Married last name poll

[KIN]

I'm feeling curious this evening. :) In my church, Mennonite, it is very common for married couples to join their last names via a hyphen or just having two last names. I'm wondering about the rest of the world, LOL. :) My dh and I have my last name and his, not hyphened.

 

ETA: Our children just have dh's last name. In case you were curious.

[Mom to Aly]

Your poll didn't show up, but I LOVE this practice--never heard of it!! I mean, for the wife, yes, but the hubby, no!

[5kidsforME]

I took Dh's last name.

[Alenee]

I never knew anyone whose dh took the dw's last name and smooshed both of them together. ;) That's kinda cool!

[mrscopterdoc]

I took Dh's last name.

 

me too.

[Melissa B]

I had to pick other. My husband kept his last name. I kept mine and took his, but with no hyphen. Informally, I only use his. On anything legal, I have both. All of our children have both last names, no hyphen. They generally only use my husband's last name as well.

[Jenny in Florida]

When we were first married, I kept my name. I felt very, very strongly about it, never even considered another possibility.

 

Then, we had two kids, to whom we gave my husband's last name. And I ended up the only weird one. My daughter actually told me it bothered her that my name was different from hers. Plus, in the meantime, my family (to whom I had not been close for years) completely imploded and made my life absolutely hellish for some time. It got to the point at which I cringed every time I had to look at or write or say my name, because I so badly didn't want that tie to those people.

 

So, seven years after we go married, I went through the process to legally change my name. Since I was filing the papers and paying the fees anyway, I took the opportunity to adopt my nickname as my official first name and to change the middle name I never liked.

 

It was a truly liberating experience. And even seven years later, I get a little twinge of happy every time I have to fill out a form with my "new" name.

[kokotg]

I'm feeling curious this evening. :) In my church, Mennonite, it is very common for married couples to join their last names via a hyphen or just having two last names. I'm wondering about the rest of the world, LOL. :) My dh and I have my last name and his, not hyphened.

 

DH and I planned to do this, but then the paperwork seemed like too much trouble, so we just kept our own names. The kids have both of our names, no hyphen, though. I didn't realize it was a Mennonite thing :)

[Kate CA]

I took Dh's last name.

 

Me too. It is a badge of honor and I wear it with pride. I love being a Kessler! :)

[nukeswife]

I took dh's last name in a heart beat, sure most don't pronounce it the way we do. It's Pederson but we say it with a long e between the P and d not a short one like most. My maiden name was Polish and very weird to spell since it was nothing like it sounded. You bet I jumped over when I could.:lol:

[5kidsforME]

Me too. It is a badge of honor and I wear it with pride. I love being a Kessler! :)

 

Same here :iagree:, except I am a Colvin. :D

[Mom to Aly]

When I was married to xh, I hyphenated on my ss card, which legally allowed me to use both names, hyphenated, or my maiden name, or my married name. I used my maiden name for the most part until I was pregnant (love my maiden name, always hated my married name), then changed to using married because wanted dd and I to have same name--xh just wanted me to use his name in front of his fam.

 

Now that I'm divorced, I have kept it the same, because, even though he is not allowed to see her, or even talk to her on the phone, he will not allow her to change her name to my maiden name, which she desperately wants. But we both use my maiden name, although on legal papers it is my married name.

[chiguirre]

I'm an Other. I kept my last name but tacked on DE ZZZZZ. So I ended up as Julianna XXXXX de ZZZZZ for Latin American purposes and just Julianna XXXXX for US documents. In day to day life I've always been Julianna XXXXX because married women use their own last name when one is enough and only use both when filling out government forms.

 

For kid's it's completely different from the US. For a child to have the same last name as their mother is a social negative in Venezuela. It would be seen as meaning that the father refused to sign the birth certificate (very uncommon even for non-married couples).

 

I have taken to signing homeschool lists (snack week, field trips, etc.) with XXXXX de ZZZZZ. That way people can figure out which kids and email are mine :D.

[E_Edgerton]

I kept my name. I went back and forth about the decision. I finally just let it be. I love the tradition you spoke about though...very lovely.:)

[Parrothead]

I took dh's name. I though about hyphenating, but it just sounded too weird together. I really wanted to do it because if we had a boy child he would have been the last of my dad's line.

[Shelbelle7]

I never knew anyone whose dh took the dw's last name and smooshed both of them together. ;) That's kinda cool!

