It's a weird scene, but it's nothing like any of the homeschoolers I know.

 

The only other charters here are actual schools.

 

Here too.  We got our first virtual charter a few years ago (happens to be K12).  It just got put on academic probation.  Most of the homeschoolers (at least the ones I've heard of) who have signed up for it have quickly dumped it, often after less than a year.  The school district running it is not a good one, and the admin is a bit of a horror show.  I get the feeling that it ends up largely being used much less by intentional homeschoolers than by at-risk kids as a last-ditch effort.  It is also only for K-8.

 

I think a second virtual charter may have started up this year?  I'm not sure of details. 

 

There are also no university model schools or drop-in centers or anything like I hear of here in other places.  Various parent-run coops, yes.  There is one place that has classes taught by teachers (not parents) that is 2x a week for homeschoolers,  It is very expensive, though - one class is $1400+ per year...

 

[Guest kesdjmarouse]

 Younger kids play on the playground. Moms sit at the table and chat. I love it.

[mama27]

To those who feel guilty for not belonging to a coop: DON'T! I have tried them, don't like them, and really don't want to be in one and at this moment would rather stick a fork in my eye than belong to one.

[KrissiK]

My homeschool group has come full circle with that. When I started it was play dates at the park and field trips. Then, a couple years ago we hired a writing teacher and did a co-op. I taught three classes of hands-on science that year. (Can you say "burn-out"?) Last year we kind of stumbled around the co-op thing, and this year..... We are back to play dates at the park and field trips, and if a parent wants to do a little mini-unit on something, then that is fine. I held a couple of book clubs earlier in the fall that were fun! I like it better this way!

[Dory]

Our homeschool group here doesn't have weekly classes. There are weekly park days for those moms who want to just visit while their kids play. There are field trips, science days, literacy days, writing courses, art lessons, curriculum fairs, swimming lessons, skating lessons, and so on that are planned here and there throughout the year. My kids will join in on a wall climbing class and a science day next month and last month we joined in on an art day. We have never done the park days though simply because I can't drive 1 1/2 hours away for just a park day. Although that would really be nice.

[momto2Cs]

Give me a minute to put my head between my knees now that I realize I've been homeschooling for 13 years!!!!!

 

Anyways! I've noticed that when I started this journey there were lots of hs groups that met weekly at a park and the kids just played. Just played. the teenagers all the way down to the newborns. Well, obviously newborns didn't play, but they got admired and held, etc. The moms sat and talked. Jus talked. Talked about what was going right, going wrong, what was for dinner, what they missed about working, their pets, whatever.

 Then we met once a month and had some kind of educational activity. A field trip. A science day. International Night. Etc.

 

Now, there are way more groups and they still meet weekly but instead of just...gasp!...hanging out, it's all day educational classes (aka co-op) and homework assignments. And MAYBE once a month fun things like skating. Maybe.

 

I'm really not fond of this shift. What was wrong with just going to a park and letting kids PLAY?

 

This sounds exactly like our beloved park days, which we've been a part f since ds13 was 5. The moms do take a little walk around the park now that our kids are older and can help watch each other a bit, but otherwise it is just as you wrote, and I wouldn't change it for the world. The older kids play Magic, bring guitars, play disc golf, etc., while the younger ones tag along, or play in the sandbox or on the play structure. There are a lot of activities going at any one moment, from card games to ultimate Frisbee, all very loose as people go in and out of the games. Sometimes we moms get involved in the games too, sometimes we just sit and chat about anything and everything under the sun.

 

We've done some co-ops that sound more like what you are describing as happening now, but we didn't care much for them.

 

 

Me, too, Karen!  I ONLY do things with other homeschoolers that are social.   FWIW, the biggest shift that I  really dislike is the pressure put on new homeschooling moms that they canNOT possibly homeschool successfully without turning their children's education over to a coop of some sort.

 

Thank you for saying this.  I always feel like a bit of a loser because we don't do co-ops, and I feel guilty about it.

 

Me too! We have co-ops available through a few sources, and while we did try them, they weren't for us. All our interaction with other homeschool families at the moment is purely social. We did have a lot of fun going over to a friend's house to do kitchen chemistry for a while! Just her family and mine, so hardly a co-op.

 

Exactly!!! Why can't kids just play anymore? Why does EVERY SINGLE THING have to be a learning experience? We live in a busy neighborhood now, after living in the boonies for years and years and yesterday, for the first time in almost 2 months of living here, I finally saw 3 teenage boys walking around. Not even kids with bikes, no skateboards, no yelling kids on the weekends (except my own), just those 3 boys onetime.

 

I know there are kids on our street too, but mine are the only ones I see playing outside. Very strange.

[Southern Ivy]

If I may butt in...
Those of you who are not part of a co-op, where do your children meet their friends? 
This has been my sole reason for seeking out a co-op when my daughter is old enough. We live in a small town and the nearest HS groups are an hour away (that I know of anyway). We are 45 minutes from our church, so it's not as if we can just jaunt over to our Sunday School friends' homes. 