We have friends where dh took the dw's last name instead of her taking his. Her dad was the last with that last name (no sons) and her dh didn't want her last name to "die" since he has a number of brothers to carry on his family name. I'd never heard of that before and my dh still thinks it's a bit strange. :tongue_smilie:

[dawn of ns]

When it got down to the crunch I choose to take my husband's name.

 

Then the JOP wrote my maiden name on the marriage certificate by mistake. So I made that very important decision on the fly by saying, "It's okay. Leave it and just put a hyphen and his last name."

 

I was more concerned about the poor JOP being embarrassed then about what name I'd go by. :D

[Karenciavo]

I took my dh's name and went from near the end of the alphabet to near the beginning (ah, the simple pleasures in life.)

[Jenny in Atl]

I'm hyphenated... it's sounds like a law firm. :tongue_smilie:

[Elaine]

I could not wait to take my husband's name! :001_smile: My maiden name was funny and I liked it, but I could not wait to be a Gardner.:D

[Jenne]

I kept my name. It wasn't a big deal either way, but with such a generic first name, I didn't want a last name that was in the top 10 list of common last names in the US. It would have made a nice name, but I already spend too much time answering to "Jennifer-not-you." My son has DH's last name.

 

BTW, I answer to Ms. Maiden Name or Mrs. Married Name, but not Mrs. Maiden Name. I'm not married to my dad!

[Melora in NC]

I took my husband's last name, but I dropped my first name (I've always been called by my middle name) and have my maiden name as my middle name (so I guess the answer is that dh's last name is my last name). I only use my full name on legal documents, but I like having it there. My mom did the same thing.

[3lilreds in NC]

I took dh's name. There are times when I wish I had kept my maiden name, because I miss it. But, dh was happy, I think, that I took his last name. Apparently I came off as enough of a feminist (or whatever) that there was a question about whether I would or not.

 

I had a boss once who told me I should hyphenate my last name if I ever get a PhD because Dr. Shauver-Hollmann sounds very academic. :lol: I can't imagine smooshing our names - Shaullman? Hollver?

 

So, 2 Mennonites who already have hyphenated names get married. What do they do? Ms. Yoler-Miller marries Mr. Hector-Vector. Do they become Mr. & Mrs. Yoler-Miller-Hector-Vector? Mr. & Mrs. Hector-Vector-Yoler-Miller? Mr. & Mrs. Yoler-Hector Miller-Vector? That last one has a nice rhythm to it. Or would they each choose one last name to hyphenate?

[jmgconner]

I had to pick other. My husband kept his last name. I kept mine and took his, but with no hyphen. Informally, I only use his. On anything legal, I have both. All of our children have both last names, no hyphen. They generally only use my husband's last name as well.

 

This is exactly what I did - I've never heard of anyone else doing it like this. We're so cool! :D

[Needleroozer]

I hyphenated, because my Dude had been married before, and her name was close to mine. We would have had the same initials, etc. I was young and petty, and didn't want there to be another Mrs. Dude. In hindsight, I may have done it differently- my name is very. very. long. We also gave the Boy my maiden name for his middle name, and sometimes that can be confusing for folks.

[PariSarah]

I didn't figure out until after I changed my name legally that I did want to use my maiden name professionally. So on all my books :D:D, I'll be PariSarah Maiden Married, while legally, I'm PariSarah Middle Married.

 

I never use the Maiden part except on books/articles/papers, and I'll have my students call me Dr. Married, not Dr. Maiden Married.

[Mama Lynx]

I kept mine legally, but I use his informally. My driver's license is hyphenated, though my SS card is not. The last few years I've been toying with getting my SS card changed to reflect both names.

 

I love and am proud of my maiden name, and don't want to just give it up. Plus, it's way cooler than his name ;-)

 

My boys all have dh's name. We had said that if we had had girls, they would have had my name. But, no girls.

[*anj*]

I never knew anyone whose dh took the dw's last name and smooshed both of them together. ;) That's kinda cool!

 

I knew a couple who did it. He did it for her sake, but was secretly embarrassed. They're divorced now.

 

I took his name though. I considered keeping mine because I loved the way it sounded. But then I wanted us to share a name, for all of us to have the same name. And I wanted to be Mrs. BlahBlahBlah, so I took his name and I've never looked back. I think it's pretty neat to be able to take on a new name when you get married. And I plan to be married a lot longer than I was single, so it just makes sense. :D

[melhouse]

I took his name. I dropped my given middle name and use my maiden name as my middle. My sil thought I was weird for doing it this way, but that was the way everyone I knew at the time (except her) did it.

 

Interesting thread.