I am sure there are other homeschoolers in our tiny town, but the only ones I know of are from a super crazy, uber-strict religious sect that I would not want (or be allowed) to be a part of. 
I guess, for right now, I see a co-op as a means to finding some friends and have some play time with someone other than mom and any siblings that come along in the next few years. 

[GrammarGirl]

If I may butt in...

Those of you who are not part of a co-op, where do your children meet their friends?

This has been my sole reason for seeking out a co-op when my daughter is old enough. We live in a small town and the nearest HS groups are an hour away (that I know of anyway). We are 45 minutes from our church, so it's not as if we can just jaunt over to our Sunday School friends' homes.

 

I am sure there are other homeschoolers in our tiny town, but the only ones I know of are from a super crazy, uber-strict religious sect that I would not want (or be allowed) to be a part of.

I guess, for right now, I see a co-op as a means to finding some friends and have some play time with someone other than mom and any siblings that come along in the next few years.

For now, my kids have church friends that they see on Sunday and Wednesday, plus my oldest was just in a play and made some friends through that. I don't really feel a need for get-togethers outside of church and the occasional birthday party right now. My girls are each others' best friends. Eventually, when finances permit, we'll do ballet or soccer to broaden their circle, but I think having siblings to play with and fight with is a good start at socialization.

[Ellie]

If I may butt in...

Those of you who are not part of a co-op, where do your children meet their friends? 

This has been my sole reason for seeking out a co-op when my daughter is old enough. We live in a small town and the nearest HS groups are an hour away (that I know of anyway). We are 45 minutes from our church, so it's not as if we can just jaunt over to our Sunday School friends' homes. 

 

I am sure there are other homeschoolers in our tiny town, but the only ones I know of are from a super crazy, uber-strict religious sect that I would not want (or be allowed) to be a part of. 

I guess, for right now, I see a co-op as a means to finding some friends and have some play time with someone other than mom and any siblings that come along in the next few years. 

 

Our local support group, which, as I have mentioned, was not a co-op. We had a monthly park day, which was as important for us parents as it was for the children :-) and from that we formed friendships with some; we got together occasionally with them (not "play dates." I don't do "play dates.") during the month.

 

Our county-wide support group, which scheduled a six-week bowling league once a year, and a monthly skate day. Older dd is still friends with someone she met during the bowling league. I'm still friends with her, too. :-)

 

Church.

 

Highland dance and ballet, which were community based, not homeschool activities.

 

4-H and Camp Fire...ditto

 

If there are enough people to make up a co-op, why wouldn't there be enough people to start a support group closer to you? For me, a co-op would be educational, while a support group would be social.

[Tess in the Burbs]

If I may butt in...

Those of you who are not part of a co-op, where do your children meet their friends? 

This has been my sole reason for seeking out a co-op when my daughter is old enough. We live in a small town and the nearest HS groups are an hour away (that I know of anyway). We are 45 minutes from our church, so it's not as if we can just jaunt over to our Sunday School friends' homes. 

 

I am sure there are other homeschoolers in our tiny town, but the only ones I know of are from a super crazy, uber-strict religious sect that I would not want (or be allowed) to be a part of. 

I guess, for right now, I see a co-op as a means to finding some friends and have some play time with someone other than mom and any siblings that come along in the next few years. 

we have always homeschooled.  We did an art class thing once for a semester and then a class a few years ago at a co-op, but otherwise, we have been HOME or done some group learning with friends.  My kids don't want to do a co-op!!!  Me either, but I feel better knowing they also don't like it. 

 

We meet people at church, sports, scouts, and in public.  

 

Since moving here 2 months ago:  

 

1-met a lady with 2 younger boys.  We love playing with them.  Not even my kids ages, but a neat family and the kids all get along so well.  

 

2-met several kids at a church we visited.  kids really hit it off, mom and I eventually touched base through email when I met people she knew....

 

3-met more kids at church we now attend...found out they live 3 houses up the street from us.  

 

4-met another family from here on the boards

 

5-son has Trail Life USA.....he has met people there and dd met another sister hanging around...one of her best new friends!

 

6-dd has American Heritage Girls and is now forming friends from that group

 

7-attended a homeschool field trip where son got to hang out with boy from #2 and found dd gets along with his sisters as well.  

 

8-joined a support group that is some field trips(once a month), some support meetings, and twice a year the kids get together for game night.  This group really has no contact with each other except planned events.  I wish they did more....like more game nights or random get togethers.  

 

While at the scout thing I met a lady who knew the boy my son had met at the church.  Another mom knows several other women I have met recently.  Life really is a small world.  

 

My point being....in just 2 months we have met a lot of people.  And not in a co-op class.  Just doing what we do.  Church, scouts, sports, going to the park.  My goal now is to get more regular in planning to meet up with people outside of the events we do.  I sent an email to one family just today asking about getting together.  And yesterday we met up with the mom/boys for a random park day.  So just get out and get involved in things.  You can find plenty of friends.  In a small town your friends may not be all homeschoolers and that's ok. 

[Zinnia]

Yes, park days. That's what I meant. Kids play, moms chat, teens hang out together almost but not quite out of sight of the adults. But this happens more at open play type places than at actual parks. 

 

My mom (who was young when she had me, so not that old right now, but definitely a different generation) really bristles when she hears the word "playdate." 

 

"But we just got together at people's houses and played or gathered at the park and you guys played." 

 

Yes, I know, that's a playdate.  :)

 

[Clear Creek]

If I may butt in...

Those of you who are not part of a co-op, where do your children meet their friends? 

This has been my sole reason for seeking out a co-op when my daughter is old enough. We live in a small town and the nearest HS groups are an hour away (that I know of anyway). We are 45 minutes from our church, so it's not as if we can just jaunt over to our Sunday School friends' homes. 

 

I am sure there are other homeschoolers in our tiny town, but the only ones I know of are from a super crazy, uber-strict religious sect that I would not want (or be allowed) to be a part of. 

I guess, for right now, I see a co-op as a means to finding some friends and have some play time with someone other than mom and any siblings that come along in the next few years. 

 

We were part of a co-op for a couple years. It was very clique-ish...I didn't make a single friend, and my kids did not make any friends. After that group disbanded (yes, they eventually turned on each other with their junior high behavior) a lot of them joined the other major co-op in my area, so I have had no interest at all in joining it.

 

My kids have made friends at choir, at church, at football practice, at youth group events with other churches, at the playground, at Girl Scouts...basically anywhere that we go that has children there.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

We still have plain old park days around here.  Meet at the park, all ages of kids running around, moms sitting and chatting.

[Ellie]

We still have plain old park days around here.  Meet at the park, all ages of kids running around, moms sitting and chatting.

 

:001_wub:

[Jilly]

I live in a very heavy homeschool area. The changes in the community over the last ten years has been amazing. When we first started homeschooling in 2003 there were a handful of groups and park day was the highlight of our week. The kids played, the moms supported each other, and everyone felt connected within the small homeschool community.

 

A few years later charter schools started popping up, and most of the moms used them because of the money. At first the money was used primarily for curriculum and maybe piano lessons or karate lessons. Then people wanted the school to pay for other services and within only a few years the list of vendors available for homeschoolers at these charter schools grew into the 100s. More businesses started offering their services and suddenly there was more choices than anyone could have ever imagined. This caused a shift in the local homeschool community as parents were outsourcing more and more. Suddenly park day became less and less important and homeschool classes became the focus. 

 

Today, at least where I am, you can still find park days with any homeschool group you join. You also find classes, field trips, mom's night out, and other activities. It is almost overwhelming (at least to me) all of the choices there are. I worry about the younger parents who are just starting out homeschooling because I feel there is a good deal of pressure out there to do it all for your kids, and that often means outsourcing as much as you can. 

 

I loved our early homeschool years, the long park days, the short lessons, the free time to just be with each other. It truly was a very amazing and magical time. Obviously our journey will not be the same as other's, but I do have to admit that I somewhat miss the old days. 

[Southern Ivy]

 

My point being....in just 2 months we have met a lot of people.  And not in a co-op class.  Just doing what we do.  Church, scouts, sports, going to the park.  My goal now is to get more regular in planning to meet up with people outside of the events we do.  I sent an email to one family just today asking about getting together.  And yesterday we met up with the mom/boys for a random park day.  So just get out and get involved in things.  You can find plenty of friends.  In a small town your friends may not be all homeschoolers and that's ok. 

I guess I'm more afraid that my introverted nature will make it harder for her to meet more people. 

Guess that's just something I'm going to have to work through, huh? ;) 

[albeto.]

I live in a very heavy homeschool area. The changes in the community over the last ten years has been amazing. When we first started homeschooling in 2003 there were a handful of groups and park day was the highlight of our week. The kids played, the moms supported each other, and everyone felt connected within the small homeschool community.

 

A few years later charter schools started popping up, and most of the moms used them because of the money. At first the money was used primarily for curriculum and maybe piano lessons or karate lessons. Then people wanted the school to pay for other services and within only a few years the list of vendors available for homeschoolers at these charter schools grew into the 100s. More businesses started offering their services and suddenly there was more choices than anyone could have ever imagined. This caused a shift in the local homeschool community as parents were outsourcing more and more. Suddenly park day became less and less important and homeschool classes became the focus. 

 

Our community went from this kind of dynamic (park day, informal get-togethers according to who wanted to offer what) to using charter schools. Now the public school offers a program for education at home. It's basically the public school curricula, but the student has a choice of which campus to take a class. The parent can teach up to half the curriculum at home, but it must follow the public school curriculum, use their tests, do their homework assignments. It appeals to people whose kids want to play instruments, learn languages, and whose parents worry about science labs and higher math and college admission because the resources are better on a school campus. The consequence is that park days are attended by kids under 10. Teens are weeded out of the homeschool environment because the convenience is just too attractive for many to pass up. Meanwhile, a few of us stubborn homeschoolers are left. It's depressing to not really have a local community, especially when it used to be such a thriving one. 

[mama27]

In our previous state for a couple years we were VERY involved in a church, then we left. I got the kids in martial arts and 4H but then we moved.

I haven't done anything here yet because so far all I have found are coops. We had a bad experience at church so I'm reluctant to do that again. I am planning on signing some kids up for martail arts and my 15 yo for acting classes.