 

Melissa

[A.J. at J.A.]

Took my maiden name on as a second middle name. Use my middle two initials professionally...so I became Angela MH Jones

 

Crazy! I did it because when I married DH his sister had the exact same name as me Angela Marie Jones (pretty generic). Keeping my maiden name as a second middle name (and then tweaking it a bit as above using the initials) gave me a little uniqueness amidst such a generic & popular name.

 

Angela

[anissarobert]

We were really weird. I kept my name and my husband kept his. We gave our son his name and our daughters my last name. This sounded great at the time, but it has complicated things from time to time. Generally people see that our older daughter has a different last name than her father and assume she is from a prior relationship. (They do get confused when they see that dd4 has the same last name as her sister, with ds9 in the middle with a different last name.)

 

We did this because there were no sons on my side of the family, but looking back, I think it would have been easier to just have the same last name. (They don't sound right together in any form.)

[Elm in NJ]

After about 5 years, I finally added an 'e' to my maiden name which is his surname. It just seemed like to mch of a hassle with social security, driver's license etc all for an extra letter. Even after 14 years of marriage, I still get mail with my maiden name. Say my name was Clear, his is Cleare( both pronounced the same), so I just couldn't be bothered. Kids have his name though.

 

Elmeryl

[melissel]

I kept my name. I went back and forth about the decision. I finally just let it be. I love the tradition you spoke about though...very lovely.:)

 

:iagree: I wish DH had been more amenable to something like that.

[Susan in KY]

 

It was a truly liberating experience. And even seven years later, I get a little twinge of happy every time I have to fill out a form with my "new" name.

 

I could not wait to get my new name--and I have loved it ever since!

 

:001_smile:

 

ETA: I dropped my middle name and use my maiden name as my middle name now legally, but for all practical purposes, we all have the same name.

[CactusPair]

I kept my maiden name.

 

When I was nine years old, I decided that I did not want to change my name when I married. It was something I always felt strongly about. When dh and I started dating in high school, I told him my plan and he laughed in disbelief. He thought keeping your maiden name was pretty weird back then. He even said, jokingly, that he wouldn't marry anyone that didn't want to go by Mrs. X. By the time we got married, he fully supported my choice.:001_smile:

 

My kids have their daddy's last name. We thought about hyphenating it, but it seemed cumbersome. They understand that they have their father's name and I have my father's name. It seems normal to them. I did ask them if they wanted me to switch to the married name so I'd match and they both said ,"no!" They thought that would be weird bec. dh is my mate and not my dad!:tongue_smilie:

 

Most people in my family refer to me by the married name, though. They can't accept the bucking of convention. I just go along with it. It doesn't bother me.:chillpill:

 

interesting poll

[Peela]

Dh wasn't going to take my name and I didn't want to take his ( I like mine, it's old English meaning 'fairies of the dell'- his just means 'barrel maker'!).

 

I don't mind the whole hyphen thing, its a kind of solution, but what happens to the children? I didn't give my kids hyphenated names because I cant see how that works for their children or grandchildren. It's a one generation kind of solution. So they might be called Kid Smith-Jones, what happens when Kid Smith-Jones meets other Kid Brown-Black? It gets ridiculous. So the kids got Dh's surname, and I am the odd one out. My SIL is Belgian and she says that is normal over there- the woman keeps her surname, the kids take on the father's.

[melissel]

I had a boss once who told me I should hyphenate my last name if I ever get a PhD because Dr. Shauver-Hollmann sounds very academic. :lol: I can't imagine smooshing our names - Shaullman? Hollver?

 

So, 2 Mennonites who already have hyphenated names get married. What do they do? Ms. Yoler-Miller marries Mr. Hector-Vector. Do they become Mr. & Mrs. Yoler-Miller-Hector-Vector? Mr. & Mrs. Hector-Vector-Yoler-Miller? Mr. & Mrs. Yoler-Hector Miller-Vector? That last one has a nice rhythm to it. Or would they each choose one last name to hyphenate?

 

:lol::lol:

 

I can't even imagine what we'd have smooshed our names into. Lester Cedeño...Lesdeño? Celester? :smilielol5:

 

I'm still tempted to change and hyphenate sometimes, but then the idea of the paperwork involved just makes me wilt :svengo: I wish I had the energy for it.

[Anne]

I did this too!!

 

Anne

 

I took his name. I dropped my given middle name and use my maiden name as my middle. My sil thought I was weird for doing it this way, but that was the way everyone I knew at the time (except her) did it.

 

Interesting thread.

 

Melissa

[Bee]

It just doesn't sound right to me when it's combined with my first name.

[sweetfeet]

I kept mine legally, but I use his informally. My driver's license is hyphenated, though my SS card is not. The last few years I've been toying with getting my SS card changed to reflect both names.

 

I love and am proud of my maiden name, and don't want to just give it up. Plus, it's way cooler than his name ;-)

 

My boys all have dh's name. We had said that if we had had girls, they would have had my name. But, no girls.

 

This. I kept my last name but through the years his name has crept into use so it's more 50/50 now. Our kids have his last name. I do plan on changing it someday, probably when my DL expires.:lol:

[dangermom]

I use my maiden name as another middle name, so for business and signatures etc. I am Gertrude Yoder Miller. For everyday though, I just use my married name and am Gertrude Miller. 'Cause I'm lazy like that. :001_smile:

[JudyJudyJudy]

I hyphenated my last name.

[Danestress]

I just like my names and it feels like me. So I kept mine and he kept his, and neither of us seems to have any regrets. Our sons have his name. It's really never been a problem.

 

I used to be really flexible about people calling me by his name, and for the most part, I still am. I never correct children or people who aren't really part of my life.

 

In the last couple of years I've had to come to terms, though, with the fact that people, and I'm no exception, just want to be known well. I finally asked that my name be listed correctly in church emails and publications. I actually felt weird - like people were going to sigh, "Oh, that awful Dana and her long suffering husband," but on some level, it didn't feel right to have the people who are supposed to love me best (my church family) not really know and use my name. So now they mostly do.

 

When DH was active duty he used to get calls sometimes for, "Major Dana'sname" because people who knew my husband worked in this unit would call. This cracked him up. He's well beloved in the Myname family and thinks it's awesome he sometimes gets honorary membership.

[mamato3 all-boy boys]

Officially, I added dh's last name to mine. But, my middle and maiden names have the same first initial, so for practical purposes I just use my married name and middle name/maiden name initial and married last name.

[kalanamak]

Kept mine. All diplomas/licenses etc. in that name. Son has papa's name (and the only grandchild with his grandfather's last name), which was also my mother's mother's maiden name. That's what you get when Germans intermingle.

[lwilliams1922]

I never knew anyone whose dh took the dw's last name and smooshed both of them together. ;) That's kinda cool!

 

:iagree:

 

I took changed my name to replace my middle name with my maden name and DH is the new last name.

 

first name, maden name, Dh's last name

[Catherine]

My boys have never once expressed any opinion about this. Though, in our circle of close friends, it is fairly common, so they know families who've handled the name thing in different ways.

 

I have never corrected anyone who called me his name, and the biggest offenders have all been in my family : / Whatever. I try to respect people's wishes on simple stuff like this.

[lwilliams1922]

When we were first married, I kept my name. I felt very, very strongly about it, never even considered another possibility.

 

Then, we had two kids, to whom we gave my husband's last name. And I ended up the only weird one. My daughter actually told me it bothered her that my name was different from hers. Plus, in the meantime, my family (to whom I had not been close for years) completely imploded and made my life absolutely hellish for some time. It got to the point at which I cringed every time I had to look at or write or say my name, because I so badly didn't want that tie to those people.

 

So, seven years after we go married, I went through the process to legally change my name. Since I was filing the papers and paying the fees anyway, I took the opportunity to adopt my nickname as my official first name and to change the middle name I never liked.

 

It was a truly liberating experience. And even seven years later, I get a little twinge of happy every time I have to fill out a form with my "new" name.

 

oh it took me a year to change my name. I didnt have a problem with it, i just never got around to it.

 

then I changed the spelling of my first name while I was at it.

[camibami]

Kept mine, he kept his. Kids are hyphenated. My MIl told me that "people at school will think you are the stepmom", but since we homeschool, well, that solves that!

 

I just like my name, its MINE, you know?

[ekarl2]

I took my husband's last name, but I dropped my first name (I've always been called by my middle name) and have my maiden name as my middle name (so I guess the answer is that dh's last name is my last name). I only use my full name on legal documents, but I like having it there. My mom did the same thing.

 

That's sort of what my mom did. Her given name was Ruth Robinson Clemons. She ALWAYS went by Robin, though, never Ruth. When she married she legally changed it to R. Robin Finley. What's funny is that in some computer somewhere, she's Ruth Robin Finley. She always knows that if a phone call comes for Ruth, it's probably a telemarketer! ;-)